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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. There's so many things here and in my house that people are always saying, where'd you get that? I'm like, I don't know. Do you have things like that? Because so many people give you shit. I was going to say I get one of those paintings and put it up here for you. So funny. When you're young and you're not successful, no one gives you anything. And then when you don't need anything...
It's exactly what Ozzy says. He says, "Why do people send us stuff? I can fucking buy it myself." Because they want to curry favor, because they want to know you, because they want to be your friend, which I'm not complaining about. It's nice. I remember in my lifetimes when I had no friends, like when I was first at college. Not just no girlfriends. No friends, period. I had old friends from high school if I went back home, but I was at college.
I mean, you know, like I was freshman year, you know, like. Yeah. So to have like so many friends that you collect over a lifetime and people who just want to be your friends, it's like, yeah, I don't take it for granted because like I remember those college days. It was like I went to Cornell. It was cold. There was like a five to one ratio of men to women.
And lonely. And lonely and like very competitive, cold competitive. It's just high suicide rate. It just was not a fun college. But I learned a lot, I'll say that, you know. Did you go to college? No, I was working from 15.
You didn't miss anything? No. I mean, when I, I won't say that, I'm so glad I went to college, but when I went to college, college was not yet, had not yet become the insane places they are now. I mean, elite American colleges, I know people think, oh, Bill, you've taken the red pill or whatever. No. No.
I've looked at this pretty carefully. What goes on in colleges is insanity. It is insanity. That's where all the super nutty, woke shit emanates from. Of course it does. Of course it does. They come up Marxist or whatever, and it's insane. No, literally Marxist. No, they do. Yeah, no, I know. Of course they do. Because I...
Because I always say. Hating America. Yeah. And I've never been a rah-rah. I make fun of all that shit with the flyovers and the getting a boner when you see the flag. It's like I give a fuck about the flag and all that shit. But I have perspective about America, which they do not. No. No.
No, and it's, I don't know, I think that colleges are very dangerous places right now. What is? They're very dangerous places right now. Colleges? Yes. That's why I said you didn't miss a thing. Because, no, when I went, I mean, here's like a major difference. When I went, I was allowed to learn like Western civilization, I think was the course, you know, in other words, or European history.
Well, you're not supposed to do that anymore because white people are toxic and terrible. And so we don't. We don't count. Well, no, we can't. But I mean, they can't help counting because like a lot of the things that we are enjoying. I mean, white people were the first to combine avocado and toast. The Winter Olympics. That's us, too. And music and elevators and bronze statues of commuters by bus stops.
Those are all contributions from white people. But we also, there was also like, you know, things that happened in European history that are important scientifically. Very important. Yes, the Greeks. But like you're supposed to like, now when I went to college, it absolutely was not right that they completely ignored other civilizations. I guess I could have taken African history, but it was not a thing. Mm-hmm.
So yes, we needed to correct that. But as always, they overcorrect so much.
that now, yes, add the canon from Africa and Asia, but don't throw out stuff just because, I'm so sorry Shakespeare was white, but he really, you know. He's quite important. But he did write well. Yeah, he did. Those stories, I mean, his plays, they're just unbelievable, and they're relevant today. Right, he had no stories. It just, it just. He had plays and sonnets. Mm-hmm.
Yes. So it's, I don't know, it's all fucked up. But you're moving back to England, right? Trying to, yeah. Really? Yeah. How long have you been in the States? Since 76. Holy fuck, that is a long... It's a long ass time. Well, it's a long time to be in one place and then move, no matter what the circumstances. I guess you're going home again, but boy, 76? 76.
That's your life. I mean, that's your adult life. I used to see you in the rainbow, you know. The rainbow? Yeah, I did. I haven't been to the rainbow in years. I love the rainbow. Oh, wasn't it a cool place to hang? It was kind of like this. Yeah. Down and dirty, right? Yeah. I remember going there with Rick James once.
And remember it had the downstairs with the restaurant and a bar. And then you went up. There was another level with a dance floor. Yes. And then above that, it had this place called the Crow's Nest. Yes. It was just like, it was almost comical the way these rooms got smaller and smaller. And smaller as you went up. Until there was one where I think it was only like room for two people. Yeah. The Crow's Nest, though, was where like Lennon used to hang.
I mean, you could do anything there. And they did.
I seem to remember Rick James doing cocaine there. Listen, Rick James doing cocaine there? I was in Cedars. I had cancer. He was in the next room partying every night, and they threw him out of the hospital. I don't know what was wrong with him, why he was there, but they threw him out because of the partying. Fabulous. That's not easy to get thrown out of a hospital.
He did. Yeah. He did. And I think he was boning one of the nurses. They were twins, these nurses, and he was boning one of them. Come on. No. That is so out of a movie. Rick James was fucking the nurse? At Cedars. I love Rick James even more now. That is so... I would love to meet that nurse. I mean, like, I wonder what it was. And what was he in for? I don't know. That he was able to be boning...
I mean, it couldn't have been something... What about the partying? I mean, literally partying. People were bringing in booze, there was music, it was the whole nine yards. And I'm like, am I hallucinating? What the fuck is going on here? That is too much. Yeah. I have to have some great director make that scene into a movie. Yeah. I don't know who's going to play Rick James, but I'll find the right person. That is...
And you were there for cancer? Yeah. But obviously you got rid of it. Yeah. Where was it? Not in the woman's place, was it? Oh, fuck. It's been all over. It's been all over? I had it in my colon and then I had it in my breasts. Oh, no. But you don't have it now because you look... You know, not that this is medicine, please don't misinterpret, but...
I've heard doctors say, like, they can tell a lot just by looking at you. Yeah, they can. They can. You really can. You can just see if someone looks healthy. You look very healthy. Thank you. You look great skinny like this. Really. You look, I mean, like 20 years younger. Thank you. Now, what is that?
How did you do that? Through that fucking injection that everybody takes. You took the Olympic? Sure, whatever it's called. That's what I call it. Yeah. The Olympic. Sure. Listen, when you have a weight problem and you've tried everything and then somebody says, take this injection and you're going to be skinny. I mean, I would never, but I'm crazy. I'm very paranoid about any foreign substances in my body.
I mean, I would be more worried that the Ozempic was going to give me cancer than it was going to prevent me from getting cancer from whatever it was helping me with. But that's the thing about medicine and health. You are always playing the odds. Always. It's always about the odds. This is why I'm so resentful of the heavy hand of government and media, like in COVID, when they were telling us,
Exactly. I get that we need to protect the population and blah blah blah and I'm willing to go a certain way with that but you know just to be pronouncing things based on the science when first of all you got you guys got a lot of it wrong. You who are the science. And putting stuff into our bodies that's not been properly tested.
Was Ozempic properly tested? They give it to people with diabetes that have taken it for years. And the side effect is you lose weight. Oh, right. Because diabetes is caused by, usually by obesity. So obviously there's linked. But what is the experience of being on it? You don't even know you're on it, you're just not hungry? You're not hungry, but the first...
For me, anyway, it's different for everybody, but for me, the first few weeks was fucking shit because you just throw up all the time and feel so nauseous. Really? Yeah. That's their big secret? We made something that makes you throw up? And who knows? You lose weight. Oh, my God. What fucking genius is in the lab? After a couple of weeks, it goes. And then you're just fine. You feel nothing. And you still are not hungry? No. But I've been off it for a while now, and I just...
Oh, you're off it now? Yeah. And the hunger doesn't come back? No, not for me. Oh, that's great. But I think, you know, your stomach shrinks and you change. I've been on it since December, but I came off a couple of months ago. Do you feel like you're slowly ramping back up with how much you eat? No. No? Not at all. Not at all. Okay. Yeah. Usually I do. I'll give it, you know, a couple of weeks and then I'm like, fuck it, I'll have pasta. And you used to be a big eater? Yeah.
No, just I always had a weight problem. But not from overeating? No, just Jewish girl with, you know, big dad, big mom. Big bum. That's it. Big dad, big mom, big bum. Well, it was just my luck that when big bums come in, I don't fucking have one anymore. Isn't that amazing how that happened? I mean... My whole life I spent getting rid of my fucking bum, and now it's all in. I never lost my taste for... Because I was...
From the era, I mean, I was 12 years old in 1968 when I was first whacking off and thinking sexually. Who was the big model in 1968? Twiggy. Do you remember Twiggy? Do I remember Twiggy? I adored her. You adored Twiggy? Jean Shrimpton. Jean Shrimpton. Twiggy. But Twiggy was the first model who was, I mean, before then, chicks were like these giant pie wagons with the asses you could serve drinks on and still have room for a three-week...
You could put a TV on it. Right. Which is back. That's, you know, back in style. But that was not my era. So, like, of course kids were always rebelling against what came before them. So my father's era was Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield and those, you know, big ladies with the big caboose and the giant rack and the hourglass. Marilyn wasn't big, though. She was tiny.
Marilyn Monroe? Yeah, she was. She was tiny. But didn't she have big tits? Yeah. But you can have big tits and still be tiny. Yeah, I guess so. Small, big tits. It's like jumbo shrimp. Right. Okay. But she seemed to have a pretty big caboose, though, as I remember. Anyway, it seemed to me when I saw her, she looked buxom.
She was like, again, but she was dead by the time I was like five or something. So she was not my era. And I thought she...
People have complained about this before. I have no thing against Marilyn Monroe. I just, when the subject comes up, I can't seem to help myself from ragging on her. But she just seemed like everything I don't like in a chick. I mean, she just seemed pasty and stupid and a pain in the ass. I know she had a bad childhood and candle in the wind and blah, blah, blah. But it's like, they cannot stop making movies about this chick. And I'm like,
Was she that great? What was the big deal? I know, she blew Kennedy and then she's dead and blonde. She was meant to have blown the brother. Why does America have this obsession with her? I mean, they just made one. By the way, Ana de Armas, what an amazing performance. Yep. With no accent. I know, I know. I was so impressed by that performance. The movie is...
Mean was it really all that terrible I get it. She had a rough time, but she must have one good day Somewhere in there that scene where she's blowing Kennedy. Did you see it? Mm-hmm. Oh, please shit. I mean, I don't know if that they made that up I don't know we don't know if that's what happened in the room when she was visiting Kennedy but if it was what an asshole Kennedy was I
Do you think, though, that any president is any different? Yes. To women? Oh, of course. There's... Oh, stop it. People, men, let's say, in the area you're talking about are very varied, and it's determined by the sort of...
level of their libido. Some people have a high libido. Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy. They're getting laid all the time, whether they're president or they're a plumber. There are going to be other people. Richard Nixon, I don't think gave a shit about getting laid. He cared about power. He did not have a high libido. That's not what ran his life. Same with Ronald Reagan. He had mommy.
He had a wife. Any guy who calls the wife mommy, you know there's trouble. Okay? I mean, incest porn is less sick than that. I think she was doing all the screwing, wasn't she? Nancy Reagan? Behind his back? Yeah. I never heard that. Yeah.
That's a bombshell because they were like the epitome, we thought, or they presented that of adoring. Remember that look? Please, with her looking at him. Please, that was so fucking fake. Give me a break. Come on. Nancy Reagan was fucking around when she was in the White House? Sure, and she was a bad actress looking at him the way she did. Give me a break. We know she was a bad actress. That's for sure. If you've seen Hellcats of the Navy. But who was she fucking?
Like the Marine Guard or like... I heard she fucked Frank Sinatra. Yeah. Oh, come on. Why would Frank Sinatra want to fuck her? Because he could. And she was first lady, so he got off on that? Of course. Come on. Really?
You think Frank Sinatra was the kind of guy, because there are guys like that, I've known some, who really get off on, they're not fucking the woman, they're fucking the fame. You've got it, exactly. And you think Frank Sinatra was fucking the fame? He was, at that point in his life, I mean, this is when he must have been
So he was in his 60s. He was married. The one marriage that lasted... Barbara. Barbara Marks, 22 years. But, you know, the last 22. Okay? The easy 22. Right. I mean, because... I think, listen, it's... I think it's not only the power, but he's fucking the guy, too. I fucked your wife. So he was fucking Reagan. Or fucking him up. Well...
I'm going to have to commit harakiri tonight knowing that Nancy Reagan was unfaithful. This rocks my world. Oh, shush. Behave. Come on. No, I'm fucking with you. But I mean, I find it fascinating, and you could be right. And I had heard that rumor, but I thought, oh, that's just the kind of thing, of course, they're going to say. But maybe you know something I don't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Was she fucking anybody else? Any other? Allegedly. Allegedly, wow. Well, I could see that. I mean, I don't think Ronnie, I mean, he was president only two months when he got shot. And he was never the same after he got shot. And he was 70 already anyway. Not that that's that old. Because we're around that age and so it's perfectly fine. But I think after he gets shot,
Don't you think it's different being 70 now than it was then? Somewhat. Yeah. I think they can... It is. Well, they didn't have Ozempic. They sure didn't. No, I mean, I think it is different, but I think people also exaggerate when they try to pretend...
That, you know, 70 is the new 50. Oh, I said today, you know what, when people go, they're 50, but they really, oh God, I'm 30. You know, 50 is the new 30. 70 is just fucking 70. That's it. You can, exactly. By living right or being lucky with genetics or whatever, you can shave a few years off what you seem, your actual number is. Mm-hmm.
We're all heading down the same... Same path. You can't fool it. You cannot. All you can do is what you're doing. You're looking great for your age. You look younger than your age. And also, you're not afraid of your age. Not afraid. Neither am I. You cannot. You cannot. You just have to fucking accept it, embrace it. Other things come with it. I actually love this age more. It's my favorite age because...
I'm smarter than ever. The only bad thing about it is that I know there's a clock running on it. Like, if I could freeze where my life is now, I would. More than I would at 35. Because I'm... I was a mess at 35. Just a fucking mess. What were you doing? Were you married? Married... To Ozzy? On road, yeah. At 35? Yeah, I was married to him at 28. Oh, you've been married a long time to that motherfucker. Yeah.
Known him since I was 18. 18? 18. Wow, he got your ass young. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. I got to say, that's something I will never know in my life to...
like have somebody who I was banging at 18. He wasn't at 18. We didn't get together until much later on. But we used to see each other because both in the same industry, you know, it wasn't that big in those days and we would pass each other. Right, because your father was a big mocker, right? Yeah. He managed all these bands and... Yeah. Boy, that must have not been an easy thing to say to him. Like, I'm fucking...
the baddest of the bad and you're in the music industry he wanted me to go out with a nice lawyer or you know well even if you went out with a rock star not that one yeah not the one who eats the bird head i think he would have preferred neil diamond or somebody of course oh neil diamond can you imagine if you were sharon diamond i would like to see that movie
Sharon, play me. Longfellow serenade. Can you imagine? You don't bring me flowers anymore. Remember that duet with Barbra Streisand? Of course.
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So you're married how many? 40 years? 45? Oh, no. We've been together as a couple for 43, married 41. I mean, there must be parts of that that are wonderful. The best and the fucking worst. Right. But life's that way.
Yeah. And our life, it's never been in the middle. It's been higher than high and lower than low. Life is that way, but it has been my mission to try to just, in that the best and the worst equation, find a way to just get the best. Get to bed? Get the best. Oh. Get the best without the worst. You try, but sometimes you can't help what happens. I feel like that's a bad bargain.
the best and the worst. But that's me. And other people, many more people than the people like me make that choice because that's really what marriage is, the best and the worst. It is. And I can, I definitely understand that there is the best part that I am missing out on to a degree. But, you know. What's the longest you've had a relationship for? What day is it? Five years.
I was with someone from 1988 to 1993. I was mid-30s. It was exactly the time, like, if you're going to get married, you should get married. And it was exactly the person I should have married. I mean, it proved to me... Do you still speak? Oh, yeah. Good. Oh, absolutely. That's good. Oh, yeah. No, we're... We would do anything for each other. I mean, I'm friends with almost every girl I ever knew.
There's a couple who like, but it's not beefy. It's just like, you know, there's some girls who are just like, oh, I see. You're not, you're never going to like settle down. And I'm glad we found this out fairly early. And no, I don't really need to like
maintain a relationship with you. I don't hate you, but you didn't work out and now I'm with somebody else and I'm not going to talk to you as an old boyfriend and fuck up my real relationship. So there's sometimes that happens. And that's fine too. Not everybody you ever come in contact with and touches you do you have to stay in contact with forever. No, you don't. I said that to my scout master and I meant it.
Not your priest? I was raised Catholic. Get out of here. You didn't know that? No. Mar is a very Irish name, you know. M-A-H-E-R is very Irish. My middle name was supposed to be Aloysius. Doesn't get more Irish than that. Jesus. But we stopped going to church right before I was about to receive my... How come you stopped?
It's so interesting. When I made my religious documentary, Religious, that was... Which I've watched many times. Oh, good. I'm so glad. I still love... I was just having dinner with the director, Larry Charles, recently. We might do a sequel. But...
My mother, it was a year before she died. She died in 2008 and this was 2007. I was like, I kind of knew, I better get mom on camera. But we were making the movie then anyway. And we got the permission from the old church where we used to go to film it at the church. I don't know who was doing PR for this church, but they're going to rot in hell. I'm telling you, I don't even believe in hell, but this idiot to let me into the church doing a movie about religion and
And that's the first question I asked my mother. And it's great, you know, when you work with someone, including your mother, because I was working with my mother, you get to places you wouldn't like if you weren't working with them. You just do. And I had never said to her, asked her this before, but I said, you know, why did we stop going to church? Because she never went because she's the Jew.
But under the Jewish religion, you're a Jew. I always hate when people say that because it's like, I don't have to live by your rules. That's your rule. I love the Jews, but I don't live by Jewish rules, okay? Your rule is... First of all, my mother was bare... She never set foot in the temple. She was not religious. I didn't even know I was Jewish until I was 13. This is the other question I had for her is, why didn't you tell me? Why did it just come up one year at Christmas?
She had no answer for that, but she did tell me that the reason why we quit going to church is because a new pope came in, and he was very conservative, and he was very against birth control. And I wanted to say to her, I didn't even know you were fucking, because, you know, your parents, they're not fucking. They fucked twice, me and my sister. Yeah. And it just...
I mean, I was 50 years old and I was blown away. And it's my mother, somebody I should have known. It's weird because my mother, Irish through and through, and she was Catholic and my father was Jewish, Russian. Oh, so you had the opposite. Yeah. But you were raised Jewish. Yeah. Yeah, I think it would have gone easier for me if I had had that. I would have rather been with the Jews because I think
there wasn't as much guilt and, you know, that Catholic bullshit. I mean, like, I'm not on Team Hebrew or Team Noah. I'm an atheist. But, I mean, the Jews definitely are a religion that, in general, it does not focus as much on the afterlife. It's not as much about scaring the shit out of you. No. It's not as much about devils and demons and...
Bullshit like I mean there's certainly bullshit in it. I've been to Jerusalem. They do a lot of crazy things a lot of crazy Jews, but I
Generally for the rank-and-file Jew, and there's how many in the world? Fifteen million? It's a very small amount of people who have... Tiny. Tiny. To consider all the achievements from a cadre of people that small is pretty amazing. It is pretty amazing. And that's why a lot of people think that, you know, when you get all the white supremacists, they rule the world, they do this. No, they just are educated.
Yes, white supremacists who I think of as real white supremacists are never what I would think of as educated. I would think of them as rednecks, and I mean non-disrespective people whose necks are actually red. No, but they are very ignorant people who live in a bubble, who, you know, conspiracy theory bullshit. Right.
they just are just so uneducated that they don't get the true facts. Know the facts first before you make your mind up. Do your research. Don't just assume. And, you know, it always frustrates me, you know, and then if anything goes wrong in the world, oh, it's the Jews. The Jews brought fucking COVID. Right.
It is amazing the way the Jews are just consistently the go-to. And then there's Kanye that starts on the Jews, and then you get people on freeways on the 405 with swastikas and defacing all Jewish cemeteries. And it's like people like that who...
who have a huge young following are very dangerous when they spew out their opinion, which is an uneducated viewpoint. No. And look, it's not a competition which minority group has had it worse. We are allies of all the people who have been forever, whatever reason, shit upon and
hunted and downtrodden and treated unfairly. But in the last hundred years, I mean, there's nobody who's had it worse than the Jews. The Holocaust was in the 1940s, okay? Were black people treated well in America? No, they weren't in the 1940s. And there is still racism today. But there is in every country. But six million people were hunted in
Rounded up and murdered. But not only Jews. They were traveling people, gay people, people that had disabilities. So it wasn't just Jews. You add all of those on. Yes. So it's like, you know, it's just...
When people go, my heritage, my legacy, this, that, the other, it's like, yeah, well, what about the Jews, mate? And do you know what somebody of color said to me? In England, a friend of mine. And I asked him because he's a lot younger. And I'm like, okay, what do your people think of Jews? And he goes, they don't give a shit. Well, whose people are we talking about?
This person you're talking to? It's a person of color. Oh, okay. Yeah, but English guy. Right. And I'm like, so it's when you say to people of color, well, yes, you've been persecuted, but how about being persecuted for 4,000 years?
And you go, well, what about the Irish? What about the Scottish? You could go on and on and on. I don't think people understand. My people, the Irish people, were subjugated by your people, the English.
"Hey, I'm half Irish, give me a break." But it's like, people forget what happened to the Irish. I don't think people, I think people think of Ireland because it's right near England and maybe they know that the northern part of it, Northern Ireland is actually part of the United Kingdom. But they think of them together for good reason, they're very close together. But the Gaelic people in Ireland,
did not speak English at all. So when the English conquered Ireland, they were conquering a country that was as different from England. Exactly.
Exactly. As many of the other countries they conquered in the world. But they stole their land. They tortured its people. Yes, they treated the English very harshly. Well, the English treated the Irish despicably. And it went on for years and years and years. So, you know, again, it's not a competition. It isn't a competition. All I'm ever saying is let's be realistic. Let's be realistic and look at things with perspective.
There's a lot of suffering and a lot of reasons for suffering. And racism is certainly America's number one worst crime, hands down. But...
There's other bad things, and other bad things have happened to people. But as I say, it's... Let's look forward. Let's acknowledge the past, but let's not dwell there. Yeah, you've got to move on. At some point, you've got to let it go. You have to. But the thing is, that's a thing about learning from history, because you have to know the history to be able to change things. Yes.
And that's why it's important that people understand about history. And acknowledge where we realistically are in the world now. It's different. 2023 is really quite different. Even than 2003. You know, I know that as a white person, I can't know as well as... Of course not. Agreed.
None of us can. But it doesn't mean we're not compassionate. You want things to change. And also aware and have a pair of eyes. Yes. I can see how the world has changed. Maybe not as well as you, but I can see it. And let's just acknowledge and move on from a point of realism, of where we are today. And how about a pat on the back?
as opposed to lots of countries that never got over a lot of their shit from their past.
But America did. You know, America is able to change. It's like this irredeemably racist, not irredeemably. No, it's not. Not irredeemably. It's not. It was horrific for way too long. But most people today in America are just not there. I mean, we have polling on this. Like something like over 90% of people of both races want to live in a mixed race neighborhood. That never happened when I was a kid.
I lived in a completely all-white town. See, I didn't. I was brought up in a town that, well, in a part of London that was full of Jamaican people and African people, and it was brilliant. Well, that's not the common experience of someone of your age in England, though. Yeah.
I lived in an area called Brixton. Okay. And the immigrants used to congregate there. That was their area. But it was also a very artsy area. I bet you it was a lot more interesting. Oh, it was great. It was great. Yeah, right. You know, there was a great vibe where I was brought up. But it was, you know, people used to go, you live in Brixton? Like, yeah, sure. I went to England, to London, for the first time in 1984. Wow.
To do the Bob Monkhouse show. Oh. Do you know? I loved him. Okay, so tell people who he was because you can tell it better than me. He was just a very, very great comic, but he was very well educated.
So he had a show. He had a show, a variety show that went on forever. Right. It was described to me as a combination of Johnny Carson and Ed Sullivan because it was kind of also a talk show. Because he interviewed me for like 28 minutes. But it was a variety show of talk and then entertainment. Yeah, I was 28. It did not really go great.
I remember giving them my, they were looking for young comics. But in 1984, I remember walking around London, it was all white. It was all white. But you go outside of London now, but now it's totally changed. It went from, I read this in Andrew Sullivan's column, it went from, in 50 years, it went from 86% white to 36% white. Now,
This is not a complaint. See, if we were conservatives, this would be like a lament. Great. It's a fact. It's a fact. It's a fact. And it's a happy fact. And if you can't discuss it. Just don't tell me we're living in a year we're not living in. We're living in the year when London is mostly people of color. Yes, it is. And I'm applauding it. Yeah. Happy for you. Happy for it. Okay. But let's live in the year we're living in. It's...
You go to Windsor, Windsor Castle, okay? And the town, of course, is called Windsor. And it used to be, when I was a kid, all English tea shops with China and everybody used to go there for afternoon tea. And you'd go to Windsor Park and watch some polo. And now you go around there, there's no more fucking tea shops.
None of that. It's Arabic restaurants. It's Jamaican restaurants. It's Chinese. It is a complete and utter melting pot. And it's great. It's great. And there's always going to be some people, and we can't hate them for it, who remember the tea shop. And that's their memories of their youth.
and where they first fell in love or whatever. And so they're going to be nostalgic for it. And you can't hate them because they're like, I don't recognize my country anymore. Because in the Brexit vote, there was a lot of that.
People said that. People who've lived in England their whole life. Of course. Of course. And the old village green Englands. The traditional things have gone. Right. But we still have the royal family that is way too traditional. It's way too. I love them, but they're way too traditional. It needs to cut back on the shit. My message to those people is always, sorry, but that's life on earth.
Things change. Nothing stays the same. Nothing stays the same. And if you stay the same, you're left behind. You don't have to like the change. But you can't just stand there in the middle of the street and go, stop! I am standing athwart change. It just doesn't work that way. Change is going to come, and it's going to roll over you. It's how you deal with it. That's right.
You can move. You'll have to, maybe. It's sad. Maybe it would be a better choice to try to adapt to what's new. But just because something is new doesn't mean it's good. No, but it's... Or that it's bad. Or that it's bad, right. So it's, you know, you just... You can't stop... When you're young, you think everything new is automatically better. Yeah, we didn't used to think men could get pregnant. No, that's stupid.
Okay, that's stupid. Oh, don't get me started. No, but I'm just saying, like, it's new. Yes, it's new. It's new thinking. You know, I mean, I could start eating in the bathroom and shit in the kitchen. It would be new. It wouldn't make it better. It doesn't mean it's good. So I'm just saying, some things that are new are good, and some things that are new are just dumb because we haven't tried them out. Listen.
I looked at this ad online and it was for pregnancy pillows. Those long pillows that women lie on and they put their leg on and it takes the pressure off their belly. Oh, I see. And it was being modeled by a man. Hold on. Really? Yes, we know that certain hermaphrodites can get pregnant.
get pregnant. And that's amazing. Well, that's not who they're talking about when they say pregnant men. They're talking about trans people. Of course, but they can't fucking get pregnant. No, it's so silly. So why are we pretending? It's pretending. Because everything's pretending. There was a guy in the paper the other day in the English newspapers and he was trying to breastfeed a baby and the baby was on his nipple. But it's a fucking guy. So what the fuck
are you doing see you need a show where you can talk like this this the problem is that you were on cbs the the old person's network of of detectives yes i always say to actors on the downslide get out of there take your detective series like a man and get out there's no shame there's no shame in doing detective work on cbs it's honest work it should not be done as long as you know when to leave
I didn't. But, okay. But you were like, how could, I mean, I'm trying to think of how I would feel if I was like, oh my God, and it's noon, or morning, you're taping, and it's like a bunch of politically correct people who you have to like tiptoe around. This is not you. No, it's not. You need this.
You need this. And it's better. And it's more real. Better for you because who you really are is good. And it shines through. And it's just like, it must have been just so exhausting. My husband and my kids used to say to me, what the fuck are you doing that for? You do not belong in daytime. Right. And I knew it. But I knew I could never get a nighttime show. Well, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, who knows what could happen? First of all, everything is moving away from shows. I mean, we're in a podcast. Could I do this on a show? No. No, of course not. And I wouldn't want to put them in that position. I mean, I guess I could go into HBO tomorrow and say, I want to do the show, hi, for now on. And, you know, I just wouldn't. It's not that kind of show. And I love that show the most. But, yeah.
I think, I mean, Robert Kennedy was here. He's running for president. He was here like two weeks ago and getting a respectable number. I mean, he's Robert Kennedy. And the idea that a candidate for president would sit down in a place like this with a guy smoking pot and they're swearing, but that's where the country is. We're not formal anymore. We're not pretending anymore. Trump broke all those barriers.
Oh, oh. You know, he says pussy and motherfucker and he fucks around. He makes fun of invalids. Everything. There's no more. And America is just like, yeah, we're in our sweatpants at home. We're just not that kind of people anymore. So like this, I think that's why I'm loving this podcast because it's like the –
We've hit the bottom. This is the ultimate where there's no filters between how you actually really act and what we're putting out. Now, there are on other podcasts. They're in the day. They've got the big penis mic in their face. Headphones on. Yeah, headphones on. That's fine. But we're at the very ground floor here.
And that's what you need, I think. Yeah. That's what you need. You should do a podcast for Club Random. I never, ever felt comfortable sat at a fucking desk or a table or whatever. That's why they liked you, but they only saw the percentage of it you could show. You know? Yeah. Which is a compliment to you, because even with a percentage, it still worked. I mean, you were very successful in television. Yeah.
But I feel like after you got canned at, not the view, the talk. The talk, yeah. Yeah, okay. So I feel like after that, very soon after I read in the tabloids, which I read every week, and I don't care who knows it, all these stories about like, oh, Sharon Osbourne's going to get her revenge because she's got this brewing and this brewing and this brewing. What happened to your revenge?
I don't need to. Oh. Because I know about me. I know what I am. You never wanted another show after that?
Of course I did. Nobody would fucking touch me in this town. Are you fucking joking? That's so amazing because you did nothing. I did nothing. I did nothing and people know I did nothing. It's so scary. Did you watch The Idol? Of course. You did? Yeah. It was exactly what I thought it would be, which is entertaining and they're both entertaining stars, The Weeknd. I thought The Weeknd surprisingly is a really good actor. He is a good actor. He
She really is. He pulled you in and she's just beautiful. And a good actor. Yeah. Yeah. Lily Rose. Yeah. I mean, it was, there's lots of quibbles. I hate fucking critics. These are just watching. Shut the fuck up. You know, it's not the movie I would have made. Yeah. Cause you can't make movies, but the person who can did and you're watching it. So shut up.
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Do you like adventure? Check out Expedition Unknown, a podcast with Josh Gates from Discovery Channel. Josh Gates is a member of the Explorers Club and has a degree in archaeology. Panty dropper alert!
On Expedition Unknown, he travels all over the world searching for lost cities, buried treasures, and the truth behind unsolved legends. From the remote jungles of Cambodia searching for a lost relic to the American Midwest to find the legendary loot of Jesse James, Gates wants to get to the bottom of these mysteries. Listen to Expedition Unknown wherever you get your podcasts. It's so funny. When I went to England that first time, there was two channels.
Two television channels. And they had on like, you know, a documentary on Stonehenge or something. That was prime time. TV. Yeah. Do you remember that? Of course. And then at 11 o'clock at night, somebody used to read chapters from the Bible. And they called it the epilogue. And they would say goodnight with a chapter from the fucking Bible. My God. Yeah.
London's off the hook now, though, right? Oh, it's wild. It's like the most expensive city in the world, right? Plenty of Russians, isn't there? Everybody. Arabs, Russians, you name it. But everybody with money. Yeah, big time money. So like the common people, how do they fucking... I do not know, honestly, Bill, I do not know that everyday regular people, how they survive. I do not know.
I don't know. I mean, this is a subject I've talked a lot about on real time and done editorials about. And I just don't, I don't know how we both live in a country where they take more than half my money, more than half for many, many years. And I'm even okay with that if I thought it went wrong.
In the right places. Well, how can you take more than half of my money and we still have this kind of income inequality? How can both those things be true? You take more than half and we still have people in the streets and still... But what about the state tax that we have to pay here? There's no infrastructure. Well, that contributes to why I'm paying more than half. It's 39% federal, 13% state.
So we're already up to 51 and then sales tax and fees and bullshit tax and fuck you tax and stop sign tax and whatever. Okay. How about when we leave here, we still have to pay tax? What do you mean? That's what I mean. We still have to file here. We still have to pay tax here. You're saying that this is coming up because you're moving to England so you had to look into... No, that's the law.
California is taxing you after you leave the state? Not just me, everybody that does. Oh, I didn't think they wrote a law just for you. That's actually in the Constitution. You can't do that. How can that possibly be constitutional? To tax someone? Oh, my God. California is even worse than I thought. Yeah, they've really got you by the balls. That's really upsetting. Oh, my God. So when Prince...
Harry and Meghan go back to England, they will have to be paying state taxes to California? If they've lived here over a certain number of years. And what do you hear about that? It's just such an ugly situation. But isn't that what was the...
See, you were like fired like a three ball in the corner pocket. It was a bank shot. You were just, it wasn't even what you said. It was what Piers Morgan said. Yeah. And then you. And I said he's got freedom of speech. Right. He's a journalist. He's outspoken. I'm remembering it. And he's outspoken. That's what he's paid to do. And he's right. And he knew Meghan. Well, he saw, okay, this is coming back to me. He saw the.
Oprah. Okay, Oprah. First of all, there's so much bullshit in that interview. Listen to this. I thought she was South American and then people say you're being racist. I'm like,
What the fuck is racist about somebody looking there from South America? I would never have guessed. I would have never thought that she was from California. Put it that way. They look like they so overplayed their hand as far as the victims and people just got sick of it. Please, please, the victims and I'm not well. Yeah, neither am I. I'm not fucking well.
I will always give a little slack to Harry because he served in the military. Can you imagine a princeling of America? I mean, George Bush...
Somehow won the 2004 election pretending that his service in the Texas National Guard was anything but a dodge. Somehow they switched things around and John Kerry, who was a legitimate war hero, somehow he was the asshole and George Bush, who got favored in by his rich daddy into the National Guard. That's crazy, but
That's what happens to a princeling in America when there's a war. But this kid did go to Afghanistan. Yeah, he did. And he said he killed 25 Afghanis. Other than that, the wedding went off without a hitch. Oh, perfect. It was beautiful. Beautiful. No, I'm kidding. I don't know. I'm hoping he's saying he said Afghanis, but I assume he means the Taliban.
And I think he worked in a helicopter. Yeah, he did. So I think that means shooting people with bullets from the sky, which, yeah, I get they're the bad guys, but they're in their pajamas and you have this gun that shoots like 3,000 bullets a second and...
It's a little unfair. They've got a Toyota pickup truck. That's their tank. Even so, the Russians tried. The Americans tried. They still didn't get it. What do you mean tried? To take it over. Oh, of course. And the Taliban, well, the Afghani nation has won each time. How long were the Russians there for? Well, you know the great thing that the famous line from the Afghani that says to the
Any of those Westerners who tried to take over, but it could be an American. You've got the watch, but we've got the time. Yeah. And that's really what it's about. It is. Yeah, we have the equipment. And they're like, yeah, we've seen this before. We can wait you out. Yeah. And they did. And, you know, girls are now in the situation they were before we got there. You know, the Taliban are not big on girls' schools. They're not big on girls getting educated. And...
How liberals, liberals can be on the wrong side of this issue is the biggest mind boggler for me. Like how you can somehow when I criticize traditional Muslim societies for the way they engage in what you have to call gender apartheid, putting fucking bags over women's heads, you're actually putting a fucking bag over a chick's head. But I'm the bad guy because I'm pointing this out.
You're the liberal and you're on the other side of this issue? Really? Because that's Islamophobic or whatever bullshit word you want to call it? Really? I'm not the... Okay. That's when I knew they had lost their way. When they got that issue wrong after 9-11. That's when it... Okay. Things have switched up now.
But look at the appalling pictures that came when the Americans left. Exactly. I mean, there's a reason that the Afghan mothers were handing their babies to us as the planes left. I mean, when you give up your baby to a stranger as a plane is leaving, that's not a great advertisement. I wouldn't put that on the tourist poster. No, but it's happened so many times that why...
Everybody knew when they were leaving, so why not help the people that helped the Americans, all the Afghanis that helped the Americans? Why not put them in the front line to get out of the country? And they just left them. No, it was a...
I mean, I'm sure they've gotten some out since, but look, what always happens if you don't get them out right away, of course, then the new regime comes in, which is the Taliban. And is after them. Of course. The first thing. Same thing happened in Vietnam. Exactly. You think when the North Vietnamese regular army arrived in Saigon, I mean Ho Chi Minh City, but at the time Saigon. Yeah.
Do you think that they just were, oh, yeah, you helped the Americans during the war. Well, you know what? Let's agree to disagree. No. Bang. It was your head on a spike. Yeah. It's strange that, you know, the Democrats, Biden, look, I've said this
If it's him against Trump, I will vote for his head in a jar of blue liquid. I don't care if he's a thousand years old. Still better. But like, why pull out of Afghanistan, which is a gutsy move, and then do it wrong?
What was the fucking hurry? What was the hurry that you couldn't take six months to plan it properly? That's what I'm saying. That's all you needed. That kind of shit bothers me and worries me more than ideology differences. I get the ideology differences, but then there's just competency.
Like whatever your politics are, you can't even just do it. It is. Well, it was exactly the same if you look at footage of when America left Vietnam. Yes. The panic. Oh, absolutely. With the gates closed at the embassy and people climbing over. Punching people. There's no difference to that to what was happening at the airports. Punching people trying to get in the helicopter. Yeah. Yeah. It just is. It's so fucking heartbreaking. No, it's exactly. I mean.
I'm all for America conquering places and enslaving their people and changing their religion. But when you leave, you've got to make a good exit. You know, otherwise you just look like a schmuck. But then again, hasn't history taught us something?
It has taught some people something. Unfortunately, those are not the people who then run the world. But what are you saying? No, I mean because you have learned from Vietnam. Oh, of course. No, America doesn't learn. Well, because America is a youth-worshiping country, so it looks at older people and people who have wisdom.
They're the bad people because they know things. And knowing things can get in the way of your feelings. Or of trying to brainwash younger people. Right. Yes. Your kids are not. They never got that disease, though. Because I talked to Jack here.
No, he's a good guy. Yeah, very level-headed. Yeah. Like none of that stupid millennial woke bullshit. Oh, God, no. No, no. No, no. Plainly, you've got crudom in there. No way. They have their own opinions. And Kelly also. Yeah, you have your own opinions. You don't have to follow the masses. And the thing is, what I've always taught them is there's nothing like debating. And you debate. Right. And as long as nothing is attached to hate. Right.
It's fine. That's always the way it was in your family? Always. Really? And it's not the way. Don't go with the masses if you don't want to. If that's what you definitely feel in your soul. But if you don't, then stick to your guns. And like when you were having dinner together with the whole family, would issues come up like that? And there would be lively debates around the dinner table? Sure. Oh, God, yeah. Of course. Yeah.
I think that people that have gone through a war, my parents went through a war, so I think that you are... Mine too. Yeah. So you are... Grounded. Yeah. And you have a perspective on how bad life on earth can get. Yes. War. And my father lost a lot of his family. Sure. So it's, you were brought up on debating things.
So where are you living now? If you move back to London, right in the city? No, we're outside of London. We have a home that we've always kept. How far outside? 35 minutes. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Yeah, like where all the British royal celebrities live. George Harrison. Thank you. No, it's true. Like all of them have estates outside of London. Because you want to have access to the city if you want to go in there and take acid with your dentist or something.
But you don't want to live right in the congested city. Because the English countryside is so beautiful. It is beautiful. The rolling green hills and all that. Yeah. So where is this? This is on Butford-on-Schitts? It's called Buckinghamshire. Buckinghamshire. Of course it is. As you guys say, Buckinghamshire. Go on.
How many centuries back does your castle go? Like, how, when was this built? 12th century? Just 200. Yeah, I saw some show with Jeremy Irons. Yeah. And his house, he lives, he bought a castle, a real castle, like from, you know, 1200. And the rooms, I mean, it's just so cool. And of course, you know, he's got,
wired with modern, he's got his computer in there. It's not like, you know. But to be living in something that looks like that just is mind blowing. But you see, I find places like that are not comfortable for me.
No, it's a drafty old fucking castle. Of course not. Yeah, I mean... We have central heat now, but I'm sure they did everything they could to make it... I'm sure they have heat. But you look at Jeremy Irons and that's where he belongs. That's... Do you know what I'm saying? He's that man. Well...
You can't belong there unless you've gotten a lot of lolly from working because that thing must not have been cheap. And to redo? And then to redo, yes. No, it's definitely a variation on being a baller, but it is baller, this fucking castle. I mean, try to take a maiden in there and not get laid, okay? I mean, just give her a glass of mead.
Have the jester come out. Oh, sure. And perform a little. A little show. Do a little jousting. I mean, it's funny when you think about, I'm getting this from movies and stuff, but the way people fucked and shit back then, like there was a bucket by your bed. And, you know, there are very few books that you read
from that time when they talk about the stink in the streets. Right. And the way people stunk. There are still cities in this world that stink. I won't name names. No, really. But yeah, yeah, places can stink. Yeah. I mean, sanitation. Oh, have you been to India? I have not been to India.
As soon as you get out of the plane, shit. And it's like so oppressive with the condensation everywhere, the humidity and the smell of human shit. Oh, God.
Yes, I mean people still go into fields to fucking shit. Yes. Well, I mean we've made I Can brighten the mood we've made great strides here Yes at the Klemberg Academy No, but the world has made great strides in getting people to stop shitting in the street other than Los Angeles now in the
Because there's a lot of people shitting in the streets here. Well, if you're going to be picky, yes, and San Francisco. Yes. Well, you call it shitting in the streets. I call it justice shitting.
No, it's wrong, but let's not be judgmental about shitting in the street. But there was, up until pretty much the end of the 20th century, a real problem with about a billion people around the world shitting in the street regularly. That was, you know, public defecation was not unusual. We have greatly reduced that number.
of people shitting in the street. So if you just text the number on your phone there to our charity, we would like to get the last few people who are shitting in the street to cut that shit out. No, and that's the kind of thing I always say about progress. You know, people just, it just does not make news.
I mean, that's actually a big story. Because it's good news. Nobody wants to read good news. Right. Doesn't sell papers. No, it really doesn't. And yet it should. They should have it a banner headline. Streets less full of shit. Yeah. Why not? Double page spread. Smell disappearing also. Yeah, it should be in color, double page. But no. Um...
I don't know why we got onto talking about that. But London is, London, I never read about a homeless problem in London. They're homeless, but nothing like here. But they're not on the streets. No, they're not. You can't, because you can't. Okay, exactly. Because that is the decision of public officials. You cannot set up home in the street. You can sleep in the street, in the doorway.
But you cannot take up home. You cannot put a tent. No tent. No. That's where it all went wrong for us, right. And no cardboard boxes, nothing like that. It's the street. It's again the same principle as I was saying before about the reverse of what liberalism really is. Liberalism is for the sake of humanity and compassion, can we get these people off the streets? Yes.
And woke is, how dare you ask them to move? This is their home. They have rights. No, it's not. There's got to be, there's easily a better solution to this. You know, get a barracks.
They're not that expensive. And people who don't, if you absolutely don't have a home, we will provide you with one. We will do our best to keep it secure. We'll have security guards. We'll keep the lights on. Whatever. It's not undoable. With the amount of money that they've had for it and not done anything with it. But instead they put them in hotels? That's your answer? Hotels?
Can you imagine what those hotels are like? Oh, I'm sure we know. I mean, and it's, you know, this is where the sanctuary city people got hoist by their own petard. You know, liberal states have said, we believe in the concept of a sanctuary city. And then the states where the migrants were coming over the border, like Florida and Texas, they said, oh, okay, well, we'll send them to you then.
And of course, they didn't like it. And it's just a good example of, could everybody just stop the posturing? Don't pretend that you love migrants so much, and then when we send them to you, you don't like them. You know? You're full of shit. And we can see that. Yeah, you like them when it wasn't your problem because you're not a border state. And then when they show up in Chicago and New York, you're like, what the fuck? What are we going to do with these people? Yeah. You know?
And there's got to be a solution to this that is compassionate. Is it that hard to be compassionate without being an asshole? And the thing is, I would say 95% of immigrants want to work. Of course they do. They want to work. They want to take care of their family. Oh, we need immigrants. We always have. This is a nation of immigrants. They're the lifeblood of this country. It would be like stopping eating or something that...
nourishes you over time, but you have to do it. You don't like eat 12 meals in one sitting, which would be like a million people showing up at the border at once. You do it in a
Again, why can't Biden, the people, I get that the Republicans are not at all organized. That's not their thing. It's all about performance art and how you feel in your gut. And we love America, even though we're actually traitors to it in a lot of ways. But we love Russia, but somehow we love America. We don't believe in democracy, but we love America. I get it. It's all the flag and that bullshit. But Democrats were always supposed to be sort of the...
Well, we know how to make government work. And a lot of them did. Obama did. Hillary Clinton would have. They're wonky people. So when Biden got in, I was like, really? I thought you were that kind of guy. But you didn't know how to pull out of Afghanistan. You can't seem to get a thing going on the border that's compassionate but not stupid.
You know, again, it's the competency worries me more than the ideology. Like, it makes me think no matter what politics you people are, you're the same person who can't get anything done. A lot of promises, but nothing is done. It was as if because he said, I'm going to pull troops out of Afghanistan, first thing he does is pull troops out of Afghanistan with no planning.
So what do you think your life's going to be like in London when you move back there? I mean, or wherever, in Biffin, Chipshire? Fucking I'm sure. It's going to be very different to here. It's going to be very much more. I don't see you'd be happy just sitting at home. No, I never can. So what are you going to do? I'm not that person. Are you going to be out there in the middle of nowhere? Where's your nearest neighbor?
About 400 acres away. So what are you going to do? Like take the Jeep over to have a cup of tea? You're going to get bored. I don't like neighbors. Okay, but like what are you going to do all day? Work. Work at what? Work from home, do my podcast, do different things. Oh, do a podcast. I'm doing...
Actually, I'm working on getting a museum for Ozzy and Black Sabbath in their hometown of Birmingham. And we're also going to make it a gig, too. There'll be a gig attached to it. And also a school to teach kids how to play real instruments. What do they play now that are not real? Computers. Oh, right, right. So a museum. A memorabilia, great, you know, a lot of...
It's going to be very, very high tech. And do you think the impressionable mind of a six or seven year old will be able to go to this museum dedicated to Ozzy Osbourne and really pick up? But it's all about music. It's all about music. It's about people that came from nothing that made it worldwide. It's a dream. They got out. They made it. And it's like...
But then every... Teaching people about music. The problem with that is... And to have a gig attached so that there's a place for new talent to play. Because there's not many places like that anymore. I feel like too many people want to be musicians. I feel like we should discourage this, not encourage this. How can you say that? It's easy to say, kids, you should have a dream. But it seems like for most kids, there's only one dream.
American Idol. I'm a rock star. I'm a model. You know, it's like, it's not, I'm working for Doctors Without Borders now. I don't think that's their dream. There are still, I agree that it isn't a huge amount when you go down the list, but there are people that want to learn to play instruments, that want to learn how to write music.
So what do you think of the music that's out today? Do you like any of it? Sure I do. Yeah, me too. Yeah, sure I do. People still make records that sound like records that could have been
hit in our era like they could have been a hit whenever I hear a great one the weekend does when he I mean I've heard his album great a lot of it it's like not for me and then when he gets his whole his hands on a hit single it's like perfect yeah and they sound like records that could be could have been a hit in the 70s 80s yeah he's good yeah yeah
Yeah. So, and then there's lots of stuff that like, I don't get the sort of depresso trend with a lot of the, you know, the Billie Irish, the Irish, the Lana Del Rey, Demi Lovato. It just, it's like music to be depressed to, you know, can you dance to depression? There's a sub-genre of like very sort of low energy music
Low. Down. Happy. Very down. But then you look at the Britney Spears and all of those people. Britney Spears? Yeah. She hasn't made a record. No, she hasn't made a record. Do you know how many people follow her? And she's happy doing her dances every day. Flipping her head around. Tits out. Yeah.
But isn't she a little crazy? I mean, isn't that really what's going on here? She's a victim. Oh, my God. She is a victim. Yeah, she may be. Victim of a pushy parent that pushed her out there as a kid. You're right.
And I can remember watching an interview of hers where she was saying that there was one Christmas and they were in New York. She was in a Christmas play in New York when she was a kid.
And her mom and her had rented some shithole apartment and it was cold. And how she would spend her Christmas there and her sister and brother were at home with the dad having a jolly old piss up at home. And she was there, the working one. Right. And from when she was a bubba, she was sent out there. You know, that's from the pushy stage mother. But don't you think...
That at some point, the meaning of an adult is someone who says, okay, bad things have happened to me in the past, but I'm going to make a conscious decision on this day to just live in the present.
And not let the past define me and dictate how I am. Now, there's a limited ability to. But there's a lot of people that are not like us, that are strong. You're right. And fucking can deal with it. Like us. You just have to fucking deal with it. You're totally right. And there are people that are too delicate mentally to deal with it. You're right. And she, unfortunately for her.
And I feel that she is a victim. She's just a hoodoo. She had a manager that kept fucking pushing that little girl out. She was doing fucking a talent show here. She did X Factor that was a show from England. I tried. There was... Really? Yeah, I did. She was on a talent show with an ear...
piece in, and the boyfriend, who was an agent, was telling her what to fucking say. Wow. I've got to say, I think that was probably a good decision. But she needs the money that much. You need the commission, the manager, pushing, pushing, the parents. No, you're right. She's a Hooters waitress who had a big career happen to her, and it just... It's one of those, be careful what you wish for, because...
Right, because it just wound up making her more unhappy than she would have been in her normal life as a Hooters waitress, right? Yeah.
But isn't she married now? Isn't that some source of stability? I don't know. Is that a real marriage or is it? I don't know. I hope so for her. Right. But I don't know. Right. It's a gym teacher or something, right? I don't know. I've been trying to figure out who or what. I think they call them trainers now, but to me it's a gym teacher.
Pull-ups, Marr. I mean, it's the same shit. Yeah, that's it. Jumping jacks. Yeah. I mean, they could pay $200 an hour if it's the same shit. Do the rope. Squat. Fucking old fucking squat. But yeah, but what do you think about Taylor Swift? What do you mean? What do I think about her in general? Excuse me. Taylor Swift. Well, I like Sparks Fly.
Do you know that song? You do? My grandkids just love her. Okay. I don't really get the phenomenon, okay? That's probably just a generation. Worldwide. But I give her a lot of props. I mean, she's obviously super... She's like Madonna if Madonna wasn't completely ice cold. Madonna is like...
Like, if they need to, like, take out a tumor with, like, sub-zero temperatures, they'll use Madonna. Well, she should be in the royal family. She's not huggy, kissy. Right, not at all.
Taylor Swift is like super focused and businesslike. Yes. But I think you see a person there. Yeah, yeah, you do. Yeah, right. And she's just a bright. And that's enough. Yeah, and very bright. And like totally like on. Professional. Yes, to say the least. And totally on top of her game at 33. She is. And she's like, okay, this is not gonna be like this forever. I'm not gonna do this when I'm 50 probably, or maybe she will.
But I'm going to do this show with, I think it's like 44 songs in the show. I mean, that's a lot of songs to be doing if you're 50 or 80 or whatever. So I'm going to do it now, re-recording all her old songs so she owns the, you know. She's very smart, savvy. Very, very smart, surrounded by great people. And she's just on her game. I just don't get the music.
It's for a younger generation. If she would do more like Sparks Fly, but I just, the ones that are like anthemic to that generation, I just don't get what the thing is. And it's not horrible. It's just like Shake It Off. I don't get why I would listen to that if I could put on Crimson and Clover. I don't know. It's for kids. Or Paranoid.
Yeah. Or War Pigs, you know. Mr. Crowley I would definitely put on before. But, you know, that's... I have no...
Bad feelings about Taylor Swift, I think. I admire everything she's done as a person. Yeah, but... And then there are some music artists who are more contemporary who I do get more because I think they just... They do those kind of records that remind me of our era. Yeah, yeah. There are some records that I just find more timeless. And it's funny because, like,
When I was a kid, late 60s, first starting to listen to music, my father's era was big band music.
Totally different sound. I mean, Benny Goodman sounds as different from Cream, right? Yeah. As you could possibly be in the whole spectrum of music. It's clarinet-led. It's a big band orchestra. That was my father's, Benny Goodman. Sure. Yeah, of course. Jazz, Sinatra as the singer, right? Yeah, that's where he started. Yeah, of course. And that's where he... Yeah. Okay. Okay.
So then rock and roll comes in. It's so different. And that was only over a course of, I mean, big band. The 60s. Yeah, big band music was still big in 1950, in the 50s. Yeah. But you go from when I was a kid till now, and other than rap, it's a lot closer.
There are still lots of people who are making the exact kind of music we listened to in the 60s. Whereas in the 60s, no one was making big band music. No. Okay. But Maroon 5 is not that different than fucking the Classics 4 or some band. So that music that our generation embraced has had a lot more durability.
It's the same as jazz. Same as jazz? Jazz will never go away. It'll never go away. But it'll never be huge. But it will always be there. I was going to say, it'll never go away and it'll never be good. But it would always be there. There will always be. Yes, so will fungus. But yes, I'm not a jazz fan. You're not? No. Are you? It's like there's no hook.
There's, I don't like it when it is too fusioned out, but when it's written and it's not just a bunch of guys up there just jamming. It's, you know who wound up doing, I think, Right by Jazz was Steely Dan. If it's incorporated into rock music where it's not playing lead, it can be fantastic. Steely Dan found a way to do that.
Not a lot of other. There was Chicago, to a degree. I mean, Chicago is an amazing band. Amazing band. With tons of great records. Yeah. One of those bands. Still working. I'm sure they are. Why wouldn't they? Yeah. Any band that can do an entire set, concert set of hits, they deserve to be in a certain pantheon. You know, the Eagles, you know, there's some of them. Paul McCartney could do eight shows.
Between the Beatles and his solo work that were all... And look at him at 80. He looks fucking incredible. Yeah. I saw him recently and had the privilege of sitting down and chopping it up with him. And he looks great. Obviously so happy in that marriage. I mean, I said to her, I said, you have a real girlfriend vibe, not a wife vibe. You know, they really look like they're, you know. Yeah. And...
you know, just not full of himself, you know, just happy to another day. Another diamond in the pinball machine. Yeah, I think he knows how blessed he is. Oh, and we, for having been the beneficiaries of that talent. I mean, his body of work is just beyond. I mean, I think a lot of records that he made
lots of people are not aware of. He made so many great records. His catalog of work is it must be the biggest that's out there. I don't know how much you got all his solo albums, but I could probably make you a tape of 20 McCartney songs that you might not know of if you didn't listen to all those solo albums,
And not everything on all of them is great, but you can make an amazing tape of songs that were as good as all of his best stuff. They could have been Beatles songs. And he has had an amazing run that I guess is still continuing. But I mean, how long can they go? I mean, is Ozzy going to still--
Get up on stage. He wants to do one more show because he didn't end it the way he wanted it to end. Unfortunately, he got sick and he says that he wants to say goodbye properly. That's great. And he wants to do one more. That's it.
Good. He should. He deserves it. He does. He's iconic for a reason. Musically, not just the show. Yeah, it's his lifeline. It's what he does. He says to me that it's the only thing in his life he's done right. And that's not true. He's got a great family. But he looks at himself like less than, unfortunately.
A lot of stars do. Yeah. It's like they became stars because there was some hole that needed to be filled. And at the end of the road, after they've been giant stars, it still needs to be filled. Yeah. But you're the one who fills it. I hope. All right, I got to pee.
Well, I'm not a spring chicken. I knew you were going to say that. I'm not a spring chicken myself anymore. Oh, you're like my old man. Three times in the night gets up to piss. How many times do you get out? Once. Oh, okay. I consider that a victory.
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