Unclogging My Milk Duct, Co-Sleeping & Our Motel Nightmare
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Your milk got clogged. Yeah. You needed some assistance. Wait, are we actually going to talk about this? Totally up to you. Well, I mean, I like want to talk about it because I want other people to be like, oh yeah, the same thing happened to me. It's not that weird. I have never in my life heard of a snake being inside a motel room. So I like debated on what to do. I was like, do I call the front desk? Do I try to move it? Like, how do I do this? When I saw the snake, Griffin was still crying and I was like, oh my gosh, did another snake get inside the path?

Welcome back to the Unplanned Podcast. How are you feeling with your vertigo? I feel like something's been wrong every day for the past two weeks.

I'm so fed up. Like migraines have been a thing, which I totally get it. Like you get a lot of migraines, but I feel like you've been taking Excedrin every day. Do you think I would just do that just for fun? No, I don't think you'd do that for fun. So then why do you think I'm faking it? I don't know. I'm like, do I need to take more medicine? Like is everyone else getting these headaches and I just suck it up when I get a headache and don't take medicine? I don't know. I don't know what that is. Everyone that's listening that gets migraines is literally...

Flabbergasted that you have the audacity to say that. I have had a really bad headache before, but I feel like I don't take medicine that often. If you've had a migraine, it doesn't go away unless you take something. Yeah. Like it stays. Like if I go to bed with a migraine, if I'm able to somehow fall asleep, I'm going to wake up with it. Right now, what's happening is this... I don't have a headache, but this vertigo is... Oh my gosh. I literally told the doctor. I went to the doctor. I had my blood drawn today. Do you know this? This is...

fake it sucked out your blood i went and had my blood drawn gosh because every time i like how i described it to the doctor i was like i'm dizzy and then she's like okay like tell me more about that like and i was like well like when i stand up it feels like my eyes are tracking slower than my body like my face like my it feels like and then she's like oh that's vertigo do you ever get into that state of mind where you say a word and it doesn't even sound like it's in the english language are you thinking that with vertigo yeah i'm almost like is that word is that word vertigo

Or you're like, the... Does that even mean... Like, what does that even mean? Like, you say it so many times and it's like, what the heck is that word? Wait, have you seen that trend that's like, words that would be good baby names if they weren't what they mean? I think Vertigo would be that one. That's kind of cute. You're right. Maybe we should name our next kid Vertigo. Well, did you... Have you seen that trend? No. What were the other ones? I didn't know what the other names were. One was like, leave ya. Oh.

I can't think of the other one. Should I look it up? I almost said something really raunchy and I'm not going to say it. Yeah, that's crazy. Naming your kid Labia. No one has

That's insane. I bet you someone has done that before. You think? Of course. There's 7 billion people. There's definitely someone walking around there in this world with the name Blabia. No way. They're probably listening to this podcast right now. No way, man. I don't even think they let you do that. Maybe in another language it means something different. So then it's like cute in their language, you know? I don't really know if I believe that. My mom wanted to name my older brother Cain. But because Cain killed Abel, my dad advised her not to do that.

Yeah, especially because you guys said all boys. Arson is another one that they say like it would be a good... Areola. Yeah.

Arson actually is, it seems like it should be named. This one said Xanax. That's kind of cool actually. Xanax. Xanax is kind of a cool name. The way it just rolls, it has an X in it. Like how many people's names? Rosacea. What is even, I don't even know what that means. Rosacea is when your skin is like, has a reddish tint to it. Oh, I've literally never heard of that. I've been speaking English for 25 years and never heard of that word. You know, yeah, your vocabulary.

isn't as big as you think. I have been reading books though. It's going to expand it for you. Abby has converted me to being a book reader and I'm now reading all the books that I read when I was a kid. I just finished the Hunger Games series. I'm now reading all the Eragon books, which I read when I was a kid. The nostalgia is real. I love it so much. And now we read books together at night before bed. Yeah, but you don't even cuddle me anymore.

You love your books more than me now. I put my hand on you for probably 30 minutes straight. That's not cuddling me. That counts for something. It's better than nothing. That's physical touch. Come on. I really think my love language is physical touch now. I want to read books while cuddling. And there's been multiple nights where I've played with your hair while you fell asleep.

I haven't done that in the past few days, but that happened, I think, last week. I was thinking that's like one of the things that makes me feel like the most like that or when you take care of me. I was reading a romance book and she was sick and he was taking care of her. And I realized like that is my love language. Like if I'm sick, not with vertigo. Vertigo, I feel just like I'm pissed off that I have this because I'm not sick. I have no other symptoms except that like as I'm looking at you, it's like I look at you like my head moves and then my – I can't.

I'm so dizzy, but it's just like I'm on a boat. Anyway, that's my love language is like being taken care of and cuddled. So what does that mean about me? I'm going to say, yeah, I try to do like this morning I made your coffee and I know that like acts of service, like little things like that. To me, it's like it took me two minutes to make your coffee. But I know to you that it's like he made my coffee. It's even better when I don't ask you to do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like when it's like surprise. Because I did ask you this morning to do it. I got you an Americano from Starbucks. I know that was like. Yeah, that was really nice. But even if you just make it at home. I don't know how to make an Americano at home. No, I don't mean make that at home. Make coffee in general. Should we talk about this trip that we just took this week?

This nightmare trip we took with her. Oh, you think it was a nightmare? No, there were definitely ups and downs. I've forgotten what it's like to travel with kids because so much of our travels recently, we'll do like a quick 24-hour trip for work or to go see a friend or something. And we don't bring our kids with us. I mean, it hasn't been that long. It's been like four months, but it did feel like a while.

Yeah, I guess it was Christmas that we traveled last time with the boys. No, it was my grandpa's funeral. Oh, your grandpa's funeral. But you weren't there for the return flight. Yeah, that's true. But I flew out with Griffin on that flight. And that was really fun because he had his own seat. But this time, our kids didn't have their own seats. We both had a lap infant. And one of them is like 35 pounds. He is.

And they're like, he's like a wild animal to sit with. I honestly think I had like scratches and visible evidence of sharing a seat with him. That was challenging. Like trying to keep our kids entertained for the whole flight. It was hard. Like there was no time to rest. No. Did you get to like read your book or do anything on the plane? Oh, heck no.

It's like you have your hierarchy of needs. I was still on the basic survival the whole time. And honestly, those weren't even being met at times. Imagine if one of us had to go to the bathroom. I think about this. You couldn't have both of those kids on your lap. So I was like, I'm just going to have to hold it. There's just no way I go to the bathroom. That is a thing I've realized is very, very difficult to do as a parent of littles is use a public restroom. That's true. I'm at the park with them. I'm like, I got to wrangle them.

Do I fit them both in the stall with me? That feels weird and gross. But what else am I supposed to do? I can't leave them out there. I thought about that too. Like if I have to go pee, I just have to hold the kid on my hip because I'm not going to set them down on the dirty bathroom floor where they're going to start touching. But what am I supposed to do? I have to sit down to go to the bathroom. Shoot. What do you do? Exactly. As a guy, I just stand. I never know. I just hold it usually. Like if I had to go number two, I never go number two with the kids because then it's like...

They're going to just start touching everything on the bathroom floor. So, yeah. Do you just let them roam around the stall? I just let my bladder explode. Well, no. I never set... I have Griffin stand because he can. And then I put Augie in his stroller. But if I'm in a place where I don't have Augie's stroller, I just don't go to the bathroom. What they should do is they should have a... I don't know if this is actually possible. But a built-in little baby seat. Ooh.

Ooh. Just in the stall. Or like a little high chair in the stall so that you can strap in your toddler and they're not going to run away. It seems gross, but it's like, what else are you going to do? Yeah. It could even, it could like come down from the wall. What if we invented that? Like a baby changing thing, but it's a baby seat. It's a toddler holder so that you can go to the bathroom.

And they're not going to leave. Well, also, toddlers, that's fine because you can kind of corral them long enough. But babies, I'm like, I don't really know what to do. Yeah. Luckily, because I had you, I was able to set Griffin down and go number two at the airport because I didn't want to bring him. You went number two at the airport? I did go number two at the airport. When was that? I kind of do that every time I go to the airport. Why? You kind of just have to go. It's in the morning. You have your coffee, you know? Yeah.

That's great. I'm not a diva. Like I'm, I'm not the type of person that has to go number two only at my house.

Is that you? Like, do you hold it to go at the house? I don't have the option. I've heard of people that'll do that. They will literally never go out in public. Like, they will never use a public restroom to go number two. Crazy, right? No, I can't. I do have to put down the toilet paper though on the seat. You do that? Because dudes will pee on the seat. I don't want to sit on urine when I'm going poo. That makes sense. Which is kind of gross. You're kind of a germaphobe. I've gotten better. I'll drink after people now. Oh, okay. I'll eat some food off the floor. I'm not like you. I won't eat everything off the floor. I don't.

Tony, everything off the floor. I don't think it's bad to be a germaphobe. I think it's actually probably a good thing. So for those of you that don't know, we went to my cousin's wedding in Missouri, got to see him get married and got to spend time with my family, got to see Abby's grandma. It was so, so much fun going to the wedding. But something I wasn't prepared for on our journey, we stayed a night at a motel. Two nights. And I found a snake. I literally was about to like...

sit down at a desk and work on my computer and right before i took my shoes off i noticed there was like some cockroaches and some different bugs on the floor i'm like oh that's kind of nasty cockroaches yeah well okay there was a worm and then there was a roly-poly maybe yeah there wasn't a cockroach but i looked over and that's when i saw the snake i literally thought it was fake

It wasn't a massive one. Like, it was probably... The picture made it look huge. It was probably two feet long. That's huge. But pretty skinny. And I don't know anything about snakes. I don't know which ones are venomous. I don't know which ones will bite you. But it started moving and I was like, oh, that's not like a fake snake that someone placed here as a joke. This is a real freaking snake. So...

So I like debated on what to do. I was like, do I call the front desk? Do I try to kill it? Do I try to move it? Like, how do I do this? I was about to get a plastic cup to put over the snake and to like try to put a piece of paper under it. That way I could like hold it in the cup and then like throw it outside. It would not fit in a plastic cup. But then I was like, wait a second. What if it like tried to bite my hand while I'm putting it in this cup? So then I went back to the drawing board and I was like, okay.

I could just roll up our kids diaper change pad. You know, they're like the green diaper change pad. And I was like, if I just roll this up, I can turn it into like a long rod, which then I could like shuffle the snake over and push it out the door. So I like started whacking the floor in front of it. So it gets scared and like move. And then I got it over to the door and

and shoved it out and like whisked it away with um with with a diaper change pad this episode is sponsored by one of our all-time favorite baby brands dreamland baby both of our babies use their dreamland weighted sleep sack every single night and nap they are amazing you guys they're made out of 100 organic soft cotton and they have this two-way zipper so you can do easy diaper changes in the night it kind of just makes them feel like they're getting a cozy hug all night long or during their entire nap it's literally the best okay it's amazing and our kids

Our kids actually need them to sleep. We also give these out as gifts to friends. So if there's somebody that we know in our life that's having a baby, we're like, hey, you need a Dreamland baby sleep sack. Let's go ahead and give you one. And we love giving them out. We have multiple of them for ourselves. We have like all the different sizes. We love them. And we've been almost using Dreamland baby sleep sacks for two years because we're about to have a two-year-old. Yeah. And.

And we've, like I said, exclusively used them for every nap and night. They actually have a little swaddle, a weighted sleep swaddle, which is incredible for both of our babies. They had a strong moral reflex, which basically means they like twitch and it wakes them up. But this helped them sleep through all that because it calmed their arms down. It's gently weighted, but they can still roll around, stand up, even walk in them.

I feel very comfortable using them with our children. There's no greater gift you can give a new parent than the gift of sleep. And their Dreamland Sleep Sacks help babies fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. They get to have deeper sleep. And, you know, everyone's happy when everyone's sleeping. So go to dreamlandbabyco.com and enter our code UNPLANNED at checkout to receive 20% off site-wide and free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. Back to the episode. Do you have a phobia? You clearly don't have a phobia of snakes. No.

I might develop one after that. We were staying in separate rooms and thank God we were because if the snake was in my room, I don't think I would have slept all night. Just knowing that he was in your room, I had a hard time. But

Yeah. We had to stay in separate rooms so the babies could be in separate rooms because if one of them woke up, then both of them would have woken up and it would have just been too much. Well, I started to freak out because when I saw the snake, Griffin was still crying in his pack and play. And I was like, oh my gosh, did another snake get inside the pack and play? That would be horrifying. So I rushed over, got Griffin out, and I like checked thoroughly in the pack and play to make sure there wasn't a snake in the pack and play. And there wasn't. So that was great. I have

I've never in my life heard of a snake being inside a motel room. Ever. Ever. Have you? I mean, I'm sure it has happened, but I've never experienced that. The picture is crazy. We'll have to share the picture somewhere for you guys to see because this thing was... It was a snake. Honestly, that was probably a sign for things to come. Yeah. Yeah.

it really wasn't bad overall the trip was a success but it was just like making me more excited for our anniversary trip without kids because i was like this is getting a little bit exhausting i don't know that the trip had its ups and downs there was that moment where your milk got clogged yeah and you needed some assistance stop wait are we actually gonna talk about this

Totally up to you. Let's talk about it in a very respectful and vague. We'll use very age appropriate words. Age appropriate? No, I'm just like talking about it in a vague way. Okay, so basically Abby in the past has told me about women getting their like milk duck clogged. Well, no, I've had it. And how the husband would like literally suck out the milk for them.

And I quite honestly thought that was a bit of a stretch. So did Abby. Abby was like, I feel like that's just made up. Like there's no way that anyone ever does that. That just seems weird. They probably just have a kink for that crap, you know? Like let's be honest. It just seems too crazy. Let me just go start from this. What do you want to say? I've waned completely. And by the time of this trip, I hadn't pumped or –

Really hadn't nursed in it forever. But hadn't pumped for like 10 days. Nothing. Not even one time in 10 days. So I was like I should be in the clear. There's no way I'm going to need to bring a pump with me or anything like that.

So we're in the middle of nowhere, Missouri. 758 people in the town that we were in. Yeah. And then around it is not much either. We were three hours away from Matt's parents' house. There was about a church on every corner and probably seven American flags per person in the town. Very patriotic town. I honestly love it. I love the patriotism. Yeah. But there...

All that to say there weren't a lot of resources. Like there was not – I don't know if there was going to be like a clinic. Yeah, you can't just go to Target and buy a pump. Or there definitely wasn't a Target. There wasn't a Walmart. There wasn't like a lot of things. No, the only place to get food in this town – They had a Subway and a McDonald's and they were both at a gas station. Yeah, so that – let me just paint the picture there. But as time starts to progress, I'm like there is –

There's something weird going on on my left side. There's some tingling, like a little burning feeling. I felt this before and I was like, but surely it can't be milk because I don't, I'm not producing anymore. I stopped all that.

And as the days progressed, and I really mean I had this for days. And I was like, it's going to work itself out. It's going to be fine. It started to wake me up in the night with like just not pain, but it's hard. It's the best way I can describe it is like it's similar to when you feel like you have to go to the bathroom. Like I don't really think that's even that accurate. But moms out there, you know what I'm talking about. If you know, if you know, you know.

It was just something that was waking me up. My body was telling me something was wrong. And then I start to feel this lump get bigger and bigger. And it got to the point where I literally looked in the mirror and I could visibly see like a lump. And I was like, I can't let this continue because when I've even, some of you may know, if you have a clogged milk duct, it can get infected and cause an infection called mastitis, which is truly horrible. Like mastitis is,

I've had bad experiences with it. It's terrifying. Imagine getting mastitis after you had your kid nine months ago. Does it happen though? It must happen, I guess. I'm sure it can happen. And so I get mastitis. But then also if I got mastitis, I have no access to antibiotics here. And there was just...

I was really in a tough place. Yeah. I was like, I have to do something. So I'm in the shower. I'm like Googling things. I'm in the shower. Also, my phone didn't work. So I did feel kind of like, oof, I don't know what to do. But I did know that I would try to massage it out. I was talking to my sister-in-law. She's like, yeah, just get in the shower and massage it out. I'm like massaging. Literally nothing is happening. And so I'm like, what in the world do I do? And so I go to you, Matt. And I'm like, so...

If you don't want to do this, we're just going to pretend like I never said this and we're going to carry on like normal and we're not going to do this. No, you actually didn't even bring it up. You just said, my boob hurts. My milk is stuck. Like my milk duct is clogged. That's what I said. My boob hurts. My milk is stuck. Something along those lines. And I was like, do you want me to suck it out? Like I didn't know. But you didn't suck it out.

Because you kept bringing up the problem over and over again. I'm like, I was like, I know. I'm like, you know what the solution is for that, right? I just wanted there to be a solution. A different option. It was one of those things where I was like, do you want to talk about your feelings or do you want me to fix the problem? And eventually, after you brought it up multiple times, I was like, okay, can we just go ahead and do this? Because I feel like you're asking me to fix the problem. Here's what I wanted. I wanted to bring it up and you'd be like, honey, this is normal.

Like, don't feel embarrassed. Like, I know that, like, I want you to say, like, the most comforting things because, but the way you

You responded. You seemed grossed out at the prospect. Where do you get these scripts from? When I like with what I'm supposed to say for something like that. I don't remember exactly what you said. And I'm not saying it had to be like script worthy. I'm just saying like, I felt embarrassed, which I don't really feel. I mean, we've been together for eight years. We've seen a lot. We've been through a lot. I don't really feel embarrassed around you anymore. But for some reason, this was making me feel embarrassed. And so I was like, I don't want to do this anymore.

And the more I was like, I don't know if I have another option. I tried to get Augie to nurse. He has not nursed for like five months. You tried for about half a second. He wasn't going to. You put him on your boob and he went, ah. And before he even finished his initial ah, you were like, we're done. Matt, did you think that he would? You got to try harder than that to get him to latch on. He wasn't going to latch. I will give you that. That's what I'm saying. I wasn't going to try harder because there's no way he was going to do it. But I felt like...

When you were doing that, it was like, you have no intention of trying to get this kid to latch though. When you did it, because it was so quick. I barely tried because I knew it was a lost cause. Basically what happened, I don't even know how to describe this. Do you want to describe it?

Not in any kind of detail. How detailed do we want to get here? Not at all. Okay. I'm going to leave out some different parts of the story, but it was trapped for sure. So once the clog came out, thanks to Matt, it just started spraying. Like I would not even, I cannot even, I'm not exaggerating. It was a spray. And I was like, get a cop.

And so I got a cup and it's all, there was probably two ounces in that cup. Well, I thought the cup might be a little bit overkill because I had a whole towel to hold down all the liquid and stuff. No, we needed the cup. It just, yeah, we probably filled up, what would you say, a third of that cup? Okay, Matt's trying to act like it was expired. I'm not a scientist, but I don't think your body can have expired milk. Dude, that milk was expired. Nobody wants to drink that. Huh?

No, that's probably what it tastes like. It sat in there for so long. I've tasted your... Milk has come into my mouth before in other ways. I'm not going to get into detail about that. But in those times, it's actually not tasted bad. I'm like, wow, this is actually... This is great stuff. Like, no wonder my kids like to drink this. Yes, this time it was nasty. Like, I was about to gag with it in my mouth. There was no... Because at first I was thinking, frick, do I need to swallow this? I was like, do I literally need to swallow this nasty old...

you know, seven day old milk. It tasted like spoiled milk. So I, I initially was like, I guess I'll just have to drink it because I don't know what else I'll do. But it just made sense to spit it in the cup because I would have thrown up for sure. If I would have had to drink that milk, I would have thrown it up. I'm done talking about this. This is so nasty and weird. Just, just know that if this ever happens to you, don't be embarrassed. It's perfectly normal. It's perfectly normal.

afterwards I thought that you were like thinking it was like a you haven't talked about it with me like I was like I was kind of brought it up like are we okay like is that are we okay like is this something we're gonna laugh about or is this something we're just never gonna talk about again and you've never talked about it so then I'm like are you traumatized that was very funny

Are you traumatized? I'm not traumatized. No. Are you traumatized? Yes. Maybe you're... Yeah, you are traumatized because you haven't wanted to talk about it. It's so weird. Well, I mean, I like want to talk about it because I want other people to be like, oh, yeah, the same thing happened to me. It's not that weird. But I haven't gotten that response yet. But I know it's happened to other people. So if that's you, just like let me know. Say, hey, it's okay. My husband...

had to help me out one time and you know I really thought that this was just something that people were like you know exaggerating um like it didn't need to happen but they just kind of did that I don't know like it was like a good story for them no like it like legit happened and it needed to happen and I have video evidence of a cup of it afterwards so yeah I was like maybe we should give this to the baby it's two ounces of milk breast milk and it's gotta be better than formula and you were like no it's expired

It was definitely expired. So we didn't give it to the baby either. It just went in the trash. Thank you to Proz for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. My goal is to grow out my hair as long as I can possibly stand it. And it's going well. My hair is growing rapidly. It looks really good. Your hair is so beautiful. I've been in my hair care era and a big part of that has been investing in...

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Back to the episode. What did you think about the muggy weather in Missouri? Sorry, am I looking at you weird? I just feel so... Is your vertigo hitting you? It doesn't go away. Weird. Can you tell in my eyes? I can't tell that anything is going on. Oh, I hate humidity and it's

Official. Yeah. It was actually insane. Like it was, I think 73 degrees one of the days that we were outside and it felt so hot. It felt worse than 100 degrees here. All the humidity just made you...

It felt like you were swimming in the heat. It was crazy. And with the sun out, not a good time. I love being in dry weather. When you're in Phoenix and it's 73, you almost need to put a jacket on. Yeah, it's kind of cold. Kind of cold. I'm going to put on a coat. Yeah, maybe that's the thing. People are always like, people in Arizona are so dramatic. It's like, no, maybe 73 actually feels colder here. It does. 100%.

One million thousand percent. But then I do also think that we kind of adjust too. Yeah. Also the bugs were kind of out of control there. Like when you're in a small town. Yeah. Cicadas. They're everywhere in the Midwest right now. You like walk up to any tree and there's like a million cicadas in the tree. It's disgusting. And they're so loud.

it's really gross griffin was playing with them he was touching the bugs they're molted it was so funny yeah he was playing with them he wasn't scared he's not afraid of bugs today i saw outside at our house there was a cockroach he griffin started playing with the cockroach you keep saying cockroach there's no way it was actually a cockroach i saw a cockroach today at our house are you sure it wasn't like a beetle a big bug could have been a beetle at our house cockroaches are like a big deal

But it was outside, not inside the house. I know, but even that, right? That kid is fearless. He says bog. One thing that almost went wrong at the wedding, though, is we were about to not have a ring bearer because our son would not let go of me to walk down the aisle. Yeah, so our whole plan was Abby was going to be at the end of the aisle with like a treat for Griffin or some sort of surprise. We call it like...

his treats like we give him fruit snacks or a cookie like we call that a surprise so abby was waiting at the end of the aisle for me to deliver griffin i didn't have a surprise for him i was a surprise oh okay but we knew that if if griffin was going to choose to run to any one parent it would be abby and so yeah oh my gosh my head i'm sorry so that was the whole plan and

Basically, I was holding him. It was about time for him to run down and he would not let go of me. Every time I set him down, he started to cry. He wanted me to hold him. And then I basically just distracted him enough to where he forgot that he wanted me to hold him. And I mentioned, hey, Griffin, do you see mama at the end? Go run to mama. And so as soon as the flower girls took off, I got him to take off with them too. But it was like a 50-50 shot of if he was going to go down the aisle or not. Yeah.

He looked so cute. So, so cute. He was holding his little sides, like lapels of his little suit jacket. And he looked so proud. He was giggling as he was walking down because he just loved all the attention. He looked so cute in his outfit. Our youngest, Augie, was too thick to fit in his outfit. We couldn't even button the top button.

We couldn't button the cuffs of his sleeves. And that was a one-year-old suit. Yeah, and he's not even one yet. It was crazy. I mean, he was just so thick in that outfit. And then the venue we were at was kind of hot. So after unbuttoning the top button, my mom unbuttoned his whole entire shirt to where Augie was just like... They were calling him Rico Suave. That's what they called him. Yeah, so I was very proud of Griffin. He walked all the way down. He was smiling. He was...

giggling. He loves attention. It went well. It's just, weddings were different without kids. Like, you could kind of just like, it kind of felt like a date, like,

like a free date night yeah it really was a date when we went to weddings it was so magical we got to really connect with one another but now it's got to actually eat our food at the same time kind of like trading off who's gonna chase the kid around yeah because we're trying not to be the parents that just hand our kid an ipad and let them watch screens and look we'll admit it we kind of had to do that on the plane we would have we would have lost it we would have i brought so many activities

And we did do the activities with the kids, but on a three-hour flight, or I think it was actually closer to four hours, you cannot keep a kid entertained without a screen. I don't know how people did back in the day. Yeah, I'm like, well, they used to, but... There's probably a lot more screaming involved. Well, I think there's a lot more travel now, too. Yeah. But that was the first time I was like, man, I'm kind of jealous of...

Of the parents that feel comfortable giving their kid an iPad or like a screen. Yeah. Because there were kids there that were just like lined up and just sitting in place and just chill watching something. And then I was like, but I have to remember why we do this because I just, I don't think that's a good...

I think it's a slippery slope. Yeah. And I want our kids to be able to like be in public settings. But right now, it's just probably the hardest time it will ever be though. I feel like he'll start to chill out. And also then if he's playing, he can be more independent when he's a little older. You can make the decision that your kids aren't going to use screens. But then if they're playing with other kids that are handed iPads –

you kind of lost the battle in a way. Yeah. Because you can't be like, stay away from them. Yeah. Like, they're going to just kind of mooch off of, like, the other kid's screen and watch whatever they're watching or watch them play something. You're so right. So it's kind of hard. But every parent's allowed to make their own decision, so there's nothing wrong with them choosing that. But... You know what's kind of funny? What? I never drink unless I'm with family. When I'm around my family...

I feel like we have alcohol because there's a party going on or we're at a wedding or with your family. Same thing. People just tend to drink more and nothing, nothing wrong with that. But I wasn't planning on like drinking at the wedding, really. But then I but then I did. And it actually ended up being a great time, though. I don't regret it.

I had four. That's a lot more than you normally have. I'm also a 200 pound man. So four for a 200 pound man is- You were probably drunk though, knowing you. I was not drunk. You're so- I definitely don't hold my alcohol. Like some guys to get to the level I was at, like I was feeling the buzz for sure. But for some guys, like to feel the way I felt would need to drink like eight. Yeah.

You know, like some big boys. Was there a reason that you didn't drink at the wedding? It was a cash bar. That's what it was. You didn't want to spend the money on the alcohol. Yeah. And I also don't care about alcohol enough to pay for it. That's funny. See, my Uncle Bob opened up a tab and he was like, Matt...

I've got two drinks for you. Just like, don't go crazy. But if you want, you know, some alcohol, I got you. I was like, okay. So like, how does that work with a tab though? Like, could you just say like anyone's name? I feel like, yeah, people could abuse it for sure. But then you would need to know the person's name who had the open tab. Well, you could have sucked Uncle Bob dry. I only got one drink on Uncle Bob's tab. I didn't want to abuse it. And I wasn't going to, I was like, should I just pay for it myself? But then since he offered to me, I was like,

I wonder if he'd be offended if I didn't take him up on his offer. So I took him up and I got myself a Kentucky Mule. I also didn't feel like I could drink because I was with the kids. Like there's no way I would be able to. People drink when they're with their kids. I know, but it was just a lot. My parents. I was already overstimulated. Like at family gatherings, my parents would drink. I just have never seen my parents drunk. But our kids are babies and toddlers. That's one thing that I never want. I never want our kids to see us drunk. I will never be drunk. Not that we get drunk, but.

I think I don't think that's good for your kids to see you drunk. If you're going to get drunk. OK fine. But don't do it around your kids. Why. Because I agree with you but I'm just curious because I think it sets a bad example. I think it makes you seem reckless. I think it makes you seem careless. Yeah.

Yeah, it's kind of scary if your mom or dad's out of control because you're like, they're supposed to be the ones that are keeping us grounded and safe. Like, I always knew my dad's limit was three beers at a family gathering, which my dad definitely has a higher tolerance than me. He also weighs more than me. So my dad can probably drink more than I could.

But yeah, I knew that he was drinking responsibly and he wasn't someone that would even drink every day. It was really only at special occasions, parties, stuff like that. I've never seen my parents drunk. Same, same. Which I'm thankful that they had that example. I will say though, I feel like the whole...

of it being 21 to drink in America, I feel like that fuels more underage drinking. Or I feel like it fuels more reckless drinking, if that makes sense. Because I think all these kids who aren't 21 who are in college, they get a thrill out of like, quote unquote, breaking the law. Because they're really not going to get that trouble. I think it's so common that they're not even thinking about the fact that they're breaking the law. That's true. I guess that could be fair. Matt, there was underage drinking happening around cops.

our college when we would have like a tailgate yeah there was alcohol on campus and yeah I know that everyone consuming that alcohol was

That some people were under 21 and there were cops there for the gang. It is pretty crazy, though, that in this country you can vote and serve your country at 18, but you can't drink a beer at 18. That is pretty crazy. Not that it's good for you, because I think alcohol is actually horrible for you. I don't think you should... I don't think it should be something that you form into a habit. Well, that was also why I didn't drink. I don't really care about it enough to...

appreciate it enough that the damage makes it feel worth it. Shout out to my brother, Josh. Yeah. He was with Griffin for part of the wedding. Yeah. Chasing him around. But yeah. But yeah, poor Griffin. He was so, so worked up by the end of the night. I did something I've literally never done with him. You guys co-slept. We co-slept because he was so worked up. But it was horrible, right? It was horrible. It was horrible for both of us.

And I don't understand, honestly, how these parents that co-sleep, like, I don't understand how that works. You have a different type of child than I have because my child, first of all, he face planted off the bed, which made me feel terrible. In the middle of the night, he's like, boom. He's so tough, though. He just, he's cried for one second, then he went back to sleep, like, as I was holding him. But,

hour, hour and a half, he'd go, mama, mama, mama. I'm like, I'm right here. Go back to sleep. Or every like 30 minutes, I would just get a palm in my face. He's like touching me to see if I'm still there, touching my face. And the pitch black darkness, I'm like, hi, buddy, go to sleep. Like we both slept terrible. He normally sleeps 12 hours a night. He slept not even nine. My favorite part of that story is you said when you'd say, go back to sleep, he would pretend to go back to sleep and go. He's like, shh.

I'm like, no, really go to sleep. Because I play that game with Griffin all the time. I always, I'll be like, okay, Griffin, I'm going to go to bed. Night, night, buddy. And I'll be like, shwee, wee, wee. So he knows, like to him, that's going to sleep. But I don't think he realizes that when he is asleep, that that's actually him sleeping. Yeah, so what am I supposed to say? Because I kept saying go to bed. And then he's like, you're going to put it back in the pack and play. And he said, he kept pointing the pack and play. He said, baby. And I'm like, no, that's not for babies. That's for you. Oh, my God.

Oh, it was such a mess. Like he really did not sleep. We, neither one of us slept good. It was so sweet though. Like he kept gripping onto me and cuddling me in the night, but then it was just something that it's not, it's not very conducive to having a good night's rest. Well, he was having, he was having so much trouble going to bed and I figured out a little hack. So what I do now is I give him two binkies to hold in his hands while I read him his books before bedtime. And then I also give him a teddy bear to

hold. So now he has not only a binky in his mouth and binkies in his hands, but he also has a little friend. And then I show him, I'm like, Griffin, we're going to put a koala bear in your bed. Okay. So then we put a stuffed animal in his bed as well. And now he's just surrounded by binkies and stuffed animals. And we sing and we read books and...

It just calms him down. And literally last night was the first night in like a week where he did not cry once. He got in his crib. Boom. Lights out. It was awesome. Do you need to burp your face? I did. I did need to burp, but I don't like when you do that. I got rid of it. I'm sorry about that. I can't put our kid to bed anymore. I mean, I do. And it just is a train wreck. He cries. When you put him down, he cries. But with me...

I think he knows that I have more tough love than you do because he knows that if he cries for like a sucker with you, you'll give him the sucker with me. If he cries to get like something that he wants, but I know it's not good for him, I'm not going to give it to him. That's the truth. You're a sucker. You'll give him cookies. You'll give him suckers. You do that. I'm kind of the of the opinion that you need to. I love that opinion. I just think age plays a big factor and he's only one. Yeah.

Yeah, but... I understand you need to start now. You can't just implement that later, but... At the same time, I don't want to just give Griffin what he wants when he screams. I'm the only one that's given our kid a timeout, though. No, I've done stuff like that before. Did you call it a timeout? I have not officially given him a timeout. I have officially given him two timeouts. Okay. And really, he wasn't even upset about it. He just needed to calm down. He gets so worked up. And I think it's because he has your energy. He starts to go crazy.

I bet you our kids have ADHD like me. I would not be surprised. I would not be surprised at this point either, but maybe he's just a normal toddler, honestly. But he gets so sweaty. His face gets red. He can't like, he cannot slow down his body. And I'm like, you're a danger to yourself and others. So you're going to be by yourself for one minute. It's literally just one minute. Yeah. And then he kind of calms down. Kind of. I had to because he bit me in the butt.

He's been biting me too. Yeah. What's up with that? It's not even a malicious thing. It's not like he's doing it when he's mad. He gets so excited. He just wants to bite. He gets excited and he wants to bite. It's like a happy bite. It's like, I love you. And yet he'll say happy. If he's happy, he says happy.

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If you guys want to see an adorable, adorable video, go to Matt's Instagram and

It's underscore... Wait, Matt underscore Howard underscore... It's underscore Matt underscore Howard underscore. Okay. Probably if you search Matt Howard, it might come up. Yeah, it'll probably come up there. Anyway, there's an adorable video of Griffin walking down the aisle. He's just teeter... Like, what is it? Skipping down the aisle. Yeah. To Matt's new song, Happy I'm Alive.

That song has been... We've been singing it around the house nonstop since you showed it to us. What I love is when I play my music, our kids just start dancing. Yeah, Griffin goes, da-da, and starts clapping. Griffin will start jumping up and down, and I love it. And I'm like, I don't know if that's... Does that mean that my music falls into the category of Elmo music? No. I don't know. I hope that it's a higher caliber than that, but our kids...

They like dance and stuff. I know. Especially in the car. They'll start clapping in the car if we play one of my songs. And he'll say, Dada, he knows when it's you singing. And it's so sweet. Wait, he recognizes my voice in the song? Yes. I didn't realize that. I thought he just thought it was... Let's do it after this and you'll see. He knows that it's me. He says, Dada. Wait, that's so sweet. Yeah, it's really sweet. Wait, what? I didn't know that. Yeah, we've been listening to Dada's music a lot. This song is...

so happy. Like it's just giving, what's the song that it's like? It's like, uh, giving happy by Pharrell Williams. No, it's well, yes, but, uh, it's gonna be a good day. Good day for us, Frank. It's good. It's channeling that energy. Yes. Gotcha. It makes me happy. I want to vibe to it in the car. I want to listen to it in the morning as I'm getting ready. I want to make a video, like an Instagram story of my morning coffee while I'm

to this song. And this is honestly my genre of music. Like how I've described you, you're like, what kind of music do you like? I'm like, I don't know. I just like happy music. You did have that happy playlist that you'd play in the morning to help get you ready for your day. I just like happy music. Yeah. I like something that's easy on the ears. I don't want something with a lot of heavy emotion. I don't want something that's, I just want to be happy. I want it to be joyful, uplifting, simple. But this one's not, I wouldn't say it's simple, but...

But it's just easy to listen to. It's easy to throw on at any time of the day. Yeah. And it really makes me happy. What's that group that Camila Cabello came out of? Fifth Harmony. Fifth Harmony. That's the name. She came from Fifth Harmony? You didn't know that? Wait, why do I love Fifth Harmony? You do because your morning playlist was a bunch of Fifth Harmony songs. So now I'm like maybe you could add Happy I'm Alive to your morning playlist. Oh, yeah. We can add it. So the song is officially out. You can go listen to it.

And it was really sweet. While I was practicing my music on guitar, I realized, wait a second, I need to start playing some more songs that Griffin can vibe with.

Not that he doesn't vibe with my music, but he's a big fan of like Old MacDonald Had a Farm, Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes. And so I've also recently been playing those songs for my kids. Yeah, he loves Old MacDonald. He'll like come up to me. I'll have the guitar and he'll be like, cow? Because we let him choose the animal. Like he had a... And then he'll say... And his favorite is to say he had a griffin. And then we say with a...

Yeah. Yeah. So we do interactive guitar playing with Griffin and he loves to pick out the animals. I love when he does. I can't wait for Auggie to be able to do that too. I know. That's going to happen soon. It really will. He's crawling fast. It's actually crazy how quick he can get around. I know. Now he's at that stage where everyone's like, he's going to be walking any day. He's speedy. I don't think he's going to be walking anytime soon.

I think he's too thick. Yeah. Are you excited for our anniversary trip? I am. I'm very stoked. Guys, we're going to Cabo. Especially after that wedding trip. I was like, man, we need a mommy daddy solo trip. We're going to Cabo. We're sending it and going to a nice resort. We're going to lay out. For only three nights. Rebooks. I think it's all you can eat.

Oh, heck yeah it is. Are we going to eat everything that we can? We've been there two other times. Yeah. So we know what it's going to be like and we know it's going to be amazing. I'm guessing we got the, I think we have the all you can eat package with our, with our stay. I think we have that. I'm going to eat all I can eat no matter what. Okay. I'm just kidding. Uh,

Yeah, we know that it's just like... It's kind of a trip that we do that wouldn't have been fun before we had kids, honestly. Yeah. But now that we have kids, it's so nice to just lounge around and hang out at the pool and eat food. It's so relaxing. Because it's different, you know? Whereas like before when we go on a trip...

Just us. We would want to hike and do a bunch of stuff, which I think we're going to get back to that stage once our kids are a little less needy. Okay. You said that you were like, Matt, I want to go backpacking with you. I do. The Nepali coast on Kauai in Hawaii. Yeah. I was like, yes, that sounds amazing. That sounds like my type of trip, which I know a lot of people aren't down for that stuff because being outdoors...

Well, not showering. Two nights is my max. For a backpacking trip. Yeah. I've also never been backpacking. So I feel like we should go with people that have done it before. Yeah. I don't really think I know what I'm getting myself into, but it sounds fun. And I'm ready to do something adventurous. Probably once Augie turns one. Yeah. Because now I'm like, I just want to chill by the pool because I never get to do that. I get that. I totally get that. Mother's day. I got to do that. Yeah. That was nice. Um,

So, yeah. I mean, backpacking, I really don't know how to do that, if I'm being honest. But I know I want to do that. Okay. Because I think it would just be such a cool experience to sleep with...

You know, the crickets chirping around you, you know, cicadas in the air. No, for me, it's not about sleeping outside. That's the worst part of it for me. The good part for me is the feeling of like I hiked this distance and I got to see this whole journey. I got to see all the sights along the journey. And then I yeah, I'm not excited about the sleeping.

I just love being in nature because- We don't even have plans to do this. It just makes you appreciate our earth and how beautiful it is. And I love- Okay, something about me-

I love stars like you get out underneath the stars at night in a place that doesn't have light pollution or you know pollution of some sort in the air and you can see the sky just glow with stars and it is breathtaking I love doing that and so I can just envision us backpacking with all the stars overhead and just yeah taking it all in are you a big fan of the stars

No, I don't really care about the stars. You don't really care about the stars? Why not? I mean, I think they're pretty, but I don't really think about them like you do. Why do you not think about them? Like, isn't it kind of cool that they're thousands of light years away and we can see them? I just don't think about it like that.

Do you have any desire to go to the moon? No. Really? Matt, are you surprised? Wouldn't that be so fun to do like a double backflip on the moon? Because there's like not very much gravity there. You know Elon Musk is like making that a thing, right? Like one day we will be able to go into space. People are already going into space. Richard Branson, he's a billionaire who owns like a bunch of companies. He went into space recently, like last year. He just went up there. Just say he did. That's good for him. Would you ever do that? No. Why not? I don't...

want to there's literally no reason I would ever want to do that but like you could tell people I went to freaking space how long does it take I think it's pretty quick like if you're just going up and I think you go just up and down dude I get car sick driving to Van Buren Missouri you think I can get an air air spaceship to the moon that's that's fair yeah that's fair um I think you I don't think I

I'm cut out for that. Now that you bring up the car sickness thing, I think you would hate space. Like, I think it would, you'd probably start throwing up all over yourself. I have vertigo here on Earth. You would get vertigo times 10 with zero gravity. I just think that sounds horrible. And plus, like, I'm going to be away from my family and I'm going to be really, really far away.

You go to the doctor way too much to go up into space. Like, I feel like you're going to the doctor every other week, you know? I haven't gone since I got an IUD except for today because I have vertigo. Like, I realize with all the medical bills. I literally haven't been to the doctor in over six months. Wait, really?

Oh, I would have thought you went more recently than that. Are you sure about that? I feel like you go to the doctor way more than that. I did go when I had strep. Yes, that's right. So I've been once in six months because I had strep throat. Crazy. And you went to the doctor then too.

I did because you got me sick, but it wasn't strep. They misdiagnosed you. They totally did. You went to a really sketchy, like, pop-up doctor, though. It's called My Doctor Now. It looked like the outside just looks like someone is, you know, peddling something. No, it honestly looks like Napa Know How. Branding? You know what I mean? Yeah, the branding was kind of funky. Napa Know How. Napa Know How. Napa Know How. Yeah, that's what it looked like. I was like, yeah, this seems right. I don't know.

Okay, would you ever ride in a race car? No. You wouldn't go in a race car? I get sick driving a van for Missouri. Would you ever go in a fighter jet? No. Why not? Okay, what about, you know the planes? This is actually really sick and I would love to do this with you. You've skydived, so maybe you'd do this. Okay. But the plane gets up really high in the air and then they shut off the engines and it just drops. Oh no. Oh no.

But it drops. And so because you're inside the plane and you're falling at the same rate the plane's falling, it feels like there's zero gravity. So it feels like you're in space, but you're actually not in space. I have no desire to do that. Okay, last question. There is apparently...

a plane in Vegas called the Mile High Club plane and it's literally a service where you get... Okay. Absolutely not. I'll just say no too because it's one thing to join the Mile High Club but if you did it in a plane that was only for the Mile High Club, that would just be kind of gross so you know that everyone else is just doing it. I mean, that's like also every hotel in the world. That is actually true. But the fact that it's advertised that way makes it more nasty. Okay, why is it weird? Like, sometimes if...

like has sex at their friend's house but like in the guest bedroom are we saying that word on our podcast I think we can say it's a medical term so I want to say we can say it I don't think it is a medical term sex that is 1000% a medical term I think they say intercourse but why is that weird if it's like oh man like if someone stayed over at my house and it's like okay that couple definitely did because it's taboo to talk about it they definitely did intercourse in the guest bedroom but when you stay at a hotel it's not weird that

there's probably been thousands of people that have done intercourse in the bed you're sleeping in. Because you don't know those people.

No, but it's infinitely more weird because like they've been in the room. Like their germs might be still in there somewhere somehow because they're not cleaning the comforter. You know the comforter on the hotel bed? They don't clean that every time. You're joking. I'm not joking. They clean the sheets and the pillowcases, but the comforter, they don't clean that every time. Heck no. I think they do. I don't think they do, babe. They lay something on top of it, Shirley, and wash that. Airbnbs, for sure, they're not cleaning the comforter every time. I don't want to think about that. For a fact. For a fact.

I don't want to think about that. And there's been like a thousand people that have done the intercourse on that bed. Hmm. Yeah. Well, watch me never stay in a hotel again. Just kidding. I don't know if that's possible. That doesn't really bother me. We could always get... I mean, it's nasty, but it's like it's not going to stop me from staying in a hotel. RVs are a thing. We could do an RV. No, I really don't care. Like, I go to... I walk into a hotel. I'm like, yeah, that probably happened here, but...

Yeah. Now I'm here. So now it's my space. Didn't you say that your family heard people doing it while they were in the hotel room and it was so loud? Yeah. Well, it wasn't me. I wasn't there. Oh, you weren't there. It was my dad, my grandpa, my brother. What would you do in that situation? There's so many factors. What time is it? How loud is it? How long has it been going on for? If it's something that's like...

completely ridiculous, I would call the front desk and have them do a noise complaint. Thank you to Rocket Money for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. It's so easy to kind of lose track of where our money is going nowadays with how many subscription services are out there, how many free trial offers there are that you forget to cancel. Things just

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rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. Back to the episode. Our neighbors in Hawaii disclosed to us that they could hear us after we left. Why are we always talking about this subject? I don't know how this got brought up. It wasn't me. You brought up the Mile High Club plane. Oh, yeah, because we were talking about going to space. That's how we got here. Yeah, space always leads to that topic of fornication. I seriously think space would be so cool, though, to go visit. How do you feel about forcing kids to eat vegetables? What? What?

That was random. I'm all for that. And actually, I don't even have to force Griffin to eat his vegetables because I'll eat vegetables next to him. And then he thinks it's cool because he's like, oh, I want to be like dad and eat peas. Exactly. I don't think you can. I think that's the way to do it. You can't force him. I don't think you should force him to eat it. You can't force them to eat anything. But you can model it and you can talk about the advantages of vegetables.

And that is why I don't think you should get drunk in front of your kids because if you're modeling getting drunk, your kids are going to get drunk. Yes. Period. Yes. So, no, I don't think you should force your kids to eat vegetables. I think you should always offer it, put it on their plate. Like, you know how little kids' plates have, like, sections? I would always put a vegetable on there and then they can watch me eat vegetables and then they want to eat vegetables. And you could also talk about how they're good for their bodies and how they're going to, you know, they're rich in fiber, which our body needs. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what's crazy? Yesterday, I was eating a big bowl of peas like I usually do. I'm a big fan of peas. They're my favorite vegetable. One bag of frozen peas, people, has like 20 grams of protein. It's insane. That's why they make pea protein out of peas.

I don't actually drink that. Yeah, but Matt, think about it. You could either eat a whole bag of peas or you could eat like one scoop of protein powder. But the pea protein is nasty and I love the taste of peas, hate the taste of pea protein. It's like they're two different things in my blood. I don't love the taste of peas, so that's why I'm out on that. Oh yeah, that's right. You don't like peas. But Griffin wanted to eat the peas.

And he ate a ton of peas, but he left a few on his plate outside because we were outside while this happened. The whole pea situation was an outside ordeal. And guess what? I went back to get the plate of peas a couple hours later. It's so freaking dry here in Arizona. Yeah, they can be pea raisins. They shriveled up. They looked like raisins. Yeah. Because...

The moisture just went away. Is that how crazy? Yeah, they have a choking hazard. Is that not insane though? I believe it. I feel like that's what happens to me when I step outside. When I wake up in the morning here because I didn't drink water while I was sleeping, I always feel so dry in the morning. Yeah. I need coffee. Yeah. Coffee actually dehydrates you. I love some good old coffee. I love coffee.

How do you feel about letting kids have dessert every night after dinner? Okay, is this just turning into a Q&A? Like, what's going on right here? I'm just quizzing you on parenting things. Okay. Dessert.

I'm okay with that. I just think we got to be careful. Every night. Every single night. Yeah, every night after dinner. I think every night dessert is okay as long as the portion size is controlled. I agree. That's a great answer. High five. I'm glad that we agree on that one. How do you feel about allowing kids to pick their own outfits even if they are like crazy?

I'm for that. I think that's good. I think it's sweet. I love it too. Like when you see a little kid in like an Iron Man costume just at the grocery store, I think it's adorable. But I do have caveats this one. Like if we were going to a wedding or something where it could be distracting. Oh, yeah. To like...

It's not about you, Iron Man. You don't want to show up in your Iron Man costume to your grandpa's funeral. Yeah, we have to think about setting. And that's the way in extreme circumstances. If it's school, you have to abide by the dress code. But if you're going to the grocery store, you're going to a play date or the park, wear whatever the heck you want. That's how I feel. That's good stuff. Occasionally skipping a hygiene routine. Like no baths, no brushed teeth. Yeah, we do that all the time. We don't do it all the time.

But if we've had like a crazy day and it's like, all right, we're going to skip bath time tonight. Like that happens. Well, we don't do a bath every night if it's been a crazy day. Okay, I would say we do bath like five or six times a week though.

But we will skip it if it's like it's already past the bedtime and like they didn't get super dirty. But yeah, so I'm like, OK, it's OK to every once in a while do that. But I definitely wouldn't want to make a habit of it. It's gross. They get so dirty. It's important, especially when they're just outside in their flip flops. What I think all the time is the fact that they poop their pants every day. I'm like, they need a bath.

If I pooped my pants during the day, I would be taking a shower before I go to bed. I am looking forward to when we potty train our kids so that we don't have to keep wiping their poopy butts. See, I don't mind. The stench. I don't mind the diapers. The stench is insane, though.

Yeah, but also diapers just don't really get to me anymore. I'm not phased by poop. I'm not phased by vomit. I'm not phased by snot or buggers. It was fine. Like, Griffey used to have these, like, really solid turds. And to me, those were no problem. Like, I couldn't smell it. The diarrhea ones are the ones that get me. I'm like...

This is unbelievable that this little amount of poop can overtake my nose like that. It's also satisfying for me, though. Like, once I clean a really bad day where I'm like, you must feel so much better. Yeah. Then I feel satisfied. That's awesome. How do you feel about lying to kids? Ooh, like about Santa Claus and stuff? Yeah. I think white lies are okay.

I feel like this one I'm up in the air on. Like, I've heard of people, they'll lie to their kids about past relationships or if they had a past marriage. Some people will completely conceal that stuff from their children. Yeah.

Maybe age is a big important thing in this one. That's true. Little kids. Yeah. I guess there's probably circumstances where it's okay. What do you think? This is actually kind of funny. I heard there's a celebrity that their husband drinks non-alcoholic beer because he used to be an alcoholic and he quit. And their daughter wanted to drink non-alcoholic beer and they let her because it's...

It's not alcohol. It's fine. Anybody can drink that. It doesn't matter if you're 5 or 50. But it tastes like beer. It tastes like beer, but it's not alcoholic beer. And so now their daughter drinks non-alcoholic beer. What do you think about that? I don't know why. I can't give you a reason why, but it feels wrong.

It feels wrong? It feels wrong, but I guess it's not. So if Griffin wanted to drink non-alcoholic beer, would you let him? At what age? Let's say he's eight years old and wants to drink non-alcoholic beer. I would say no. Really? I would totally let him. Like a sip, sure. No, I would, honey, if it's non-alcoholic, that'd be fine. But don't you think you could

think you could be developing a taste for it like a palate like you like what you do with coffee like the more you drink it the more you like it true but couldn't you just still drink that non-alcoholic type like you don't have to drink alcoholic beer it seems like it

Right? It feels wrong. Like that's like saying I don't want to get hooked on energy drinks which taste sweet so I'm not going to drink another sweet drink. You know what I mean? Like you can still have a sweet drink that isn't an energy drink. I would just think of all the beverages in the world and I'm like you're going to choose that? That's coming from the lady that's giving her kid coffee though. Hey! Here's a sip! He loves it! I'm just kidding.

- It is so funny, he is obsessed with coffee. - He is obsessed with coffee. - I don't understand, like he just loves to watch us make it. I think the process interests him. He likes to press all the buttons on the machine.

He's very fascinated by the process of coffee. But something, even if it's caffeine-free coffee, I feel like it's fine to give your kid. See, but why does even that feel wrong? You mean decaf coffee, not caffeine-free coffee? Oh, yeah. Decaf. Sorry. That's a word. Decaf. But see, like, yes, we've done that, but then didn't it feel wrong? Kind of. So it's the same thing. He's freaking one, though. Like, come on. Oh, so age does play a factor. Okay, because he's one. Like...

He's a one-year-old. I don't know. You asked my opinion. I gave it to you. If you don't like it, then... All right. Okay. How do you feel about leashes on children? What? So, what are these questions? Okay. Leashes on children. I actually used to be a leash kid. My brother was a leash kid. Are you traumatized from that? Your brother? At Disney World.

We were both on leashes at Disney World. Honestly. Kind of a smart little plan. You know, if you have an ADHD child, leash that kid up. Safety. Yeah. I think you should teach them to stay with you, but in circumstances where you're like, well, we don't have time to teach you. We are in a crowded space where you're going to be tempted to walk off multiple times. Yeah. And there's strangers everywhere. So we're going to put you on a leash. I feel like there's something wrong with that. Yeah. I think we should normalize leashing your kids. Yeah.

Because it's for their safety, you know? Yeah. Well, thank you guys for watching the Unplanned Podcast. We are so happy that you are here. Abby needs to go because she's having some crazy vertigo right now. Whatever that means. She could be just making it up.

I'm just kidding. I believe you. I believe you. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. But yeah. I want you to have this. Can you get medicine for that? Yes. You can? Well, it depends on what the cause. They have to figure out what the cause of my vertigo is. Oh, so they know that it's vertigo. Yes. But they now need to figure out what's causing it. They're waiting for the blood test to come back. And if my levels are all normal, then they're going to have to. And I still have these symptoms. I have to go to a neuro doctor. Okay. Wow. Where they can study my inner ears. Man, that all just gave me a headache. And I think I need to go take an Excedrin. Okay.

I am not that person. I'm just kidding.