the lie of clothing overconsumption, i’m ranting again
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I remember being 12 years old and watching Hannah Montana and seeing her walk into her walk-in closet and pick out an outfit in a closet so filled to the brim with

with bags and shoes and purses and sparkly dresses galore, I wondered to myself how freeing it must be to have this many options. How freeing it must be to never think to oneself, oh, I wish I had a black sparkly sequined dress that cut off right at the knees. Hannah Montana never has to feel that feeling because she has one of everything in that closet of hers. I remember being 15 years

and watching fashion YouTubers pick out an outfit in their gorgeous walk-in closet and thinking to myself, if I just had a walk-in closet packed to the brim with clothing, only then would I finally be able to be the fashion girl that I've always wanted to be. And then I started making my own money when I was 16.

And one of the things I was most excited about when I first started making money was now I get to buy clothes. And I'd always wanted to have a lot of clothes. I'd grown up seeing people that I admire get dressed in the morning in a fucking packed closet. And so I decided to start thrifting because I was like, okay, I want to get as much of a bang for my buck as possible.

And so instead of going straight to Urban Outfitters, I was like, hold on, let me get into thrifting for a second here because yeah, it's a lot more work, but I'm going to be able to get a lot for my money. And so I got really into thrifting. And what was great about that was that I could go in and spend 40 bucks, which is like the same price as, you know, a cute top from Urban Outfitters. I'd come out with 20 things. It was kind of awesome.

So I started slowly but surely building my wardrobe. And I didn't just buy things from the thrift shop. I was also buying things from in Urban Outfitters, from a UNIF, from Nordstrom. Like, I don't know. I mean, I was peppering in nicer things as well. But for the most part, I was building my wardrobe from the thrift store. I was giving myself that feeling of options and

in the only way that I could at the time, which was through thrift shopping. Like I, I was definitely concerned with quantity.

Was I also concerned with quality? Yes. I wasn't just buying anything and everything from the thrift store. I was being choosy to an extent, but I was definitely very concerned with quantity. I wanted a lot of options because again, growing up, I equated options with being more fashionable. I believed that the more options I had, the more fashionable I'd be able to be.

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Also, really stepping outside of the box when it comes to fashion. I was buying a lot of clothes. It was almost like I had been suppressing this desire my entire life to have this closet filled with clothing. And now all of a sudden it's exploding and I just couldn't stop.

I was thrifting all the time, online shopping all the time, ordering stuff all the time. I was also in a major period of experimentation when it comes to fashion, because again, it was like the first time that I wasn't dressing to impress people at school. I was out of school, so I was dressing to just impress myself, I guess, and like the world's

around me. But I don't know, you feel more free to dress however you want when you're not in school anymore because the little micro trends that exist at your school are no longer relevant.

So you're kind of following the trends of the world once you leave school. And that is far more, I don't know, it's like it's far more free. So not only was I exploding and trying to create this feeling of a packed closet,

But also, I was excited about fashion in a brand new way because I wasn't sort of being slowed down by the trends of my school, you know? I was now in the real world and I could wear whatever I wanted because there's not really fitting, like it's, there's not this pressure to fit in in the real world as much. It still exists, but the rules aren't as obvious. Like there's the

thousands of ways to be cool and trendy in the real world, whereas there's like one or two within your school, right? Anyway, so I'm like throwing a bunch of shit at the wall, seeing what sticks because I was trying to figure out my personal style. So I was trying shit out. It may be not working. And then, you know, I was collecting a lot of clothes in my closet that

were sort of experiments, you know, like, oh, do I like this? Oh, no, I don't. Oh, fuck. Well, okay. I guess I'll just wait and see if it ever makes sense to wear it later. Like, I don't know. My teenage years were filled with a lot of clothing consumption and a lot of clothing experimentation. And this was a beautiful time. However, I did end up accumulating a lot of clothing, a lot.

And eventually I realized, okay, wait a minute. Hold on a minute. Wait, everyone hold their horses. This is not what I thought it was going to be.

I had this epiphany where I was like, oh my God, all I ever wanted was to have a closet packed full of clothes like Hannah Montana. That's all I ever wanted. Now I'm here and I have a closet packed full of clothes. And guess what I'm doing? I'm just wearing the same exact fucking outfit every day because it's too much work to go and dig through my closet every day to try to figure out an outfit and

I don't even know how to experiment in this closet because I don't even know what I have. And beyond that, there's a bunch of stuff peppered in in between things that I do like that I hate because they were only bought because they were an experiment for me that ended up failing. Like, I don't even know why I still have this thing. My closet turned into my worst nightmare.

I hated being in my closet. I honestly, like, hated picking out an outfit. I felt so overwhelmed by what I had that I was like, I don't even want to be creative with what's in my closet. I just want to put on what I know I like and get out of there as quickly as possible because being in my closet gives me horrible anxiety. And I realized that I had made a big mistake, you know? I was not being a responsible consumer. And...

I needed to scale it down and I needed to get rid of all the stuff that is no longer serving me, send that to a place where it can find a new home where it'll actually be appreciated and utilized. And I can actually hopefully start to utilize and enjoy the clothing that I do have. So

I really slimmed down my closet. I probably cut my belongings in half. And my closet went from being this packed, overfilled, honestly junkyard of like weird oversized $5 button downs that I got from the thrift store mixed with like things that I've gotten sent to me because having a career online means nothing.

receiving things from brands and stuff like that to try out. And I had all this stuff that I didn't end up maybe liking from a brand, but ended up in my closet anyway. I just had all this stuff that I wasn't wearing, wasn't utilizing, got rid of all of that and slimmed it down to just stuff that I do like and I actually will wear at some point, probably, maybe.

So my closet went from being overfilled and exploding to properly filled. Like, don't get me wrong. Closet was still full, but it wasn't exploding. And I felt a lot better. And that worked for a few years. I was like, okay, you know what? This is better. You know, I think everything in my closet is of quality and not when I say quality, I don't mean like materials. I mean, quality, meaning it's actually something I'm going to use.

it will add value to my wardrobe. And again, to me, quality doesn't mean how much I paid for it. It means whether or not I like it. That's really what it means. Because there were things in my closet that were, you know, maybe sort of nicer. And I was like, I don't really like this. I don't, I'm not going to wear it anymore. I'm getting rid of it. And then there were like, I don't know, $6 sweatshirts that I got from the thrift store that are my favorite sweatshirts.

I kept those. You know what I mean? So anyway, it's all about personal value. And I existed like that for a while. Like for the last few years, you know, I was kind of existing with a full closet, but not like an exploding closet. And that was working for me. But then a few months ago, or maybe even a year ago now, I don't remember, I realized that I still have too much shit.

I realized that that feeling of anxiety and overwhelm is better, but it's not gone. I still have that feeling. I also reflected on my shopping habits and realized that even though I'm better about periodically like donating stuff that I don't like anymore to make room for new stuff, I'm still consuming a decent amount of clothing. I'm shopping quite a bit.

I'm especially like buying vintage, like thrift shopping, buying vintage stuff, going to flea markets. Like I'm still doing that a lot and consuming a lot. And yes, it's not leading to this closet packed full of failed experiments like once before, because I understand myself a bit better now, but it's still overwhelming me. And I'm still gravitating towards like

10 pieces at a time and kind of ignoring the rest of my closet because I'm too overwhelmed by it. And so I started contemplating getting rid of everything and doing a uniform, basically just wearing the same fucking thing every single day. And there were a lot of pros and cons to that, you know, is like the pros of it were, and I made a whole episode about this. So if you want to listen to that, go listen to that. But to sort of summarize, the pros were number one,

It's one less thing I have to think about every day. There's now no pressure to wear a different outfit every day. It's like, I don't have any options. I have one outfit. But also, if I ever want to switch up my uniform, I can totally do that. I'll wear my uniform out until either it's ripping or, you know, whatever. And then I can either throw it out, I guess, if it's like so worn out that it's not usable anymore. Or I could donate it.

And I could create a new uniform, you know, maybe once a year, maybe even once every six months, like whatever. And that's totally fine. It's not like I have to wear the same exact uniform for the rest of my life. But for extended periods of time, I can just have a uniform. Maybe I have like four uniforms at once. Like there's a lot of different ways to do it, but it doesn't completely prevent you from having fun with fashion. It's just a different way of having fun with fashion. You know, you...

have one core outfit per year, let's say. And it's something that you can accessorize maybe a little bit.

But for the most part, it stays the same. And while you're wearing that uniform, you can be studying fashion and figuring out what you want your next uniform to be. So you're still having fun with fashion. You're still thinking about fashion. But instead of, you know, constantly buying new things, you're planning your next uniform. Also, like traveling is easier. You just throw your one outfit into the suitcase and

I mean, there were so many pros to having uniform, but there were also a lot of cons for me personally, because I do like experimenting with fashion and playing around and trying new things when I have the time to do so. And that's not really an option as much if I have a uniform.

You know, if I'm going to an event and I am renting an outfit, which is basically what I do, like when I go to a fashion show, when I go to a red carpet, I'm not buying those clothes.

Those clothes are being rented directly from the brand and I give everything back at the end. Same thing with like jewelry. When I go to an event or whatever, I will borrow the jewelry and then give it all back. Like I don't have a really expensive necklace, diamond necklace. Like I don't own that. I borrow that from the brands. And that's what most people do when they go to, you know, fashion shows or

you know, red carpet events or whatever. I doubt any public figures are like buying that stuff. For the most part, they're renting it, which I actually think is great. I love that model. I think it makes total sense. It's like, honestly, phenomenal and less wasteful. Like, I don't want to have to buy something that I'm only going to wear once to a red carpet. That sucks. You know, I'd so much rather just be able to rent something from the brand.

which is for the most part what happens. But anyway, I was like, okay, well, I guess I could save my experimentation for that. But you know, those types of events don't happen that frequently. So I was really torn on it. But this past weekend on Sunday, I decided I'm going to do it. I'm going to go into my closet and get rid of as much as I possibly can. Am I going to end up with five things? Maybe.

Am I going to end up with one of each color? Like, you know, like, I don't know. Like, I don't know what I'm going to end up with, but I just need to get in there and figure something out. So here's what I got rid of. And here's what I kept. Spoiler alert. I got rid of a lot more than I kept. I probably got rid of 90% of my closet.

Which kind of makes me feel sick, to be honest, because it's like I got rid of 90% of my closet, right? And that's not an exaggeration. 90%. Easily. I got rid of 90% of 50% of what I used to have. Does that make sense? Like,

I used to have so much fucking clothes that cutting it in half was still a fuck ton to the point where this time around when I got rid of 90%, I still have a decent amount of stuff left and I actually might go back in and get rid of more. I'm not sure.

It's wild how much clothes I had. So here's what I got rid of and here's what I kept. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. I've seen so many cool products that just don't have a good website. Honestly, they should be using Squarespace.

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One that some people wear year round or when they're just feeling uncomfortable. It's interesting. I look back at all of the romantic relationships I've had in the past and I have weirdly worn a mask in every single one of them. I think because I've always feared abandonment. You know, if I'm not perfect, if I'm not exactly what they want me to be, they'll leave me. And I don't think anyone really ever got to know me.

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Visit betterhelp.com slash anything today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash anything. Number one, I got rid of stuff that I haven't worn since I was a teenager. I definitely was holding on to a lot of stuff that was me as a teenager. You know, I liked brighter colors. I liked brighter patterns. And

In fact, like that was a big part of my style. Like I really liked bright colors and like rich retro colors that were really bright and exciting. I really liked statement pieces like...

really loud statement pieces with like crazy designs on them and stuff. I loved that. And I had a lot of that. And I held on to it because I was like, oh, you know, even though I don't wear this anymore as much, I do still appreciate it. But it was no longer me, right? I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm still young, but...

My style is maturing a lot. And to be honest, I'm not going to wear that again. And weirdly enough, too, like, I don't want to be tempted to wear it again because I've matured out of that aesthetic and

And every once in a while, I'd like see something in my closet that was very much Emma as a teenager. And I'd be like, oh, I kind of want to wear it because it's like so cute. But then I'd end up wearing it and all day I'm like seeing myself in a reflection and feeling like, oh my God, I feel like a fucking teenager again. Like this is not who I am as an adult, you know? And so I got rid of all of that. Like now when you look in my closet, it's all me.

mature silhouettes, you know, like more of a mature color palette. Like it's, there's almost no bright colors in there anymore because that's just not what I wear anymore. It's not because I'm like trying to be an adult. This isn't something that I'm doing because I feel like I need to conform to adulthood or something. It's just what I'm attracted to as my taste is maturing. That's really what it is. It's not a toxic negative thing at all. I think it's very,

healthy actually it's me being like you know what I don't like the way you know bright crazy colors look on me I also don't like the way that I feel about those types of colors and patterns a year after buying those things like I end up getting sick of those things whereas neutral colors I never get sick of like I kept neutral colored sweaters that I've had for five six years that I literally like thrifted years ago that I still fucking wear because they're neutral you know what I mean

I also got rid of stuff that isn't comfortable. I had a lot of stuff that was either too tight, but like still cute if I could like button the fucking pants or like, you know, sweaters that were like cute, but itchy and,

Stuff that is wearable, technically, it's like I can get it on my body and it looks good when it's on, but it was uncomfortable. And so I never chose it. You know, I'm somebody that prioritizes comfort over all. That is my number one priority when it comes to fashion, honestly, at this point, unless I'm getting really dolled up for like an event or something. That's the only time I'll be uncomfortable.

Other than that, I don't want to be uncomfortable. There's no reason on a day-to-day basis. Why? Like even going out, you know, like, well, it helps. Like it depends on the mindset. Like when I'm really single and like in a dating era, like, oh my God, I need, I need to find a boy or something. Then I'm like, all right, fine. I'll be a bit more uncomfortable and like wear the tight pants. Like, which is arguably, I don't know. It's kind of a controversial thing. Like, is it, uh, maybe not wrong, but

Is it unfair to myself to dress in uncomfortable clothes that maybe might be more flattering or like hot, you know, like hot girl vibes? Is it in a way wrong to like cater to

the male gaze, if you will? I don't know. I think it depends. Like, I think for me, it used to be kind of fun. Like, was it rooted in the male gaze in a way? Being like, I'm going out. I want guys to think I'm hot, so I'm gonna wear a hot girl outfit. And that sometimes means uncomfortable clothes, like a tight pant or like a tight top or whatever. And

Is that wrong? I don't know. I don't know in terms of myself, because when I think about it, I'm like, it was kind of fun for me. And like, it wasn't that deep. It was more actually for me, because I think it gave me confidence. Like I was like, I feel like a hot girl. I feel like they think I'm a hot girl if I dress like this. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Well, regardless though, I'm done with doing that. So it doesn't really matter. I think I've grown out of it. Like I, I'm not really doing that anymore. Like I'm either going to be a hot girl in my comfy clothes or I'm just not going to be a hot girl and that's not the vibe that I'm going to be giving off. And that's okay with me too. I have no desire anymore to like be perceived as the hot girl, you know, like that.

I just, I'm exhausted by it and I just can't do it anymore. And it served a purpose for me at a certain point. And it was a fun way for me to express myself at a certain point. It did give me more confidence at a certain point. Anyway, I got rid of a lot of my hot girl clothes because I was like, I just don't like wearing this shit anymore. I'm not really like in that state of mind. I'm not in that place in my life where I'm like,

out fucking trying to like meet a husband. Like I'm just not in that phase of my life. So yeah, like I'm not on the market in that way. So it's like, I don't need that type of clothes, which again, I'm like saying it out loud and I'm like, is this fucked up? Like, is it fucked up that I ever,

had like clothes that I was wearing to go out to like attract guys. Like, is that bad? I don't know. Is that my fault? Is that a societal thing? Is it just how human beings work and it's inevitable? I don't know. And I don't even want to speak on it because obviously

All I know is that I used to do that. It worked for me. It gave me confidence, blah, blah, blah. But now I ultimately don't want to do that ever again. And so that's why I got rid of all of my uncomfortable hot girl clothes. But then also uncomfortable clothes in general, the itchy sweater, the shirt that's too tight around the armpit, the pants that they fit, but they're a little bit too tight. And when you're on your period, they really don't fit. Like all that stuff, it's gone. I also got rid of...

stuff that I bought and I thought I'd get around to wearing but never did. This is the most painful category of stuff that I got rid of where I was like, you know, I bought it thinking like this is something that I'm going to love and it never made its way into my rotation. Same thing with like stuff that brands have sent me that I, you know, maybe kept and was like, yeah, maybe I'll get around to wearing this and I never did.

all of that stuff. I kept like a few things like that where I was like, oh, fuck, I just forgot I even had this because I had too much shit. And then, you know, for the most part, I got rid of trendy stuff. Like I had a lot more trendy stuff than I thought I did. And my mentality was, you know,

this stuff is trendy and I sort of want to get rid of it now, but I might wear it a few more times. I'm really going to want to get rid of it in like six months. So you know what? I might as well just get rid of it now and like wear the stuff that I'm never going to want to get rid of. You know what I mean? Like why don't I just start only wearing that stuff now? I kept the stuff that I wear on like a weekly basis. You know, I have like this certain pair of green pants. They're like green vintage work pants that I got that I just wear every day. I kept...

I think five or six pairs of jeans, which is a lot of pairs of jeans, to be honest. But they're all different. Like I have a pair of black jeans, raw denim, dark wash, worn in, like a super worn in pair, a light wash pair, and then like a really light wash pair, like almost white.

Those are, that's like my six pairs of jeans. So they're all different. I mean, in my defense, but still it's like excessive. I get around to wearing all those pairs of jeans, you know, um, I kept one or two of each color of sweater, um,

Like I have two red sweaters, two white sweaters, one brown sweater, one gray sweater. Like I kept one of each color so that if I'm styling, whatever. And all of the ones I kept are ones that I wear not on a weekly basis because there's, again, too much cumulative stuff for me to wear all the stuff that I kept on a weekly basis. But it's at least stuff that I wear on a monthly basis. But the stuff that I wear on a weekly basis, like that pair of green pants,

I have this like black turtleneck sweater I wear so much. All of that was an automatic keep. And I'm honestly contemplating getting rid of all this stuff that I don't wear on a weekly basis and just keeping the weekly basis stuff. But I'm not quite there yet.

I got rid of 90% of my closet. Like, I'm just going to celebrate that. And the fact that like, I can look through all of my tank tops in the span of 30 seconds. Whereas it used to be like, oh my God, it would take me like three minutes to look through all my tank tops. It's ridiculous. It's too much. No one needs that much.

Everything that I have in my closet right now feels timeless, is something that I genuinely love and adore. And I think it's stuff that actually represents me as a person today. But also, I kept stuff that all matches each other. So everything in my closet matches, which is also really nice because it's not like a clunky experience to put together an outfit. Everything in my closet matches. You know, next time I go to pack for a trip, it's going to be so easy because everything goes together.

This experience was really hard. In fact, I don't think I would have like slimmed down my closet to this extent if I didn't bring in a second set of eyes. I brought in a loved one. Okay. I made them sit with me the entire day, like eight hours. Okay. I owe them a huge favor now because this was a huge favor that they did for me.

they're somebody who literally has only exactly what they need in their closet. They never, they like, if they don't wear something anymore, they get rid of it immediately. They have no sentimental feelings or emotions around their things. They just get rid of shit. They don't care. I made them sit with me in my closet and help me go through things. And they were like, you only get to have one of each type of jean. You only get to have maximum two per color of a sweater. Like they were giving me parameters and,

And they were being really, it was tough love. Like they had to like yell at me sometimes and be like, no, this, you can't, you don't wear that. You've never worn that. Like you can't get rid of it. It was very, it was an emotional day, but I'm so happy now that it was so worth it. And I learned so,

so much from this experience, but I didn't, like I had huge epiphanies only after it all ended. I didn't realize I'd have more epiphanies after it was over and everything was out of my closet, except for the stuff I actually care about. I didn't expect to have any epiphanies, but I had huge epiphanies. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank.

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The first thing I realized was, and this is something that I always knew, but it became very clear to me,

this time because I eliminated a lot of choices. There's not a lot of room for experimentation in my closet now. Like there definitely is, but not like Hannah Montana. You know what I'm saying? Where her closet is packed with a trillion different things. Like she has one of everything in her closet. I only have stuff that I wear on like a daily basis in my closet now.

I don't have stuff to experiment with as much. Everything, for the most part, is within my comfort zone, which to me used to be a bad thing. I was like, I want to have as many options as possible so that every day when I go in my closet to get dressed, I can put together anything, you know? But what I realized was that's not how it works.

That's not a realistic model. I used to think a full closet meant a more fashionable you. Now I know that I actually think it means the opposite in a lot of ways. I already feel more in touch with my personal style in a way that allows me to put together outfits that actually feel cohesive and feel fully like me in this given moment.

Because I'm not being distracted by all this other shit that, you know, I might get around to wearing at some point that might express me as a person at some point. All I have in front of me is stuff that represents me as a person today. And working within that world is,

is definitely more limited, but it's, it's actually easier for me to, it's almost like it's easier to experiment when you have less to work with, weirdly enough. I've always thought about this with like creating art. Okay. If you have too much equipment for painting a painting, right? You have 50 different paint colors and you have a massive palette

and you have 50 different sizes of canvas in your garage, and you have 40 different size of brushes, and you have 90 different fucking tools in your toolbox, that'll actually overwhelm you in a lot of ways. It's almost easier to have two brushes, two sizes of canvas, and 10 paint colors in a small little box.

palette to use. It's almost easier to just have that because I don't know, you don't waste time like trying to figure out how do I even create the color that I'm looking for? How do I create the texture that I'm looking for? What tools should I use? What should I do? You get decision fatigue. When you have less to work with, you end up getting more creative with what you have than

Because it's all in front of you. You can see it all. When your closet is packed full of clothes and accessories and sunglasses and this and that and this and that, it's so much harder to get creative because you don't even know what you have. It would take fucking three hours to pick out a cohesive outfit because it's a mess in there. And when you have too much stuff and you're overwhelmed, it's harder to put together an outfit that feels not only cohesive, but also you.

And I think having too much stuff in your closet can either lead to you putting together outfits that kind of feel half-baked because you didn't have enough time to put together a fully cohesive outfit because you were so overwhelmed and you couldn't find all the stuff. Or you end up just wearing the same thing every day because you don't want to search through the stack of sweaters that you have and figure out what to do with it. I think having less in your closet, I mean, indirectly, but still notably less,

leads you to being more fashionable. Like, I think I'm going to be more fashionable as a result of getting rid of all my shit. A full closet does not mean a more fashionable you.

And it doesn't matter how you fill your closet with stuff. As long as everything that's in your closet at a given moment is stuff that you actually wear and enjoy, there you go. And there's a lot of temptation, I think, to, again, like do what I did and like fill your closet with stuff from the thrift store or, you know, even stuff from fast fashion websites, which I used to

buy a lot of stuff from fast fashion websites when I was in high school because I could get a bigger bang for my buck, right? But a lot of that stuff was mainly being consumed so that I could fill my closet. You know what I'm saying? Not because I actually really loved these things. Now I'm like, okay, I'm only going to buy something if I adore this thing and I'm going to wear it over and over and over again.

Which leads me to the second thing that I learned, which I already knew this, but I think I knew this, but it wasn't like something that I was fully comfortable with until now because now I don't have a choice. There's this pressure in real life, but especially on social media to always be wearing a new outfit, always be wearing something fresh, always be wearing something new.

outfit rewearing is like celebrated in some ways, but it's also frowned upon in some ways. Like it's weird. It's like we all know that it's good to rewear outfits, that it's that's the realistic way to exist in this world. Like it's OK to have two going out tops that you wear on the weekends and just cycle through them every other weekend. That's OK.

but we still feel this pressure to always be wearing something new, even though we're also, you know, on the internet, a conversation is happening like, no, we should be re-wearing outfits. But yet people are still scared to do it for some reason. And I'm one of them. Like, I know what's right. I know it's okay to re-wear outfits, but sometimes I'll feel guilt like wearing the same outfit once a week for two months in a row. I'll be like, oh my God, Emma, you need to switch it up. But why? And now that I don't have as many options...

I'm going to be re-wearing the same outfits over and over and over and over again indefinitely. And that's okay. Now that I don't have a choice, it just is what it is. Like I'm going to be wearing the same shit over and over and over again on my Instagram and it is what it is. You know what I mean? And people are like, I think on Instagram, especially there's a pressure to always wear something new.

I don't know. It's stupid. It's fucking stupid. You can be a fashionable person and re-wear clothing on social media. I also realized through this experience that I have a serious shopping addiction. Like, it's not cute. It's not...

It's not like normal. I have an addiction. It's not like I enjoy shopping. I fully have a shopping addiction and I have since I started making my own money. Okay. And I think the reason why I didn't realize how severe it was sooner was because honestly, shopping addiction is completely normalized today. And it 100% makes sense why, right? Like it makes sense that in like movies, TV, advertisements, whatever,

that companies would portray having an abundance of things as bringing joy to people's lives. It makes sense for companies to promote that. Why? Because then we'll buy more stuff and that's good for the economy, okay? Like I fucking understand it. It makes total sense. Can I even blame them for it? I don't know. Like-

I get it. I fucking get it. I absolutely fully 100% get it. And listen, I own a business. Okay. I founded a company. I understand. It's like when it comes to like marketing stuff, I mean, usually, you know, brands are thinking like, huh, how can I market this so that somebody is going to want to buy it? You know what I'm saying? I understand the mindset. However,

I think we're ultimately being sold a lie, right? We're being told that the more the merrier. We're being told that having a shopping addiction is okay, is normal, is something to strive for. No, it's all I ever wanted. All I ever wanted was to be able to have a shopping addiction, right? To have the closet, to put stuff in. And then now here I am and I'm getting rid of all of it because I realized that

I was sold a lie. I was sold this idea that it would make me more fashionable. It would make me happier. It was a sign of success. You know, it would give me freedom of expression. Like I could go into my closet and be any character I wanted any day. It doesn't work like that. I mean, at least in my experience, it's like...

I can still enjoy fashion and just only have stuff that I like in a given moment. You know what I mean? Have only a handful of things. And when I get sick of those things in a year, in five years, whatever, okay, I can get rid of those and do something new. Okay, great. I don't know. Chances are, I would say more of us have a shopping addiction than not. And obviously, you can have a shopping addiction on... It can mean a bazillion different things. Like...

you might have an addiction to ordering stuff on Amazon. You can buy a lot on Amazon and you can get a real bang for your buck on there. Or now there's websites like Teemu. I've never ordered on Teemu. I don't know anything about it, but

Timu. There are all these different websites where you can order a lot of stuff for very cheap, and it's easy to get addicted to that. I was definitely addicted to that in high school. I was really addicted to thrift shopping and vintage shopping because, again, I could get a bang for my buck a lot of times. Vintage, it depends. Sometimes vintage is actually more expensive than new stuff. But anyway,

Sometimes it's cheaper. And I was getting a huge bang for my buck thrifting. And so I was addicted to shopping through thrifting, which sounds ridiculous because it's like you're thrift shopping. You're not buying anything new. It's like a sustainable option. There's all these good things about it. But buying too much is buying too much. Having too much shit is having too much shit.

And I think that our shopping addictions can be sneaky. And I think for the most part, mine were sneaky because I was buying vintage stuff. I was thrifting a lot. I was buying new stuff too. But it felt like what I was doing was fine because I was not buying a ton of new stuff, you know? But I still fully had a shopping addiction. I used to go shopping almost every weekend, go to flea markets, all this shit. But

That's not normal. Like shopping as a hobby, I don't know, it's not a great hobby to have. And it was definitely a hobby for me. I mean, if you can shop as a hobby and not buy stuff every time, great. But if you can't control yourself, I don't think it's a good hobby. And that's what I was dealing with. The strongest epiphany I had, though, was that

My clothing consumption thus far in my life is kind of disgusting. Like, I kind of felt disgusted by myself. Like, I realized how gluttonous I had been in just consuming as much clothes as possible. And, you know, I think we're all sort of aware of, I don't know, like, how overconsumption leads to just...

so much trash and waste and all this. Like we all know this now. Growing up, I didn't know about that. You know what I mean? Now I'm like, oh shit, you know, there's documentaries about it. We see stuff about it on social media. I'm much more aware of it now. And seeing all of my shit is

bagged up in donation bags, even though, you know, ideally I'm like, all this stuff is being donated to people who are going to use it. Hopefully, you know, when they're done with it, then it goes, where does it go? I don't know. It just, it felt gross. And listen, I am not perfect. I'm never going to be perfect, but I feel gross about the way I've been consuming.

thus far in my life since I have started making my own money. And it's something that I just don't feel good about anymore. It's almost like I remember I used to watch My Strange Addiction and like somebody would be addicted to like eating ice cream bars or like they'd be addicted to eating rocks. You know what I mean? Like chewing on rocks and like swallowing rocks or whatever. Like there'd be like some sort of like addiction.

And to help the people realize the extent of their addiction, they would show them, like, let's say somebody was addicted to eating rocks, like they would just chew on rocks all day.

they would take like x-ray scans of their teeth and show how damaged their teeth are and then show how many pounds of rocks approximately that person eats per year. And it's like a huge boulder or something, you know what I mean? Or somebody is addicted to eating ice cream bars and eats like 15 ice cream bars per day and that's like all they eat. And so then the mind strange addiction people would like show them how much,

many ice cream boxes of ice cream bars that is per year. And then they'd be like, oh my God, that is probably too many. Like I probably should be diversifying what I eat, you know? Anyway, it was like, that was the whole premise of the show. But that's kind of how I felt when I saw all of my clothes that I want to get rid of just in a huge fucking pile, like the size of my bed. It was just like, oh my goodness, what have we done? No one needs this much.

I felt gluttonous and bad about myself and guilty. And I actually think that's a good thing because I think I was over consuming. But taking everything out of my closet and seeing it really made me realize how bad the problem was. And I don't know, I think it can be easy to be like, no, this is normal. Like,

Hannah Montana had this and all my favorite YouTubers have this and all my favorite fashion influencers have this. So it's normal. No, it's not. It's not normal. And no one needs that much shit. And I definitely didn't. And that's why I can't live like that ever again. Moving forward, I'm just going to think long and hard before I buy. I'm going to experiment with fashion without buying stuff. I'm going to make collages, make Pinterest boards,

really lean into that and like really think long and hard about every purchase that I make. And, you know, maybe if I like really want something instead of going on buying it, maybe I'll try to learn how to sew it or something so that there's like a delayed gratification. I'm just not going to allow myself to consume the way I used to. And also I'm going to try to get into the habit of every time I buy one thing, I donate another.

you know, so that I'm not accumulating too much stuff. Once something's not serving me anymore, I'll donate it. I'm not a fucking minimalist, okay? I'm never going to be a minimalist. And I don't think you have to be either. But having less stuff feels awesome. And I think the purpose of all of this is to hopefully inspire you to either do what I did and

Get rid of as much as you can and adopt a more responsible lifestyle when it comes to consuming clothes. You know, within reason, like we're not fucking, we're not all perfect and I'm definitely not perfect and I'm still going to buy shit forever.

sometimes on impulse. Like, you know, like, listen, I'm not, I'm not trying to be like, I am, you know, morally better than thou because I get rid of all my stuff. And I am like, I only have like five pairs of jeans now. It's like, I still have a lot of pairs of jeans. Right.

I just was at an extreme level before. And I think it's more common now than ever to have too much stuff because it's easier now than ever to do. We can order things online. You know, we can order straight from fucking wholesalers for so cheap. Like there's all these, it's easy to over consume now more than ever.

And it's also rewarded now more than ever, because if you make a haul on the internet, you'll get a bunch of views. Or, you know, if you wear a new outfit every day on Instagram, you might become a fashion influencer. There's all these chances for reward now. And I guess I was enticed by all of this. And I realize now that I didn't need to take it this far, that I was kind of sold a lie in a way. And maybe you can learn from my mistake.

That's the goal here. Either you learn from my mistake or, you know, you just let go of the desire to have the Hannah Montana closet packed full of stuff. Because once you realize that that is not what you think it's going to be, it's kind of freeing.

All right. That's all I have for today. Again, like I'm not judging your lifestyle. I'm not judging the way that you live. This is just my experience and what has worked for me. And hopefully you learned something from it or something of value comes from it because otherwise what the fuck is the point? I appreciate you for listening and hanging out. And if you enjoyed it, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.

Find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes. Find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain and find my coffee company at chamberlaincoffee.com or on social media at Chamberlain Coffee. I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you for listening. I'll talk to you soon. I need to start finding new hobbies now that I'm not going to shop on the weekends anymore as much. So I'll let you know what I figure out. All right. Love you all. Talk to you soon.