cover of episode 238. High functioning codependency and caring too much ft. Terri Cole

238. High functioning codependency and caring too much ft. Terri Cole

2024/10/11
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Jemma: 本期节目探讨了高功能依赖症这一概念,它不同于传统意义上的依赖,而是指过度付出、过度承担责任,看似无私奉献,实则可能源于对控制和安全感的需求。这种模式在高成就人士中较为常见,他们往往难以设定界限,身心俱疲,却难以察觉自身问题。 节目中,Jemma 提出疑问:总是为他人解决问题,总是主动承担责任,看似无私,但实际上是否是一种控制欲的体现?是否在掌控全局时才能感到安全?这些疑问引出了高功能依赖症这一概念,并强调其在高成就人士中的普遍性。 Jemma 期待与心理治疗师 Terri Cole 共同探讨高功能依赖症的特征、行为模式、潜在危害以及应对策略。 Terri Cole: 高功能依赖症并非传统意义上的依赖,而是指高成就人士过度投入他人情绪和结果,损害自身利益和身心健康。许多高功能依赖症患者是高成就女性,她们在事业上取得巨大成功,但在人际关系中却表现出过度付出、难以设定界限等问题。 Terri Cole 认为,高功能依赖症的根源在于控制欲,患者试图通过控制他人来获得安全感和内心的平静。这种控制欲往往是潜意识的,患者并未意识到自身行为的负面影响。 Terri Cole 详细解释了高功能依赖症患者的特征、行为模式以及由此带来的身心健康问题,并提出了相应的应对策略,例如设定界限、关注自身需求、学习如何更好地支持他人等。她强调,真正的爱与支持并非过度干预,而是尊重他人的自主性,允许他人经历自身的成长过程。

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Codependency is often misunderstood. It's not just about enabling an alcoholic, but can manifest as overgiving and overachieving, especially in high-functioning individuals. This episode explores high-functioning codependency, a more invisible form common among overextending individuals.
  • High-functioning codependency is an often-misunderstood concept.
  • It involves overgiving and overachieving behaviors.
  • It's a more invisible form of codependency.

Shownotes Transcript

What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and who have few boundaries (even if they don't know it). 

In today's episode, we are joined by the originator of this term. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist and boundary expert who has been investigating this phenomena for years in her high functioning and highly successful clients. She shares the traits, behaviours, costs and ways to improve your high functioning codependency. This was one of my favourite episodes to date, happy listening!

Buy Terri's new book here:  https://www.soundstrue.com/products/too-much?srsltid=AfmBOor1-0MHrQayS-ZdUANvTC5qC-T4e1Bpxotu8cti1CqOVVizKO17) )

Follow Terri here: @terricole 

Terri's resources: https://www.terricole.com/

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg)

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast)

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