cover of episode 116. Quick Thinks: Don't Sweat the Small Talk

116\. Quick Thinks: Don't Sweat the Small Talk

2023/11/21
logo of podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

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@Matt Abrahams : 许多人害怕闲聊,尤其是在节假日。但实际上,闲聊是一种被低估的连接、学习和创造机会的方式。它不像网球比赛那样需要来回击球,而更像集体玩抛接豆袋游戏,需要合作才能保持对话的持续性。成功的闲聊关键在于将目标设定为展现兴趣而非有趣,这有助于减轻焦虑。在回应时,适当的回应比快速回应更重要,暂停可以帮助思考并避免说错话。复述对方所说的话可以帮助减缓速度、仔细倾听并验证理解。在不知道说什么的时候,可以尝试“Tell me more”,这能给予对方更多表达机会,也给自己更多思考时间。沟通中的错误是正常的,应将其视为“错失的镜头”,并尝试不同的表达方式。在即兴发言中,简洁明了比冗长更好,避免像“造钟”一样,而应直接“报时”。即使是即兴沟通,结构也很重要,它能使沟通更紧凑清晰,例如“是什么?所以呢?接下来呢?”三个问题的结构。练习是掌握闲聊技巧的关键,应避免使用陈词滥调的开场白,尝试与环境相关的独特问题。结束闲聊时,应避免使用生物性借口,而应采用“白旗策略”,即提前发出结束信号,并留下一个开放式问题。 @Rachel Greenwald : Rachel Greenwald提出“你的目标是感兴趣,而不是有趣”的观点,强调在闲聊中展现兴趣而非试图成为有趣的人的重要性,这有助于减轻焦虑。她还提出了‘白旗策略’,建议在结束对话时提前发出信号,并留下一个开放式问题,以更优雅地结束谈话。

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Small talk is reframed from a stressful tennis match to a collaborative hacky sack game, emphasizing the importance of keeping the conversation flowing rather than focusing on individual contributions.

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Even if you don’t think you’re a natural, anyone can become proficient at the art of small talk by utilizing the right tactics and behaviors. In this collaboration with Harvard Business Review, strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams shares his tips and techniques for cocktail party chit chat, networking small talk, and holiday dinner-table conversation.

Watch the full video on HBR's YouTube channel.

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