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Working Mom

2021/3/27
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Dani Kind discusses the challenges of balancing work, parenting, and personal life during the pandemic, highlighting the support from her ex-partner and the emotional toll it has taken.

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Well, hello there. Jan Arden Podcast. Here's our new song. No, it's not going to happen today. It's good morning, everyone. Good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are. Jan Arden, Adam Karsh, Caitlin Green is off at this time. But, you know, she'll be joining us from time to time and checking in with us. I am here with not only a dear friend of mine, but a remarkable artist, actress, singer.

mother, sister, writer. There's no end to, are you directing yet, Dani Kind? Or are you going to be, you're going to be soon. You have directed, haven't you? Just a little thing that I did, but I'm working on. No, there are no little things. Dani Kind is our guest today. Hello, Dani Kind. Hi. Dani Kind, I didn't even let you finish your question, but I just wanted to still keep launching into my lengthy intro of one of the stars of Workin' Moms.

Who work in moms is a Catherine Reitman creation, and it has basically circled the globe and caused a kerfuffle. The show is incredible. I've been a fan of it ever since I was in my basement on my treadmill or something. And I caught an episode halfway through and immediately started, you know, launching an excited tirade accolade show.

stream into the internet on Twitter. And that's kind of where we met. So we'll, we'll just, we will definitely cover that off, but Danny, thanks for joining me. I don't know how you do it all. I don't see kids bopping in and behind you today. So I'm assuming they are with, with your other, your other partner, man, who's got them this week. Yeah. Yeah. They're with their dad, which is like such a godsend. I mean, divorce is not the greatest, but the other side of that is like single parenting during a pandemic and

just brings you to your breaking point and then you hand them off to their dad and then you get to recharge for a few days and then you get them back and you, I mean, I get them back and I miss them so much and I'm so happy to see them. So it's good balance. I think. How old are your boys now? Leo's going to be six any minute and Jack's seven. So you, you have been acting and doing all this stuff with small children and you must be asked that all the time.

So doing working moms, you guys are going to be going into season five. No, season six, season five. Season five is airing now. Season five is airing now, but you are doing season six. Hopefully. So ever since these kids were tiny, you have been juggling an unbelievably, I'm going to say hectic, unpredictable shooting schedule and raising children.

Yeah, we started, Jack was one, Leo was two. Oh my Lord. There was a lot of crying on my part. The kids were fine. I cried a lot. Just out of exhaustion. But it's like everything in life. It's like you look back and you're like, how did I do that? Or how did we get through that? Or, you know, it's like that kind of thing. You, I mean, you don't have kids, but you, your schedule. That I know of. It's true. It's true. Yeah.

I've seen a few lookalikes in the city, just like, Oh yeah. Yeah. Um, no, I, I, I just wake up exhausted. Um, you know, I just, Hey, I'm not used to it for the last year. We haven't been doing a lot.

And then you guys did the same thing. You shot during COVID, but I mean, I can't even look after my dog. So, and I know you do have your ex that's been, you know, obviously carrying his half of the bargain and, and sharing the kids, but, but still, I don't even know between, um,

preparing meals, doing activities, the homeschooling stuff that you guys have been doing on top of shooting. But I guess this is the quandary of every working mom. No pun intended there, but getting your skid, your skids. That was Freudian. You know, when you have your skids at home, it is hard. But just trying to educate them now and working and,

And all of that stuff. And honest to God, from where I stand, you make it look so easy. And I know it's not because then you speckle into that, the dating world and a little bit of dating. No, no. How do you, I mean, how do you do that? Yeah. Totally single. And like, how do you do that during COVID? Yeah. So dating would be an impossibility. I'm assuming I don't, I, but people seem to be doing it.

Are you? No, God, no. I, I've been single for five years. I haven't been on a date, but listen, this is completely, I, this is voluntary on my part. I don't, I don't want to date at this point, but you know what? I keep thinking I'm going to hit this place, Danny, Danny kind actress, extraordinary friend, mother. You're so talented, Danny. That I think, I think I might hit the spot where maybe I just go crazy and,

and get out there and, and be like dating to the point where my friends step in and do some kind of intervention, but that hasn't happened yet. Like just like dating everyone, like just dating everyone. But it, but I've never been like that in my entire life. I like meet somebody and then I'm in a relationship for three years. I meet somebody and,

And there's no dating involved at all. I did. You just meet them. And then you're in a relationship for five years, four years, three years. That that's been my history. Yeah. Well, now's the time get out there. No, no, it's not the time. What are you saying? I would like to make you a dating profile. We all know you've already made me a dating profile. I sat with you. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're just joining us, I'm talking with Danny kind. Um, um,

Who plays Anne on Working Moms. You guys can write me your letters and tell me how much you love Anne and that she's your favorite character. Yes, yes, yes. But we sat in a restaurant and we had the most, we had a great meal. We've had lots of nice meals over the years. And you filled me out a dating program on Raya, which is for public people, I'm assuming. It took me six months to be approved and

I don't know, but you filled it out for me. And I don't know what you put down, but when the profile came back and I had my first matchup, do you remember me calling you about this? I don't remember who you matched with. Okay, I lasted one day on there. I deleted the profile. Well, it was Leslie Feist.

Oh, she's a friend. Yes. And I did call her on it. She goes, and we were both laughing, Drew Barrymore, Chelsea Handler. Like this, this all seems like a joke to me. A guy from Spain that was about 26 years old, who apparently is an actor in a Spanish thing. And I'm thinking, how do you date someone in Spain? Like, I don't even know how the algorithms work. And then the sheriff from Spain,

strange stranger things what the sheriff that the cute kind of little bit bigger guy on yeah him go and all these people and then I couldn't delete it fast enough and it wasn't all those people are attractive beautiful people but I got so frightened that I just took it off it's so tell me what dating looks like for you then like what would it look like

I don't know. I just went all in and I was like, I went from nothing to I don't want anyone to ever touch my body ever again to I got on five dating apps and I was like, let's just- You did not. I did. And I got a bunch of my accounts deleted because-

People reported them to the apps and said, these must be fake accounts because this is the woman from Working Moms. Are you kidding me? They're like, okay, sorry. We just saw Danny Kind on Bumble or whatever. Christian Mingle. Find a Farmer is always my favorite. So on Find a Farmer, they're like, this can't be her. Yeah.

I'd like to take her out for a beer, but that can't be the lady from the acting world. Really? I'm about to hit. Yes. Yeah. I got, I got a bunch of counts and people would write me and say, write me on Instagram and say like, Hey, I, I, someone's faking a profile for you on all that, whatever. The, the, the benefits of fame sometimes are not the benefits of fame.

Because people don't trust that you're trying to be an ordinary, you're trying to be an extraordinary person looking for another extraordinary person on a public app. I've always wondered how that went. So did you not try for something like Raya? I can't remember if we talked about it that night. I feel like you did go on there. I did, but it was the same thing. It was like...

Those people in the industries that they're in are living in like New York and LA and Japan, whatever. And it's like how, and there's not like a huge pool of them in Toronto. So I was like, I'm just going to go on regular dating apps, but.

It's not working out great. I don't know how people date right now. I don't know. I don't know how I do it at this age, at this point in my life. And I'm not very social. Do you get set up by friends? Is that part of... And we don't have to talk about this. You can always tell me, Jan, shut up. We're not talking about this. Move on. I talk about everything. I've asked all of my friends. And the answer I always get is like, God, I can't think of one person. I'm like, is this a reflection of me? Am I just...

No, no. Have you been set up by people trying to set you up? Not particularly. I think anyone that knows me well enough knows to not even bring it up because I will probably be volatile and just refuse to feed them the dinner that I've been preparing meticulously in my home and go, don't bring it up again. Rick Mercer tried to...

you know, get me to call somebody once. And I just, as much as it was adorable and cute, I just said, Oh God, no, Rick. He goes, that's what I thought. That's what I, that's what I thought. So, you know, but I just thought I better ask just to say, Hey, when we come back, I'm going to pick your brain about the show, how it's changed your life and things like that.

Because we've got like 30 seconds left in this segment. So I know that I can't ask you that question now. Right, Adam? That would be unfair because then she would have 20 seconds. That's right. We have 30 seconds right now to wrap up this segment. 30 seconds left. What's your favorite ice cream flavor before we go into the next segment? Every everyone. Oh, I love you more and more with everything you say to me.

That is the correct answer. Yes. I love every flavor. Every one. When someday we're going to be in Vancouver together, I'm going to take you to an ice cream place there. And they've got all kinds of stuff. They've got vegan stuff. They've got the weirdest stuff. They've got Tabasco flavors. They've got Worcestershire sauce flavor, fried chicken flavor. Someone's going to write to me and tell me what it is. Anyway, we're going to be right back with the amazing Danny Kind. You're listening to The Jan Arden Show. Your love and ice cream.

Welcome back to the Jan Arden Show. I'm sitting here with such a dear friend of mine and an unbelievably talented actor and writer and mother. You've got the greatest sister too. I love your sister, Sherry. I've had the opportunity to meet her and I love your relationship with her. I'm obsessed with her. Well, you guys are, I think, what sisters in my mind look like because I have two brothers. Yeah.

And they're great. I love my brothers. But, you know, whenever I talk to other women about having sisters, there's such an incredible bond.

Yeah, I think it's a lot of our upbringing too. You know, there was stuff that we went through together and that sort of solidified us as like a united front. And even the past two years being separated, I can see it with my boys. I can see them and going through that, like going through a divorce, their parents getting divorced and then going through a pandemic. It's like they own, they're the constant for each other and they're,

They want to devour each other like all the time. It's really, it was like, please God, let them like each other. And they're, they love each other, which is huge. Do you find that with your girls, Adam? Like you, Adam's got two little girls and that they must be pretty tight. Hey.

Sometimes they're BFFs and other times they're killing each other. Oh yeah. Mine kick the crap out of each other. Yeah. My older brother used to hold me down and either dangle a string of spit, like just inches over my head. I mean, you just do things like that, but he was also the guy on the bus. You know, we took a bus to school, the old yellow school bus. Cause we had a 45 minute drive to a rural school.

he'd be the first guy to intervene. If anyone was bugging me or things were going sideways, he just would be this darkening door kind of guy going, leave my sister alone. But he would be able to like fart on me at home and, you know, punch my arm or, you know, poke that finger in your temple or,

Kind of, but yeah, I, I sisters amaze me. And that's sort of a neat segue into your show because the working moms franchise has been such a Canadian sex success story and a sex story, a Canadian sex story. And watching you guys grow your audience and grow these characters over these past five seasons has been really amazing. I, I,

Had people ask me, like, what do you want me to ask Danny? And they wanted me to ask you how you got, how you got involved with the show or what the audition process was like, or where, where was your humble beginnings with Working Moms?

It went through a couple different casting directors in the city. So the first round I got an audition and I did not do a good job. And then it switched to a new casting agent and then I couldn't get an audition for it. So then I pushed and pushed and pushed and was just like, let me just make a tape and we'll send it in and they'll watch it if it's...

If the work is good, they'll watch it. Yeah. And they ended up watching it, but Catherine was so pregnant. She was about to give birth any minute. So she was here casting, but she just flew back to LA. And then, so I just missed her for the callbacks. So we had to do it over zoom. And I mean, this is pre pandemic. It was like,

This is a pre-pandemic Zoom. The weirdest. I mean it wasn't Zoom, it was Skype. So it was like choppy and weird. It was her and Phil and someone else in a room. Were you reading stuff from this from the first season? Yeah, I think it was the scene where she tells me like, "Come on, dude, just say it." And we get in a bit of a fight and then it comes out that I'm pregnant.

And I say, yeah, I'm thrilled about it or whatever, something like that. We get in a fight. But, you know, I remember I was super stressed. I was so sweaty and she laughed, which I was like, thank God she laughed. And she gave me some notes and redirected me. And then my agent called me like weeks, a couple of weeks after that and told me. And I just screamed. I just screamed and screamed and screamed.

I just couldn't, I couldn't believe, and I never thought we would go this long. Like five seasons is... Well, there's rumor that there's another one coming down the pike. So, I mean, I'm crossing my fingers, but boy, these characters have gone from zero to 300 over this past five seasons, especially. I'm really excited because I'm two episodes behind now in season five.

Because I've been working and I haven't been able to tune in on Tuesdays and do my thing. But how has being in Working Moms, and obviously the Netflix phenomenon, really changed the trajectory of the series? It put you in front of countries from all over the world. You guys were getting accolades from

Other actors, I think there was so many people that weighed in and said, I'm watching Working Moms. It's amazing. How has it changed your life? I know that's a really basic question, but obviously,

you know having that moment of being super excited about the audition getting that audition getting the part and now here we are five years later like what what's what shifted for you uh i mean like uh simple things like uh financially as an actor you're never stable and you when you're building your career i think every actor just gains a whole bunch of debt for years

because you're just trying to like buy headshots and classes and blah, blah, blah. So those first two years I was able to like pay off my debt. And we were like a family of four living in a small apartment. And I'm curious about this with you too, being a musician, the star system in Canada is kind of non-existent. It's non-existent. So my actual life hasn't changed at all, really. Yeah.

But I've been with you and people have come up to you. Like I'm sitting there having my coffee and nobody comes up to me. But no, no, it's very, it's the best. And I just sort of sit back and lean into my bench and sip my coffee. And you'll have like a really excited person going, I love the show and I watch the show. That's got to be a shift for you.

to have that recognition. And even in Canada, it does happen. I'm not saying that we have, you know, Jennifer Aniston here and it's getting better because we do want to mimic that system in the United States. All the award shows, you know,

I remember when they started doing red carpets here at the Junos, they never did it historically for years and years and years. It wasn't part of the Juno narrative like it or the CSAs. It wasn't like if you look back even like 15 years ago, maybe not the last 10, but there was no red carpet.

It was just, you showed up, got out of your truck and went into the, into the thing. And now, you know, this, I remember when they started doing red carpets, I'm thinking, Oh God, no, we have to go down there and stand there and have our pictures taken. And I refused for a long time. I finally Bruce Allen, my manager said, can you just stand there for a picture? Damn it. Yeah. And you kind of just go, okay, I guess this is part of it now. Yeah. Yeah.

I think the biggest difference with the star system is in the States, I think when you get somewhere in your career, they want to nurture it and they want to work with you and like, what else can we make with you and let's collaborate. And in Canada, there's none of that. It's just you work a job and then you're unemployed and you try to audition for another job. That's how it feels anyways. What would you have changed? What would you like to see change within that kind of plot of the

having a successful show, are you talking about like a branding situation sort of like being able to take a Danny kind brand or, or do ads with the bay or, or, or a product endorsement or what, what do you mean more by that? Like Mark,

collaboration, like networks. I feel like networks or production companies pick people up in the States. Like, yes. No. Hey, Seth Rogen, you're amazing. Let's make, what can we make with you? Let's get with a good team and let's see if we can get another movie out of you or something like that. Yes. I don't think there's any of that here. No. And you're, I think that the word that really just smashed into my forehead was collaboration. Yeah.

Yeah.

here's three women that are forced to be reckoned with period. And then they did this record. And along that kind of way of thinking, Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda doing nine to five. These are women from very different worlds. Lily being a comedian, Jane being, you know, this, this actress that is, you know, what do they call a Hanoi Jane? I mean, she was such a, can I say shit disturber?

and Dolly in the music world. And it was such, but is that kind of what you mean? Like getting totally putting people together. Okay. We're going to, we have lots to talk about. You're listening to the Jen Arden show. I'm with the amazing Danny kind, and we will be back to talk to her about what she eats when we come back.

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Welcome back to the Jan Arden Show and podcast. You can find us on Spotify. Spotify is highlighting us the month of March. And you can just hit the subscribe button.

On the Jan Arden podcast. And that way you don't have to search for us. Something will ding on your phone and it won't be your mother-in-law. It'll just be a notification from Spotify saying there's a new podcast ready and Danny Kines on it this week. And I listen to your podcast all the time. Oh, bless you. Thank you. You are getting my checks then for $20. Yay. I love your podcast. I love everything you do. Well, you're fantastic.

Very kind. That's why you're my friend. I love everything you do too. That's what friends are supposed to do. Except incredibly supportive. You know what? I am so grateful. I have a group of friends around me, not a huge giant circle by any means, but the ones that I have, which I consider you,

you know, so dear to my heart and it's harder making friends as you get older. It really is. And we just sort of smashed into each other. And I love the fact that you are, are you 40? You're 40. 41. You're 41. So I'm 50. I'll be 59 in a couple of weeks. And I remember being your age and I still have a friend named Jean Leslie. She's in Vancouver and,

And when I was your age, no, when she was your age, I was 20. So we're the same age apart. And I just, it was the first time that I'd had a friend that was a couple of decades older than me. And I just, it was something that really changed my life and changed how I thought about life. And Jean never treated me like,

I mean, when I was 20, I was so naive, Danny, you should have seen me. I was just fumbling in the dark. I didn't know whether I was coming, going, leave and stay. And I didn't know what I was. I didn't know where I fit in. I didn't know what I was going to do. And Jean was such a steady force. So, and I love having a young women in my life. Not that I have a ton of them, but you lend yourself well to it just because your spirit is so young and you're so like

the way you live, you're a vivacious person and like, and you're rock and roll, like you're, you're all of the things and hilarious and like your scope of knowledge and arts and your curiosity with people is fascinating to me. Thank you. Well, I'm telling you it's now I have a friend, Marianne, wherever you are, Marianne Seeley living in Saskatchewan,

She's just turned 89 and we're talking about going to Vegas on her 90th next year. And Marianne is, has been such a, an anchor in my life, a set of oars in my life. Um,

she's just as clear as a day is long. Like, and since my mom's been gone, having Marianne has been so amazing. I guess my point being that it's so incredible knowing women as you make your way through life, but no matter how old you are, it is hard making new friends. So we kind of met and we never looked back. And you have to sort of give the internet a little bit of a shout out. Hey, Danny.

I mean, if you wouldn't have reached out on... I was losing my mind when you posted about the show, that you were even watching the show. Also, because... And I've talked about this before, but, like, I had been to...

um 500 concerts before you know like throughout your career I've been to so many and I remember in my 20s I had a girlfriend who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with and as you do when you're 20 and of course yeah we did long distance between Ottawa and Montreal and that entire all of those drives I did was you were the soundtrack to those drives well that's where you went wrong

That's where it all went sideways. It was amazing. It was amazing. We have tell, tell everyone a little bit about the photograph that you showed me with the one where you came on stage. That's so embarrassing that I showed you. You, you, we were, we got front row tickets at the NAC when you were performing in Ottawa. How many years ago was this Danny? I think I was in my early twenties. Okay. I had, I,

I just come into this place in my life where I was like openly dating women and very proud about it. And I chopped all my hair off and it was spiky and had bat. It was badly dyed and had horrendous outfit on. And we were so loud in the front row that you came over mid show and said, Oh,

are you guys going to do this the whole show? And we were like, she's talking to us. And then you were like, just come on stage and take a photo with us. And we did. And I still, and then, you know, cut to your tweeting about our show all these years, 20 years later, like it was, it was,

It was very bizarre to have... To be looking at that photograph and for you to tell me that I went to some of your shows when I was like a young woman. And I'm so sorry about my dog. Welcome to working from home, everyone. So let me explain to you what's happened. A ball has gone under a chair. And if I don't get it, we're going to be listening to that stuff. So anyway, yeah, just...

It is so strange how life kind of winds around and people's lives intersect and you don't know it until afterwards. But seeing that photograph of you standing beside me, one of you guys had a mullet. I can't remember who. Probably me. It could have been you, Danny Kind. But it was, it kind of gave me chills.

Because there are lives where, and you've stayed at my house a few times. Like you've hopped on a plane to come out here a few years ago. I got my gallbladder removed, which is so random. I'm like, I don't feel that great. I never in a million years. And Danny got a plane. Like just very shortly after it happened to give me a hand and to come and keep me company and cheer me up. And I was like,

just about to embark on season two of the Jan show. And you just came and we just ate meals and watched movies and

And it was, and you've come out here a couple of times and we've always just been such easy friends. Is that, does that, do you know what I mean by that? Very normal to me to watch you perform and then also to like sit in your living room and talk to you. But I also think that's because you're so honest in your art. Like the way that you, you don't, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a package. It's so a part of you that you,

that becoming friends with you has just felt so not this natural progression and so easy. And well, I could say that right back to you because it is about, you know, people often talk about curating a persona in art or having some kind of mask that you need to put on in order to do your work, whether you're an actor, a sculptor, a painter, a singer, a, a,

A novelist. And you've never struck me that way. And I think that's why I was so open to pursuing a friendship is because you are truly yourself. And you see that with your kids and you see how your kids are getting the best of you. Even when you're in the middle of work, they're getting the best of someone who is flawed, who is selfish.

you know, very able to accept imperfections. This is how it's going to go today, kids. The pancakes didn't effing work out, but you're going to eat them anyway. And you know, that you, that you don't need to present this wonder woman of, I don't do any missteps. I don't, you're not Joan Crawford, let's put it that way, but you are, you're a very authentic and you're not affected by it. I don't, you've never struck me as someone that was

in this doing this work because you want it to be famous that's attractive to me yeah because that is such an empty goal it's a byproduct of good work yeah I think when you're recognized for your work by the public it's really awesome but it's not your goal oh I'm going into acting because I want to be famous that's such a weird thing it is a weird thing but you've become famous

But and I think it comes with responsibility because you have this platform and like, what do you want to say? And like you're doing such an incredible job with poor shit and standing up for politics and expressing yourself in like such an incredible way. It's easy. It's easy to to become apathetic, isn't it? I mean, it's easy to who likes looking at hard things?

I certainly don't. And not being liked by people because you're voicing your opinions on things, you know? Well, I'll tell you what, people are going to be disappointed with us right now because I promised them I was going to talk to them about what you're eating these days. So I guess we'll have to come back and touch on that. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is an in-depth. You think Barbara Walters was bad? Hello, I'm Jan Arden. It was 1978. You weren't born yet, but your mother was wearing a red dress and a white hat.

She was eating a biscotti with a cup of blueberry tea. And she said to you in the womb, do you remember Brian Linehan? He was another guy that did those. Anyways, Adam's giving us the wrap up. We're going to be back and we are going to talk about what Danny Kind eats and how that's fitting into her life and what she feeds her kids. You're listening to the Jan Arden Show and Podcast. We'll be right back. How do you like your eggs in the morning? I like mine with a kiss. Boiled or fried?

I'm satisfied as long as I get my kiss. Welcome back to the Jan Arvin Show. I'm here with the incomparable Danny Kind. And as promised, we're going to talk about food this segment. What are you eating these days? What's your philosophy on it? And what...

How hard is it to get your kids to eat what you think they should be eating? Okay, go. You have 10 minutes. Okay. I'm really not a good cook. It's not my thing. I don't like it. I started ordering the good food box. It comes, it's like, it's all chopped up and then you just like put it together that I can do. Um,

But, and I love food. I love eating, but I'm not good at it. I'm a stress baker, like a very, my friends know if I'm cooking, if I'm baking anything, they call and they're like, if I post a picture of it on Instagram or whatever, they'll call and be like, Hey dude, are you okay? And I'm like, no, we saw your butter tarts. Yeah.

And it's impossible to get my kids to eat. And their dad and I have very different philosophies on food. Tell us everything. How does this work? So he's got a different outlook on food than I do. I'm just like, let me just get food into them. Yeah. But they're kids. They like things like pizza and hot dogs and chicken fingers and stuff like that.

Why can't broccoli taste like a hot dog? Why can't we pull, why can't we pull like, I don't know, why can't hot dog or broccoli be good on a bun? Like how, how do kids get this messaging? Like every kid likes chicken fingers. Every kid likes mac and cheese. Every kid likes what, where is the messaging coming from? I think it's palette. Like I, you know, they'll eat like steak and salmon once in a while. And they really like dried seaweed, which I'm like, I

what yeah they just eat dry seaweed i think it's because it's so salty but i think their little palates are just glands so they like gland stuff my friend's kids are very similar to your kids ages and they like sushi like they eat sushi like a couple of times a month adam's pointing your kids like sushi adam

Now they're, they're not necessarily eating like the raw fish, but like avocado rolls, cucumber rolls, can't get enough of them. They love them. I don't know. So what, what's your philosophy? What, what's Danny kind eating these days? Cause I know you and I've gone for a lot of plant-based meals or we'll go vegetarian. Like you, I don't know if you're accommodating me half the time because you're so damn nice.

uh yeah jan we'll go to planta yeah jan well but you you've you're the person that has rec or recommended so many great plant-based restaurants to me in toronto i see all the ones you post in calgary and i'm like do they deliver to toronto like they just look amazing i'm a vegetarian but i eat fish once in a while but that's kind of it yeah how did you come to that

you know, it was like, I don't know. It's like something happened in my, it's the same thing. I smoked cigarettes for like a million years. I did too. You did too. Until I just was like, this is gross. I smoked from like 20 to 30. So I learned how in college, it took me a long time to learn to smoke. Yeah. And then I kind of puffed away through my twenties and drank my head off. Did someone teach you, physically teach you how to smoke?

you know other drama students that were just very eccentric at like 19, 20, 21 because they're going into theatre and I remember having a teacher her name was Joyce Gray and she used to admonish us for smoking saying you're foolish ruining your tool she was Canadian but she always seemed to have like an English accent to me which was just maybe the theatre part of her life but just saying you know your voice and I did think of that

At 30, I got my record deal when I turned 30, believe it or not, I was quite old. And I thought, I can't smoke. I know. So I put it out and I'm, that's exactly my nature. When I just make up my mind to do something, I do it. I smoked from when I was 13. I tried my first. Oh, 13. Not awful till I was 27. Well, I just, that seems really early. My, my dad died.

That generation too. I mean, he died, he was just almost 80, but he smoked from the time he was 12 or 13 years old, his whole life. I think he quit at 65, but by then, I mean, you're kind of locked and loaded. You don't smoke. I've never seen you smoke.

No, I stopped at 20. I stopped drinking and smoking at 27. Can you talk a little bit about the not drinking stuff? Okay, tell me about just what that was like. You were obviously a little wild with it at some point and just thought, no. Yeah.

Very, very wild. Very wild. My friends had like an alter ego name for me when I drank and it was Bernice the rabid dog. Bernice the rabid dog. Because I like to fight. I really would. I got real scrappy when I would drink and I wanted to fight.

and like kind of like authority figures I'm sure there's a whole bunch of psychology behind this but like bouncers at bars anyone trying to tell me what to do like yeah so it just got to the point where I was blacking out a lot and I was like this is really scary and it because addiction runs in my family so heavily I was like pull your head out of your and you you were in your 20s when you packed it in right yeah

27. Yeah. 27, which is young. Yeah. I have friends that are just learning how to drink at 27. Right. A friend of mine had did not have a drink until she was 33. Wow. And she just decided that, you know, she really liked Pinot Grigio, but has like one drink a week. She goes, Oh my God, I can see where people would get so carried away with this stuff. I'm like, you had a drink at 33. Her parents were Jehovah's Witnesses.

Okay, so her upbringing. Is that no alcohol, Jehovah's Witness? I think so, isn't it? Yeah.

I, how are you being sober around other people that drink now? Is it, was it an easy transition to kind of go? I'm not going to drink anymore. Yeah. For me, it was, it was like, it's my choice. You do you, I don't love being around drunk people, but that's also because of my own pathology. It brings up a lot of stuff for me emotionally, but I, yeah, I don't, I don't love it, but I also I'll remove myself. Like I don't,

And I'm not very social. So if I go to like an event where everyone's getting drunk, then I'll just be like, and I'm done. Thank you so much. I'm glad you didn't know me when I was drinking.

It was such a train wreck. Also glad you didn't know me when I was drinking. Can you imagine you and I meeting at some kind of, would we have been fighting? Well, and then hugging. And then I would probably sing to you or something ridiculous and then moon you or I don't know. There would be nudity. There would be singing and fighting. I'm sure. What were your, did you do school lunches when you were a kid? Like, did your mom, did you have to like bring a lunch to school? And if so, what was it? What was in it?

I used to go home every day to see my papa, my grandpa, and he would make me sandwiches and like, you know, those canned of Campbell's soup? Yes. A sandwich and a Campbell's soup every day. We would sit and have lunch together, just him and I, and then I would go back to school. Oh, that's the cutest. How's it been for you being sober?

This is like a whole new life. And Danny kind turns the tables. It has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I too came from an, I had an alcoholic parent who did pull it out of the water and he was a good guy near the end, but yeah, it just, I, to me it was like, as long as I don't drink rum, as long as I don't drink rum, we've talked about that on the show before. Yeah. I remember Caitlin saying Jan pirates drank rum. Rum was always done.

Yeah, I just, it was the best thing I ever did. And I, I've been, I'm in my fifth year now and I did try over the years. I would go a couple of years, I would go six months. I was, I was very much a binger, but I would never be doing all the things I'm doing now. And I, I'm pretty sure I'd probably be deceased. I was making my heart really mad. It was just like, I was ending up in the hospital with, they wouldn't call them heart attacks. It was like episodes. Anyway, in our final minute,

I just want to know about what you, I know you've been writing this project too, and you've

it's kind of like a real dream for you to get this project going. Can you tell us just a little bit about that in this last minute and what you kind of hope to do with that? Maybe we'll meet someone out there that's going to pick it up and make it into a movie. Hello, everyone listening. Hello, everybody. Bye, my show. I met the most incredible writer, Rose Napoli, and she's been writing this idea that I've been sitting on for two years, just loosely based on my life. And her voice is so in line with mine. And she's so... You would love her, Jan. She's just like...

We will do dinner. We will do dinner. That would be amazing. When we were at the church, we rented a church.

Adam's giving us the wrap up. Listen, is, does your project have a name or is it the untitled project right now? It's untitled right now. We have a working title. Well, you do, you do so many things beautifully. Well, you, you do it all. And then it's no irony that you're doing a show called working moms because that's what you're doing. You're juggling relationships and,

and just raising children and working on your art and your craft and writing and progressing and moving forward. I know it's constantly challenging, but you inspire everyone that knows you and that's around you. You've been listening to Danny Kind and I have a conversation. We thank you for listening.

And I'll see you soon, my friend. I will see you soon. I can't wait. And yeah, it's, it's Adam. Thanks for coming along. I stopped talking so much. Adam stopped talking so much. I didn't want to interrupt. I enjoyed the conversation. I love you dearly and we'll see you soon. So until next time, totally do. This podcast is distributed by the women in media podcast network. Find out more at women in media.network.