Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
What'd you guys get? It's the Jan Arden Podcast. Sarah Burke, Caitlin Green is here. Caitlin, I just want to start with you because Christmas has been hellish. I think today's topic is we are not in mystique anymore. So what's going on in your life? Oh my God, title of episode. We're not in mystique anymore. I think for Christmas, Santa brought... Oh, do you hear that in the background? Do you hear that little voice? Yes. Hi. It's a hi.
It's fully him saying hi. Oh, there's Poppy. Poppy said hi in return. No, but Poppy thinks I'm saying hi to him now. That's all the time we have for this episode. Thank you for listening to the Jan Arden Podcast and Show. So for Christmas, Santa brought gastroenteritis to my son's daycare. And so...
The reason why he's currently home when normally we'd be recording and I wouldn't be home with him is because his whole daycare broke out in this crazy stomach bug. And then my husband got it. Will hasn't gotten it yet. Thankfully, neither have I. Well, I have a little something going on, but it's not like what my husband experienced. So now we've had to pull him out of daycare early. And my husband is like...
crawling around with him having recovered from the worst stomach illness. Hold on, I'm going to pull him up so you guys can see him because now he wants to see what I'm doing. You're so cute. You're so grown up. You're going to be driving a car soon. He really wanted to come and sit with me. He also has closed the browser window so I currently can't see you guys, but thankfully we're still recording just fine. Yes. Yes, we are. When I hopped on this morning to start the podcast, I was like,
Sarah popped onto the screen and I thought, oh, she's got so much energy. She goes, I am so hungover. So what have you been doing? I have nothing to tell you guys. So go. So...
I think I've told you guys that I am going to be a professor at the University of Western Ontario starting in January. You have? Yes! So exciting. So I've been doing all the administrative stuff to get set up and this week I had to get my like Western card activated for faculty and I realized that I teach on the very first day of class and the anxiety of having to pick up that card before teaching felt like a little too much. And it was my best friend's birthday yesterday who lives in London.
So I killed two birds with one stone and got her spare key from her mother and surprised her at her home because December babies get robbed. I really think December babies get robbed. They need special celebrations too outside of the holidays. Yeah. So what were you drinking? What wasn't I drinking? It started with espresso martinis. I've been on a, yes, I've been on a dirty martini tear as well. Extra olives, extra dirty.
Oh, I thought you just drank vodka nude. I'm out of the loop. And then I think I ended the night on whiskey. So it's all my fault because I mixed alcohol. You went to a full place of Western University. And at the bar that we went to after the restaurant, I had half a pizza left. I had a plan. I was like, this half a pizza will be the before bed pizza. They let me into the bar with it. I was carrying it around like my child, but then I left it there. Oh, no. So that's why I am not in good shape.
I did that on vacation. I brought a pizza from the bar we were at back to the house we were staying at and it made it on the Kawasaki drive back to the house. Amazing. But I don't remember doing this, but I was told that when I got out of the Kawasaki, I proceeded to hold the full pizza as if it was a briefcase.
And everyone was like, this is not how you... Have you ever held a pizza before in your life? Jan, doesn't it take you back? Well, it does take me back. I haven't drank. I am into my ninth year, which feels really great. We're going to have a huge celebration at year 10. I don't know what we're going to do, girls, but we're going to do something great. But yeah, it sounds fun. The eating before you go to bed. Yeah.
And, you know, getting up and thinking that a giant clubhouse sandwich with fries and gravy and a beer and Clamato juice was a really great idea just to get even with the day.
And then, you know, by two o'clock, you're like, I am fine. I'm ready to roll. And this is when I was working in little lounges all over Western Canada. So it was just a cycle of eating bad food. It's amazing what a young body can do. So I'm looking at you now. Now, listen, enjoy your window because Caitlin is 40. I found that out the hard way by asking 17 times, how old are you? I told you yesterday, Jan.
But yeah, there's something that happens to you. I'm going to say at about 46, 47, when that window of you're kind of really feeling lousy for half a day turns into a three-day extravaganza of, oh my God, I'm still hungover. Like you drink on a Friday, you're waking up on a Monday still going, I'm just not right. So I want you guys to enjoy the next five, six, seven years and really, really, really
Just hold that pizza like a briefcase, eat those fries and gravy for breakfast. But that window is rapidly closing. I think my liver must be six years older than I am because I drank so much when I was younger. Because I get those three-day hangovers sometimes now. Not all the time. It's a dice roll. But that's happened to me, especially with tequila. I know that it's very in fashion to have tequila and people say, oh, it's cleaner alcohol. Not when you drink it the way that I was. Right.
What does that mean? What does that mean, cleaner alcohol? Less calories and it's clearer than some alcohols. Vodka, they say that too, I think. Well, vodka is the drink of choice for, I think, people who are alcoholics, I want to say. Yeah.
I feel like vodka was always the choice of people that, and I'm saying this because of my ex-partner of, you know, many years ago of 10 years, vodka seemed to be the go-to hiding bottles and drawers and things like that, that you think that you don't smell it. And that is not true. Mm-hmm.
Because alcohol, the way it metabolizes, when your lungs, when you start breathing out on people. Your skin even. Well, mom used to say to me, like when I was living back home, embarrassingly enough, in my early 20s, you know, you move back home again after moving out and being in Vancouver and thinking you're all grown up and you find yourself in your parents' basement. But mom used to knock on the door and, it smells like a brewery in here.
And it's just from breathing all night, you just stink up a room. And I remember that with my older brother just going, oh my God, don't light a match. This place is going to go up. I don't know how we went down this rabbit hole, but we'd be remiss if we didn't talk about some of Oprah's favorite things.
Because it's just, and I'm really interested in them. Normally, I try and act cool. Like, I don't care about Oprah's favorite things. I don't want cashmere socks. I don't need a diamond tennis bracelet that's on sale for $6,700. Right.
that changes color, but there's things, this MetaQuest 3, we are not sponsored by MetaQuest 3, although we are accepting their application. It's a headset. So you put the headset on and you're immersed in a virtual world. Oh, wait, are you saying Meta, M-E-T-A? Yeah. Sorry, what did I say, Meta? You said Meta.
I am so sorry. So I thought it was like a board game called Meta Quest. Oh, Meta. It's the Meta VR headset. Okay. See how uncool I am? No, this is why we have young women on this show. So it's the Meta, Meta being the parent company of Facebook that they've rebranded to encompass all of their brands now. Okay. I'm really sorry. I'm,
I'm really sorry. Continue, continue. Immersive technology with MetaQuest 3, a paradigm shifting marble that transcends the limits of virtual reality. Unleash your senses and elevate your reality with unparalleled graphics, cutting edge performance, and an expansive library of captivating experiences that redefine the very fabric of digital engagement. Tell me your thoughts.
Have you guys done it? I've not done it. Oh, God. Don't oversell it, Meta. Jeez. Could they have possibly said more words and still I don't know what it is? Well, I didn't even read all the words. I didn't read all the words. You put like goggles on and in the goggle, you basically see yourself in 3D in another world that they're giving you, right? I've actually done this.
an ex-boyfriend had this whole setup and I would come home from work and he'd be in the Oculus. He'd have no idea I was home. Did you ever catch him doing anything sketchy? Was he touching his wiener? I was just going to say, was he touching his wiener?
There's a reason why certain people get them. Was Angelina Jolie like downloaded into his ocular sphere? I mean, there are reasons we are no longer together. That is not one of them. But that's part of what this thing could do for you. I mean, it's cool, though, because you could have this gorgeous man hovering over you or a gorgeous woman. And Lord only knows the things that you could be doing.
Well, it's one of her favorite things, the exercise stuff. So the reason I'm bringing this up, I have a little gym in my house. It's nothing fancy. Got the bike and the, you know, the elliptical and a few weights. But, you know, after a while, it gets kind of, I don't have a trainer. I'm doing sort of the same things, probably really wrong. But what I was watching with the MetaQuest 3 is people were, you know, on their mat, like standing on a mat in a very safe space, because obviously you don't want to run into a wall, right?
And they were punching at discs coming at them. So it made it so fun. Like you kick at a, I don't know, something, a disc in the ditch or a coin in the sky or, and it was very, it was so real because they were on a road, like going through Nevada and, you know, they're running on the spot and hitting this stuff. And after like 15 minutes,
This woman was soaked to the bone and she wasn't like, she looked like me. She looked like, you know, 108 pounds, very, very fit. But I just thought that I could get behind doing that a couple times a week. But the price point is 500 bucks. I feel like that's just like, I mean, that's the cost of like two dinners in Toronto. Yeah.
So that doesn't surprise me. I haven't used the Meta headset. I've used the Oculus because my brother-in-law is a huge tech nerd and they have set up a golf simulator in the basement of their home. So fun. So fun. They have a great golf sim. So the simulator has got a nice big open space. And so what we would do is go down there, set up the Oculus because there's also a projector screen, obviously, for the golf simulator. And so everyone can watch what you see on your
Oculus headset. That's hilarious. That's great. So then I would, I love a first person shooter game because I like to reenact my last of us fantasies of like how many zombies can I kill and however long. So that is a workout I didn't realize because I take it seriously. So I'm like on the ground, like crouching, shooting, like ducking and rolling. And it's hilarious for everyone else to watch you do this.
So I really, I could see that. That would be a fun way to work out because it's a fun way to shoot things. They use it for training videos too. Like you can learn how to do a skill inside those things. I think it's incredible. I'm really going to consider it. If I do end up getting it, treating myself, I will let you know. I am very, I've never done a video game in my life.
I've talked about this with Caitlin years ago on this show. We did the 007 on the tour bus with vibrating paddles back in the day when- GoldenEye? Yeah. So good. GoldenEye. And I was always just running around slapping people because I had no gun. I'd lost everything and all my guy could do was slap people. Anyway, Caitlin Green, whose husband is crawling around on the floor because he's got some kind of gastrointestinal problem.
And he's taking care of a baby right now. Well, so he should. So he is literally crawling around to the floor after a baby. Yeah. I'm not going to feel sorry for him, Caitlin. Do you hear the knocking in the background? I do. Is that his stomach? No, that's his stomach. Is that gas? That's him banging the toilet.
That's my son banging on the door because he's got him in our bedroom right now with the door locked so that he doesn't come out and interrupt the session again. We should just let him do the show. Oh, he'll do it. He's loud. We want to attract a younger audience. Okay, listen, a couple more of these Oprah's favorite things. And I think the Le Creuset people jumped on to a thing that happened during COVID, which was the world closed.
North America in particular started making bread at home. They started doing sourdough starters. They started making cinnamon rolls. It was a big thing because they thought we're never going to get to a grocery store again. And people were trading flour like cocaine in parking lots and trading yeast for like a diamond ring. There was all kinds of weird stuff happening. Calgary did real bad, eh? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. But Le Creuset has come up with the baked bread like the French. And basically, remember the one pot bread that was happening and you would heat up your big cast iron pot in the oven for like 20 minutes and then you'd leave your dough overnight. It was really simple, like yeast, water, sugar, flour. You knead it up. It was a no-knead crusty roll. So now they've come up with a pan that's only going to cost you like 300 bucks to
to do the same thing, only it's touted as made just for bread. I'm calling BS on this because it looks exactly... The only thing they've done is they've made a domed lid. I know I'm being critical, but I suppose you could also use it like a tagine. Okay, I see what you're talking about. So yeah, the bread goes in the bottom thing, which is quite shallow. It's maybe two inches high. And then the Le Creuset lid, which is normally a flat lid that goes on a big pot, is a big dome. Yeah, I mean, if you regularly make bread,
then fine, invest in it. But if you're one of those people who aspirationally wants to make bread, don't start with the most expensive pan ever. One more thing and then we're going to move on. Okay, the miracle sheets. This one, literally the cleanest sheets ever invented. Get this, a self-cleaning, self-cooling sheet. Thoughts, girls? I think my sister got these for Hanukkah from my parents. Wait, are these the ones that have like silver in them or something? Caitlin, you have your ear to the ground, young lady.
They're made with an advanced, all-natural, silver-infused cotton fabric. There you go. That fights 99... This is my fear. So people buy these freaking sheets. They'll never do laundry again. They'll never wash them again. Oh, no, they self-clean, man. Like, yeah, well, you look like you have the Shroud of Turin where your body is laying every night, sir. Ha ha.
The other thing is everyone's putting silver on everything. Oh, colloidal silver will cure all your ailments. And oh, put silver in your workout clothes and put it in your bed. And you're right. It doesn't mean you can't wash your stuff. Like just have a bunch of sets of regular Gluckstein sheets that you get at the bay. They're perfectly soft and nice and just throw them in the wash and call it a day. Sorry, Oprah. Here's their sales pitch. I know. Here's their sales pitch. Right.
Urgent. Due to the world's continued need for bacteria-fighting products, these sheets are selling out quickly. What? Bacteria do people think is really crawling on them? Like, are you a marathon runner? Do you work in a barn? Are you a sanitation worker? If not, and you're just someone who works at like a marketing company, I would counter that you don't need special sheets, probably. I don't know. I just find it really quite...
Yeah.
So a lot of people have 40 sets. My mom used to have so many sheets. When she died, I'm like, why do I have an eight-foot cabinet filled with sheets? This woman never owned a double bed. Like what bed were these for? She just kept them. Oh my gosh. I want to know though what would be on your respective, because I love, so I love a gift guide. I do too. And I love like a favorite things list. So what would you guys put as your like top gifts on your list?
Sarah, you go first. I need to think about it for a moment. You know what I want? What? I really want one of those rings that you have. The Aura ring. You have the Aura. O-U-R-A. I've had it for three and a half years. Okay. My husband has a whoop. Oh. The band, the wristband. So Jan, as the owner of an Aura, would you put that then on your recommended list? Like your favorites thing list? Absolutely. Once again, if this was an Oprah favorite thing...
Like any company, every year they come out with like the new iPhone or the new version. And they're about $400. You can get ones that are $500. I think they just have a little different finish on them. But I will tell you this, it has transformed my sleep. It's transformed the way that I prep myself to go to bed. I'm so excited to wake up and look at my number. And after three years, when I wake up now, I'm going, oh, that was like a 72. The goal, of course, is 100. My highest sleep number ever is 96.
And I felt it. I woke up, my 61-year-old ass did not even get out of bed to go pee. I just, I got up, I woke up like at 6.20. I'd gone to bed at eight o'clock. I read my book for an hour and I was out of bed.
was out. I was 96. I've never done it since, but my goal, my goal is definitely 85 ish. But if I'm in the seventies, I feel it. I know it. I'm draggy. It tells me if I'm exercising too much, which seldom happens, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, it tells me my resting heart rate. Um, they have new features all the time when they update the ring. Um,
There's a thing called stress, like what happened to you between two o'clock and 2.30. And I can think about it and go, oh my God. I was recording the podcast. Yeah, the podcast is always high, but someone buzzed the gate and my heart rate, I was sitting and all of a sudden it was at 110. And the ring, it is absolutely worth getting. And I will never be without it. I don't even like when the charge is down.
lasts for almost a week. But yeah, Sarah, you know what? We need to get you an aura ring. And if the aura people are listening, would it kill you to send this girl one ring? She's a poor teacher. Have them send three because Jan, you need a backup. I want one. Sarah's getting one. So dear aura people. What's yours, Caitlin? What would be your...
wish like a car or something of at this point in time, I think I would want a gift certificate to a cosmetic dermatology clinic because I need to go in and re-op on some Botox. My forehead looks like crap. Um, but it's also because I've been out in the sun. Like I was just away in the sun for a week. So I'm like looking at my skin going, Oh boy, like let's get in here with some laser. Let's, let's do a little bit of maintenance work.
But if I had to put something on my list that I would give to people, honestly, my list would include a Philips Diamond Clean toothbrush. They're a bit pricey too. I looked at them in Costco. They were $479, but it was for two because everyone's coupled. Like they're thinking that you're with someone. So you get two handles. You can get one of them and you can get like an older model and they're still fantastic because I have like a three-year-old model and it's so good. Okay.
So I love it. I feel like I'll never go back to a manual toothbrush. I would be giving those out like candy. And I would also give everyone a Hey You subscription so that they can join my dark world of reality television and I can convert everyone even more to the land of Below Deck.
and Vanderpump Rules and Housewives. What is Hey You? Hey You is the streaming service for all these reality shows. So H-A-Y-U, every reality show you could ever want is there. And it's way cheaper than other subscription services. And I quite like it. How much? It's like $8 a month. Oh.
Oh, that is very good. I mean, I think it's great that you are literally watching unscripted soap operas, more or less. Exactly. Just because I want other people to talk about it with. So I'm going to give it to everybody. You have to watch this. I'm trying to think of something that I would really, really want. And it is more of an experience. I would so love...
To go on an archaeology thing. I know I keep hitting this. You little nerdo. This weekend, I'm having lunch with the former mayor of Calgary, Nahed Nenshi. And we've been friends for years and years. And I mean, I met him when he was like 26 years old going to school in Boston. But he's a brilliant guy. But anyway, the last time I saw him, he said, oh, you're going to love what I'm doing now. I'm consulting a Middle East company.
they found something in the desert that is very much like Petra, that city carved in stone that you see when you go to Israel. I think it's Jordan. Jordan. Jordan, that's right. You take a bus from Israel because my parents went to it. And they found something else, like in the sand and the dunes, and he's consulting on...
how they can basically get people to go hundreds and hundreds of kilometers to get to this place, obviously to make some money and to be able to do more archaeological stuff. It was all, you have to come and see it. I'm like, what?
So that's very exciting. But for me, it would be an experience and no surprise, a metal detector. Like to bring with you? Anywhere. I would like a metal detector. I'll do it in your backyard. I'll do it in your condo. Oh, I see. You just want to like dig around. You're like want to be one of those like retirees on the beach in Florida. Yeah, I don't care. But not in Florida. I want to be like in Dorset or on the Jurassic Coast or where the Romans were building Hadrian's Wall. Like you have to get permits for this stuff. You can't just wander around with it.
With a metal detector going down, you know, the side road on the Thames like you have to there'd be like millions of people out there, I'm sure. But just last week, somebody found 10,000 Roman coins and that are worth so much money. And he's splitting the money with the farmer that gave him the permission to
Will you split it with Nigel?
no, I'm not going to give him a damn coin. He's getting nothing. And I don't think you get to keep the coins. I think those all have to be turned into the UK government or the whatever museum. I don't think you can just like, oh, I've got my bag of coins. I'm just going to keep it and play Ramoli with them when the friends come over. So you can't operate the way the UK monarchy did for all those centuries. Caitlin, now you're getting dark. This is the holidays.
I think the Americans just returned a whole bunch of stuff back to, I don't know what country it is because I have no facts, but basically they had to return a bunch of stuff that they've basically stolen. A lot of things happened in the second world war. Have you ever seen monument men? I haven't.
I hear it's great. It's fantastic. And George Clooney's in it, and it's very worth seeing. And if you're interested at all in what happened to a lot of antiquities during the Second World War and how Hitler was taking stuff from everybody and how these monument men went around trying to protect it and keep it and keep it from the Nazis. Anyway, you're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. And show what an informative show that is taking us on a journey of
of epic proportions, just a potpourri of things. When we come back, Sarah has got viewer responses. Yes, we do. People responded to us this week. Don't go away. We will be here when you get back.
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We've got some quiet now. I think. He seems to, we think. He might just be biting on a piece of wood in the bedroom trying to be quiet for his wife. Sarah Burke, we had some responses on what was your favorite podcast episode or what was some of your favorite moments. So I'm handing it over to you. Well, first, let's see if you guys can figure out. There were two names that came up more than any name. For guests? Yeah. Any guests? Yes.
Rick Mercer. Yeah, he has to be up there. Yes, except Rick Mercer has not been on in the last calendar year, guys. He hasn't? During my time, he's not been here. So people just love Rick Mercer. So yes, his name came up, but in this calendar year. Melissa Gilbert. Brian Adams. Nope, that was also last year. Buffy St. Marie. So the two most named names were the Nipple Sisters and Aaron Davis. Wow. Wow.
Yeah, people really resonated, I guess, with like all of Erin's stories. You know, she talks a lot about grief. And I mean, that's that side boob story she told. Well, it's obviously this...
Something to do with breasts that really resonates with our listeners. Oh, yeah. We have a trend. Yeah, breasts are a win. And the Aaron Davis. Yeah. Buffy did come up. Rick Mercer came up a lot. Clairvoyant Kim, Julie Van Rosendahl. Some of our regulars. So that's cool. Sherry says, I found the Batman interesting. Oh, Dan Riskin. Dan Riskin was so interesting. He writes really amazing op-ed pieces all the time.
about a lot of different topics. And it's funny when, when Caitlin and I were talking about the origin of like, where did this all start? He's like, Oh, I'm crazy about bats and studying bats. And I, and I really sat there for a minute like what? Yeah. He had to specialize. I think when he was in school, like studying science. And I think he said that,
I think the story went that he found out about how bats reproduce and some of their reproductive facts were hilarious and fascinating to him. And I guess, cause he was, you know, like a 20 year old guy, he was like, hell yeah, I'll focus on bats. And so he did. And then he actually has written a children's,
book called Fiona the Fruit Bat. And he sent me and Jan copies and he sent me a copy. And now it's one of my son's favorite books, even though he doesn't really know what's going on. He loves the animation of the little fruit bat and I do voices. And so we read Fiona the Fruit Bat all the time. That's amazing. We got a really funny one. So on Instagram, I asked just what was your favorite moment on the podcast, whereas on Facebook, we were talking about guests. And so we have a note here from Marsha.
I almost died laughing when Jan told the story about farting on an airplane. And I definitely did burn my forehead as she told that story while I was curling my hair. Love the podcast. Yeah.
Oh, sure. Bring that up again, Mara. Does Caitlin know the story, though? I feel like I do. Do you remember it, Sarah? I do. How did it come up, though? I'm trying to remember how it came up. But I do remember like you had a sore stomach. You were trying like not to make eye contact with the person beside you because you knew that you stunk. It was a pretty funny story. I was pinching my butt cheeks together. I was panicked. I'd had a bit of gas that day and I'm never gassy. I don't know what I ate.
It was probably back in the day when I did like animal things. So I'm going to blame veganism is you don't fart. So there you go. Well, you do, but I'm just making shit up now. But I was trying to hold it in on a plane because I knew they kind of were not pleasant, which mortified me. And yeah,
It came out really silent on the plane. Like I just let it out in little tiny, tiny increments and the plane was full and people around me were coughing. Little increments. It was so terrible. So did you act along? Did you just sit there and go like, oh, that's disgusting. I went along with it. But then I remembered, you know, he who smelled it dealt it.
You know, you go back to things like that. And it was my shame. I think about it. Thanks for bringing it up because it hurts as much now as it did back then to think about that moment.
But yeah, it was funny. It's funny when you think, and I've had grown men that have farted in an elevator as the door opens and then leave. They literally go, and the door closes after them. Chris has been with me in the elevator. I'm like, did that guy just fart? He goes, yeah, it's a thing. He said, guys do that.
You just let it go. He said, well, you'll never find the person again. You're never going to see the person again. They get out. You fart as the door closes behind you. So thank you. You're welcome. Merry Christmas. That's sick. I had a first date once fart in the car on the way to dinner. Like first ever date. No. Picked me up going to dinner and he farted in the car. And...
It's like it's one of the two of us. Like, come on. And I remember I really had an internal struggle with my brutally honest side where when he asked why I didn't want to go out again later because I kind of ghosted him. I wanted to be like, well, you farted in the car on the way to dinner. So now I don't ever want to kiss you. Beat it. And I never said anything. I just ghosted him and said, no, you can't tell someone that.
Oh, man. Oh, my God. I have dated a farty boy and it was at the point where our group of friends... What has happened to us? I know. I know. Our group of friends at concerts, when we would smell a fart, we would just all be like, come on. We know that was you. Everyone was always pointing at him. Yeah. Well, I think it really is...
One of the first signs of intimacy when you've been dating five, six months and somebody is kind of peeing with the door like half open or you're sitting peeing and the person is brushing their teeth, you know, eight feet from you, you kind of know, okay, intimacy isn't just,
you know, having physical sexual relations, intimacy is being able to be yourself. Listen, if you're going to be with someone and you have to hold your fart in and you have to worry about being in the bed or being in the, no, you, you will make yourself sick. But I knew a woman, I still know her. I don't see her very often. She's, I don't know, 15 years old than I am. She said, we were talking about this very thing. And this is like 20 years ago. She goes, I have never,
ever farted in front of Chuck. I'm like, what? You have, you just lied. No, she said, I leave the room. I don't say anything. We don't talk about it.
Oh, congrats. I said, does he fart in front of you? She goes, yes, all the time. But I just, a lady doesn't do that. A lady? I'm like, wow. Well, that's the thing. I think there's different social... That trophy's never arriving, by the way, for whoever's been holding in their fart and then it's going to be on their deathbed waiting for a medal for never farting in front of Chuck and it ain't coming. But you can understand that, like the social implications of being a lady and being...
prim and proper and you know waking up with your makeup on this was a thing in the 50s what about waking yourself up with a fart that's alarming that could happen has that ever happened to you guys that's a double whammy that has happened to me like when a when a dog wakes itself up with a fart those videos I love them that was you cutest thing
Oh my gosh, Poppy, he thinks something's really wrong and he gets up and moves. Like he'll get up and go, what was that? And I'm like, buddy, that was you.
And he'll look back at his bum. I'm like, exactly. Try being on a plane with 200 people and letting one of those go. It's not fun. I have a girlfriend when she was dating. And cause you're right. When you start first start dating, you go pee and sometimes you can't help it cause you're peeing and was in a smaller apartment. And she was worried about the reverb from the toilet. She would hold toilet paper over her butt and she called it the, she called it the muffler. Yeah.
Oh, no. Yeah, she called it the muffler. Well, another trick I used to pull was like putting the, oh, I'm just going to have a shower, right? And you go before the shower, you turn on the water, and then you have your moment before you get in the shower. Oh, yeah. Now, this is early dating moments? Yeah. Yeah. But I have literally woken myself up with a fart at the first second sleepover and been like, oh.
This is the worst Christmas episode ever. Happy holidays, everyone. I love talking about this stuff because it normalizes things. It's very similar to when the Kinsey Report came out decades ago about sexuality and what people were doing in the privacy of their bedrooms. And it was a very famous study. No one had really ever taken the time to study
habits and how often people masturbated and all these things. And the Kinsey Report was available for anyone to look at. And I think it really made a lot of people feel really normal about things they did because they questioned tens of thousands of people. So I think farting is right up there with things that
If you can do that in front of somebody and there's a laugh and they're like, oh, come on, Patricia, I think you're on to someone who is probably the right person for you. Maybe there should be a fart test in relationships.
where if someone's going to admonish you or, you know, pull the car over and tell you to get out, Caitlin, it's like, that's not the person for you. I wanted to get out. I wasn't driving. I wanted to open the door and roll out of the vehicle. I know.
But I think early days, we do try to keep it in. Speaking of rolling off the road quickly, we also had a message from Jamie who sent in the voice note last week. And he said he almost drove off the road when he heard it listening to the podcast last week. So Jamie, thanks for always listening. And we loved having your voice note. Well, we don't want to kill anybody. No. No, we don't. Keep it on the road, everyone. This podcast is getting better and better. We have one more. We have one more segment to go. So don't go away. Who knows?
Sarah, why are you questioning me? I didn't know what segment we were on. I really couldn't remember, but I'm not in my best shape. She's hungover. Sarah's hungover today. But you know what? You look really good. This is youth. It's last night's makeup. Oh, we did one of those, did we? Yeah, yes. Oh, it's nice. You still got a little shadow on there too. I brushed my teeth though. Oh, wow. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast and Show, the holiday edition, holiday fart edition. Don't go away. We will be right back. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
I hired a horn section to announce this is the last podcast segment of 2023. Caitlin, Sarah, this is our last segment of 2023. This is the last conversation that the three of us will have in this year, year of our Lord. Reflecting time, ladies. What's your proudest moment of 2023, guys? My proudest moment? I think taking control of my health.
going on hormone replacement therapy, taking the plunge, spending some money because it's not covered by Alberta Healthcare folks or OHIP or any of those things. And it has changed my life. My heart is so much better. I just feel so much better. It's nothing to do with weight loss or anything like that. It's just about getting regular exercise and trying to eat better. And that's my most proud thing is doing that.
And getting my book out finally, The Biddlemores. That was huge. You know? That's a big year. Are they going to like it? Are they going to hate it? I think as an artist, you're always worried about perception. But yeah, those were a couple of things that really meant a lot to me that kind of cheered me on. Very proud. Kaylin? Well, baby, I mean. Oh, that whole thing. Come on. I know it must be amazing. Technically, he was born last year. Like he was born in August. Yeah.
But, um, it's still like, this was the year where I was still on mat leave and then I went back to work. And so it feels still like I'm very much in that like early baby phase. So yeah, keeping him on the straight and narrow, him starting daycare, going back to work, all those like transitions kind of going well. Big. Yeah. It's big. And I love our daycare so much. Hey son, see ya. I'll see you in a few hours. Bye. I mean, so scary. Yeah. And like,
Leaving him with, you know, my dad to go on vacation, like all this stuff, like, you know, just checking those boxes and being like, okay, he's his own little person. He can go in the world. That stuff feels good. And I lost a lot of weight in February of last year is when I started or February of this year. With Noom.
And honestly, I know some people have had their bad experiences with it and not every Noom experiences is the same, but mine was really positive and helped me feel a lot better and just be more aware of what I was eating in terms of quantity and the type of foods. So that made me feel really good.
I'm not currently on a Noom journey. I should probably restart because it does help me hit the gym. I feel way better when I'm working out. Yeah. Yeah. So that stuff. But you also have a life and it's also, these things go in spurts, but you can never rid yourself of that knowledge. That's always there. Some woman was talking the other day on, I just was listening to the radio. I don't even know what it was about, but she was on one of the, the drugs for weight loss. It's in that Ozempic family, but there's a bunch of them now.
Yeah. Because that's what pharmaceutical companies do, right? They're like, oh, we got to do that too. But she was saying that she was not doing the $250 shots a week. This was in the States.
And she's not diabetic. This was solely for her. She lost 90 pounds. But she was going off it over the holidays because she said, I can't eat really through the holidays if I'm on the Ozemp because it makes me feel sick. And I'm listening to this and I'm like, okay, it's such a weird thing.
thing but i'm also very very happy for people that actually have something that can help them she's never been able to do it her whole life once again science is amazing but she did have the sense to go i'm actually going to buy my kids christmas presents because i'll have an extra grand
this month. And I'm going to eat a little bit more. But she said the shocking thing for me, she goes after a month last year, she was, she's been doing this for a few years, she'd gained 10 pounds in a month. Oh, wow. So she just said it's too frightening for her having been very overweight her whole life. And she said, it's something that I need to do for the rest of my life. And she said, I just need that kind of help. So that's interesting. And Noom, of course, is an app if people are wondering what N-O-O-M is.
It's filled with anecdotal things that you listen to every day, things that, you know, give you check marks and stickers and cheer you on. And, and it's, you track your calories, food suggestions, recipe suggestions, and why the psychology. That was the big one. Why are you eating a candy at 11 o'clock at night? Why are you eating candy? And it was just things like, you know, caloric density, like being aware of the fact that if something has more water in it, you should probably,
you can go to town on it, like have as many fruits and vegetables as you want for that reason. Um, but then things that are more calorically dense, like cheese or carbs, you know, just, it's about quantity and you can fine tune everything. Like if you crush a huge workout, well, you have, we know a lot more calories to work with that day than a day where you're perhaps a little bit more sedentary and you set what your weight loss goal is. So if you set an unrealistic weight loss goal, uh,
then you are going to be put on a very restrictive daily caloric intake. But I didn't do that. I gave myself a really long leash. So I found my experiences was quite positive and like reasonable. So I personally really liked it. I haven't been doing it for a while. Cause I'm like, I want to have my shortbread cookies over the holidays, but then I'm going to go back. Good for you. Very fair. Do they make long bread cookies? Is there such a thing as a long bread cookie? There should be. I would have that. Sarah, you didn't answer yours. What's your proudest moment? Um,
Not killing the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. Yeah, I said it. No, I'm joking. Wow. Okay. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. Murder is serious. I mean, I didn't even like squatter with a bouquet of flowers. I was so good. I sat pretty with my hands crossed and listened to her speech.
I just smacked a smile on my face. That was hard for you. That was hard for me. That whole process. I learned a lot. I'm grateful you talked about it. Yeah. And you know what? Me and my sister are really good right now. So, you know, everything's a journey with family and you got to keep working at it. Right. So, but I would say professionally, like,
I have new clients this year and that's been really nice. And one of them, you know, came from Chris, your road manager, Jan. So thank you for that. He brought me Tommy and Debbie for their Trust Me, I'm a Decorator podcast. And you have your own podcast as well. Sarah has her own podcast.
Women in media. And Caitlin will because she is our reality TV gal. That's right. That's coming. I'm waiting for it. And I want to do a standalone trending one to like as like a build out of my trending segment on the Chum Morning Show. So there'll be good stuff in the future. You also went through a breakup and came out the other side.
Yes, yes. And I'm going on a date on Friday. So I guess we have a teaser for the new year. Is this an app date? Well, we haven't met yet, but I did find him on an app. We moved off the app, talked through text and we were like, yeah, well, we're both free this weekend. We should make some plans.
never made any plans and the next time I heard from him was a LinkedIn request and I was like oh my god LinkedIn I don't know if you could call it ghosting because like neither of us really tried we kind of just left it anyway I posted about it on Instagram which prompted him to send me a message and be like oh my god I read it the wrong way I feel terrible you're a babe can I take you out
I love this So we'll see what happens We're gonna have some cocktails No 12 hour dates And don't drink too much Yeah Only like a half dirty martini Maybe we'll see
No, but do you have like a one or two drink? Because we talked about this before. The sober dating. Remember, it was one of our topics. We talked about the importance of maybe you go on a sober date and you just talk and you have a coffee or a tea or a salad, whatever. Yeah. But you don't drink on that first thing. I would have like two drinks. Because I think things can get out of hand. Maybe like two drinks and a nap. Okay. Did you say nap? Sorry to interject. Oh. So we've been alerted to the fact that our son is now sick with whatever my husband had. So I'm going to go. Okay. Okay.
Thanks for everything. Happy new year. Thanks. Not mystique anymore. Bye everyone. Bye. Oh no. I never liked her. Stop.
This is our real life, folks. So Caitlin literally just hit leave. Listen, what a year we've had. Capped off with our podcasting award for a major media podcast, which is fantastic. Yeah, congrats. And that's because of you guys. That's because of you, really. Well, it is, more or less. But no, we have such a great team and we have great fans and great listeners. And, you know, I can't wait next week, just as a little teaser,
A, we're going to hear about Sarah's date, which is going to be fantastic. And I hope he knows that. I hope he knows that, you know, he is, he's a front and center. Well, he got called out on Instagram already. So he, I think he understands what my life is. But we're going to be talking about, you know, the year, like what's coming up. And we're going to talk about resolutions as we always do this time of year and, you know, what they mean and what it means to not,
follow through on resolutions and why do we make them and why do we join a gym that we're going to go to twice and then we don't do it and we're going to talk about why. And maybe we can even find somebody that can explain that a little better than we do. So we're going to look into that this week. I bet you Sarah can find someone that really knows... Like the psychology of it. Yeah. Why do we set ourselves up to not follow through? But just...
You know, favorite stuff of 2023. I can tell you one thing. The word of 2023, remember what it was, Sarah? The word of 2023 was...
I don't remember. Authentic. Oh, yes. Yes. I was like, it's so memorable. I don't remember. Yeah. No, no. It's pretty nutty. But once again, thank you for an amazing year, Sarah. Thank you. Thank you, Caitlin. I hope young Will is okay. It's really crappy, literally crappy to have stomach stuff. And now Caitlin is dealing with her son and her husband.
And hopefully she is going to, I think she's just going to have to wrap herself up in saran wrap and not breathe around them, like breathe through a straw underneath the door from the hallway or something. I don't know. I wonder if the muffler would work on that. I think a lot of people are going to be using that to muffle the sound of their flatulence. You're welcome. You're welcome. Nothing but tips here.
on the Jan Arndt Podcast and Show. Listen, have a wonderful, wonderful new year. We will see you next week. Thanks for listening and look after yourselves. Don't be hard on yourselves for crying out loud.
Every day is a gift. And every day that we're here is nothing short of a miracle. And it's never too late to try new things or to embark down new paths. It's never over till it's over, folks. So listen, if I can write a novel at 60 years old, anything is possible. Sarah. Thank you for having me. We expect to hear every detail, every detail. It'll be documented. Okay. We'll see you next time. Toodly-doo.
This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.