Craig Ferguson: Pirate Suit
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It's hot fun in the summertime. Today, the brilliant Craig Ferguson is stopping by. He's the old Scottish Craig Ferguson. That's the worst Scottish accent anyone's ever done. I hope he doesn't listen to this. Craig, I apologize in advance. Anyway, let's get started with the wonderfully funny and diversely talented Craig Ferguson.

Hey, baby cakes. How are you doing? It's been many, many years since you and I have spoken. I think probably about 15. Jesus. You look exactly the same, which I'm kind of horrified by.

You're so nice to say that, though. It's kind of true. I mean, you're famously, you know, kind of something weird, black magic going on with you. And... Yeah, yeah. What do you do? Do you like fast or tan? Or what? Or fast tan? What do you do? There's a couple of things. One is, you know, I don't drink any alcohol. You and I are in the same club. I have 33 years here.

Yeah, I'm way behind you. You got some serious, you're in double digits if I do remember. I'm 32 in February, 31 right now. I mean, you're just way behind me. We're the old men of recovery. Look at us. You know when you kind of start kind of,

You're thinking of yourself as an old timer. People say, well, you're an old timer. What's it like? Don't call me old timer. When people call me an old timer, I feel like I'm a prospector, like I have arrows in my hat. Yeah. We're an old timer. If you look out for the quicksand over yonder. Do you still think about alcohol? I don't really think about it that much anymore. I guess I could get to thinking about it. Here's what I think about alcohol now.

I mean, obviously when I first got sober, I literally, I can remember vividly going, well, like I love baseball and I love going to Dodger stadium. And I remember, well, I won't be going to Dodger stadium anymore because what is the point of going to Dodger stadium if I can't have a beer? Literally that was my logic. Yeah. I had a lot of that. I mean, no Dodger stadium, but everything else. What's the point? And, and, um,

You know, well, you know, what am I going to do when I have a kid? I'm not going to have like a scotch with the boys. I did all those things sober and it was it was it was great. So and then about a year, I'd say it was about by two years in, maybe a little less. I never thought about it again. But I will tell you what is occupying a lot of my thinking is this.

wine culture thing. Wine culture? Yeah, because I don't know what it's like in Scotland because you guys have scotch and you have, but wine culture has taken over everything. And when I was drinking, people had wine, whatever, but it wasn't a thing. It wasn't like it is now. I mean, people, it's just consumes everything.

the time at the restaurants, the this and the that and the wine tasting and the wine tourism and the, all of it. And, and God bless. I think it's my addict who gets irritated by it, but I'm a little irritated by it. I, I'm not so irritated by wine. Cause I just like, you know, I don't have to be near it. I'm not in Scotland right now. I'm in New York city and I live in New York city a lot of the time. Um,

It's not wine culture here. It's marijuana culture. It's weed culture. Oh, oh, don't even get me started on that. And the whole thing, it really bothers me is like, if you walk down the street with a beer,

Like you get a rest, you get a ticket, right? Walk down the street with a beer, you get a ticket. Now, if somebody's walking down the street with a beer, I don't have to smell their beer. I mean, they can have a beer and then walk down the street and I can see it, but it's not creating a cloud of beer fumes all over the place. Like I have to participate in their beer. But when you walk, particularly if you walk around Midtown, which is trying not to do, but if you walk around Midtown in Manhattan,

It's like you can't. It's everywhere. I don't understand. You either let people walk around with beer and wine or don't let them walk around smoking blunts. That's how I feel about it. It's unfair. It's gone too far the other way. Good old fashioned street drunks are getting a hard time.

I'm with you. But then again, I was never a pot guy ever. Even when I was, it was not my thing. I never got it. I never understood it. Maybe with the designer stuff that's out there now, I would, maybe I would have liked it better because I would get soap. I was once on Willie Nelson's tour bus.

Wow. Then you are a pot guy by osmosis just by being on Willie Nelson's tour bus. I mean, if you're not, I mean, if you're going to be on Willie Nelson's tour bus, you better be smoking some of his pot, right? I would have thought. But I knew enough, I knew enough to know about myself that it's not my thing, but I didn't want to look like a nerd. So when it came to me, it was like this, by that time it was like a just tiny little roach or whatever. And I'm, and I fake puffed it. Yeah. I was so high and paranoid.

that I did not get off that bus for like four and a half hours. Yeah. So hot and paranoid, really paranoid. Yeah. I didn't get it. I, we've made me psychotic. I, I mean, it's like, I, I feel like it's not, you know,

Like I did drugs like cocaine and alcohol. Really, really, alcohol was my thing. I did cocaine was a vitamin that helped you drink more. That's the way I looked at it. It wasn't really a drug. It was just a kind of supplement. Yes, of course. Yes, 100%. But weed was the one that I was like, I mean, I took everything. But the one that made me most uncomfortable was weed. Without a doubt. Yes, without a doubt. I think it must be the way...

It's like people say, are you a Beatles or a Stones guy? You know, you're like, well, are you a Coke or are you a weed guy? I think, I think, I don't know. I think I'm more the damn or the Sex Pistols guy. I can't, I can't even, I can't participate in a lot of things. I find myself more and more and more. I find myself like, I don't want to do social media. I don't want to do this.

I kind of like I'm getting crankier and crankier as I go. But is that something we have to fight or is it or is that hard fought knowledge? I think it's I think it depends on the mood of the time. I mean, I think you have to fight or I feel I have to fight the idea of condemning young people for having different ideas that I had when I was young because that's such a common trap. You know,

that people in the 60s who were like came of age in the 60s used to say to us oh peace and love all the time and it became so irritating that you know the catchphrase of of punk rock became hate and war which was not nobody really wanted hate and war they just didn't want people to say peace and love to them all the time you have to rebel against what comes before i i

I feel that, particularly comedians, I watch them now and they're like, no, you can't say things. And you go, yes, you can. Yes, you can say things. But they'll know you're not young if you say those things. That's right. And you can say anything you like, but there's a price to pay. And I think that

I think with comedians, they get cranky about young people. And I remember that when I was a young comedian, there would be older comedians. They just, they ain't funny. They ain't funny. But they are. They're just different funny. They're funny for young people. Comedy is a young man's game, though. I think it's... For young men, it is. I mean, look, if you're a young man and you're doing comedy and it's appealing to other young men, that's good.

Or that's what it is. You can do comedy when you're older, but you have to change. Like when I was young...

and doing stand-up, I was like, "I'm so angry about things and I hate all this and everything." I have a pretty nice car and I have a bit of a tummy and I'm sleepy. I'm not angry. I can't pretend I'm not angry. I'm a bit sleepy, but things are still funny. There's just different things are funny. As my body falls apart or

you know, or my mind wanders into dotage. I find that kind of funny. I think it'd be funny at any age, but to try and stay the funny you were when you were a kid, I think that's kind of weird. I think that's, that's kind of, that's kind of like dressing up in,

Like, do you remember the thing you used to see guys in L.A. wearing skinny jeans and trilbies and they were like 60? Oh, for sure. Oh, man. I don't want to do that. No, but I think the sweet spot is where it's at because you also don't want to. I think I've told this story before on the show, but I once asked Clint Eastwood how he continues to be so prolific and just such a machine.

And, you know, I think Clint's 90 now or something. And he said, Rob, I never let the old man in. Is there an old man following him around? Because I wouldn't let him in either. That'd be creepy. My version of letting the old man in is that moment. We all say, it's been a long day.

You come home, you think about working out or you could turn on the TV. Yeah. Or, or, or, you know, you're about around a bunch of young kids and they go, let's go to the beach. You want to go to the beach? I don't know if I want to, you know, that's when the old man is going, yeah, you can stay here. They can go, you can stay here. It's like, that's, I, I, I'm a firm believer in, in, in,

knowing when the old man is asking you to do something and saying no. Yeah, I see. I kind of, look, I respect and admire you, Rob, but I completely disagree with you. So when the old man says, yeah, you can stay here and have a snack. I like, you're right, grandpa, let's stay here and have a snack. And then the young people go and do the thing. I kind of love the agent process in an odd way. It's kind of,

it's so weird to get older. Like I'm 61 years old now. And I think about like, wow, that's weird. It's weird. It is. It's weird. Yeah. But if you, have you ever listened to Holst's The Planet Suite? Do you ever listen to classical music? No, not a ton. No, I don't really either. But, but, but The Planet Suite by Holst, like he takes every planet in the solar system and he does a little thing about it. And

He does Saturn, the bringer of old age is the Saturn is the god of the bringer of old age, a harboring of old age. And that piece of music is so weird and ethereal. And it kind of like, it's almost like a classical music version of like that.

And I got one of the tattoos I have, you can see I have Saturn right there on my wrist. Now, usually I wear a watch there, but if I don't wear my watch and I go to look at my wrist, I go, oh, it's Saturn. I find that deeply unsettling. Yeah, yeah, it is deeply unsettling, but that's fun as well. I think unsettling is okay as long as you're not, you know, socially not going to get drunk. I think it's pretty much all right.

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Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select US airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. You have great tattoos. I don't, well, because when you were doing the talk show here, you were always in a suit, I think. So I don't think I ever really saw your ink. It's good ink. Yeah, I'm very picky about it. I don't, you know, I don't go to like the mall and get a tattoo. I think about it for a while and they matter to me. I'm kind of,

Very conscious of what I put on me. Not that you can't get a good tattoo at the mall. You can, but I don't know. I don't even know if people go to the mall anymore. But I'm very, very picky and I find good artists and I let them do it. Do you have any tattoos? You don't have any tattoos? I do. Here, look at this. Okay. So I'm going to reveal it in a minute, but I want to set it up by, this was my, I got it.

Six months sober. Okay. And it was my, I'm still wild, man. I'm still a badass.

And so that was it. I was going to get a tattoo. So it looks like I've been a longshoreman or been in the merchant marines because it's so disgusting and old. And now I'm hearing that old, faded, decrepit tattoos are a thing in the tattoo world now. And it's like, yes, that's what some of my best friends with really good ink are like, no, no, no, bro, you don't want to touch that.

I'm like, really? Yeah, let it fade. Look, it looks like nothing. Look, it literally looks like Popeye the Sith. I look like a merchant marine. No, that's good. That's sexy. I mean, you can't tell what it is anymore, though. It doesn't matter. It was a koi fish. It was like a traditional Japanese, you know. Why did you get a koi fish? Well, this is actually a cover-up.

A big substantial cover up of a little tattoo I got on a blackout in Australia. See, that's the one you should have kept. I know. Because that's great. I mean, look, I never got any tattoos when I was drinking. I had one. I was doing a press tour. Don't remember any of it. Somewhere on YouTube. There's got to be all kinds of interviews I gave in 1990 in Australia. Yeah.

No, no, 1989. Yeah, it would have been 1989. And I had just become buddies with Michael Hutchence of NXS. So you can imagine me and Michael Hutchence.

In the 80s. And it's everything you thought it would be. Yeah. And I had a... All I remember is the tattoo. And then, of course, I covered it up because it was too small. It didn't have the guts to go full bore. I was like, I'll give you the tattoo. And then it was like, I'd reveal it and people like, that looks like, you know, this is something a girl would have on their ankle. So, wait. You didn't really tell me what it was, though. What was it? Oh, the original one? It was a...

Yeah. With a, I believe the Chinese character for like courage or something like that. Courageous heart or something like that. Right. Yeah. You know, maybe the koi fish is better. I don't know. But maybe there's time to get, you know, get more, get one on the other side to balance it.

You don't have any color, do you? No, no, no, no. Okay, walk me through that aesthetic. I just, I don't want that. I don't know why. It's just, oh, I always think tattoos should be black ink. Is that from all your time in prison? Yeah. I just, I like the look of it. I like the look of it. I mean, I also think, you know, I have very pale skin.

So I think if you put colors on top of it, you kind of look, I don't know. I'm with you. I kind of have gone that way as well. And I'm like, I mean, am I making a mistake? Is it like, remember when everybody was getting those, the trend was that kind of almost Samoan art? Yeah, I know the type you mean. It was all that. Yeah, I never got any of that. It's not my thing. You know what I mean? It's like I, it's not like I,

mind anyone else getting it, but I kind of understand crows and snakes and sea horses and, you know, lily of the valley. There's a reason why I have these things. I don't, I'm not Samoan, so I don't have, you know, any kind of point of reference for it. Do you know what I mean? It's like, so

But some people, like I've got a friend, a really good friend of mine, who he'll just go for a tattoo because it's Saturday. You know, he's like, I feel like getting a tattoo. He's got ink fever. Got bad ink fever. He's got the fever. He's got the fever and it's bad. He's got it bad. But he's covered in ink. But it somehow kind of works for him. He's like, he's six foot six and from the Czech Republic. He's got a big beard and hair. It all works out, you know.

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is I struggle with like, the other thing is, as an actor, you're always covering it up for parts, you know, for when you're doing a role. And that's something to think about. It's like, it's just extra time in the chair, which as I get older, I have less patience for too. Yeah, I don't really see me doing much of that anymore. I acted for a bit though.

You, not only did you act, but you wrote, you wrote movies. Yeah, yeah. You directed them. Yeah. Can I talk about that right now? Because this thing, I don't know if you can though. I mean, I don't know if that's like, no, you can't. Listen, I, listen, I'm, I'm a noted union buster. Kidding, kidding people, people, people. I very, very much, you know, support that, you know, I really think it's kind of,

I'm very mad at the producers right now because of the whole kind of... You have one job as a producer. I produce movies. Here's your job as a producer. Make a deal. That's your job. That's actually kind of the only job. As a producer, it pretty much is the only deal. Make the deal. Make the deal.

Put the team on the field. Right. Make the deal to do it and let them do the thing. Right. So you make a deal. So why in a dispute where these guys want to work, but they're unhappy with certain things and...

these guys, you know, are the producers. Surely a good producer would say, all right, we have, there's got to be a way to do this because that's what a good producer does. It's like, there's got to be a way to do this. Okay. How are we going to do this? How do we make a deal so that everybody walks out here? Nobody gets everything they want, but everybody walks away happy. But there's no, it's, it's not producers. I don't think it's, uh, it's people who are, uh, you know,

care. They don't, I don't think they even care about making movies or TV shows or shit anymore. They don't even care about it. It's a straight up bottom line. It's like Wall Street or something. Well, you definitely obviously have people who come in, who run companies where, where big companies where the entertainment part of it is infinitesimal in the bottom line. Yeah. Right. So, um,

You know, I was lucky enough to be to just be coming into the business when the studios were owned by themselves. Paramount owned Paramount. Yeah. Warner Brothers owned Warner Brothers like they were they weren't in the, you know, the the telephone pole. Right. Or they weren't in the phone business. They were in the movie business. Those days are over.

And, you know, it's like it is what it is. But I think one of the byproducts is definitely there's there just isn't the kind of I mean, there just isn't if you're if you're if your business is jet jet engines and you own NBC, how passionate are you really about?

Parks and Recreation. Yeah. Or 30 Rock or whatever. I mean, really, at the end of the day. And then here's the other thing is, and I don't know if this has been your experience. This is the thing when people are very much trying to figure out how long the strike will end. And I was like, well, why should it be any different than any negotiation I've been a part of ever? And particularly in the last five years where it is, everybody knows there's going to be a deal. Everybody knows it can't go on forever.

But we're not going to make a deal right now. We're going to wait and wait and drag it out and wait and wait and wait and wait and make threats and stomp our feet and make ultimatums. And finally, when enough pain has been inflicted around both sides, we'll make the deal we could have made in the third day. That's how the deals are done.

Sounds like a lot of deals I've been part of. That's true. But it kind of, I don't know, this one feels a little different. I mean, I've been through a couple of, no, not a couple of, the only one I've been through actually was 2007, 2008, the writer's strike. Yeah.

This one feels a little like a seismic change, like, you know, like sound came in the movies or, you know, DVDs or VHS or something. Like there's a change here. And so you've got to write a new rule book. And I think that's a... When there's a technology change in any industry, it can be really turbulent. And for me, it's like trying... I agree with you 100%. But I think...

Actually, this is just a microcosm of everything. I think that AI is going to make the industrial revolution look like a footnote in history. And you can either be the Luddites or you can figure out a way to integrate because the genie is not going back in the bottle. So my hope is that people are being smart about it, not just going, we can't have it. Well, you're going to have it.

You can have it. It just is. So how are we going to have it?

I think my natural inclination is to, whenever everyone is saying one thing, I kind of like to try and think, is there an alternate? And so I think my stance will be, I'm for AI because, why not? We've been doing such a great job as humans. Let's take the hand over to the TV and see if it can do any better. I don't know. I...

Of course, technology is unstoppable. And, you know, the genie is out of the bottle. I don't know what happens now. To me, it's like... Yeah, go ahead. No, I was just going to say, so let's say they say, you know, you're working at a network and you're like, write me a new hospital franchise like Grey's Anatomy, but with the voice of the West Wing.

A&I will do that. I mean, not A&I. A&I will do that. So to me, then, you got to pay Grey's Anatomy and you got to pay Aaron Sorkin, who wrote The West Wing. And we're all good. Yeah. Why is it any different than sampling? Well, it's not. It's the same, I guess. Right. But I think it's also about the delivery of it as well. I don't know. I feel like I'm wandering into the area. I really have no kind of...

But I just, I'm kind of, I feel like, you know, people work. They should get paid for it. That's kind of wrong not to pay people. And I feel like it's very unfair right now. It's really not nice. I'll tell you what's really, what's my biggest issue with it is the...

The people in the industry who live project to project, paycheck to paycheck, you know, the people who work on, I shoot two TV shows, Unstable on Netflix and 911 Lone Star on Fox. And, you know, there's two crews and there's wardrobers and costumers and makeup artists and electrics and grips and caterers and transportation people and location. And then it just, those people get decimated. Yeah.

right away. And that's the part that

that I think people aren't aware of when they think of actors and writers on strike is, is, you know, we have it easy compared to those folks. There's an odd perception about Hollywood that I think that particularly Hollywood that, or the film business or the TV business, it's the elites. You go, yeah, well, there are elites, but, but there's a lot of people who just, that's their job. You know, I mean, it's just, it's a job. It's a, it's a kind of blue,

It's a middle class job. You know, you try to work and you do your job and you go home. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, it's, I'm definitely starting to see, um, people really, really affect. I, I, I, I hope it's, I feel like we're back at work before Halloween, but I don't think much earlier.

That's my, that's just what it's worth. I know nothing. Slightly off topic, but are we allowed to dress up for Halloween? I'm asking basically for a friend. It depends. It depends on how many working days in the union you've had in the last few years. Well, you're talking to somebody. I am not unashamed to admit I trick or treated until I was 24.

Why don't you get swaged with me when you go to the sofa? 26. It was like one of the reasons why I was like, you know what? Maybe you should stop trick-or-treating. I think that maybe having...

you know, drunk, young, crazy Rob Lowe coming at your home dressed as Dracula. Actually, it doesn't sound that bad. It doesn't, you know, when I think about it, it doesn't sound that bad. It sounds kind of fun. Come on, it's great. What did you trick-or-treat as? What did you dress up as? The last time I trick-or-treated...

Um, under the, it was a, I, I concocted a ruse of taking my, my friend's young son trick-or-treating. Really, I just wanted to trick-or-treat. Right. And I, I dressed up as, um, a quarterback from the San Diego Chargers. Okay. All right. That's pretty good. It's not bad. Yeah. Were you in San Diego?

I was in Los Angeles, but, you know, I figured out a way to be in costume, but also show my face. See? So you're dressed up in a kind of sexy costume and you get to show your face. That's not really trick or treat, is it? That's just kind of like cosplaying or something. I think it's cosplaying and being very hopeful about who might answer the door. Yeah.

That's great. Yeah, my go-to is always Pirate. Pirate is the way to go. Yeah, for sure. Pirate, you can't go wrong. But I mean, Johnny Depp has cornered the market on it. Now you can't. He's done all you can do with it. That's a very particular type of Pirate. I like to go for more poofy trousers, Elizabethan Pirate with tights on.

Ooh, tights. Yeah, tights. Yeah. That's a little revealing. You got to be careful. Well, not if you've got the poofy trousers over the tights. You wear the poofy trousers. They're like poofy shorts. They're like marshmallow shorts and then tights and then, you know, a pointed boot with maybe a bell at the end of it.

the bell, your, your, your knowledge, your it's, I think it's, I'm kind of getting a fetish hit off of you right now. Yeah, I guess. Um, maybe it is. I, I, I,

I'll be honest with you, I've never dressed up like that, but I'm gonna, probably before the end of the day. I don't believe one word of what you just told me. I think you've dressed up many, many, many nights like that. I don't know if I, I've never really been in it. Like when people do cosplay and stuff, they're like, that's like working without getting paid. I don't know if I would want to do that. I don't get it. Although I would like to be a mascot.

With the big heads at a sports thing. Like, I think it might be fun to be a mascot for a while. Well, you've got some pull in the industry. I think you could probably put that together. Talk to your agent. I'm sure you could get it done, you know? I mean, I don't know if it'd be big leagues like the Chargers, but it might be something. No, I think I might be able to pull off at least for one or two games. The Rams, the LA Rams, one of my favorite teams. They have a...

Rampage is his name. He's a ram. He's got a ram head. He's a ram? Rampage. Does he like ram into people and stuff? Is that what he does? He, well, see, well, that's what I would bring to it. I think I would bring a whole other level of, well,

Well, that's what it is. Insanity. I mean, if you're around, what else are you going to do? I mean, does he talk about random access memory? Does he walk around with a, like a... Like one of those Daft Punk people? That's what he's saying about Daft Punk and Sample and stuff. Yeah. I mean, I think it will be fun. Are you very sporty? Do you go to a lot of sporting events? Yeah, I do. I love it. I love, I mean, baseball is my number one thing. Yeah.

Football, you used to have season seats for Lakers. I love the Lakers in basketball, but for some reason, I've never been able to put my finger on it. I don't watch as much basketball as I used to. Basketball and hockey are the ones that I kind of gravitate toward to a little more because they're so end-to-end and they're high scoring. I think baseball and football...

I think unless you grow up with them, which I clearly didn't, it's a little harder to decipher. Although I will say, I think

Baseball in particular is a real live event. I know people love watching it on TV or listening to it on the radio, but when I first went to a game, I was like, oh, wow, this is a thing. It's a thing. It's a vibe, as the kids would say. Yeah. The first baseball game I ever went to was with Drew Carey. We were in Cleveland. And he took me to... At the time, the team were called the Indians. And obviously, they no longer called that. But they...

We went to see Jacobs Field, it was at the time. The Jake? It was the first game of the season. And they were playing the LA... No, the Angels of Anaheim, LA Angels, whatever the hell they call themselves. Yeah, exactly. And I was in the owner's loge with Drew Carey. Drew Carey in Cleveland is like being at Disneyland with Mickey Mouse. I mean, it's like, you know, you're with the main guy. Oh, you are. And...

We were in the owner's lodge. We were watching the game. It's a beautiful day. There was the American flag and the lake over there giving us canapes and stuff. And I thought, wow, this is a really great day out. So my next...

My second baseball game was to see the Dodgers in Los Angeles. And I got nosebleed tickets right up at the door. I was like, okay, this is a different type of experience. By the way, also a real, real experience. Yeah, it was. For sure. I mean, to me, live events like that, I don't really... I mean, I used to go and watch... I used to have season tickets for the Clippers back when the Clippers...

you know, we're giving them away basically. And the going to stuff live, we were talking about AI stuff. See, I love live music. I love live comedy. I love, if I watch a sport, I kind of like to be at the sport.

And I don't think that's replaceable with, you know, automatons or software. There's no software that's going to play the baseball game for you. There's no software that's going to play the football game or there's no software stand-up comedian that I can figure out. You might get it on TV. Like, you know, make me...

you know, a comedian mashed up with all these other comedians and put it on a screen. But if you go to see somebody live, it's going to be that guy or that woman or, you know, it's going to be who it is. It's going to be that individual. And I kind of, that human experience, I don't know. I don't feel that that's the right. Yeah. Well, live is, live's not going anywhere. Live's coming back. I mean, that's for just, you know,

For just that reason. When you moved to LA and you did the show here, what was your first impression of LA? Coming from where you came from, growing up in Scotland, with your point of view, you must have had a lot to say about that. You know, I think like most people, I don't know. Where are you from originally? Are you from LA? No, I'm from the Midwest. I'm from Ohio. Okay. Yes, I'm...

just below Cleveland. Right, so you could not act as it was accurate. Dayton. Okay. But the first thing that struck me about Los Angeles was I couldn't find where it was.

Like, you get there and you go, all right, well, where's the main drag? Where's the city? Where's the bet? Where's the high line? Yeah, where's the Trafalgar Square, Times Square? Where's the bet where people go to it? And it's like, there's no bet. You know, there's no, like, there's no bet. It's not. And I love Los Angeles.

And I lived there for 23 years and I loved it. But for me, my first impression of America was living in New York City, where I am now. And New York to me always like fit.

New York was the first place I went to outside of my hometown in Scotland. I went to New York when I was 13 with my father before I'd ever even been to London. Same. I went to New York when I was 13 with my father. Right. And when you see that city and it's still, I love it. You know, you walk one block in this city and it's still.

And like you've gone through a gamut of emotions, you've seen a lot of people in a wide range of different kind of high dungeon or friendliness or not friendliness. It's just a very, very intense place. And that was my impression. I thought America was all like New York. When I went to LA, I thought, oh, okay, it's not. And then...

Slowly after that, I actually got to know the Midwest and the rest of America. And I love it out there. I love doing stand-up in America. My favorite thing to do professionally is not record performances on film or whatever we call it now or do television, but is to perform live in a room with a bunch of people you've never met before in a town you've never been to. I love that.

I don't know why. It just feels like an adventure. Same. It's just great. There's nothing like it. There's nothing like the rush hour. And it doesn't pay as well as TV or movies. It doesn't have to. It gives you more. It gives you other stuff. For sure gives you other... And I also think that as a... Any self-respecting actor should not only be able to, but should routinely...

be on stage like that in some capacity? I think it's good for you. I think it's, I mean, I know actors, good actors, just hate it. Oh, yeah. Hate theater. Michael Caine famously said about theater as like all these people shouting, facing the front and shouting what they're doing. He's so funny. That's amazing. Yeah. But he's, you know, he's no slouch as an actor, Michael Caine. So I think that, yeah,

I think there's different ways of going about it. But for me, I like my music loud through a martial stack. And I like my comedy in a room that's dark and full of trouble. I like that. It feels like fun. I think that that is a perfect assessment. I could hang with that. You and I could do a...

a trip through any city in the world with that as our, as our North star. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's, as opposed to, to reference to what you, what you originally asked was about LA is that I couldn't find that in LA for a long time. Um, it's there, there are people doing stuff there obviously, but I just, in New York, it was very obvious where you follow the, follow the kids wearing the, uh,

and you end up in the club, you know? Yeah. It's like, in LA, it seemed like everything was...

It's a little bit, I think British people like LA because it has that kind of status thing. It's kind of like, oh no, you can't get in here. That's amazing. They like to say, oh no, you can't get in. British people love that. Oh no, you can't. Do you ever fly on British Airways? They're like, oh no, you can't. There's another bit that you can't get to. That's amazing. LA, they love that too. Oh no, you, this is not, you can stay here, but you can't go to that bit.

Yeah, they love the velvet rope scenario. Yeah, yeah.

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♪♪♪

You've done stuff on the West End, right? Yeah. Yeah. I love... That's the last place I really did an extended stint. And I loved it. What did you do? I did a revival of A Few Good Men with Aaron Sorkin at the Haymarket. Nice! That's growing up. It was pretty... It was the time of my life. I had a blast. And we did like...

I think when I was done, we did like 180 shows. It was a good long run. Yeah, that's proper. But it was amazing because the British audiences were so, man, the quality of the listening. Yeah. I would just describe it. The quality of the silence is very unlike anywhere in the world. Like the silence in an American theater versus a British are very, very, very different. You can physically hear everything.

the attention being paid in a very different way, I found, in the West End. I think also it's shame-based in the sense that the British people are looking for the first person to make a noise so that they can throw cabbages at them. That's kind of what they're like. Who will make the noise and break the spell and allow us to punish them in the stocks?

That was a good pirate voice, by the way. Is that the voice that you do when you wear the bell shoes? The pointy bell shoes you were talking about. I'm never going to forget. But I think I just went to see a show here. Have you been to see it on Broadway recently? See what website? Which show? Have you been to see anything on Broadway recently? Oh,

the last thing I saw on Broadway, it's been a while. I know. Cause it was Dear Evan Hansen. And that was a long time ago. And Springsteen. And Springsteen. Yeah. I haven't seen, I haven't seen anything since the pandemic. I went to see a show the other night. It was the last night of it. Uh, it was the mischief theater company. It's an English theater company. And they did a show called Peter Pan goes wrong. It's a comedy show. It's a, a farce. Uh,

A mythical, you know, provincial... I've heard about this show. How was it? Hilarious. I mean, it was fantastic. Is there like a lead narrator who comes in and just kind of reads it while everybody else goes crazy? No, no. It was... It's a company show. It's a company. And I'm not familiar with any of the actors, ashamed to say. But the...

But the show itself, I felt like when I was watching it,

I felt like this is what it must have been like to go and see the Marx Brothers on Broadway. You know, with like horse feathers or, you know, like the movies that... Because you can see a little bit of it if you watch the old Marx Brothers movies, you can see them really mucking around a little bit. But you imagine that energy and that life on a stage, you know, when it's like, boom! That's... I mean...

I feel like that's the whole thing for me. It's like the Marx Brothers movies are great. They're great. They're classics. But I bet you it was better live. I just bet you it was better live.

Had to be. Had to be. You're doing a new podcast, Joy, correct? Yeah, I am. I kind of feel like I might be the last person through the door on making podcasts. I feel like podcasts... There's room for everybody. The pool is... The water's fine in the pool. Come on in. Come on in. I don't know that...

You know, I mean, basically all... I'd been asked a couple of times to make podcasts. And I was like, well, I don't know what I would talk about. And they said, nobody cares. You just talk. And I was like, I don't know. That's the way I run it anyway. But I kind of... Oh, this is... Yeah, I like this. It's just people talk. Yeah, exactly. The...

What I wanted to do is try and give myself a bit of a hook, a bit of a kind of framework. Not much, not like, all right, you have to pick your 10 favorite cheeses and we're going to do something like that. But something that would at least steer the conversation towards some kind of ultimate goal. And that's why I wanted to do what's called Joys because I wanted to look at

how different people manufacture it. And because I think, I think the joy is such an essential and individual human coping mechanism. It's really important. And, and, and so I wanted to, in the initial episodes, I've talked to people like people I know, people in show business, people I've worked with, you know what I mean? Artists and entertainers. But in,

Over time, I want to actually talk to people that have very difficult or I would perceive to be difficult lives. How do you cope? How do you manufacture? How do you get joy in your life if you're a homicide detective or a pediatric oncologist or somebody that's dealing with really just awful, difficult situations and yet

They have to survive. And you know they do. And people find their... Famously, homicide detectives have a dark sense of humor in the way they talk around it. And I'm fascinated by that. It's that kind of... I don't know if you... I mean, I can still remember when I was drinking, and I'm sure you can too, that one of the kind of best bits of it was...

in the kitchen the next day when everybody woke up. That kind of like, oh my God, what happened? Really? Oh no. And there was a kind of gallows humor about that that I just, I mean, I miss that more than I miss the drink. You know, I miss it. And I don't really miss that much because if you hang with the kind of people like us, it has that gallows humor all the time. You know what I mean? I hang a lot with ex-drunks and

there is a real kind of dark sense of humor about it. And I kind of love that. And I definitely, and that, that's kind of what I wanted to do with the podcast is try and investigate how people do it. And I've, I've made a bunch of them. I've recorded a bunch of them already. And I, I'm kind of fascinated by it because I tried to mix up people who were very, I think who I know, but who are very different in their outlook. And so I,

I think the first episode we're putting out is Gabriel Iglesias, who's a fantastic, gifted stand-up comedian of a very particular genre. And then I thought, well, all right, if he's up first, the first person I actually talked to was Kathie Lee Gifford, because Kathie Lee Gifford, who is a friend of mine, and I adore her, but her worldview is extremely different

you know what, it's probably the same, but she comes at life from a very different angle. She has a very recognizable and definite faith and she is very upfront about it and it's very much part of her life. And I don't have that. I kind of envy that for her, really. And I'm just fascinated by how it works for people, how they stay connected

at least a little bit happy. You know that kind of, how do you manufacture an attitude of gratitude? I do. 100%. Do you find that there are certain people

that are born with a natural disposition that is sunnier, for lack of a better term, than others. And then other people are more prone to, you know, sort of a darker introspection. You know, I think that, you know, I'm fascinated by the question. I'm not qualified to answer it. I feel like, I think that the people that I know, the people that I am interested in,

seem to be a product of their experience, not just how they arrived in the world. But there are people, there are artists

particularly artists, I think. You know, actually, I think my oldest son, who is an animator, he's just very good at it. And since he was a baby, he's just been fascinated by anime. He knew right away that I love this. This is what I do. I'm fascinated by it. And he just, like all kids, it seems to me most kids love cartoons, but he was...

You know, like, he'd be watching vintage Disney stuff at eight years old, like, five, six, seven times in a row, like, looking at different scenes. And he's just finished studying it. And people like that who have their thing right away, I envy that. I still don't really know what my thing is, you know. But as far as are people more prone to depression or upbeat, I don't know. I think...

You know, I don't know if you're born that way. You're going to find out on the podcast. I mean, that's... Everybody's different. I guess maybe that's the logline of the podcast as well. I mean, people are so different, how they come to it. But everyone tries to find it. I think that in my experience that, and it's the experience we learn in recovery, really, is that within reason, obviously, but like...

happiness is a choice. I mean, obviously there are terrible things that happen to people, but day in and day out for the, for most folks, your one's own attitude can, can be a real leg up to happiness. Right. I don't know. I don't know if it's a choice, but it's,

But it's definitely a tool which, if you can get your hands on it, it can help you. And I think that that's what I feel about. If you can somehow, or if I can somehow, in my darkest moments, if I can somehow, and really the word is, I suppose, gratitude. I mean, look, someone else's problems

Don't take my problems away. But if I look at someone else's problems, I might get a sense of perspective of my problems. And that might be of some use. Of the guests you've had so far, who has had the most sort of harrowing story where they've still managed to find their joy? You know...

There are different versions of, I mean, this is like a real politician's answer, but really, you know, there are different versions. Give me the pirates answer. I'll tell you. I think that if you look at the background of someone like, well, Gabriel Iglesias growing up the way he grew up,

And then Kathy Lee, who her trauma kind of comes a bit later when, you know, the fame and the viciousness of the tabloid culture went after her and stuff like that. It was pretty gnarly for her. And I feel like, I mean, look, I can't speak for these people. That's why I speak to them. I let them speak for themselves. But I'm fascinated that, you know, you can take...

You can take kids to the beach. One kid will run straight into the waves and think it's hilarious. And another kid will run a mile from it and think it's terrifying. Everyone seems to have different perspectives on a lot of different things. So I don't know that there's anyone who I singled out with, that must be awful. I mean, like I talked to Tony Hawk.

about his journey through an emerging sport, an emerging thing, and how he became the icon and the guy in front of it. And that's clearly a trauma that not everybody goes through, but it's still a trauma. It's not like, oh, yeah, I can really identify with that Tony Hawk. I can, but I'm fascinated by the story and I'm fascinated by who he became on the other side of it. It's really interesting.

I would, I, I always wanted to be a good skateboarder and I was horrible. I turned into a pretty good surfer, but the notion of like what that guy does on a skateboard at his age, he's not a spring chicken. I think, I mean, he, he did mention that, you know, recovery from falls is a little more involved than it used to be. I think he's like, uh, um,

But, I mean, that adds to everybody. But he's still, he's in great shape and he's still, you know, he's still got that kind of look about, you know, it's amazing. Yeah, he's got the eye of the tiger. Well, I'm psyched to listen to the podcast. I hope you enjoy it.

And it was great just chilling and catching up with you. Every 15 years, we should just carve out some time, you know, talk a little recovery, talk about our tattoos. Let's not do that. Let's, this Halloween, dress up as Elizabethan pirates or you dress up as a sexy quarterback. And I'll be, you know, a comedy poofy trousers pirate and we'll walk around L.A.

Beverly Hills in particular. I was no dummy. I knew where the good candy was. Okay. We'll see how it goes. Yeah, we'll do it. That was fun. Thanks, brother. That was great. That was lovely talking to you, man. Take it easy. That was fun. I'm going to be tuning into his podcast, which by the way is on the iHeartRadio app and everywhere else the podcast can be found. All right. Just one more thing before we end today's episode. Let's check the lowdown line.

Hello, you've reached literally in our lowdown line where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-4551. So have at it. Here's the beep.

Hi, Rob. My name is Carrie, and I'm from Wisconsin. And I love your podcast. I've literally been listening to it on a loop for the past week and a half while I've been getting ready to move. And my question comes from the episode you did a little while back with Tom Segura, where you mentioned the one-man show,

that you do that on parts that are kind of stand-up comedy-like. And that made me wonder, because you are such a natural storyteller and have, like, real comic timing, is a stand-up special kind of something you ever see on the horizon for yourself? Or alternatively, would your one-man show ever be something that you would, you know, want filmed like for a special? Can't wait to hear your answer. Bye-bye.

Thank you so much. Thanks for helping me, letting me help you move. There's nothing I love more than moving boxes. So hopefully that was helpful. Um, I would love, I would, there's so many good standups and so many good standup specials. I'd be a scared. I think I'd be a scared, but, but I think I have to do it. I mean, I was just, I was just

Talking to Matt Rife, the new comedian who's killing it. And he's like, don't you want to document it? And I hadn't thought of it like that. Like at a certain point, I'm going to retire it or I'm going to change it or I'm going to stop doing it or whatever. And I got to document it. So, okay, now once it's documented and it'll be documented well, because that's how I do things. Don't I want to show it to people? Yes. So the answer is yes. I feel like the right time and place will present itself.

to do it. There's been some talk about it. And yeah, but the show's not going away. You know, it's something I do here and there because I'm so busy with other stuff. I need to get on a roll, do multiple nights, get it really tight and then figure out a way to do it. So at some point I will do it. But at the moment, it's not on the immediate horizon, but stand by. Thank you. Thanks for the call.

Thank you guys for listening. I will be back next week with more fun and games on Literally. I'll see you then. You've been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced by me, Nick Liao, with help from associate producer Sarah Begar, research by Alyssa Grawl, editing by Jerron Ferguson, engineering and mixing by Rich Garcia. Our executive producers are Rob Lowe for Low Profile, Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and myself for Team Coco, and Colin Anderson for Stitcher.

Booking by DeAndre Dodd. Music by Devin Bryant. Special thanks to Hidden City Studios. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally with Rob Lowe.

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