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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Mike, I have to ask you the question the whole world wants to know. Why are you flying on JetBlue? My wife says the same thing. And you said it was your favorite airline. I was just about to ask you why is it your favorite airline? My wife says the same thing. What are they doing on JetBlue?
I love JetBlue. I don't know why I got the television. Stevie Wonder used to love the Holiday Inn. You know why? Why? Because everything was in the same place. Well, maybe I just love JetBlue. It's comfortable. Yeah, I don't fly in it. I love it. See, that's why you... My wife is like, she wants me always in a private place. My wife says, why don't you just... She has to carry it. She can't fathom it. You sound like one tiger.
and you could probably just fly whatever airline you want. I know. You got rid of the Tigers. You had Tigers, though, right? Yeah, I had Tigers. I had a bunch of Cougars. Yeah, that's wrong. I'm an animal lover.
Absolutely, 100%. 100%, but you had tigers in captivity. That can't be good for the tiger. No, no, they weren't in captivity. They slept in my bed with me. What are you talking about? Ha, ha, ha!
I got 500 pounds in the bed with me, man. What are you talking about? I got them in caves. Well, I mean, you're right. I've always thought about animals. Have you ever smelled a tiger fart? No. You got to evacuate. I would have had, what, 15,000 square feet? I got to evacuate. You got to open up everything, call people to blow everything out. Seriously? Y'all, I mean, it's the worst thing in the world. Because the level of it or the extreme stench of it? Both. Both.
Well, you can't, nothing you can't. Well, what were you feeding the tiger that it was farting so badly? Horse meat. Horse meat? Is that what they eat? Yeah, they love horse meat and chicken. Oh, so you killed horses and kept tigers. Hey, stop. I've never killed a horse in my life. Well, where'd you get the meat? I paid for it, but listen. Somebody killed it.
Yes, yes. They're the horses that they send to, what do you call them? The glue factory? The glue factory, yeah. Those guys, they can't do anything. Mike, where do you stand on horse fighting as a legalized sport? Horse fighting? I'm just making... Horse fighting. I'm just fucking with you. Horses do fight. Remember that horse bit that other horse's ear? No.
He did a Mike Tyson. I was going to say. The other horse was winning. He was mad. He bit it in the air trying to pull him back. But see, I love this that you love JetBlue because I always thought of you as like the people's champ. You know, I mean, when you first of all, people call you champ and they should because champ is like when you're president, they call you president even after you're right over. Senator, governor, there was a guy's out of over 20 years, governor. And you always will be champ.
But I learned something with my last experience. I'm on the plane. I learned I don't belong to me. Too many people worry. You just learned that? Yes. My right hand is gone. Mike, you've been famous. No, but listen. I never know that my actions affect so many people. They worry. No, they inspire people, though.
A lot of your actions have inspired people. But just the fact that people worry. They see the incident and they just worry. But Mike, your Broadway show, which I saw on TV, but I don't live near Broadway. It's fantastic. And it inspired people. I'd like to continue. You don't know that? You must know that about your life. Or else you wouldn't have done that show. Sometimes that's my selfishness and not ego's.
What is your selfishness? Just wanting to succeed and be happy. But hey, I want to keep myself to me. Well, that's not selfish. That's whatever you all want.
I mean, you have some obligation, I think. I have to realize that I don't belong to me anymore. You never did since you were 20 because you were the champ. I didn't understand that until now. Like when I got into that instance, so many people called it was really, and I'm like, oh. That one douchebag on JetBlue did that after 30 fucking years of being in the spotlight? Anyway, I just want to tell you.
You really are. When I see people with you, because the reaction is overwhelmingly in your favor, you are like the people's champ. Remember they called Lady Diana the people's princess? You're like her, but with fighting. But what am I going to do on a private plane? What are you going to do on a private plane? You're going to jerk off if you want. Exactly. But listen, it's only me and people I know. I
I'm like one of those guys, I have to be seen. I have to be around the people. Oh, is that right? Yeah, I'm one of those guys. Is he like that? Yeah. It's a great documentary. I can't be isolated. Mike, you've got to see that HBO did a documentary about Bird and Magic, like when they were playing against, you know, the 80s.
It's fantastic because they're such opposite personalities, but they came to quite love each other. Earth badass, though. Yes, he is. He's a serious guy. He didn't want the spotlight, legitimately. And Magic only wanted the spotlight. And he talks about when they were in Barcelona at the 92 Olympics, remember the first dream team, basketball team? And he said, we were in the hotel, we were getting mobbed. There was a side door you could go out that they told us and no one would bother you.
But Magic didn't want to use the side door. You know, that's who he was. And that's great. But you don't you're not obligated to do that. They don't own you. They own your work because you put it out in public and shared it. They don't own you. You know, your family owns you. My mind is just my mind. My mentality is JetBlue.
Does that make sense? And apparently your travel plans also include JetBlue. No, I mean, best of luck, Mike. I have not flown commercial like practically in this century. The second I could get off. Of course. And I used to hide it because I thought, oh, it makes me look terrible with the environment. You know what?
I always say it, but the kids, they have to care about the environment more than me because it's their planet they're inheriting, and they don't. They worship Kylie Jenner, who never does anything but flies on a private plane. So when Kylie gives up the plane, I'll give up mine. How about that? You have a drink? Do you drink? Yeah, some water. Oh, my God. You have a bag of... Jesus. How's the business going? How's the pot business? You love it? Hey, listen, right? It gave me a new life.
You love it. Yeah. Yeah. I notice you don't keep that lip, though. No. My friends, they play football in pads, man. You're totally enjoying it. Yeah. But so how do you go into an office every day with the pot business? Are you CEO Mike and you sit at the big desk and you're like...
And you and you and you and Jenkins, how does Vice President Jenkins sound? If we can get quarterly numbers up. I'm hands on. Listen, I don't look at, I am. I don't look at myself as a boardroom guy, but I am. Right. On paper. But that's not, I have to be in the streets with the people. That's how I'm effective. I'm not effective in the room. Right. And also it's wasting the great ambassador for the product.
Exactly. I'm a... I'm a strict guy. I expect to work. I'm a worker. Yes, you are. And what do you... Like, when people say, what has it done for you? Like, what is your testimonial? What is your love letter to marijuana that has made you want to actually be in business with it? Hey, listen, you know what? You can just... I don't even have to go through a big discussion about a dissertation. You can just ask my family...
am I a better guy with it or without it? And they would tell you 100% with it. I'm with it. Oh, man. I'm definitely with it. I am like, oh, I never knew that I'm a moody guy.
You know, I thought I was a great guy and stuff. I never knew how moody I was. You didn't know you were famous and you didn't know you were moody. Well, I never knew. Mike! Well, I always knew I was famous, but I didn't know to that effect. My selfishness is like, I want to love this. I want to be into this. I had no idea. Well, you know what? When you're the heavyweight champion of the world, even if you're a non-charismatic guy, you're very famous. But when you're charismatic like you are, you know, when you have that...
You know, X Factor, you could also like, you know, you did your turn in The Hangover. But, you know, you could be in movies. You know, you could fucking do what The Rock does if you wanted to. Probably do it better. You know, you got, not that he's not good, but, you know. And I am going to do that stuff. We're getting ready to do. You are? Oh, yeah. We're getting ready to do my life story. We're going to do this without anybody. We're going to put our own money out. We're just going to do this stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, you look great, by the way. You really grew into your, what are you, 50? 55. 50, double nickel. Yes. No, you look, the tattoo has grown in nicely in age, I feel. You know, I never thought by doing this, I never knew I would live to see so many other people with it. I know, exactly. I know.
Right, when you did it, it was very, very... You had to have been a hell of an angel. Right. In a prison. Outra, it was very out there to do that. And you're right, tattoos, you know, they are moving like a fungus up the body. And they're on the neck, and now they're on the face, and they're kind of taking over, I feel. You know, listen, you think about it, 2,000 years ago,
All of our ancestors were all tattooed up. They were? Yeah, absolutely. I'm not sure we had the same ancestors 2,000 years ago. No, what was those guys that the Romans would always try to golic? They were all tattooed up.
The Romans did what to you? Conquered? No, but they crossed the Rhine and they conquered. Yes, right. Well, they crossed the Rhine, but then. It was Caesar. It was Julius Caesar. Julius Caesar conquered Gaul. Yeah, that was Gaul. And he fought Jason Dreddrix, the guys who they conquered this from. Well, actually. Dreddrix, Dreddrix. Jason Dreddrix. Who is he? Dreddrix is the leader of Gaul that fought Julius Caesar.
Oh, I don't know that name. What is his name? Ketrick. You sure we're... I'm absolutely positive. Okay. Okay, so he fought Julius Caesar, but Julius Caesar died, and then they tried to go on... The other side of France, Gaul, is Germany. They never got to do... The Roman Empire was halted... 9 AD. 9 AD, the Battle of the Hürttemberg Forest, right? Because that's where Hermann the German...
defeated, I think it's Valer... Valens. Valens, correct. The Roman emperor. That's as far as they got because when they got into Germany, they found the tribes were super tribal. But they got... In order to do that, they were a warring tribe, but they all... Yeah, bonded together. They got unified, yeah. Yes. Only way they can do it. And the guy who was... Who defeated him...
that Herman the German guy, he had been taken in by the Romans and raised... Yeah, all those guys, the Romans come and they take all the kids and they raise them and they enslave them and they use them in the army. So this is a passion of yours, history, obviously. You obviously read history.
I just know it. Well, you must have read it somewhere. Yeah, I used to always read about boxing history. And then it went right from the beginning. And then it got involved with gladiators, slaves. Right. That led you to Rome. Yeah, it got really interesting. All roads lead to Rome. Exactly. And do you know there was gladiators that won their freedom tents 20 times, but they just couldn't stop the adrenaline?
You mean they wanted to, they could have left, but they won their freedom. Yeah. So many times. Boy. But they couldn't, the addiction of the people, they were like fighters today. It was celebrities. Gladys was celebrities. Athletes still always say that, you know, I did it for the game. Oh, fuck you. I think you did it for the game. You did it for you. You, you know, I gave everything to the game. Yeah. Nothing. This is what I found out. Nothing's bigger than the game. The game is a platform for everybody. Yeah.
Again, but see, your platform is really primus inter pares. There's a lot of things, but something very primal about going into a ring with another man and punching each other in the head is like it puts it above as far as interest level. It gets to it in a very deep way.
And it's very clear who the winner is. But the fighters look, how can I outsmart this guy? It's not ever what it appears to be. It looks like two guys kill each other. But the whole objective is how do I outsmart this guy? You think that's, it's always about outsmarting. That's how you. Listen, when you're young and you're a kid, you win because you're stronger. But when you're at the top of the game, you only win because you're smarter. Right. Right.
But you have to be smart at the beginning, too, I would guess. Absolutely. But it's from experience. But I'm talking about at the top of the game. Right. Being number one is only because you're smarter. Right. I'm sure. But weren't you the one who said, everybody has a plan until they get hit? Absolutely. Now, that's a great quote. Absolutely. Everybody has. Absolutely. And see, here's... Even with me. With everybody in life in general, we have to realize that...
Things can happen. What's that happen? Shit happens. Shit happens. If it could happen, it would happen. But here's my guess about you. Like, now I know, is it Jake Paul wants to fight you? Yeah, I'm going to call him sometime Friday and we're going to talk. And would you consider actually doing that? Absolutely. You don't worry about fighting at your age, at 55? No.
Check this out. We were talking about Julius Caesar, weren't we? Yeah. He's the one that raised, he said, 365 days of the year. So before he was born, how did we tell our age? Is this a riddle? No, no, but really, Julius Caesar told us 365 days of the year. But before he was born, how did we tell our age? By when the sun came back. No, how do you know that?
Because that's, you know, that's why we have like Christmas. Do you know why Christmas is December 25th? Why is that? Because the soul was born. That's when Jesus was born, I believe. Well, that's when they said Jesus was born.
Okay, even if he even existed as a historical figure, which we don't know. But the reason why Jesus... Jesus? Yes. So you don't believe in Jesus? I'm a Muslim, but you don't believe in Jesus? I do not. I'm not atheist. But also... Oh, I don't know what I wanted to say to you. What? I'm saying I've read about all the greatest conquerors in the world, and they conquered the world, and they still sinned. They said, God, there's still something greater than me.
Well, when they got defeated, they said that. No, no, no. They defeated them. They conquered the world. Right. And they said, God, there's still something greater than me. Why? What would it be if they conquered the world? That feeling that it's not, I'm
Not enough? Yeah, no, it's that feeling that there's something greater than me. It's just, you have to believe in something greater than you. Well, I feel like if you're at the point where you've conquered the world, then your ego's in a place where you're not saying there's something greater than me. And they did, many conquerors did set themselves up as gods on earth. So they thought they were God. You know when they said there's something greater than me? When they got their ass kicked. Yeah.
Seriously, that's what I'm saying. Like, did you ever see Alexander the Great, the movie? I know everything about Alexander from what there is to know about him. Okay, well, I know a lot about it from Oliver Stone's movie. I'm sure I learned it in college, too, but his was much more interesting, and Rosario Dawson was really great in it. Yes.
And Angelina Jolie. He was scared of his mother. Yes, Angelina Jolie. That's why he never went back. He was scared to go back. His men wanted him to go back. He was scared of his mother. He kept in touch with his mother. He was just a momless boy. Yes, that's how they portray it in the movie, that they almost had an incestuous relationship. No, she was just one of those first stage mothers. Napoleon's mother was the same way. They were afraid of their mothers and stuff.
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Well, yes. I mean, certainly sexuality in Roman times was quite different. I mean, like the way we talk about straight and gay and now, of course, straight. In Roman, they do it right in the street. Everything right in the middle of the street. Right now, everybody's screwing, they're slaying, they're shitting in the street. Everything right there. Yeah.
Everything is in the street. That's why you say you're a man of the street. It's disgusting. It's just a mess. The road is a mess. The road is a mess. It's a mess. Yes. I need you to go over there. I need you to go. It's tough when you're trying to get a paper.
Yeah. But when I was young, I'm a big, I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm a big fan of love letters, so I read some of the love letters from like before the beginning of time. Like Plato had some love letters. I read some of his love letters. Whose love letters? Plato. Oh, Plato. Well, that's Greek. Yeah, but from the history of the world, the greatest love letters. And so, you know, you read these letters. Well, I mean, Greek, the love letters could have been to a boy. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Well, not that that's wrong, but I'm just saying they had a, you know, the pederast that
That was a big thing back then, someone who took an interest in what today we would certainly say is an inappropriate age. You know, that's what gladiators really are. They were just fuckboys. They fought, but they were fuckboys. You know what I mean? They get sexually abused all the time. The gods fucked them all the time. But, you know, they'd kill you, but that's what they were. They were slaves. Yeah. Sex boys. Well, and after they had sex with the women, you know what they said? Gladiator. Gladiator.
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So Caesar gets stabbed in 44 B.C. Yes. Right? He crossed the Rhine. The Rhine. He crossed the Rubicon. He made himself governor for life. Yes. What was it for life? Like Grand Poobah, you know, with a big cheese, whatever it was, dictator. I mean, this is the theme in many countries. And by the way, it's the theme they ripped off for the end wisely because it's a great story. But it was the end. If you ever watch Game of Thrones.
Game of Thrones. We loved the Game of Thrones. You did? Okay, well, what is the end? What is the plot point? It's the Julius Caesar plot point. In other words, the blonde girl who's like, she's benevolent sort of, and then she becomes a dictator and they got to kill her. She's a bad chick though, right? She was a bad chick. But she took a knife in the belly the same way J.C. did. Yeah, she had to go. She...
She had to go because she turned... Too powerful. Exactly. That's the Caesar story. She was just a humble girl taking a bath in the sex room. Right. Right in the throat. And she's conquered everything. She's got dragons. Right. You have flying dragons. No, she let the dragons go to her head. Yeah. Yeah. And she's the girl with the dragon tattoo. Toxicating. What? Toxicating. Power. Power, exactly. So...
Anyway, the Romans, sexually though, they and the Greeks, but especially the Romans, they didn't have this, you know, oh, you're gay, you're straight. It was like, you're cute. You know, I mean, like Mark Antony, very macho guy, right? Who part of the cabal that succeeded Caesar, right? Right.
I mean, he had, you know, the wife, and then he had the, you know, the concubine kind of mistresses, and then he had, like, 13-year-old boys. It was a very common thing. I don't want to say, but, you know, because people say, what the fuck, do you know homosexuals conquered the world? Homosexuals have? Yeah. I know they conquered West Hollywood. No, forget that. I'm talking about warriors gladiators. They conquered the ancient world. What do you mean? You're saying most of the world...
Conquering the world. Who's tribe? The Greeks. The Romans or somebody. When they were gay? Yeah, they were homosexuals and they conquered the world. See, you're saying they're homosexuals and what I'm saying is
There wasn't this concept back then that that was homosexuality. No, listen. Right? Americans are the only phobic people in the world. That's ridiculous. There's many homophobic people. Not like this place. Are you kidding? Not like America. Come on. What? Every Muslim country in the world, you get thrown off of a roof. Well, that's some extreme stuff. That's extreme. That's extreme stuff. It's extreme stuff that a lot of people...
As a Muslim myself, I know this. Everybody is worthy of the mercy of God. I don't care what you did. I don't think you have to be Muslim to believe that. No, no, but that's what I believe. I am good. It's a good thing to believe. But that's not what we're talking about. I don't believe nobody should kill someone else. Okay, but I've got to correct the record about, like,
or homosexuality is very much alive in the world today. It's more probably alive in Muslim countries. They study this. But it's alive in many countries. Russia is horrible with... I'm talking about a country like this that takes everybody and fights for everybody's rights and everybody's equal. I'm talking about that country like that. All those other countries are kind of tricky. But a country that promotes equal rights
and all this crap. Yeah, America has a lot. And then we got some crazy people. Yeah, America is a place with horrible sins in its past and its present. But, you know, if you look around the world, there is perspective to that too. I have perspective too in America. I think this is the best country in the world. Oh, there you go. But listen, we're not perfect.
Agreed, of course. We're not perfect. And we never will be. I mean, because it's amazing we're even still here, really, when you think about how primitive and how lizard-y our lizard brains are. Listen, we can't even anticipate our next breath. What? We can't even anticipate. We can't even get that any moment. Right. Life is fun. I can't anticipate me another second talking to you. Well, hopefully it's going to be a good second. But, you know, sometimes when I get up in the night...
like to pee.
But no, I used to take something for that band, but listen, I used to get up and pee every day. It's only once in the middle of the night. Oh no, I'm like four times. And long too, it's long. That's probably because Buster Douglas hit you in the kidney a million times. No, he hit me in the head. Your body has taken a beating, which gets me back to the fight. Here's my thing about the fight. I worry about you. I don't want you to, like, you have a really good brain and you're doing
doing great things with it. I would hate to see, you know, because here's my guess. Go for it. About where you are. Like, I bet...
Of course, at 55, you do not have the wind to go around the ring like a boxer in his prime does. You're also more brittle than you were at 25. But my guess is the actual punch that you have is exactly as it was when you were the champ. I don't think so. Oh, no. But listen, you know why you believe all the stuff you said, you're brittle? Because you believe that. I don't believe that.
Not at 55, a little more than at 25? You don't think your body was a little more rubbery? I have to live my life different in that perspective, but I don't think that I'm brittle and I'm a freaking guy that's got 25 and I better bend down and suck on him. You know what? I saw this movie with Stallone and Schwarzenegger that they made recently. I mean, they're both punching 70 in the mouth, right? Yeah.
And, like, it's some escape from prison movie, and they're fucking hitting each other with lead pipes. I'm like, you guys are 68. Your body could not, I mean, at any age, but maybe at 25 you could come back from it. Come on. You've got to acknowledge that time, you know, it's a river. It flows, Mike. It doesn't stop flowing, you know? Listen, it doesn't have to stop flowing, but maybe you...
You don't have to flow with it. You know, you just can't give up in life. You can't just say, I'm old and I can't fight. Get up and pee in the night. Like, I don't want to turn the light on because, you know, light is bad for sleep, right? Really? Well, sure. I need it because I'm going to piss on the floor and everything. Yeah.
My wife is so mad. Listen, my wife comes to go use the bathroom. She sits down and I put her on the thing. I pissed all over the thing. My wife, oh, God. I'm under, no, I'm serious. No, I'm serious. My wife get up and say, you're just a pig. I pissed all over the thing and I didn't pick it up.
Well, okay. We can certainly work on this. I feel like this is a totally solvable problem. No, it's not. All right. Introduce me to your wife. We'll work on it together. But here's the point I was going for is that, like, I want to keep it dark because when you get light in your eye, it tells your body to wake up. So that's why your room should be completely dark when you sleep.
And I don't want light. So I know where everything is. It's my house. I piss there all the time. So I don't really need light. But I'm doing this because I want to bump my head on the door or the door to the bathroom, whatever. You know, so...
I always feel like that's life. When you're moving forward, everything is in the dark. You can kind of see a little bit and you're using your hands to protect yourself. I don't think I can't sleep sometime at night. My wife would leave me alone. I'm jerking off. I'm one of those guys. You know, I just can't do it. I'm sitting for my wife. Hey, just leave me alone, okay? I gotta sleep.
I miss, I go to bed at 8 o'clock and wake up at 2 in the morning, can't sleep. But you like being married. I love being married. I know you do. And sincerely, that's great to see it. Because so many people, when they're married, you know, you say, you know, what's it like? And they're like, well, you know, it's a lot of work. They go right to sort of the...
It's no work. Really? It's no work. Your marriage is no work. No, I'm talking about from the fact that it's for Cameron, but there's no work. Oh, God, she's going to give me a hard time. That's fantastic. It's just I like her to give me a hard time. Right. You know what I mean? That's what you have a wife for. Right. You know what I mean? Right. To remind you that you're a man. That's why you have a wife. Yeah, to remind you that you're a man. They do? Yeah. Yeah.
A lot of times they put your balls in their purse, though. I mean, so there's also that side of it, you know. Listen, all the time they do. If you have that dependence on a woman like that, she got your balls.
But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Why is it a bad thing? Maybe she just wants to comfort my balls or something. Well, that's a different theory. It's not always true. Yes. Manscaped. We're always talking about balls. I'm always promoting manscaped, and we're talking about balls all the time. So you do that for your wife, you manscaped, because it's true? I don't do, never, no. I'm not a hairy person. I'm not hairy at all. No, but the beard looks very good. I like the beard. Yeah, I do too. I like the beard. I like the beard. Really good. Good luck.
I don't have no hair. I'm not a hairy guy at all. Right. Never wore it. Never had no hair. That's interesting. So, okay, so you like being married. Yeah. And you're a Muslim. Yeah. Is the whole family Muslim? Some of my kids, but listen, it's my wife and my kids, they have to choose what they want to be. Right. They have to choose. And you're okay with that? Absolutely. That is not a point of view that is even allowed in many, many Muslim countries in the world.
There is one religion. It is Islam. Well, I believe that. They're not big on like, hey, you know what? Let's agree to disagree. But listen, I'm not Allah. I know. I'm just saying that's something you're allowed to do here as an American Muslim.
No, I learned from experience I'm not going to stop their growth from something that my growth is extending with. Right. I'm growing with it, but that's not their growth. I'm just pointing out that this enlightened point of view is not found uniformly around the world.
You know, you said America's the greatest. That's one reason why the thing that's so great about America is that you can have that point of view. You'd be surprised how many Muslims want to come in and think the way we think. Oh, I'm sure they do. Oh, I'm not surprised. You'd be surprised. I'm not. And where's this...
All those guys in Iran and stuff, you'd be surprised. Sure, of course. These are beautiful people. And women who don't want to wear the fucking, you know, whatever the thing that looks like a cover of a motorboat. Well, some people are more modest than other people. I wish I had the dignity to be that modest. Modest? Yeah. Why do you say that's modest? Because they believe in covering themselves. Oh, okay.
And I'm like you said, I got to be, don't care how much money I got, I got to be in this cheap ass plane with all these people and talking to these people. There's one thing, modest is one thing. Completely covering a woman so you don't see any of her, that's not modest. That's pathological. Suppose she's happy with that. She's not, oh my God. She's not happy with it. I mean, you can brainwash someone into liking anything. It's like,
What's that called again? My kids always say that to me. Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome. Your kids say that. My wife got Stockholm Syndrome. So your kids, how old are your kids? They go from 33 to 11. Okay. So I'm sure you have times when you're with all of them. Yes. And I'm wondering what the discussion is like. Is it a lot of real shit? I'm sure it is.
It's all love. No, listen. I know, but you talk about, I mean, there's nothing that's off limits, right? No. You talk about sex with your kids. Everything. You talk about religion. Right. Your past. Yeah, everything. What do they say? Daddy, I saw YouTube. You were with this super fly. No, they go like this. And there's my kid, and I have a 13. What was wrong with you, Dad? Dad, why would you say something like that? I know, but they must be very proud of you.
Yeah, but my daughter's like one of these intellect kids, and she's like, why would you say something like that? I mean, it's curious. She's right. How old were you then? It's just ridiculous. All of us in our 20s are idiots.
You can't, yours just happens to be on tape and in front of the world. But we're all that way in our 20s, you know. It's what's so frustrating about youth, but we were the same way, is that you want to tell youth you don't know anything yet, but because they don't know anything yet, they can't understand why that's real. You know what? The youth feel so good, you know. Right. This is so good. Why would I listen to an old motherfucker? You don't understand why he does this. Exactly.
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You became a Muslim when you... No, I was Muslim before. Even before prison? Yeah, but it glamorized me, though, to be a Muslim in prison. By the way, I never thought you committed that crime. Hey, listen, I appreciate that. No, no, no, not that it's important. No, but no, it is. But listen, know what I learned? It was the best thing that happened for me, the great learning experience. But you know what? Back in the day, when this subject, because you're very famous, would come up in conversation and people would want to know my opinion, I'd always say...
I don't think that was rape. I think what Mike did was had sex with someone consensually and then wasn't nice enough after. No, but listen. Maybe you're guilty of that. Yeah, but no. And then someone gets angry. I'm guilty because of things I've done and got away with before that was grimy. Right. Yeah, that's what happened. And that was just a wake up call. I mean. That's things that I did do with bad to women, disrespectful.
That I got away with, that I never got to complain with. And this was one that it showed up. So that's kind of karma. Yeah, it's karma. I believe in karma. Some of my friends say karma is bullshit. I don't believe that either. Some of my friends don't believe in karma. So a little kid gets molested. How is that karma? I was telling you a million years ago why December 25th is not only Jesus' birthday, but the birthday of many gods.
in that Mediterranean world before Jesus. They grafted that December 25th onto his biography for a reason, because they were trying to sell a new product and it was familiar to people. And it originated that way because the winter solstice is December 21st, right? This is three days after the winter solstice. So what do you say about Jesus? I...
That's what I want to hear your opinion about Jesus. That's pretty much what I'm trying to listen to. It's coming along, but it's coming along really intellectually. I'm just going to tell you why it's December 25th. It's interesting. It's four days after the winter solstice. Before there was science.
On December 21st, it's the shortest day of the year. The days keep getting shorter. The people were like, oh my God, life is going to end. Every day gets shorter. December 25th is the first day they can notice that the days are getting longer again. So it turned into a celebration day. And that's why Jesus is on December 25th.
What? Aren't you glad I finished that? Yeah, but didn't Santa Claus, wasn't Santa Claus the mushroom dude? Santa Claus, Jesus, it's all the same thing. Anyway, what is my opinion of Jesus? Oh, well, as a philosopher, he did do some revolutionary things. The meek shall inherit the earth was really revolutionary. Of course, bullshit also, because they don't. But what do you define as the meek?
The meek. That was his famous quote. What do you define as the meek, though? Well, the meek are, you know, certainly not the ballers and movers and shakers and egomaniacs and, you know, the people who run the world. Not the Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great wasn't meek. How could he? You're not meek. You know, the meek... Some meek people disguise their meek with masculinity. What do you mean? Some people who are...
Who we're saying meek, they see their circumstances, so they hide that with masculinity to accomplish their goals. Like, give me a specific example of that. Say I'm a weak guy, right? And I'm looking around, everybody, they're following this particular lifestyle. This guy has to be a gladiator. This guy has to be tough. So I mask myself in that, in the toughness. I'm a tough guy now.
It just goes, let's look at a guy like me. Listen, look at me. You're saying this is you in this analogy? Yeah, it is. It is me in a way. You see yourself as a meek person? No, I look at myself as a guy that got my ass kicked and abused as a kid and picked on. And so what do you call that? Do you call that, I never thought I could fight until somebody told me to fight. I used to get beat up all the time and abused all the time. Yeah, then one day my friend said, fight him.
You got beat up? Absolutely, all the time. To probably 11 years old. Really? Yeah. But then it's probably because you didn't, you weren't big enough. You were being beaten up. No, listen, I was this size at 12. You were? Yeah. Well, 12, see, that's the year everything changed for you. Yeah, everything changed at 12. Oh, really? Yeah. So I remember seeing all those documentaries and you'd always be up there with the pigeons. And, you know, as an animal lover, I kind of loved that.
This is an interesting phenomenon because pigeon guys, it becomes a part of their soul. We have birds and we don't even know why we have them. We have other people taking care of them. We just have to have our birds. Who does? Pigeon people. Oh, pigeon people, yeah. Yeah. Oh, there's others? All over the world. Is that right? Yeah. I'm the only one I've ever heard of was you. No, since the beginning of time.
I've heard of falconers. You know, that's a big thing where they land on them. Well, they used them because that's during the Crusades when they had the messenger pigeons. So the Arabs used the falcon to grab the pigeons and they could see where the plans are and they can retract them down and intervene. Right.
But pigeons, what is it about the pigeon as opposed to other flying things that shit everywhere? You know what it is? It's just that this is what crazy, they need you to protect them. Most people that fly pigeons, they got the image of a tough guy. Because of you. No, no. As a little kid, if you flew some birds, you better not mess with them. Most pigeon flying guys are like tough guys.
Because if I'm a little kid, I got birds, I can come and take my birds. So you followed in that tradition. Yeah. Yeah. And something, it's like, maybe it's like you're this tough guy, but you want to show your gentle side. And you can do it with a, do you pet them? Because birds are very dirty, aren't they? They're cleaner than us. That's all they do all day is clean themselves. Birds are cleaner than us? That's all they do all day is clean themselves. Right. That's all they do all day is clean themselves. Could you talk to them about the shitting, though?
Because I feel like it's just so much. This is what you need to know. We're talking about ancient times again. Ancient times, pigeon shit was the manure of the world. I feel it is still the manure of the world. There's a lot of it. I think pigeon shitting is good luck. People that fly pigeons can't wait. Their friends come up the first day, they get shitted on. And we're like, fuck, I'm up here for 10 years, I don't get shitted on. You get shitted on your first day. But it is like they have permanent diarrhea. I mean, it's, I don't know.
It's because they eat so much. You know what else? Their shit is like acid. If it goes in your car, it eats right through your car. Yeah, it's like acid. Bird shit is like acid? It's like acid, yes. Huh. Wow. You ought to do a science show. Mike Tyson, the science guy. On birds, I know. No, and a lot of things, you know, do your history. But, okay, so the fight.
So who is this guy, Jake Paul? Yeah, yeah. Who is he? He's sensational. What are you, you don't know who he is? I know the name and I should know more and I apologize. But he's like, he's like, treat me like an idiot.
I don't even look at him the way people say. I can't even say what they call him. But he's not a fighter? Yeah, he's a fighter. So he's a fighter. Yeah, but they don't want to credit him as being a fighter. Why? He's fucking white with blue eyes and blonde hair, okay? I don't know, but...
You know, white people hate blue eyes and blonde hair. Everybody wants to kill them. You know, that's just the way, that's what he, but he can fight. That's what, that's his thing. You know, everybody wants to kick his ass. Don't get, every nationality wants to kick his ass. Kick this guy's ass? Yeah, everybody wants to kick his ass. Why? Because he's just, he pisses everybody off. Because he's the looking and, that too, but he's a great salesman. Oh.
Great, great, great salesman. Okay. So there would be massive interest if you fought him. He's a great promoter. He doesn't even know it. He's a natural great promoter. What would the fight look like in your eyes when you picture it?
It would be fun. It wouldn't be a fun fight. A fun fight. He's a beautiful guy, yeah. Because why? Because it would be so easy for you to. Nothing's easy. I'll never look at this is going to be easy. I don't look at life like that. See, you know what else I worry about as I talk to you? And I used to see you quite often at our friend Jeff Green's parties, you know. And you were always in a good mood, you know. We were at a party.
But you seem to have a calmness and a true happiness now. I worry about being this focused, centered, happy in life and then going into the boxing ring. Because maybe what helps you in the boxing ring is being angry, right? No. No. Like I said, that's a terrible theory. The projection that you are angry is the whole objective. It's all an act. Boxing is an act too. It's just physical.
It's all psychological. How can I get under his skin? Maybe I should hit on his wife. Something like that. It's all psychological. And then after you do all that stuff, you piss them off, and it's over. Hey, I love you, brother. It's all good. It's all strategy before you even get in the ring. So it sounds like what you're saying is like, you know, I know in many sports, if you just compared the...
on a strictly physical level. You can't really tell which one would be the real champion. I mean, there were many athletes who could jump as high as Michael Jordan and do some of the physical things, but he had a mental toughness. The willingness and determination to supersede everybody. Right. The willingness to sacrifice. You only do that by sacrifice. Only sacrifice can make you the best in the world. Nothing else. You have to sacrifice. Well, certainly in your game.
Every gang. Yes, but you don't want to go into the ring flabby. You have to have an ego. I used to just watch the old fighters. They were always ripped. I just wanted to look like the old-time fighters. Always ripped. You look like you're here to fight. I never wanted to be the flabby guy. And Muhammad Ali...
when he was flabby sometimes. I remember Howard Cosell, there's three rolls of fat now where there were once two.
He's just so beautifully degraded. I know, but he got punched too much because he wasn't in shape. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but because he was... He out-toughed guys. He was tough. When you're tough in this sport, it's not a tough man's sport. It's a thinking man's sport. At the end of his career, he got tough. He was taking punches. I think it's both. I think like the elite level of anything, you have to have like a...
It's like three lemon, three sevens in a row, like basketball. You have to be smart, high basketball IQ. You have to have crazy skills and you have to be tall.
If you're 5'9 and have the first two, fantastic. Good luck in your backyard. But to be, and I think in your game, you have to be very tough, smart, and skilled. You've got to get all three left. I'm 5'10". I crush the world to my feet. 5'10"? Yeah. Yeah, so that's perfect for a barker. You don't want to be too tall, right? I agree. Like 5'11", 6 foot, perfect. Right.
Right. And then your uppercut puts their chin bone into their skull. It's just that you're shorter and it's harder to hit. A big target is easier to hit than a big one. So, you know, just as a weekend warrior, I have a basketball thing here. I play every day. There's something about watching the ball go through your hoop. It's like the likes, you know? It's like I get a like in my brain every time the ball goes in. It's like magic.
How do I, how do, how am I focusing this ball? How am I navigating this ball in that little hole? Right. Yeah.
How am I able to do something like that? That's almost impossible when you think about it. You know, I had the same thought. Like, if you had never seen anyone shoot a basketball and they were 20 feet away, you would think, oh, you'd get that one out of a thousand times. Somebody could do it all day. All day. Larry Bird could do it all day. Oh, lots of guys can do it all day. I think the record for number of free throws in a row is something like 1,400.
Not in games, of course. This is like somebody, but they still did it. Chamberlain did 101 games, 100 points. When you land a good punch, is that the same as when the ball goes through the hoop? It's just like a, oh, I must feel good. The best punch in the world is when you don't feel it.
You don't feel it. When you feel like you've missed the guy and the guy's out there, that's the best part. I don't know why. Well, you don't mean dead. You mean so tired. No, he's out cold. Cold, yes. You count a hundred, you count a thousand, he's not getting up. I'm just saying you're not wishing that he was dead. No, that's just boxing terminology. You're not Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
That's painful to see, right? That trial? Yeah. Very. No, serious. Very serious. I was talking about it on my show last week, and I said it's literally the definition of a tragedy because a tragedy is when the tragic character has this tragic flaw. And because of the tragic flaw, it's inevitable that he's going to go to his doom. Exactly. You know, people are beating up on the girl, right? But I understand her, too.
Who knows what happens inside that relationship? But what do you understand about Amber? I understand that she's defending herself. She's fighting for her life. Well... And psychologically, she thinks everybody's against her because she's not getting a good rep. She's not looking good in the press. Well...
I mean, and there's also, we have to acknowledge the possibility that she could be flat out lying. People do lie. I mean... Yeah. But like you said, it's tragic, right? Tragic, yes. Does he love turning to that? Well, it's tragic because... What love is, I guess, supposed to be. He must have known. He had one trial already in London, which he lost. He must have known that a second trial would completely ruin his career forever because...
There's just too much in people's heads about this now, and it went on too long, and he wasn't at an age where you want to start new, and yet he couldn't stop himself from pursuing this because he had to clear his name. Check this out. He does not, I don't think he possibly... How my life is, what do you want? What? My relationship, what do you want? Take it all. You mean if you were in a divorce? No, in all my relationships, take it all.
Take it all to who? Whatever, the finances, whatever you want, just take it all. You're saying when you get into a discrepancy, that's your negotiating position? Yeah, just take it all. Right, because you just don't want to fight. It's just, I don't like that tragic stuff when two people love each other and now they hate each other. Right. If it is like that, let's do that privately. You know? Oh, okay.
That's just what I believe. And that's what I'm saying. The tragedy is neither one of them is going to work because she will always be the girl who pooped in the bed. I mean, she could be the greatest actress in the world...
It doesn't matter. It's like you can't, when she comes on screen, you'll think poop in bed. All you'll see is your amber shit bed. You almost want to cry for them, right? What the fuck? Cry for them is a little beyond my... No, but that's from a human perspective. No, it is. You look at them and you say, what the fuck? Do they have kids?
No. Oh, no. Thank God. I mean, look, he was married for like 15 years or not married, you know, effectively married to someone who they lived in France. They had two kids. They seemed very happy. And then he did a movie in 2009 with Amber. And, you know, a movie set is like.
Temptation Island. Did you ever see the show Temptation Island? I've been on a bunch of sets before. But Temptation Island? No, it's been a movie set and I see what happens in movie sets. Right. But I'm saying in Temptation Island they have like couples who have been together for four or five years and then they put them with all these other singles on an island away from each other.
because they're tempted. And a movie set is just like that, except not only is the wife a continent away, and now you're on this island, a movie set with this hot person, but they actually are writing a script for you to fall in love with her. You don't even have to do the work. It says right there, Tuesday, kiss her all day long. You know, listen,
It all comes back from that Roman stuff. A group of persons, it's all sex. You know what I mean? It's sex-inspired. That's who we are. Everything does come from Rome. I mean, a lot from Western civilization. Rome and Egypt. Egypt, less so. Well, listen, count and find out how many pyramids are in this country.
Pyramids? Well, there's the one in Vegas. Tons of them. Really? Pyramids? And the one in Vegas is still not bigger than the one in Giza. I know, but the pyramid is not something that you'd have to be Egyptian to think of. I'm sure people all over the world thought, oh, look, pointy at the top and bigger at the bottom. There's pyramids in Mexico. There's pyramids all over the world. That's what I'm saying. There's pyramids in Bosnia. Yes, because everyone thinks of a pointy thing.
with you know bigger at the bottom it's like a natural i think it's something that the house of worship bullet bras what i don't know i think they always it comes down to a house of worship what comes down to a house well i mean it certainly has been used in worship you know the people do think there's something mystical it's on the back of one of our dollars right dollars doesn't it
Like, what's it doing on American money? You're right. It's everywhere. Because we believe, our power system believes that's the way life should be. Roman and Egypt, we have an asphyxiation with that. I mean, there is another, I think there's another Egyptian, you're right, Egyptian thing on the money. But a lot of this is because, you know, all these cultures, I mean, we did come, I mean, Roman culture then spawned
European culture, which then spawned America. So we do trace more back to Rome. But they were all, you know, mingling with each other. I mean, look at Mark Antony married Cleopatra, right? Yeah. And Caesar fucked her too. Yeah. They were like the Kennedys sharing Marilyn Monroe. But it all comes down to the power of her. They're all fucking Cleopatra. Cleopatra, yeah. That's the power, though.
You know, everybody say, oh, she's getting fucked, but that's the power. So you think she had the power? Absolutely. She had the strongest men in the world at her feet. What do you think? Do you think Cleopatra was, like, great looking or it was something else? No, she was horrible looking. Cleopatra was horrible looking? She was a monster. How do you know this? How do you know what Cleopatra was? Well, listen, what's...
She had a tomb. People looked at her through the thing. She had a bent nose. She was really unattractive. So what, she just gave the most amazing head? No, she was the most intelligent. Intelligent? Yeah. When she came to Junior City, she was in a rug. And she, boom, that's what. Yeah. She smuggled herself in the rug. She was smarter than everyone else.
If she wasn't, how'd she get the two strongest men in the world at her feet? I bet you she was good looking. No, she was horrible looking. Well, we don't know. To our standards. But we didn't... Hey, look at it in your phone. They were looking at my phone. What do they call it? YouTube thing. What does that look like? Who took a selfie of Cleopatra in 4 BC? Listen, what is it that...
You can look up the information. She's an ugly bitch. We cannot know what Cleopatra looked like. No, no sign. There was no photograph. She's an ugly bitch. She's an ugly bitch. Mike, I will not sit here and have you denigrate Cleopatra. She's an ugly fucking bitch. Your shoes were laid to Alexander the Great, too. That was the bloodline stopped. What's this?
She had the bloodline of Alexander the Great, too. She had the bloodline? How did she get Alexander's blood in her? Greeks. Greeks conquered. One word. Greeks. You really know the Greeks? She was Greek, too. Who was? She was part Greek, too. Cleopatra? Cleopatra, yeah. Well, I mean, Greece...
And Rome, of course, grew up back to... Macedonia, they ruled everything. Macedonia did not... Well, Alexander the Great, of course, was Macedonian, but... And Philip II. Yes. Philip was a barbarian. But Macedonia, even today, it's disputed as a sort of a province of Greece or its own separate country. It is its own separate country now. But people don't all agree with that. Because the Greeks considered them barbarians. Yes, yes.
Yes, they were warriors. I mean, they were sort of like Spartans of the North. Look how many things are named after him. Alexander this, Alexander this. Yes. Yeah. No, I mean, he conquered the world, but he was dead by 33. 32, yeah. 32. You know...
I think his men wanted to go back and they poisoned him. He didn't want to go back. He wanted to keep conquering and conquering. Yes. Because when he got to India and all the armies got together, his men would say, no, let's not do it. Right. And he wanted to cross the river. Yes. He kept walking down the river, but they kept following him. That's your thing about it's never enough. Yeah. That's what you were saying about conquerors. Never enough. Never enough.
So, listen, I got to go, but... Don't go, man. Come on, man. This is bullshit, man. Hang out, man. I know. I agree. But I know it seems like we're just sitting here, but they're actually taping it. That's the problem. Forgive me for my language. I just can't help this shit. Oh, you don't have to forgive me. I can't tell you how...
appreciative I am that you would think enough of me to do this because you're the very hot property in media and you know I just really thank you so much Mike when I see you I think I'm good I think I'm with old Jeff I hope you're having a good time and that's all respect we can do it again yes I do agree right yes I'm going to see Jeff next month anyway I'm getting ready to move to Boca
You might? Yeah, my kids, they're playing tennis in Gotham, moved to Boca. We have the house in there. Oh, you already did it? Yeah. Because Florida is attractive now. I mean, I go back and forth on Florida. Yes, I almost, I look, I literally took a virtual tour of homes in Miami. I, look, I, sometimes you have to look reality stark in the face. And I was scared about, and still am, about the fires out here and other things, but mostly the fires. Yeah.
And I thought, oh, maybe I should go someplace. And people said, well, you know, Miami, they'll have hurricanes. I'd rather drown than burn. But not Miami. You've got to be in Boca. Well, whatever it was. And there was a sense of freedom there. I mean, especially during COVID. You know, people, I liked it better in Florida. And I was not a COVID paranoid. I was in St. Boston. Everybody was hugging and kissing each other. Really? Yeah, hell yeah. If I didn't have COVID, then I'm never going to catch it.
I was in St. Paul's. If I didn't catch it, I'm never going to catch COVID if I didn't catch it. Everybody hugging and kissing everybody. Oh, I mean, the inconsistency of it was insane. But I thought about Miami, and then I realized, no, actually, at my age, by the time I felt like I was at home there, I would be dead.
You know, I've been here 40 years in California. If you go to Miami, that would energize you. No, you go to Miami, you go, whoa. I mean, whoa, you energize. I'm too old to be energized. I don't believe that's what you believe. I'm brittle. No, I'm not. I'm not brittle at all. I feel fucking great. But I'm just saying, you can't deny that, you know, as you go down the path of life...
you know, you do get a little diminished in certain ways. If not, you'd still be the champion of the world. You know, I mean, so you can only be, as I always say, when people say you look great for your age is the part they don't say. You look great for your age. We don't look like we did when we were 20. Now we're being serious now. So life is just, look at it, do anything, but it's just a beautiful process of dying. Yeah.
As soon as you're born, the process begins. Well, that's very poetic. A beautiful process of dying. Did you just make that up? Yeah. That's really profound. But that's what it is, though, right? It's a fucking great way to look at it. Can I get my pessimistic head wrapped into it? Maybe. I mean, like this joint. No, but just think about it. We can't. I mean, this clove cigarette. You know what? They're putting in these cloves lately, Mike, but it's fantastic. Yeah.
Anyway, all right. I can't because Howie Mandel is here. It would be rude. We just watched him on television yesterday. Remember Howie never touched him? Watch Howie's thing and hang out with him. Is Howie still the same guy that he doesn't touch people? Watch Howie, and then we'll get together after. We're all part of it. I got to get home. I want to be right here. No, he's got to get home. That sounds good. No, no, no, no. I got to get home. That's 20-year-old guy stuff. Hey, man, let's just chill out. Right.
Quentin Tarantino, he stayed. We partied all night at my house. Well, some night, but you don't drink. But you got the weed. That's enough, David. You feel about weed? Yeah, look at that truck. Mike, gee whiz. You're not going to do all that in one night. Well, hopefully I don't, but I will attempt to do it. Look at the ears. Come on, man. You got to look at the Tyson mic bites. You got to show that to the world. I can't keep them in the store.
Mic Bites. I brought you a bunch of stuff, man. I don't know why. I rub them into my belly, and I stick them up my ass. They're that good. Mic Bites. Even if you stick them up your ass, you'd probably feel the high effects. You know, they probably would work. No, you feel good. No, I'm telling you. I think the punch is the same. You can't run around, but if the guy just stood still... Yeah, that'd be great, right? That'd be great.