Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Hello, good day. Welcome to the Jan Arden Podcast. I'm here with Caitlin Green, Sarah Burke. I am in Springbank, Alberta, there in their respective homes in Toronto, and we are on episode four of the new and improved Jan Arden Podcast being featured as
As always, going forward on the Women in Media Podcast Network. Sarah's always very discouraged with how I say it because I feel like I take little breaks in between. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Caitlin. Sorry, you say it how you want to say it. Now available on the Women in Media Podcast Network. Okay, thank you. See, Caitlin I would hire for the VO. Well, she's a radio person. No, you know what? I will say that the last like three, four weeks...
My network has kind of been under wraps, but today, the day this episode comes out, the Women in Media Podcast Network is like alive and well.
Eight new creators, including yourself. Let's friggin' go. It's unwrapped as of today. How do you feel about that? You've been working on this for a while. Oh my God. I don't think I've even processed it yet, to be honest. The fact that you are part of it, I am blown away by. So thank you again for that. Well, of course. And so it should be. And Caitlin, you know, to have you as part of this, like, I'm so happy we get to keep working together. But you know what? I'm so happy.
I've been thinking a lot about what people put on the line when they podcast. You put your whole self on the line. It's your full personality. And to do that takes a lot of courage. So to any podcaster out there, including you two, kudos. Well, I laughed last week a lot at the pot and the edibles. And I always listen every week. I want people to know that because I always want to make improvements. Like how many times do I interrupt people? And do I sound like a lunatic? And
Anyway, I do. I listen and I was laughing at you too. Taxi was cubist. The guy coming towards me was a cube. I just was like, oh my God. And I had so many people reach out to me to talk about their experiences of being high. If you didn't listen last week, we somehow stumbled onto...
just edible experiences because you don't really know what the doses are. You know, you don't always understand it, whether it's micro dosing mushrooms that turns out to not quite be the micro that you thought it would be. It was more like a macro. Anyway, we have lots to cover today. And Caitlin brought us such a great story about, and I want to start off with Rihanna because I just thought it was so interesting and walk us through her corporate job, Caitlin, and where it was and
And how much money she got and all of that stuff. It's so interesting. So Rihanna gets paid reportedly, like the public figure was $6 million. I had an insider tell me that it was actually $8 million to perform at the pre-wedding celebration. So not even the full wedding, at the pre-wedding celebration for the richest man in India.
And it's his son, I should say. So it's his son. He's throwing this big lavish party and Rihanna comes to perform. This same man had previously hired Beyonce to do a private performance and paid her similarly. So this is a man who wants the biggest and best names in entertainment to come and perform for him and his family and friends.
So she goes, because this is the first time we've seen her perform since the Super Bowl, really, it becomes international news. It's this whole event. And someone with the world's greatest zoom on their phone managed to get footage of her because I guess they had positioned themselves somewhere in a nearby building, apartment building or another building. And it looks like their front row. And then they zoom out and they're probably five kilometers away.
It's scary. It is scary that the technology available. So did she was it a whole blown production like lights? Okay, so she had backup dancers, lights, smoke, all that stuff, minimal, you know, for the the cash payment she received, but also for private performance, like still pretty good. She's on stage. I think they would be paying for production, Caitlin.
I think that would be on top of. They have money, you know, like they can afford to put on a big show. So some people were kind of roasting the lack of those things. But I was like, yeah, it's still pretty good, honestly. Yeah.
And she gets paid between six and eight million dollars. And then there's always some debate about any woman in media at different points in their career about whether or not she was pregnant again. Mind you, though, this is a woman who recently, like fairly recently, as in like within the last three years, had two kids. Is it because she had a little bit of a tummy? Like, is this the whole thing again? Jesus.
Yeah, a little bit of a tummy and a little bit of, you know, covering of the stomach in certain instances when she was doing press and photos, which some people viewed as intentional. I don't know. Who the heck knows? I saw the dress she was in. It was like this beautiful red, full-length, body-hugging dress. Mm-hmm.
I mean, if I wore a dress like that, I would look like a Spolumbo sausage. Spolumbo's feel free to sponsor us. No, no, we don't accept meat. But anyway, I, I thought she looked amazing. But the first thing that popped into my head with her little tummy was,
People are going to think she's pregnant. And it's so sad that I'm even thinking that she's going to have to endure that. And who cares if she is? Is or isn't, who knows? I mean, not a woman who is shy to a public announcement via performance, a la the Super Bowl for pregnancies. That's how it was announced with her last pregnancy. So I don't know. Who knows? Kind of who cares? Like she already has two kids. If she has three, fabulous. And she performed 19 songs. 19 songs. That's great.
And some people were criticizing saying, you know, she's not a big dancer. She's never been. She's not a big choreographed dancer. Sure. You know, I saw her in concert, I think when she was doing more dancing and it was a lot more on stage and she used to have the big walkway that would float through the sky at her concerts and she'd be standing on it. But Rihanna has been a performer who really does a pronounced walkway.
walk like she's more of a walker she kind of dominates a walk strut a strut exactly you see her at the Victoria's Secret fashion show like that's her thing so you know it's not Dua Lipa it's not Beyonce it doesn't necessarily have to be but some people were kind of like oh I thought she put in a lackluster performance I was like she did 19 songs she was at a wedding at a corporate yeah if you perform jam like 19 songs that's like a full show people are lucky if I bend over have you ever done a wedding
Oh, I've done a few weddings. I've done, I do a lot of corporate work in the course of a year that's not on the radar. And thank God there's no one with a telephoto lens five blocks away. But yeah, I've done a couple of wedding receptions. I actually, my band played at my little brother's first wedding and it was great. We just, that was just my wedding gift to him. It was at the Banff Springs Hotel and I really enjoyed that.
The second wedding, I just sent him a card. So that was that. But yeah, corporate jobs are really interesting. Normally, they would be under the radar. And because this was such a public thing for Rihanna, obviously, she's one of the biggest stars in the world. But
Everybody from Michael Bublé to any musical act would do corporate work and there would be a lot of money involved. It's just sort of augmenting your touring schedule throughout the year. Rihanna may do other things. I don't know. She might show up and do two songs somewhere for like $2 million, like a plug and play where you basically just show up and sing. I'd be curious. I'm going to do a little digging to see if I can find out
who's been doing what lately, but it was interesting to see her do that. I like doing them. I've done them for fire conventions, pharmaceutical companies. I've done them for everything you can imagine under the sun. And I don't feel bad about it. It's something that, you know, when you spend 30 years curating a career and you can go in and make that kind of money, I'm not going to say no to it.
Sometimes I do say no. It's just like it doesn't work in the schedule, but they're fun. And usually people are incredibly nice. They're very happy that you're there. And half of the corporate stuff that I do is fundraising stuff. I would say at least 50, 50, 60% is always raising money for somebody. So-
That can be a good thing. But I'm just curious, Caitlin, you said that he had Beyonce at another function that he did? Yeah, I almost want to say it was for another wedding. I don't know if it was another child of his because like this was his son's pre-wedding party. I'm not sure if this was another child's actual reception, but it's the richest man in India and he's...
He likes to get those big names. Like it's a bit of a feather in his cap, I think. And when you see her being picked up, she's driven around by golf carts. She's given this five-star treatment. And afterwards, she's doing photo ops with people and she's having fun. And she looked like she really enjoyed herself. Honestly, she did. It's a very celebratory thing. And you have absolutely no pressure. You're there. Tell us about the insider though, Caitlin.
Okay. So it was an insider. It was Chris Brown. No, God, no. If he was in my DMs, I'd be like, get out of here. No, it was someone who has family connections and like some wealthy family connections in India. And so this was the rumor. And I have another, I have two other pieces of inside info on the Kate Middleton thing when we discuss that. Let's go into that. The Rihanna thing is good. I think we've given her enough light to
Good for you, Rihanna. But do you agree that 19 songs, like who's saying like 19 songs is a lot. And I feel like people saying it was lazy. I just thought, you know what? Jan's going to know because that to me seems like a lot, but I'm just a regular old person. I would say I'm between 12 and 17 songs on a corporate job. Okay. The last one I did was in, it was such a hot day. They flew us down to Cancun. I believe it was a, an insurance company.
And we went in a day early. The stage was outside. We did a trio. So it was Graham, my guitar player, Darcy, my keyboard player, and myself. And we were just soaking wet. Water was just pouring down our back. People had such a great time. I think it was 400 people. And it was outside.
uh, in the evening, but it was 38, 39 degrees. I just was worried about how hideous I must've looked to have just sweat pouring down and, you know, you got to rock the pony. What does that mean? A ponytail. Oh, the pony. Well, anyway, what does that mean? Um, yeah, so we were happy to be there and it's, it's a long way to go when you think about it. Cause you literally fly in, you do your job and you fly home.
So it's not as glamorous as it sounds. And you think about Rihanna going all the way to India. I'm sure they flew her private. I'm sure that was part of the deal. So she would have, you know, made at least one stop to get there if she lives in Los Angeles. And moving of a human body, no matter how much luxury you're flown in, it's tiring. You're in different time zones. And I wonder if she took her kids. I really do. I wonder. I know I was thinking about that.
I don't know. They're still very young. Like I wouldn't be in a rush to take Will on that flight, even if I was Rihanna and was private. I would just be like, no, you can stay with the nanny if I was her. Well, it's so the Kate Middleton thing. Now, I don't know a lot about this. I know she had abdominal surgery last year and she said she was taking a break from royal duties. And but people are there's all kinds of weird theories and conspiracy, this and that. And how bad is her illness? And
Well, we just, why isn't it? I mean, that's probably the biggest stars you get to internationally. Kate Middleton definitely walked into Lady Diana territory. I mean, they've been a little less brutal with their photography and with chasing those kids around. I don't think it's as bad as it was with Lady Di, but people are stalking them all the time. Talk about telephoto lenses. So anyway, she made an appearance. Where the hell did she appear? Okay. Did.
Did she? Because the Internet really believes that this is a body double. Oh, not even joking. They think this is. So it's someone was photographed in the car with Kate Middleton's mom. Kate Middleton's mom is behind the wheel. And then the headlines are all this is the first time that she's been seen in public since her abdominal surgery.
The photo was weirdly grainy. I'm just going to call it like it is. It was like they added an Instagram filter from the year 2010. Well, look at AI now. I mean, could they not have done a better job? Like this was weird. It was a weirdly poor quality image.
And the person... Look at... Maybe she looks a little different because she's been doing something... Maybe she's not... I don't know. Doing her regular routines. And so maybe she looks a bit different. Maybe her hair is not as coiffed. Who the heck knows? But she was missing a mole. And so...
Holy. No, the like, honestly, the tabloids found this out. They were like, Twitter is all over this. They have zoomed in on where she used to have a mole and there's no mole and they added graininess. And again, I think I've spoken to this on the podcast before. The paparazzi company that grabbed the photos is called Backgrid. And they're a paparazzi photography company that is known for working together with people to stage photo ops, real life photo ops.
And they don't always stage them, but they do a lot of staged ops. And so this was supposed to be this candid moment of Kate in the car with her mom. Oh, I like how you had the British accent there. Kate in the car with her mother driving with her mom. Oh, where's she going? Going to get crumpets. Oh, she's nothing, nothing to see here. And it was very like a nothing to see here moment because there's been so much narrative about where the heck is she.
And so some people didn't think it was her. So what did she have done? It was an abdominal surgery. So there's a lot of like hysterectomy stuff going on. May I just say that my mother had a hysterectomy almost 50 years ago and she was 36 or 37. She said, I was out mowing the lawn two days later. So listen, Kate Middleton, if you have had a hysterectomy, girl, you are not as tough as my Alberta, Northern Alberta born mother. So abdominal surgery, what...
Could possibly take three months of getting over that. Like, why would you need three months out of, can someone explain that to me? Does anyone know what the surgery was? Not that it's any of our business. No one has an official confirmation on the surgery beyond like no official line, right? No party line, no Buckingham Palace quote about it. Other than that, it was abdominal surgery and that she was in the hospital for 14 days.
That's a really long time. This is a woman who came out and did the photo op right after giving birth. This is... Yeah, that's not a hysterectomy. Yeah. So to me, this is something else. Now, again, I have two conflicting insider reports that came to me via... I love her insider report. She's got people everywhere, ladies and gentlemen. Look out. I know. Okay.
Okay, one is very well connected in the UK directly, specifically knows surgeons, knows very well connected wealthy people in the UK and said, we have confirmation that Kate Middleton had diastasis surgery. If you want to post that on Instagram was the direct quote. Diastasis is...
Diastasis recti is when you've carried usually like a lot of children or had a lot of C-sections. And so your abdominal wall starts to kind of like float away from your stomach. It's almost like you can like put your hand up behind it. Mine does that. So you would have surgery to almost like reattach it. Yeah, I need that. To tighten it, right? I need that. So...
And I have girlfriends who've had it and it's been successful. I haven't known them to need three months, but like everyone's that's the, it's your body. It's your personal medical stuff. Like who the hell knows, right? There is no, there is no hard and fast rule for every single person and what they're going to experience. The other report I got, which was a much bigger bummer was from a friend who works in entertainment in LA and said that they had
to a very reputable news outlet that said she had had a mental health issue and that she was receiving help at a treatment facility, like a mental health facility. Can you blame her? Exactly. On an inpatient basis and would be staying there for a while to recover. Again, this is not like, you know, we're not imagining like one flew over the cuckoo's nest or anything, but taking some time away from her public duties to work. Imagine that life. Of course. Imagine the life of someone who...
who is scrutinized every moment of every day. I take so much joy in throwing on some shit clothes.
and my sunglasses and wandering through Costco or going and run errands. I ran errands all day yesterday. I just, I'm in my glory. And once in a while people say hi and I say hi back. Oh, are you in a disguise today? I'm like, oh God, no, this is not a disguise at all. So I really do feel for super famous people that aren't famous by choice. You could have the argument like she knew what she was getting into when she met Prince William. And I don't think
anyone really understands what they're getting into with royalty. And royalty is so weird as it is anyway. They don't,
really serve anything constitutionally as far as, you know, passing laws. But yet, you know, I know for a fact in Britain, my dear friend Nigel, he's like, the bloody money that the royalty brings in, it's all the tourism. He says, bloody 90% of our tourism is because of royalty. I'm going to stop doing that English accent. But you know, that's a lot. It's billions of dollars that
go into the infrastructure from everything under the sun because of these people. But there is a price to pay for their so-called easy lives. I feel for her. I hope that was her in the car. I hope that isn't true, like that one. This is very much just conjecture, right? So it's the same way. Yeah, the mental health stuff. Yeah. But on both sides, there is no ultimate way of confirming either of those things.
But overall, it was like, yeah, if she wanted to take a break for her mental health, who the heck could blame her? There's been so much drama happening in the royal family. Now Prince Charles has this sort of
cancerous issue. He's been diagnosed with some form of cancer. They haven't told us necessarily what it is. And then all these royal experts have said that he had previously gone on the record several times about kind of questioning traditional medicine. So some people believe that he might be one of those people who decides not to undergo chemotherapy necessarily.
So there's a lot of concerns. And there are other figures who are sort of secondary and tertiary within the royal family. I just think the queen passed away. There's a massive rift with Harry and his brother and with Harry and his father. And that ultimately, when you see this sort of like fragmented real people problems of the royal family, it's like the one thing that kind of makes them relatable. I was just going to say.
everybody on the planet has a family. This is a typical family stuff of so-and-so's got cancer and they're going through this and they're not going to really do the treatment and he doesn't like doctors and Phil's not talking to Jeff and I'm not going to that thing. You know, this is, this is just normal people. So, you know, when we idolize these people and we put them on these pedestals, it's so false. Like I've met my share of famous people in my life and well-known people and
And, uh, I'll tell you if anything, it's incredibly disappointing because a lot of times they don't rise to the standard of, you know, friendliness and respect and, you know, all those things. Your experience might be different, Caitlin. I don't know, Sarah, if you've met like these super famous people, like in, in your guys' media jobs and your guys' is a word, you can look it up if you want to.
But, but then you, you know, you see guys like Rod Stewart who have been literally famous for 55 or 60 years and they are so nice. But like I've heard nightmare stories about Elton John, just nightmare stories.
He doesn't go out at all anymore. He can't go anywhere. He can't go to, to target. He can't do. So he's, he's this guy that shops nonstop. He shops constantly. They'll shut places down for him and stuff. I don't know why I'm wandering into that, but I'm just saying with Kate, I really feel for her and she seems nothing but dignified and
And she always tries to put herself together. I think she starves herself, you know, personally. She's always so thin. If that's her natural state, well, that's what 800 calories a day looks like, folks. And I don't care. If doctors want to call in and call me out on that. You're putting your finger in your ear and I want to know why, Sarah. Are we taking a break? Well, we can take a break, perhaps for...
A voice note from Laura, who, because you brought Nigel up, she actually sent us in a voice note saying that she wanted to know how you and Nigel
met. Hi Jan, Caitlin and Sarah. Just listened to your When in Doubt Deferred a Donna podcast and Donna is amazing. She was wonderful as Rhonda on the show and it is definitely worth it to have her on the podcast to hear some of her stories because I never laughed so hard when you were talking about her just now.
On that note, I would really be interested in hearing about your origin story with Nigel. He has been a part of your life for a while now, obviously, and I don't know how you met him. Thanks for the wonderful podcast. Most enjoyable every week. Thanks, your friend, Laura. Caitlin, if I talked about this before, I feel like I have, but you know what, Laura?
This voice note deserves all our attention. And as soon as we get t-shirts, we're going to send you one. So, you know, we're trying to encourage you people to voice note.
I played at Shepard's Bush in London. So listen, this is all tied together, ladies and gentlemen. I was playing in London and it was 1992, 93. And we were doing a gig in this club and I think Nigel was out on the prowl. I don't know if he's with his present husband now, but he thought, oh, let's go and have a drink. Let's go have a G and T. And they went into Shepard's Bush and there was little Canadian singer, Jan Arden, singing away and he quite liked it.
I didn't expect to like it, but I quite liked it. So he has worked in publishing his whole life. When he got back to the office that following week, he looked me up, not on the internet. I'm sure we didn't even have the fricking internet yet, but he found an address for my management company. He sent me a box full of books. Thank you so much. I read somewhere that you loved reading. And this is some of the titles from Simon and Schuster, which he was with at the time. And
And I was like so blown away. I got this huge box of books. And so I sent him a card to thank him for thanking me. Then he sent me a card thanking me for thanking him for thanking me. And then a couple years later, I think like 18 months later, he says, I'm going to be in Banff at the television festival at the Banff School of Fine Arts.
are you anywhere near there? I said, yeah, I'll give you some references. His references were Jackie Collins and like some other ridiculous famous person. And I'm like, I'm not phoning Jackie. Oh, she'd love it. Just give her a ring. Just she'll vouch for me. Like references to know that he's a normal person. You don't send Jackie Collins when you're trying to get someone to vouch for you that you're normal. So I picked him up. He dropped his rental car off
And I picked him up. He got in the car. It was like I'd known him for a million years. I love this. And he came to my house where I was living at the time and we drank so much wine and we chatted and I made him like a lovely dinner. And then we had a really weird snowstorm. It was in April and we got like two feet of snow and I had to call my friend Janine to hire a four-wheel drive giant truck to get him to the airport. Wow.
Anyway, we've been fast friends. Yeah. So thank you, Laura. Thank you for that. And we are going to take a break. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. I'm here with Caitlin Green, Sarah Burke. We'll be right back. Don't go away. We'll be here when you come back.
We are so excited to welcome another new sponsor, our friends at Cove Soda. Have I pestered Cove enough to come and join us here at the Jan Arden podcast? I love them so much. They are Canadian, first of all. They are a natural, certified organic, zero sugar soda, which includes, get this, one big
Billion probiotics. I kind of sounded like Dr. Evil there, didn't I? But seriously, you can get 80% of your daily vitamin C in just one can. Cove Soda is on a mission to promote gut health for all, and you still get to have a delicious treat
while putting a gut-friendly, guilt-free drink in your body. Cove Soda is available in 12 delicious flavors all over North America. So for our American friends, you can find it. They've got this fruity lineup that's fantastic. I drink those all the time. They've got the classic lineup if you like
A cola or a cream soda, root beer, yes indeedy. And they've got their limited edition summer flavor, which will take you right back to the second grade. You gotta try the ice pop one. Head to janardenpod.com to find out where the closest place to you is where you can go and buy Cove. Go right now!
So I know we're not quite done talking about famous people. And the only reason I'm going to ask you this one more, and we won't make it long, folks. I don't understand the Miley Cyrus, the whole Tish. Walk me through this. Because when I was reading the notes that you sent to me, I'm like, I have no fucking idea what she's talking about. And I like, I don't know.
And I like Miley Cyrus. I think she's a really nutty girl. I love her. Someone was having an affair. So have you guys heard the rumors for a while that basically there's been a rift in Miley's family? She didn't thank her dad. Her dad got married, remarried, and no one was at the wedding. And just that there's this division within the family. Billy Ray Cyrus got remarried? Yeah, Billy Ray Cyrus got remarried. And now her mom, Tish Cyrus, has also remarried. But the person that Tish...
her mom remarried is getting a lot of attention. It's an actor named Dominic Purcell or Purcell. I don't know if I think it's Purcell and he is, I believe in his fifties and he was dating her daughter, Noah Cyrus, or was like a friends with benefits situation for an extended period of time. Miley's sister.
Yeah, her younger sister, Noah. He was dating her before he married her mother? Yes. 24 years old, by the way. I just looked it up. They could be a royal family. They could be a royal family. They could be the monarchy. Honestly. And then Tish, her mom, starts something up with him after him and Noah don't see each other. And so they apparently haven't spoken since Dominic proposed to her. And
mom never invited daughter to the wedding. Like this is a trash. I just, I'm, I'm hearing banjos, strains of banjos coming over the hills with that. Call her daddy podcast. Do I have this wrong? Didn't Noah Cyrus and her mom recently go on together? Did they podcast is called call her daddy. Yeah. With Alex Cooper. Iconic. It was Brandy, not Noah. Oh yeah. Okay. I was going to say who's Brandy. Brandy's another Cyrus. How many, how many are there?
The country singer, Billy Ray Cyrus, adopted Tish's two children, Brandy, 36, Trace, 35. The couple then welcomed three more kids during their 30-year marriage, Miley, Brayson, and Noah. Miley, Brandy, Noah. There's a boy. I think he's like Braxton or something. Dickie and Freddie. What was his big song?
Don't tell my heart, my achy break. I, again, iconic. I interviewed him one time. You did not. I did. I interviewed him on the red carpet at the Canadian country music awards. I want to say like three, three or four years ago. He was like the last person to walk the carpet. Definitely a bit late. Definitely a bit out to lunch. I was going to say, was he on this planet? Cause in recent years when I've seen him interviewed, I'm like, okay, well,
Was he drunk? I don't know if I could confirm that, but he didn't seem sober. We can neither confirm nor deny. He was co-hosting the awards with Dallas Smith. Oh. Other country star. Yeah. Well, that family seems kind of like, I don't know about that. Anyway, moving on from the Cyrus's. Like, it just feels like you shouldn't date your daughter's ex. I feel like that's a good rule of thumb. I don't think I'm being, you know, hyperbolic here when I say maybe avoid your children's exes. Just...
as a general rule.
You know, this is, I take a breath just because on some level, I know it's laughable, but it makes me super sad. It makes me sad that people make such bad choices. And maybe I'm just interjecting judgment here, but you know, Dominic dating Tish's daughter. Okay. So that's all great and fine. That ends. And then you go over to the mother, like, does anybody have any morality anymore? Or kind of a true North where you kind of go,
you know, I really loved your daughter and I'm not getting involved with you. It just doesn't feel right to me. Like, where are the people that are making those kinds of
gallant, practical, moral decisions. Maybe the word moral just doesn't fit into any of this narrative, but I just find people incredibly disappointing when it comes to stuff like this. And you can't tell me you don't know better or that's just how our family is. It's just sort of a basic thing. What if they met at the mom's house? That's for sure how they met. That's the thing. Here's the daughter. Hi, meet my mom.
Mom, this is Dominic. It's one of those things where it's very Holly weird to me. It's just a strange place. And this family has been famous and famous adjacent in some capacity for so long that I just don't think the bounds of normalcy apply in the same way anymore. And I just feel I personally am so dead inside when it comes to pop culture news and gossip that I'm like never surprised by it. And I like I just view it as insane.
It's like soap opera stuff. It's a full soap opera. It really is. It's like it's The Young and the Restless. Anyway, it's disappointing. But like I said before about the monarchy and about, you know, like Caitlin, you were saying, this is pretty much they're showing themselves to be these normal families that have rifts and the brothers don't get along and this is happening. This is another...
this is a perfect example of that. I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of weirdo family relationships out there where, you know, the brother marries his brother's ex-wife. Well, you, you divorced her and she, we've always gotten along. So, you know, I married her. So then your uncle is your stepdad all of a sudden, like it is,
There's some mixed up stuff. If you have those stories, we need a voice note. I was just going to say that if you have crazy family dating drama, I do really want to hear about it. We'll just go by a pseudonym. You don't have to give us your real name. Yeah, tell us if you don't want your name used. We won't use it. Janardandpod.com, send us a voice note. We can also modulate your voice so that if you send us a voice note, it can sound like one of those, like, you know, the reports you used to get back on Dateline when someone was shrouded in darkness and they would be like,
Oh, I once dooted my dad's black... We'll just get Caitlin to voice it. It'll be perfect. We'll put a black box across your face, across your eyes, the black band. Well, listen, in happier news, I'm very excited. By the time you guys have listened to this, I will have seen Dune.
because that is my major thing. So last week, it's so funny that that was something that we were going to talk about today. But last week, I, with a couple of my friends, re-watched Dune at my house. Oh, yes. And I had it because I had the digital download from Cineplex. Because I think when I went to the movie, part of going to the movie, I got the digital download. And so I finally used it. Anyways, I loved it. And I actually understood it more the second time through. I was like,
Okay, that's why their eyes are glowing blue. Got it. It's the dust. And so I'm going to see part two, but apparently biggest blockbuster action since the heiress movie.
Oh my gosh. $81 million in opening weekend. That's huge. And you saw it. I saw it and I freaking love it. I loved the first one. I loved it so much. And I love the second one. It is now by far my favorite, kind of, I would say popcorn blockbuster franchise in recent memory. Like since the dark night, I don't feel that I've been this excited about a franchise and the fact that it's a Canadian director and I love all of his other work so much.
is really exciting to me. His name is Denny Villeneuve, if you're not familiar with him. Canadian guy. He's fantastic. And our Quebec directors are geniuses. And he did Arrival and Sicario, just so many great movies. And I was listening to him on a podcast discussing this film. And he just, he loves it so much. And he loves the books so much. I mean, this guy had storyboards for Dune when he was 12. Oh my God.
I love when you manifest things like that. In a creepier version of that, Katie, whatever her name is, manifest Tom Cruise.
Uh, remember that? Oh, I had posters of him in my bedroom when I was, when I was 10, I loved him and they ended up getting married and having Siri. That's a weird, creepy version of that. But when you do manifest things, when you have those childhood dreams and when you're so in love with the movies and, and obviously Dune in particular, he loved the book and, uh, the movie that had, what's his name? Kyle from years and years ago. I remember seeing that and it wasn't terrible. Yeah.
It was kind of a cool version of the movie. I'm surprised that all these years later they're doing it again. But I'm going to see that. I'm really excited. I'm going to get a large popcorn. Are you going to get the dune worm bucket? Are you going to get the worm bucket? Oh, it looks so weird. If they have that, I'll get it. Is it refillable? No. You put your hand in the sandworm's toothed mouth to get your popcorn out? Pretty much like dating. It looks like a butthole. So enjoy that. So what?
Like why vilify buttholes? Well, agreed. But I mean, if you have a butthole that looks like the sandworm in Dune, you might want to talk to your doctor. I'll just say that. You're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. You know what? Buttholes provide a very important service and they look weird because they've got to keep everything in. They've literally got to keep your guts in your body. That's
That's why they're pinched so tight. They're hard workers. They are. It's like the world's greatest scrunchie right there. You're sitting it on every day and it's just holding everything together. And I think they're very underestimated. They're not the most attractive things in the world, I will admit. And I've never seen my own. And that's something to be proud of. Interesting. What does that mean, Katie?
You never busted out the hand mirror and said, well, what's going on? Okay, good to know. All right. Nope. You heard it here first, folks. Jan's never seen her own butthole. Nope. I can just imagine. It's probably one of the better looking ones. I'm just saying. And listen, every time I go and get a pap smear, and I'm sorry that we're talking about this, but you guys probably don't have someone talking to you about, oh, I saw your show last time you were through town. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's a terrifying...
It's a terrifying thing. And I just, I lay there and I'm like, please don't talk to me. Please don't talk to me. Please don't. You should wear headphones. I don't know who I am. I'd also like to point out that our on-ramp to pap smears was the sand worms in Dune. Just to really tie it all in. We're an award-winning podcast, by the way. We are. We really have earned that award.
I will say that the sandworms in Dune are basically Ubers. They're used like Ubers for the Fremen, the free men who populate the land of Arrakis. And so I got out of the theater and thought to myself, getting around on a giant badass worm is way better than a car. I mean, I don't care how big your F-150 is. A sandworm is the coolest thing you can ever use as a mode of transportation. And I am
I'm really sad that we live on a planet where they are not my Uber. It's still early. Don't worry. So, so is the, is the main cast returning to us? We obviously have the wonderful, uh, her villain Chaz. No, I'm just kidding. I was like, is that a name? The small guy from, uh,
I'm sorry. Fantasy Island. Herve Villanchez was the small guy from Fantasy Island. Okay, okay, okay. I was thinking Timothee Chalamet, but Herve Villanchez sounded like a similar name. So we have Timothee Chalamet. Yeah, he's back. I hate to say disparaging things, but I really didn't like Wonka. Yeah, but don't you think I felt that he would... He was adorable. I didn't see it. I didn't see it. Me neither. But...
Go see it. Anyway, I do love him. He's very attractive. I loved him in Call Me By Your Name. Yes. He does remind me a little bit of a haunted Victorian doll, so I can kind of see him in Wonka. But he's quite good. I mean, he's commanding in a very thin, thin fish way. And he's tiny, isn't he? He is. You just see his little legs running around the desert and you're like, look at you go, Paul. Also, I just want to say that the lead character's name is just Paul.
Yeah. There's just like, it's just Paul. They didn't go with anything a little bit more. Everyone else has this like bad-ass crazy name and they're like, Oh, Paul. So anyways, Paul, he's good in it. Zendaya is wonderful. Um, that's his kind of like love interest. Florence Pugh has been added to the cast. Sarah Ferguson plays his mother, Florence Flo, Lady Flo is here. I do like Florence. She's great. I like them all. I'm looking forward to it. I'll report back next week. Javier Bardem. Oh man. Oh,
Oh, he's, oh yes, yes. Um, is it long? Is this the three hour extravaganza? Okay. This is so long. And again, as for parents out there, just know that it is two hours and 45 minutes. And now when you go to see something in the theater, you are cursed with the first 30 minutes of your theater experience being actual commercials and then trailers.
So really it's like, it's like three plus hours. So, um, just, you know, plan your care or your childcare accordingly or your night accordingly. Because if you go in for a 5.00 PM movie, as we did, you're not leaving until sometime after eight o'clock.
So just, yeah, it's good though. We're doing a matinee. Yeah. Go to a matinee. There are a few moments that I'll let you know, like whenever you see two people getting into a protracted conversation, which is limited because this guy, this director doesn't love dialogue, which I appreciate about him. But if you see them like sitting on a sand dune, staring off into the distance and just having a romantic chat, go to the bathroom, go pee. That's the time to go pee. Do not leave a minute of action. I love that. I love that we,
brings so much like great information to our listeners. The action sequences are so good. And so we're here for you listeners. We are. They should tell people when to go pee in movies. There's a website that does it. Apparently.
I really need that. Can we find it and put it in the show notes? Yeah, I'll find it. I'll find it. I think it's literally like when2p.com. I'm going to find it. When2p.com. I bet you that was a hard .comer to get. I bet you somebody had to fight for that. One more thing before you guys go, and this is fitting right in with everything, and it is the age-old idea of keeping secrets. Come here, Poppy. Come see mom. Come see mommy. Good boy.
Do you share everything with your partner? Now, Sarah, you and I are a little on the outside looking in, but we both have had very successful lengthy relationships where, you know, a new survey, well, Caitlin, please take this. I find this very hard to believe. 25% of respondents who were asked, do you share everything with your partner? Admit to keeping a secret from their partner.
Almost 70% of those people feel guilty about keeping that secret. So how do you feel about that? I think everyone has secrets. I think everyone should have secrets. I think you should have things that are yours that belong to nobody else. And when people try and get them from you, it's like stealing. I don't feel bad about keeping secrets from people. I don't give a shit.
No, it's not going to hurt them. If you're not concealing something that they should know about you or your relationship, then kind of who cares? Because when they tried to siphon off the categories for secrets in this study, they said the most common ones include things about past relationships. And I was like, that's really none of anyone's business. Like, I don't like... People will pry. You never told me about them.
You never told me how many, like the whole thing about how many partners have you had before you got to your significant other? I've always hated that. Like how many people have you slept with? I'm like, I don't know. And I really don't know. If you ask me that, if you truly ask me that as like an important question, then you're not right for me. That's
That's not a modern, fresh approach. And you will notice that like not only do like men ask you that if you're looking for a relationship with a man, romantically speaking, but I've been, you know, like bachelorette parties or girls nights where other girls ask other girls. And when they get, when they get the answer, they all pass judgment. And I've been at a table where that was happening and been like, I'm not telling you bitches anything. Based on them being, um,
Oh, you've slept with that many people? Oh my God. I've only slept with this many people. Shut up. Like, I'm like, this is the most boring topic of conversation anyways. You're missing out on all the best parts of talking about sex, by the way, and you're sticking with the numbers? Promiscuity isn't, isn't the most terrible thing in the world. You know, if, if you're doing something, um,
Like I wish I hadn't have been as promiscuous as I was, but having said that, I'm glad that I had experience and that I knew myself and I knew what I was all about. And I'm not going to like get into that, but I don't like that kind of judgment, especially women between women. Like what's the difference between three partners and 10 partners? Like seriously, especially if you're a 35 year old person.
really and truly from my full chest, who cares? It is so of all the stories and the emotions and the hilarity around sex, the fact that anyone's focusing on the numbers, you have made one of the most exciting topics to talk about. So, so boring. You are a charmless human being. If that occupies your mind truly from the depths of my soul, I mean that.
Jan is currently uploaded to our recording software at 69%. Just saying. Well, I did that on purpose.
Yeah, I just, it's just, it's not for me because you're right. It is fraught with judgment and things like when you really think about it, virginity is a social construct. Like that's not really even like a thing. It's just the first person you have sex with or the zero or the who, like it's just, it's all smoke and mirrors, everyone. Do whatever you want with whoever you want. You know what I have struggled with, with a secret is like when you, when you just really don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Yeah. That's been a hard one. Yeah. But there's also like things about yourself.
Personally, I don't know. I just think it's important that
that you treasure things about yourself and about things that you have done in your life that you do not have to give or share or present to other people. Often, you know, when you have a life event that you feel, tonight I need to present you with this thing that I did in 1991. And it's just, it's not...
It doesn't change anything, really. I very much believe in keeping things
Unless it's something that really tortures you and bothers you to the point where it's some kind of horrible thing that happened with a relative in the basement of a party. Like I'm not talking about things like that. Obviously, sometimes those things are much better shared. So please take this in the spirit in which it was spoken, which isn't things like that. Obviously, there are times to tell people things that have...
really affected your life adversely. So don't think we're talking about that. I'm talking about, oh, you frivolity for it's like, it's a little more frivolous than that. For sure. I will say that for me, my healthiest relationships, my current like marriage being one of them is that I could always say whatever.
Like I could be very honest and very authentically myself with those people. I do realize that the relationships where I was a bit more guarded, they, I never really felt that intimacy. I never felt that close to that person. I sort of went into the relationship and knew it wasn't going to be my forever thing. And that was fine. But I, I also am kind of a brutally honest person. So. Well, one of the postscripts on this topic was, did you ever discover something shocking about,
about an ex after you broke up with them. Do you have anything, Sarah? Like, have you ever had a... At the end of a couple relationships ago...
Um, this, this guy had been smoking cigarettes the entire time we were together and I had no idea. That was not on his breath. Like when you kiss somebody, I can tell a cigarette from four years ago. Well, here's the thing. He, he was using a lot of cannabis. So I assumed it was that, but he like admitted to me while we were breaking up that he had been putting, um, tobacco in his, and I was like,
I've been what in the house? What? So tell me why that bothered you. Cause he was smoking it in your house. Yeah. And the kissing part, like that's gross for me, even though, you know, I don't mind the cannabis as we know, but like cigarettes, I think is disgusting. Like it's like a trust. It's like, we've been together almost five years and you could not have mentioned that.
So was he adding, Nick, was he adding like tobacco to his joints? Bongs, joints, all those things. But he wasn't like buying darts. Like he wasn't like getting a pack of like DeLoreas. He was and he was hiding the pack. Oh, okay. Okay. It's the concealing. Yeah, it's the concealing. It's not that it impacted my life a lot, but it was like...
I don't like that you like, I'm also not the type of person that would like give you an ultimatum that I'm not going to be with you if you can't quit that. Cause we were working on many other things. Like we always wanted to better ourselves. Right.
So anyway, yeah. Interesting. People tend to hide stuff that they feel ashamed about, like they're ashamed of. And I think that's, that's where, you know, lots of stuff with substances comes into play or, or past relationships, you know, sexual relationships, whatever they are. If someone's feeling shame around something, it's such a powerful emotion that they get stuck in a fib about it. Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. Anyway. Well, a lot of times people want to use things against you too. Like when you, when you have,
like fights or arguments, there's those certain people that will bring up those things, those presentations that you, those gifts of yourself that you gave them four years ago. Oh yeah. When you told me about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I mean, that's the first thing that kind of gets thrown back at you. So people still tend to fight really dirty. I think that's what keeps me, um, out of relationships is that I'm so carefree and I have
And maybe it's just laziness on my part, but I just don't want to spend one second of my life being told what to do or trying to fit myself into somebody's life or fit them into my life. Like it gets to be very selfish. And at my age now,
I don't know if that will change, but that does worry me about the secret stuff. And I'm like, oh God, I just don't need it. I'm not saying that I won't change my mind at some point because things happen.
You meet people and all those things that you were paranoid about, all those things that you swore that you wouldn't make room in your closet. And I'm not doing this. It changes. And I realize that there's just, there's no never saying never. Listen, we have come to the end of our podcast rainbow for today. I love that. We've reached the bucket of coins, but as always, we, I think we have some viewer comments that,
and or viewer listener i say viewer now because we're on youtube i know you're right you can you can watch us on youtube we did have a listener ask us for our thoughts on oprah actually what it was a very loose i asked for some clarification uh i did not hear back yet as to what about oprah they just said that they've heard so many conflicting things they wanted to know what we thought about her maybe the ozempic that's what i was wondering about because she's been in the news a lot lately she's on ozempic she said that she added that to her health regime
And all she does now is put on very form fitted gowns and twirl around, but people get extremely proud of weight loss, which I totally understand. And I think if you can do something for yourself to make yourself feel better and to bring some joy to this world, you know, and, and,
go for it good for her she's struggled with her weight her whole life her whole life is it has been an issue everyone remembers the oprah blue jean issue when she came out on her show after doing those fucking shakes for i don't know if it was a year something ridiculous and of course she put it all back on soon as she started eating real food so anyway the hopes is that if
People go off Ozempic, which I would imagine you have to eventually know. I don't know. No, you can do it. You can do it. I'm not sure. It's just, we're all just such guinea pigs right now. You know, like I don't know what there's a timestamp on how long you're supposed to use for, use it for. Well, I think Oprah. Yeah. Any woman with power.
You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. I mean, I remember when Lahaina burnt down this past year and she and The Rock were trying to raise money and they got massacred because why don't you give the fucking money? You guys have got hundreds of millions of dollars. Shut up. Stop trying to get it from all of us. Just do it. And...
you know, obviously the spirit into which she was, she was donating money, but she was asking other people to also step up into that. So you cannot win. You cannot win. So I don't remember famous. Yeah. I've never met Oprah, but I think she's done more for, uh, you know, for people in the last 30 years than, than any other human being on the planet. Practically. She has, uh,
encourage people to read. She has, you know, the magazine telling people to live their best lives. And I don't know, I really like her. The stuff she's done for like child sexual abuse survivors and for like the safety of children and women is crazy. I remember watching her show every day at 4 PM when I would come home from school and she had a whole episode on how to try to reduce or, or what to do in the event of you being abducted that like stuck with me so much and
And it was the, one of the, she was one of the few people who took on these heavy sort of dark topics and handled them in a delicate way because she herself was a survivor. So, you know, I think that the natural inclination for so many people is to like deify someone who is representative of a collective good or tries to do, but you know, I'm sure people have negative experiences with her and some negative opinions about some of the things she's done. She's been famous for a long time, but I think overall she's done so much good. Like I was actually going to say for like, you know, what,
this episode comes out on International Women's Day. I think Oprah has opened a lot of doors for women. Oh, well, happy International Women's Day. Yeah. And we apologize because these episodes are sometimes pre-taped.
So absolutely. Well, always pre-tape. Just a couple of days. We don't trust ourselves lives, folk. We just don't trust ourselves. But it is International Women's Day. So I salute you guys because I'm really glad to be working with some incredible women. And, you know, you're stealing my line. Women in Media Podcast Network. Yes. The Women in Media Podcast Network.
Caitlin says it better than me. Both of you guys, though, like, let me just say, you know, Caitlin, even just thinking back to how you handled, you know, what's gone on with your former employer. I admire how you handled everything. I think, you know. Me too. Yeah.
Class, class act. Classy as fuck. That's exactly it. I try. And Jan, you know, we already talked about your decision that you made, but you know, again, I admire that too. Every day. No, seriously, it's great to do things with your friends. You know, stand up for the people that, you know, you believe in. It's as simple as that. You just stand up for the people you believe in and people you don't even believe in. God knows how many times I've stood up for people that I want to
Ram through a wall, but it's just like you need somebody to support you today. Anyway, we appreciate you listening. Make sure you subscribe because then we'll just show up in your inbox week after week and you can give us a review. It's five stars, but give us six. Just try. I dare you. Jan Arden Podcast, the Jan Arden Pod is on all the platforms, Twitter, X, Instagram, Facebook. We're on Facebook? Yes, we are. Mm-hmm.
And you can leave us notes. And where do they leave the voice notes? We're going to walk you through this week after week after week until you finally send us hundreds of them. We're getting some. People are catching on. So JanArdenPod.com, when you go to the website, there's a little microphone in the bottom corner. You click on it and you can leave your message right there. And it ends up in our inbox. We love that.
Instagram, you can send a DM with a voice note as well. That's easy. But just check out, we have a whole website now. You should check it out. And I feel like we might be sharing some merch teasers where maybe people get to- Yes, we're getting so close. Actually, by the end of today, folks, you guys stop listening. By the end of today, Margo's going to have some stuff for me. I did a whole photo shoot for this. We did a whole new photo shoot. Yes, I got showered. I love that.
Oh my gosh. In a form-fitting dress? I'm in a form-fitting dress. And you're going to think I'm pregnant for sure. Way to wrap it all up today. This is great. Okay. Happy International Women's Day from Jan's bandage dress. Happy International Women's Day. That's right. Look after yourselves. We will see you next week. Thanks for listening. And toodaloo.
This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.