No Dunks Live in ATL | Podcast Pizza Party Presented By TABASCO
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That was easy.

Stitch Fix, online personal styling for everyone. Free shipping and returns, no subscription required. Get started today at stitchfix.com. Yes! Good evening, sweet world! And welcome to the No Dunks Live podcast pizza party with Tabasco Brand! Yes! Yes!

Give it up, Sauceds! Yeah, it's Thursday night, March 27th, 2025. I'm J.E. Skeets here at the Seven Stages Theater in beautiful Paul and Ridden, Atlanta, Georgia. And alongside me, as always, give it up for Tass Mellis. It is nice seeing people in person. The internet sucks. No, I'm just kidding. Next to him, it's the bearded one. It's my Top Shot hot boy. It's Trey Kirby. Hey-o! All right, all right. Well done.

Also way in the back making the magic happen give it up for super producer JD I can't even see him if he's up there

That's his light. That's his light up there, I think. It's a halo. And we also have Eshua Kidd in the building. He will be taking some of your questions later. Yeah, cheer it up for your dad. That's right, give it up for Ash. His kids are here. His kids are here. And we have Kendall Bennett also helping us out. So the whole athletic crew here. We've got a massive crew for this show. We have more pizzas than we have people helping with this show. We were putting children to work.

Stuffing bags. I think I'm joking, but I'm not. No, we're not. We're not. And there will be, before anyone just gets up and leaves, there will be pizza served for all of you. You may have thought, is this a weird bit they've just been doing for two or three weeks? No, there's going to be pizza, and there's going to be Tabasco, and you're going to have it after you listen to us for a little bit. That's the rules.

I'm so concerned about knocking over these bottles of Tabasco. It's usually at this point of the show where I shout out the stream team, but let's give it up for the live audience instead. Cheer for yourselves. Hoot and holler for yourselves. I was thinking, instead of asking you to hit a like button, maybe just thumbs up? Everybody just throw a thumbs up? That's nice. It's reaffirming. And instead of five-star ratings and reviews...

Maybe take out your phone, turn the flashlight light on, sort of strobe it in front of it. Wow, thank you. I didn't think you were actually going to do it. Five times. Five times I'm counting. It looks like the Miami Heat are going to tip off. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Beautiful stuff. Speaking of phones, feel free to take any photos. And if you do, tag No Dunks, tag The Athletic, and tag...

Tabasco. That's right. That's right. In fact, if you're gonna tag anyone, tag Tabasco. Okay, so fun show I think lined up here. Hopefully. Yeah, we're gonna find out. You have an Atlanta edition of the UpDown Report. Yeah, all your favorite and least favorite things about Atlanta. We're gonna talk about them. And then later tonight, thanks to the legendary hot sauce makers at Tabasco Brand.

We'll be hosting a bracket of our own to find out which pizza topping reigns supreme. I'm not kidding. - Real bracket. - And audience participation is required. So you're gonna be chiming in on that. Supreme, supreme, that's a pizza. - That's a pizza. Pizza style. - But we're doing toppings, we're doing toppings. - Yeah, next year we're doing genres of pizza. Meat lovers, supreme.

The other ones. Right. But we're doing topics. We're doing topics tonight. But we're going to talk a little bit of basketball because March Madness continues tonight. Sweet 16 underway. I guess we will have some games here in Atlanta. Did anybody come just for the NCAA basketball games?

Okay, all NBA fans perfect. Cool cool cool. All right The big one tonight I guess is Duke versus Arizona and then obviously three other ones and then we got four tomorrow night some of those here in Atlanta We only have one double-digit seed through to the sweet 16 the hogs. There's the hogs. Yeah, it is the Razorbacks right now. Um

Is that good or bad to you that we only have one double digit seeded team through to the Sweet 16? - Well, I'm personally furious that it went down like that 'cause our Sweet McNeice boys got taken down in the second round, the round of 32, so that was disappointing.

thing that bums me out about the NCAA tournament is when you get to Monday and there's not games on the middle of the day. What's going on? You get used to it. Four straight days where it's on. It feels like 24 hours. I know you're sleeping at some point during that, but it feels like it's on every moment you're awake and then you get to Monday. You're like, what? You don't want to break at that point?

I don't want a break, but I think I need a break, right? Okay. And are you a fan of like, do you wish there were more Cinderella teams? Oh, yeah. There's zero Cinderella teams. Everybody's shooting threes, all these big power conferences. What happened to the game I love?

Well, it's funny you say that because I was wondering your opinion on the way they do March Madness now and the way they space out those games over the first two weekends. Like, I saw some people saying, go back to the way it was where, like, a lot more were happening and overlapping at the same time. And then, as a viewer, they just show you when it gets close. But now the way they're spaced out, it's like...

You were watching 48 games, some sickos are, over the entire four days. Do you wish it went back to like, "Hey, broadcasters, show me when it's a tight game in the final three minutes." I didn't know it changed. I thought it was the same. I thought they were overlapping. No, remember back in the day when we were maybe into it a lot more? Yeah, they were like more overlap and you would sort of pick and choose. They would show you like, "Oh, this one's worth checking out." Like a red zone. It was basically March Madness red zone.

Well, that's a great idea. They should go back to that. I thought it was, that's what was happening. There was four games on at the same time. Yeah, but I think they were like, they're more spaced out. Okay, that's probably true. According to data pulled from Nielsen, approximately 3,000 people have watched at least one minute of all 48 NCAA men's basketball tournament games played so far.

Are you impressed by that or not? And do you think it would have been higher? Only 3,000 sickos is what I'm getting at. Yeah, I would think it would be higher. Right. It sounds low. I think more people are going to eat pizza tonight than have watched NCAA basketball. Do we have an auxiliary audience that I'm not aware of? No, there are not 3,000 people in here.

What do you think, Trey? Are you impressed by that? 3,000 sickos. I'm tuning in every game. I thought there would be way more gamblers out there. Right. Yeah, like 3,000. I grew up in a small town, a town of 6,000. 3,000 is smaller. Yes. So I can't. So therefore, I can't be impressed. I simply can't be impressed. That's why I asked. It's got to be bigger than Plano, Illinois for me to be impressed. Okay. I'm asking the hard-hitting questions here today. Do you have a pick to win the entire thing here? War Eagle. War Eagle.

That's right. I'm an Auburn Tiger for the month of March into April. They're the Auburn Tigers, but they say War Eagle. I don't get it either. Make it make sense. I don't get it. Okay, but you're backing them. Do you have a team, Tess, that you're cheering for? I'm riding Duke. I know. It's a little Yankees-like. No response from the crowd at all. None. There's some hatred. I could see it in people's eyes. They don't want Duke to win.

Think they're fun to watch okay are fun to watch I am going you said it already team Razorbacks Doing it for woo from Deadwood. That's right. It's a reference only three of you will get um hold on I have to ask the people who are excited for the War Eagles. Are you attending the game tomorrow? Yeah? Yes, what is the most you would pay to watch let's say an elite eight game on the weekend here in Atlanta?

What would you pay with no allegiance to either team? I would pay a couple hundred dollars. Okay, that's what it's going to cost you, I think. No, it's costing like five to six to seven hundred dollars at minimum. Just to get in? To sit in the nosebleeds. Wow, I'm not paying that. Am I right? Yes. Yeah, this was not that. That's called counter-programming. For our podcast listeners, our fans, Cho's,

to do this instead, because they can afford this. Right, right. And it comes with pizza and Tabasco, for sure. You could come see this podcast like five or six times.

We might have to start it over. No, no, no. So what would you pay? Well, there's a scenario out there where Michigan and Michigan State both advance and play each other on Sunday, and I would go to that for free. Okay. Or if Tabasco paid for it. Okay, okay. Yeah, because you are a blue fan. I'm a fan, of course. I'd cheer for Michigan, no doubt. But...

I heard it's expensive. And, you know, I mean, I'm a Michigan fan, but am I the biggest fan? No, probably not. A few years ago, we went, I guess Tass wasn't with us, but you and I went to the UConn National Championship win over San Diego State University, I want to say. That's right. In Houston. It was in the big, giant, like, football stadium. NRG Stadium. It was one of the worst basketball games I've ever seen. Yeah.

It does not work in a football stadium. I know State Farm's not that, so that's not an issue, but...

That was crazy bad. You understand why the shooting percentages are so low for the final four games because the stadium was humongous. And I always remember that UConn won their second title, but then I have to go to Wikipedia to look up who they were playing against. And it was SDSU. Yeah. It was a 76-59 snoozer. So it's the sight lines. It's the sight lines. We were in the second level of...

We were so far away Atmosphere in the game sort of stunk - I get it, but we had more fun waiting for our uber ride after the game Because the people Getting yelled at was interesting. There was a guy that sat like three or four rows in front of us and

who I think was convinced that we were cheering for San Diego State and every time UConn would score, he'd get around back, "What man, what?" - Yeah. - We're like, well. - We don't care man. - Good game. Nice shot. Klingon looks good. - Do you have, as we wrap up the NCAA talk here, do you have a favorite prospect remaining?

Guess of the 16. I like that Derek Queen guy. Okay from Maryland from the Terrapins you like traveling Do you on game winners? It looks like he's gonna sorry NBA for sure Yeah, he'll fit right in yeah exactly the game for it already, but a big guy who's got nimble feet and can pass I love that guy. He's also got a baby face. This might be in a giant great stuff. Okay checks all your boxes

Yeah. Do you have anyone? I've got to be excited for the Cooper flag. I've got to be excited for him. I can't help it. He's an 18-year-old kid, but he passes. He isn't a ball hog. He's smart already. Two quick fouls in the first half. Just gets smart about it. Doesn't foul the rest of the game. Also, Jason Richardson's son. I'm excited. Jace. Jace. He's a good game. Okay. He's a lefty. How did he do that? I like right now. His dad's a righty. Yeah.

You didn't think it? You thought it was passed down? Yes, exactly. It's like if your grandfather is bald, that means you're going to be bald. Wait, no. If your mom's dad is bald, you'll be bald. That's bull poop. Is it? Yes. Oh. I wouldn't know. My grandfather has a great set of hair. Same with me. What about you? Are you going to lose your hair? Well, my grandpa was a little sparse up top. I know that.

Is he here? My grandfather had hair down to his butt. I just want to brag. You have a great son of hair. I just had to brag about him. All right. So you've got, just to clarify, Auburn. Auburn. Come on. Yell it again. We got Auburn fans. Eagles. War. Oh, you're not supposed to say that separately. They're just yelling Eagles out there. You got Duke, and I got the Razorbacks. There we go. Good luck to everybody. Good luck to everyone.

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As we progress through the season, every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept. But you know what isn't hard to accept? Discover. Believe it or not, Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. You heard that right, 99%. So make a good call for your wallet and get Discover. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card.

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Let's get into the Atlanta edition of the UpDown Report. Prepare your tools. It's the UpDown Report. Trey Kirby, you got our topics here. All right, we got a few UpDown topics. I'll give you guys the topic. Everybody out in the crowd, feel free to chime in. Thumbs or, you know, just cheers, whatever. Our first UpDown category topic, saying y'all. Y'all.

Y'all! What's up, y'all? Are y'all in on saying y'all? Absolutely up. Did not take me long to adopt saying y'all. I think you guys can attest to that. I feel like the first three things you gotta do when you start or you live in Atlanta, you gotta buy a car.

Gotta buy a car. You ain't going anywhere without a car. So how to do that, you gotta check out Magic City. Just gotta, gotta see what it's about. And then you just gotta start seeing y'all. And I love it. After that, you gotta get a tree guy. Have a guy come over and check your trees. Are they gonna fall on my house? Maybe. It is nice to have a tree guy. That's number four. Yeah. So I love it. I say it a lot. Do you? Yeah. Yeah, you're a y'all sayer. I say it a lot. I actually write it a lot.

In emails and in our Slack channels. You're writing it in Slack channels all the time. I'm a y'all guy. Are you? I go both ways. I don't like saying it directly to people. Hey, y'all. But I do like to say, hey, are y'all going to the Cherry Blossom Festival this Saturday in Brookhaven to see OAR perform? Apparently they are.

And Boyz II Men the following day? They're getting OAR and Boyz II Men? Yes. That's actually a great double bill. It's great. Yes. In two days. Last year was Lisa Loeb. They keep killing it. Is this a free show? It's actually really good, man. Are they giving away pizza and Tabasco sauce? Wow. Okay. Yeah. And you're up on y'all? Yeah, I'm 100% up on saying y'all. It's replaced you guys for me.

Way more inclusive. It did take me two years before I felt comfortable to start saying it. And then two more years after that of not feeling like a carpetbagger. You know, like coming down and stealing the slang from down south. But now it just flows off my tongue. I'll put it in a Slack channel, no problem. What was the guy's, the monster's name from Goonies? Was it Chunk? No, Chunk and Sloth. Sloth. Who yells, hey you guys? That's Sloth? Imagine him yelling Sloth.

Very funny. All right, you mentioned Magic City our second topic lemon pepper wings and Atlanta specialty Yeah, the people love lemon pepper wings. You can let have them dry or you can have them wet I can I

wet has like maybe they'll mix it with a sauce a lemon sauce some will do a buffalo sauce or a simple butter sauce invented by atlanta deli to be quite honest wow you're changing my what was gonna be thumbs down yeah i'm a saucy guy i'm a sauce man when it comes to my podcast sponsors and my wigs but i didn't know i thought he was

Lemon Pepper Wings were dry. Absolutely. I thought they were too. Majority dry. Okay. Majority dry. Come on, there's a famous episode in season one of Atlanta where they go to J.R. Crickets and they're ordering Lemon Pepper Wet, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I've seen that. And I did not remember that. Then I'm thumbs up. Yeah, I'm in it. Because I like the flavors. Yes, I'm a sauce man as well. You're a sauce man as well. But you don't like a dry rub? No. Who does? My mouth is parched as it is. I need all the lubricant help I can get. Desert-ish. I am, I am right now. Take a sip right now. Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Is that the sauce?

You have a sip of sauce? Remind me I had a drink hiding behind these Tabasco bottles. Lemon pepper. Delicious flavor. Everybody out there is up as well. Seems like it. There we go. There's a couple in-betweens. We're calling them out. Try it, okay? Give it a chance. Our number three topic, Joe Johnson, Atlanta Hawk legend. Well, that's not the whole question, okay? We all love Joe Johnson. I'm up. Joe Johnson making the Hall of Fame. Are you up or down?

Here's the resume. 18 seasons. 18. 20,407 points. Seven teams. Seven-time All-Star. One-time All-NBA. Only one-time All-NBA. I can't get into this. He's not in a Hall of Fame for me. Cool nickname. Cool nickname. Okay. Hall of Very Good. Yeah. I hate to do this in front of an Atlanta crowd, but I think I got to go down. Yeah.

We need to change the threshold of getting in. I did just see, this was nice to be reminded of Joe Johnson. LeBron had his little tip-in buzzer beater last night against the Pacers. I think, I want to say, like, if you combine at least the playoffs, it was his eighth career game-winning buzzer beater tied with Joe Johnson as one of the guys. Maybe Kobe as well, but I was like, whoa. He had a ton of big shots. Yeah. I think here's his tip. Oh, wow. Oh, damn. What's the point?

All right. You know who never died? Joe Johnson. 18 years, that's a long time. Do you get in just for playing for 18 years? I don't know. Okay, so the last year he played one game with the Celtics. When he was 40, right? I was going to say, does the Hall of Fame consider the big three? It's not just NBA. It's right. It's everything. So that maybe helps his case. Maybe it does. I think he would maybe have won a championship, probably hit more big shots. Yeah, he probably did. But I think I'm down. I am down.

Only two seven-time all-stars are not in the Hall of Fame. LaMarcus Aldridge, same case, basically. And Larry Faust. Can you believe he's not in? Jeez, Larry Faust? You guys up or down on Larry Faust making the Hall of Fame? Tempted response. Tempted response for Larry. Who did he play for? The Providence Steamrollers? That's a different show. Who he played for is inside the NBA. Sorry, we don't have the rights.

Yeah, I guess I'm down. I'm down. Yeah, sorry. It came up about DeMar DeRozan this week that the threshold needs to change. 20,000 points, it ain't enough. Even LaMarcus Aldridge's 20,000 points, I would say it's more efficient. This guy's talking about efficiency while doing a live podcast? What a loser. But I will say that he shot threes after three after three. We've got to raise the bar. He hit...

100 threes in 12 seasons. We talked about DeMar DeRozan. He didn't hit 100 threes in any of those seasons. He's going to get 30,000 points. What I'm trying to say is you've got to change the bar. 20,000 points with threes is not enough. The counter is, was DeMar DeRozan that much better than Joe Johnson? He's going to score 10,000 more points. Period. That's a lot of points. Not hitting the threes. Okay. Okay, we're down.

- Nice, that was some good Joe Johnson stuff. - Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Johnson! - Everybody who didn't cheer, you're out of your case, Joe. He's in great shape still, I'll give him that. Does a ton of yoga. Awesome, he's in awesome shape. - Does a ton of yoga, very flexible. - I don't follow him on Instagram, but I'm fed his content. - That's 'cause you're always interacting with Joe Johnson's stuff, of course. You're like, man, I love those eight buzzer beaters. Our fourth topic, roller skating.

Skating around with wheels attached to your feet. Is this an Atlanta thing? It's big in Atlanta. I don't know if you've ever seen ATL starring T.I. and Big Boy, but it plays a huge part in that movie. I know the movie. This is from when we went skating at Sparkles. I don't know if we got any Sparkles fans out there. Oh, yes, I remember that. It was a traumatic moment, actually.

I fell on my elbow. I thought I broke it. It was fine. But I will give it an up if you have elbow pads provided. You're a safety first, you're saying. Helmets too? No, the head's fine. That's just my one requirement. You had fun doing it. I think we all did. Have you ever been back? Of course not. No, I have not. I'm down.

You're down? Sorry. You're not a big skater? Sorry. I'm not a big skater at all. Then explain this! You got me! You're skating right there, aren't you? Well, I wouldn't say I'm skating well. Yeah, you look a little cautious. That was pretty cool. That was a cool pose. I'm really hunched over doing it. I'm not good at it, obviously. I never grew up, despite being Canadian, ice skating all that much either. I don't know...

You were pretty good. I do remember you were pretty good ice skating, though, when we were in Toronto for All-Star and we had to race around the rink a couple of times. Good. Nathan Phillips. Any other Canadian would have been like, get out. I would have gotten pelted. Elbows up. To you, I was maybe decent. He's flying. He looks like Valerie Bure.

There's a Valerie Bray jersey in the audience. That's a great jersey. You don't think podcast listeners would have got that joke otherwise? So I'm down. Are you up or down? This has just been looping the entire time. This guy can't stop skating. He's obsessed. Yeah, I've been back a couple of times, and I thought I was like...

really carving it up out there one time. I was doing sick leans, crazy leans, got home, biggest blister I've had on my foot in my entire life. It was so bad. But I'm still up, 'cause when you see people who really know how to roller skate, it looks awesome. - Okay, I was looking at it like me doing it, but you're right, when you can see the pros doing it, they flip backwards, crossing their legs, going down one leg. - That's baller. - Coordinated moves going around. - Yeah, they're all dancing, yeah. It's like line dancing, but roller skating.

It's like line dancing, but roller skating. How about this? Did anybody else have roller skating in gym class? I know you did, my wife. Come on. A couple of hands. Not many. Saw one. Rare. Okay, line dancing. Did you have line dancing in gym class? What? Same people. When it gets cold in the winter, we do weird stuff, you know?

Alright, our fifth topic for Atlanta Up/Down Report. Are you up or down on putting metal plates over potholes? Oh, you'd rather drive over potholes? Come on, y'all! I'm totally comfortable with it in comparison to driving over a piece of plywood that's covering a hole, which I've been doing the last two days by JD's house.

Yes. They got a lot of stuff going down at that intersection there. And they just have a piece of plywood over a hole. I get nervous that I'm going directly into a hole. So give me a piece of metal, which isn't fun. Right. So you're up. Well, yes. In this situation, for this moment, I am. Because the last two days have not been fun. I've had a couple of by-lawns.

- That is crazy that you're driving over plywood. - I know. - I wouldn't, if I saw a hole, I knew there was a hole and it was covered in plywood, I wouldn't walk over it. - Yeah. - Let alone drive my car over it. - Yeah, and I haven't made the decision

The next day to go into a different route for some odd reason. I could have avoided it. They're going to get put out there and then they're never going to leave. That's true. There are those metal covers that have been here like the entire time we've been here. I did find a life hack for how to get them to remove those if they're near your house. I was reading up on it.

Because, you know, to be prepared. I can't just talk off the top of my head about these things covering potholes. There's no possible way. But apparently a few years ago, a woman threw a birthday party for one of these metal plates because it had been there for a year. So they're like, hey, happy birthday. It's still here. They came and got it the next day.

So if you embarrass the city about it, they will come and get it. Okay. Where do they put them? I don't know. There just must be a giant stack somewhere. That's a good point. Well, do you prefer that covering it? Not plywood. Or I love the classic when they just outline the pothole in white paint. That's my favorite. I do like it. So you can check the margins. It's like, oh, I wouldn't have seen that.

Well, metal plates better than potholes, worse than everything else. Our sixth topic, Sir Foster, former Hawks organist. Spent 16 years with the Hawks. Now he's doing his thing for the University of Georgia and some other local teams as well. You know, he plays hip-hop songs on an organ, and it sounds awesome, up or down. Yeah, and he's a musician. Came out with an album with...

It's all saxophone, right? I think. He's a sax specialist. Yeah. So I'm up on that. We need more saxophones in songs. That's 100% true. Yes.

Okay, I'm up. Played by him. I'm up, but you just told me he's not with the Hawks anymore. What's going on? I don't know. They got like a million DJs. Yeah. He was like a very unique DJ. I mean, he was, but he obviously played the keyboard. He was a huge part of the Hawks arena culture for a long time. They had him at All-Star games, and people aren't always hearing Sir Foster on the Hawks broadcast, but when they'd hear him during the All-Star game, like, who is this?

Right. People are putting their thumbs up. Yeah. People are pro Sir Foster. Yeah. Sir Foster. We had him on the show once. That was pretty funny. It was very funny. We put him in a tough spot. I remember. We're like, just play. Yeah. Yeah. It was a pick and pay off.

Your punishment was basically while you were talking, Sir Foster would play whatever he wanted to play. Right. It was very funny. I said it to... The joke was he would drown you out almost. And kind of like distract you, I think, as well. I thought it was just more fun. That was weird. The next pick and pay off is we're going to do a live show, but every like 40 to 50 seconds, there's just going to be a loud fucking noise. Can you get through it? Yeah, we can. We're rolling. We're rolling.

Up or down on tiny doors. The art project. Yes. Tiny doors. There's one outside here, actually, at Seven Stages. Looks very cool. But you see these around Atlanta, all different places. There's 30 or more of them. Did you know which one is here? Tiny door number seven. Oh, it's leveled. Seven Stages Theater. Yeah, they all have a number. Brilliant. I don't know if it's numbered on the door, but on the website, they're all numbered. Great. I thought that was a nice touch. You think they just were waiting for it? They're like, we can't

We can't do it yet. They thought about doing it for five. They're like, little five points? Nah. Just wait two more? Who cares? I am. Big thumbs up on this. Brings a little joy and wonder to an otherwise concrete jungle. So, thumbs up.

Am I wrong? Am I wrong? I wonder who could fit through that door. No one. I'm down. Unusable doors? Ridiculous. Just kidding. They're beautiful. The website was having some problems. It was working when I checked it out. Oh, really? Every time I go to the website and the door is supposed to open, it just slams right in your face and it's a little spooky. So if that website is working, way up.

Brings a little joy in a concrete jungle. A little joy and wonder in another one's concrete jungle. I mean, we just got done talking about metal plates on the road. That's a good point. Yeah, there's quite the opposite sides of the spectrum. Yeah. Metal plates and the tiny doors. But we've got it all here in Atlanta.

Beautiful stuff. Our final up-down topic, it comes to us from 1998. It's this Tabasco sauce slash pizza commercial from the Super Bowl in 1998. A guy is eating pizza. He is putting Tabasco sauce on it, and eventually a mosquito is going to come and bite his leg. And that mosquito is going to fly away. Yep.

and burst into flames. Oh. From the spicy original pepper sauce. Barrel-aged peppers. Three simple ingredients. Oh, people are loving it. They're gonna laugh. Geez, they're gonna laugh.

Round of applause. People love this commercial. According to a reputable website, superbowl-ads.com, top rated from the 1998 Super Bowl. Okay. So this one made an impact. 98? Good year. Terrell Davis?

Probably. Go Broncos? Yeah. One of the great running backs we ever had. That zone blocking scheme. Honestly, I can't believe this because you said it earlier. I think Boyz II Men was the halftime act at the 98 Super Bowl. Yeah. Or a part of it at least. What does Super Bowl-ad say about that? Do they have a rating of Boyz II Men? Yeah, I guess I am up.

I was surprised to hear there was a lot of grunting when you brought up the commercial. It seemed like people weren't... No, isn't it? I think it was more like a, oh, a trip down memory lane. Is that how you read it? Okay. I remember this. And then they all laughed. Yeah. So, of course. Yeah. It's great. Do you think it would work? Do you think that could really happen? I want to know if it would work better than Backyard Care Company taking care of my mosquito. What a plug. What a plug. What a plug.

I know my guy's great in here. I'm kidding. It works perfectly, especially if you sell the traps. Oh, my God. This show brought to you by what company is that? The Backyard Care Company. Oh, it's the interference of our phones. No way. Come on. What is this, 1995? Thank you, Ash. Thank you, Ash. Hopefully no one has to get in touch with me.

You gotta make everybody hand over their phones when they enter the door. Yeah, everybody hand over your phones. Right now. Yeah, I'm going out with my phone. Maybe I was going to say I triggered it when I said everybody take out your phone, turn your flashlight on, do the strobe thing for five stars. The strobes was what we were doing. It's on me, this one's on me. It's going to be the strobes. Yeah, but I'm up on this. Yeah, I'm up. This commercial changed my life.

Laura always says I'm a marketer's dream. It goes way back literally the day after I saw this I started eating Tabasco sauce on pizza. Oh my god It was like the first hot sauce I ever had was because of this commercial you would have been look where we are like what it's 1516 14 thank you very much 14 14 14 probably actually 13 depending on when the Super Bowl was Did you see her did you see yourself in this man? I've been bitten by a mosquito Why would I try that

I was like, interesting. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it for the rest of my life. As you've probably heard by now, we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all of our picks, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week. If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code THEATHLETIC, and you'll get a one-year subscription to The Athletic, plus up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Here's how it works.

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As we progress through the season, every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept. But you know what isn't hard to accept? Discover. Believe it or not, Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. You heard that right, 99%. So make a good call for your wallet and get Discover. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card.

Roll ball or Lonzo ball for buzz balls. Ready to go cocktails. Take 12. Buzz balls just dropped their biggest blue balls. Script says Biggie's blue balls, Lonzo. Take 13. Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls. Let's try a vocal exercise. Buzz balls, Biggie's blue balls. Buzz balls, Biggie's blue balls. Big balls just dropped. Get blue balls this season now.

With BuzzBall. Please treat responsibly. BuzzBall is available in spirit, wine, and malt. 15% alcohol by volume. BuzzBall's LLC, Carrollton, Texas. It is time for what we've all been waiting for. I can finally eat that pizza. It is time to find out which pizza topping is the best. Thanks to our friends at Tabasco. Let's go. It's their very own pizza topping bracket. Okay.

We have 16 total toppings. Here is the bracket. You thought I was kidding. I wasn't. We're gonna talk through each matchup and we're gonna decide who advances. So, let's start with the thin crust region. Okay? It's the number one seeded pepperoni versus the number eight seed anchovies. Is this an easy pep win, Tass, or are you team fish?

Why do you gotta put it like that, man? Hey, you're like fish on pizza, you weirdo. Oh, I want to be different and say fish, but let's just be obvious and go with it. Okay. It's Pep. I'm a Pep man. Call me young Pep Dash. There are times, I think, when maybe an 8 seed could pull an upset here. We've seen a 16 seed beat a 1 seed. It ain't this one. Okay. Pepperoni? Pepperoni?

That's obvious. We know that's advancing. Okay, in the next round here. Ooh, battle of the meats. Meat lovers, stand up. We got the four-seated bacon versus the fifth-seated ground beef. State your case. Bacon. Bacon. Bacon. What kind of bacon are we talking? What kind of bacon are we talking? Is it just...

You know, because they come out of a plastic container that you just throw on? That type of bacon? Or... No, okay, fine. It's real bacon. Then it wins. Ground beef is just one of those overrated toppings. I think ground beef looks gross on a pizza. I'm sorry, I think it does. But I'm team bacon.

Well, I don't understand why men's chest hair gets called ground beef. But that makes it even more disgusting. But as a beef boy here, I'll take up a little for ground beef. That's a Steve Kirby specialty. My dad used to love to order what he called a cheeseburger pizza. Right. And it's just ground beef. Yeah. And it was not my favorite, but it was like a nice curveball at least. So...

I'll happily be out voting. Okay, but bacon seems like... Bacon is advancing. That's a lot of ground beef. Here we go. This is a great matchup. I think this is the matchup that everybody had their eyes on heading into this bracket. We have the Green Peppers as the third seed versus number six seeded Pineapple. Now, very polarizing, I'd say. Quite polarizing, yeah. Team Pineapple on a pizza? Okay.

- Against pineapple on a pizza. - Yeah, see? - Polarized pretty 50/50. - What would you rather, team pineapple or team boring green peppers? Oh my goodness. - So you don't like-- - Oh yeah, they don't do much for me at all. It's just such a putrid vegetable. I don't, no, it's not for me. - Okay, well what about this, what about this? You put a green pepper on a pizza to make it feel like you're eating a little healthier. - Yeah, it's like a salad. - Right?

It's a pop of color. A little crispness. It tastes obviously a little more healthy. I'm team green peppers. And I like pineapple, but I'm going green peppers. I often will get a green pepper in a salad and I'll get disgusted. Give me something else. All right, Trey. Green peppers or pineapple? And pick wisely here.

I like green peppers. I like green peppers going too. I'll be honest with you. One of my New Year's resolutions this year was to give more respect to green peppers.

- Thank you. - 'Cause I'm with you, Tass. In my mind, I think of them as a putrid vegetable. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - I'm with it. - But they're just simple peppers. - Yeah. - We're just normal men. - We're just normal peppers. It's one of the three most common. - Yeah. - I grew up in a household where-- - So respect to green peppers. - I grew up in a household where there were always fresh green and red peppers cut and put in a little bowl of water, and you just go by, drive by, drive by a snack.

- You know why you mentioned red peppers at the same time? 'Cause it's way better. - Yeah, yeah, they're great. - Green peppers in another version, stellar. - Okay. - Shove some rice and beef in it. - All right, we're making people hungry here. All right, two seven match up. Mushrooms versus artichokes. Mushrooms, mushrooms. What is an artichoke? - A little green plant? - Comes from the ground?

Comes from a bush? A thistle? Comes from a thistle. What? I honestly don't know. Tass, what do you think? You go down to the artichoke thistle, you just pop them right off, roast them, throw them on a pizza. Okay, hold on. When I'm grabbing an artichoke, am I grabbing above my head or below my waist? Nobody knows! This is amazing! Thistle is loud.

No one knows. Nobody knows. This is incredible. So nobody's picking this. We don't even know what it is. No one has seen an artichoke in the wild, ever. Okay, mushrooms? We gotta go mushrooms. Okay, we're going mushrooms. Mushrooms it is. All right, mushrooms. Okay, let's keep it going to the thick crust region. We're back to meat as a number one seed. It's sausage versus sun-dried tomatoes.

The meats, just a power conference. Yeah, the big meats. That's what they're called. Yeah, one of the brown bloods. That's not a laugh, man. That was brutal. I've got sausage going through. Sun-dried tomatoes are having a renaissance, though. Not since the 90s have they been this celebrated. Yeah, I like them. They look good. All right, Tass, listen up. This one's for you, man.

Green olives versus black olives in the four-five matchup. It's an easy green olive win. It's an easy green olive win. I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen on pizzas where black olives get put on the pizza. You know where they come from? They come from a can. They're so bland. They're not a Kalamata olive. No, no, no, no. They're this lousy olive that nobody wants. Greens have so much more flavor.

It's full of salt! Like we want. It's way better. It's just way better. We have to go with the expert here. He would know. Yes, I've picked them both. Tabasco are the pepper experts. Yep. Tass is the olive expert. Absolutely, yes, yes. Green olives going through! Okay? Alright, green olives going through. No, I can't throw any. If you say so. If you say so. I'm in control here. We have a 3-6 matchup. Extra cheese versus onions.

I can't tell you how much fun I'm having right now. Wow. Wow, this one's torn. This one's split. This one I thought would be a good matchup. Riddle me this, Skeets. Is extra cheese really a topping? No. No, it's not. Just part of the game. Because... We needed to fill up the bracket? What happened? Oh!

It was an automatic invite. Technically, when you're making a pizza, is it another option, another topping? Yes, of course it is. I'm with you. I don't consider it really a topping. There should always be enough cheese as is. You don't need extra is what you're saying. Yeah, and I think you can have too much cheese on a pizza. Yeah, if you go to Fellini's. You said it, not me. No offense. So I'm team onions. It's a cheesy thing. Onions? Onions? Onions, sure. Is this our first upset? Yeah.

Woah! 6 over 3? First upset. Onions going through. Okay, we got red pepper flakes versus Tabasco sauce. I mean... You're gonna try it? He's gonna try it! Okay. Is there pizza in that box? Yeah, there is. Oh, mushrooms. Extra cheese. I can't eat these. I ate both pizzas. Alright, what else we got? No, mushrooms won. Alright, this is a sausage. Okay, here we go.

So the crowd, as Trey gets ready here to uh, to sauce it up. What, I should be gentler with the pizza? Come on people! Make sure you hold that bottle deep, dude. Oh yeah! Alright, alright, alright, alright. Tabasco wins. Oh! Tabasco is going through! Another upset! Taking down red pepper flakes. He likes it. Salsas is good too. And that's, that's the move, is it? Bite.

Sauce it up. Bite, sauce it up. Sauce it by the bite? Yeah. Yep. Okay. That's what I think. All right. So let's see the bracket. Okay, here it is. You thought we were done. Oh, no. We're moving on. Here's the eight pizza toppings advancing. The competition only gets tougher. The flavors only get tastier. The drama or dramatic. Yep. Okay. All right. Pepperoni versus bacon. This is a heck of a matchup.

- Whoa, the people are thinking, an upset? An upset Bruin? - This is one four. I think this is the type of game, it's maybe like a buzzer beater type game. Like this is a great game. I'm team pepperoni. - Pepperoni. - Wow, people are saying, we're all pepperoni. - No, no, you're overthinking it. - I think Bacon has advanced. Bacon has changed, it's gonna take over pepperoni.

Yeah. Your bacon? Yeah, it's taken over. It's taken over. You, my man, are the deciding factor. When I order a pizza, I order double pepperoni. Also, yeah, yeah. And right now, just visualize. Everybody close your eyes and visualize a slice of pizza. And tell me to my face that there wasn't pepperoni on it. That's a great point. There was.

it's going through i see one in my eyes no pepperoni on that thing you visualize this one okay mushrooms versus green peppers if this was an ncaa game it would have good value no one wants to go to this game you would pay 500 make your pick okay so look i told you i was trying to respect green onions a lot this year and peppers

Yeah, I guess I was already locked in on green onions. But green peppers, they're new to me, getting on board with them. And I started this program because previously I had to give more respect to olives, and it worked. And prior to that, I had to give more respect to mushrooms, and it worked. So as the OG vegetable I don't like on pizza and now like, I'm putting mushrooms through.

Just like joy and wonder in this pizza jungle We are over to sausage versus green olives Wow

Yeah, I think I am not an olive guy. So somebody like yelled out even when we did the four or five green olives versus black olives. Neither. Cancel the game. Cancel the game. It sounds like heaven on pizza for me.

Both. The combination of both. Yes. Would you go sausage, though, even though you love a good olive? I think the best part of a sausage on a pizza is the seasoning in the sausage. Okay. Yeah. It's part of the flavor. It ain't the sausage. Fennel, maybe. Yeah, the fennel. It's the fennel. Absolutely. Sausage going through. Sausage, yeah, sure. Sausage going through. Final one in the thick crust region in our final eight here. Onions versus Tabasco sauce. Onions versus Tabasco sauce.

Hey, we are going to have a Cinderella run here from somebody. So that's nice. It's Tabasco. Tabasco. Alright, Tabasco's through. We're almost there, people. We're almost there. Let's see it, JD. Here we go. We got two number one seeds. We got the number two seeded mushrooms and we have the Cinderella, the number seven seeded Tabasco sauce. So let's do it. Pepperoni versus mushrooms.

Wow. Atlanta's tour. I love how close this is. I'm team pepperoni, I'm sorry. I can't believe mushrooms went this far. Yeah. I can't disagree with you. Yeah, you don't have to overthink it sometimes. That's right, man. It's a one team for a reason. Exactly. Close your eyes, visualize. This is strength of schedule. That's right. The expectations coming in.

They've got that new cup style that's really cool. Yeah, yeah. All right, pepperoni through to the championship game. And then we have sausage versus Tabasco sauce. All right. Okay, trying it without the Tabasco sauce. Good. Good pizza. Fennel. So that was sausage too. That was just sausage. Okay, now. It's Tabasco. Oh, wow. It's Tabasco. Yeah!

Look when it's good. It's good our championship final is set here. We go one seven matchup We have that powerhouse pepperoni versus the Cinderella Tabasco I just think Trey okay is Tabasco sauce is it becoming a pizza hack you know what I mean like it works everywhere Well, there's only one way to find out

I could keep pulling them, man. I could have done it for mushrooms. But shall we? Good pep. That's a good pep. Okay. Okay. Come here. Come here. Come here. You don't care, do you? That was just pepperoni. That's just pepperoni. That's a pretty good pizza. You guys are really exciting. Look at that dangler. Grease dripping. Here we go. Slightly greasy pizza. Yeah. Yeah. In a good way. In a good way. You're making the right choice. Holy...

No, I'm dead serious. That's good, man. Can I get in on that? I want to just eat this pizza slice really tenderly. It's just pure silence. I'm sorry. It's Tabasco. It's Tabasco. It's Tabasco. What? The crowd is popping. That was worth it. That was worth it. I think. I had a blast. Hopefully you did as well. It is pizza party time. We are going to ask everybody to head on out in a second. I do want to thank the Seven Stages Theatre for having us. Give it up for them. Woo!

Huge thanks to The Athletic and all their support and as well, big applause for the championship winners of the pizza bracket, Tabasco Sauce for making this a reality. We really appreciate it. I guess before we go, we could all do the Clipper Bros sign off together.

Okay, so we'll do it in three two one You heard it here first. Have a great time. Turn up. Love you guys. Awesome. Yes. Yes. Thanks for joining us and remember Tabasco is better than any pizza dip you'll find. Pizza dip just smothers a pizza. Tabasco cares so well. Embrace the night people.

As we progress through the season, every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept. But you know what isn't hard to accept? Discover. Believe it or not, Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. You heard that right, 99%. So make a good call for your wallet and get Discover. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card.

This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures. Today's the day. From Universal Pictures and Blumhouse come a storm of terror from the director of The Shallows, the woman in the yard. Don't let in. Where does she come from? What does she want? When will she leave? The woman in the yard in theaters today.