Riley Gaines | Club Random with Bill Maher
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All that chlorine is going to kill you. Totally. I hope not kill you, but you do know that chlorine is not healthy and that everything seeps through your skin. I mean, anything you put on your skin, it's not, of course, exactly like drinking it, but it is a small version of it. So if you spend like eight hours a day in a pool, like day after day, I can't believe that is not going to have a very harmful effect. I mean, I didn't have eyebrows for...

My whole life until I graduated. And finally, my eyebrows came back because of the chlorine and the bleach and the pool just stripped them off. I had no eyebrows. I thought I didn't have eyebrows. Maybe you were an albino. No, I know. I was more apt to believe that. And you're starving yourself of oxygen for...

you know, 18 years of my life, you're told not to breathe. It's like, that can be good for your brain. Told not to breathe because in swimming, we have to take in oxygen. Yeah, but you're supposed to limit your oxygen. Really? Yeah. Like in 100 Freestyle, you only breathe

A total of like... Yeah, I feel breathing does not get the respect it deserves in this country. Because the pandemic, I was never down with the masking. First of all, they've studied it now since... And it really didn't do much. Right. I mean, there are, of course, you know, as everything in this country gets so politicized, you're either like, if you're...

If you're for masks, you're a liberal who's a good person. It's not that simple. Of course, there are situations where masks are good. Right. Surgery.

Right. Like preventing a big gob of snot from falling out of your face. There we go. When you're leaning over someone's open heart. I'm so... Poor pro mask. Yes. And even with the pandemic, I'm sure there are some masks and some situations where it does make sense. But in general, it was a lot of bullshit. Absolutely. And what was never brought up, except by me, of course, the crazy comedian who knows nothing about health. And yet all my predictions turn out to be true about it. Like...

It's very bad for you to be breathing in your shitty stale carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide, yeah. Right. Yeah. All the people who like going nuts, as they should, about global warming, which is that. Right. Right. CO2. But this CO2 that you're actually, it's like we're standing behind a bus. Where is Greta Thunberg talking about this stuff? I know. Right. I know. Do you know her? No.

You're like the same age. You could be friends. You could go see Barbie together. Dang it. I'm in my pink. Is it too late to call Greta? Can we get her here? I want that to happen.

I want you to see Barbie together. Because I've heard very divergent things about this movie. I haven't seen it. But some people hate it. And somebody I know said they walked out after 20 minutes. They just couldn't take it that way. And it wasn't a conservative person. No, it's interesting. I was just going to say, it's both sides. You hear some people who love it. And you hear some people who detest it on both sides. And you have not seen it? Haven't seen it.

What do you guess it's about? Like, what do you think? Like, how did they make Barbie interesting? I mean, because it's a huge hit. They're going to make Barbie totally demean Ken. Right. Demean his masculinity. I mean, that's... Oh, so you think that's the whole joy of it is that it's...

It's a big dick slap in the face to Ken. Totally. Totally. Poor Ken. Where's Ken's justice? Well, but yes, and I saw that the... I thought it was funny, actually. The billboard... This is as much as I know about the movie, except, of course, it's been written about endlessly. But the billboard says, she's everything, he's just Ken. Right. There we go. Yeah, but I take that to be...

They're in on the joke. Right. That's an exaggeration. They're doing on... So that makes me think maybe it's hipper than other people say it isn't. I don't know. It's hard to tell...

Truthfully, it's hard to tell satire versus not satire anymore. That's a very good point. So how can you tell if they're really in on the joke? Because if you would have, I mean, take what we went through, for example. I would have thought when the NCAA said Leah Thomas could compete with the women, I would have thought they were in on the joke. No, wait. But they are the joke. The NCAA is the joke. Leah Thomas is the joke. Okay, let's back up for the people who don't know who Leah Thomas is. I do because I've read about her.

She is the trans swimmer who beat you. We tied. I did not get beat. I get called. Beat you in the locker room with her big cock. There we go. In that case. How big is her cock? You've seen her cock, right? We all did. How big is it? I mean, what kind of a cock is it? Describe her cock. Let's see.

Well, I don't want to see it. I just wanted to hear it described. Well, if I had to see it, you have to hear it. First of all, this is a six-foot-four man, right? Well, a trans woman. A male. Okay, this is what she would claim. And she does go through life as a woman, correct? A woman with male parts. Yeah, right. I'm just trying to paint the portrait. Okay, wait, can I...

I'll be frank here.

I don't use she, her pronouns when referring to Thomas, and I call it a male. I think even using the term trans woman is giving Thomas some of our language as women. And I think trans woman is a subset of male. I do not believe trans women are women, and so I'm saying that up front on the record. No, I'm basically on that page. I think, of course, a trans is a...

True phenomenon there are some people who are and I'm sure this is the wrong phrasing But people know what I mean born in the wrong body, right? You know, they really do feel and want to be the sex. They were not born I get that and those people should be protected and respected That is my position as a one-issue candidate running for governor now protected and respected but

But I also agree with you that it is a different category. It is not the same thing as women. And you hear women all the time, and not just conservative women, who say,

I am being erased. And what I do and the way I have walked through life is different enough. There's difference in degree and difference in kind. This is a very important thing in epistemology. Difference in degree, difference in kind. When something becomes a difference in kind, we're in a different category. This is a difference in kind. It's not just degree. So protected, respected, and respected by-- I don't know how we would do that language-wise,

But I don't have any problem with, really with either ones because I just, look, the point of language is so we know what we're talking about. I know what you're talking about. There we go. That's a good point. When you say he, and I know what a wokester who was sitting here would say if they, oh my God, the pronouns are fine. You call it, you know, identify as a cat and shit in the litter box. Totally. Totally.

Whatever you want. Whatever blows your dress up or your dick up. Whichever. Or if you have both, both. But I forget what the original question was, but I think it's describe that cock.

I was trying to run away from this question. Okay, six foot four male. Use your imagination. That does not mean a big cock. Cock size is not ever usually... I know from women who... How are you about to... No, I know, but I know girls who have dated like...

Seven footers right and the seven footer sometimes has a very small penis Just because this person is six foot four doesn't mean they've got a great big Johnson well, but You know it's That was a situation. I tried to refrain from looking at entirely naturally we all did you can't unsee it Yes, we can unsee it um it I mean

Being in that space with a male, it's like a bad car wreck, right? What space was this? Our locker room. The locker room. Yeah. The locker room where? Where were you? We were at Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech. This was our national championships, which is, of course, the meet. Is that your home turf, Georgia? Not my home turf. Oh. I'm from Tennessee, but went to University of Kentucky. Send your kids to the SEC. That's my plug. But Georgia's cool. Georgia's cool. Atlanta's very cool.

Atlanta is...

Interesting as well. What have you got against Atlanta? Oh, come on. Really? I will say it. What's going on in Atlanta that you don't like? Man, the traffic, first of all. Oh, the traffic. Well, we live in L.A. here, so you don't even try to feel bad about it. Yeah, no. I drove up from Orange County. Traffic means the city's doing well. Yeah, but it also means it takes you an hour to get to Miles. If that's the worst thing that you have to face, you're living a charmed life. Well, it takes up... You know, if you spend...

Let's say on average, three hours in the car every day driving to and from work for a total of 10 miles. Three hours out of 24 is one-eighth, and that's one-eighth of your life. God, it's the ATL. You're so spoiled. It's the home of, I don't know, Jimmy Carter.

Do you know who Jimmy Carter is? You're so young. I think I'm too young for that. You're aging yourself. I'm just kidding. I know who Jimmy Carter is. You do? I do know who Jimmy Carter is. You're supposed to know who the president is, no matter what age. I know who Jimmy Carter is, yes. Who? Who was he? When was he president?

Okay, you're about to make me look dumb here, and I promise you. I know there's got to be some bar joke about a blonde from Kentucky walking into a bar. No, you're just supposed to know this. Tell me. It bothers me that they let kids out of high school without knowing anything. It's not your fault. He was president. He was elected in 1976 after Watergate. After Nixon. After Nixon, correct. Nixon, then Ford for a minute, and then Jimmy Carter. Then Ronald Reagan. Right, you got it.

And so he was late 70s and has been demeaned as this sort of ineffectual one-termer. He was probably the most moral guy. He lived it. First of all, he was the first I Love Jesus president, which is not my jam. Yeah.

but he meant it. By the way, it must have worked. He's like 98 and he's been dying for a long, he had brain cancer at 94 and beat it. I mean, this guy and I'm sure everybody's preparing his obituary every day for the last year. I mean, this guy's taken his hammer and tool belt to the hospice

I mean, this guy does not quit. But that's the thing. Like, he built homes for the poor. You know, he walks the walk. And when he was president, the only president who never fired a shot. Wow. Never fired a shot, a missile. It was like...

That should get some medal for that because not that we shouldn't fire shots sometimes when we have to, but his thing was like, unless we really have to, let's just walk around shooting people and bombing people. Right, right.

Anyway, so you're in Georgia. You're in the locker room. There's this guy with a big dick who you're... Now, when you're swimming, doesn't the dick get in the way? Or does it work as a rudder? Well, when you're... You know, that's a good question. Probably as a motor, right? I mean, it's got to. It's like a fin. It's like hydrodynamic, right? But that's the thing. Swimming is so much about let's make ourselves as compatible to the water, right? Yeah. I mean, you shave your arm.

- Right, exactly. - It's like everything you can do. - Your eyebrows, not intentionally. - Your eyebrows just happen to disappear.

Yeah, I mean, every little thing you can do, because this is a sport that's measured down to the hundredth of a second, right? And so any little thing you can do to merely shave a 100, you're doing it. You're an elite athlete. At the level of elite athletes, this is baseball. This is every sport. Remember Tom Brady with deflating the balls? Right. Like if I could take...

0.2% of a pound out of the ball. I can throw it, but it's always these incremental things because you're all so good at such a high elite level. So I'm thinking if you've got a big old, you know, kielbasa down there, either it's going to make it better and cut through the water better or make it worse. I mean, think of a surfboard, right? You have those fins on the underside. Do you? Yeah. And that's why? I would imagine. So you think it's an advantage to have a dick in the water?

I do. No, is it? I mean, truthfully, I mean, the suits that we wear, right, they're skin tight. I mean, it takes you 15 minutes at least to put these suits on. I mean, your nail beds are bleeding by the end of it because you're tucking and poking and prodding. And so, yeah, it's not enjoyable. And so, you know, maybe that's enough to suppress anxiety.

the package down there, but I can tell you that's not true because, I mean, it's a man in a women's swimsuit with a bulge. I mean, it's like the Twilight Zone. So, like, final answer, I guess... Final answer, I mean, it's probably a disadvantage in all of reality, right?

I don't know because I don't know. I mean, it's certainly an advantage in that it went along with being born someone whose muscle mass is going to be so much greater and testosterone. And, you know, I mean, we are so through the looking glass on just this whole issue of pretending that male and female athletes are somehow...

Peers, they're not. I mean, I may have talked about this on this podcast before, but it just obsesses me because it's my refutation to the people who say, oh, Bill, you know, when you go on about wokeness, it's just a little fringe. It's not a fringe.

It's not just a few people because this was in the Atlantic. That's one of like a very major publication, a very mainstream major publication, very respected. And they printed an article and the title of the article was separating sports by sex doesn't make sense, but it does. And there was like sentences in this article that you would swear this is just a parody in the onion. Like, um,

We don't know why. We don't know if men are stronger than women, but if they are, we'd have to find out if it's because of nature or because of socialization. Yeah, that's what it is. They're trying to put through this idea that these differences are not innate. It's very similar to what's going on with gender and sexuality, like

Well, you're born a boy or a girl. Maybe that's not right. Maybe it's how you socialize. And that's where there's gender and sexism. There's this big debate we're having about that. But when it comes to athletics, it's just so plain.

That we're just different. It's not sexist to say that. No. We should ask the Atlantic if we should separate the Paralympics versus the Olympics. Or if we should have heavyweight boxers competing against featherweights. Are we fat shaming? Right. Are we fat shaming the heavyweights? Right. No, we do this for a reason. Yes, it's... Yeah, I mean, that's the most...

That's the craziest thing I've literally ever heard. I mean, same thing. You don't have 18 and unders competing against 12 and unders, right? I mean, these divisions that we have in sports, they're there for safety or for fairness. Also, not to go back into history lessons in the 1970s, but just before Jimmy Carter became president, like in 1972,

Nixon was president. They passed something, and I'm sure you're aware of it, Title IX. Absolutely. And Title IX, again, this is an example of how the wokeness is, they have their heads so far up their ass, they don't realize that they're anti-liberal. Title IX was specifically passed so that women would have an equal shot in sports. Absolutely. And that the colleges had to devote equal...

resources to women's sports. They're just as important as men. This was like a big liberal victory, as it should be. And then they throw this guy in the pool?

It's like so through the looking glass. Certainly, and we've seen this entire original first wave, second wave, even feminist movement shifted. I mean, even in the U.S. House of Representatives, we had this fall entirely on party lines when Representative Greg Suby introduced the protection of fairness of women and girls in sports. Now you've got to school me. Right.

I don't know who this guy is. You got to hit me up on these hearings. Tell me what you're talking about. Representative Stubbe. Who's that? He is... A congressman? Yes. From where? Um...

Actually don't recall where he's from Republican. Yes. Yes. Yes Republican. Yes. Okay, and she's on your side He's on my side because somehow my side I mean women right and I mean truth He was on the side of the truth and science and logic and common sense and reasoning, right? Yeah, he was on our side This is why I just want to kick these Democrats sometimes said you're on the wrong side here you fucking dummies and

I thought you were the party that supports women. Anyway, go ahead with your story. He introduced on the House side the Protection of Fairness in Women and Girls in Sports Act. Wow, there's a mouthful. I know, totally. And this bill, it passed, but it fell entirely on party lines, meaning that all 203 Democrats...

All of them, every single one of them. Keep in mind, these are parents who have young daughters and young sons. All 203 voted in opposition of protecting women and girls in sports. So yeah, we've seen this feminist. I mean, think of the Me Too movement. Think of the women who burn their bras and the free the nipple. We're seeing this flip entirely on its head. I mean, it's mind boggling.

And I have been accosted once or twice with someone saying, and I've also heard this many other places, that as a heterosexual man, if I did not want to go out with a trans woman, that would...

I'm so indelved into this topic, I already know what you're going to say. Well, it would make me a bigot. You're homophobic. Exactly. Homophobic or bigoted. And again, your heads are so far up your asses. And it's so funny. These are the people who are always complaining about privilege.

And it's so privilege-y to think that you can dictate what my taste should be in another person, something that personal. I'm not homophobic. What if I just want the feel of a real vagina, like the way I want leather in my car interior? Can I have that?

Would that be okay? Or should I check with comrade fucking make the rules about my love life? I know. Jesus fucking Christ. I know. It's not homophobic. It's just my taste. I don't like redheads either. That's gingerphobic, okay? Yeah, exactly. I am allowed to have taste. And of course everyone is and they would not want that right to be taken away from them. No, no. But... No, it's...

I mean, this movement, the T of the LGBT, the TQ, I don't even really honestly know what Q is compromising. Queer. Yeah, but like what, like these letters. I can understand LGBT. Well, the whole thing is silly. First of all, it's so funny. Again, these people, they're so mindless. They...

choose to lump themselves all together in this... If I was like any of those categories, I would want lesbian, gay, uh...

Certainly trans is very different than gay in a lot of ways. I mean gay is all about we're born this way. Right. And we fought for that right by the way they did and it wasn't an easy fight. No. For the kids who think. And they really wanted equality. Right. What I'm noticing with this trans movement is they don't want equality. They want to take our rights. They don't want the same rights. They want our rights. It's not the same.

There's some of that. But I mean, just on the score of LGBTQ+,

And I've heard A put in there. It's like, why would you want to take everything that isn't heterosexuality and, oh yeah, just lump us all in together in this big soup? It reminds me of the beginning of Gilligan's Island. That was a show well before you were born. And the first year, they just, they went, the Gilligan, the Skipper 2, the Millionaire,

and his wife, the movie star, and the rest. There was only two other cast members. And they must have been like, wait, couldn't say the professor on Marianne? And then the next year, they said the professor on Marianne, because I guess their agents called them. And they said, this is ridiculous. I mean, and the rest, really? And they were just as big a part of the island as the other five people.

I feel it's like that. It's like, and the rest. You know, just whatever else, whatever weirdo kink you're into, we just keep adding to the letters. Yeah. And it's just, I mean, we're, again, liberals, I think, always supportive of whatever people want to do, especially with their sexuality. Now, your view that they want extra rights is...

Not an uncommon view in this country. And I see, I can see it. I think a lot of these people for so long didn't have any rights or very curtailed rights. I mean, even gay, I was just watching this documentary on Rock Hudson. He was a big movie star that you don't know about. He had to be in the closet. He was like America, it would be like Leonardo DiCaprio.

today having to pretend being gay and having to pretend he was always on a yacht with a model oh wait he is always a bad example but that's what rock hudson had to do and that was like into the 60s and 70s right he and the 80s he was on dynasty and he and he when he was he was the first one to die of aids who was famous so it like really changed when america heard about that shit

Okay, I can understand people who have lived through that kind of experience Wanting a little extra, you know, they like wait, let's make up for some of the past It wasn't that far back that we had to go through this shit. I can get behind that but Yes, there isn't there is a place it goes just too far and it's too far. I

We're here. We're in that place now. Yes. No, I agree. We're living it. It's entirely too far. And this idea of that community being oppressed is silly. I mean, it's silly. I agree. It is. Truthfully, and this might be getting a little bit into the weeds, but people, this isn't to say there aren't bad apples. There's bad apples in every group, right? Of course, right.

People don't see color anymore. We're not living in the 1860s. That is certainly not true of every single person. It's not true of every single person. But I have made a similar point, so we're not far off. Right. I always say, let's live in the year we're living in. Right. And in the year we're living in, it is true. We have come such a long way. But you wouldn't think

that if you saw the media. That's why I say live in the year we're living in. Yes, absolutely. It's like, is racism still a malady in this country? Absolutely. But it's like we're using the blood work from 1990 to diagnose it. And that's not where the blood work is now. Still an issue, absolutely. And there are still lots of racist people in this country, just individuals. But most of it is just

You know, I went into a store and I got a, you know, dirty look from the guy. And it's like, yeah, that happens to people of color. And it's wrong. Right. But it's like a little, you know, this kind of dirt off my shoulder thing is required. And that's, I think, what most people do. But as far as like what the laws say and also what just the mainstream of Americans think.

are just not racist like they used to be. No. It's just you can find it and it's still an issue and there still needs to be redress for obviously the legacy of it still lives with us in many ways. Certainly. It's not a non-issue, but I agree. That's, I think, the biggest problem that they have on the left is this obsession with race, chasing phantoms of racism that don't exist anymore because

Everyone just wants to be a victim, right? I was just going to say that. It's victim mentality. And that transcends race. That's like everybody. That's what I was getting to. Much more generational. That's your generation. Don't lie.

Don't lump me in. Didn't we just say we're not going with the whole the rest thing? I don't want to be in the rest. No, you're not Ginger and Mary. I mean, Professor and Mary in. Yeah. I wouldn't do an and the rest to you. No, but it is. It has transcended far beyond race. But that was the point I was getting to because I think it's extremely evident in what we see in the media. But again, coming from the South, I live in Tennessee.

And again, not to say there's not bad apples, but I think we can all agree that slavery...

is awful and terrible and should have never happened. And as we move forward, we most certainly should prevent any situation where we're discriminating in that way. I mean, that's awful, and I think everyone agrees with that. Well, not just that way, but I mean, that's the extreme horribleness of racism. But we need to truck it back way further than just... Right. Is what I'm sure you were trying to say. Yes, of course...

The other point that never gets made, because again, there are certain people who just don't want to hear what the truth is, and there should be no politics in this, but slavery in general was not a racial thing. It certainly was, of course, in America, but it has gone on all through history. The word slave comes from Slav, and they're white.

Because Slobs were slaves. People of color had slaves in Africa. The movie they just made about the kingdom of... Did you watch Sound of Freedom? No, that sounded a little red pill to me. Come on, if we're talking about Barbie... Right. Well, I didn't see that either. You should watch Sound of Freedom. What is it? It's a movie about... Oh, I heard about it. About human trafficking. You know what? I mean, like...

And I don't mean this like to distort. Tell it. Come on. Okay. First of all, you really never saw Gilligan's Island? No, you're diverting. Wait. I diverted when we talked to Leah Thomas' parts. Did you ever see? No, you're diverting. We still haven't heard about that dick. You never saw Gilligan's Island? I have never seen Gilligan's Island. Wow.

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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Plugs that I always forget. August 19th, Ovens Auditorium, Charlotte, North Carolina. August 20th at the Township in Columbia, South Carolina. September 1st at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas. September 2nd, Texas Trust CU Theater in Grand Prairie, Texas. Now, I know you, or I don't know, but I think you voted for Trump.

The last election, correct. Okay. Not in 2016? Oh, you couldn't vote then? I was too young. And would you vote for him again? Depends on who's the Republican primary. Wow. Okay. Yeah, depending on, of course. So, you know, here's where we part company big time. But I've been preaching for years. You can hate Trump. You can't hate all the people who like him because it's half the country and some of them are lovely people like you.

And Trace Adkins is here after you. And I love him. And I'm guessing he voted for Trump. I'd be very surprised if he didn't. Now, of course, you know you're voting for someone who's a traitor and an insurrectionist who tried to overthrow the government. That's your business. You know, I just bring it up casually. But the point, what I'm getting at is like, I feel like this movie...

that you're talking about. Now, I could be wrong. I could be wrong about Barbie and any other movie I haven't seen, but it just feels like it would be kind of an eye roll to me in the other way. Like, I have no compunction about, as you just have seen the last 20 minutes, going after the woke when they're stupid, but I can't take that kind of, if it's about Christ

and family and getting all misty about old barns and lighthouses. None of that. And getting mad when football players kneel at a football game. You can shove that right up Ken's ass. I don't want that bullshit either. There's none of that. The only biblical things even quoted in this movie is the Bible verse talking about, you know, you're better off to put a millstone around your neck and...

drown in the lake than harm children. Of course. And they say God's children aren't for sale. So there's really not a lot of biblical. There's not a lot of exposing elites. I think you should watch it. I think you... So it's about harming children? Oh, yes. It's about...

human trafficking human trafficking which is a real thing and should be nonpartisan yes but i mean also i mean your crowd and i mean like q anon if you're in with them i don't know and again still love you but you know these are they believe that the democrats eat babies and are pedophiles and i don't think you can do both because pick one if you eat babies who are you gonna in five years you know that's so true it's so true okay you got to think these things through riley no

Have you ever been to Epstein's Island? Epstein's Island. I wish my life had been that exciting where I could have been to Epstein's Island. Maybe you're involved. No, no. They did say I was because they believe that people who wear red shoes, this is part of the QAnon thing, red shoes is like our symbol of

that you're a pedophile. And they got a picture of me, like in the 80s, I did have a pair of like, they were kind of burgundy, but I think they tweaked it a little. It looked like I was wearing red shoes and they were trying to say that. Look, that stuff is silly. And I have people all the time. I mean...

The right, one thing we do have a lot of is conspiracists, right? Like, I mean, it's... Glad you could admit that. No, there are some people who are so silly in what they say. I get accused all the time. You mess with the wacky weed? I don't. That's all... Is that a conservative thing or you just don't like pot? It's just all the years of swimming, my lungs... Right. And you're an athlete. I'm a bad influence. My bad. I'm sorry. You're just someone who goes to Jeffrey Epstein's Island. That was terrible of me. Anyways...

We don't mind if I do it. No. I get accused all the time. Okay, in college, where I went to University of Kentucky, right? We were the Wildcats. This was a symbol for Wildcat. And we did it all the time. Our basketball player. What is the symbol? It's this. Oh, the white supremacist symbol. So we have a lot of pictures doing this. I shouldn't even do it because it'll get clipped and whatever.

But it's a symbol we did at our university all of the time. And people will call me a white supremacist. They will say I've sold my soul to the devil. They will say I'm a part of this Illuminati. I'm like, y'all are crazy. One of the things I hate about what the left does, they just, they're not, liberals are about fixing things. These assholes are just about setting traps. Totally. You know what?

You can't have this. You know why? Because on my first Tonight Show, I got one of these from Johnny Carson. And you're not going to take away that memory. And I don't think Johnny was saying, let's go to the Klan meeting after Klan. So you've been to Jeffrey Epstein's island and you're part of the KKK. You have no idea what a good Johnny Carson impression that was. Because what are you, 23? 23. What a great age.

You're very mature for 23. You're very well-spoken. Are you going to pursue activism now that you threw your clit into the pool on this big issue? So I graduated with my degree in human health sciences and health law and had every intent upon graduation to go to dental school. From Georgia. Kentucky. Same thing, right? Jimmy Carter. Gilligan's Island. Yeah.

It's all the rest of us. Just the rest of us. I mean, yes. Had every intent on going to dental school. Actually, what I wanted to do was be an endodontist, which is someone who does root canals. What? Yeah, I know. Why? Why pick that? It's just always what I wanted to do. But why? I am...

You know, I knew I wanted to work in a position where you're helping other people, right? But I didn't want to be, I don't want to go to... But root canal. I know. I mean, next to proctology, it's like the least liked thing. Comedians literally use the term root canal, you know, to like mean the thing, you know, I'd rather have root canal and some malla that, you know. Well, maybe I just like to like...

inflict pain, honestly. How old were you when you came to this realization that you wanted to? I mean, I knew ever since high school, I mean, middle school, I knew I wanted to be a dentist. I didn't necessarily... A dentist? Yeah. And you're not even Jewish. Not even Jewish. That's astounding. Not even Jewish.

So, got my degree there. I had already put my deposit down, accepted my seat. I took the dental admissions test, which is the test to get into dental school. Scored in the top percentile, which was miserable. So you might be quizzing me on my history. I promise you. You know your teeth. I know my teeth. I'll bet you do. And I'll bet you know a lot more. So you don't have to go to medical school first?

No, dental school. It's its own thing. It's its own thing. How many years is it? Four. Four years. I bet you could learn it all in six months. Yeah. They just want money. This is like big karma. But in school. Don't get me started. Hey, we have an administration though. Maybe it'll be free. No loans. But

Higher education is such a scam in this country. They do. They charge you just because they want the money and to keep you around. Of course. And what they learn, if they learn anything. I mean, all they do now is turn out these America-hating, I hate to sound like one of you people, but it's so true. One of us people. It's just they have turned these kids into... I just read this story that like 70% of Gen Z, the question was,

Is America worse than ever or worse than 50 years ago? And I think most of them said it's either one or the other, maybe both for some of the questions. But definitely they thought it was worse than it was 50 years ago, which is just preposterous. I mean, it's just ignorant. You know, it's just ignorant. And the fact that the parents don't slap their little brats and say, you know what, could I tell you how things because that's what my upbringing was.

Maybe it was too much back then. It was a lot of, you know, oh, you're crying? I'll give you something to cry about. Why, when I was a kid, bread was a nickel, you know? There was a lot of that. We could use a little more of that. I agree. It's, yeah, we have, and this goes back to, you know, the movies and stuff we were just discussing, whether that's Barbie or Sound of Freedom. We've just lost this sense of masculinity, and we've deemed masculinity,

as toxic and bad and undesirable, but I think we need masculine men. Not in my hot tub, baby. There's nothing wrong with it there. Let me tell you, we do not demonize it.

We need masculine men. We need men. We need men to protect and provide, which is what we were. I mean, that's. Well, you sound you're a tough cookie. I don't think you need any men to protect and provide for you. Well, do you? I want a man to provide for me. Right. I mean, I mean, that's. You're married. I'm married. I've got a phenomenal husband. I'm very fortunate. But you don't need him.

You love them, but you don't need them. I think man and woman work hand in hand. Well, that's different, but you don't need. Need is different. Okay. Maybe I won't say need, right? I mean, I don't need a man to provide and protect, but I do believe that we complement each other, man and woman, in that way to where women typically, again, I'm not

The purpose of a man is to love a woman. The purpose of a woman is to love a man. That was an old song called The Game of Love. Anyways, we've lost masculinity. And speaking of higher education, especially the Ivy Leagues, right? I mean, these are supposed to be prestigious schools. Listen, you would die. I went to one.

But it's a lot different today. Where did you go? Cornell. Oh, you would die if you knew. I would die. They won't even call. I wouldn't die. I'd kill. I would kill. I would strangle people. It would just, I know, it would just be. It's your masculinity coming out. It's just my reality coming out. We, at University of Pennsylvania, which is where Thomas went, they won't even refer to freshmen as freshmen because it's gender exclusive to women. Right.

They now say first years. I mean, it's crazy. That's my thing. I said it once on my show. When you're doing stuff that sounds like it's in the onion...

Stop. When you're doing stuff that sounds like a guy is parodying you, making fun of you, like this Atlantic article, it reads like something that is a joke, and they're not joking. And again, I've got to go back to bad parenting. I just think this is all because parents...

Just treat their kids like little geniuses not all parents But a certain type of parent the kind that sends their kids to Ivy League colleges your parents spoiler alert Not my parents. Oh not my parents were in World War two, baby And that's the last time we had strong men. That's well think about this think about this. I

1940s, World War II, we, men, men lied about their age to enlist. And now, in 2023, we have men lying about their sex to get into women's sports or women's prisons or domestic shelters or sororities or bathrooms, locker rooms. I mean, it's crazy if you think about it. Everything's upside down. But here's my, here's where there's hope, though, because it's incredibly interesting. You can see this play out throughout history and it's strong men

Or hard men. Oh, my gosh. Hard men. I think I'm like those few. It's a Freudian. No, hard times create strong men. It's a Freudian slip. We all do it. Hard men. Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times. And it really is interesting because you can see this play out throughout history. What creates hard ons? Because that's really where my interest lies. I said hard men. I'm like, hard men create strong times. No, no.

I don't have to get in the pool for that, do I? But we're in this part of the process now. And the last time we had strongmen was in the 1940s. And so we're in the part of the process now where weak men have created hard times. But we can only hope that these hard times garner strongmen again. And I'm certain they will because, again, we've seen it play out throughout history. Oh, we still have strongmen. Yes, we do. But we don't have a society full of them. No, they're mostly in the military.

certainly. That's where they tend to go. But again, go back to the World War II when we had men literally lying to get into that position. They would give their life for this country. Just as you mentioned, we don't have... We had lots of people with that same spirit. I don't know if they literally lied, but right after 9-11. Right. I mean, you know who Pat Tillman is? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Pat Tillman, great example. Atheist, by the way. They tried to present him as some

big conservative icon, but he actually was more like one of mine. And he... What is one of yours? What are you? I'm a unicorn. I'm not... I don't have a team. That's it. Fair enough. Yeah. But, I mean, I don't know. You know,

My heart is usually with the Democrats, but then they just have become so different than, like I keep saying, traditional liberals, so they just make it hard. And what do you think? But it's not a hard choice when the other side does not believe in democracy and is in love with the psychosothiopath that you like. But, you know, again, that's your deal. Okay, so who did you vote for last election? Biden. Biden.

There was two choices. Who do you think I voted for? I guess. I voted for the sane guy. Imperfect, but not a... Okay, so this next election. Insane psychopath. Yes, that was my crazy choice. The one who accepts the outcome of elections. That's the one I voted for. Okay, that is...

A major downfall of Trump's. When you talk about masculinity, what could be less masculine than not accepting defeat? Just being a little fucking pouty sore loser who can't say, yeah, you know what? You don't win them all. Trump is not who. Sometimes you lose them. You don't win them all. But as a man, I just own up to that and say, you know what? I'll get them next time instead of just lying and pretending you won something you didn't at the expense of the country. You still like him? Really? Here.

Trump is not who I have endorsed for president in 2024, first of all. Okay. I'll take that small victory. He has had a lot of his true colors shine, I think, in terms of... And again, I do still like Trump. That was like a courtroom drama with a lawyer trying to get them to break down on the stand. I do still like Trump. And you were there that night. And by golly, I would vote for Trump over Biden. And if we're... You would.

Trump over Biden. Donald Trump. Donald J. Trump over Joe Biden. How do you think he'd do in the pool? He's got a body like a melting porta potty. I saw a picture of Biden today at the beach and the same could be said. Yeah. No, I mean. I could take a vote. We could have a relay. Me, you, Trump, Biden. Biden's not fat.

Biden has a... He's old, so I don't think Biden is necessarily fat. He's not. No, he's got a very... I could... Very... If you didn't see how old he was... So you went to Epstein's Island with Biden. That's what you did. Oh, that's a bunch of malarkey. Oh, wait, that was a sex act we got involved in, malarkey. Oh, yeah, that was kind of fun. Anyway, you need a monkey and a parrot, but I digress. Yeah.

Well, look, I think these kind of... Okay, so wait, you never answer. Next election. Biden. Over every other candidate who's running. Well, unless there's a... Well, no. I mean, it's possible Trump is not the nominee, although it's in the paper today. He's ahead by 37 points.

You know, he's got a rape trial he just finished. He's got a porn star hush money trial. He's got a I tried to ask somebody for 11,000 votes in Georgia trial. He's got a tried to overthrow the government trial. I mean, even if you're a big fan, I got to say that's a lot of trials. OK, but but do you not sense any sort of corruption in terms of how they're indicting Trump?

and not Biden. Well, everything he's ever been up for, the two impeachments and all these trials, he absolutely did it. Everything you could think that he did, whether it was smart to actually go through with an indictment,

Presidents do shit while they're in office, not as bad as him. And with the general rule has been once they leave office, we can't get into that place that other third world countries have where as soon as the guy leaves office, now he's a criminal because who's going to want the job? So you think the Democrats are scared of him?

Scared of who? Donald Trump. I'm scared of him. What do you mean? You're Trump-phobic. We're all scared. It's phobic. No, phobic. When you say phobic, it means it's an irrational fear. My fear is very rational. He's a psychopath who won't concede elections. Again, you're a real man. Okay, so do you believe the election was entirely... Let me ask you something. Have you ever lost a race where you lost the race and you knew you lost, not to someone with a penis, you lost a legitimate race and you got out of the pool and went...

This is rigged. I won this race. People know it. A lot of people are saying it. And I won the race. I think everybody knows that. It was rigged. Would you do that? You're pretty good at impressions. I'm really not. No, I would never do that, which is one of his downfalls, right? And we've seen, I mean, that whole thing needs to be dropped. But do you believe the election was entirely rigged?

Not only do I, it's not a belief. It has been vetted by Republicans, by every secretary of state. It went to the courts. It went through every organ of government. There was not a shred of evidence. So you think the state of Pennsylvania-

Really nominated. You know what? Let's not get into the weeds on the 2020 election. No, no. The midterms now. Oh, the midterms. Okay. Fetterman. Fetterman, yes. You think? No. Should be a senator? No. No, no. I don't even think. He's not up to it. No. Of course. Okay, so what? No, no, but I'm saying I don't, like, the hope in my heart is,

is that people in Pennsylvania, I mean, I can't believe that that election was not rigged in some capacity. Okay, but the stakes are not comparable. This is Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania doesn't negotiate with Putin, okay? The other thing is America, the whole country and the presidency. So yeah, John Fetterman shouldn't be the senator, and it has nothing to do with this other giant elephant in the room, Trump.

called Not Believing in Democracy. But it does when it relays how it pertains to election integrity. And I don't think we as a country are...

The only election integrity problem is Trump saying the election was rigged. Your own Republicans in all these states are the ones who certified these elections. People with integrity, enough integrity. One reason I still believe that there should be a vibrant Republican Party, because there still is that rump version of it where these guys stand up and say, yeah, I wanted Trump to win. I'm a Republican. I voted for him. But we counted the shit three times. He lost.

Take it like a man. I think that's very fair. Take it like a man. Look, what I've been fighting for this past year is integrity in any capacity of whatever that looks like. And so if we have deemed everything... It's not an issue on the other side. That was one of... 2020 was one of the most safest... It's not an issue on the other side because they're the ones who are cheating. ...vetted and efficient elections we've ever had. This has been... Maricopa County. Even Trump's own commission. They, you know...

It's it's just not an issue to cling to this. It's just sorely. Look, I'm not clinging to it You are clinging to it. I'm you're clinging to the idea that maybe the 2020 election just maybe there's no maybe in there There's maybe an almost anything out. There's just no baby. I'm referring to is the midterm elections in 2022 Well, what happened there? Oh my gosh in Arizona and Georgia and Pennsylvania. What happened? States what happened?

Nothing. Nothing. We don't, we, both sides have this, the monitors, both sides are all eyes on this all the time. And the people who do these elections are generally not trying to hide anything or fake anybody. It's one of the last things. We're actually doing okay in this country. We actually are counting the votes because they know there's so much eyes on them.

But when you control the eyes, you don't care to be corrupt. But they don't control the eyes. There's more Republican state legislatures that control elections than there are Democrat. Yes, we shouldn't have elections run statewide. That's true because it varies from state to state. It should be national. But you know what? That's our system.

And each side gets to look at what the other side is doing. They do recounts. They have checks and balances. Is it going to ever be perfect? No. But people accept elections, especially ones that are run this efficiently. You're just clinging to something that is so...

to whatever is going to solve our problems in this country. It's not going to be solved because people are cheating at elections. Your side tries very hard to stop certain types of people from voting, but even they do it through sort of legal means. Oh, we pass a law. There's only one ballot box now in Houston County. It's for two million people. Whoa, okay. You know, but at least they're doing it on the up and up. But this just theorizing that these elections were...

We just can't believe that they're real. I'm clinging to nothing. That being said, I think we do have to be realistic about what is actually happening because if we're not, that's how we got here where we're at right now with men undressing in our locker rooms.

Wow. That's quite a... I'm just saying you have to be... I need the red string on the drawing board to see how that connects those two dots. No, I know what you mean. You have to be a realist about things. And if you're not and you don't hold people accountable on either side, it's how we get here. And we allow the minority to control the entire public square. I think where Trump and the locker room are connected is that there's a lot of

normal, reasonable, common sense people. I agree. Who see the penis in the locker room, in the girls' locker room, and they say to themselves, you know, I don't really like this Donald Trump guy at all, but I'm going to vote for him because he seems to be the only thing that stands between that kind of insanity and...

And look, I think his kind of insanity is worth, I do, but I totally get the Trump voter. I totally get the person who says, I don't like him either, but he is a bulwark.

He's a bulwark. He's not afraid to call out crazy. And this is what DeSantis has been trying to do. Like DeSantis' whole campaign is predicated on this. I'm going to be the anti-woke bully. Like I'm going to win there. I'm just going to fucking punch every woke thing right in the nuts as soon as I walk in the room.

And he just doesn't do it like Trump. He's not Trump. Trump is, as my friend always says, insanity photographs. He's insane, but it makes him a star. Insanity makes people stars. And he's just a star. He's 37 points ahead. You do not have to worry about your boyfriend getting a nomination. He is going to, you're going to- He's not even who I've endorsed for president in this cycle. You're going to get him. So if you want to vote for him, you're going to get your opportunity.

Phenomenal. Yeah. I think I'm the least qualified person to talk about. And it's going to be Biden and him again. Because the Democrats are going to nominate Biden. Everyone's too scared of a wild card who can't win. And this guy has won. And Trump has won. The H-1 won. It's like Ali Frazier 3. You know, the H-1 won. And now we've got to go to Manila and bash each other's brains in. Well. Well.

i mean it'll be interesting to see i do believe i'm the least qualified person you are not the least qualified person you're very smart that's why i'm trying to talk you out of trump but look i also when the alternative is biden no i i also well again biden do i love everything no but you know it just doesn't compare he's just a normal guy

I agree. One of the things I hate the most about Biden is that he never stands up to woke nonsense in his party. And I think he's like a lot of guys that age. He doesn't even understand it. What, the gals are boys now? Wait, a gal can just take the vagina?

But he also doesn't want to fight that wing of his party. He knows that's where a lot of the energy is in the party. So he's like that husband who, you know, he doesn't understand what the kids are into, but he doesn't want to fight about it. So when the wife comes in and says, honey, the kids want to cut their dick off and tear down a statue of Lincoln. Is that okay? He's like, all right, I'm trying to watch the game. Yeah.

So I agree. It's not a great choice. But to me, it's not a hard choice. But what I love is that this country is like 50-50. We have to be able to be complete friends with somebody who we can't convince to be on our side. And that's where... And it's cool. That's totally... I love you no less.

Because you like Trump. And I love you no less because you've been to Epstein's Island. And let me tell you, I was there with Gilligan and the Skipper. And all the rest. It was a three-hour tour. The fact that it landed on this island was a huge upgrade from the island that Gilligan originally landed on. That's the thing. And Marianne, oh, well, she was immediately sold into slavery, sex slavery. Yeah, that's kind of a downside to the trip. But that's what he was, Jeffrey Epstein. And here we are.

No, I mean, I always thought that when that scandal broke about Epstein, which is real,

It was unfortunate for the people who had been trying to convince the QAnon people that the pedophile stuff was just a conspiracy theory. It is mostly a conspiracy theory. Democrats are not baby eaters or pedophiles by nature. But the fact that this guy, with a lot of Democratic connections and those kind of people, Bill Clinton was on the island and Dershowitz and Bill Gates, it just...

You know, it just looked bad that, okay, wait, there is a pedophile ring? Wait a minute. Wait, so do you think Epstein killed himself? It's so interesting, you know, when a guy goes to prison who's a child molester, they always say...

He's not going to last because the other prisoners killed the child molesters. Which, by the way, I love that about prisoners. I think that is so charming that they have standards like that. But, okay. But I do...

Yes, I think he killed himself. I think usually in situations like this, the simplest explanation is the truest. And the simplest one is that guards in places like prisons paid minimum wage and don't want to be there. They don't do their job.

So the idea that he was watched every no he wasn't he was supposed to be watched and they were fucking jerking off to Pornhub in the break room and Yeah, and if I was Jeffrey Epstein, I would have killed myself too I mean to go from his life to go from Sex Island to Rikers Island Hey, there's a There's a country song for you interesting

Yeah. Who knows? But you were there, so you might know. If anyone does, it's you. That's true. Let's talk about Katie Porter. Oh, why? I have beef. Oh, that's right. She was on my show talking about you. Yeah. Is that it? And so I think it's only fair that I come on your podcast. Absolutely. And talk about her. Yeah. And I actually don't even have anything to say about her because it's not worth it.

Don't want to towards coming out of my mouth Katie and I were not giant mutual fans so I we can speak freely here I mean, you know, I wish her well, but the first time she was on my show she was I thought very Insulting and condescending to me personally like she was she's very personal. I mean she like knows how to get a laugh and

Or she did that night and so but I had her back, you know, I don't hold grudges and that's like, you know It's a free-flowing debate show people don't know exactly where the boundaries are. I've crossed the boundaries sometimes Yeah, so but when she was on this last time and she's been on a few times since when she was on this last time Yes, I thought she did not acquit herself very well because I thought she walked into some traps that made her look silly and

Yeah, it wasn't a good look because... But remind me what happened. So I remember only that. She... Who was she on with? So you and Piers Morgan. Piers Morgan was the... Okay. And so we're talking about this whole debate in sports. Right. And so Piers, you know, back and forth. Basically, Katie then says, you know...

This Riley Gaines girl, you and peers are like, oh, Riley's so brave. Thanks, by the way. Riley's so brave, you know, she's single-handedly fighting for women. Right. Essentially in terms of, you know, there's not a lot of present athletes, especially professional athletes, who have taken a stand against this. And so then Katie goes on to say, you know, well, I disagree with everything Riley's doing. To which you guys press back, you know, what is it you disagree with?

She she can't she doesn't actually have anything she disagrees with but she says, you know I just think she's doing this for clicks and likes, but she's doing it because she knows when you're in the Democratic Party You have to say that there's like that's what our problem with our politics is I have to that's why you got no votes right in this thing because you have to like choose one side and these

Issues are not simple like that and you can't just say the truth. You have to set down your marker down Okay, this is where the is what the party says our position is so yes I'm with this and then when you have to like make an argument you got nothing because there is none because there is no I'm doing anything For clicks and likes is the most disingenuous thing I've ever heard and also it's same thing. She did to me. It's personal and

It's making it personal in a way that you... No, because you can't dissuade from what I'm actually advocating for. Correct. But anyways, went on to say, you know, whatever, and...

But right, either before or after that, I can't remember, was talking about how brave Dylan Mulvaney is. And I'm like, if you're going to say I'm doing this for clicks and likes, can we at least acknowledge that Dylan Mulvaney, you know who that is? Of course. Can we at least acknowledge that Dylan Mulvaney is doing this for clicks and likes if I am? I mean, it was the silliest thing ever. And so. But I find her adorable.

I do. I'm not usually down with this kind of stuff. I will say. There's just something, she's just so happy to be there. I thought you meant Katie Porter at first when you said she. No, no, Dylan Mulvaney. You find Katie Porter adorable? No, no, I don't. Okay, no. Dylan Mulvaney, I do. I find her adorable. And I think it's so sad that like,

Okay, you guys can't have Bud Light and we can't have Chick-fil-A. You know what? Fuck all of you. I will make fucking beer can chicken with Chick-fil-A in a fucking Bud Light can if I want. This whole country is so fucking annoying. Okay, but do you think Dylan is qualified to talk on, charge his speaking fee for speaking on women's empowerment is $40,000?

Do you think Dylan Mulvaney is qualified to speak on women's empowerment for $40,000? No. Answer that. No. While you might think he's adorable, can he speak on women's empowerment? Women's empowerment. I mean, it's such a person. What it means to different women. To some women, empowerment. I mean, there are women who will say they're wearing the burqa

And they're like, this is my way of being empowered. In any way, Dylan Mulvaney is talking about it. Do you think he's qualified to talk about it? In any way. It could be about a burka. It could be about wearing a tutu. But sweetheart, if you're going to start making a list of people who get to talk about something without being qualified for it, you're going to be here for a very long time.

No. I mean, very few people are qualified. This country is past that point where we care about who's qualified. Clearly. Yeah, clearly. Considering... Yeah, clearly. I don't... Katie Porter, I'm getting back to this. Anyways, I saw this clip. I watched your show. I watched this.

I saw it and I thought if I ever see her I'm addressing this naturally like right she can say this on a screen but I actually want to know what she disagrees with me on she just made this claim she disagrees with me so I was in D.C.

I see Katie Porter across the way. What? I see her. Like in person? In person. Oh, wow. And so we make eye contact. Were you stalking her at the Capitol? I was stalking her. No. Where'd you see her? I was in D.C. I do a lot of work in... Like on the street? Walking into the Senate building. Really? Oh, I see. Because you were testifying. Yeah. Or maybe the congressional building. I don't remember. But I see her and we make eye contact. And I'm like...

Bill Maher, Piers Morgan. I have to say something. We make eye contact. She puts her phone up to her ear like she's on the phone and she turns and I know the strategy. I'm like, I'll just wait for her. So she tries to turn and walk away. And so I'm like weirdly lingering. It's like uncomfortable, but I'm like, I still have to say something. Anyways, she has to get into the building. That's where she's going. And so I'm like waiting outside the door. And so finally she puts her phone down and I walk up to her and I'm like, Katie,

It's so nice to meet you. My name is Riley Gaines. And she said, oh, I know who you are. The only thing she could say, I thought this was so weird. She said, congrats on being...

a competitor and walked away. I'm like, did she just call me a competitor? That's really bizarre. And so turned and very quickly tried to walk away, but I wasn't done. Politicians. A competitor? I'm like, what a weird thing to congratulate me on. I guess having that job makes you into an asshole like that. It must. It's not just her. It's just, yeah, they're just always having to find a way to diffuse something that they could use against me and...

I mean, I don't blame them all for it, but Jesus, I mean, I would rather fucking do root canal. Anyway. Me too. I have to kiss you off because Trace Adkins is here. Amazing. I really enjoyed this. I always enjoy it when I'm with some guests who, like, we have fundamental disagreements, but we still have nothing but love, right? Love.

I'm rooting for you. You should be doing your thing. Absolutely. And I don't mean dentistry. I mean swimming without eyebrows.