Fast Times at Spring Bank Community High
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Yeah, Rose Cousins is with us today from Halifax, Nova Scotia. She's clapping along. Oh, yeah. The Jan Arden podcast is coming to you pre-recorded because we swear a lot. How long does the music go on, Adam? This seems really excessive. Here we go.

Oh, okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's it. That was, well, I love that little jingle. It was written by Russ Broom, my friend and collaborator. Rose, welcome. Oh, it is great to be back. Rose Cousins is a singer-songwriter, one of the most prolific...

gifted singers I have ever known. We have done a little bit of work together, but we're hoping to do more stuff as the years roll on. But if you have not heard Rose Cousins music, I'm just going to stop for 30 seconds and I'm going to allow you the time to go and download. You can go to Spotify, iTunes, your favorite streaming platforms. I'll give you time right now. Go run to a record store. If you can find one, because I think there's three record stores left in Canada,

that probably are open today, and you can go get an LP. Yes, just grab one. Does anyone know what LP stands for? No. No, I'm asking you. I'm like, I'm not. Long play. Is it a long play? Let's Google that. Long play vinyl. God, we should know that being in the music business. Long play, you're right. Yeah, long play, which is a complete lie.

Because as we know now, if you're the type of person that plays your LPs, which I do, I have a whole stack from high school still. I've got my Donna Summers that I bought from the co-op. It was a double album. I feel loved.

Um, there's just was some great, great, great music. But anyway, I've got all those LPs. There was a few that melted in my parents' basement for whatever reason. I brought them out and I just could not, they were literally a wave and the needle could not ride that wave. But, um, they're only like what, 20 minutes long aside.

So you just sit down, you just fire up your doobie, you get your bowl going in your bong, and the kids are there, you're ready to talk about the world and whatnot, and the album, and your long play album's over. Well, maybe it's longer because you've got to get up, get it out of the case, dust it off, calibrate the needle, put it on, get back up, turn it over,

I don't know. No, it's a lot. Do you have LPs, Rose? I do. I know we went through this. I went through this with you probably six weeks ago. You got the speakers, you got the speaker wires, you got your amp. Yeah. For my birthday last year, I've always wanted and thought that I would become a complete adult if I had actual speakers that I could really experience music through and a turntable now.

I have a friend in PEI. He owns Back Alley Disc, which is where they sell all our records there. But he also has this like side hustle where he gathers components of stereo systems. So I asked him to put one together for me for like 250 bucks. And I have a Sears model turntable and very modern speakers. Well...

It's all about the needle, isn't it? No, listen, it is. And I had to just get a new one there not too long ago. Now, have you used it? Have you hooked it up? Or has this been waiting in escrow? I've actually been thinking, but I've been feeling guilty about this for the last week and being like, I went, I took the Sears model, I took it into the audio store to get a new needle, and I haven't played a record on it since, so...

Maybe it's just for lack of leisure in my life. Really got to just like allow myself to put on a record, get the doobie, as you say, and that maybe calm me down. I'm laughing. Adam's laughing too, because I've never, I've smoked pot once in my life. I was 18. I've talked about this before. My friend, Teresa and I were at Mike Bushel's party and they were doing something like it with a big plastic pop bottle and they cut the bottom of it off.

And it was hash actually. They probably actually didn't cut the whole bottom off. Maybe they just cut a hole in the bottom. I'm not going to, I'm not going to say that I know how to do all any of those things. Okay. Well, anyway, that was, that was my big. So even when I say bong and stuff like that, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Yeah.

Can you vape pot? Adam's nodding. Do you smoke pot, Adam? I mean, we're not going to, we're not almost going to go to jail because it is legal in this country. It is. I'm not saying I've never tried it. That would be a lie, but I actually don't. I don't these days lately for a long time. I don't. Wasn't it Clinton who said he didn't inhale? Yeah, right. I know, but I can understand that at a party you want to be cool.

The bong is being passed around the truth circle. It gets to you. You puff it in. And...

And you don't breathe it in. It's like, listen, I remember being like 14, 15 at a party, although I became a terrible drinker as I grew older. But I remember being at this party and I just didn't drink yet. I just didn't drink alcohol. I was too freaking young. But the Mickey went around, freaking Mickey's. I mean, you didn't have enough money for a 26 or so, you bought a Mickey. And there's probably like five of us sitting there like bowling pins in front of a fire.

And I just put it to my lips and I didn't drink it. So you can do the same thing with smoke kids. If you're out there and you don't want to participate, you can just pretend, you know, not only is this podcast, you know, entertaining, but it's also ripe with hints to get through adulthood, which brings me to today's topic. Do we have enough? What, how much time do we have left in the segment, Adam? Like, can we even begin this topic? You have six minutes. Yes. I wanted to talk about high school.

So if you're driving and you just screeched on your brakes and pulled over, I wanted to talk about high school and our experiences with high school. And do we still know people from high school? Are we friends with any of the people we went to from high school? Did we have good teachers in high school? Was it memorable? Was it terrible? Was it...

Rose, where do we even begin? Or junior high. I don't know. I also, when you told me you wanted to talk about this, I had not nightmares, but crazy high school characters pulled into my dream last night, including a high school boyfriend who was like,

who kind of was like, like was, was like elusive. And then all of a sudden, like he was hanging out with some other like popular kids or whatever. And then, and then I was like standing in another place and he came over to me and he was asking me where all the pet values were. And I was trying to show him on a map. And then he was like twisting his legs around mine. And I'm just like, what's going on here, man? You weren't giving me mixed signals, which is probably everything in high school. Like what signal is anything? A pet value. I have no idea what was like the number of things in this dream last night.

The dog was in it. The high school boyfriend was in it. A couple of other high school friends. The car I'm trying to buy is in it. There's a major rainstorm. There's just a lot of things that I was up against and that were confusing. Dreams are so crazy. But yeah, high school, like high school, like blissful and completely traumatizing. Maybe don't want to have kids because I don't want to put them through high school. That speaks volumes.

To not want to have children. Well, no, that's not, that's, that's only one of the 4,000 reasons not to have kids, but it's one of my top 10 reasons why. Well,

Did you have, go to a large high school? Cause I know. Yeah. Okay. Well, how many kids were sort of in the 10th, 11th, 12th grade? Is that, is that what high school consisted of for you guys? My high school was from grade seven to 12. Oh, and there were only 400 and less than 450 kids in the whole school. So 65 ish people in my grade 12 class. So small. I had 42 kids in my high school class.

The junior high was separate from us. The junior high was about a mile and a half up the road. So the buses would drop the elementary kids off. Then it would go 700 meters to the junior high, drop those off, and then

After the high school we went, but I would say there's like 120 kids in the high school and about 40 kids in each grade. But everyone, it seemed like one big grade high school. It just, I felt like, it felt like there were so few of us that we all could skip school at the same time. If you had planned, if you planned it well, you could just all not go. But it was,

I don't regret it. You know, I've certainly had friends where we've had discussions and they're like, yeah, I was, I didn't know 99% of the kids until our grad and they were saying their names and kids were walking up to get their diploma and shake the hand of the principal. And they're like, I've never heard of that person. I've never heard.

I've never walked past them in the hallway because they had 2,200 students. I can't imagine that experience. Yeah. Like huge, like, you know, big city, thousands of kids. Like, yeah. How do you even, I don't know. I mean, there you go. It's like polar opposites. Like people would probably be like, Oh my God, that's not enough, not enough people. And like, isn't it like, you know, you know, growing up in a tiny place, um,

you don't get a lot of room necessarily to be yourself, but then are you still trying to find yourself if there's thousands of people? I don't know. Or maybe you just find more of your people because there's more. I don't really know. I don't know that one is better than the other. Did you guys have cliques? Like in, was there enough kids to have jocks, uh, the chess club, the brainiacs, I guess you'd call them the fem bots. Can I be so bold as to say, didn't have a group of fem bots. I

I mean, there's divisions of like, there's divisions and bull crap of, of like, you know, quote unquote, popular quote unquote, whatever. But because there was so few people, you had to be in several different groups, you know, you couldn't just be, you know, maybe probably the most segregated were, you know, the,

I think we called it there, like there was a corner on the school property called Smoker's Corner. I kind of felt like I was, I definitely felt like I was a part of several groups and no group at all, which I don't think was, I don't know whether it was better or not. I was just trying to find like empathy anywhere really for this, just like such an uncomfortable time of life. Really? Why? Well, that's a bigger question. I'll save that for the next one.

But I have to say, in our high school, Springbank Community High School, and they had a naming contest. They actually had a contest to name the high school. I wanted Rocky Mountain High so badly because we're in the foothills of the Rockies. Anyway, Springbank Community High School had a smoking lounge. Inside? In the school. And it had carpeted steps everywhere.

And anyway, you're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. Rose Cousins is with me. Adam Karsh is always. We'll be right back. We are so excited to welcome another new sponsor, our friends at Cove Soda. Have I pestered Cove enough to come and join us here at the Jan Arden Podcast? I love them so much. They are Canadian, first of all. They are a natural, certified organic, zero sugar soda, which includes, get this, one big

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Welcome back to the Jan Arden podcast. Today we're with Rose Cousins. She's with us from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Her dog, Harrington, is sitting beside her. It's thundering there, but he seems to be getting through it just fine. Adam Karsh is his studio in Toronto, Ontario. And here we are, folks. We're talking about high school today.

And I love talking about this. I don't think there has been one moment in my life that hasn't somehow connected me back to high school. Of things that I've done, if I've accomplished something, if I've met a new friend, if I've

you know, once in a while ran into somebody that I went to school with in Costco. You know, we stand there like a couple of knuckleheads for a few minutes, you know, asking, oh, have you ever heard about what happened to this person or that person? And it always just seems kind of bittersweet to sort of stand there and have these little conversations and then like, oh, that's cool. I'm glad you have six kids and, you know, that you're a realtor and you own a bowling alley. Bye.

but it's, you walk away and you think about it all day. Yeah. It's interesting that like the people who stayed in touch or the people who like the different kinds of friendships, the people who stayed, the people who went away, who traveled, who didn't travel, who have families who are, you know, divorced. It's, it's interesting. I don't, I'm not connected with very many people that I went to high school with a few, um,

who I'm still close with and like make points to get together with when I go back to Prince Edward Island. Oh, there's some thunder. But yeah, like I, I don't know. I feel like high school was, I feel like I had this sense of, I remember like grade 12 and thinking like feeling a deep sadness of it being over and having to leave and also like wanting to run screaming because there was just like,

So much drama and like emotional trauma of like, you know, trying to navigate relationships and nobody really knowing what the frig we were doing or, you know, how to align oneself. It's yeah. It's it's a, it feels like a deep, a deep place of, of wounds and discovery and also get me the heck out of here kind of thing. Did you think you would know that?

more people than you do? Did you think that you would travel life with this group of individuals? Like that there was 20 people that you're like, I'm always going to know these people. And did you, when you left it, was it like, no, that's it. I don't think I'm going to see these people again. I think there was five years after high school that I really felt resistance. Um, I kept in touch with more people. Um,

And then realized that I maybe was making more of the effort to keep in touch. And I was like, I just, there was, there was five years where I felt it was uncomfortable to go back because I really like, didn't feel like I had much. I didn't, I don't know that I had found my people really. And, and like,

And went to university and was having all these new experiences that I kind of didn't want to come back and share because I just wanted to go and like figure out what's my own thing. There's not really any room in this tiny, tiny town. And then like, especially when I started playing music, there was just kind of like you go when you when you grow up in a small town, it's like don't get too big for your britches.

You know, don't be saying too much about whatever. So you don't really feel like even when you're having great experiences that you can come back and talk about it, especially for people like who stayed and didn't go and do other things. Yeah, I know people, not well, but I live very close to a little town called Bragg Creek. And the Bragg Creek kids did go to Springbank School. They didn't have a separate school out there. They were a little further away.

But I know to this day, I mean, I still go out there for groceries. I go out there to get gas once in a while. Rose, I think I've brought you up to Bright Creek. It's only like 15, 20 minutes from my house, but there's guys that were a little older than me in high school that are still sitting at the bar. And I am not exaggerating. I am not like just making up a story to make this podcast super interesting. They are sitting at the bar.

drinking beer if you catch them on the right day. They call me Richards. Hey, Richards. I'm like, hi, Harry. How's it going? Same, same. Okay, same. How about you? Oh, same, same. Yeah. But I think, I don't know.

Were you popular in high school? I feel like I wasn't popular, but I wasn't unpopular. It's that thing. Like, I really do feel like I, like I played sports. So I was in with the sports people. I was on student council. Like I did all the things, you know, I was a girl guide and the Pathfinder, you know, I was the person that would organize things. I definitely had, I had friends in all the different,

groups of people. And I felt, I didn't really feel like I fit into any of them. And so therefore I didn't like chop any one of them off. Like I felt bad for the kids who weren't really like treated very well. And like,

maybe there was like somebody who was kind of annoying, but I was just kind of like, oh, like it must be hard. Maybe I had, maybe this is why like I end up microscoping on all the writing that I do about like the deepest parts of the feelings, because it's just like, it's just hard to be alive. And high school is just this cesspool of, of feelings you're trying to choose from and figure out which, which stuff is yours. And then if you're open to being influenced by other people, you're even more screwed. And I think that I wasn't,

I didn't go in any one direction and I may have pined in, in certain directions, but kind of in the end was, yeah, it was kind of like a lonely place really. And I don't really feel like I had like a really best friend until I was almost 30 in my, in my friend Edie Carey, who I kind of met through music. And it's like this place you want to feel like you fit in. And if you don't, it's like the, the, the level of alienation is pretty intense. And so I just kind of like turned to humor and,

I turned to accomplishment. I probably had better, more intellectual conversations definitely with like the teachers, like the vice principal was really great. Like I had felt like I was supported there. I don't know that I ever really felt supported by my peers. I wonder what the disconnect was. Yeah. No, I wonder what the disconnect was. I think back to the person that I was in high school and,

And I was quite funny, but I also know that it was an absolute facade that protected me. So I wanted to burst into a room and be the first person to make fun of myself. I remember this guy, I'm not going to say his name. I'm not even going to say his initial because it was too small of a school, but there was a guy that I loved so much. And I have spoken about this in different interviews and

Anyway, I just remember him. I overheard him talking to this group of people. I think it was mixed boys and girls. And he said, yeah, Jan's, you know, really cool, but she's not the kind, she's not girlfriend material. And that has stayed with me my whole life. I, and I don't know why at 59 years old. So this is 40 years ago, longer than that. Cause we were in like 11th grade that I can, I can,

I summoned that memory from, from my locker of thoughts. And, and there it is. She's not girlfriend material. Oh, and let's just, it just stays with you. Like I, I had someone push me on a swing when I was in grade five and I was like the tallest, one of the two tallest girls in my class. So therefore the head, one of the heavier ones, like I was probably like 85 pounds and

pushed me on the swing and was like, Whoa, you're heavy. And like, I, and then it just sent me like, it's just incredible. The impressions that get made when you're like a tiny little developing hamster and stays with you and like creates like whatever dysmorphic thing I have about my body today. Is this stupid? Nope. You're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. I'm here with Rose cousins. Thank you for your vulnerability and your openness, Adam Karsh. We're going to pick your brain. Um, we're talking about high school today. Um,

And I hope you'll stay with us. We'll be right back. Hello, I'm Jan Arden. I'm here with Rose Cousins, Adam Karsh. This is a podcast called the Jan Arden Podcast because we couldn't think of another name for it. And we're talking about high school today. And it's tough, I gotta say. Talking about...

things, sentences, literally a group of words, a handful of words that are carefully placed together that bother you for a lifetime, that stay with you for a lifetime. Like somebody saying that to you, Rose, pushing you on a swing. Oh, you're heavy. I'm 72 pounds, you dummy. But it's just like you, I don't know how we...

process things when we're young like that. But man, what a precarious age, which really goes to show you the power of words, the power of intention. When you have good parenting or bad parenting, why do people take paths in life that we can look at it and go, it's so difficult. And I think it was you, Rose, that brought it up in one of our conversations. You're like, when you talk to people and ask them how they are,

Um, like you, you want to say what happened to you? Like how, how did you get to this place? Yeah, it's, it's really like, and it's not different in adulthood. Like I'm thinking about when, you know, when the switch over, when you're in elementary school and you really, my therapist always said that it was, says that it's like around when you're eight, you kind of, your awareness opens and you become more aware. And like, maybe you have like on a, on a spectrum, maybe you become more

aware of how you look or how you're relating or, you know, as opposed to just being a kid. And I remember it really peaking in grade six. Like it seemed that there were, although there was a divide in, you know, in, in grade one of like, you know, girls going off in different groups of friends, but, um,

experiencing like a moody friend who would like decide on any one day, whether I was her friend or not that day and feeling empathy, feeling hurt, but also being like, I can't abandon this person. This is a feeling that I've had that I've like taken all the way through into adulthood of just like, you know, when you're in something and it might be, it might be toxic, toxic, it's not serving you, but you feel like you can't abandon this person because you feel like you're their only person.

I feel like that's something that was like seeded young. But like we're really just like there's no – I grew up in a home where nobody talked about feelings. So there was nowhere to off-gas that, bounce it off of anybody. You can't bounce it off your friends because they don't know what the heck's going on because they're just also 11 and or also 15. There's just this – we're just swimming in this pool of emotions and at any one time trying not to drown of like –

Who am I-ness? I don't know. Do you think it would have been exacerbated? I mean, our high school experience with social media? I can't imagine being a teacher and having to deal with there being phones and stuff. Cause like we were doing well passing notes in, in, in class. I can't imagine like, and it's, and the thing is, is that it's,

it just ups the level of false falseness that there's like, because what, whoever says whatever about whatever, when you're passing a note or if somebody said something about high school and you get wind of it, like it could not be true or whatever, but like people can post things onto a public place and,

Kids are doing horrible things like making fake accounts and saying, you know what I mean? It's just like, it's just amped. It's on steroids right now. I can't imagine. I think about that for my nieces and I worry. It's just like, I just want to protect all of my nieces and nephews from, from, and they're just on the cusp of, of hormones coming into their body. I'm just like, I just want to protect them from all of the things that are inevitable, which is just questioning who you are and where you fit and if you fit and if you look okay. And,

comparing yourself and I just want them to know that they're like beautiful, wonderful, good people. Well, I think them having an aunt like you is superb because you bring, you know, obviously so much life experience, but you can't protect people from hardship. And, you know, I've written about this before that, and I've watched people do it over and over and over again with their own kids. And that is removing obstacles.

You know, we, I think parents are, you know, God, I mean, I never had kids. You never had kids. Adam's got two beautiful little girls, but I would imagine that,

Adam, you can answer this better than we can, but I think leaning towards removing hardships for your children and removing obstacles is hard not to do. Yes. I mean, yeah, that would be, I would want to, but I don't know if that's doing them any favors either because, you know, they won't be able to. You don't think you're the kind of parent that does that? Do you feel like you let them fail?

Um, not necessarily that. I just don't want to sugarcoat life for them. But at the same time, of course, I want to protect them. Of course, I don't want them to be bullied or have negative experiences. And it's already, I mean, they're not babies anymore. It's, they've had some instances and it's, it's, I don't like it. It hurts to see them go through that. How did you do in high school? I was okay. I have pretty fond memories of high school. Um, I'm still friends with, uh,

a small group of people that I was friends with in school, like high school. But I, some of them I knew even going back to elementary school, like I've been friends with them for 35, 40 years. Like we're still buddies. So it's cool that we can share memories of back in the day, but I did. Okay. I wasn't myself necessarily popular, but,

Some of my friends were popular. So I like got a taste of that crowd, taste of the good life. I think my later high school years were better. Junior high, not so much. In high school, I was in a band. So I did the battle of the band circuit. That was fun. So I had some pretty fond memories of high school overall. I mean, I have some really fun memories of high school, but I'm with you, Rose, on that feeling of, it was about half dread,

And half, half, I was so self-conscious about having, like, sweaty armpits. I remember... Or, like, bleeding out onto your chair. Well, I didn't get my period until I was, like, almost 17. So I was really late in that department. But even, you know, growing up and, you know, my mom trying to somehow talk to me about getting a training bra. Like...

And changing in a corner of the gym in the changing room in high school because I was starting to get breasts. And welcome to the Jan Arden podcast. And, you know, of being in the corner of a room and trying to somehow get my arms out of my shirt and get my gym shirt on and then really worrying about like. And my mom could see me going out the door trying to cover everything up and trying to.

But things like that, I think the physical changes of your body make high school even that much more difficult because you're going through all this stuff, whether it's hairy legs, but the sweaty armpit thing. I remember it was picture day and I had this pink shirt on and I hated my hair didn't work out. And I just, I just felt like, I don't even know. I felt inhuman.

Yeah. It's like navigating your body, which is changing and then navigating your feelings, which you cannot even pin down. And, you know, and then like for me, I, when I was 15 or 16, like, I know I was just hateful. Like I, and I was just like, I'm, I would please get me out of this place.

like I was, I was like mean. And then I was like, why am I being so mean? Like, like knowing it's happening and not being able to stop it to other kids, mostly to like my mom and dad, but my family, I think I was an asshole at home as I was trying to navigate being alive. But yeah, I just experienced a friends of mine. His son is in that spot and I just only feel deep sympathy for him. I'm just like, Oh, he doesn't even know. He's just contrarian. He's just like, Oh, I'm just like, just hold on for two years and you'll be better.

But it is. So they're capturing this piece of humanity that everything is piled on top of each other. So it's no wonder that

all the feelings, you know, and then now just for fun, let's throw in a little bit of sexuality. Yes. Let's throw that in. Let's question one more thing. Let's, let's see if somebody likes somebody and then the next day they might not. Let's see what this girl says about that girl to that person. And that guy who said that thing out on the soccer field. Oh, you're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. We're talking about high school.

And I'm not going to tell you if this ends on a positive note, we're going to try. We're with Rose Cousins, Adam Karsh. We'll be right back. And here we are back again. I'm Jan. I'm with Rose Cousins, Adam Karsh. This is the Jan Arden podcast. We've been talking about high school today.

And I guess, I don't know. I do have good memories of high school, but I think back and I'm like, I don't know how I could have made it easier for myself. My parents were in hell. My dad was an alcoholic. My mom was trying to work. So when I got home, I didn't talk to them about anything, but that certainly wasn't the fault of my mother. My dad wasn't there. But I have to say that my friend Teresa up the road,

who I'm still very good friends with to this day. And I've seen her and her husband this whole pandemic. Like I've seen them a lot. And, but we met when we were 12 years old, you know, in homeroom. She had come from another part of rural Alberta. They, her family was Dutch immigrants that, you know, came over here. And, but I, I just went to her house. I constantly rode my bike up there or walked up there. It was about three or four miles away.

And I would just hoof it there and just be there for dinners. And I was always welcome. There was always soup on the stove and always homemade bread. And we would just play outside and we would play pageant in the basement and we would play. Like I, I have such fond memories of Teresa, but it's this age old story. And I'm sure a lot of our listeners can relate to this. We didn't really hang out in school.

We weren't in the same homeroom, but we were inseparable outside of that. But in school, just a little different. We didn't see each other a lot. Same grade. You know, she was one of the 42 kids. But I don't know what I would have done without her, and I still feel that way. It was just like one of those things where we just grew up together. But I don't know many other people from high school

um, that I still know now fast forward to the guy that said that, um, I wasn't girlfriend material. He ended up when I bought my property here, uh, I've been here 16 years, I think he did some yard work for me. And, uh, I was, I was like, wow, what, what did I, what was in my mind? And I just, I kept looking at him.

And it was actually very vindicating because I just thought, you're working in my yard and you're very nervous around me. Like he was extremely nervous around me. And, you know, he was smoking by his truck and he's just like, you know, I really liked you a lot in high school.

And I'm like, I'm not even having this conversation. There were some really, I was just trying to think of also like when we just took this last break of like, what are some, what are some good things? Like I remember looking forward to dances, but like the slow dances, because it's like, there's so little like, you know, like, and like hoping that you would have a slow dance. And I'm thinking about like my favorite slow dance song, which was, I think Paula Abdul's blowing kisses in the wind.

Anyway, like having like birthday parties where you have all your little girlfriends over and there's, you know, making up dance routines. That's probably more junior high. Yeah. Like there definitely was, there definitely was like a bittersweetness about, about leaving it. Like I had a lot of tenderness for it and a lot of hurt, but definitely lots of really cool, sweet things.

and friendships and alliances and, you know, sporting successes and triumphs of, I don't know. Like it's, it's just like it, but it, but it it's, it is a really torturous place because you're in the most, you're in the first, that first really painful formative part of your life where you, you kind of have to start figuring things out on your own. Like your parents can't help you with, with navigating friendships. And I think that, yeah, this, this,

I see my siblings kind of going through that with their kids. And it's like, well, nobody teaches you how to teach someone how to have feelings. Like, how do you help someone navigate through that stuff? I always felt like the curriculum in high school, especially, should include more, I guess I'm going to say human resources almost, to be able to

To be with each other, to have practical skills. I mean, yes, I know physics and English and social studies and biology and all those sciences. Everything's important math, but we're not really taught how to treat each other. Maybe, maybe. Totally not the social aspect of relating. Would they even be open to that? Like, could you even do it in the cesspool of emotions of, of high school? Like, could you, what would the course be? I don't know. I don't know myself either. I,

I know that life is just trial and error. And I know that people don't take advice, young people, especially, you know, whenever people say, what would you say to young people coming up in the music business? And I'm just like, hang on to your hat, work hard talent. Yeah. Talent is, is, is obsolete. Really. It's about being absolutely persistent and consistent and do every open mic and write, write, write and sing, sing, sing. Like I,

it's always parents handing me those demo tapes, right? Of like, is there, is there the 14 steps that we can omit to get to where you are? I'm like, nope, go sing in the bars. I had people throwing bottles at my head. I survived it and I have such good memories of it, but man alive, I'm thinking, would I do this again? I don't know. That does sound like high. There is a parallel to high school. Like you really like, it's like the first time you're out on your own in a shooting range and you're

And like, you know, I think the hardest thing probably is getting any sense of yourself, like getting any sense of finding an anchor within yourself because it's maybe the first time. I mean, I felt really alone through most of my childhood, but like really having to like, if you don't have an anchor in yourself, you really can get swept up into a, like a situation that

I don't know. I was always a very cautious kid. Like I was the, I was the one that was driving everyone home, you know, and people were like telling their parents that they were with me so that they would be able to do other things. But yeah, it's, it's really, it really is that first time you really like that you're really called to, to be, to be like, who, who are you? When, what, and what do you, how are you going to represent yourself here for the first time as a human being? You you're, this is where your reputation begins. Maybe. I don't know.

Do you feel like you started becoming a person at 30? I feel like, you know, maybe when you met Edie and found that kindred spirit, you know, with a really true friendship, like a soulful, great girlfriend friendship, you know, do you think you started becoming a person then? Do you know what I mean by that? Like owning yourself, owning your feelings, finding your own kindness, finding kindness for yourself. Yeah, you know what? Probably. Probably.

she was really the first person in my life to really reflect back to me, reflect myself back to me. And, and, and, and like the best part of that was the moments where she was like, you're being an asshole right now. And I'm like, Oh shit. Like,

Thank you. It was like immediately relieving. And she would say that to you. And yeah, and she's, and we, we talk on a daily basis now too. She's just like, we just are able to talk about everything. Well, maybe I didn't have anyone. I didn't have anyone like that, that you could really talk about like all the things with. You said something interesting that she was able to, she was one of the first people to reflect back. And I remember my dad, when we were very young saying, you become who your friends are.

And I guess he was talking about, you know, when we got up to no good and we're standing around, got home at three in the morning and been drinking beer and we're out with these, you know, people that were leading us down the garden path. I think I kind of figured out what he meant by that as I got older, of surrounding myself with really good people. And I don't have, and I've talked about this before too, I don't have a lot of friends. I'm going to give you the last minute, Rose. What? Oh, no. Yeah, I am. I'm going to give you the last 60 seconds, just about...

Do you think high school has anything to do with the kind of person you are now? I think high school, I think there are, I mean, everything is accumulated. Who you are now is an accumulation of all the experiences that you've had. And I think some of them are, some of them linger and need to be worked through a little bit more in adulthood, but like ultimately, yeah, it's the first place that you begin to take shape, I think. And maybe it's a place you want to

depart from when you become older or maybe there's things that like if you have a friend like like Teresa or Adam has friends that are in there like it's really beautiful to have someone who can who has witnessed your whole thing and to have a friend that's 30 years in the making what a beautiful privilege that you have anyone in your life from that time so that you can share to be like oh my god remember when we were like boom well Rose I wish I would have been your friend in high school I

I would have pushed you on your swing, but you graduated in 1995 or something, right? Mm-hmm. I was 1980. Anyway, that's all the time we have, Rose Cousins. Thank you. Look after yourselves out there, everybody. Thank you, Adam. I will see you next time. Toodaloo. You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go.

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