163. Is Your Audience Ignoring You? How Authenticity Creates Connection
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How acceptance and authenticity can transform all of our interactions.

What’s the key to experiencing deeper connection in our communication? According to Alan Alda), it starts with acceptance — of others and ourselves.

"Connecting, communicating, and clarity," Alda explains, "they're all based on hearing what the other person is really saying; letting the person be real; accepting them.” As an acclaimed actor, writer, director, and author of If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?), Alda has spent much of his career exploring how acceptance enables us to be our authentic selves, leading to better communication and truer connection. “There’s nothing more engaging than the real you,” he says.

Also the founder of the Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science) at Stony Brook University, Alda strives to help scientists and health professionals communicate more effectively with the public. “Science can't do its work unless it gets funded. And it can't get funded if people don't understand what the scientists are trying to do,” he says.

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart), Alda and host Matt Abrahams discuss how acceptance and authenticity can transform all of our interactions, from complicated science conversations to everyday communication.

Episode Reference Links:

• Alan Alda)
• Alan’s Book: If I Understood You, Would I have This Look on My Face?) 
• Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science) 
• Ep.82 It’s Not About You: Why Effective Communicators Put Others First) 
• Ep.114 Communication Means Paying Attention: The Four Pillars of Active Listening)

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• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn)

Chapters:

(00:00:00) IntroductionHost** Matt Abrahams introduces guest Alan Alda, an actor and communication expert.(00:00:59) Motivation for CommunicationWhat led to Alan's passion for helping scientists communicate effectively.(00:02:59) Avoiding Communication PitfallsCommon communication mistakes and the importance of experiential learning.(00:05:15) The Role of Clarity and VividnessHow clear, vivid communication makes messages memorable.(00:06:22) Reflection in CommunicationReflecting on conversations to foster connection.(00:07:12) Connection in ConversationsThe role of early connection in communication.(00:08:27) Reframing Communication AnxietyReframing communication anxiety by focusing on connection.(00:10:07) Asking Meaningful QuestionsThe importance of genuine curiosity in asking good questions.(00:11:02) Matt’s Communication JourneyMatt recalls a childhood experience that inspired his passion for communication.(00:12:49) The Art of StorytellingHow vividness and structure create engaging stories.(00:15:16) The Final Three QuestionsAlan shares an area of communication he is working on, a communicator he admires, and his recipe for successful communication.(00:17:23) Conclusion**

• (00:00) - Introduction

• (01:57) - Motivation for Communication

• (03:57) - Avoiding Communication Pitfalls

• (06:13) - The Role of Clarity and Vividness

• (07:20) - Reflection in Communication

• (08:10) - Connection in Conversations

• (09:25) - Reframing Communication Anxiety

• (11:05) - Asking Meaningful Questions

• (12:00) - Matt’s Communication Journey

• (13:47) - The Art of Storytelling

• (16:14) - The Final Three Questions

• (18:21) - Conclusion