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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. You know, people think I smoke way more pot than I do. I found that I smoke, like Carlin said, he smoked less as he got older. It went from getting high to write the joke to later on writing the joke, then coming back, looking at a little stone like, oh, okay. The more I get involved in marijuana, the longer I go into my career, the less I smoke, which is weird. Well, I certainly hope you don't become one of those pussies who gives up entirely.
No, no. You're not a pussy if you give it up. People change, but like... I like the old rosters, man. Like, if you sit around and hang out with one of them, they'll fucking smoke and give you life lessons and shit. I want to be that old. Well, like, my friend Woody Harrelson has quit a few times. No, no.
But we always got him back. Okay. I mean, there's... But... I'm done in it. It's like an intervention in reverse. Yeah, yeah. I've done it once myself. I know Willie Nelson did it because I know there's that famous story where something, what he was trying to be good and good and good, and then finally he's with Willie and Owen Wilson or something, and of course there's like, these guys are going to be smoking like a pot, and he couldn't wait anymore, and he grabbed the joint and...
Willie Nelson just said, welcome home, son. Welcome home, son. I do three-day stints. Wait, will you have a drink? I just, I will drink with you. What is that? This is just your drink.
Well, what do you want? I drink whiskey. Is that this? Oh, shit. I don't know. Usually I'll drink a Johnny Walker. It says Canadian whiskey. I never knew what whiskey was. It's like a... I only drink about four times a year, so I'm not a whiskey drinker like I'm well-versed. You only have alcohol four times a year? Four times a year. I smoke a lot of marijuana. I'm talking
I figure you can't be bad. You can't, you know, can't like food, whiskey, and weed. You got, something's got to go, so. You picked the right one. Yeah. You know, of all, I mean, of all the things in the world that are horrible for you, and there's many of them, but really there's nothing worse than liquor. There's a reason they used to put a skull and crossbones on the fucking bottle. But, you know, right now I am so dry I could ball a camel. No, I'll have a drink with you. Richard Belzer used to say. No, my grandfather. But, what,
So what do you want? This? You want this? I'll drink whatever whiskey you're drinking. I don't drink whiskey. I drink tequila. Is that Jack over there? I'll just keep the glass and go Jack. Yes, that used to be my drink. So I'll do Jack. You know that I drank so much of this that they sent me a deed.
a one-foot plot of land in Tennessee so I could officially be a squire. It looks like I'm doing an ad for it. I'm just telling a story and saying, thank you, Jack Daniels, for that plot of land. I'll have to visit it sometime. Speaking of plots of land, you've got a compound here. This is like the Godfather. This is amazing. This shit is like, man, my wife is in a whole other house. We're in a club. We're in a club. You have a club. It's cool. Right?
I would have brought the girls from the flame head, I know. Oh, we have to talk about that. Okay, we got to talk about that. Oh, first of all... I love that. I read it's in trouble. I don't think... I think it's going to be okay, but it's always... It's, you know, perpetually, you know. Of course. They don't want to strip club clubs. I mean, Mike...
Oh, such a stoner. I poured... What did I pour in here? Jack Daniels? You poured Jack in there. Okay, you want that with something? No, no, just ice. Just ice? The ice brings out the flavor. Pops out the sweetness in it. Oh. Oh, wow, you're pouring. Excuse me. Well, if you... Well, you're not mixing... That's what the guy told me when he poured whiskey or ice. But you're not mixing it with anything. No, I'm not mixing it. Right, so I'm giving you more. No Barack Obama. There we go. So, uh... What were we talking about? We were talking about... Oh, this plane may be in trouble.
Well, okay, but before we get to the trouble, I just have to say, you know, I've told this story now to a few close friends just because it was so close to my heart, this, you know, that you took me into a place. I mean, it's so funny because when I said to a few people, I said, you know, I'm going to Atlanta and Mike's going to take me to...
where he hangs out, breaks his new records and stuff. Because, you know, strip clubs are where records are broken. Absolutely. Right? Okay. So a few people said to me, oh, they thought they knew their shit. You know, they were like, oh, I know. It's the Magic City. Magic City, yeah. Okay. Which I also go to. Okay. Well, you said to me... We're not going to Magic City. And that's for tourists. It is. It's for tourists. And so, like, I must say, it was...
First of all, the driver didn't want to go. Yeah, fuck you. I know. Because he thought it was too dangerous. Uh-huh. I never felt any danger. Because you weren't in any danger. Because I was with you, first of all. Right. I mean, I thought, first of all, I was very impressed. Yeah. I thought it was going to be a hole in the wall. No. It was very nice. Yeah. Yeah.
Like, and busy, and, you know, like, it wasn't like one of those places with three girls. No. Broken down, you know. No. And a Marine with a hard-on and four dollars. You know, it was like, you know, you did the thing with the...
Yeah, you're making it rain. You do that to the girls. I do it to the girls on stage. No, not to me. To me, making it rain as a guy while you're sitting or standing there is one of the most homoerotic things you can do because you're throwing the money for other guys to look at you. That isn't about the girls. So I tend not to be a money thrower. I just tally you up at the end.
What? You've got a stack of singles like this. Yeah, I do that. But the girls that are on stage, I'll throw money at them because when a girl is on stage, that's us on stage. That's her. And the way you give her applause or laughs is to throw money up there. And it encourages other people to throw money. So you do that because it's a tribute to her. It's like some goddess worship shit from 10,000 years ago.
But if a girl is giving me a lap dance, a lap dance that's $5 apiece, I just want you to grind in my lap for an hour. I'll tally you up at the end. Just act like you love me, baby. I mean, this...
first of all, you know, I love your wife. Yes, Jackie. I just do. How can you not? And like, driving through that neighborhood, it's funny, from the East Coast, when we think of a bad neighborhood, you know, I'm from New Jersey, New York, you know, we certainly were within spitting distance of bad neighborhoods. Um,
where, you know, you were at Central Park, you know, Johnny Carson used to do jokes about the crime in Central Park every fucking night. It was a fun city. So, but...
In the East Coast, a bad neighborhood, it's like an urban setting. Yeah. So it looks bad. It's grimy. Yeah. Buildings. Yeah. You know, dark streets. Not a bad neighborhood. But, like, I remember I saw Boys in the Hood. Yeah. And that was California. Yeah. I was like, wait, that looks like where I grew up. It looks like a house. You know, why is this a bad neighborhood?
And it didn't look like a bad neighborhood to me. Because it's not. But, okay, so the driver did not want to go there. Yeah. He was scared when he got out. You know, I must say, you know, you're the king of Atlanta. I don't know. I think T.I. I'll let T.I. keep the key. You know where I am. I'm an honest person. Well, you're a prince. You're a prince of the city. I don't know what you are. A princeling. Something in the royal family. But I did see some hard looks.
Some people looked at me like, "You don't belong here." And then they realized who you were, though. And it was like, "Oh!" No, that didn't make any difference. No, no, no. I know it doesn't make any difference. But you got to understand, usually if a white guy's in there, he's in a trucker's hat.
and he's in a denim coat and it's the day because there's a truck stop across so the confused looks you get weren't about who are you we don't want you here it was who the fuck is the white guy at night because usually usually you would be there and you would be a southern white man driving a truck and you would have walked from the truck stop across the street but at night in a suit they were trying to figure out who the fuck is this white and then they were oh my fucking god Mike got the arm and then I had to tell everybody don't take pictures and don't shout them out right
I remember saying to your wife, you know, she's like, the girls, like, I felt like I was in a cartoon. Yeah, I don't... I mean, the largeness of...
Of the tits and ass. Now, a lot of the tits and ass we saw that night, it was like it was Bondo to a car. Like a lot of that was, no disrespect to the girls, but a lot of that was. You know how you can have a car that's made of metal, you get in a wreck, you can have it repaired with metal, you can have Bondo put on it. So a lot of girls fly down to Dominican Republic or places like Miami or Columbia, they get a little Bondo. Right. And it's kind of turned into a look.
But the girl that ended up dancing for you had a beautiful body. She was... Yes. Yeah, she was natural, all natural. She's one of my favorite dancers. It's crazy. I say this to women and they're looking at me like, you're fucking pervert. What do you mean your favorite dancer? I'm like, because dancers are entertainers. Like, she's my speed of entertainment. I can't...
I don't need an ass as big as my belly. Also what's interesting about that club is that the girls, like, there's no, like, would you like a dance? They just start. Dancing. I mean, they work hard for the money. Yeah, they do. So hard for it, honey. Yeah. So you better not... Whatever. You better treat her right. Oh, you better treat her right. Better not fuck with her. You, though...
I can say, handled yourself pro as fuck. You were chill. I was like, why doesn't he let the girl in? You were like, no, I don't feel like it. That's enough. And your wife was so funny. She's like, it's all about you with the singles and the throwing. And she's like, come on, throw this. And I'm like, you know what? I can't do that. I cannot throw money at people. I'm sorry. I know it's not disrespectful in this setting. I just can't do it. And then...
And the girl sat down. I said, let's just talk for a second. Hello. How about hello? Because I'm just killing a night with my buddy. I'm not looking for trouble or dating. So, you know, and I always, if I'm in that setting, strip club setting, I will always, first of all, make it clear to the girl, I understand you're working. Yeah.
And give her $100 right away. Yeah. Just to say, like, I... It's just a way to say, I respect that this is your job. Yeah. You know, you're not here to jerk me off or, you know, listen to my problems. Maybe that's it. I think sometimes they are therapists. Day shift girls are more problem listeners. Therapists than I am. The girls who work day shift, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they tend to be nursing students in life. No, I'm just kidding.
Oh, is that what they tell you, Mike? You have nursing students? I mean, you got to drop them off to school the next day. I've had some fun. But, I mean, and your wife, she looked up, she was like, she saw that $100 and she was like, because she had been trying to get me to throw the singles. And I just said, I do it my own way. But you wound up spending like a billion times more than I did. Oh my God, that stack is...
I may be spending the rain. No. Because it was you. Really? Yeah, I may be spending the rain. It was a stack. But even that is kind of a lot of money to be spending in a strip club. I average about $400. I try to make sure I have a couple hundred. You know, it's like playing poker.
You know you're going to lose it. It's just a fun activity when you're out. And you're helping the economy. I really do appreciate you bringing me into there, into your world. And, you know, with all that's going on in the country, I couldn't help think that, you know, yes, we've made a lot of progress. But, like, when you're on, I have the staff print out the lyrics. Yes.
I've listened to the record. Oh, thank you. Of course. Yeah. But then I also want to read because I can't understand what any music, not just, you know, I don't understand the Bee Gees. Really? I mean, I still don't know what the lyrics to Honky Tonk Women are. I met her and then I'm off. I don't feel so bad. But I want to read it.
You know, because there's so much slang and references, right? Rappers, man, our grand dilemma is for people who are considered dangerous and illiterate, we sure have to have a mastery of words. That's what I'm trying to say to you. You're speaking two languages, you know. Tia is especially great with words.
Not just the rap words. Oh, well. I just hung up from our high school principal, who's 70-something's birthday today. Shout out to Dr. Hill. But Tip sounds like Dr. Hill to me. When I closed my eyes, like, you know, enthusiastically and porically, like, you just hear these words like...
Fuck, you were selling cocaine. How did you learn these words as a crack dealer? Just the sheer volume. If you print out a pop song, you know, anything before rap. 16 words, you had a whole song. I mean, it feels like half a page. And very often I've heard the Beatles talk about this and say, you know, if we couldn't think of a third verse, we would just repeat the first one. Like they came up with like eight lines and they were fucking totally cooked on that. And we don't care.
But rap, it's like it would be, each song's like two pages. It's getting shorter though, but yeah, you're right. Like fully typed and like lots and lots of verses and they're all clever and, you know, I mean, it's just, it's not really comparable. I mean, there are great, of course, pop lyrics, you know, I mean, Paul Simon is a great lyricist and Dylan and,
sometimes uh Lennon McCartney but not like really some of them there's a few people on that kind of level where you could almost read it as poetry yeah absolutely but your stuff you could always read as poetry yeah it's kind of cause you know rap is a it's a weird little hybrid um
You know, it's kids who weren't necessarily been given the best opportunity from an educational standpoint, but because you had these fringe groups that were, you know, you had like the last poets, Gil Scott, you had out of jazz, you know, the scat and the beat-a-bop, and you had story tales of people like Stagger Lee from the early 1900s. So,
If you look at Muddy Waters, Reefer and Champagne, that song, it sets up for what would later become rap lyrics. Because in the blues, you're just kind of testifying how crazy and fucked up a life and heart is. I think rap kind of did that. And James Brown, isn't that kind of a bridge? I think one of the most sampled, he used to be the most sampled artist.
in terms of taking his break, the break beats, what the music that would play in between the verses and stuff, or to give him a break, to take those, man, those have created public enemies, the cornerstone, what Funkadelic did, and the West Coast kind of teetering their sound on that. Curtis Mayfield really, Curtis Mayfield's my favorite. My mom had me when she was 16 years old.
And she got married to my non-bio dad. So I got two dads. I'm lucky. She got me two great guys as dads. When she got married, when she was 19 and moved out, my grandmother was just like, go learn how to be somebody's wife. Don't worry about him. We're going to, her and my grandpa, we're going to raise him. And my mom left me these records. So I'm a young kid, but I get to play Curtis Mayfield. And Mayfield's lyrics, the music, the stories all pull me in.
And to the point where I start to get, like, wanting to rap over this stuff. And you got artists that came out of the South, like, they call them MJG and Outkast that use that sound. So rap to me is a progression of...
of wailing from the church, of blues from the juke joints, of jazz and the speakeasy. We are a culmination of that and the Caribbean art of DJing and party throwing and cool hurt kind of brought over. And then it got to the South and just became this hybrid with the music we already like. So Curtis Mayfield. Yes. I think I have a few of his... Is that Pushing Man? That's Pushing Man. That's Superfly Soundtrack. Superfly, yeah. Yeah.
Now that you mention it, I wouldn't have noticed. But I mean, I've had that in my, you know, I use the old iPod. Yeah. Did I tell you that? The thick one? With the circle. Yeah. And I will maintain until I die. What? How so? You use it for a paperweight? It still works? You have to get them on eBay. Really? But you know, you can do things on them you can't do. Just controlling. It's like, I want my records. You know what I mean?
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You sure you don't want anything in there? They're like, nah, I'm going to just stick with just the whiskey. Soft and the blow. Soft and the blow. So you were alive in the blow. I'm very flattered you're spending one of your few drinking nights. You are a friend and brother to me. Thank you. I appreciate you. You were alive in the blow era. Yes. What the fuck was that like?
I've been waiting. It's a lot like that. Yeah. Okay. So as most things, I was late and missed it. Okay. That explains why you're still here. I always wanted to ask that. But like when it was over, I did, there was a period where I did like,
I have a little flirtation with cocaine for a year or so. And it was like, so not me. Cause it's not me. I'm like a pothead. Yeah. It was a low point, but I was never like, uh, crazy, you know, I mean, it wasn't like, yeah, it was a flirtation. And then I was like, no, this sucked. I always thought it sucked. And I was right. And if, but in the eighties, I mean, I've only heard these stories, but like it was so like early eighties, it was so commonplace that,
and thought to be sort of benign, that people would break it out in business meetings. Like, yes, I mean, Richard Pryor famously, they can't all be lying, asked Mel Brooks, is he still very sharp and still here?
I'm sure he would remember, like Blazing Saddles, they were writing it together. And, you know, they would just break out a big rock and bounce it on the table. And this is the good shit. I'm sure. And that was a writing session. You know, these people were... They were living. Yes. But it just, it sort of didn't dawn on people that it was bad for a while. I don't know. They were hired. Black people don't do as well with cocaine.
Like, during that opportunity, because my mom was only 16 years older than me, but I lived with my grandparents, her house was like our weekend retreat, me and my sisters. And her house was kind of like your basement. Like, at 6 o'clock Friday, it just became a club. Really? Yeah, because my mom was a florist, so she was with interior designers, artists, and it was like this bohemian-ass living room in this middle-class black neighborhood, because she lived further out in Decatur, where, like, ex-Braves pitcher Phil Necro and shit lived. So mom was...
doing pretty good, you know? Phil Negro, what a reference. Hey, man, he played for the Braves, bro. Yes, he did. And he lived there? Yeah, he lived out in Decatur at the time. Boy, that's really throwing me a knuckleball on that. Yeah, then white flight happened. And that's when I wondered where all our white neighbors went. There were two white brothers I played with next door to my mom. And I came home one day, they were just gone. I was like, damn.
What the fuck happened to the homies? Then I found out later about wife's life. And I was like, the homies probably had to grow up in Forsyth. That was not lit. But cocaine was something that I saw, not in a fucked up or fouled or crazy way. It was just a bunch of young artsy people running around my mom's house, coked up, freebasing, having fun, partying, dancing all weekend and shit. And then I noticed, like, her white friends were still able to kind of get up and go to work on Mondays.
It's like all the black folks are still here, mom. It's not going as well for them. I said cocaine probably shouldn't be something. No, that is the worst. I said a little while ago. And for you white coke users, you guys turn into assholes when you do it, so don't think it escapes that. I hate that 3 o'clock in the morning call from your coke head white homie who's just like, man, I want to fucking kill myself. Really? What the fuck is up?
Man, I'm sitting outside. Man, my girl's in there. Man, I think she called a call. I hold my, ho, ho, ho. She's not dead, is she? No.
No. I'm like, okay, okay, we can continue this conversation. But why were you friends with a guy like that? No, because you're a musician. And your friends, even if you aren't the closest of friends, you form friendships. Of course. Yeah. And then your friend who's an amazing musician. That's what you think of me, isn't it? Because I promise you, I will never call you up in the middle of the night and be saying that. First of all, I'm just too old.
That just can't happen at this point, which is kind of a relief. No, I don't think coke is good for us. Oh, coke, yes. But the coke era, that era was wild. You guys had been having all the... See, I'm a celebrity in a very safe era.
You can't say crazy shit to women. Sex, safe sex is... I think about my whole sexual career has been condoms for us. You know what I mean? We didn't get the fun of raw dogging and shit. Like, you guys had it. You were the last great era. My parents' era, your era was the last great era, dog. I don't think a lot of people are having sex...
raw dog at this point? Well, I mean, now. You know, they kind of fell back on it. But we were scared as shit when I was in high school. I think all young people do the same thing. I'm sure I did it too. Yeah. Which is, the first time you're with somebody, you're like, we don't know each other, we need to use a condom. And then after you fuck them once, you're like, well, I know you now. Yeah.
Now that we know each other so well and we're such good friends, I don't know what, after all this time of an hour, we're doing, I still, using condoms plainly, we have a bond. Only Damon and Pythias were closer than we are. What is your name? But yes, Coke, kids, whoever's...
Don't. That is worse than liquor. Because at least liquor is somewhat watched over. We know the ingredients are poison. Yeah. But Coke, they can put anything in it, and they do. It's never, I would love to know what pure cocaine is like. Because I don't think it's like the drug we did in America. Nah, I don't, yeah, because the shit over here, like by the time we as little kids start selling Coke,
in terms of trapping, with T.I. introducing worlds with trap music, that was just whatever cocaine was supposed to be in a bunch of baby laxatives. Yes, baby laxatives, which is why I used to put my diapers on. Baby laxatives, if you're lucky, and then when you get to drugs like acid, Timothy Leary himself...
You know who that is, right? Okay, he was the guy who introduced acid in the 60s. He was a Harvard professor. Yes. He said, tune in, turn on, drop out. I've seen that picture of him with that. Yes, he was quite a counterculture hero to many, but did some sketchy things, I think. But I knew him at the end of his life. He was a lot of fun and a wise... I mean, he was onto something and...
There hasn't been acid, what he did as acid, since almost the 60s. He said there was this one batch made by this one guy, it's very hard to make, Owlsley, I think, and like the one the Beatles and Dylan and everybody did in the 60s. You know, because a jar of it was like thousands of hits. It's one drop, you know, acid.
And he said, whatever you think is acid, it's just what somebody made. It's speed plus some, you know, ketamine or whatever. I don't know what. See, that's why I never bought into it. No, it's terrible. I think this kid's name might have been Steve. I took Washington High. So I went to Frederick Douglass, but I took driver's ed at Washington.
He was looking for weed and couldn't get weed at whatever part of North Fulton he lived. It was easy for me to get weed in my neighborhood. And then he started telling me about what they were doing. I said, so what the fuck, you know, y'all doing up there? They were doing acid, shit like that. And he had told me about this kid who was a skater and had skated with a bunch of what was stamps or tabs in his,
back pocket and potentially, from what the story said, soaked into him. Said, the kid, the guy all fucked up thought he was an orange and they had to fucking commit him. That was all I needed to hear. I was like, yeah, I'm never doing that shit. I was like, I'm cool. Gotcha.
After alcohol made me sick in a McDonald's parking lot, I was like, this ain't for me. I didn't smoke weed at first because, you know, I tried it with my friends. I smoked a little in high school just to be cool with the homies. But I didn't smoke weed to become a stoner until I smoked with Big Boy. When OutKast was recording... Big Boy.
Oh, right. They're from your... They put me on. They changed my life, him and Dre, you know? And DJ Swift, like, they changed my life. This guy... Is that right? They were mentors to you when you were coming up? Yeah, my first record. I was Big Boy's little brother, James, and his best friend, Cee-Lo's punk-ass homeboy. Because I remember when they were the biggest. Man, and then... In all of music. Yes. Yeah. And 10 years ago, they won album of the year.
You got rappers arguing about even being nominated by Abner the Year and A. They made... Mrs. Jackson was like a very big crossover, like maybe the biggest record of that year. That one. That one was so dope and so good and so poignant. Like every baby's father in the world fell down. Oh, and you're still friendly with them? You still see them? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, they're like, you know, when I say someone or call someone brother...
Even if I haven't talked to you in 20 years, I still see your review that way. And we happen to talk. Big and I talk very often, as we're still in the same city. Dre and I talk often. So Dre is out here making movies, and he plays the flute now, and he does some other cool shit. He's rich as fuck. They're what I call white folks rich, so it ain't like they got to be on the scene. I got Big to go to the flame with me last year, though. That was fun. That was fun. That was fun.
Well, you know, anytime you need a wingman, I think, you know. They ask about you. Who does? From the owners to the girls. The DJ. Really? Yeah, it means something, man. You know, you coming through there meant something. Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, it was the funnest time ever. I took a couple of athletes by there who are, you know, the teams tell them, don't go in that kind of shit. I get them in the back door, let them have a good time, let them see, you know, it's just a black neighborhood. It's just a regular middle class black neighborhood. Yeah, I mean. It's like Tony, if you watch Tony Teprano, it's like the bottom B. Like, it's just like it's the neighborhood spot. Exactly. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. And the guys who own it are not even gangsters.
So that's the beautiful part. People just can't help themselves from just making stupid shit out of... I mean, is it just... It's like when people try to say to black people in Atlanta, you guys don't... You're not afraid to go to Stone Mountain? You know, like, where there's a 95% black... Stone Mountain is that mountain...
that it's another mountain, it's the hill that they have the Confederate generals carved in. Right? Of course. Now, it used to be a predominantly white enclave. You know, I'm sure some people had had lineage all the way back to Confederacy. Now it's just a bunch of black people. Right. But not just regular black folks.
Immigration from across the world. The diaspora's there. East Africans are there. Caribbeans are there. West Africans are there. Indian populace. You got all these people. It's one of the most diverse cities in Georgia. So when people ask Atlantis, like, you guys are afraid? What the fuck are we going to see? Our cousins? And the people there, I'm guessing, correct me if I'm wrong, I might be, I'm guessing that the people there look at the mountain, or have seen it, and are like,
yeah, that's wrong, and what's for dinner? Yeah. You know, like, okay. I mean, if they, I mean, what would they do? They would demolition them. It's hard to take down a statue, but it's hard to take down a mountain. Yeah, I've heard people, I've heard, now there is a running suggestion from Butter ATL, shout out to that website. They're really cool. It's a kid named Brandon Starget. There's a, there's a, there's a push to put OutKast on the side of it and like usher in some stuff.
That's what you do. Just change the features. That would be amazing. I honestly just, man, I'm more concerned with the next 20 years of city contracts and making sure some black contractors can get it. That's what, you know, I'd like to see a guy named Omar Ali get more contracts than I would necessarily expect.
care to argue over, am I scared to go again? Because the practical shit changes shit. Have you ever seen or been to Mount Rushmore? No, I've not done Mount Rushmore. Thank you, Jesus. I'd be upset if you had. I've been to Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon. But I have. So what'd you think? It was so interesting. I was doing a HBO special that year. It was 1995.
And it was in Minnesota, and I wanted to go somewhere with my girlfriend at the time after, and we took a little vacation to the heartland because we thought it was corny too. And it was, but it was also sort of like sweet in a way. Yeah. You know, I mean, like Mount Rushmore, I was just thinking if they...
even tried to do it today. Now, of course, it's pointless. There's no reason to do it in the first place. Let's put that right on the table. But the fact that in the Depression, they were able to muster the amount of organizational skill, courage, and engineering, and get it done in a reasonable amount of years. If we tried to do that now...
The budget would go to $16 billion. You get halfway through Lincoln's nose and they would pull the plug on the project because of all the grafts. I'm always talking about this on my show. It just bugs me so much that we can't get anything done because every pig at the trough has to take so much. Everybody has to get their beak wet to the point where nothing can get done. And it costs like...
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So my mom and you were in the same age demographic, but she was a cool girl. She did floral arrangements, these beautiful trees and flowers and shit. And she would go to, she partnered with a white woman up in Cobb County back when it wasn't, the Braves weren't there, let's just say. Wasn't safe just going through Cobb County. Too-da-doo-da-doo as a black person. But she had a business with this woman and the women started asking her for coke.
And before you know it, my mother was a drug trafficker and a pretty successful and good one and introduced me, Roxanne Shante, the woman.
Man, the first generation is one of the dopest female rappers and rappers ever. My mom was going to New York to party and hang, probably to do deals, and met Roxanne Chantel right before she went upstate, I think, where it comes from a foster care facility, and she gave me a signed picture of her. That was just a real picture, not like a headshot and a record, and I told her that. And when they premiered her movie, I mean, she cried like fuck. She cried, I cried. I was like, man, all drug dealers ain't bad.
No, of course not. Wow. So your generation, I hate that you guys are losing hope because you were the hope field.
It's because I had this cool-ass young mother who was willing to... I told her I wanted to be a rapper. Now she's like, yeah, fuck it. You can be a fucking rapper. Let's do it. You're going to go to the Fresh Fest. And man, we've lost that hope. So your mother encouraged you. That's awesome. Because usually when kids say something about going into show business, it's like...
oh, let's hope it's a phase. He gets over and then he comes to his senses and will sell Kenny's shoes for the rest of his life. That is what makes a person... That was my bio day. Like, when I was thinking about becoming a comedian, that's all I was doing, thinking about it, because I was too afraid to say it out loud to anybody. I thought, first of all, unless you are a comedian, you're just going to be mocked. Mm-hmm.
I remember one, the first year of my post-college life, and I was living in New York in a shitbox and was home for Christmas. And at one point I had to, my parents were like, well, you're out of college and you haven't told us what you do. You know, because I didn't ask for, you know, I was very prideful. Yeah. You know, I'm
So no money. I was selling pot. Yeah. That was how I was getting by. Oh, of course. Yeah. College and the first couple of years as a comedian. I mean, that was essential to my... That's beautiful. You know, not that kids should try it that way. Anyway. Well, it's legal now. Yes, legal. Doing it completely legal. Oh, absolutely. It is good to know I'm in the league. It's a small majority. Oh, yes. Oh, no, no. I mean, I had...
thank God for that to keep me afloat. You have a drug dealer's wit about you, though. You know, by the time you get to the end of the evening, a dealer's saying it all. Your fucking weed joke isn't as funny as the first one he heard, so you got that about you. Give me my hundred bucks. Here's your ounce. Bye. That's what it's like.
No, it wasn't hard to get customers. I mean, college kids, come on. And then comedians, like being in the club was perfect. Yes. Like, you know, the bass player in the house band was a good customer and...
The aforementioned Richard Belzer still owes me about $1,200. Let's pay him, Rich. Don't be a dick. Let's get him. Let's get this man paid. Richard Belzer, such a magnificent comedian and was a mentor to me. Yeah. Like, he was like the big act when I got there and he kind of took me under. Y'all are a real community. Yes. So, I got to shout out, like, Ryan Davis is a brilliant young comedian coming up and Ryan is my friend. I've
I met him. I found him on Instagram, followed him, and we just built a friendship. Like, Ryan comes to Atlanta, he come to my house, stay as long as he needs to. But this motherfucker has walked me, like, into between him and my friendship with Dave Chappelle. I've gotten a chance to kind of be in y'all's community, just kind of shut the fuck up in the corner. You guys are an amazing community.
In terms of willingness to help one another, teach, learn. And you, unlike rappers, you know, rappers make a song. It's the best fucking record. Fuck you mean you don't like my shit? You know, and the whole time on the inside, you're like, man, god damn, this shit. But you guys put your insecurities out with yourself in front of the people. I told Ryan, I said, man, I want to do that shit. He's like, if you come to my show, nigga, I'm going to put you on stage.
And I'm like, nah. He's like, nah, I'm for real. And he put me on stage. I did 11 minutes. I said, what you think? He said, you're funny. You should have did five. Right? So I'm like, OK, I got to go to five. But Tip recently took up comedy, T.I., and started doing it. Is that right? Yeah. And your community, the comedic community, has really shown a lot of love to rappers that have popped. And it's not like you think you're going to ever be. Mike, you told me this in Atlanta. Yeah.
Remember when I said, I think, first of all, you're a natural. Oh, yeah. You know? And that you should do it. And just tell me how I can help. Yeah. Because, like... I'm going to get a shit of that. I kid, you know...
from Kid and Play, you know Chris, right? Mm-hmm. He was, I kind of started him in, because I could tell he's, you know, hysterical. They were. And he has made a great living, you know, Kid and Play actually play a lot of dates now too. Yes. But there was a time when they were kind of wandering in the wilderness and, you know, he's a fantastic comedian. He was on my Hawaii tour this year. And, you know, because same thing with rappers, you know,
Sometimes people aren't professional comedians, but you go, oh, they could be. There's a couple of actors that way, like Tom Hanks is not a stand-up comedian, but he could be. Gotcha. You know, Michael Keaton was. Really? Yeah, absolutely. And you can kind of see that. But you can tell when people like some actors who just, or some singers, they're just mouthing the word. Not mouthing, they feel, they emote, but they can't, they're not like...
A lot of performers are just... Their intelligence is very artistic and instinctive. But I feel like rappers in comics has to be a lot going on up there. It may not be savory. Yeah, yeah. And there's dumb comics too, and I'm sure dumb rappers. But basically...
You know, there's a lot of energy that you have to access something with, and we make it our art. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I mean, how do I, how have I always from the beginning written material? By doing this. I never once, or maybe once, tried to sit with a yellow pad and purposefully, it's like, no, what comes out when I'm like doing this with my friends?
Luckily, I'll remember something, some of it that was good. Yeah. You know, if I had a nickel for every, like, good one I left on the floor because I was like, oh, I'll remember that the next day. Like, ah, fuck, what were we talking about? Outcast DJ is like that. DJ cut master Swift. Swift is, Swift was born a comedian. I pray, I pray that, I'm just like, any show I book that's near where I can put you as a co-host or anything, you're going to be there. Let's put together a comic book
Rap super show I do it in a heartbeat Right, and you can do yeah, you can do time, you know comic time and then that would be actually a pretty good show Or we're very high And let's do it on the moon
Let's have a comic rap show on the moon. Shaquille O'Neal will help promote it. And let's watch that documentary on the Fyre Festival first. Because we don't want to get up to the moon and there's no toilet. Why haven't you done a cartoon yet? A cartoon? Yeah, man. For the venom you have for children.
You'd be an amazing person. I do not have venom for children. Well, you don't have a lot of I care to involve myself with. Oh, that's totally true. I want them nowhere near me. That's actually right. That would qualify. But that's not venom. That's just personal. That's not where you're
That's not venom, Mike. That's personal taste. Gotcha. Gotcha. You know, I mean, how are your kids? That's what I meant to ask. My children are great. I have a... How are the kids, Mike? They're great. My kids let me know that, hey, man...
Your kids get all of your personality, not just the parts you like. Now, how old are they? I have a 27-year-old boy named Malik. I have a 24-year-old daughter named Anaya. I have a 19-year-old boy named Ponyboy who we're waiting the kidney for. So you guys make sure that you're donating kidneys out there. He's on dialysis and just a trooper. He calls to check on me.
I was scared as hell, you know, how it would affect him, psychology. I mean, from a psychological standpoint. And then I realized he was still smoking weed and banging chicks for a while. And I had to say, oh, you can't. You can bang, but you can't be smoking weed, son. But he's good. And he has a 14-year-old sister who played her first year of JV ball. And we all cheered for her and talked shit to her, you know? Wow.
Wow. So 27 to 14. Yep. I started as a kid. I should not have been having children. Do not have children with teen. That's who you're talking to. But, you know, I feel like... When are you going to do it? When am I going to do it? You got to do it. Oh, sweetheart. You got to at least do like the rich white Hollywood people thinking like Adopt a Black Child. Sweetheart, if I got someone pregnant tonight... Yeah. And I'm going to try. No. Exactly.
I mean, I'd be like 82 when the kid got out of high school or something. You don't ever get compelled to just adopt a kid? Like, just, man, fuck it, I don't have kids. No. It would have hit me by now. I'm 66. And by the way...
In life, you see, as you're old enough to know, you travel down the path of life. Yeah. Some things change radically and there are turns in your life, right? With this one, me and not liking kids, it is a steady line like... All the way through a day. It's as flat as the earth according to... Okay, so... Yeah. Yeah.
I wish more... I wish more... I tell my children, and I tell my boys in particular, don't have kids. I had a good run. We've done... And my girls, they laugh. I didn't like kids when I was a kid. Yeah. Really. Really.
I didn't watch cartoons. I thought cartoons were childish when I was like... Really? Yes. I've heard you say that about comic books. I would only... Comic books, also stupid. I would never read them. I would only watch filmed shows like Superman or The Three Stooges. That, I felt, was up to my level of sophistication when I was five. I took it all in. Cartoons, my friends still make fun of me. They're like...
mention some cartoon character i'll be like bill who's you know i don't know the crazy stuff and i'm like he's a duck i know that and that's it you could you could get so much more in with a cartoon i as a kid i liked cartoons because i left my family guy my boyfriend before you get there like genius there were things that animaniacs and pinky in the brain could do
that regular TV couldn't do at the time and can't do now in terms of the messages they could say. Remember Aaron Magruder? I talked to Aaron two days ago. Hopefully I'll get to see him while I'm out here. Yeah. So Boondocks, my Brad Boyd, who's a former Fulton County prosecutor and later a judge that really helped a lot of kids get their life straight. Brad is a friend and mentor of mine since I was like 15. Brad comes in
I was sat on a board. I was on the children's section of a board called the Atlanta Foods Commission on Children and Youth. And Brad and I sat on the same board together. And Brad brought a newspaper because he would come to our Thursday meetings. So the other adults saw us once a month or a quarter. Brad was CBing every Thursday. We really built a relationship. He said, he put a piece of paper. He said, tell me what you think of this.
And he brought it in, you know, the next couple weeks. And before you know it, I was hooked on it. And I was telling Aaron that I recognized that the people who read the paper, the strip, the comic strip, like you may have read the comic strip, were different from the audience that watched the TV show. And he was talking about how times have changed and,
and just like how people don't understand, you can't just slap that show back on television. Just a nuance you have to rethink. It was amazing to me how much thought he puts into it and how much he cares. And I've seen this like resurgence of it. Like my 14-year-old knows the show and now wears...
The hoodies. Now they're selling, you know, you can go to anywhere, you can buy Nike, you can buy Boondocks. It's state of the art. Yeah, it's crazy. So cartoons, I think, have the potential, which is why, like, my non-bio dad introduced me. My dad was a police officer for a short time, but he was built to be that. Like, he's structured. He really should have went in military. But, you know, he had children at 19. He shouldn't have had me at 19. He should have went. He would have made a great soldier. But he's very structured. And he had to be. His dad died when he was 10.
My non-bio dad, his dad lived until I was in the second grade. My grandpa was the one who worked for Hall Steel.
His dad allowed his boys just to be college boys. So my dad was into fucking toy cars, puzzles, comics. And it was because I had these two different kind of men in my life that gave me like a yin and a yang. The real kind of heroic qualities that other kids would have to find in places that were unsavory, I had right there in front of me in the two guys. And my non-bio dad let me read comics. Now, when we went to the comic store,
It was those seedy, like, 70s, 80s bookstores. So I'm in the comic section of Dad's Behind Porn. He still gets some comic books, but I'm just like, oh, that's when you get the fucking Playboys. You know what I'm saying? So I really got a freedom of that, but I started to see the same type of morality talk that my grandmother would read in the Bible, what the Samson and Delilah mean. It was kind of the same thing I was seeing in Poison Ivy and Batman.
And I got, I started as a kid, what I was able to do was kind of see what, what, what that, the commonalities in human literature in terms of love, hate, romance. You saw it in that? I saw it in that. I saw it in comics early. That's interesting because I've heard people say things like that before. Yeah. You know.
I can understand how you'd miss it too. But, you know, as a kid, that's what it is. I just feel like it's appropriate when you're a kid. It's just not appropriate when you're an adult because like, I've heard people... Okay, like, yes, when you're a kid, but I've heard people say like, because I got into trouble once
You know, with Twitter and those people, when I said blog or something about Stan Lee when he died, and it wasn't mean about Stan Lee. It was just saying, you know, are we making kind of a big deal about a guy who wrote comic books? And it was like, Bill, like 40,000 Twitter followers immediately dropped me, like more than for any other issue.
So, and they were like, Bill, you know, I learned everything about social justice from comic books. I'm like, great, but now you have pubic hair. You know, read James Baldwin. You could do it in an adult way. One of my favorite authors. Right. I mean, you know, I mean, the plot of The Godfather is resolved differently than the plot of
A comic book movie. Yeah. Not with people shooting rays out of the end of their fingers. I can say I can't defend the movies as much. Logan, I thought, was incredible. And I liked The Last Avengers, but...
Like, the movies PG and dumbed down a lot of what I feel like the illustrated novels give you. Let me say that. I didn't like all comics. I just liked, you know, who I liked. Also, you know what? I mean, there's, like, what do they call them now? There's something that's, like, in between a comic book and a real book. Well, the illustrated novels. Is that what? Okay. I mean, I'm sure that there are more. I thought...
Yeah, they're more sophisticated than a comic book, right? Yeah. Okay. I mean, some comic books, like, you know, have always been a little more heady, too. Method Man is a reader of comics and an expert. Everybody is, but me. I'm not. I don't go to Comic-Con. I just feel like... Some things I just fucking feel like being snobby about.
And you all can kiss my ass. I don't really give a fuck either way about comic books or who reads them and you like them. Fine. I do stupid things. That's how I feel about reality television.
I don't watch that either. Oh, no. Really? I just don't give a shit. No. I don't give a fuck. And I feel kind of crazy sometimes because... I have to amend that. There is a show that is... Which one? You're going to fucking punch me. What? It's called Temptation Island. I know. I've talked about it on my... On real time. Really. You don't escape it, though. You know that.
That part of your brain that needs some ratchet shit. It's just... You don't escape those temptations. I love it. It's like 90 Day Fiancé or Cheetah. No, it's better than that. Is that? 90 Day Fiancé is pretty fucking funny. Now, this isn't like a, you know, it's Mark Wahlberg. Okay. Not that one. The other... Okay. He hosts it. I'm like, I must say, for a job that is like a step above playing piano in a whorehouse. What?
He does it so well. He's a husker in a whorehouse. But he does it so well. I swear to God, there is a skill and an art to being the host of Temptation Island. It could be done badly. So what the fuck is happening on Temptation Island? This guy will never get a Kennedy Center honor for this. I mean, he will be overlooked by all the academies. Join the club. But...
Yeah, he does the job really, really well. What's he doing? Well, the premise is they take four couples who have been together for a while so that they're appropriately tired of each other. Okay. And then bring them to an island, Temptation Island, where the women are separated and go to live in one house with a bunch of hot guys and...
Guys live in a house with a bunch of hot women, you know, so they're tempted. And then they go on dates with these people and they literally almost prop up their penis and say, here it is. So we see what happens. The four couples, you know...
And of course, they're evil. They film your date with the person who's tempting you. Show it to the other person. It's like cockfighting, you know. It is hilarious. And then, like, at the end, it is who stays together, who broke up. Like, this last season, there was a guy who lasted, like, one day. He got to the house with the chicks and he was like, you know what? I'm not going to make it through this anyway. I'm also going to get laid on the first night, you know.
Other people make it all the way through because they resist temptation on Temptation Island. Again, I don't know why I'm promoting this show except you asked me about guilty pleasures. Yeah, I mean, we all got it. Goddamn, I'm not going to watch Temptation Island. Well, Mike, I have to get back to my real job. Oh, I love and respect you, sir. Thank you so much for doing this. Dinner? You're having dinner? We're having dinner. Do you need these? No, I got plenty.
And your drug dealer friend gave me a lot of their main drug. It's a legitimate business in California. Thank you, man. Thank you.