Boy George | Club Random with Bill Maher
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How are you? Don't get up. I'm not. I wasn't getting up. I'm like stuck here now. Great pleasure to meet you. That's good, you know. Wow, I knew you'd have a hat on. Well, I did debate it. That's a classy one. I like that. I actually had this made, literally, in the last two days. I kid you not. This beautiful woman, I've forgotten her name now,

She's just made this in two days because we, our hats are in transit because we're on tour. You mean a fan made it for you? No, a hat maker. But a fan? No. No? I'm paying for it. It's not free. Why aren't they a fan? What's wrong with them? Well, maybe she is a fan. A lot of people who make hats are fans of mine.

-Millionaires and makeup artists. -I'll bet. People that sort of, you know, work around the head. And why do you suppose this sartorial choice, what does that say about you, a person that they want to wear hats? Is there something you think that... I mean, it's a... Some people are hat people and some are not, but it's a minority. When I was a teenager, I didn't have great hair. I had it like when I was a kid, I had amazing hair and I could do a lot with it, and I did do a lot with it, but I tortured it. The little hair I had, I had very thin hair.

And as I got older, it's got thinner. So I, although I have hair, I do have hair quite as much as you. Do you want me to move it? Oh, you have a nice head of hair. But I just love hats because they kind of just extend the moment. They add a sort of certain... Yeah. And also hats, as you just said rightly, there are hat people and there are people who look so ridiculous in hats because...

hats have to wear you. And that might sound crazy, but that is a fact. You know what I learned too late in life? I mean, thank God I learned it at some point. But like when I was younger, I would obsess about every... When I was much better looking, of course, because you're younger, obsessed about every little flaw. And like, I realized...

when I was much less good looking, people, when they see you, including sexual attraction from the opposite sex or the same sex or whatever, farm animals, whatever you're into, but they make an immediate sort of, just an overall impression. And it's like, I guess they take in whatever flaws we have, or lucky some people have none,

And it doesn't matter. It's like, oh, there's an attractive person or intriguing or there's something about them that like turns me on. And it's not about the detail. Sometimes it's power. Sometimes it's fame. Sometimes it's financial. Sometimes it's everything. You're a swagger. I also feel like you can't separate the person from everything they do, what they wear, everything.

No, I'm just saying, you know, it's kind of a whole packet. That's what I'm saying. It's like we take in the totality of Boy George. You know, you're an iconic figure. And we want you to, it's like Mickey Mouse without whatever. What does Mickey Mouse wear? About being attractive, though, it's interesting because obviously when I was a kid...

People said, "Oh, your daughter's so pretty." That's what I got when I was a kid. - They thought you were pretty? - Yeah, a little girl. They said to my mum, "Well, your daughter's gorgeous." And it used to really drive me crazy. And then I think there was the point where I thought, "Oh, there's mileage in the feminine thing. I can start encouraging it." When I discovered makeup, you know, I always joke that I created myself from cardboard and glitter, 'cause once I discovered makeup and discovered what I could do to my quite plain face, in a way, that was when it started to really change

My relationship with the world, being attractive. You know, my friend is Chris Reid. He's Kid in Kid and Play. Remember the rap group? Yeah, yeah, I do, yeah. Okay, so, you know, we joke all the time because he's approaching 60. And when you're named Kid, you know, it's a little like, do you remember the band Sergio Mendes in Brazil, 66? I've heard the name, yeah. They sang The Look of Love. Oh, yeah. You know that song? Yeah, of course, yeah. It's still a hot song.

And Brazil 66 may have been a little short-sighted to call yourself. Or 20th Century Fox. Yeah, I mean, the boy thing is...

I kind of like it, you know. It's kind of like part of my brand now, even though it's kind of a scary thing for a punk to say. Look at you. You made yourself into a brand. That's getting pretty high in life, don't you think? Well... You must feel pretty good about how the whole thing came out in the wash. No, I like to mess around with the concepts of what I am. I don't really want to be particularly comfortable. I like to...

You know, because you can end up being in a sort of career that you don't really enjoy. So you've got to be careful of that. You know what I mean? You know, you're a rare exception. I like your last album. I've never met, which one? It starts with God and love. Oh, you're talking about, yeah, this is what I do. The one about... My God is bigger than your God.

That's a different one, but... Oh, God in Love. God in Love. There's a lot of God in my songs. Yes. A lot. More of a question than a sort of... More of a question than anything. I think that's why it appears a lot in my work. God, love, religion, faith. But a little like I feel about Sinatra, I like his later stuff.

Much more than the early stuff. Well, I think that's good though because I think it's you've got to get rare You've got to get better, you know, but most musicians but in it we're in an industry It tells you all the time you can't get better a lot of people tell you all the time You know that like you have to stay loyal to what you created 30 years ago and as an artist, you know That's kind of boring that album is very masculine

I feel. So am I. Shock! It's a geezer! Even that kind of thing, you know, I mean, I understand people nowadays kind of rejecting those rigid terms because I think when you're in the public eye, once you say you're gay, it becomes this kind of thing that dances ahead of you, you know, and I always say my gayness takes up about four hours a month if I'm lucky.

you know, if I'm lucky. Really? Yeah, I mean, I don't go around, like, eating gay bread and drinking gay cups of cappuccino and having gay almond milk and gay kale. I mean, I live in the world. But eggs are gay, right? I live in the world. My pets, my pets are all gay. I have any pets. But what about sex? It's not as all-consuming for me as... Well, I've been doing it a long time. I've been gay a long time. I'm over it. LAUGHTER

Well, you still look boyish. You can wear that name now. Well, it's good because foundation, makeup. Well, whatever it is. I'm against it. You're still pulling it off. And I don't know how old you are. I'm 62. 62. Yeah, you're pulling that off great. You're just like...

Like, you're what I'm always trying to do at this point in my life, because I'm even older than that by five years, is you just want to look generically middle-aged. Yes, late middle-aged, but just generically. I don't know if I'd ever use the word generic. Well, I just, as opposed to like... I might have to draw a different type of eyebrow. People at some point on TV get to the point where like,

They just, I don't know, you know, it's just a distraction. And people don't like to look at, like, old people, like, who look old. It's just something probably depressing. Well, there's always filters. I think men, I mean, obviously, I don't know what it's going to be like for me as I get older because...

There's the point where you can't really fill in the cracks with makeup. There's a point. You know, Bowie got it right in his later years. He always used to wear a bit of black kohl, a little bit of cheek, but he never went for a full foundation. Wait, black kohl? Like actual kohl? No, like there's a kohl pencil. It's a black kohl pencil. Oh, I see. It's like a rock and roll, like what they call man liner. Yeah, you can get away with that. Rock stars, you guys can do it. It would not work for me. I think you'd get away with a bit of guy liner. What?

If I brought... Oh, no. I reckon if you brought your makeup artist in and gave you a bit of guy liner, it would make a difference. That guy liner would crash into a corn... It has to be like you're not trying. It has to be really smudged. No, I can't pull that off. I mean, I... But also, maybe you don't want to pull it off. I mean, I know you probably think, like most people now, that sexuality is always on a sliding scale, but I feel like I'm fully...

I'm not... Size and scale. Yeah, no, I think that there's a certain point where you kind of know what you like, you know, whether it's sort of food...

religion, you know, fashion. Right. Also, like, straight men do look at other men and, you know, they dress the same and they admire fit people, you know, Tom Brady, you know, the good-looking boy at school, you know. You're so right about Tom Brady. Everybody loves the good-looking boy at school, the guy that's on the top of the team, you know, the best swimmer, gets all the girls. That's the same. But I think that, you know...

It's kind of normal. I don't think that's weird. What's normal? Oh, for men to like, yeah. For people to say someone else is attractive regardless of whether they want to sleep with them. Right. You can say someone's attractive whether you want to sleep with them or not. In fact, you can say someone's attractive even if you don't want to sleep with them. There are people that you sort of go, yeah. You know, someone will say to you, oh, is that person attractive? You say, yeah.

but i wouldn't necessarily want to cook him breakfast i wouldn't want to you know i wouldn't chase after someone like that but you know it's um i think attraction is super random but i'll bet you you've cooked a few people breakfast do you know what not as much as you think i'm a bit of a nun when it comes to really well think about it you kick them out before no no i've always been a bit of a serial relationship person oh really it's been a bit of a weird

Partly because I can't be bothered. Right. Also, at this point, me going on a nap, forget it. I mean, it's just all I get is, oh, you look a bit like Boy George. And then if they turn up at your house and you haven't worn them...

You have to hide all the hats. Turn around all the pictures of you with the Pope and this one and that one. Surely you at this point in your life have someone, a hat person, who does that. Charles, the hats! I think if I was, if I had my own treehouse, I might go on the apps, you know, because that would be a good place I could sort of, you know. But yeah, no, I feel like that world isn't open to me, so I don't bother.

And I don't like surprises. You said you only had four hours a month or a week or whatever. What was it, a day that you were gay? I mean, that's not a lot of hours. Well, I think in terms of what other people might pursue, because the thing about being a gay man in the public eye is

You do spend a lot of your time explaining what your life is like, and my life is kind of just like yours. Well, you know what? It's so funny. When we passed, finally, gay marriage in this country, and it had failed on the ballot in states 35 times, over 35, and then suddenly the Supreme Court made it the law of the land, and people saw...

What they saw was gay people showing up at the courthouse to get married. And this was like a big moment for American heterosexuality. Because we saw, oh, there was like people in sweatshirts, schlubby people who looked just like regular. Exactly. Exactly. We're like the criminal. Basically, not every gay person is well kept or groomed. Sometimes they're a little bit rough around the edges, which is more my type of thing. LAUGHTER

People are very clean these days, Bill. You know, straight men shave everything, preen everything. Shave their asshole? I know straight men who spend longer in the bathroom than I do. If that's something you can comprehend. How do you even shave your asshole? There's no great things now. Should we do an advert? There's this new thing called Manscaped.

It's like a gadget, and it doesn't cut you. It's amazing. I don't mean that. I mean, what position do you get into that you can, like, see your... I guess you've got to do it in the mirror? You've just got to be like this in the mirror? I think so. Although there are people that do it. There are places you can go. I bet you you can't do it if you're too heavy and out of shape. No. It's something you need to be a little limber to do. I could totally shave my ass off if I wanted. It's not an attractive photograph unless you look... No.

But it does make sense that you would do that. Do people get it waxed? Brave people get it waxed. So you then never have to... Oh, no, I think it's just quick. Don't look. It's got to be quick, you know? That's why the shaving is good. The electric shaver...

I wasn't until I met you. Take the photograph after the hairdresser's been and all of that stuff's done. Anyway, my point is, I think health should come first, and so with waxing. But health and sanity...

But hairs on your body are there for a reason. You know, they're cilia. I mean, it's very important. It's like a feeler. It's like you see a little insect and it's got its antennas and shit. But that doesn't mean you can't move things around a bit. I mean, you can, but you're basically disabling one of your body's defenses. Are you against men having transplants on their hair?

No, you can grow a penis out of your head for all I care. You can do what you want. I'm just saying, I always think of the health repercussions first, and I feel like we're losing that.

I think that's a personal decision for the person. It is. Exactly. And you can make that. You can say to yourself, I will live 10 years younger, but I'd rather live it as blah, whatever, X. People that eat a certain way or, you know, people that smoke. I like this painting. Who did this painting? Yes. I don't know. It's really cute. What art do you have? Are you an art person? I make art. Oh, you do? I make it more than...

buy it. I kind of ended up sort of... You hang your own stuff in your house all over? I started, yeah, kind of, yeah. Like kind of, I do photography. I do anything that's sort of to do with visuals, which excites me, you know what I mean? Words, photographs, paintings. I do portraits. I do like these

quite humorous. I'm not flattering. I'm not kind. I'm not trying to make you look like you look. I'm trying to find you high or, I don't know, having your ass shaved. Well, good luck trying to do it with me, buddy. You've got a challenge on your hands. Yeah, just kind of trying to get the humor of a person. I think humor...

is uh it's important in what i do anyway i think there's sarcasm humor yeah you always pick up on things before they sort of become you know major concerns for everyone else so it's it's funny how that happens but i think as a musician you kind of i don't know if this is even true or not but you feel like you pick up on things before they sort of become

Interesting to other people. I remember when you first... I mean, I'm old enough to remember the 80s, so I remember when you were first there on the scene. And, like, it was... Like, people thought this guy's cool. They disliked you. It was cheeky, and there was humor in it. And I feel like certainly the group I hung with, which I thought was a pretty smart, hip group, they all liked it. It all worked, you know? It was...

Oh, God, I feel like the song, The Way We Were. Memories light the corners of my mind. That's a great lyricist who did that. It was exciting to come to America for the first time, having bumped into, I remember, the manager of that band, Spandau Ballet, a guy called Steve Dagger, had come up to me in the street and said, you know they're playing your record in America?

do you really want to hurt me they're playing it on like country radio or something really random and so yeah coming out here for the first time was amazing and then you know sort of doing the first gig in long island where we walked out on stage and people actually saw us they were horrified

What is it? So, like, whenever I read about bands that have been around for a long time and they're in Rolling Stone or Vanity Fair or whatever, but, like, they're still on the road and it's always, like, harping on this idea of what they used to do on the road. And now Mick eats macrobiotic only and Keith has a bloodstream. I've always been that person, though. I've always been that person. Really? I've always. I've bought macrobiotic chefs on tour.

Really? But you never were, you did drugs. Yeah. I was the sort of person who would take ecstasy and then have some cranberry juice in the morning and think that was going to help me. You know, like, I would have some oranges or eat some seeds. You know, it's that kind of. That was your drug ecstasy? No, no. Oh. No, I had a few.

A few drugs? Yeah, I was on a few. I was on heroin for a while. Oh, I think I read about that. That was a big one. That was the most all-consuming moment. Whatever you do with heroin, it makes the press. You know, like the other drugs, they're like, well, come on, he's a rock star. Well, it's the hell of drugs, isn't it? Heroin is the hell of drugs. But you got off heroin, huh? How long were you on heroin? About three or four years. How were those years?

I don't know, really. Good if you got the heroin. I think it was kind of, yeah, kind of like a void. Like almost like not really a lot happened, but there was chaos. But it wasn't like, it was almost like being in a bubble, which I think that's what that stuff does. It puts you in this kind of bubble-like state where...

you almost forget who you are and what you're supposed to be doing, which can be quite nice. So you get hooked on horse, huh? The white lady. Yeah, exactly. And then you kind of... Obviously, these days it's easier to come off. Then it was like...

Once you got off it, you didn't really ever want to go through that again. So, I mean, I've never gone back for that very reason. Just like, oh, I wouldn't want to go through that. But now I think it is easier to... Not that I'm advertising it as a concept. No, although, I mean, it's rare, but there have been heroin addicts who did it into older age. Yeah, functioning sort of heroin addicts are quite common. I think William S. Burroughs,

Yeah, of course. Yeah, right. You know, I'm talking about that. I really loved one. Yes. Yeah, it's a great photograph. Didn't he? Wasn't he the one who I have? I have a painting I did of Amy Winehouse and William Burroughs. Oh, wow. But it was an imaginary. It wasn't obviously they would never have met, but I decided that they had met. Why was she your friend? Not friends, but I was I saw some of myself in what she was going through. Whenever these Janis Joplin

Amy Winehouse, Sinead O'Connor, whenever they, something about, you know, young women in that business and then dying and it's like, it's sadder even than most sad and there's a lot of sad. Yeah, definitely with both of those. Well, anyone, you know, anyone that goes through that, I mean, but Sinead I worked with, so that was a different type of relationship. We're both Irish, you know, so...

I always loved her from the minute I set eyes on her really and kind of worked with her a couple of years ago. We did a cover of a Yoko Ono song called "Death of Samantha".

on a dub record and i got to come in and she was hilarious farting burping being completely i must say no disrespect intended but i've never heard the phrase cover of a yoko ono song love yoko though heard the music i'm i'm not familiar so i'm not putting it down really i mean first of all my lyrics are insane i mean i would say that a lot of my favorite singers dylan

Yoko, and that's a weird one. No one picks Yoko. Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed even. They had a kind of lazy approach to...

It wasn't really, you know, it wasn't necessarily, it was more about what I have to say than what I can do. No, the way you put it was perfect. Yeah. I mean, Lou Reed was such a powerful influence on Bowie and on people like me. But your music is so much more... Happy. And good and melodic, you know, more pop. And that's not an insult. No.

I mean, Lou Reed, sorry. Not my, and Yoko Ono. Here's my own, and look, I just had Julian here. You don't think Vicious is probably? I know he loves his brother. Vicious. Is that Yoko? He hit me with a flower. That's Lou. Oh, Lou. You know, Barry produced Transformer.

It's very popular album. Maybe he hated it. I think I do. You're right. I'm not that familiar with what I heard. I think Melody played a big part in all of those people. You know what we all know Yoko Ono from is John's last album

um double fantasy right but check out my version of deficit mantha which is a beautiful yoke i don't say that as a self-promotion i will no but you know the lyrics are amazing i love self-promotion people say i'm cool i'm a cool chick baby like you have to listen to it lyrics mean nothing to me if i don't like this song what about you don't like the person

What about if you can't even get to the song because you hate the person more than the song? I'm interested because I can like a song and like an artist without having to like the artist. I've had a few of those encounters in my life with people that I love that were disappointing when I met them a little bit. But still, I was able to go, oh yeah, but I still love the music. John Lennon famously said,

Okay, moved to New York in 1970 when the Beatles broke up. Never saw his homeland again for the last 10 years of his life. Like, was just... For the first five years, he was making albums, but his heart wasn't in it. He had some few good things, but... And then in 1975, he, like, withdrew, didn't do anything. That was when he... That song, Watching the Wheels, I'm sitting and everybody says, I'm crazy, I'm lazy, I'm just lying in bed. But...

And then finally, he kind of came out of that at the end of the decade and he put out the album Double Fantasy with the awesome single starting over. Phil Spector, Wall of Sound, Excuse Me, I Love Pop Music. Come on, that song started... It was amazing. Okay. But intention is everything. Intention is everything. You know, your vibe is... I know. Where you are... So that's far from Lou Reed. Not that far. Really? Yeah.

I watched this thing with Lou Reed recently. I wish I could post it to you. I don't have my phone where a journalist said to Lou Reed, are you homosexual or transsexual? And he goes, sometimes. And he goes, which one are you more? And he goes, why does it matter? Right. And I thought, that's why I love Lou Reed. Yeah. Because he doesn't give a shit. Well, I'm sure I do. Rock and roll isn't supposed to give a shit. I'm sure I would love his...

i would love it i have to like the song i mean i'm just a fan i'm not i have no musical ability i can make you a playlist the yoriko playlist slip a song in here but if i just that album his comeback album right before he died it was on the charts as he was assassinated i remember it okay he had a bunch of great new songs woman i mean it was really great lenin stuff

interspersed with a Yoko song, and this is back when you had to play it as a record, spinning around, okay? So... It wasn't that hard, though, was it? We all were a little pissed off that we had to keep getting up and moving the needle because we didn't want to listen to the Yoko. We tried it. Maybe it's great, and it's us who's not worthy, but that's what... She has an album called Rising, right? If you want to kind of experience a kind of nice...

piece of kind of collective Yoko work. That album Rising is great. Trust me. On your recommendation, I am going to give, I give everybody a chance. You're right. I don't know it well enough. I know it for, I know I don't like the stuff that was on Double Fantasy, but I've covered two songs by Yoko, Death of Samantha and another one called New York Woman.

New York woman. Well, I think we've all heard. It's all punk rock. We've all heard it. New York woman. It's great. I think we've all heard it. It's just words and melodies. Wait, I got to jump to you.

I think we've all heard the phrase three-chord song, right? That's my favorite. Okay. We have rants about this all the time. You know what Yoko says? What? You are free! I've had that joke before. But we had this argument at the beginning of the tour. We were on the tour, me and...

the guitarist Roy started arguing about a particular song I loved. He was like, "It's got three chords." I said, "Let's list all the songs that have ever been number one that have three chords." There are hundreds of them, thousands. It's amazing to me, honestly, when I listen to new music, which I try to do all the time. Sometimes it's not new now, it's new to me. But how can there be new songs? There's only so many notes and so many chords.

And how the fuck could there ever be a new song, is what I think, especially when I hear a good one. Also, how could there never be a new song? That's an interesting question, because, I mean, every song is related. But just musically, how could every variation of the finite number of notes have not already been done? No, because I think everything is familiar. All the things you love sound like things you already love. It's like good food. You know, like, if it's something familiar...

It's in a rock and roll style, or it's in a Beatles style, or whatever jazz style. Let's get back to shaving your ass off. That's definitely not--

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I know people in the music industry and a lot of them are... Now you're starting off. ...are bitter. I'm talking about the younger ones because they came along at a time when, you know, you can have a giant record and Spotify pays you one trillionth of a cent every time it's played.

Unless you're Taylor Swift. Is that not true? I don't know, really. Come on. You must follow this. Not really. I mean, I make my living from life work, from being in the moment. Well, that's the point. You have to. Because, you know, people, when you come out in the 80s, you didn't, the records made money for you because people bought actual records. And the more they actually bought, the more you got.

I know that's horrible, stupid capitalism, but it seemed to work better. Money's okay. Money's not a dirty thing. The music industry, I mean, come on. You must have seen, like, a big change.

Well, it's always been run by people who don't make music. So that's the interesting thing. You know what I mean? It's run by people that really never written a song. Of course. Never considered it. And they're judging you. And that's fascinating when someone starts telling you about what you're doing musically and you're like, you're missing the point. I'm not doing it for that reason. Right. I haven't got an agenda. Right. If I have, it changes daily. Right. You know, the message for me is,

I see that you steer clear of any sort of self-promotions. Talking about himself too much. Move on. I feel like, I mean, it's, you know, what is the message of music? Music is communication. It's telling people, like, how you see the world. Not necessarily a spot-on depiction of what's going on. Yes.

It's what you see and what you feel. Well, it's interesting. There's different kinds of songs. There's a kind of song where you just make up a character. I mean, Paul McCartney's the master. The Gene Genie. The Gene Genie. In my case, the Diamond Chameleon. Yes, or Eleanor Rigby or, you know, Desmond has a barrow. Who is he? Desmond, we're telling you a story. Jojo is a man. Whatever. It's just a story.

That's not my favorite kind of song, although, again, if I love the song... What if you knew that person? Well, if the lyrics are nothing, like Get Back, I was quoting it a minute ago. I mean, the lyrics, it's just gobbledygook. But so is Karma Chameleon, in a way. Yeah. But it's gobbledygook. And I don't mind. It's abstract gobbledygook about something. But I like the song, so I don't care. Yeah. That's the important thing. But I think that's generally what everyone feels. It's like you can get into analyzing everything, like...

What do people mean? But then there's another genre of lyrics, which I think you're quite good at, which is life philosophy. I think I'm getting better. Yeah, because you're older, of course, especially at that. It's life philosophy. But I've also explored words more now. So I used to be a bit lazy around words and thinking. You know, I used to have a very rigid way of looking at thinking, and now I'm kind of more...

That sounds ridiculous, expansive. I'm kind of just more open to letting things influence me, admitting that I want to sound a certain way and

not denying the sort of Bowie in what I do or the Beatles or just not saying, well, is everything already exists? That's the thing. I think you just get hit on. I feel like in your lyrics now, especially now, you are like sharing your life philosophy. You're almost like giving advice, which is almost inevitable. Don't listen to me, though, is the underlying message. When you get to our age, it's almost inevitable that you're always doing that. Well, yeah.

But maybe I'm doing it for myself because I think sometimes I need post-it notes to remind myself not to fall back into behaving in a way I might have done 20 years ago.

Or thinking in a way I might have done last week. I'm always looking to change my point of view about everything all the time. No, I'm telling you. I'm trying to give you a compliment. No, no, I'm taking it. I like it better because... Do you feel like I'm defensive? No, not at all. I love you. I'm not defensive at all. You know, that's one of the things I really hate. No, no. I'm just saying there's a lot of things you can choose to write a song about.

When you're young, it's a lot about love and like, oh my gosh, I'm so in love with you. If I mentioned that I was sitting in your man cave with Bill, you'd get a kick out of that. If it was a lyric? Yeah. A very big kick. Yeah.

Sort of thing. So really, you know, these characters. But you could write about a million things. Yes, you can write about puppy love, or you could write about, you know, I got all the bling. I've got a song called Sweet Billionaire. Now, who would write that? Why? You know, Sweet Billionaire, no one really would even put those two words together. Right. You know that only a handful of people are going to ever buy it, but it'd be interesting. Well, you can be a sweet billionaire. Sweet.

I don't think there's any billionaires. No one ever said before. Backarach in there. Yeah, you know, I've heard a little bit of backarach. Yeah, I can tell. The simplicity of that writing. You love reggae. I like reggae as well. And also anything can be reggae within reason.

But it has that undertone a lot. But anything, it's just basically life, but looser. It's just like, you know, it's like red, red. Right. It's looser. It's red, red wine, but it's, you know. That's a great one. Who wrote Neil Diamond wrote that?

Neil Diamond wrote-- - Neil Diamond, did you write Red Red Wine? I don't think so. I think Neil Diamond did. Google it. Do you have a phone? No. I think it was-- I think it was Neil Diamond. We'll find out later. But it became a massive reggae hit. It just doesn't sound like-- I think I'm right. I think-- What do I get for being right? You have zero.

Neil Diamond wrote some amazing songs. Who? Neil Diamond. Oh, amazing. Right. Oh, you like Neil Diamond. Yeah, of course. Why not? How would I not? Exactly. Sweet Carol. And it's not really anything I don't like. Why? You know why? Because people are fucking snobs. That's why.

I remember seeing, like, Glen Campbell on the TV in England. He called me a fag, right, one morning. He was on TV with Donny Osmond. Glen Campbell, like, one of my... Glen Campbell? Glen Campbell, one of my heroes. I'm watching TV. He's on TV with Donny Osmond. And he called me... He called me a queer or a fag, something like that.

On TV? On TV. They aired it? They did air it, yeah. Yeah, because it was like 1970. But I was like, no, it was in the 80s. But I was like, afterwards, I was like, it doesn't change how I feel about Wichita Lightman. Exactly. By the time we get to Phoenix. I feel the same way. It doesn't change anything for me. Not at all. That's separate. Donnie Blessing stood up for me. Donnie was like, you can't say that. I didn't mean anything by it.

I didn't care anyway. - He's a red, exactly. - I think that's the thing I didn't care. - Hey, I don't care about R. Kelly. People have said, "How can you play them?" I'm like, "The record didn't rape anybody." - Oh yeah, the record's a different thing, I think, always. And I think, like when I met Morrissey, he was a bitch to me, but I still loved him. - Right, he's a-- - Gemini with a Scorpio moon.

Not what I was going to say, but like... It's what you thought though, right? No, because I don't believe in astrology, but I... That's typical of you though. You're such an Aquarian. But what is that? You're such an Aquarian with a Taurus moon. Did I Google you? Yes.

But whatever you said he is, what is that shorthand for? Well, Gemini is me, so he's very me, like he's a twin. So Gemini, I'm born on the Gemini. But what is the Gemini characteristic?

We can love and hate you in the same breath. Let's just put it like that. Well, I believe that. We can have a good time and a bad time at the same time. So people call Gemini's two-faced. Well, our country song. Is that the Gemini? We're like a blues lyric. I killed my wife today, but I'm still happy. That's the Gemini. Okay? That's the Gemini.

I killed my wife today, my dog died, and I'm paying for the funeral. That's Gemini. I see. So the Janus, the Two-Face. It's not Two-Face. Not Two-Face, but like Two... Ability to see both sides of the situation. See both sides. So I've got friends in my life that... See, I feel like that should be me. I feel like that's what I do. I see both sides. Yeah, I think that...

That thing of like, I've got friends in my life. But I'm not even near that. I'm January. I'm writing a book right now. I'm not plugging it because it's going to, I don't think it's ever going to get written. But I'm writing about a friend of mine who I love dearly. I'm getting a sweetheart. I obviously can't even stand this person. And it's so funny because I'm like, trying to explain to the reader that I really do love this person. I know it doesn't sound like it. Right. Yeah.

I was born on the same day as Donald Trump, June 14th. Boom. And Che Guevara, that helps. Che Guevara, does that help? He was June 14th as well. And a psychotic killer. I always say that on stage. I say, you know, I was born on the same day as Donald Trump.

And it gets a kind of silence and I go, and I've got cancer moon. And I only say it just to be playful, not to really be, I want people to know that I'm watching what's going on, but without sort of really having too much to say about it. Do you know that Jake Rivera is not a hero?

no oh because like the woke people who are wearing like Che Guevara t-shirts they think he's this great revolutionary who you know was he's with terribly racist he's checks his every box that they hate I didn't choose to be born on the same test but it's edgy but you really do think that that affects your life the day you were born

It could. It has to. It certainly doesn't have to. I think it has to. Because if you accept, like, I don't know, you want to get me to, like, I was watching this little ladybird flying off my friend's finger yesterday with such a kind of, like, and that's the stuff you miss, right? There's so much about life that you miss. Why wouldn't

the time you're born, the moon, the tides, all of those things, why wouldn't they affect you? Who do you think I am? Fucking Barbara Walters? Barbara Windsor. Who's that? I don't know, Barbara Bush. I'm just trying...

It's hard to... Barbra Streisand. Wait, you've got a what on your head? You're looking at what a hummingbird on your head? I was watching Lady Bird, the way it flew off. What's a lady bird? You mean a butterfly? They're little red things with black spots. Lady bug. Oh, we call them lady birds. Really? Your lady bird is our lady bug? Yeah, look at this. This is to show the kids. I think there's hope for our two nations to make peace.

I've always been loved here. So I've always kind of like... You are beloved here. I feel like I say this a lot on stage. I feel like the reason why I don't annoy people is because they send me home. They can send me home. You are beloved here. I beloved you. I have to have an O1 visa to be here. So being here isn't easy. You know, it's interesting. I was going to start... Being here is easy. Here is a breeze. Once you feel customs, everything's like being in Bill Maher's life. Yeah.

But actually, I think that, yeah, no, it's not easy to be in America, but I love it here. You do love it here. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Why would I come?

Right. If I didn't love it. It's a funny, just an interesting story. But listen, about, I did community service in New York years ago. I was made to sweep the streets and all of that. Seriously? Yeah, do you not remember that? What did you do? Have heroin? It was a drug thing. It was a drug thing. Anyway, it cares about the detail. But the fact is, I was. No public bathrooms though, right? No, no, no, no. I was sent back to England, obviously, once I got, you know, the charge and all the rest. I got sent to England. And I could have not come back.

Part of me was, you know, I was off my nut and I was like, I'm not going back to America. I'm not going to go and do this. And that's humiliating. And my mum, bless her, was like, you're not going to think like that next year or next week or next month. You know, you love America and they love you and you have amazing gigs there. Go back.

Do you know what I mean? So my mom's gone now, but-- I know. I mean-- --later this year. I remember that song in your Broadway show about your mother. You always knew, didn't you, mother? Yeah, that thing. You know, going back to my childhood, you're breezing along. Suddenly you get to about six or seven, and suddenly everyone wants to know what you are.

What do you like? Do you like playing soldiers? Or do you prefer pop music? Is it Shirley Bassey that rattles your kitchkas? Is it-- you know-- Shirley Bassey, that was the sign you're getting? My opening line in my book was when I was a little boy, I wanted to be Shirley Bassey. There was something about her--

I wanted to get with Shirley. But I don't think it's too simple to say, is it the mother? You know, I think watching the way my mother was treated by my dad and the way society treated women back then...

You know, I think, you know, as a young gay kid, you kind of get an interesting perspective on life, you know, but I'm not your typical person. You know, I'm a German. I don't really hold on to shit. No. I'm not wound. I mean, obviously, I'm seriously damaged by my childhood. I admit it. But not at this point.

there was a point like after that the third court case i had to take some responsibility for who i who i was choosing to be you know not to cut you off because you are so interesting but i want but i want to ask you about shirley bassey sherry because this is something we sort of have in common because i also like shirley bassey but not i didn't want to be her no

I wanted to be... Well, no, I think... I'll make it simple. It was strong women. So my mum, in essence, was this incredible, Aquarian, creative, beautiful, beautiful, free, colourful soul. And my dad kind of suppressed it. So women that were like...

you know, like Joan Collins putting out a cigarette and a plate of prawns. You know, just women that were like, fuck you, men. Fuck you, society. You know, anyone that sort of was, you know, Gladys Knight, you know, one of those songs. It was like, it's kind of what I was idealizing my parents' marriage. Why can't it be like this? Why can't it be like a four-top song? Or, you know, just wallowing a bit in that kind of sadness that I thought my mum was going through as a kid. So, you know...

You know that Gladys Knight was a lot older than we all thought she was, I think, when she was at her heyday because...

You can maybe you should fact check this but I'm pretty sure I read that she won the major bows comedy in our which was like one of the first television show that's not singing. I know for like as a teenager. All right, she was kind of like that errors. Starts just yes, yeah, or what they you know the voice those kind of show yeah, I was and I think that was 1948 wow amazing.

But she also introduced, there was this guy, Jabriah, that was this Bowie, you know, trying to be America's Bowie. Morrissey's obsessed with him, this guy Jabriah. Yeah, he was like America's Ziggy Stardust, but he was very out in the game. Not Jamiroquai. No, Jabriah. Okay. And there's a show where I saw Gladys Knight introducing Jabriah, saying he's the next.

big thing and so mad because you know I don't know he was set for Morrissey was that I was in a dry affairs is kind of crazy. Yeah, look him up might be interesting to Brian to Brian I didn't I've never heard of to Brian not many people have. Because you're cultural man.

Wow, I don't dig that deep. Like, I'm telling you, I am like a perfect, like, focus group for a musician because, again, no musical talent

but I do know what I like. I cultivate my music collection very carefully. It's important in my life. I use the old iPod for that reason because there are things I can do on that one that I couldn't do. You're with someone who knows a lot about music and that's me. I know. But I'm saying you're making music for me

Yeah, I'm making music. I think essentially for months. I'm not making it for the radio, that's for sure. You know, if it ends up there, good. When was the last year I listened to the radio? That's interesting, isn't it? Like, you know, because people get to experience things in a quite nonchalant way. When we were teenagers, like what record you had under your arm was Life or Death. Right.

It could change, but it was important. There's no way somebody 62 years old is going to be able to capture the market that the people in their 20s and early 30s do, because that's where music is. It's where the energy is. I disagree. That's what's on the charts. But look at Kate Bush. Kate Bush just came back with massive swell. There isn't an age. Kate Bush at this moment, because the perfect...

What's that? There was a TV show on Netflix, like Stranger Things. Okay. Kate Bush went back to number one. It's always an exception. It's a myth, though, this kind of age gap thing. You can't like something if you're 16. Let me finish the point. If you look at the charts, I'm telling you, all the songs over there. You're talking about the system. You're talking about the matrix. I'm not talking about anything because you don't let me finish.

Because music is something... It hit me when I was 12. That's when it hits you hardest. And then it's...

You could put out the greatest music in the world when you're... I remember Paul McCartney had an album out when he was 47, Flowers in the Dirt. Amazing record. Could have been just like any Beatles album. They would just... When you're 47, they're just not going to listen to it. They're not going to promote it. And anyone who's buying records is not going to care because they have to have their own music. That's a bit of a myth, but whatever. But you can still make great music. Yeah.

I think you have to exist outside of all of those things we just talked about. You have to kind of just find the reason to do what you do that's satisfying to yourself and, you know, I hope that something every so often clicks.

Okay, but what I'm saying is... You are cynical, though. I'm not cynical. I'm not cynical. I'm just like a, what do you call it, a difficult customer. I'm a customer of music. I'm the customer. So I want something that, when I buy it, satisfies me. And that's like, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm not going to listen to these... I don't have an issue supplying that, though. Because your music is commercial.

I have got commercial genes, I think, yeah. Yes. But what's commercial? Commercial is just a catchy chorus, and the rest of it is where the depth comes. I mean, not every song even has to have a chorus and be catchy. You know what? Maggie Mae, Rod Stewart. Very good, yeah. And also, if you want me to stay by Sly and the Family Stone, no chorus. What is? If you want me to stay, I'll be around the day. I don't know what that is. Sly and the Family Stone.

What's the name of it? Sly and the Family Stone. The song is good. You know it. When you hear the bass line, you will know that song. Otherwise, where have you been living? I thought I knew all the Sly and the Family Stone songs. That's when I was a teenager. That's when I paid special attention. I wrote down the survey every week. I heard that when I was a punk rocker.

So it was like kind of, it wasn't really what I was listening to, but suddenly it was like. I don't think that was one of their hits because I certainly would know that. Oh, it's one of the most famous. What's it called? If you want me to stay, I'll be around today to be available for you to see. This is Sly and the Family Stone? Sly and the Family Stone, yeah. It's on, what's the album? It's on that album. Wow.

It's like a sort of... I think it's a deep cut. No, it's not. It's like one of the most famous... Ask any bass player in the planet. Okay, bass players, again, not the public. I'm the public. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Ask any musician if they know that song. I'd be very surprised. John Q. Public. I'm the young man in the 22nd row who sees you as something more than sexual. Not you in particular, but... You are such an Aquarian. It's genius. I am half an Aquarian.

Did you know that? Yeah, I Googled you. I went online and I was like... Well, I'm on the cusp.

They told me down to the minute with Capricorn. So a minute ago you didn't care about star signs, now you want to know. You're kind of, yeah. What's interesting is you can do that thing when anyone asks you, I always ask everyone on a star sign, just pull a face, whatever they say. If they say like Aries, just go, oh. And they always think you know something really important about their destiny, which it's a great party game, you know.

But how does my being on the cusp of Aquarius and Capricorn, do you think? Well, I think if you think about the concepts of being on the cusp of anything, it just has a kind of energy, do you not think? Cuspy, sorry, cuspy. How is Billy's cuspy? Don't you think? That's like cynicism. Being on the cusp, I think, is one of those things, and you'll appreciate this with the

split personality can be very painful or can be very pleasurable you can be sitting you know you're always back to this fucking hairy balls thing i mean you could be riding a cock and i would imagine as a woman that feels

Pretty good. I'll try it one day. I mean, I could answer that. Or you could be sitting on something. You know, you could be on the train. If you like something, it's always pleasurable. If you like something, it's pleasurable. And sometimes you have to, there's a saying, if you don't like it, try it. You might like it. I'm just saying. It's a new catchphrase. That's a T-shirt. If you don't like it, try it. I'm just saying, if you're going to sit on something, make it something you like.

again as in love of self i mean you know interesting homo one of the few roots that has two meanings it means man like ec homo behold the man and it also means same so homosexuality homo

- It's funny. - Same self love. - Well, it works, no, it means, no. - I'm paraphrasing. - It doesn't. - I'm a lyricist. - It doesn't mean self love, it means love of man, love of other man. - Well, you are a man, so it is loving self. - Did you know most of the shampoo out there that you're using is actually terrible for your scalp, stripping valuable oils and blocking the sebaceous glands?

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I was on stage in San Francisco when they first legalized marijuana, doing a gig with Coach Club. It was hilarious. I was just like, I can't remember what it was years ago. That was in San Francisco and I was singing. And about halfway through the gig, I looked at Mikey and I went, I'm high.

I was absolutely stone and I was laughing my head off. From what was in the audience? Yeah, they were just, I mean, they were like, you know. Really? You got a contact? You're really close. You got a contact high? Yeah. I couldn't get a contact high if I prayed. Yeah, but that's because you're like hardcore. Yeah.

I'm not the cops. I'm not the cops. You're so right. What do I give a shit? I give a shit what I think. What do I care if you think I suck? Don't explain yourself to me, man. Exactly. The whole realm of being high, isn't it? That you don't have to kind of think on the same level as everyone else. I've known you an hour and I'm apologizing. What is this bullshit? Well, you're turning British, you see. Right. Because we say sorry for everything. Right. Say sorry it's raining. But I feel like I've known you my whole life. Yeah, I think that's...

i always i didn't think i was going to find you weird well i mean weird talk about a spectrum yeah weirdness is a spectrum because everyone is weird in their own way everyone is almost everyone is corrupt in their own way oh man you know i mean being a human is to be is a hypocrite being a hypocrite i mean just opening your mouth i mean they're definitely

Some people are definitely better than other people. Some people are more altruistic. Better in what way, though? Like, more selfless. Like, wouldn't do sketchy, shady, shitty things.

Hello, but then also love people to do sketchy shitty shit. You have something about them I don't I will certainly wouldn't love them. You wouldn't invite them over for tea or something important but now usually sex usually what people is not interesting though. It's true. I mean usually what gets you to forgive

Otherwise, heinous personality flaws is you like the dick or the pussy. You just... And do you like arrogant people? Do you get turned on by... You're into women, right? LAUGHTER

Yes. Don't be defensive. No, I'm not. Yes, I admit it. Are you into women yet? I'm a flaming hope heterosexual. You're into women. No, but listen, you know. Can I just say something in defense of heterosexuals? Yes. Very important. Two of them made me. Right. That's their genius. We are important. We have done many things. So much. Absolutely. Well, of course. Everyone's important. Everything's important. I observe as a Brit, you know, because obviously, listen, look at our lot.

We're not judging anything here, but look at the last three years.

Prime ministers, I don't think anyone voted for them. They just turned down. Oh, please. You should be so unlucky. All your prime ministers. Yeah, Theresa May. What a crazy person. You know, yes, not everybody succeeds at the job, but nothing is like what's going on in here where you have like a true crazy, stupid person.

Your people are all reasonable. You may not like every policy. That's life. You don't get every win, but they're just, they don't scare you. Did any of those people scare you?

Does Rishi Sunak scare you? He doesn't scare me. None of them scare me. I would be careful what I say about him, but, you know, Boris baffled me. Boris was just... If anybody was going to scare you, it would be him. But even he's not scary. No, not scary, but just like... The British are just much more mature. So even when they're buffoons like Boris, it's not as scary. Like, Trump is a true buffoon. You know, like... So you don't like him? No.

I read that about you. Don't be defensive. No. No. Yeah, no, but fascinating, though, in a weird sort of way. The whole, well, because we do it in a slightly different way in our country. So just this whole thing, I was watching the other night, this thing. I mean, obviously, I skip around the channels because I know you don't want to be stuck in one thought pattern all the time. It's quite good to go, oh, that's interesting. Oh, that's whatever. Kind of like a mad opera. Yeah.

I feel like I should write an opera about it. Well, opera singers wear less makeup. That's the major difference. There is something kind of quite interesting about the whole thing. Quite interesting, yes. Interesting, I'll give you. But also frightening. Frightening, but also... From both angles, because...

First of all, all these crimes he's committed, of course he did them. He's Donald Trump. He's a criminal. He does criminal things without even caring or really knowing because he's a crazy person who doesn't even see it. You love him.

So, of course he's committed these crimes, but we are, and he should be prosecuted, but by doing so, we are crossing this Rubicon that we never did in this country. Well, my manager PK says it's bad for the brand of president. It's just not a good look.

Why rock stars ever like and so many of them do kill themselves and they're suicidal. I'm of course there are things that go on in the brain that we absolutely. But like from the outside it just looks like wow you have all the things everyone is like pining for and it's and you're the one who's unhappy Elvis. You're Elvis. Yeah I mean that is an interesting question but

Yeah, I don't know I think we know when you're not as you can work that stuff out in public right that if you're not. I miss it now that is obviously everyone's got their windows wide open as you've got the Internet so I'm just changed everything but I'm saying why is there something to work out you know you're Jesus. Bless you childhood you were born with incredible talent which most people don't have great look at the tell me ever that point I guess what kids.

Don't worry about the whole school thing and being beaten up for being gay because you're going to become a fucking huge rock star. I might have acted differently had I had some information. All right, let me ask you a tough question. If you had... Your life... You lived your life as a rock star and you got beaten up for being gay. That's horrible and it's wrong. If, knowing what you know now,

I can already tell you I would choose again, 1,000%. You would choose what happened. I didn't choose it, but I didn't choose it, but I, that's the wrong word, because I didn't choose to be who I am, but, you know, I accept it.

So it makes me read the run slightly different to everyone else. But if the question is, you can go back in time and you will get beaten up for five years, but then you'll be a rock star for life. Or I can spare you getting beaten up and you will work at Kinney Shoes.

which would you take oh the first one mr george i put it to you answer the question the first option of course i mean you know the thing is also life isn't linear and you don't remember things in order of when they happen also it's good to go through some pain when you're young but you get better lyrics that's for sure i mean one of the good things about ex-lovers is you can turn them into songs

profitable big number one song. Right. Take your pain global. Yes. It's got to be a sweet kind of revenge. Let me turn you into a song. You know, and also, interestingly, you know, I remember years ago singing a song I'd written about a partner to him in bed and he just looked at me and he went, that's about you. Wow. And I was like,

He's right. Wow. Son of a bitch. What a queen, huh? I know. He wasn't even a queen, either. He wasn't even being Archbill. He was just seeing that everything goes out the window once. Not everything. And I think when you're younger, you're more susceptible. Are you a lights on or lights off person? What happened? Lights on or lights off?

Lights dim. Yeah, from the lamp. And read a book. I mean, romantic lighting is not glam. We're not making a porn movie. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so dim lights. Yeah, I get that. That sounds like a Roxy music song. Dim the lights, you can get the rest.

Yes, we got Niall Rodgers. That was like hanging out with Bill. It's quite Roxy music in here, though. Yeah, Niall Rodgers does a guitar thing on that song. Amazing. I've got a big... I mean, I love Brian Ferry. Brian Ferry. Roxy music. Oh, right. He's a singer.

Okay, yes, I think Roxy Music has some good stuff. Great stuff. I mean, we're migrating, thankfully, away from Lou Reed and Yoko to Roxy Music. Never, never. Come back, Patti Smith. No, I love that you... Patti Smith, love Patti Smith. Okay, let's go more toward Neil Diamond. Remember, we love Neil Diamond. Patti Smith's amazing. I know these people are amazing. No, amazing, amazing. It is me. I am unworthy. I am unworthy.

unworthy my ears you never heard free money by patty smith uh maybe i have i'll get you send it send me your list it's on the google google it okay you know i will i want to know i do this i do something google it for you i do this all the time i like it's it's so primitive people will think but i download because i still can i ask you are you a romantic

Was that like a bit of a jump? Officially? Yeah, you know. I think so. I mean, I... Are you in a relationship? Why? What did you hear? I think probably you are. Yes. And what's his name? How is Bill? Anyway. You've got kids? Not that I know of. Okay.

Do you? So you're romantic. No, no, I've got no kids. Well, I'm 67 and I never got married. That's the much more salient point, you know. And if you do that, it's because you either don't like girls at all or you like them a lot. That's what you need to know about me. So butch. That answer was so butch. I need to lie down. Jesus Christ.

You don't even have to try to be butch. That was like, okay. It's like intellectual butchness. Well, I got to tell you. I get it, I get it, I get it. When I was in, you know, you have a vibe. I'm not really into marriage for me. I can't think of anything more restrictive, you know. But I think you definitely get into certain people and it's, you know.

Yeah, I mean... Not necessarily for all the right reasons, you know, there's never really a... And I also think something that transcends gay straight is that it's hard to maintain the two things we want simultaneously, which is security and excitement. Yeah, I love that. I never thought of it like that, but security and excitement... At the beginning, you have a lot of excitement, but not security. And as it goes like this...

Unless you learn to be a better partner, which is always possible. Are you talking about me in particular, or are we being philosophical? I think that both, I think both. Not that I know much about you, but like my dad was an Aquarian. I hate it. LAUGHTER

I'm more of a Capricorn, they say. Doesn't matter, they're close. They're like neighbors. You can lean in and borrow sugar from the Capricorn. Really? But they're supposed to be opposites. But isn't, like, everything's seen in Yang, isn't it? Man and female, dark and light, you know, salt and pepper. See, you can get into trouble. Gay and straight. See, you can get into trouble. I will. Are you trying to get me? Just for saying, everything is binary.

Binary's a bad... I never said that, though. You did. You just said male and female, gay and straight. I didn't say everything was binary. I said there's comparisons, there's juxtaposition. No, you're in trouble. Oh, I am? Because that is not how the woke think of things. Everything is on a sliding scale. There's no such thing as binary. And there is... The thing is, though, listen... There is nuances. Of course. Are you accusing me of being woke? I'm accusing you of being un-woke. I was never asleep. I don't need to be woken. I was... No, no.

But that's their point of view as opposed to gay and straight, male and female. Like everything is sort of always... But even not there. Everything is a jump ball and we should reorganize society around the idea that everything is very fluid and we're not really quite there yet. Maybe we'll evolve to that but now most people are

either male or female or gay or straight. There are absolute variations, but it's such a tiny percentage. It is inappropriate the amount of energy we put toward, I think, making that seem like it's possible for everybody with... It's not likely. It's just not likely. I don't really have a fixed opinion on it. I think that

You know, it's so individual. I know a lot of gay men who are pissed off at the trans people. Oh, I know lots of trans people, though, so I'm pissed off at the gay men. So, unfortunately, I'm pissed off at the gay men because... Like, there was a gay pride parade and there was no... But there's always... Listen, Bill, sorry, getting excited now. Speaking of Shirley Bassey, there's always someone to dislike, isn't there? In every generation, there's always someone they hate. Oh, wow.

Oh well, we've all been through it. I was it in the 70s. Oh, you mean, you know, in southeast London, England, you know, I went on my first march before I realized you had to protest to be a protest. I think for me, my whole existence became a sort of funny protest, but with a sense of humor.

that's it you're laughing at me but guess what i'm laughing at you too that is a great theme and title for an album i'm laughing at you no protest like you what you said you just said that about my life has been a protest yeah do that as an album theme right but who will i piss off everyone like when no no i listen i don't ever write anything with this sort of mission of

Pissing anyone off. It's really just you're you're past having to worry about it. What can they do to you and they know I'm already counsel. I mean you'd have to go you'd have to go you've already told me I don't exist on your number 40 so you would have to go home a lot of people like that. You would have to go full Kanye.

to get cancelled at this point. And you don't say things like that. You say... Well, I don't feel things like that either, so that's the difference. I don't feel things like that. I just, you know, I never find myself getting into such an extreme feeling that I have to... I can't breathe before I say something about somebody or... But there's a difference between, like, the Jews or whatever he was saying about the Jews. God love them.

And just like you and I do, we just say things that are true that piss people off because they don't want to hear the truth. They don't want to be confronted with it. But it's not like it's untrue. And people know that. They might not admit it, but they know it. What Kanye is saying is untrue or true. What do you mean? I don't think it's true. I don't think it's true.

The Jews? I think that it's very easy to kind of take your own pain and spew it onto someone else. The Jews dominating show business? Where does he get this nonsense? Well, my manager's Jewish, and I was very specific. I was very specific. I want a British manager, and yes, I want it to be Jewish. So why didn't you ever move here if you love America so much? Well, I'm kind of here all the time.

I didn't need to live here. But you live in England? I think one of the reasons I work so well here is because you can send me home. You know, it's like I'm not, you know, it's like when I was in Russia, not that I'm comparing, but when I was in Russia, walking through Russia in a tutu dressed as Lee Bowery, I remember thinking, they're just never going to bother me.

Because it's so... They know I'm not from there. They knew I wasn't Russian. Every club I went into, it was like, I was just fine. Because it was so extreme. They were like, yeah, it's from somewhere else. It's not from here. And I do feel a bit like... So what year is this in Russia? Like 90s, I was going there just after like... So before Putin...

Before putting the... But after the fall of communism? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I went there. Yeah, and they were so mad because we did a gig there and... Wow. Sponsored by the French government and kids were coming up to me and going, oh, we put your records in the 80s and we hid them. And I was like, oh my God. Right. That's kind of mad. I liked it. I liked it. Well, look, I'm going to hell. Oh. That's a boy. Hammer and sickle. That's a boy, yeah. What does that mean? Yeah.

It was a relationship I had with someone. Who was a communist? Well, it was a sort of rock and roll-y, comedy, sort of, you know, guns and roses. But that's a hammer and sickle. It's a very specific symbol of communism. Should I get it covered up? I'm just telling me, what's the... Do you think I should get it covered up? What's the... Well, it has no meaning other than I was in love with someone who was from Russia. What's the connection with communism and this guy's... That's what I grew up with, like, that symbol and the star and...

red and gold star. Yes, what would a stone like the list of. I don't know what I was just on that. Well starts can be a very much into Israel has a star so it's about you I'm going to have it on top of my head. I have yeah, I was I'm going to try on this.

i've never been a tattoo i've got a i've got a star of david on the top of my head and i was on a plane once i never understood the whole point of like something is meaningful to you okay great same thing happens to me things happen that are meaningful i don't say you know what we make this better if i inked it into my body it's commitment love but

But I have it in my mind. You've got commitment issues. It reminds me of those crypto things they sell, like where they sell a picture. Oh, I've done that. NFTs. NFTs, right. I'm in NFTs. It's like... Bowie, come on. It doesn't... I actually remember the two most important people in my life. That's Bowie and who's... That's Bowie and that's Mark Bowler. Oh, wow. T-Rex.

A lot of people think it's Slash. Bang a gong, get it on. We do that in our show, yeah. Get it on, bang the gong. Oh, you do that in your show? Get it on. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Bono's like one of my... What a record, right? All-time heroes. Best lyricist on the planet. Now, his lyrics make any sense. I had a car, it was old, it was kind, I gave it my mind and it disappeared. That's cool. That's awesome. No, that's okay. There's something. More than okay. I understand, yeah, exactly. She was born to be my unicorn.

Oh, that's a genius. That's a great lyric. She was born to be my unifying. There's so many, which is why I ended up writing songs like Calm and Chameleon, just because they sounded, I like the words. You know what, I'm going to get every, I don't know enough Mark Bolan T-Rex, but there wasn't a lot of albums, were there? Loads. Yeah.

I mean, what do you say loads? There was T-Rex tanks. There was Electric Warrior. There was Slider. So it was like three or four. An early T-Rex. There was T-Rex, Tyrannosaurus Rex. There was a lot of poetry and mad wizard stuff. This is why I love the iPod. Because I'll go to my computer and I want to pay for the music because Spotify, fuck them. And

And I will get like, I'll get Yoko, I'll get T-Rex that I haven't heard these albums, and I'll get something from new. I always get like three at a time, and I'll listen to those for like a couple of weeks. And it's great. Maybe I could see that there could be some great T-Rex stuff. I get a lot of friends throwing me onto like current stuff, you know, and some of it sticks, some of it doesn't. You know, it's like if I like the song,

But to me, it's more about if I like the person, I watch them being interviewed. Sometimes a song is just great and you go, it's a great song. Oh, I thought you were kidding about that. No, but sometimes when I see people, no, sometimes I like, no, no. Sometimes I just don't like a person enough to put up with a badly written song that's getting played on the radio. A rock star has to be some kind of huge prick.

for me to not listen to a song I like because I know they're a huge prick. I think it could happen where I think it has happened where like I just I just can't listen. Like when people think they've invented the weird, you have to put them right. But I certainly don't. It doesn't bother me. Michael Jackson and I feel like he committed some heinous, heinous crimes. And I still love Michael Jackson songs that I love. You know, I mean, it doesn't it doesn't.

I maybe it should if I was a better person always enter my mind when I heard his song about the crimes he committed but you know what I can separate them and I know I'm not going to be apologetic about it. I mean you know. Michael Jackson I like Michael Jackson when I was the school I said maybe hearing band when I was about 10 or something. I mean they wanted to cancel Wagner because Hitler connection, yes.

There was a connection, but Hitler liked him. He didn't like Hitler. Which reminds me of the time when our prime minister was a conservative prime minister, David Cameron, said he liked the Smiths, and they were devastated. It's like breaking news. David Cameron's a Smiths fan. They were devastated. They were like... Except, again, you should actually... You cannot decide who likes your music. But you should be a lot more...

thankful about this, that you're like conservatives, that you make fun of, that you think are... I don't make as much fun of conservatives. Just by being me. Oh, I thought you were saying David Cameron was like some sort of conservative. I was full-on conservative, like proper. But for the Smiths, it was a big deal. For me, I'd be like, of course they like my music. I'm just saying your conservatives are like much more mature than...

And they're not like crazy out there. David Cameron, we would kill for a David Cameron to be running the Republican Party. Do you understand what I'm saying? No, no, I get it. We would kill. Who would you choose right now then? Among the actual candidates? I've been watching. Who would you choose out of all of the, how many is there? In the Republican Party? Okay, there's this guy, Tim Scott. Yeah, I know who he is. Yeah. Seems reasonable. Yes. Yes.

But then I have to look at what he thinks about certain things. Although, actually... You're never going to agree with everything. Exactly. And also, I'm a Brit, so I... Brit-Irish. I, you know, as I say, I can watch it from a slightly more impartial point of view to a certain extent. But if it was Tim Scott versus Joe Biden, I could see weighing that. Whereas I would, out of hand, dismiss a lot of other Republicans against Joe Biden. What about him against Trump?

Well, I mean, Tim Scott is against Trump. They're both Republicans. But they're in the party. That's a weird one. Well, that's the primary. I mean, one of them will be the candidate. No, if they ended up running, those two would be interesting. But they can't run against each other. They're in the same party. Oh, see, so one of them has to be knocked out. Yes. Okay. So they're in the semifinals. Okay, okay. Football, football. Tim Scott's trying to take it. Right. I mean, it's going to be Trump.

You think? Of course. He's ahead by like 40 points. Interesting. Oh, yeah. Well, he's already been president. I mean, that's an unprecedented thing for someone who has a stature as crazy as he is to be, oh, I'm in the Republican primary. Maybe you know my credentials. Ah.

I was president and this guy's a fucking farmer. Okay, you have a biopharmaceutical company. Congratulations. I used to have my own plane with military equipment on it. So fuck off. I saw his plane when I was in Florida. I was impressed. Right, exactly. Politics is show business. He's the biggest star.

It's Shirley Bassey. Well, she wasn't the biggest star. Shirley Bassey was never a big star. Oh, and in the UK she was. Oh, really? Yeah, I guess so. She was a huge legend in the UK. Not in America. Not in America, but in England she is...

Showbiz royalty, legend, total legend. Goldfinger, right? Yeah, never, never, never, never, never. There's many. But that's what we... Jazz, you know, jazz, that kind of more... But Goldfinger was sexy as... Insane. Sexy as fuck. You want to get back to Fingers again, don't you? You just want to get back to... The man.

The man with the Midas touch. Such a cold touch. All the time. You know, what do people say to me? What turns you on about a man? Indifference. Really? Yeah. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But why? What are you like in a female? The opposite. Ego. Difference. Chasing you. Chasing you. If the opposite of indifference is difference, I'm looking for difference. You want someone to give you compliments. Well, I learned when I was like 19 that, oh, you know, the way to go isn't to think movies are real and that when you meet someone who fucking hates you at the beginning, it's going to turn out good. No, probably.

Probably the one who doesn't like you at the beginning is going to stay not liking you. So don't like work so hard, like winning over someone who doesn't like you. Go for the people who like you already, who you seem to vibe with. I mean, even as dumb as I was in my 20s, I kind of got that. Have you been married? Oh, you've never been married. You told me that already. Never been married. Tell me that. Perfect record. Wow.

would you have gotten married if it was illegal in all those years no no it was felt like very for me personally i obviously i was upheld anyone's right to do whatever they want you know to a certain extent um but uh you know it wasn't something i really aspired to because are you in a relationship now maybe you see i didn't want to answer but i

And you're like, maybe. Well, good. I'm not lying, Liz. I'm not crying over my Elvis records. Let's keep our assholes private. Oh, none of that. LAUGHTER

Not publicly, anyway. I think that... I mean, look... I always said I wanted to grow old disgracefully, but I think that's probably not true. I think I'm a little bit more... That's a scream. I have a bit more self-preservation than I thought I had. Grow old disgracefully. That is genius. It's very strange, actually. It's really strange because you just forget where you are. It's weird.

Well, that's the nicest compliment you could give me. Everyone says that. That was my goal here. It was like, how can I actually make people forget where they are and that we're just not being exactly who we are? And I feel like we were exactly who we are. For better or worse. I have this thing on stage now where I say to the audience, actually, I feel like I'm in my living room, but I'm dressed up a bit better than I would be at home. Right. But that's a real thing for me, to find that kind of...

relaxation in a in a space like that was a lot of people staring at you you know like a mad tennis match or something how do you act normal in that situation i mean you do you know you you're probably person so you must have some of that you know with the do you get scared of the audience ever or not scared of the audience no no it's funny and i've had were you ever scared of the audience well

I put it out of my mind. Look, I mean, I've said many controversial things and have had both sides mad at me. Stand by them still, the controversial things you say? Of course. You've never changed your mind about something? Of course not. Ever? Ever. What's the most controversial thing you've ever said? Am I allowed to ask you? No, you're not.

Well, I have. And if that's the most controversial thing I've ever done, how sad. I mean, I got into big trouble after 9/11. You know, stuff like that. My hairdresser's a conspiracy theorist. He explains why I wear hats. My hairdresser in London is-- he'll go mad. Not a conspiracy. He calls himself a critical thinker. He's very precise.

And he is, he's great. I often, when I'm travelling, I'll send messages saying, "What do you think about this?" I love having Hamilton's view on the world because it's so... He spends time, he does all the stuff. I won't read the manual. I'm not going to go online and read things. I'll just listen to someone smart like yourself. Yeah, that's interesting. You think that's dangerous? Well... It's lazy research, it's called. I love that you were like, well...

He thinks of himself as a critical thinker, but he's really a conspiracy theorist. I mean, those two do travel sometimes. He goes insane at me when I call him a conspiracy theorist. But like one man's critical thinker is the other man's, you know.

He has been right about some things. Sometimes he gets it right. Yes, I mean... But if you hate everyone, you're always going to get too... You know, you're sort of cynical from the beginning. But that's the problem, I think, today more than ever, is that people make decisions not on what they really think about something. They never engage with the issue itself, if they can. It's just about whose team am I on and who do I hate?

How can I use this issue to show how much I hate you? I'm lucky I don't really hate people. I don't either. I can't be bothered. I hate hate. It's time consuming. You know what I mean? It is time consuming. And it also means that when you get locked into that thing, I mean, when I was younger, I definitely had an appetite for revenge. I could wait years to get revenge on someone. You know, I could. Yeah.

Not anything bad, but just, you know, I don't know, just to get them back. Right. And now I just can't be bothered. Now I'm just like, I'm over it already. Because you won. I blocked them. Well, you won the game. You know, you're Boy George and they're not. That's it. Like, it's so much easier...

Do I wish I was younger? Yeah, but psychologically, it's so much easier to live in this head where I've already gotten past the one thing that had me enduring more anxiety than anything else, which is, am I going to be a failure? Or am I going to have a good life where I'm fulfilled and appreciated? And it turned out I did. That's good. That made my early... You have to work on it, though. I feel like it's...

For me personally, yeah, I have to remember everything has to be fun. You know what I mean? On the road, in the dressing room. Fun? Fun. And that's a dangerous word, fun. I don't mean like fun as in like, ugh. It has to just, you know, I get a lot of pleasure out of, which blows my mind now, doing nothing.

like sitting around but doing it well. I don't mean just like doing nothing as in like, I'm bored. Not actually going, no, I'm actually really seeking to do nothing, think nothing, feel nothing. But you don't mean you're just sitting still doing nothing. Yeah, yeah.

It's called meditation. You're not... Oh, really? You're not reading and watching TV? Sometimes I can get locked into the TV thing and start to... But news is relentless now. It's the same thing every 20 minutes. It's over and over and over and over. No, I don't watch cable news. So I try to avoid that as much as I can. Listen to music. Listen to music. Hang out with great people. But those are things. So you're not doing nothing. I'm the same way. I love time off. No, but sometimes...

sitting in front of the TV watching you know The Price is Right right well I love The Price is Right okay but I mean I watch TV every day Family Fortunes yes particularly in America not so much in the UK but here I love it you cannot get so excited the last hour of my day is always watching TV it's the it's the cherry on top of a day yeah for me and it's

What do you watch? I certainly wouldn't watch The Price is Right. It's like 500 brilliant streaming shows. I would, no. Yeah, of course I do that as well. I know. But in that sort of, you know, when you don't want to commit to like,

A series or watch a movie from the beginning and end? I don't want to commit to a series. Do you stop at the start? Do you go back to the beginning? No, I just feel like most series are not worthy of a series. They should smush it into one good movie. Are you like that with records where you play a few bars? I used to do it as a DJ. I used to play about four or four bars and know it wasn't for me. Just on the hi-hat and the bass drum. Well, that's a thing I think we all go through when you're starting a show. You're like, geez, do I want to commit and...

I don't want to, like, lose this hour I already invested in that, but I don't want to be the idiot who's chasing good money after bad. Should I keep watching? And, like, sometimes you do, and you're halfway through, and you go, you know what? I gave you enough time, you fuckers. I gave you more than enough time, and you didn't turn it around. No, I guess I'm never going to see if the baby gets kidnapped at the end or whatever the fuck it is. You know what? So...

What are we talking about? Well, I think what we're... I don't know. I think I'm saying, not that I'm trying to say anything, because I'm trying to avoid being sort of one of those people that says things. Too late. Just that, you know, like, sometimes real happiness is in the mundane. Totally. In fact, I think it's only in the mundane. Well, okay. See, because I'm a Capricorn, wink, wink. Yeah. Okay. I'm like...

week and or that's like I'm an organizational freak so I can be so happy like puttering around the house organizing shit on your terms though I mean on my terms it's my house yes you live with other people right I live with other people of course not yeah they're named Chico and Chula they have four legs your partner lives somewhere else in the tree house

What are you, Rona Barrett? Fuck off. Fuck off with my dating or whatever. Shut up. I Live Alone is all you need to know. I live alone. That's a great song. Did you ever hear this? Listen, we need a piano player. I live alone. No, no. That's all you need to know. Right, so. I got it. Well, okay. I got to recommend an album to you. You're going to love this.

A Man Alone. By who? Frank Sinatra. I know that record, I'm sure. It's a concept album written by a gay poet. Are you lying now? I am not lying. Rod McKeown was a gay poet in 1969. He wrote an album for Frank Sinatra called A Man Alone.

It's amazing music. Is it helpful? It's themeful. Well, it's about, you know, Frank is now over 50, and he's like, in me you see a man alone, but not lonely, see, except when the darkness... I met Frank Sinatra. Except when the darkness comes. I met him. And? It was amazing. You blew him? No, no, no, but I kind of, you know, I ended up writing about it in a song because at the time... Really? Yeah, I ended up...

Would you have blown him if he said he wanted him?

No, really. Would you? I mean, it's Frank Sinatra. You wouldn't want to say... Just to see the White House. Just to... Just to say you'd had his cock in your mouth. I will never, ever desecrate the memory of Frank Sinatra by answering that question. I'll take that as a yes. Fuck off. Take that as a yes. Fuck off. I still love Nancy Sinatra. Me too. These boots are made for walking. Yeah, so good. But how creepy was it that they sang a romantic...

duet as a father and daughter you look for the dark in most things no no no i'm not i don't think i am the only one do you know what song i'm talking about something stupid we're that version of that you know back in the day you know it yeah i know that song of course that came out in 1966. how old were you

God, I was a child. '66? Mm-hmm. Four or five. You think you heard it then in your house? I knew that song. From being in the house? I don't know if I knew it. Yeah, I mean, it was a really famous song in the UK.

I might have had five that may have was because my dad was a builder so my dad used to take stuff from houses that people had run away from all the other thing in the UK called a moonlight flip where you know, no second bills leave all your belongings. So we used to get all these records I heard a lot of stuff because of that also start records on the radio, Nancy Sinatra these bits made for walking.

Morrissey loves Nancy Sinatra as well. They're friends. The stars are red, the perfume fills my head.

Come on, man. You know you got a heart on when you heard that. Probably not. I did. Because Nancy Sinatra was hot. Oh, yeah, different. I was in love with Lou Reed. It did seem wrong. She was singing it with her father. But again, it's a song. It's a real life. It should be redone by Trump and Ivanka. That would be amazing. That would be amazing. Somebody out there, please do an AI thing.

of a trumpet of something stupid oh no I thought you meant Melania I was like oh my God he's dragging me into the daughter who he really loves don't push me into corners that are so dark I mean that is dark that Trump has this I mean maybe he's maybe that's an exaggeration but he does seem like in a he's not

afraid to be inappropriate in talking about his daughter in like how hot she is and their tits. If that was a comedian though, would you like say, would you say it was okay? No, I just, it just points to my theme with Trump is always he's stupid and he's crazy. He's both things. See, that sounds like a song to me. He's stupid and he's crazy. Or something stupid. Could be in my Trump opera. I might write a Trump opera.

I mean he's he's he's perfect for an opera character you think well of course Jerry Springer well bigger than life and

People, everybody knows the story and I mean they would shit on it but then they wouldn't go to it because it's interesting. You put Big Ethel Merman in there, you'll be laughing. As Trump? I mean, they're both blondes with big tits. You're fucking funny. I heard that. You're really going to write an opera about Trump?

I don't know. I thought about it last night, but it was... I think it's a great idea, actually. I just love this whole moment of sort of, you know, that whole thing walking as a four-man jump. Well, you just have to wait till we have the information that would provide the final act. Like, what is the final act? Is he reinstated, like...

Eva Peron to the presidency, which could happen next year. He could definitely cry for me. I can see. I can see that. That's hysterical.

I don't know. Sometimes I watch pop culture and I think, oh, it'd be great to know what's going to happen six months from now. I'd love to be able to jaunt forward. Not that I want to lose that precious time, but it's fascinating where we'll be this time next year. How we'll be thinking about life and things. I'm just always thinking about you. And as far as you go...

An opera about Trump, you can't do it until there is the denouement. There has to be, we have to have an ending to this. It can't be in medias res. I'll put it on hold then. And he could live to 100. I don't know. David Burns has done a musical about... He could haunt this country for another 20 years. I mean, Imelda Marcos, David Burns' show. What do you think about that?

I mean, I like David Burns, though. I do, too. I had him on my show. I went to see Moulin Rouge, and I love the fact they've got Bernie down the house in that. Such a great song. It's so out of context in that show, but you just realize, yeah, it's a great tune. I love that tune. You're Petrified is a great song. It is. That's a great show, too. That was actually a bit... That's the, to me, that and the final song.

Those are the winners. I have to tell you that that song, Petrified, was kind of written in a style of like Lennon and Yoko. If you heard the intro to that, if you heard the original demo. No, you can laugh. No, no, no. I'm not laughing. I'm going to listen to what you recommend. Or I'll just go to iTunes. I even imagined her singing that chorus. When you're alone.

Say T-Rex. And I do you run and hide. Say T-Rex. Great. Say T-Rex, say Yoko. I'm always rooting for the music to be good when I buy it. I am rooting for the music to succeed. I'm rooting. Really. I'll have to find the demo of me singing it like Yoko.

almost impersonating her i'm just but i'm just telling you at least here in america the common perception of yoko is shrieking it's it's atonal shrieking well yeah but that's because people haven't explored okay you're right maybe she's got a cover of crimson and clover that's going to knock me on my ass she's really good okay interesting yeah i i am so anxious to to have this we will change our minds about yoko i promise you

you had it here i'm rooting for it i'm so rooting for it really i love her i think she's amazing i always want more good i love lennon yes and i think he had good judgment yeah i mean not always but i think yeah yeah he loved the old guy though

Yes, but when you watch the Peter Jackson Let It Be, Get Back, did you watch it, the nine hours? No. No? No. No. What did they say? Did they slug off Diogo? Tell me now so I can skip forward. You're not that interested in the Beatles? No, I'm obsessed with the Beatles, but not to the extent that I want to watch a nine-hour film. Okay. I watch it in bits.

I might have watched bits of it. Anyway, it's interesting. Can I summarize it for you? Yeah, go on. Would you be interested? Of course, don't worry.

And this is a real Beatle file. You think I talk a lot? No, I don't. You talk much more than I do. I'm not counting. It's not a competition. I went on that show. I barely spoke. Go on, tell me. We know that's hardly true. Tell me about this. Okay, so the big takeaway is that... For you, for you.

Trust me. Trust me you for everyone at this point. This is unmistakable No one's gonna argue with it. I can okay. It is a snapshot of time It is the month is one month of their lives January 1969 so I'm only talking about one month of their life, but in that month I promise you John Lennon and Paul McCartney did not hate each other and

There's nine hours of footage. You can't hide it. They are still in love with each other. Not... That's just a detail, though. Okay. I knew you'd say that. But eye contact, jokes between themselves, just laughing, kidding around, silly shit that lovers do. Yeah. And the other two Beatles are there, and they like them, but it's just so obvious that...

He ignores Yoko the whole time she's there. She's like a potted plant. She sits there. He never even talks to her. She's just there. He's locked in with Paul McCartney. That was the Beatles, apparently. Now, the other two weren't great because they were, but these two had a thing. George Harrison, sorry.

My hero. Yes, me too. And Ringo too. Come on, Ringo's amazing. I love Ringo. Okay, but this was the group. Every group has a nexus.

And well, yeah, but it's also the sum of its parts, isn't it? It's like why something works is because he was in the room sometimes. Yes and no. Yes and no, but yes and no. No and yes. This is no disrespect to George Harrison and Paul and Ringo Starr, but if it had just been John and Paul, they probably, I mean, they made one record. But if you only wrote Here Comes the Sun, that's enough. That's a great record.

You know, or "While My Guitar Gently Weaves." Yeah, he wrote all-- I'm a big George Harrison fan. What's the other one? Oh, there's hundreds of them. Not hundreds, no. But there's more than people know. You know "Poor Little Girl," George Harrison? Yeah. "Cheer Down." Not well-known tracks that are awesome. I'm a massive George Harrison fan. Yes. And also, you know, the thing is,

I caught on to the Beatles quite late. You know, I missed the sort of maniacs. I was a child. But I caught on to the more psychedelic, you know, Sgt. Pepper, Revolver, all that stuff is when I got into the Beatles. Right. When they were being really experimental and, you know. Well, George, I mean, George Harrison invented the...

charity rock concert, which I know you did Band-Aid. I did the record, not the gig. Not the show. I didn't do Live A, but I did the record. The Christmas, right? I did the Christmas one, yeah. What is it? Feed the World.

But wasn't it, do they know it's Christmas? Yeah, Feet the Well. We call it Feet the Well. That's been in my Christmas playlist. That's a great Christmas song. It is a good song. It is a good song. It's iconic. It's just a really good record. Yeah. Anyway, but he invented that in 1971 with the concert for Bangladesh. Although as a brilliant comedian friend of mine pointed out, perhaps the most unfortunate inartful lyric ever was,

bangladesh bangladesh it sure looks like a mess come on man but a great song it works the song is great it works george harris had a way of writing like uh upbeat songs with like downbeat lyrics but that's i think that's me it's kind of happy no it can kind of be great oxymoron it's like a

I've just worked on something that's... Do you know the song he made for John Lennon after John Lennon was killed called All Those Years Ago? No. No? No.

Is that Paul McCartney? No, Paul McCartney. George Harrison. Paul did a song called Here Today. That was his tribute. You know that one? Yeah. Obviously, all these, it's so much of stuff that I've heard for years. All those years ago is an awesome record. It's a great upbeat rocker, but the lyrics are all about John Lennon. I'm more of a Bowie obsessive. That's really where my area of expertise in terms of if I was going to do a quiz.

that would be a bowie quiz although i probably get a lot of that wrong now anyway because i've you know i've been immersed in my own stuff for so long you know don't i'm not a teenager anymore so but the bowie still pretty much know every lyric to every song he ever wrote you are a teenager you're a teenager in your mind see that's one of the great things about not marrying or having children

is that you're still like the youngest person of your immediate DNA. You know what I mean? Like, there's no version 2.0 of you, so you're still having to hold up the part of life that is fun. And, you know... I think I pursue joy in a way that I didn't when I was younger. And it's not particular things that make me happy. Kind of everything sort of makes me happy.

I don't want to be gross, but even the smell of my own farts can be such a pleasure. Well, it was a pleasure to have you over, boy, George. Good luck with all your future projects. Oh, yeah. I know when to wrap up an interview.