constant panic, a talk with emma
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Listen, I'm an anxious girl. It's just who I am. I mean, I've gone through phases throughout my life. Like, ages three to ten, I was very anxious. I had really bad separation anxiety from my parents. I had anxious emotional attachments to inanimate objects like stuffed animals. I was constantly worried about my safety and well-being. I was very anxious.

And then the anxiety sort of lessened and from ages like 10 to maybe 19, I struggled more with depression. And then the depression lessened and the anxiety came back. So for the last few years, ages probably 19 to today,

I've been in an anxious phase of my life. Now, I'm hoping that maybe one day I'll have a phase where I don't struggle with either. Wow, wouldn't that be gorgeous? Manifesting that for myself. But I've been in an anxious phase for the last few years and I've gone through many phases with my anxiety. I had this phase where my anxiety would manifest in sort of an obsessive way, like I would obsess over something.

So for example, I would obsess over whether or not someone was mad at me. Okay. And that would cause me to have a complete meltdown. And until I could confirm that they weren't mad at me, I'd be in a state of not panic, but extreme agitation. I wouldn't say I was panicking about it because I later discovered what panicking felt like and it was very different, but it was very upsetting for me.

So I'd find something to obsess over. I would experience a lot of anxiety and agitation about it. And then eventually I'd resolve it in one way or another. You know, if I thought somebody was mad at me, I'd figure out whether or not they're mad at me. If I was worried about somebody's well-being, I would contact them to resolve it. And every once in a while, if I couldn't resolve the obsession, whatever my brain was obsessing over quick enough, I would freak myself out to the point of a panic attack and

But for the most part, I'd be able to resolve it quickly and my brain would just move on to the next thing. So I was in this constant state of finding something to obsess over that would freak me out until I could resolve it or it would freak me out until I get a panic attack and then eventually resolve it post panic attack. This episode is brought to you by Walmart. Walmart has unexpected styles and trends that match your dorm aesthetic at prices you'll love.

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And with Fluid Engine, you can customize every detail with a simple drag and drop interface. Plus, you can accept payments any way you like, and their SEO tools help people find you online. Head to squarespace.com slash Emma for a free trial and use code Emma to save 10% on your first purchase. Anyway, so that was one phase. And then more recently, I have been struggling more with dissociating in panic attacks.

I have a whole episode about dissociating. So go check that out if you want to hear my experience with

that horrible feeling and type of anxiety. It is horrific. It's awful. But go listen to that if you want to hear me talk more about that in detail. The phase of anxiety that I'm in now is a combination of two things. Number one, dissociating, this horrible, anxious feeling that makes you feel like you're in an eerie dream, but you're in reality.

sort of like your brain detaching itself from reality to protect itself in a way that's sort of what it feels like. Listen, I'm not a doctor. You know, I'm not a doctor. No one thinks I'm a doctor, but that's my opinion on how it feels. It's like when my brain's overwhelmed, it just detaches and makes me feel numb and spaced out. And it's a horrible feeling.

I'm like underselling it. Like it feels far worse than I'm describing it as. Actually, the way I'm describing it kind of sounds amazing. It's like, oh, what a nice relief. But no, it doesn't feel like that. It feels scary. It's like you feel detached from reality in a way that's scary, not in a way that's relaxing or comforting. It's not like meditating. It's like everything around you suddenly feels unfamiliar. It's a very, very, very unusual feeling and I would not recommend it. I mean, it's not...

No one's choosing to dissociate. But anyway, so I'm going through a phase of anxiety where I'm dissociating, but then I'm also very paranoid. And so I find myself very afraid a lot. Like I find myself in these moments of terror, whether I'm worried about my health or my safety, or I'm worried about the health and safety of my loved ones or whatever. I've just been experiencing a lot of fear about various things. So I'm like,

So when I'm not dissociating, I'm most likely really scared of something. I know this sounds really sad and horrible. It sucks. But it's also just life as an anxious person. If you're an anxious person, you know what I'm saying. This is just it's constantly managing these challenging feelings. And

I don't know. Like it does go through phases. Like my most recent phase has been pretty bad, but also I have phases where I'm not anxious. Like it's not like that doesn't happen. Well, it's very rare, but yeah. So I've been in a really hairy phase with my anxiety for the last few months and I feel like I'm coming out the other side and

And I want to talk about how I've managed this most recent phase of anxiety because it's sort of complex and compounded and it's been really hard for me to manage it. Like this most recent phase of anxiety has been probably the worst I've ever had. And well, it's hard to say it's the worst, but it's been the hardest to shake, you know,

Because it's not just one thing that I'm managing. It's a few different things. It's not just dissociating. It's not just obsessing over something. It's not just living in fear. It's dissociating and living in fear, both at once. And I've gone through phases in the past where I've just dissociated or I've just lived in fear or I've just obsessed over things. But now I have two at once, okay? So the anxiety is...

a lot harder to resolve, right? So I wanted to talk about how I've sort of gotten through this most recent horrific phase. And I think the reason why I'm coming out the other side of it and I'm starting to feel a lot better is because I figured out ways to manage it myself. Now, again, I'm not a doctor, okay? I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

These are just things that have worked for me and maybe they'll work for you. And if nothing more, you don't need to try any of these things. I mean, they're all beneficial. I mean, anyone can try them. They're all just helpful practices for day-to-day life. But if nothing else, I hope that this can comfort those of you who have anxiety as well and remind you that you're not the only one. The funny thing about anxiety is that even though it's very common and so many people have anxiety,

anxiety, panic disorder, et cetera, et cetera, it can be really easy to feel like you're the only one who has ever felt these horrific feelings because anxiety and panic disorder, all of that, feel like you're the only one

feels so extreme and so huge in the mind of an anxious person. And you can feel like I am the only one that's ever experienced this. And something's really wrong with me. You know, something's really wrong with me and I'm unsafe, right? I'm unsafe because I'm the only one that's feeling this. And I'm going to the doctor and the doctor doesn't, and you know, my therapist, they don't, they don't get it. They think I have something one 10th of the strength of what I have. They're not diagnosing me properly. Like that's,

a part of having an anxious brain. When you have an anxious brain, you don't believe that anyone else gets it because that's how the anxious mind works. You go to the worst case scenario. You think you're the only one experiencing it. That conclusion goes hand in hand with having anxiety. It's like so horrible because that feeling like, oh, I'm all alone in this makes the anxiety worse. But let me reassure you that you are not alone and

I get it. And many other people get it. So here's how I've been managing my really bad anxiety over the last few months. To start, I've been really leaning on the basic, obvious anxiety life hacks. When I first started struggling with anxiety, I leaned on my mom because my mom also has

horrible anxiety, really bad panic attacks. I basically got it all from her, I think. So shout out to my mom. And she would always tell me, Emma, take deep breaths, pinch yourself, eat sour candy, name three objects that you can see, list three sounds that you can hear, move three body parts, like all these little life hacks that, you know, you can find with a quick Google search.

And I was always like, but mommy, yes, I call my mom mommy. This is way worse than that. Like this is, hello? Like I'm fucking freaking out. You want me to take a deep breath? Shut the fuck up. I used to be so against these generic anxiety hacks, but they work. They don't fix the problem, but in a pinch, they work. I'll give you an example.

I tend to get anxious when I'm driving because, you know, when you're driving, you want to be sharp mentally. And if I start dissociating while I'm driving or I start to think that I'm having a panic attack while I'm driving and I might start hyperventilating a little bit, it can easily cause a spiral because I can't always pull over. You know, I might be on the freeway in traffic in Los Angeles and I can't just pull over.

pull off to the side of the road. Like, I can't do that. And in a pinch like that, I'm taking deep breaths. You know, I'm taking a long breath in, holding my breath for five seconds, breathing out, repeating that over and over and over and over again until eventually I calm down. And it does work. I've also found that when I'm dissociating and I'm feeling really spaced out and really scared,

it can be really helpful to pinch myself, just lightly, not hard, just until I can feel a little pinch. I might pinch myself on the wrist or on the leg, and that sharp pinch feeling, for whatever reason, can sometimes help me calm down. If I'm feeling overwhelmed in a crowded place, like let's say I'm at an event and I'm starting to feel really anxious,

I'll take a minute in the corner to myself, not in a weird way, okay? I pull it off and make it look like I'm just chilling out. And I quickly, to myself, in my head, will name three things that I can hear, three objects that I can see, and I'll move three body parts, okay? So I'll be like, oh, I see a woman in a beautiful dress, and I see...

a martini glass and I see a chic pair of glasses, like someone's wearing a chic pair of glasses. And then I'll think to myself, okay, I can hear people's voices. I can hear this certain person's voice. I can hear this song playing. I can hear the sound of people's shoes hitting the ground as they walk around. And then I'll move three body parts. I might move my fingers really quick, move my toes really quick, and then move my arm a little bit, whatever. And

And it sounds stupid, but there's something about focusing on that little assignment that really helps. It just helps put you back into the present moment. Because a lot of times with anxiety, you're spiraling. These are all hacks that you can find online. But a lot of us overlook them when we're super anxious and we're in a really, really dark headspace because we're like, there's no way that these hacks are going to work when it's this serious, when it feels this serious.

But in a pinch, they really work. And another thing I'll do if I have a little bit more time is I'll find a few minutes, literally under five minutes to do a little meditation. Okay, just a

a little meditation. Let's say I was really anxious when I was driving and I was driving to a doctor's appointment. When I parked the car, I set a timer for like three minutes and I just let myself close my eyes and take deep breaths for five minutes. Five minutes is generous. Sometimes I'll do it for 60 seconds, but just giving myself that little moment

can really be helpful. I'll even feel like I'm about to have a panic attack at home in the safety of my own home, just on a busy day when I have a lot of stuff going on and I'll have to sit myself down and give myself that moment.

You can even do this on the toilet. I've done this on the toilet many times. Again, at like an event or a party or something. Go sit on the fucking toilet and take deep breaths and close your eyes and set a timer for a minute, you know? I wish I had a groundbreaking new hack to give you, but the basic stuff that you can find on Google is very helpful. And my point of telling you this is that we just shouldn't underestimate these things.

I will say they're more of a band-aid, you know, they're not going to help you over the course of six months, get your anxiety down to lower levels. I mean, yes, maybe, but it's more like in the moment hacks, right? Things to do in the moment when you're in a pinch. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. One skill everyone can benefit from is learning how to take time for themselves. I have been implementing a lot of self-care rituals recently because I

I was not taking nearly enough time for myself and it was negatively impacting my brain. One thing that I've done is not allowed myself to doom scroll on social media in my time spent alone. I find that that just ruins the recharging benefits of being alone. I've been making more time to read books, do art and exercise because I find that all of those things make my alone time even more effective in terms of recharging.

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Another thing I've been really working on is figuring out who and what helps me during my worst moments and who and what harms me during my worst moments. There are people and things that on a normal day make my life better, enhance my life. But in an anxious moment, do not.

And there are people and things that are really beneficial and life enhancing for me on a day to day basis, for sure. But when I'm anxious, really help me more than usual. Pay attention to how people make you feel when you're in an anxious state of mind. There are certain people in my life that I call when I'm anxious because they're

they help me in some way. And then there are some people that I avoid when I'm anxious because they inevitably make it worse. And they are people that I love and adore, but their energy does not help with my anxiety. Whether they're also anxious people or they tend to be maybe more dramatic or more extreme, the types of conversations that I have with those people can make my anxiety worse. On the other hand, there are people who

have a calming effect on you. And it's a matter of taking mental note of who makes you feel like what in challenging moments and then applying that when you're having a rough moment. It's not like you have to cut these people out who maybe can trigger anxiety. You just have to be careful about when you talk to them. Like they're not the people you call to help you calm down when you're actually having a panic attack, right? That's sort of what I'm saying here.

It's knowing who you can lean on in the darkest moment and who you maybe shouldn't call. But it's the same thing with actions, things that you do. When I'm on the verge of a panic attack or I'm having a panic attack, I can't go and work out because I'll convince myself that I can't breathe. I'll convince myself I'm going to pass out. I can't go do a workout, but I can go for a walk. Both things are physical things.

But one makes it way worse and one makes it better. Have I stopped doing workouts during this phase of anxiety? No, I just know that I have to go to the gym when I'm in a better headspace. Like I know when I can and can't go to the gym.

Sometimes going out and being social really helps me. It's a distraction from my anxiety. It helps me feel more grounded. Conversation with other people can help you get out of your head, can kind of stop the spiral in your brain. Sometimes it's too overwhelming. Sometimes lying in bed makes me spiral more. I'm too focused on my current headspace. Sometimes exactly what I need is to lay in bed.

Sometimes listening to calming music is really helpful for me. Sometimes listening to really loud, fun music is what helps me. Sometimes diving into work really helps distract me and it makes me feel in control and it alleviates anxiety. Sometimes I can't work. I just can't do it. It sends me into a spiral.

Sometimes going on the internet is helpful. You know, if I watch some sort of educational YouTube video or podcast or I'm on Pinterest and I'm making a fun mood board, sometimes that's really helpful for me. Sometimes that leads me to doom scrolling on various platforms and I end up down a rabbit hole that I didn't want to be down and now my anxiety is 50 times worse.

I wish that there was a formula. Like, if you're really anxious, go for a walk and then read two chapters of a book and then eat a snack and then take a nap and then you'll be better. Like, I wish there was a formula, but it is very personal to you. Over the last few months, I've really started to figure out what makes my anxiety worse and what makes my anxiety better intuitively.

but it requires a lot of self-evaluation. You have to ask yourself constantly when you're in your worst, most anxious moments, is what I'm doing right now in this current moment helping me or making it worse?

And I also have had to pay attention to what has made me feel better. You know, maybe I've called someone up on the phone in a really bad headspace. And by the end of the phone call, I felt normal. Okay, well, I need to take note of that because I need to start calling that person more when I'm anxious. Or, oh, you know, getting to work and distracting myself with

tasks, you know, that actually really helped me. It's figuring out what works for you. And there is no formula. There's just no formula. But really paying attention to what makes it worse and what makes it better is very helpful.

The next thing I've been working on is figuring out what specific things are going on in my life that trigger my anxiety the most, and then hopefully resolve them through research and acceptance. So there are a few types of triggers that I've noticed.

New fears unlocked can really trigger anxiety. Like an example of that would be flying on planes. I never used to be afraid of flying on planes. And then all of a sudden one day I became afraid of flying on planes. And then that became a new trigger for me. Like when I knew I was going to have to go on a plane soon, I would be really anxious.

Or big shifts in my life, positive or negative, have really triggered anxiety for me more recently. Like whether it's going through a breakup or moving homes or going on a really long trip and being away from home for a long time or...

starting a new business venture, whatever it may be. Big shifts in my life can cause me a lot of anxiety. What I've found is figuring out what triggers you the most in a given moment and then attacking it head on has been really helpful for me. Another thing that has been really helpful for me recently is researching anxiety, researching dissociating, researching panic attacks.

understanding what these feelings feel like, understanding why these feelings happen in my body. The reason why this has been so helpful is because I've noticed that it's sort of a vicious cycle. Something benign will make you anxious. Like you might be anxious about

a high pressure work situation. Like maybe you have an assignment due or whatever, or maybe you're going on a date or something and you're anxious. That's not anything dangerous. That's not anything too serious, but it might spark a little bit of anxiety in you. It'll spark a little bit of anxiety in anyone, right?

Even if you're not an anxious person, that'll still make you anxious. But when you're an anxious person, it might make you a little bit more anxious than the average person. Then you start to feel the symptoms of anxiety, right? You're like,

noticing maybe your heart's beating a little bit faster than normal, or maybe you're breathing a little bit faster than normal. And then as an anxious person, you'll notice those things, and those things will scare you. You're like, why is my body doing that? And then that will make you even more anxious. And now you feel like, wait, why do I feel like I can't breathe? Am I suffocating? What's happening?

am I going to pass out? Am I dizzy? You start to get anxious about the physical reactions that you're having. And then you'll start to have a panic attack. And then you're like, oh my God, no, I'm having a panic attack. I'm afraid of having a panic attack because the feeling of having a panic attack is horrible. And if you're somebody who's experienced it before, you're like, oh my God, no, I don't want to feel that feeling. So then you start to get anxious about having a panic attack. You're like, I don't want to get a panic attack.

And then you have a panic attack. And then while you're having a panic attack, you don't know how to calm yourself down because you're so afraid of the feeling that you're feeling, right? You're afraid of the feeling of the panic attack. And it's this horrible cycle. I mean, similarly with dissociating, it's like, I'm so afraid of the feeling of dissociating that I might be dissociating a little bit and then I'll notice that I'm dissociating. And then that will scare me because I'm like, oh my God, I hate this feeling so much.

Am I going to feel like this forever? Like, is this the time that it never goes away? And I feel like this for the rest of my life. That's usually my fear with dissociating. I'm like, what if this is permanent? Because it's such an uncomfortable and eerie and weird feeling that you're like, oh my God, what if it never goes away?

That then makes you feel extreme fear, which then leads you to get a panic attack, which then makes you start breathing faster and your makes your heartbeat. And then you're afraid of those symptoms. And then you're like, why is my heart beating? Why can I not breathe? Am I dying? I feel like I'm dying. What's wrong with me? Something's really wrong with me. And then you have a panic attack. And then you see what I'm saying? It's like, it's all connected. One thing triggers another thing triggers another thing.

But the more that you understand anxiety, the less afraid you are of it. So for example, as I've educated myself on dissociating, it's like, okay, no, you know, the feeling will go away. It will pass.

I just have to be patient, right? And the irony of it is when I don't freak out about it and I take deep breaths and I distract myself in ways that are helpful for me and I don't let myself freak out and I don't let myself indulge in the fear of it. Indulge is the wrong word, but you get what I mean.

the dissociating passes so much quicker. Whereas when I allow myself to be afraid of it, it just makes it worse. And now that I know that it's normal, it's completely normal to feel like you can't breathe and to feel dizzy and

and to have a pounding heart when you're anxious, now I don't get as afraid of those symptoms. I know, hey, you know what? I'm just on the verge of a panic attack or I'm having a panic attack. Everything's gonna be okay. I just need to calm myself down and let this pass. And again, the irony of it is,

When you're not afraid of those symptoms and you don't let yourself get anxious about the symptoms of anxiety, they end up passing a lot quicker. So I really recommend for all of you who tend to be anxious to do a lot of research about anxiety because a lot of the anxiety that we get is about anxiety. So that has been really helpful. And my mom recommended that to me because...

She's really struggled with this through the years, and that's what really helped her get her anxiety under control to a place now where she can really manage it well, you know? Researching anxiety, dissociating, panic disorder, all that, understanding it has made me less afraid of it

And then in tandem with that, I've also been really working on accepting that I may cycle through phases of these feelings forever. And even though I still struggle with the fear of anxiety itself, I'm

and the fear of dissociating itself, and the fear of panic attacks themselves, I'm trying to accept these feelings just as much as I'm educating myself about them. Similar to another trigger for me recently, which has been my health. I don't know why this is happening. This has been happening for a while now in some ways. I've definitely had a lot more anxiety about

my safety and my well-being recently after years of going through depressive episodes where I couldn't have cared less if I lived or died. Now, all of a sudden, I don't want to die anymore and I've gone the complete opposite direction and now I'm overly protective of myself. Part of being really concerned about your well-being is being concerned about your health. And I've just been so paranoid about my health, you know?

Like, for example, I constantly think I'm pregnant. I'm constantly anxious that I'm pregnant. I'm on birth control. I have birth control. But this has been going on for a long time. But I am always concerned about getting pregnant on accident. I really don't want that to happen. And so to combat that,

I've started stocking my bathroom cabinet with pregnancy tests so that I can constantly be checking and making sure I'm not pregnant. I've done a lot of research about my specific type of birth control and how effective it is. But I'm also working to accept the reality that even though I'm on birth control and even though it's very effective, I might get pregnant anyway. Like it could still happen. And that's something that

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Another health anxiety I have is that for some reason recently, I've been convincing myself that I'm having an allergic reaction. I've been very afraid of experiencing an allergic reaction. And I've actually never had one before, so that's why it doesn't really make any sense that I'm so afraid of it. But I've convinced myself multiple times recently that I'm having an allergic reaction because I've felt my throat closing up and I've

I've convinced myself that my skin is itchy and shit when in reality, I'm just having a panic attack. And so what have I done? I've researched what it feels like when you're having an allergic reaction, what to do if you have an allergic reaction. And I'm learning to accept that I might have an allergic reaction one day that's really bad, as I fear. And if that's the case, you know, Jesus will hopefully take the wheel here. Okay. So whatever, like,

Jesus or the universe, whatever, the wheel will be taken by something. And those are just a few examples, but this is happening to me all the time.

I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my voice completely one day because I always have a raspy voice and I lose my voice a lot and I probably have vocal cord nodes, but whatever. I'm afraid of something happening to my voice. I constantly am afraid that I'm sick or that I have a disease that I don't know about. Like I'm always anxious about these things. And so I'm very paranoid about different bodily symptoms. And as they come in and as they happen, because we're human and we all,

feel like shit's off every once in a while, I go to the doctor and I say, hey, can you, you know, just what's up? I don't go to the doctor if nothing's wrong. Like I make sure there's actually something off or wrong first. And then I go to the doctor and I take control of the situation. You know, on top of that, I research my symptoms. Now that can be a really bad thing to do sometimes. You don't always want to do that. Just blindly research symptoms because it'll tell you like

you're going to die, you know? So definitely I'd talk to a doctor instead if you're an anxious person and you can. But sometimes it's actually helpful to look up your symptoms. Like, is it normal to have white sweat? Like one time I had sweat that was like milky, like it looked milky. I was like, what the fuck? Like, am I, what's happening? I Googled it. It was fine. You know what I'm saying? And then I was like, oh, okay, we're good. And

Educating yourself on what's happening in your body, that helps so much.

But again, in tandem with accepting that something might also be wrong. Like that's such a huge challenge with anxiety is accepting, yes, things might go wrong. Like your biggest fears might come true, but there's nothing you can do about it. And so you have to let it go. And it's this balance of easing your mind through education and accepting that things might go wrong.

Sort of similar to my health anxiety. I've also had general anxiety about my well-being, you know, thinking I'm going to get stabbed in the street. I'm afraid of getting murdered. I'm afraid of someone breaking into my house, which...

Go listen to my episode called The Scariest Night of My Life if you want to hear a fun story. I'm afraid of being in an airplane and it crashing. I'm afraid of my house catching on fire. I've been very afraid of these types of things. What's been really helpful for me is looking up the statistics. How often does a plane crash? How often does a house randomly combust, you know, like explode? How often do people get stabbed?

How do I prevent getting stabbed? How do I prevent my house lighting on fire? Digging into the research, figuring out how I can prevent these things from happening so that I feel in control, and then ultimately accepting the fact that it still might happen anyway and there's nothing I can do. But I'm doing everything I can to prevent it as much as possible.

Another interesting anxiety trigger for me is existential thoughts. Like, I hope that I don't sound completely bizarre for this, but when I think about what the hell we're all doing, like how the world works, not, I'm not talking about

capitalism. I'm not talking about politics, okay? I'm talking about the bread and butter of how the world works, like gravity. This sounds so stupid. I sound like a stoner. I don't smoke weed. This is something I do just when I'm driving my car and it makes me want...

to go to sleep for two weeks, okay? I'll think about, you know, how is it that my body is working right now? I remember to breathe. I remember to blink. Like, it all, I'm conscious. I'm a conscious human being. How does gravity work? Why is it working so well? Like, it's,

It's terrifying when you think about all of it. Human existence, when you really think about it, is very overwhelming, okay? And when I go down a rabbit hole in my brain about it, it can really create anxiety for me. And it particularly causes me to dissociate. It's interesting because I've been aware of all these things my whole life. I've been aware of how cool it is that gravity works as well as it does and that...

you know, as well as it does. I don't know that it just works in general and how cool it is that humans are conscious. And it's like, I've always known that, but for some reason, the older I get, the more anxiety it causes in me. Now, what's interesting about existential thoughts is that I haven't found that educating myself further on those things makes me feel better. Like I already, we learned about a lot of it in school, like how our bodies work and how gravity works and how

We all got here, although we don't really know for sure, I guess. I found that when I'm sort of having an existential crisis and I'm anxious about how this all works, I guess, instead of educating myself,

in doing research to alleviate those feelings, I sort of do the opposite and I focus on what's in front of me. You know, I'll call someone up on the phone and talk about dumb little things or I'll focus on a dumb little task that's on my to-do list.

And that has really helped me. I mean, I think there could be some value to researching. I don't know, like if you're stressed out about how human existence works, it might be helpful to research it. I found the most helpful thing is to accept it for what it is and then focus on smaller, completable tasks.

things that have a start and an end. Like if your brain gives itself the assignment of understanding and comprehending human existence, you will not ever complete that project. In fact, I don't think anyone really fully has. So you've now given yourself an assignment that you can't complete. And so I found for me, it's better to find an assignment that I can complete and to distract myself.

So all of that to say, figuring out your anxiety triggers and then attacking them head on in one way or another, whether it's through research or it's through healthy and necessary distraction, all combined with as much acceptance as you can find within yourself for what we can't control, that's really helpful.

anxiety just festers and gets worse if you don't address the root of it. You don't address what's bothering you. And, you know, it's interesting. One trigger for me was flying on planes. After doing a lot of research about the safety of airplanes and

sort of just accepting that I don't know what's going to happen, but airplanes are really safe. So everything's probably going to be fine. I've been able to let go of that fear of that specific trigger. And there's probably a better way to handle anxiety that I'm not aware of. But I've noticed that going down the checklist of all the things that trigger me and sort of slowly but surely removing them from my list of triggers, I just get anxious less often. But

But then that also leads us to my final self-assigned assignment, which has been pushing through the fear. Another way to sort of alleviate the anxiety of specific triggers is to face them head on. Like one of the things that really helped my fear of flying, in addition to doing research on planes and accepting that it could be dangerous, we don't know, but probably not,

I also didn't let myself stop traveling by plane. It can be really easy to be like, I can't handle this. I can't handle this. I don't want to go on the, like, I'm, I'm afraid of this. This triggers my anxiety. I'm already anxious enough. I don't want to, I can't do this. I can't do it. I'm going to, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to face this fear.

You got to face the fear. You know, another example would be recently I've been really afraid of having an allergic reaction and I was prescribed this medication by my doctor for something. And the first day I was going to take it, I was a wreck because I was really afraid that I was going to have an allergic reaction to the medication because I've never taken this medication before.

And part of me almost wanted to be like, you know what? I just don't even want to take the medicine. Like I'm so afraid of having an allergic reaction to the medicine that I don't even want to take the medicine. But you know what I did? I took it anyway. And guess what? Everything was fine. The more that you put...

push through things that trigger your anxiety and you prove to yourself, oh wait, everything is fine. Just because I have anxiety doesn't mean that the result is going to be bad. We can mistake anxiety for intuition. We can think that we're having an intuitive feeling about something or having a gut feeling about something, but it's just anxiety. And that's what makes us so afraid of certain things like flying on the plane, having allergic reaction, etc., etc., etc.,

If you face the fear head on and everything goes fine, you're proving to yourself that you don't need to be anxious. Everything's okay. Now, there's always risk in everything in life. Things could always go wrong and things will go wrong at some point.

But most of the time, things don't really go wrong. They don't go wrong as often as we think they're going to, for the most part. And if you can teach yourself that through facing the fears that stem from your anxiety, you can also help to alleviate your anxiety. So these are all things that I've been doing to help...

get through this anxious phase, and I think I'm coming out the other side of this one. Now, it seems that my anxiety morphs over time in a way that makes it challenging to ever fully have a grasp on. Like, I might resolve one type of anxiety, but then my brain miraculously figures out a new way to be anxious that now I need to attack. But at the end of the day, we're all dealt various cards. You know, some of us are anxious.

Some of us are depressed. The list goes on and on and on. And no human being on the planet gets away with having no challenges as much as that would be a beautiful thing. And you know, maybe one day...

Maybe one day I'll really get it under control and I'll only have like one panic attack a year and I won't dissociate as often. And maybe one day I'll fully get it under control. You know, who knows? And if I don't, then I'll just keep working on it and everything will be fine. Okay. Everything's fine. Hopefully this was helpful for those of you out there who struggle with anxiety, whether it's in a small way or a big way. And I don't know. I just think

It's always so helpful to be reminded that there's a lot of us dealing with this specific challenge in life. And we just got to stick together, you guys. We'll just, we just have to stick together. So.

I actually have to go get on a plane now, which is so ironic because I was talking about how afraid of planes I was. And I'll tell you, I'm not afraid of going on the plane today. I'm actually not. I have a little teensy, teensy, teensy bit of anxiety, but it's so minor compared to what I was experiencing a few months ago. So all is well. And I just love you all and appreciate you all. And thank you for spending your time with me today. And you can tune in to Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.

Listen anywhere you stream podcasts. Watch video only on Spotify. Follow anything goes on Instagram at anything goes. Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain. Check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com. Coffee, tea, whatever your heart desires. We might be in a grocery store near you. So go on our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com and see if we're in a store near you or just order and have it show up on your doorstep.

That's all I have for today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I will talk to you very soon. Bye. Love you. This episode is brought to you by Hydro Flask. Hydration is so important. But you know, I'm somebody who loves fashion because when I'm showing up to my favorite Los Angeles workout class, I want my water bottle to be as cute as my workout set.

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