cover of episode 177. Understanding our fear of intimacy

177. Understanding our fear of intimacy

2024/3/12
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The Psychology of your 20s

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节目主持人深入探讨了二十多岁年轻人普遍存在的亲密关系恐惧问题。节目主持人指出,这种恐惧可能源于童年时期缺乏安全感、情感忽视或过度保护的教养方式,也可能与青少年时期的恋爱创伤、自身的不安全感以及对被吞噬的恐惧有关。亲密关系恐惧会以多种方式表现出来,例如不断地陷入短暂的关系中,在关系变得安全时制造冲突,或者对伴侣设置过高的标准。节目主持人还分析了亲密关系恐惧的几种类型,包括情感亲密恐惧、性亲密恐惧和智力亲密恐惧,并指出这些恐惧的根源都是主观的,基于过去的经历和各种因素对我们对待爱和接受爱的方式的影响。为了克服亲密关系恐惧,节目主持人建议进行深入的内部工作,首先要识别这种感觉的根源。这可以通过自问一些问题来实现,例如:最糟糕的事情是什么?你是否觉得自己值得被爱?节目主持人还建议打破关于爱的错误观念,例如:爱很容易破碎,如果关系失败就证明自己不值得被爱等。通过想象理想中的关系来证明错误观念是错误的,并思考自己是否真正渴望爱。节目主持人还建议警惕在约会中急于求成,避免人为加速与他人的亲密关系,并建议暂时停止约会,专注于自我提升。在一段关系中,如果感到想要推开对方,应该尝试尽可能多地沟通,并向对方表达自己的需求。如果伴侣无法提供所需的安慰和理解,则应该考虑结束这段关系。节目主持人强调,克服亲密关系恐惧是一个需要时间和努力的过程,需要对自身有足够的了解和接纳,并对爱有积极的预期。

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Love is scary. There are so many opportunities to be hurt, to be let down, to have thing turn out in a way we never wanted them to. But it's also one of the best things in live and brings incredible joy and fulfilment. Why is it that some of us avoid the experience all together. In today's episode we are going to discuss the fear of intimacy in all its forms. We will discuss: 

  • Signs you have a fear of intimacy (serial dating, situationships, emotional avoidance)
  • Childhood and early relationship wounds
  • The fear of engulfment and overbearing parents 
  • How insecurity drives protectiveness 
  • Our misconceptions about love 
  • 4 steps to healing your fear of intimacy

We also discuss some of the ways people in their 20s might not realise they have a fear of intimacy and why our society sometimes celebrates the things that keep us in a state of avoidance. All of that and more, listen now! 

 

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