Breaking Bread with Adriana Trigiani
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Hey every- Hey everyone! It's me, Drew Alfuallo, host of The Comment Section Show. Come join me and one of my iconic special guests every week on the show as we dive into the dreaded comment sections of our tagged videos and take down the most terrible men on the internet, period. Somehow they won't go away no matter what I do, no matter how incredibly awful and mean I am to them, but I don't mind doing this work. In fact, if I'm being honest, I think it's God's work.

So make sure y'all follow me on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts for new episodes every Wednesday. Well, hello there. Welcome to the Jan Arden podcast and show. I'm here with Sarah Burke. Caitlin Green is with her child who has hoof and mouth disease. No, not hoof and mouth. Hand and foot disease. The poor little kid. But listen, what a show we have for you today. I have...

so long admired my next guest. In fact, she and I share a mutual friend. You've heard me talk about Nigel many, many times over the years, the most wonderful Adriana Trigiani, bestselling author of over 20 books. They call her the queen of women's fiction, and she is indeed that. She has sold millions of books. Big Stone Gap is one that you'd remember

I mean, all her books have been massive hits, but Big Stone Gap, she directed and did a movie. It was a sensation. Whoopi Goldberg was in it. You Are What You Read is her podcast, and I was fortunate enough to be a guest on that podcast a few weeks ago. Adriana, thank you so much for being here today. You are a gift to this world. Well, Jan, that's how I feel about you. So you've raised the boat so much. I mean,

just conversing with you about life. You know, I think we both care about what's underneath. So that's why this is so interesting. Your accomplishments slay me. So I'm thrilled to be here and very honored. My Canadian sister to the north. Yes. Tell me about your love for writing. You have such a diverse background. I mean, writing, directing, playwright, producer, actor.

So many things, but you obviously found something intrinsically special in your heart that since 2000, the late 90s, 2000, you have written a bestselling novel pretty much every year. I mean, tell me about your work ethic and what spurs you on to create these stories and these characters. I love that question because

I get to look back and say, why did I do these things? And I did them because I cannot imagine living a life where I wasn't doing the thing I love every single day. It's sort of that simple.

I come from factory workers, seamstresses, shoemakers. My great-grandfather worked in a quarry. He was also a farmer. My great-grandfather that was a shoemaker also worked in an iron ore mine in northern Minnesota up by you. So we are the kind of people, we're the pick-step people. We do put one foot in front of the other and we just keep moving. Like people that write one book, I'm always like, I'm so envious of them because I want to write one where I say everything, you know, or one song, you know, and then that's it.

How do you choose a story? Like, for instance, The Shoemaker's Wife. I love that because it's about your ancestry. It's about... My grandparents. Yes, that your grandparents, you know, immigrating and coming and pursuing that dream. How do you sit down and go, I'm going to dedicate the next year of my life to creating and telling this story? Where do your ideas come from? Here's how I do it, is whatever I wrote the last time, I want to do something completely new and different. And I have something particular to say.

So I wrote this big epic, The Good Left Undone, that took place in Scotland and Italy and France. Oh, it was this monster. And it took me three or four years to just do the research and to write it. Whereas with my new one, The View from Lake Como, I thought, well, this will be a fast one.

But now this has turned into a three-year operation. It's a comedy and it's contemporary. But it's about a woman in a family. She's the put-upon sister. She's the one who moved in with the parents, takes care of them, takes care of the nieces and nephews. She's the...

the de facto mother, shall we say, in a family full of mothers. And when she decides to revolt, that's the book. I love that, the put-upon. Put-upon. You know who she is in your family. She's the one who stands at the stove at the holidays and grumbles, I'm the put-upon woman in this family. It's so interesting, the whole process of writing, and you talk about doing research. When you wrote, and I'm going to go way back, Big Stone Gap,

Yeah. That's your hometown. Right. And you went on to direct the movie, Big Stone Gap. You had a hand in every matter of that film. You had a hand in. How do you juggle all that? And how do you find the confidence, Adriana, to go, you know what? I can do this. You probably had some pushback. I don't know if there's like Hollywood guys that go, sorry, you can't direct this. We need a guy to come in and make this story sing. It's

Like you're navigating in a world with some really high powered people. Where do you find your confidence? Where do you find it? I think it helps if you were raised in a small town, you learned who you were. That kind of stuff doesn't cow me or scare me. It really doesn't. I'm trying to tell the story and I love actors and I also love

to make pictures. I love to make beauty. I like to tell a story. It matters to me. You know, I was so nosy when we were doing our podcast with you because I was in love with your sense of interior design. Well, an artist isn't just an artist in one area of her life. She's an artist in every area. And in fact, I have learned that

People that do this, if they don't have good taste, they don't last. They don't last because they got nothing to mine. People with bad taste, they're out. They might be hot and sexy for five minutes or they might be really well crafted in what they do. But if they don't have a sense of it throughout life,

They don't make it and they don't last. I have never heard anyone put it that way. It really makes me want to knock on people's doors of celebrities and go walk through their houses. That resonates. I really get that. That makes sense. I'm going to tell you something. We have a famous family in America now that they're famous for being famous, right? Yeah. I know who we're talking about.

Yeah, well, you know who we're talking about. They who will be unnamed. They have the worst houses I've ever seen. They look like hotel lobbies. Okay, so that means some decorator, some overly paid. And by the way, interior designers are my heart. I wrote a novel about them. But there's con artists.

that come through and make everything one color. How about those people that tell you to put your books in color groups? - Oh God, Jesus. - That's the worst idea I've ever heard. How do you find anything? How do you find anything? That's not serious to me, that's ridiculous. So good taste is something, it is fundamental in a person.

And by the way, I think if you have good taste and you're an artist and you decide you're in this for life, life plays out in a very wonderful way because you never feel used up. You don't feel discarded. You don't feel unseen or invisible. You feel present in the moment and you play to win. You play to win.

So it never grows old. I mean, Jen, you're a huge star, but you don't come off as one. Well, in my lifetime, in my work, I noticed that the bigger the star, the nicer the human being. Really? The nicer the human. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I'm not talking about this fake stuff. I'm talking about people who have a legitimate skill and talent.

Because when you have a legitimate skill and talent, you're always learning. So you're humble. You read those things off about me and I'm going, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a sentence I can't crack this morning. That's how my mind works. I think it also helps to be a middle child who people didn't really pay any attention to because that gave us the freedom. Also, we're girls. And let's face it.

I mean, I didn't make the system up. This is what the world is. The boys come first. And I've explained this to my daughter many times. Listen, the one thing you need to understand about men, and I love men. I'm married to one. I love them. The one thing you need to know about men is they want to win. Now you got it. They want to win? Oh, really? Go ahead. Underestimate me.

That's how I roll. You talk about middle children. I was a middle child. My older brother was so busy committing crimes, literally, and completely dragging my parents to the end of their wits. What a shame. He could have been Ian McEwen. He could have been one of those people. Poor thing. He just went into the wrong line of work. Yeah.

He did. He went into the wrong line of work. He was cracking safes. He should have been cracking sentences. Yes. I mean, your family's talented. How do I know it? Because I know the depths of your talent. So we aren't hatched from a chicken house. This stuff's in us. The DNA. So your criminal brother, all he's doing was try to entertain himself. Probably supremely gifted. He is a smart, smart man. You know, he's going to be 65 years old this year, but

I feel like someone like you probably raised yourself a little bit, a middle child also. Oh, I did not raise myself. Okay. Jan, hang on. Oh, no, no, no. Okay. I was raised in a very traditional Italian American. My father was the king. My mother, who had this great career as a librarian and invented the library at the University of Notre Dame in the architecture department, she gave it all up to have seven children.

We're talking about the 60s and 70s. I mean, we had dinner together every night. It was required. Six o'clock, we had to be at the table. My father didn't care if you were the captain of the football team. You were at that table. And he raised us in the 70s like it was 1812. Okay? So I always say this. I say this. You know, people always say to me, well, we were very, very traditional Roman Catholics. And I know my Canadian friends to the north, they know from whence I speak. Right.

But my parents were like on us. I mean, one night we were having a dinner party. We're sitting around. Somebody said, well, how did your parents talk to you about sex? I said, are you kidding me? I was 34. I had to come out and tell him I was straight. I

I had to tell them I was straight. They didn't even, I mean, are you kidding me? Yeah. So in my mind, I was always going, are they kidding? Are they kidding with this? Did they trust you? I don't know. I don't know. My father, when he was dying, said to me, I do not recommend this because my father was the bad cop and my mother was the good cop. So.

So she would be the maternal warm loving one and he would be the one we were freaking scared of. Yeah. Okay. And I always say, you know, people will ask me, geez, how do I get my kids to move out? I said, hit them. If you hit them, they'll leave. They

They can't wait to turn 18 and get the heck out. I mean, you know, yeah, I got hit, of course. But I really am against it. And I have a child and I, of course, didn't hit her. And I don't believe anybody should hit anybody. I think that's why there's still wars. But that's me. Yeah. I also don't believe in this nonsense where...

We go against the teachers and we go against the librarians and we think we know more than educators. I think that's cuckoo. I do think discipline is important, but you don't inculcate discipline without something to love.

That kid has to have something to love. You can't just beat up on that kid and rail on that kid and mold that kid in your image. You have to have something that you love, something, and then you're going to be okay. Let me ask you this, Adriana. Like, did you have heart to heart conversations with your mom? Because I, my mom said to me once I was about 16 years old and she said, I'll tell you right now, I am not your friend. I am your mother.

And it hurt my feelings at the time. I'm not your friend. I'm your mother. But it's like one of the most loving things she ever said to me. I said it to my kid. My mother did not say it to me because it did not need to be said. I think I've set up the family dynamic there. Traditional Roman Catholic, Italian. I used to say my mother cried so much into the spaghetti sauce, you didn't have to salt it. She'd go, but I love giving it all up to raise you, kid.

I mean, it's like that. And I'd go, Ma, I don't think that's happiness, but was it my life? So, I mean, everything that informed me from my parents about work was that find something you love to do, not because they said it, but because they were doing things that didn't make them happy.

I think that's such a typical story. I mean, my dad was in construction all his life and my mom was a dental assistant. But your parents must have been incredibly proud of you. What did they think of your writing? I don't know. You don't know? You know, when Big Stone Gap was a hit, you know, like News Cruise came down to the town. It was a massive hit. I didn't think so at the time, though. I was writing the next one. You see, that's me. I almost wish at this point in my life, Janet, I hope that you have enjoyed writing.

success. I like the slog more than I like the success. I don't know how to explain that. No, I get it. I feel like I get lazy when people go, oh, you're so great. Not really. Ain't that great? I mean, I do all right. I defend my work because I think I'm in a snobby industry. The book industry is just, you know. It's quite literary. Well, I want to say to them, are you kidding me? Really? Are you kidding me? Yeah. Come on now. Readers are readers.

We're all in the same boat. And by the way, we all read the classics, whether you consider the classics to be Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, or Jackie Collins.

We're all readers. I mean, so I rail against it, which is probably why I have a podcast, because I'm so interested in that, I think. I love your podcast. Oh, thank you so much. I think we got Jhumpa Lahiri coming on. But here's the thing I got to say about all of this. You are what you read. You really are. You are what you read. You are what you read. And if you love to read cookbooks, good.

Because I think food's one of the greatest things on the planet. You know, one of the great endeavors and it's most loving thing you can do for somebody is make them food, make them a delicious meal to eat properly presented. I mean, come on. So you don't know if they were proud of you or not. You don't know. Yeah, they were. Okay. I'm going to give you that answer. Can I tell you something? Yeah, please. Every time that somebody asked my parents about me, they'd go, you know, we have six other wonderful children who are just as talented.

They are just as smart. They are. And meanwhile, I say to myself, really? Because you didn't really treat me that way when I was coming up because I asked questions and that is frowned upon, frowned upon. The only thing that saved me in terms of the whole Catholicism thing was the Glen Marys in Southwest Virginia because they were hip. They were in the moment. They were missionaries. So we spent a lot of time in Protestant churches. We had one Jewish family. So we did Seder every year. I felt like that was like my world opening up in there.

Had I been, let's say, in a place where the Catholic Church was powerful, well, we had a priest in the family, my Monsignor priest in Italy, Don Andrea Spada, who was an editor of the Lecco di Bergo. He was a writer.

See, so it's in my family. Yeah. Nobody ever connected those things and wove them together. That's my job. That's your job. When you write a book, I'm going to weave all this together and give you a story. And I love that. It's all in there. Have you carried the torch of Catholicism, Adriana? Well, I'm Catholic. I'm like the last person in the world that says I am a Roman Catholic. Okay. It's both sides of my family. It goes back to the freaking Etruscans. There's nothing I can do about it. But I...

Take it. Let me tell you something. Don't think I'm a patsy and don't think I accept anything anybody ever told me. I don't. But here's what I love about the Catholic Church. Who? The breaking of the bread. Breaking of the bread. The breaking of the bread. Gathered every single service, every mass has the breaking of the bread. That's why I stay in it.

Because to me, that is the single most important lesson of Christianity. You come to the table.

Come to the table. That is spiritual. So I carry it into my life. When I have people over to dinner, to me, it's a spiritual coming together. If you and I go out to dinner, it's a spiritual coming together. The breaking of the bread, the breaking of the bread. Of course, you could get into the religious aspects of that, what it means.

Of course. But that's subjective too. And that's where people get so tangled up. What does it mean? Here's the meaning of this. This is the only true meaning. That's where we get hung up. Who knows? Just be kind. Be kind and be polite and be grateful, you know? And, and, and, and to me, that's,

That's the essence of everything. And that's the only reason to write a book, sing a song, put on a movie, anything is to bring people, connect them, connect, connect, connect, connect. Can you listen to music when you're working? No, that confuses me. I can't do that. Alif Shafak, I'm probably not saying her name properly, but she spoke about listening to heavy metal music when she was working on certain things. And I'm like,

Heavy metal music. Like, how does your brain even split that out? You know, Jan, I've been listening to you. And then I was thinking of my dad one day and I went, he would have loved you. I gave my dad, he played the piano like he was a prodigy, as my kid is, my kid plays. But my father, he could hear a song on the radio and go home and play it. And when he came home from the factory every day, he was wailing on that piano, wailing on it.

It was his escape. And it was good because then we knew where he was because the music was coming through. I tried to communicate with my father and connect through music with him. Okay.

So he'd say, what are you listening to? And I'd say, Natalie Cole. I liked when I was little, Al Green, the Shy Lights, all those people. Okay. Which I can hear in your music. Yeah, but I can hear it in your music. I hear that rich, full, emotional rendering in your music that I hear in that stuff. And I hear, even though it's different. Okay. Okay.

But I was listening to you and then I went, oh, I remembered that I gave my father the Linda Ronstadt album for Christmas with the Nelson Riddle Orchestra. So I am on a Jan Arden, Linda Ronstadt bender right now where I'm listening to both of you. But I only listen when I exercise and take my walk or I'm doing the dishes at night or I'm winding down. I can't do it when I'm working.

Because I think I am in your world then. I am not in my world. I am in your world and I am being uplifted in that world.

And so I don't mix my arts. I totally get it. I can't even hear a clock ticking. I'm just like, where's that sound? What's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with you. I can't do it. Do you get up first thing in the morning and start writing? Are you one of these people that's like, I work from 5 a.m. to 9 a.m. And do you work on a laptop computer or do you write with a pen and a paper? Is it the same? I wish people...

I wish I could show you this office. I don't know if you remember that movie, A Beautiful Mind, where that kookaloo guy had post-its everywhere. That's me. And God forbid anybody touch it. I'm also weirdly, this is so weird. I'm neat as a pin when I'm finished. But when I'm creating, I have to have everything at my fingertips. Like I have to pick up whatever I was reading. It has to be close to me.

I have to have a recipe printed out. I create chaos to make order. Oh, I love that. I love that. So my schedule is like this. Okay. And I'm going to tell you something because, you know, you know me, I ask people questions. So before she died, I asked Judith Krantz. I said, Judith, I want you to tell me everything.

I want you to give me all your wisdom. And I wrote everything down that she said. And the first thing she said to me was, do you work seven days a week or do you work sporadically? And I said, I'm a seven day a week or she said, so am I. Judith started writing novels. She was a journalist before that and a writer and essayist.

But when she was 50, she started writing novels like Princess Daisy. 50, folks, please listen to that. Please listen to what she just said. Five out. 50 years old. She could only be taught by my friend, Bonnie Garmis, who wrote Lessons in Chemistry when she was 64, two years ago. Okay? And it took her like 15 years to write it. Listen to that. If you're sitting there going, especially you women, it's not too late to start down any road. Oh, never, never, never. And-

The only business for women that we own lock, stock, and jingle taps is publishing. Okay? Because you could be any age when you write a book. It doesn't matter. You don't have to write 500 of them. Write one. Okay? But do it because we're the consumers of the books. That's why we own it.

We publish them. We write them. We edit them. We market them. We are serving ourselves. Of course, women being women take no credit, but I'm here to tell you the numbers will tell you. My friend, Rebecca Yaros, Colleen Hoover, you, me, whoever's in there, we're walking the walk here. And Rebecca Yaros has been at it a long time too. The fourth wing. Rebecca had, yeah, she was a genre writer. I'm reading those books right now. The Iron Flame. What?

Byron Flame, she's been working a long time and this has suddenly hit for her. That's right. And she's a young woman. I mean, she's in her 40s, which in the book business, you're a child in the book business when you're in your 40s. I mean, I remember doing an event with Mary Higgins Clark, may she rest in peace. And she was working into her 90s. I love that. Her penmanship was perfect. Well, here's the thing.

Why would anybody go into a business where they told you at 65 or 60, you have to leave? I would be so scheming. What am I going to do when I'm leaving this job?

I would be scheming. And I hope it's creative what you're going to do because you deserve it. You put your time in. But in books, there's no excuse. It doesn't matter. No one cares. Adriana has some great advice for any of you guys listening right now that have aspirations about being a writer or aspirations about changing careers or aspirations about, oh, my God, I'm too old to do this or that. You do not want to miss this.

We'll be right back with some great advice from Adriana Tricciani. We are so excited to welcome another new sponsor, our friends at Cove Soda. Have I pestered Cove enough to come and join us here at the Jan Arden Podcast? I love them so much. They are Canadian, first of all. They are a natural, certified organic, zero sugar soda, which includes, get this, one big

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So we were talking about the writing process. Tell us more about that. So I'm a seven day a weeker. Okay. I got to tinker at least seven days a week or full fledged. Now I have a book due and this book, it took me a long time to find it. My editor was very patient.

She's fantastic. My Aziv over there at Dutton at Penguin Random House, terrific lady. She didn't yell at me and berate me and say, this stinks. She just kept encouraging me. Come on, it's you. Well, now, not only does it not stink, I think it's fantastic, but I got it.

It took me time to get it. Sometimes it doesn't take me this long, but this took me a long time. And I'm not sorry about that. That's good. But I'm seven days a week. And here's what I recommend to people.

Start with a single step, which is to go to your Walmart or your Target or whatever you got up there in my beautiful Canadian. All of it. Just go in there and go to the sale aisle and get the prettiest notebook you can find. Then go over to the school supply aisle and get the pens that fit your hand. Okay. I don't allow anybody to touch my pens. And if somebody like this, let's say my husband pays an electric bill with my pen. I know it. Don't touch my pens.

So my family knows don't touch your pens and don't touch your paper and don't touch anything. Okay. So I want you to go get that. And then I want you to get, I am never working or talking without a candle lit. Be careful with them. Okay. But I have a scent for every book.

The candle scent for the book. Oh, yes. It's like a perfume. You know, like if I was a lover, right? If I was a lover, I'd have a different perfume or cologne for every man I'd be with, right? Yeah.

But I'm married, so I have one cologne. Okay. So with the candle, now I come in. I have a hot cup of coffee. I was just with my friend, Stephen Wright, the comedian who is talking about coffee. We talked about coffee for an hour because I have my coffee. Then I have this thing. Like sometimes I need a little pep and I'm sorry I used it. I can't find another one on my table, but it's called a skinny stick.

Okay. It's got something in it. I don't know. I think guarana. Yep. If you like herbs. Yeah. Completely legitimate and legal and the coffee. And then I'm in my thing. You're ready. My scent, everything. And then I'll go in and out, you know, I'll drink enough so that I get up and walk around, but I'm in my, I'm in the world.

I'm in the world of the people and I do not leave it. Listen, you have been so unbelievably generous and I'm going to leave it here because I think the advice that you've just given people, and even if folks that you don't plan on being a novelist or writing a memoir, I think the art and the act of writing things down about your life and about little things, whether you made fucking cabbage rolls or

That morning or, you know, your dog crapped on the satay, like whatever it is. I think it's really fun to look back at your life in your own handwriting. Can I say this to women? I don't mean interrupt. Please. The problem with my brain is like a sieve. And in two minutes, I'll be sitting here and you'll be like, why isn't Adriana talking? What's the matter with her? But I have to say this. Stop letting other people tell you who you are.

You've raised children. Maybe you've raised other people's children. Maybe you've taken care of your old parents. Maybe you've taken care of your young parents. Maybe you're the person in your family that people come to when they need $5. I don't know. There's a million ways to be the person in your family that finds their meaning through serving others. The put-upon. The put-upon. I want you to serve yourself, and you can do both and not feel guilty about it. The one thing I've learned...

Losing both of my parents is how much energy and anxiety went into making them happy and making them feel good their whole lives and making them feel needed and wanted and the leaders. And as much as I enjoyed that, it was wonderful. I miss them. I still cry sometimes, but I have a creative life that saves me.

And if it saves me, it will save you. Whoever's within the sound of our voices right now, Jan, who needs to hear that? There is no age. I don't want to hear that you're 74 and you just got your notebook. No one cares. I leave you with this. I met the great Frank McCourt who wrote Angela's Ashes. Yes, one of the best. I must always begin by saying completely charming and very flirty. I met him 20 years ago, maybe 22 years ago.

And we were at an event in Roanoke, Virginia. And so I got to talk to him. Angela's Ashes was the biggest book in the world at that time. He was a school teacher for 40 years. And he published that book when he was in his 70s. Okay, everybody. Now, to me, that will stand as one of the great books of all time.

But in this Irishman, you know, I love my Irishmen. I love them. They're moody, broody. I love them. In him was this great, great, great humor and largesse. But I saw his pain. He carried it around like a handbag. Yeah. And we talked about that. And we all have it. But do we carry it so that it's useful to us?

Or do we let the pain defeat us and make us not want to get out of bed in the morning? The creative life will give you, and everybody, it doesn't have to be books. It could be anything. Join your local theater. Believe me, they want to have somebody they can cast who hasn't used Botox. Believe me, they want somebody who wear a wig. Go do it.

Lock arms with people. Well, set design, making the flyers. Set design. Oh my gosh, making the flyers. How about seating the people? That's one of my favorite jobs is seating the people because it's all theater. Just get out in the world and be creative. Participate. Participate. If you can sing...

They're paying church choirs now. They want to lure people in. Whatever you love, Jan, you could tell them that. If you could play an instrument, you can find a way to use that in the community. Have fun. But books are always there for you. And I do think that the most important thing you can leave behind is not a car or money or a string of pearls, but your family story.

So in that notebook, start with that. And then you're going to see things emerge. And then you're going to go, oh, I get what those girls were talking about that day on the podcast. It starts to coalesce and become something. This has just been fantastic. There's so much advice. I'll be the first person listening to this when we have it out. Adriana Trujani. We're going to spread it across America. How about that? That is absolutely beautiful and brilliant. You are, to see someone monetize something

Passion, monetize love, monetize legacy and story and wisdom and learning from bad things, that good things come out of bad things. I love that about you. I love that about your writing. And I'll tell you what, my friend Nigel Stoneman, who is a mutual friend of you and I, has spoken about you for so many years in such high regard.

And I love Nigel so much. And he doesn't, there's very few people that get held in his golden hands with such love and such admiration. And you are one of those people. So thank you for taking time with us today. Thank you for the generosity that you've shown me.

And I can't wait to read every word that pours out of your heart. And I'll never forget the candles and the scent that each book has a scent. I just love that. Thank you for being with us today.

And I look forward to breaking bread with you. I can't wait, Jan. You know, they talk about old friends, but new friends. That's like the best too, isn't it? It's a fantastic thing to make new friends. It's, I'm embracing it. New friends. Thank you, Nigel. Yeah, it's better than Botox, folks. So there you go. It is. Look at us. We don't look half bad. Look at us. Look, I can hold water in my eyebrows. Who cares? Thank you, Adriana.

Thank you. Love you, Jan. Thank you, Sarah. Wow. That was absolutely incredible. I am going to be listening to this several times just to take in.

everything she said. She was just incredibly amazing, but she's an incredibly hard worker. I mean, you heard her seven days a week. Are you a seven dayer? Like, do you do a little bit of something every day for work? I feel like you are too. Yeah. I mean, I can be, there's certainly days that I don't get to it. For instance, with the Biddlemoors, I mean, there was months, five, six, seven, eight months that would go by. So that's why the process was 11, 12, 13 years.

But I was so determined. I'm like, this is ridiculous. Now I need to finish it. But I'm working on a new one and it's pretty much an everyday occurrence. And you know what? Even if I'm writing 500 words, like literally for 45 minutes, I do that. And some days are six hours. But I know that at hour five or six, the last few things, maybe they won't make the cut. Like I go back and kind of delete them. But, you know, she's got that work-life balance down, I think, though, too. Yeah.

I love the candle. I love that every book has a scent. Yeah. I was like, hope it's non-toxic because that's a lot of POCs. I don't even know what a POC is. I just started writing again. I've been trying to get back into it. Like when I first wake up in the morning, just like stream of consciousness and before bed and day three, we're going strong. Well, day three, I'm telling you what, I started writing in a journal on my 60th birthday.

And because my friend gave me a really beautiful vegan leather journal. First time in your life at 60 to journal? No, I had journaled a lot, but I, you know, I did it sporadically and I've always written stuff sort of on my blog, on Facebook. I'll put something on there, but I write every single night come rain or shine when I smashed my head open. Wow.

I still wrote just back from the hospital. I fell over using virtual reality goggles. It was very short. It was like one page, but I did take the time to write because I thought I'm not going to not write. Wow. Because when I read this or when somebody reads this, it gives a shit, you know, 100 years from now. Yeah. We did get some feedback from your reality, virtual reality fail. From your reality show, we got some feedback. So Donna wrote us.

Hello, Jan, Caitlin, and Sarah. Just a quick hello to say I love your banter on the podcast. The content is a perfect mix of insight and humor. You keep me company on my daily walks. I'm a devoted Jan fan and have often told anyone who'd listen that we would be amazing friends. Plus, I live just down the road. Anyway, I digress. She even sounds like you the way she talks.

Interestingly, my after-walk snack is an apple and nut butter. And I believe for years and years shared that my one CD to take to a desert island is Jan and the VSO. Vancouver Symphony Orchestra. My all-time favorite, beautiful music, hilarious stories. Love you, Jan. Please stay safe. I love you.

I know. I'm going to try it again, but I'm going to sit down and I'm probably going to do the canoeing. That sounds safer. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to sit down. I'm not going to not do it. It was absolutely my stupidity. And we've already warned people about that. But anyways, onward and upwards. Oprah's favorite thing. Can't be all that bad. I screwed up. I wasn't ready. The last time I cracked my head open. There's another time. Which was probably in the 80s. Well, I was drunk. Oh, no.

And I was running down a street, I think it was 16A Street, just off of 17th Avenue in Calgary. I was living in a room with a woman named Karen Ann James, who was so nice to let me stay there. I'm sure I let her down constantly because I was just such an idiot. But I remember running down the street in these little kiddie shoes, little red leather shoes, and I wiped out and smashed my head. Didn't go to the hospital, woke up with

you know, bloody pillowcase. And my head was like stuck to the pillowcase. I think I smashed, did I smash the back of my head? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. You've really improved. And I was also drunk in the 80s in Vancouver, like in 1986. I was drunk in a bathtub. I got up out of the bathtub. It was really, really hot water. And I kind of lost my balance, fainted and smashed my left

which I still have quite a scar. I've done that actually in the shower. I fainted. On the sink. And I literally stuck my finger in it to stop it from bleeding. So I stood there for a while looking in the mirror going, oh,

I, this isn't good. And I should have had stitches, but I didn't. I just held my finger over it for like an hour and a half lying in bed and then put band-aids on it. But my whole face was like black and blue. See, you've improved at falling. I think that's what you're saying. Well, at least I'm not, at least I wasn't drunk. Yes. So, yes.

So I want to, want to get an update on you if, if I may be so bold. How's the dating thing? Cause I know we talked, you know, earlier in the fall about the golfing, the, the, you know, the eight hour golfing date, which I think is excessive with someone you don't know. And where, where are we at now? Is this, are we still on the apps?

I haven't really logged into the apps. Okay. I still have them on my phone, but I haven't really been giving it the time of day.

I'm very focused right now on me and I do not have time for anyone's BS. That's how I feel for real. Okay. I like it. Well, Adriana. Yeah. Don't be the put upon. Yeah. You know, in your family and, you know, look out for yourself and do things for yourself. And I bet you dating takes a lot of energy. Like right now, you know, driving back and forth from London at the beginning of the week when I'm teaching, like I'm like, for me to want to like,

not reserve my energy would take a lot for me to like decide to go out with someone right now. So I'm just not interested right now. That's kind of the way it is. I'm not closed off. If I meet someone that like I get excited about, sure, I'll ask him out or whatever. You'll ask him out? I would. Yeah. I don't care. Cool. I like that. Yeah. I've asked people out before. I don't care. But yeah, I'm not really focused on it right now. That's all. I know that's kind of boring, but that's where I'm at. Now let me ask you this. Uh-huh. Would...

body odor stop you from going out with somebody who was otherwise successful, super good looking, funny, nice dresser. Where is this coming from? No, I'm just saying this, but he's stinky. There was one guy who I remember he went to the gym similar to me every day and he was always trying to get more and more protein. And

he always was eating tuna fish. I don't mind tuna fish, but it's a lot when the guy smells like tuna fish like every day. Yeah. We'll put it that way. Yeah. So I didn't love that. But otherwise, I've been lucky. Men who smell great. I love it. So yeah, no real problems. That would stop me. Where did that question come from? Did you have a stinky person? No, no. I'm just saying that things like that

would not that I've dated in forever, but I just, it would smells bad breath or BO. That would be, I could, there's no way I could get past that. I'm sorry. Or smoking. Couldn't do that. Don't think I could do like a drinker, like a bigger drinker. Yeah. You know, maybe someone that has one glass of champagne every year. And my list is getting longer. I know that's terrible. I'm just making up excuses. I know that I'm making excuses up. I'm probably going to meet, you know,

An alcoholic, one-eyed stranger. I wish Adriana was single for both of us. I think we'd rather date her than anyone else. She's fun. Yeah, she was fun. It's a confidence that is so steeped in knowledge. Do you know what I mean? It's so steeped in wisdom that it's not pompous or pretentious or...

or one of those people that's putting on airs, she is, she is she. And she knows who she likes, and she knows who she doesn't like. And she walks on. Like, I think she's a person that gets her work done, that doesn't need to be patted on the back. Like she said about her last book that she's just been working on the last three years. She goes, it's good. It is really good.

And she doesn't need her editor or anybody else telling her that. She knows. Let's get your vote on this. I wrote down some potential episode titles. Okay. Breaking Bread with Adriana, A Creative Life. Books are always there for you. Who cares about your age? What do you think? Oh my gosh, they're all good. I like Breaking Bread with Adriana Trigiani. Okay, that's where we're going to leave it then. And we will have all of her links to her podcast, all her books in the show notes, everything.

There are going to be long show notes. There's a lot of books. There's a lot of accomplishments and a lot of things she's done. But like one of the headlines in her Wikipedia says, Adriana has put out an award-winning, best-selling book once a year for the last 20 years. But anyway, she comes by it honestly, and she works hard. She's just not waiting around for something magical to happen.

You know, a lot of people say, oh, I've been working on a book. Listen, finish your book. Take it from me. Finish your book. Finish your manuscript. Finish your short story. Finish your book of poetry. Adriana Trigiani, thank you for being with us today.

Thank you for staying home with your child, Caitlin Green. I'm sorry about his little predicament. Yes. Sarah Burke, as always, thank you for filling me in on your dating. I'll ask you again in a few weeks. We'll see if anything's changed, but you're going to let us know if you meet someone, right? Oh, of course. You would be the first gals I gab with about that. Oh, good. As a last little footnote, Dani Strong, who is one of the women that came with you this summer to my house and hung out for a few days, she popped in to visit me. I

I love this. On Friday. And we had a really nice visit. She's killing it. I love that. How do you, Dani Strong? Look up her music, Dani Strong, just the way it sounds. D-A-N-I, strong. Look it up. She's a great singer-songwriter. Go to janardenpod.com. Leave us a voicemail. Week after week, we're begging you. Leave us a voicemail. Ask us a question. Tell us your query. We can solve your problems. Well, maybe we can't, but we'll try. We'll see you next time. Toodaloo.

This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.