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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. All right, put your phone away. What are you, a teenager? No, I'm just showing off. Oh. Gene, I've been to your house. I've seen the... Sold that one. ...vast room. Now it's at the Rio Hotel. It's Kiss World. You ought to, like, really quit music and teach a course in business. How much? I have to say, though, this property is...
Out of this world. Oh, thanks. The fact that you were smart enough or somebody told you, buy this, do this, and do that, just a fantastic property. Oh, good. Well, I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have you here at Club Random. I hope you'll come back.
Why? Is it over now? No, I mean, like in the future. Oh, we didn't even start yet. No, I don't mean as a guest. I mean, like this has been my party room for 20 years. We're just now also filming some of it. And by the way, it was a great fucking idea because otherwise somebody like you who I love and have known forever but never really sit down with...
Because we're the type of people we are, you know when we sit down and talk when it involves work? Because we're workers, we're workaholics, we're worker bees. People who get someplace usually are workers, even in the crazy business of show. It's in the DNA. And I don't understand the workaholic reference because that's a negative. And I think by the sweat of my brow and all that, we can't give birth, but we can work.
Who can't give birth men? I guess you haven't been reading the papers. Well, I know where you're going to, but so far, no. Well, Gene, not that we should really get onto that subject, but as long as you threw it down there as a gauntlet, it's a big thing these days that the part of the country that's crazy on the left is apoplectic that you think that there might be a slight more chance that
that a woman, that a man would give birth. Seriously. Well, I mean, I'm sure some mad scientist someplace can open up a cavity or thing and stick a child in there. No, it's not that. It's that people transition so that someone who was
born a woman is now, quote unquote, a man. A man. I mean, if you want to identify it, that makes you feel better and it blows your dress up. The new dress you just bought when you became a woman. Look, I have to say, in the interest of full disclosure for the fact, because our fans run the gamut of
from far left, far right, middle, conservatives, liberals, and there are two different sides to the same coin. There are many different kinds of Americans, and I fully support all of it. So for the record, I fully support anybody who wants to identify themselves as anything you want to identify, makes you happy, and then you die. That's all there is. But... Great, Senator Pussy, you have my votes.
Okay, we get it. But in every single DNA of every single cell in your body, you're either male or female. There are slight exceptions, the hermaphrodites and everything, but one is able to give birth and the other one is not. And actually, Dave Chappelle made a really interesting point, and I think it was in jest, and I think it was meant as a joke not to infuriate anybody. He said, LeBron...
LeBron James today decides that he's going to identify as a female. Right. And everybody applauds. You should have the right to do that. So he joins the – And WNBA. WNBA and scores 870 points the first game and destroys everybody. And that's all I'm saying. I think we all agree here in the Senate that everybody in this country, it's a wonderful world we live in now where you're free to be whoever you are, of course.
But there is a level where people who are just looking to bitch and make someone who is not them the bad guy take it to this silly level. And to be constantly harping on pregnant men is just silly. It's a Ripley's Believe It or Not. Yes, does it happen that someone who identifies, again, blah, blah, blah. Okay, great. But, you know, we're getting to this place in this country
not that we really should be getting off on this serious subject either, but you know what, it's important, where this is infecting medical schools. So it's affecting how people actually treat people. And then we're into the lives area, and that does matter. And they've already had situations where somebody was brought into the emergency room, and because they identified as a man, they didn't look that it might have been a pregnancy that was causing the problem, and it was.
So, you know, it can go too far. Thank you. Now, my running mate, Mr. Simmons and I. Running mate. Oh, that's right. You're the top of the bill. Yeah, we're politicians. I'm just the VP here. Well, I'm sure you would always be the president. But, Gene, are you not a little verklempt by two of the things in this room? Over there is that sign that says Playmates at Play. You saw that, right, when you came in?
Okay, that's the original one from the Playboy. That's where I met Shannon. And probably where I met you. Okay. I'm not saying my relationship. But you and I didn't in the same way that Shannon and I. No, I'm not claiming that. I mean, it is Hollywood. I'm not as important as Shannon in your life. I was at your wedding, but you weren't marrying me.
I concede that point. But that sign was the one that was on the driveway as you drove up to the Playboy Mansion forever. It was iconic. I recognize it. So when he croaked, they had an auction. Croaked. Nice.
Nice, Bill Maher, when he croaked. When he passed away, a little... Oh, Senator. Oh, come on. You're talking about Hugh Hefner, who, even though he had a lot of fun, really changed what the Germans called zeitgeist. Yeah, no kidding. And saying he croaked doesn't alter my opinion that agrees with that. He died, so what? He passed. Oh, for fuck's sake. These are semantics, but I'm not anti-semantic, okay?
See what I did there, kids? Okay. All right. That was a joke. Now, Gene, people are going to think you're an old Jewish gentleman. I am an old Jewish gentleman. Oh, that's right. How old are you? Me? No, the other guy. Yes!
Yes, Joe Biden. You. I'm 66. Well, I'm 73, bitch. So I am an old Jew. And a good Jew. And you're still out there. You're not only who you are. I mean, you're a rock star at 73. Now, that's impressive. That's a baller move. And you kind of look the same. Because, you know, what?
Hair. You got hair. Yeah. You just have to worship Satan, that's all. Well, that's it. You always look like you worship Satan, and you still do. Thank you, I think. No, I'm serious. Some people, you look at a picture of them in their heyday, and then they look at a picture of them now, and it's like, oh, it's night and day. You kind of have the same exact look. Bill Maher.
It's called no drugs, no booze, no cigarettes. See what you're doing there, that smoking thing? So I can hold my hand in front of my face and it won't shake because of what you put. I'm not a health nut, but the more crap you put, that stuff too, I mean, if it's a taste here and there, I'm going to shake my finger in front of your face. It's not good for you. Oh, Jesus Christ. When did you become Aunt Blabby?
Well, I've always been the same guy. Really? Yeah. I don't remember you nagging me this much. Okay, I'll quit. But I do recall having lunch with you someplace. Oh, yes. I think it was for our TV show. And again, my point, what were we doing? We were working, which is a shame because I always loved you. And I would love to talk to you. But yeah, it's just the nature of who we are. Yeah.
I don't chit-chat much, and I really don't have many friends. Right. Well, maybe none at all. No, that's so ridiculous. I don't mean that in the headline-grabbing stuff that it's meant to be, because I was almost crucified that I did some kind of interview someplace, and the Daily Mail and all these people picked it up. He has no friends, and he doesn't. It's not that. It's...
Usually when people talk about friends, it seems to me, hey, what are you doing? You want to come by and share a brewski and watch the game? I don't watch games and I don't drink. I don't go to bars. I don't go to ball games. But if I do, I'll go as the guest of the team or something. No, I think you're similar to me in that, oh,
I guess that's an ash that just fell. Okay, yeah, this is kind of a big stogie. Anyway, this don't hurt you. This is just a clove cigarette, Gene. Anything you say. But I think we're the same in that we like the two premium stimulators in life, which is sex...
And intellectual stimulation. I was just about to say, it's this and the schmeckle. That's all there is. That's all there is. And by the way, if you're not turned on here... Right.
Mr. Happy is going to work because we're animals, but it ain't the same thing as— No. Remember Dr. Ruth— I knew Dr. Ruth. She was about this— Yes. Quite well. What was her name? Dr. Ruth— Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Westheimer. For the kids, she was all over TV like in the 80s, 90s, maybe a little past that. She'd be putting condoms on cucumbers. Yes. You take this and you shove it up.
Yes, just like that. She was a doctor. You know, she was like, in another art was Dr. Joyce Brothers. She was kind of a successor to her. The TV liked these women doctors who could like talk about delicate stuff. Because they were women and doctors, it was okay. So Dr. Ruth Westheimer was like a four-foot-tall German woman with a thick accent. Jewish-German who wound up being a sniper in the Israeli army.
Sniper? She should have been a tunneler. She could get through the... No, she was a very... She was a real killer. I get it. I get the visual. Because of her diminutive nature. She was. But she's probably got a good count on those... But she would always say, I remember, the brain is the most important sexual organ. That's an interesting question. If you had a choice, you've got to lose one.
Either your schmeckle or the ability to think and come up with stuff. Well, again, as you say, it's almost a pointless question because one is useless without the other. I mean, first of all, you couldn't get a hard-on without a brain.
Yeah, but not necessarily. There's a kiss song. If you took off your staff of righteousness, then your brain would still be capable of doing the amazing things that somebody even in a wheelchair who's paralyzed can come up with, come up with string theory and so on. But if your brain stops, you're just... Well, I was at Larry Flint's bachelor party.
Now, can you imagine the concept of Hustler magazine? I knew Larry. Yes, I understand. And I remember... Especially his wife. He was... I loved Liz. Wonderful wife. Yes. But Larry was in a wheelchair, as you know. Somebody shot him coming out of court. Absolutely. Absolutely.
And, but it did not stop him from, I don't want to get too graphic, but it did not stop him from engaging in things that you would think really would only return rewards if you had a penis. What I'm saying is the male desire for certain things does seem to interestingly transcend actually having a working penis.
Then what other, I mean, the urge to merge involves what other? Well, I know, I'm trying to be delicate because, well. You mean he got off on it mentally and visually? I mean, he behaves like he still had a dick, even though he didn't. How do you do that, Bill? I, I.
I'm just saying he was like at the bachelor party. Okay, I guess I could say this because he wasn't married yet. It was the bachelor party. Although I'm not sure any wife would want to know this. But I do remember this. There was a table. It was like a Lazy Susan table. And there were, I think, eight women. And they were there ready to be orally serviced around the table.
So he serviced them, but he didn't get the pleasure. He was pleasuring them. I'm just saying, if I couldn't feel my dick, I think I'd take up another hobby like bowling or something. You heard it here first, folks. It's either Schmeichel or bowling. But, and this must give you...
- Verklemption, look at that, Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. That may be-- - That's my wife in the middle there. - I know, I think that's-- - No, not the one with the red hat, the one in the poster. - No, I know. I know, I mean, I think that's how I know you is because this was 1988. This was the classic Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, which went up. - Which is a real movie and you can get it. - Oh yes, it won 11 Oscars. - Adrienne Barbeau. - Adrienne Barbeau was in it. She is the head of the Cannibal Women.
Yep. I was Jim the Guide, and your wife, not wife at the time, but Shannon, your girlfriend at the time, was an ethnographer who was looking into the problem of these cannibal women. Now, tell me that's not a woke term, ethnographer. Yes. Yes, we were very ahead of our time in 1988, although...
It really was a commentary. It's actually kind of a funny movie. A commentary on feminism or I can't remember what. I just know I had a ball. I'm so tired of all these isms. What do you mean, isms? Well, the terminology. How about live and let live? Whatever you want to call yourself, whatever ism you're part of,
It's like a liberalism, conservative. It's like live and let live. Right. And just move on with it. You don't have to put a title on it. Everybody needs to, it seems, to define themselves. What tribe are you from? And we're all good, bad, or otherwise stuck in this great divide.
experiment really called America, and I don't want to get too philosophical about it, but there's never been a country like this. And it's worth, you know, I was invited to speak at the Pentagon. I know it sounds like, what? Not too long ago, about two, three years ago. And I went to the Pentagon at the behest of the Pentagon.
And got up there and I ran into Barbara Starr, CNN in the hallway, going, what are you doing here? I'm going, well, I'm going to speak at the podium. I'm going to address the media and everything else. She goes, why? I go, what are you doing here? She goes, well, I'm going to report. I said, okay, so report. But we connected immediately and I told her that the reason I'm there is to pay homage to
to the servicemen and women who don't hear enough of that. It's always about policy. In the meantime, people of all political persuasions are out there risking their lives every year, year after year, for an ideal. They may not agree with each other, but they'll risk their life and often give their life for this thing called America. And it's worth reminding everybody, it's like get off your high horse. The person who disagrees with you, yes, even the ones who stormed
Let the Justice Department take care of them, right or wrong. But they're Americans too. And the people who don't like the way you think and you don't like the way they think, you know who doesn't care? Anybody who hates America, they don't care about anybody. You think Mr. Putin cares about left or right?
You think Khomeini is a fan more of the left or the right? He doesn't like anybody here. So it's worth noting when and if aliens finally come to take over the planet, they won't have a clue what the differences are between the extreme left and the extreme right. They won't have a clue. You're just all Earth people. I would also say that not just aliens, but in 100 years, when historians look back on this period, if we're still around,
They also will not make a differentiation as we do between left and right. That's right. They will see common ways that both sides are really, really stupid and did stupid things like anti-science. You're anti-science. Well, you're wearing a mask outside. So...
Who's the bigger moron? I'm just saying there's lots of ways to be anti-science. I see it on the left and I see it on the right, of course, even more. They don't believe in global warming, things like that. I have a semi-associate somebody who firmly believes the Earth is flat. And members in our band, there's one member, and I love him to death, who believes in hoaxes, semi-QAnon and stuff like that. But so what?
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You're not the typical show person because you're a highly intelligent guy who sort of— Don't forget good looking. And what's the one you used to say? Powerful, smart, and— Powerful and attractive man. Powerful and attractive. You don't say it anymore. I do it all the time. Oh, good. How many times may I have said it before you? You haven't said it to me tonight, and you always used to say it. Bill, it's a private moment. Have I lost my attractiveness to you?
That's jail talk where I come from. I hope not. But don't forget your train of thought. What was it? Yes, important. I think it's that stuff. It took it away. So what? So you tell me. That's why you're here. No, tell me. What is it? I was on to something very important. You're right. You've got to roll back the tape. What were we talking about?
Oh, you're torturing me. I know you know because you're Mr. Sober. Mr. Celibate? Mr. Sober. Sober, yes. Certainly not Mr. Celibate. Is sober a reference only to alcohol or is it also to drugs? Absolutely. Well, alcohol is a drug. Alcohol is a drug? So is food, or it can be. You can kill yourself faster with food than lots of drugs.
I never thought of it that way. Really? You never thought of that? That food is, food kills more than any drug? You mean because of fat? Of course. Yeah. And I guess you could- And horrible food that has poison in it. And I suppose you could drown if you drink too much of that.
I'm not drinking at all. What did you just do? But that's not liquor. It's soda. I said water. You can drown if you drink too much of that. It's water. I'm sorry, Gene. I don't listen to the guests. I've got to tell you. They pay me the same whether I... It's my line, my line. Oh, yeah. You make a fortune with the podcast. Oh, yeah. Bullshit. If there was any money in this game, I'd be in it deep. Don't you read the papers? There's...
There's tons of money in this. It depends. Well, yes, of course, like anything. It depends. Oh, yes. If you're Rogan and you've got... Not just him, but, you know, there are... No, that's not why I'm doing it, but it would be erroneous to lead people to think that there isn't huge money. Now, why that is, I have no clue. Because if you said to me 10 years ago, hey, you know AM radio? It's going to be the hottest thing in 10 years. I'd be like, you're nuts. What could be lamer than...
And yet people, I remember when TV, I don't remember, but I remember reading about when TV started and they said talk show. What about a talk show? And everybody was like, who would just want to watch people talk? They thought it would have no appeal. And it turned out just watching people talk
is the biggest thing in the world. And it's been the cash cow of TV forever. And podcasting is just more people like to listen to other people fucking yammer. Depends who the people are. I know. But yes.
Why they'd want to listen to any other one than this, I have no idea, because this is the one to listen to, because it's actually like actual people talking in a very real way. But, you know, people listen to it for information reasons. I do that sometimes. I listen to something. Well, Bill...
People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. Now, I bet you you could have dated Barbra Streisand because you went out with Cher, right? And you went out with somebody else who was very... Diana Ross. Oh, Diana Ross. Oh, wow. I managed Liza. I know. Oh, yes, managed Liza. Wow.
But Diana Ross, yes, when I was 13, boy, I thought she was... I understand. I understand. But you, Mr. Rockstar, you get to live the fantasies that other men...
Fantasize about, right? Isn't that the deal? Listen, buddy. Is that why you sold your soul to the devil? Yes. Listen, buddy, you're a victim. Oh, poor me. I'll sit here in the corner with my crust of bread. I've seen the chicks around you. You do just fine. Okay. Mom!
When we had that shindig at the Key Club, I don't remember what it was. We did? I had a party at the Key Club. Oh, I know what it was. It was my solo record. It was a party for Asshole. And I think that's the name of the record. Because I've been called that once or twice. I've heard that before. You know, I remember you and Shannon having some rows.
I mean, it's amazing that you two, I mean, the bond between you two, I know it's very strong. I remember. Well, look. So it lasted through lots of, or you, right? Come on. It was never vitriol, and it was never sort of that physical stuff, but there's no question that in the 29 years that
that Shannon and I were together before we got married because I was, just for the record, arrogant, self-absorbed, just an asshole who was only thinking about myself. Why did you do this? Because I wanted to do it. Who you ask? Where are you going? Where am I going? Who wants to know? That sort of thing. I was even arrogant enough to give Shannon a piece of paper that said,
Full disclosure. I never want to get married. I never want to have kids we can live together but I don't want to be told what to do like full upfront and Yeah, but you know, I mean, I know I know no no, no I mean, I think that's admirable that you're honest like that I also believe in honesty in relationships But I also I'm not gonna pretend that no matter what you say on the intellectual level like put it on a piece of paper You can read it. It's different or
when the shit is actually happening. I mean, Gene, you're a dog. I say that with the greatest respect. No question. I heard Shannon like I've never just... Without...
I can't even use the right words. The amount of pain I caused her and the kids too. And I remember when you were also mad at her probably because she did something retaliatory. I remember you being mad. With what? With her because she probably did something retaliatory. I remember things. I don't recall and it wouldn't matter to me because at a certain point it was this...
Even assholes and arrogant ones every once in a while just sort of take a stock of their lives and understand that there is nobody like. Shannon is my Jesus. She's the only one. Wow. She's the only one who's ever really understood me and stuck by me for 29 asshole years. Right. And never tortured me enough to dump me. You're a little like the Clintons. You know, when people...
said because people just like to run their mouth and they don't know anything and I don't know anything about what goes on inside of a relationship but I feel like people want to always make things more exotic than they are so with Bill and Hillary Clinton it was always you know it's an arrangement and
And my view was, it's not an arrangement. He's a dog. Yep. That's it. But he really loves her and she really loves him. That's a little more complicated, but it's the truth. You know, I mean, she said at the time something like, I could have left him, but at the end of the day, I've never met a more interesting person and I don't think I ever will. You know, I mean...
That lets me off the hook too easily, and I appreciate that thing. No, that's true. In hindsight, though, I thought I was –
taking the high road by being up front at the very beginning of the relationship, and yet I found myself buying a house, moving in together with Shanna, doing a will, making sure she'd be taken care of, making sure the kids liked acting as if we were married, but never wanting to be married because...
The moment came when I had to understand I was afraid of getting married because I didn't want to become my father. My father left us. See, I even said us instead of me. My father left us when I was about seven years of age, just like so many fathers do. You were living in? Israel. Israel. And I was the only child to my mother, and my mother did everything.
to the day she passed at 94. Never stopped looking at me, calling, flying just beyond the angel of all angels. And I thought, what's the difference between my father and myself? And I couldn't figure it out, so I wanted to make sure I would never hurt anybody else the way my father hurt my mother. I would see her in the middle of the night crying her heart out and crying
you know, trying to blame herself. What did I do wrong? And so on. And I heard Shannon say the same things to me when I'd break her heart over and over again. Life is just always going to include both being hurt by other people and hurting other people. I mean, it's like we're in one of those bumper car...
things in the amusement park and you're in a bumper car. You're going to get bumped by other bumper cars. And sometimes you bump them and sometimes they bump you. But as long as you're going around the track... It's not the same. No, it's not the same. Of course, it's an analogy. No, I don't mean that. I mean the amount of pain when your lady, when your girlfriend, your wife gets hurt, it goes...
I know. Way deeper than it does to you because either we're designed or the DNA or whatever. And I've been hurt in the past, but I remember at a little, when I was about seven, seven and a half, my mother had to go work. She was working six days a week from seven in the morning until late at night, seven, eight o'clock.
And in the middle of the night, I woke up and my mother still wasn't home. And I was scared. There was nobody around. And you hear dogs barking, scared to death, and went out on the balcony and started crying. You know, where's my mother? Where's my mother? And yeah, I've been a mama's boy all my life. And where's my mother? I remember this distinctly. And finally being scared and starting to cry, you know, hysterical and terrified.
I must have done it for at least an hour, maybe more, and then finally exhausted falling asleep. And I remember up here in my mind, the next morning I woke up, my mother was there, and it was fine. And then I didn't verbalize it to myself, but I validated the idea that emotions didn't get you anywhere.
that this too will pass and don't put all your eggs in the basket of emotion. So when I went to junior high school and everything, my nickname was Mr. Spock. It's like I didn't, not making this up. Hey, Spock, come on over here. Because I thought nothing got me angry, nothing got me. It was a way to, it was armor because I didn't want to get hurt anymore. The exact same thing happened with me. Really. Really.
I was dumped in high school, my first girlfriend. And it was like, to this day, the most devastating thing because you're just so unprepared for it. And something clicks in you and you go...
The thing I can control for happiness is me, which means career. The thing I can't control with happiness is love, because even though it's fucking awesome, they can get hit by a bus, or they can dump you, or it can just grow old, or, you know, things change. It's like two dragonflies. You see those dragonflies? They fly in these pairs. Like, somehow they just never deviate from one from the other, even though they're darting around. People, we're not that good.
We're not dragonflies. I will always be Shannon's dragonfly. Wherever she goes, I'm right. But you were a dragonfly who got a lot of pussy on the side. I have. I know. Don't you have a book with like 5,000...
Shannon and I came clean before I married her. I said, no secrets, no nothing. I showed her all the photos and all that stuff. And we had a photo burning ceremony together. Oh, you burned them? Together.
What a tragedy. Jesus Christ, Gene. There are a lot of photos. I know. But why couldn't you have given them to Club Random? Or to you. No, I'm saying I would have paid good money. What's Club what? This is Club Random. Oh, Club Random. This is. They would go well here on the walls. But, okay. So...
First of all, you would document every encounter? Almost all of them. Right. So you're the one who kept Polaroid in business. Yeah. That's a guy. It was all, you know that phrase in movies, oh, they meant nothing to me? They didn't. They meant... Well, that's not very nice to them.
Yeah, but it was up front. You know, you wake up with somebody whose name you never bothered to learn, even if they don't stay the night. Right. Well, no, most people don't have that experience because, again, rock star is a different category. Yeah, I understand. I get it. It just is a whole different thing. Something about music goes right to the pussy. Culturally, if I was a plumber or a dentist, it wouldn't be the same thing. I get it. If you were a dentist, you'd be a lot of drilling. Good enough. Yeah.
You don't have to be the best-looking guy, whatever. If you've got a guitar around your neck, you're not going to be lonely. Especially if you're massively popular and play stadiums like Kiss. I mean, that kind of has a little something to do with it. And there's something to be said about studying what it is about that. And power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Yeah, Darryl Hall was here about two weeks ago and man, he cracked me up. I said, you know, Rockstar, how hard is it to like, I guess we're talking about the wife or divorce or something. How hard is it to, you know, not to be faithful? And he just said, impossible.
I understand what he's saying, but I got married at 62, 10 years ago, and I will tell you it's possible if you have that...
And men are dogs. If you have that moment with yourself where you're going to basically admit to yourself, I don't want to die alone. I want to die. Right. But it's also because it happened in 62. It's true. And not 32 because what happened is that your horniness waned and died.
that's like a blessing. It's almost, I think it's the male equivalent of menopause or something. It's like when you're like, I feel like I'm in the exact right amount of horny writing this time in my life because it's not like a monkey on my back all the time. Unless you like that sort of thing. Yeah.
Look, I firmly believe that the male of the species has loose screws. And scientists tell us we think about sex every eight seconds. And it goes all the way back to when we were 12 years old and the bell would go off to the next class and Johnny's not standing up because...
You know, he's got the full erection. And Johnny, can't you stand up? What's it? Can't you control yourself? No, I can't. You have no control over that. We can't fake liking that. So, yeah. So men, men are flawed. We are. The fact that women straight relationships every give us the time of day.
They know deep down inside, and they should keep us on a short leash because the tendency of men... No, but see, being on any kind of leash, already you just lost me, and no relationship, I think, is going to succeed if anybody's on a leash except for the ones where, you know, perverts are like...
That's their kink is they're literally on a leash. But I mean, metaphorically on a leash, no. I will say that there are bright...
men in the world. And as bright as I think I am or don't think I am, there's no question that the word wisdom doesn't apply to me. Shannon is far wiser than I will ever be. There are things you can learn, quantum physics and string theory and all that, if you really study hard and understand the concept.
You can't learn wisdom, and that comes with being able to give life, and only women can do that. It's my mother and Shannon and...
I don't cry when I think about you or any other man. Why would you cry when you thought about me? Well, or anybody else, you know, a friend. It doesn't get to you deep. But if I think of Shannon or my mother, it's deep and my knees buckle. Because I know that above and beyond all the words and all the...
sinful stuff I've done. There's a kind of love that exists there that exists nowhere. You've got to let this guilt go, bro. I'm telling you. Oh, I don't feel guilt. Been there, done that. You were the lead singer in Kiss. Am. Yeah, that's right. With Paul. I know. But I'm just saying, this has gone on for like 50 years. Yeah. You can't compare...
That position, you know, on the horny level and, you know... Well, I'm only talking about myself. I'm not qualified to make a statement about any other man. But this adage, a man is only as loyal as his options, is relevant...
Generally, depending on how old you are, yes. Generally, in the earlier years, it's about the options and how selfish you are and whether or not you care enough about anybody else other than your own things. And the younger you are, the stupider and more arrogant you are. And maybe this is cynical, but the hard truth of that is you were able to do that because of what happened physiologically.
Because you just don't have as much horniness coursing through your body, making you go in this other direction. That leveled down and that allowed your brain to sort of... Okay, you know the story you told us about Larry, Larry Flynn? Yes. It was later on in life.
I remember nine girls and anything. So whether he was physically able to perform or not, the opportunity was there. Bill, there's always... His tongue still worked. So there's always opportunity, but I have no...
whatsoever on any level. And by the way, I don't give a fuck what anybody else may think. Shannon and the kids know the truth. They've gone through all the heavy seas. You know, I'm pretty good friends with Nick. That's good. Can I tell you something honestly? Of course. I like him a lot better than you. Totally.
You know what? And I love you. And you know what? I do too. I really do. Your kid is so great to hang out with. You should meet Sophie, who's getting married in February. Right. I think when I did that reality show with you, we had that lunch, I think what we were talking about was...
what the, you know, spontaneous conversation was about was Sophie had a boyfriend or something and of course you called me for advice. Don't you love show business, Gene?
And so she's gotten, oh, that's nice. He's a Mormon. No. He comes from a Mormon family. Come on. No, wait a minute. Don't just label his family are strict Mormons. He is not. He grew up in the family. They've been living together eight years. No drugs, no booze, no cigarettes. Of course, he's a Mormon. Works hard. Sweetheart, whatever blows your tabernacle. Oh.
I'm fine with. I'm like you. Live and let live. Especially with the conservatives, you know. I refuse to join this ugly liberal pack of people who are like, I wouldn't breathe the same air as someone who voted for Trump. Fuck off. I wouldn't vote for Trump either, but you're just an asshole. I agree. There are some very, and I'm friends with them in our own community,
traveling small city of 60 people. Some are avowed Trump fans and they're good family people. They don't necessarily believe in Oath Keepers or any of that stuff. It's complicated. Of course. It's complicated. And they have a right to live in this country just like you do and they're Americans too. Yeah, right. And so this whole, we better figure this out pretty quickly. So true. My recommendation to everybody else is get rid of all the titles.
pluralism and feminism and all this kind of stuff, just stand up for yourself. And we're lucky as hell to be living in America. I'll tell you that there was a
An interviewer happened to be a conservative on a college campus, and it was an interview. It doesn't matter what his name is. The college kid who, of course, has all the resume and experience that life can give them having just entered college, fucking moron, walks up to this conservative guy who's got a microphone. What do you think about this guy? You're an evil celibate, and you're thinking you shouldn't be riling up. I'm going to call the cops. He goes, what?
Please do. I'm on public property. I just want to hear what you have to say. And the college kid was saying, I'm a thisism and I'm a thatism and you're not. So? And he's going, I just want to find out what you're thinking. And the big problem, it seems to me,
is that everybody is so ingrained. There was another on Bullshit, the show that Penn and Teller are doing, they actually sent people out. There was a Greenpeace demonstration and people were going up to the people marching in the Greenpeace. What are you marching for? Don't kill the whales and all. What is the march all about? There's too much rain.
They had no idea. It's this kind of lemmings marching together without understanding what it's all about. In fact, point of order, the person who originally started Greenpeace quit because it started off as a
Let's make the planet better. Don't kill all the whales, et cetera, et cetera. It became a political party. You couldn't be on the right and be part of Greenpeace, so he quit. I got to throw a little flag on this play just because I hear this all the time. Whenever people want to sort of
put forth this idea of some airy-fairy, too-far-left, crazy cause, they always go right to save the whales. And I just got to stick up for the whales and say, I really think that's a real thing. I really want to... Oh, it really is, of course. Okay. I mean, there is a lot of silly stuff. But whales, we shouldn't... I mean, we're killing the oceans. Well, let's not...
It's a party. Let's not bring everybody down. I do know some very important people who are putting skin in the game and are making some big changes. Really? There's a guy who I've become pals with who happens to be the biggest guy in Australia. And I don't know if I should mention, why not? He's public anyway. Andrew Forrest. And he has taken me around
And we started talking about he's got a huge company that's worth billions and billions of dollars in mining, in materials, and shipping, and all this stuff. And he's switching over. He promised us to go carbon-free. And I'm going to look up just a quick thing just to make sure I don't misstate it. Well, you know, Gene, usually we don't allow...
phones here at what? Well, it's not a phone. That's a cell phone. Invented, by the way, in Haifa, Israel. The technology. Israel's killing it with the technology. With technology and... I have Netanyahu is coming on real time at the end of this season. I'm a big fan. It was all political and whether his wife ordered $14,000 for drapes and all that, it's all bullshit. And what about modest Yahoo? Ha ha ha.
You don't remember him? Modest Mouse. No, he was like an Israeli rapper. I remember, you don't remember that guy? I've heard of him, yeah. I remember I was at, I think it was the Sundance Film Festival, and he was there. English guy, I think. Maybe, but he... A Hasidic kind of a... Yes, because he like, there was a little bit of controversy. He wouldn't get on stage like with a woman. I mean like... I used to be a Hasidic Jew. I used to have Hasidim, but I don't believe them. The payers? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Wow. Yeah, I studied to be a rabbi, the whole thing. That could have been the kiss look. Well, my Hebrew man. You went with the other one, though. I was born Chaim, but I can't be in a stadium going, Chaim, Chaim. Dress British. Oh. Think Yiddish.
By the way, could I take this opportunity, since I know you're a busy guy and a sexy and powerful man. Powerful and attractive. Powerful and attractive man. So I don't know when I'm going to see you again. But would you pass an apology for me along to Paul Stanley? And I'm not an apology person, but I remember he was on Politically Incorrect, I think the first year or maybe the second.
And I feel like there was a moment when I used him like as a, it wasn't nasty, but like something about a star over your eye. Because, you know, but he was not in makeup. And I think I, you know, I was young. It's kind of a stupid thing you do when you're young. And I always felt bad about it. Because he's a smart guy. He's your partner, right? He's the smartest, best partner you could ever have.
The brother I never had, you know, from my mother. Really? You just said you'd have friends. Now listen to how you're talking about it. If it's different, you know, we live a mile or two from each other, but we don't go and grab coffee and talk about it. Because you're on the road together a lot. Yeah, that's right. Of course. Well, but you've got more than just, hey, how about those Mets? Right. It's not enough. Right.
Right. Got to be more. I was on your show when Whoopi was on. And Whoopi, who's very bright, you know, in her own way, we were talking about Vietnam. And I went on record. And actually, you sided with me back then. You have changed, Bill Maher. Really? On what? Yes, you have. I said...
This is a little simplistic because the body politic worldwide is much more complex. We promised Ho Chi Minh that Vietnam would be independent, and then we went back on it because the French were torturing them since 1954. Yes, I used to teach sixth grade, and then he went to Yale, met with politicians, and then we reneged because we found oil there. Surprise!
We reneged about them going. And of course, that's when he went to the north and said, we're not going to allow the Europeans to take over. And then Vietnam started. And he sided with the communists. He wasn't a communist. He just wanted to be independent. And if you take a look at Vietnam historically, they were never going to join Vietnam.
China or Russia. They just wanted to be a free country. Vietnam fought a war with China four years after we left. That's exactly correct, and people aren't aware of that. And now if you go into North Vietnam, they have Four Seasons hotels and everything. They just want to be left alone, like lots of people in Ukraine. Places like that? Vietnam?
Pardon? Does Kiss play places like that? Vietnam? Not yet. China? Not yet. But you would? Of course. Why not? Then why don't you? You play Japan. Well, it's just show me the money.
What? It costs... But you're on tour now, and you're... No, but it's not the same. Bill, the... Because it's so far away? And you've got to fly or ship. Yeah, you... And that's a million bucks just to get started. Right, because all your equipment... And once the... The makeup alone must be one plan. A lot. I wear more makeup and higher heels than all your girlfriends combined. So once you put the trucks on the road...
then it's, you know, then you can make it work. But I was going to make a point about Vietnam and you killed it because you went to the joke. Well, I forgive you. No.
Oh, so I did your show, Politically Correct and Whoopi's. Incorrect. The sign's right there. And Vietnam came up, and I said, this is not a popular one, but I fully support the troops going in there and trying to prevent, you know, sort of the manifest destiny of communism because Europeans did that in America. Let's spread it and go country and take over the countries. Fully support it.
Breaks my heart that Americans were dying there. So it's too complex, too easy to say, I support it. Now go fight the war. I understand that.
But historically, we did the right thing. And historically, we did the right thing by stopping the North Koreans from spreading. Otherwise, they wouldn't be a South Korea. And communism would. And eventually— So you accused me of changing, but— You were on my side. I agree. And I still am. And I've never said anything other. So for the record— For the record, yes.
We, communism, I've said it many times, I was never a Reagan fan, but when he said it was an evil empire, completely true. Of course it is. Okay. Now, um...
This thing about him ending the Cold War, he played his part on the stage, and I give him credit for that. He had the coup de grace, but it was a bipartisan effort over many decades to defeat communism. But I also, like, I don't usually get that patriotic tingle in my balls for that Republican bullshit, but when Reagan said, when they asked him what's his strategy in the Cold War, he said, we win, they lose.
No, that doesn't mean you have to throw out the baby with the bathwater. On that area, you disagree with. It doesn't make him a complete asshole. No, I'm saying I like that. We win, you lose. I don't agree with that. No. Because Zig Ziglar, who came up with the… Zig Ziglar? Yeah, he wrote the… Oh, you don't know what that is? No. It's a philosophy in negotiating. The win-win. Zig Ziglar.
You've heard of win-win. Yes. Negotiate. Well, the truth is somebody wins a little more. That's how we both win. Truthfully, somebody wins a little bit more. Zig Ziglar wrote the idea. It's a negotiation. Right. I see. Okay.
No, they don't have to lose. You can't push it in their face because living well is the best kind of revenge. So the glasnost actually means let's denuclearize. You can do whatever you want. We'll do whatever we want. Truthfully, we win because capitalism is a better system.
Let them be communists. Don't bother anybody else. Stay within your borders, and we'll stay within our borders. We're not going to because we don't do that kind of stuff. And P.S., we win. The dollar is still going to be king, and your ruble, not so much. So I'm curious now that you're – I mean, it's hard to have you here and not want to talk politics because I want – no, really, because I do want to know what you think about this because, again, I don't know if I can see you again. So where are you like –
I mean, I don't assume anything about anybody. Let me just hopefully say you do think Trump lost the election, right? Of course he did. Okay, great. I just have to ask everybody. Now let me respond for the record. When he first ran in 2016, when he first got elected, I was happy. Happy about what? I knew the guy from before then. Right, you were on The Apprentice.
Yeah, but a little, you know, see him in clubs and stuff like that. And for the record, he had Bill and Hillary at his wedding and Howard Stern went to his wedding. So what? He's not a politician. But my point, I want to say for the record...
And people will tell you who know me, oh, yeah, Gene was happy that Trump won. I was. I didn't want Hillary to be happy. I thought, oh, businessman is coming in. He understands how to run things. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yes. That's the stupidest reason. I am sometimes stupid. No, I'm just saying running a business is so different than running a government.
That the idea that somebody would be good at running government because it works precisely the opposite way. Tell me why. Because you can't just fire the board. It's a Congress. You have to work together. This is what the main thing and not the main, but one of a thousand horrible things in that moron's head is that you can just act like a king. He doesn't even, he doesn't understand. He became, he became. He doesn't understand how government works and doesn't care to learn. I agree.
The person that I saw first coming into power is not the person I saw within a year or two of that. Also ridiculous. He's been the same douchebag for 50 years. What are you talking about? I'm not sure I know what you mean by that. It's a little vague. Yeah.
But I changed the way lots of people change. Look, I thought Biden was going to come in and be a major force. You know, I've got some big reservations about the man, not about his ethics and morality, but just about his physical ability to do all that. I would think you, of all people, being 73, wouldn't want to be an ageist like that. You know, this is so funny. I am an ageist. I am an ageist, depending on
The vibrancy and the mental alertness of what you've got. At a certain age, you can't look at a person and not say, okay, you're X number of years old. Now, how sharp are you? You're talking about the most powerful person on the planet. Right, who's had, I thought, a pretty amazing last six months. Communication skills. I'm not talking about policy. Communication skills are flat.
There is such a thing as the cult of personality. And I like the man, but the ability to communicate a message is nil. Okay, but you've got to ask backwards. Policy is the dog. No, no. And communication skills is the tail. The important thing is policy. Yes, it's important. That one I don't agree with.
You're saying that the words are more important than the deeds. Initially, yes, because the first impression you have of a female walking up to you before you talk with her is the impression. And then you find out where and who and what she had done. As a male, you understand that. And the first impression I have of somebody coming on screen, it's the Nixon-Kennedy debate. The
They weren't listening to what the debate was all about. Nobody understands political platforms. All they saw was the 5 o'clock shadow of Nixon and the little beads of sweat. That's all they remember. And Kennedy was a good-looking guy, was able to put a sentence together. Do people remember what the political differences were? Not at the least. And it's so interesting you bring that up because in 1960—
The political differences between the two parties were fairly minimal. Totally agree. Tip O'Neill was a great politician. Both sides of the aisle worked together, and then something happened. It is scary the way this country, coming out of World War II, into the 60s, you would say, like, were... Oath keepers and all the QAnon. Like, we were very... I mean, what... The differences on stuff was...
workable. And that's why they did make deals. And then we just moved so far. Generally speaking, I'm a centrist. I don't like AOC and I'm not a fan of Bernie, but I think they're both fine people. I do like Mitt Romney and Miss Cheney. I do like that. And both sides hate you for saying those things because they both want you to align yourself with what
What the marching orders are. If you're a Democrat, it means this. You're a progressive. I'm not a progressive. I know that business has to involve people who don't agree with you. You're Gene Simmons of KISS. They can kiss your ass. What the fuck? Some do. Really? I mean, the haters are going to hate. You know, yes, you're right. But there's so many people in this country who I just think...
They're just so pissed off, and I can't blame them. There's many reasons. Both sides. Yes. They're just pissed off, and they want to break shit, like the Capitol thing. They just want to break shit.
And you kind of can't blame them because they are getting squeezed. But you can blame them because the people who don't agree with them will use that as a tool and say, see, they're burning our cities, whatever it is, progressives or ethnic or religious groups. Look at that. They're burning our cities. That's evil. Right. No, you can complain about that because images...
The most important thing initially I am reminded and I'm doing some business in China. I'm reminded of that one brave Chinaman No, not a a male a male who's Chinese a China man It we don't say that anymore. I promise you I'm I'm promise you I could really fuck
He is a male Chinese person. Tell me how to say that. So a Chinese man is standing in front of a tank. There you go. Oh, I'm using the right words now. So a tank is about to run him over at Tiananmen Square. This is June of 89. You will never forget that image. 89. That's right.
And what were the differences of the political structure? What did the guy in the tank feel? You don't care because that image becomes iconic and supersedes and nullifies all the other...
And so I'm saying that when the good intentioned people come into cities and break things and burn things, you understand where the anger comes from. But the effect visually is the most negative thing you can have. I would say this to that.
You've picked a strange example to illustrate your theory that optics are more important because yes. Initially. But, but yeah, because yes, the Tiananmen Square guy standing in front of the tank is iconic and everybody saw it. And China all these years later is more authoritarian than ever. So it didn't fucking work. No, that's not. No, no, no. Hence my point. I'm a pushback.
This happened this week in Hong Kong. There was a football match, and they played the Chinese national anthem. And in Hong Kong, the entire audience booed.
and made a lot of noise. No, no, no. Sometimes when you plant a seed, it takes a while. In an authoritarian regime, it takes longer. You don't have the freedom. Just like in Russia. Somebody has an opinion, you get whisked off to jail, they don't see you for 10 years, and that's what's happening on the streets now. No, it's not the same. That image will never go away. And those ladies...
in Iran and the Persians are a great people this is a fire this is a little spark that's been lit and you will never stamp that out it may not happen right away again Gene odd choice because there was something called the Arab Spring in 2011 and it did precisely get stamped out it's just the beginning democracy is not easy and there's stops and starts to everything in life
So, yes. Once women publicly in an authoritarian theocracy dare risk their lives to make a statement about their freedoms, game over. May not happen right away, but you've got something to point to.
Because if it's never happened before, I mean, Russia was never a democracy, ever, in its entire history of existence. And you're talking about Iran, too. I mean, I know they vote in a theocracy, but it's not real. Just like Russia in the...
Ukrainian lands. No, your point about America is not wrong. It's so messy, but it's the best thing human beings have created. I know you don't follow me on television, Gene. It's all right. I watch you all the time. Really? Sure. Tell me more. Ha, ha, ha.
I watch you all the time. Thank you. Oh, good. Then you know, I am always making this statement about, I did it last week, about immigrants, the only people who seem to really love America. I am one. I know. But they're the only people who seem to love this country. Everybody else, I was saying, I don't know why you're all fighting for it so much. You don't seem to like it. But immigrants, because they came from a place that was worse, have so much perspective about it. Or have, or have.
the opportunities here that would never have back home. That's all you need. But I would like to, there's a better Bill Maher than I see on your show. A better one? Yes, there's a better one, a more effective Bill Maher. And I'll tell you what it is. The one right here? The one sitting right there. I know there is. And I know that you speak from a point of view of your own truth. And sometimes it doesn't make sense
the most sense for somebody to stand in front of you and say, that's a fucking ugly dress you're wearing, even though that's the truth, because it has a negative effect or hurts the people or they turn against you. So when you go into the vitriol against Trump,
You're talking about an entire culture of people, 70 million plus people who voted for the man. Because, by the way, they believed in it. Now, hold on. I think there's a middle point of how to refer to these people. I stick up for these people all the time in the sense that I— He was the former president of the United States. I understand. Not a moron. I know exactly who he is. A total moron. Ha!
Not just a moron. The thing that's so dangerous about him is that he's stupid and he's crazy. I swear to God, he's stupid and crazy. He doesn't know anything. He doesn't care about knowing anything. You're making lots of new friends. And he's an absolute narcissist. But you can say that you disagree. But what I always have said, Gene, is you can hate Trump. You can't hate the people who vote for him. They, like me now...
The P even when they don't agree with a lot of my policy stuff, because I do stand up for this idea. I agree with you. We have to, we have to walk it back from where we are of just hating each other and despising each other. And I don't want to breathe your air. Fuck your air. It's not yours. It's not yours, right? You have, it's a big country with lots of people that don't think like you act like you and you have to learn to share. Yeah.
So, all right, I got to go. By the way, he's very bright. He knows exactly what he's doing. And you can say, I really... Yes. Oh, Gene. I don't like what he's doing. I don't agree with what he's doing. But when you hit the ground...
and go moron, idiot and stuff, you're opening the door for somebody else to throw. Well, Gene, I have to, the show is called Real Time. With Gene Simmons. My other show was called Politically Incorrect.
I, my brand is I'm just going to tell you the truth. Yes, it may hurt some people. I'm so sorry that the people who go to the Trump rally are wounded because I called their cult leader a moron. But you respect the people. You may not respect who they're going to see. Okay, that's right.
That's the important thing that makes intelligent people like I hope you think I am, even if we disagree, is that you can keep two disparate thoughts in your mind at the same time. Because life is like that. Before I came on your show, Shannon, who's always there to provide me with wisdom, she said, Gene.
You're about to go on politically incorrect. Remember, your fans run the spectrum of beliefs and tastes. And she's right. Instead of...
Right. Gene Simmons just opening up and this is truth, this is my truth, this is what it is. I've also got to think about people's feelings because the people who disagree with, let's say me instead of you, who disagree with my point of view passionately believe in theirs. They as much passionately believe in theirs as I do in mine. So there's no, we can find common ground by saying God bless America. Really, because it allows both
or all the different variations to coexist without resorting to arms. Yes, but the most, I think you're missing the bigger point, which is... Am I? Yes, because you have this special place in this equation you were describing, which is this. We are at each other's throats. We need things that we agree on in common. People can go to a KISS concert together.
of all non-political well and also you can be standing next to a guy who if it wasn't you both loved kiss right you would hate him if it was a political discussion you don't have to hate him you can disagree but here's something that we oh my gosh we both love this and it transcends it all so you are on a mission and i and we need more music festivals that invite everybody
Where you don't talk about part. By the way, the reason they have curtains in voting booths, because it's nobody's fucking business who you're going to vote for, left or right. And I think that's a good piece of advice for all of us. Keep your opinions to yourself and vote at the booth. You have proof. You touched me. I loved it throughout this entire amazing hour we had together.
You basically addressed the camera. And I was really only like a secondary character in the room. I love that you... All right. I have to go back to my other job. You should be sitting. A man your age should be sitting more of the time. Come here. You want me to stand? Okay. Come here. You don't want that. And you know how tall my son is. Yes. Oh. Here.
He is so cool.