Our Due Date, Breastfeeding While pregnant & Baby Names
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- People are dying to know what is the due date of this baby? - Should we say it? - I don't drink really hardly at all. And postpartum I hadn't drank until I had that grapefruit beer when I was actually like three weeks pregnant. - It's not easy to have a baby, then have a double hernia repair, and then go right back to having another baby. - I'm almost nervous talking about this 'cause I know there's gonna be so many opinions in the comments. - Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure if we just look in the comments. - People will probably be like, "You should not be doing that!" Or people will be like, "Yes, mom, you must keep breastfeeding."

What's up dudes and welcome back to the unplanned podcast episode four you guys thank you so much for Blowing us up like honestly like we have been hitting the charts recently and it's because of you guys. I can't believe it, dude We're literally on episode four. Thank you to everyone that's been leaving us reviews on Apple podcast It's really helping us out. And if you haven't subscribed do that right now, it would mean a whole lot. So

It takes like two seconds to do a five-star review. Just do it. Abby showed on her Instagram story how fast you can leave a review. She did it in like, what, 15 seconds? It was so quick. She did five stars and said it was good and then submitted her review. It's all you gotta do. Yeah, and I think you can leave reviews on like Spotify too and other platforms. So leave a review. It really means a lot, you guys. So you guys have a lot of questions for us after having watched episode three. How do you feel right now? I honestly don't know how I feel. I feel...

kind of nervous actually at the time that we're recording this we just announced the whole entire world that we're pregnant and that it was a surprise pregnancy we got a lot of really good feedback we did get some you know a little bit of negative feedback but I would say like 99% was like so nice so many people were like reassuring me and it honestly brought tears to my eyes because it just felt so good to hear from other moms that were like you don't have to worry like

I felt the same way finding out I was pregnant with my second, but everything has been great. Like, our kids are just best friends. Like, everything will work out. And that felt, like, really, really, really reassuring to hear because –

I've been freaking out a little bit. Honestly, like this could happen to anybody. Like we understand how this works. We understand how babies are made. I mean, literally everyone does. And this stuff happens. And it's funny, our situation, we only had two times that were unprotected. And we have so many friends that literally told us verbatim, like that was us. Like we had the same thing. And like, we don't have another kid on the way. Like, so we've talked to so many people that have said that. And it's blown my mind. Things happen. Yeah. But the good thing is that we're married and we...

welcome kids with open arms. It's going to be great. We're super excited. And obviously it never really crossed our minds. It never crossed our minds to do anything different, but then to just like, you know, just switch everything around and make our life fit this new plan. But we had you guys submit questions on the Unplanned Podcast Instagram, and we have so many good questions to answer today. Should we just dive right in? Yeah, let's just dive right in. So the first question that people are dying to know, what is the due date of this baby? Should we say it? Yeah.

August 15th. I'm surprised you remember. Yes, well we had it up behind us in the previous episode. Oh that's true. So I don't know if you guys caught that Easter egg. In episode 2 we literally had August 15th on our like little date thing behind us. By the way, we're in Hawaii right now. We're filming while we're on a trip here. We're here for a month seeing some old friends.

And yeah, no, that's why we're not in the same studio. You guys were probably confused, but yes, we had that teaser up there. - Yeah, I'm kind of thinking this baby's gonna come early just 'cause we had Griffin early. - Oh yeah.

So it could be really cool if this baby came just four days early and was born on August 11th, which is my dad's birthday. Oh my gosh. Because Griffin was born on Matt's mom's birthday. Dude, that would be so sick. I didn't realize your dad's birthday was August 11th. What type of son-in-law are you? I'm sorry. I don't memorize birthdays. I just put it in the calendar. Anyway, I know your mom's birthday. Yeah, July 3rd, Griffin's birthday.

That would be amazing. I'm hoping that Griffin comes on your dad's birthday. That would be really cool. That would be so cool. So that makes me currently 15 weeks pregnant when you're watching this. Crap, dude. Yeah.

That is insane. This pregnancy has flown by. And it's because we're parents right now. And we are so busy. And it's a lot of work. Fun work. Most of the time. But like, no, it's crazy how fast this one's gone by. Wow. Like you're approaching 20 weeks already. What the freak? I know. That's crazy. I know.

I tell you what, I feel like it's going to become more and more real to you as you like start to see my bump. Yeah, well, I'm already seeing your bump right now. I can see your bump. I saw it today. It looks really cute. Really? Yes, it looks really, really cute. That was another question. Like, what does your bump look like? Should I show the bump for the people looking at the YouTube? Yeah, yeah. Let's give the... My pants are crooked because I can't butt the bump. Or I can, but it just hurts really bad. Yeah, for our video viewers, we're showing Abby's bump. Let's see it. Wow, wow, wow. With the unbuttoned pants and everything. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Actually, you know what? We'll put on the podcast Instagram a video from last night because last night was Valentine's Day when we're filming this and my bump was bumping after dinner. So we'll put that video on the Instagram podcast. It's unplanned podcast on Instagram. Check that out. It's pretty impressive. Like,

I did expect it to be bigger than it is at this point though because everyone always says you're bigger with your second. That's true, but I will say your bump has been popping out and I was worried that people would know before we told them because we've been telling our friends all week in Hawaii that we're pregnant. We have an exciting video coming of telling everyone that we're pregnant, but I was scared people were going to figure it out. No one would ask though.

ask though oh yeah oh nobody that would be horrible if you ask some woman that's like especially if they're not pregnant oh my gosh but i could clearly see grandma's done that three times oh my lord like ask someone their due date and they're like um actually i'm not pregnant that's hilarious

Or it's the worst if they just had a baby. Like it's understandable how that could happen, but it's just like, that's not what you want to hear postpartum. Do you think I'm bigger than I was when I was with Griffin at this point? Honestly, I think you're like right on par. I don't think you're any bigger. I feel like I'm not any bigger yet. Yeah. I expect that by the end, I'm going to be bigger though. My skin's already stretched out. Okay.

Okay, next, a lot of questions on do you plan on finding out the sex of this baby or are you going to keep it a surprise? Ooh, we definitely are going to find out. We definitely have to. Yeah. That's just too much to wait till the end for, you know? No, I always say that it is surprise enough on the day of delivery. Yes. Holy...

The people that wait to find out the gender of their baby. Holy cow. Like, I don't know. Well, that's our brother and sister-in-law. That's right. Yeah, they are doing that. I can't believe that. But then you can't point. I'm going to have to literally bribe their doctor. I'm not okay with it. You're not okay with that? No, wait. You're going to bribe their doctor? I'm not okay with it. Jeez, dude. No, I support their decision, but I just maybe I'm like the day

Oh, yeah. You need to spread out the fun. You need to spread out the fun. Like, just sprinkle it out just a little bit. That's just our opinion, though. I can understand, like, not doing the blood test at, like, 10 weeks or whatever when you can do it to find out the gender of the baby. But, bro, like, I don't know. Wait until the end. That's not for me. Maybe one day on a future baby. But, like, for this one, we got to find out. Maybe, like, number 10 or something. Yeah, no. Yeah.

So we didn't do any blood testing. We didn't do it with Griffin either. So we are going to just wait to find out at the anatomy scan, which happens around... I mean, ours is happening March 30th. Wow. So I think we'll probably do this. I mean, we haven't really discussed this in detail yet, but I'm figuring we'll do the same thing that we did with Griffin. We keep our eyes closed when they're like doing the sonogram of the private parts. And then...

they write it on a card in an envelope and then Matt opened the envelope and then he told me, which I think is really sweet because I feel like it's hard for dads to feel involved in the pregnancy. And it was like a small way for you to like,

I don't know. Yeah. No, yeah. It felt really special that I got to be the first one and then I got to tell you and I was. What if you know for a whole day this time and you don't tell me? Do you actually want to do that? I don't know, actually. I think I'll crack. I think I'll just end up telling you. Yeah, I can read you like a book, honestly. People crack me easy when like we had friends trying to get the gender out of me and they would just say like, Matt, it's a boy, isn't it? I would literally be like, Matt, don't look at them. And I'd be like, no, it's not. Do not look at them. It's like rude because Matt is just like literally.

Literally his eyes tell like keep no secrets. I am a horrible liar. Such a bad liar. That's one thing I'm like you're never going to cheat on me. Well or if you do I'm going to know immediately. Yeah.

I'm not going to cheat on you, honey. Thank you. Yep. Appreciate that. So yeah, we will find out at the anatomy scan, which is in about, I don't know, five weeks or so. Yeah. And then we will probably, I don't know, are we going to do a gender reveal with this one? We got to. We got to. At least some sort of gender reveal. Like, is our family going to be able to come out to go to it? I don't know. My mom just, my mom texted me about that literally yesterday about the gender reveal party. We got to throw one. My mom's expecting it.

it. Hmm. We'll have to figure that out. We'll do a fun way of telling you guys the gender. You'll know the gender before the baby's born. Dude, why do I seriously think so strongly it's a boy? I

I do too. But then, oddly, just like the past couple of days, I started to think the other way. I was like... Yeah. But like, because I don't know. Because there's really, like in my brain, I feel like I know, but I really don't. No, exactly. There's absolutely no way of knowing. Somehow though, you're so good at guessing the genders of babies. Except for with myself. No, you're so good at it. You literally guess like all of our friends' babies' genders. I know a girl at the gym today, I said, there's a 70% chance you're having a girl. Yeah. And...

I feel really good about that. Most people I'm like, there is a 99% chance you're having this gender. And I'm like, I know. But...

What do you think? What is your sense? What do your centers tell you right now? Well, first of all, I feel like I need to give the disclaimer that we just want a healthy baby. But also that disclaimer sometimes ticks me off a little bit because it's like that should be assumed. Of course. Who does not want a healthy baby? Who would rather have the gender that they prefer than a healthy baby? Who's out here not wanting a healthy baby? They're like, well, I don't care if it's healthy. I just want a boy. Like that. No one says that.

But I'm just going to say that. I'm going to put that out there because some people stress me out. Of course, I want a healthy baby. I feel like knowing how crazy our world can be, like there's definitely been someone who said that before. Gosh, those people should never be parents. I don't want to meet that person. I don't want to meet that person. Those people should not be parents. You're right. If you're not wanting a healthy baby. I want to take their baby and raise them. Oh my God.

I'm kind of leaning towards boy. I just think it would be so cute if we had two little boys run around being best friends. Little surfer dudes, little skater dudes. Oh, I just love that. And we can, I can, I'm going to take them snowboarding when they can walk. Like the second they can walk, they're going to get on a snowboard. What if they do dance classes too, like you did?

I think could, you know, I mean, like, I don't want to push them into that, though. Why? I don't know. I guess they could do. You just don't want to force them to be a theater kid just because you were a theater kid. I just I want to do whatever they want to do. Of course.

And here I'm saying that, but here I'm like, I want to get him on a skateboard. Yeah, listen to you. It's just so much fun. I feel like that'd be a fun sport that we could do together because I really enjoy it. But no, whatever they want to do, they're going to do. And we're going to be supportive in that, you know? Yeah, of course. So we've kind of like just been saying he by accident slash we've just like been thinking about having a boy, but probably it's because that's all we know right now. But having a girl would be really, really fun. I definitely want to have a girl at some point. But we just want a healthy baby. Oh my gosh.

Thanks for giving that disclaimer, Matt. - Of course. - Okay, this question here says, "Who is most excited, Papa J-Dog?"

For those of you guys that don't know, my dad wants to be referred to as Papa J-Dog. I don't know if that's actually going to stick around. Yeah, you know, we've kind of gone along with it because I thought it was kind of funny. Onesies have been made and matching t-shirts also. It's so stupid. It's hilarious. But my dad's name is John. We really should call him Papa John. Like Papa John makes a lot of sense. And my mom's name is Teresa. So she should be Mother Teresa. Well, that'd be Grandmother Teresa. That's true. That's true. Your parents have great names for being grandparents, honestly. Yeah.

So, yeah, Papa J-Dog was definitely excited. Yes, everyone was so shocked. He might have been the most excited. It was really fun because when we told everybody, my brother and sister-in-law announced that they were pregnant first. And everyone freaked out because, like, everyone's so excited for them to have their baby and so are we. And then when we told them that Abby was pregnant too, everyone, like, went wild. Because they're like, not only is Abby having another baby, but then...

My Abby and my sister-in-law Abby are having babies at the same time, which is just so dope. Yeah, some people were asking what our difference in due dates will be, and it's literally less than three weeks. I thought it was two weeks to the day from what I read. It's going to be super close. So exciting. Because I could have him early. See, look, I just said him.

I could have this baby early. Yeah. And since it's her first, you know, she could go late. Who knows? Oh, one of them was asking if we would do a home birth this time. Like I've had a baby. Oh man. I know how to do it. Would I do a home birth this time? Wow. I did see some comments on two videos ago. People were saying how in some countries or actually I think in the US too, how home births can be a really great option and that people, even if Griffin, in our situation where Griffin's shoulder got stuck, there's like- They're trained. There's people trained for that. For all circumstances.

Which I didn't actually fully realize that. So that's really cool. I think for us, I mean, I'm just speaking for myself right now, but I feel like a hospital is like where I want to be just for us. What do you think for you, Abby? No, I definitely feel better in a hospital. Like that's just me. I feel like...

and you and look like if something crazy did go wrong i'm sure like in most situations with a home birth like you you can get to the hospital you know yeah i've even heard of some people having like an ambulance outside their house right doesn't don't some people do that i heard of that happening actually yeah yeah just just in case like in the off chance that something crazy happened you have an ambulance ready well like if you need a blood transfusion is that the word i think you need blood which is a semi-common thing i don't know that you can do that at home i don't

Let us know in the comments if you can do that at home. Yeah. We're not experts on this, by the way. Yeah, we're not doctors, okay? We're just two people chatting away about this stuff. People chatting away. Speaking about doctors and stuff, someone said, isn't this considered a high-risk pregnancy? My OB said that you have to wait a year between. Whoa, yeah. That's a really good question because your OB said that too.

She was like, wait a year. She did say that. But she never told you, like we went in for appointments already and they never said that you're high risk. No, I think they would have told me. Oh yeah, they definitely would have told you. But I do think that you should wait longer. Oh, wait, I shouldn't say that. I think that it is recommended that...

medical professionals to give yourself at least a year. Oh yeah, you don't want to have a baby four months after having your first baby. You also don't want to have a baby right after hernia surgery and look where we are. That's, oh crap dude, I forget about that. A lot of people were asking how is this pregnancy going to be affected by my hernia surgery. The fact of the matter is that the surgeon did tell me I could get pregnant right away. He's like, yeah, you can.

Oh, he did? Yes. Okay. He was like, yeah, you can get pregnant right away. That's reassuring. Yeah, he told me that. And then I even asked my doctor at our first appointment. I was like, is there anything I should be doing differently? Like, are we worried about it? My hernia is coming back. For those of you that don't know, I had a double hernia after giving birth to Griffin that got repaired. They used mesh in my abdomen. So I have like literally still have mesh right here and on the side because I had an umbilical one and a ventral. I think that's what it's called. Hernia.

And yeah, I guess we just hope and pray that the mesh doesn't detach. We don't have any reason to think that that's going to affect anything about this pregnancy or my body. If you were like 35, I would be worried about all of this because you had a kid then like literally right after that got surgery and now you're pregnant again. Like your body is like, what the freak's going on? But.

But because you're 24, I do have a lot of confidence in just, I don't know, how everything's going to go. Because you're very young. We're having kids young. Hopefully we're going to knock out all our kids by 30. Knock them all out. Knock them all out, right? Push them all out by 30. I'm feeling confident, okay? I feel like you're going to crush this. Well, I'm also really trying to listen to my body. I'm just...

I'm eating good. Yeah, you are. We both are. You're both eating great. Yes. I'm sleeping. I'm staying active. I'm drinking a lot of water. I'm still eating as much as I can. And I'm just listening to my body. Bro, you've been doing CrossFit. Abby's been doing freaking CrossFit. And it feels good. Okay. Let me tell you what, Matt. You want to be strong going into labor.

Yeah. You need muscles. Yes. And you're doing a great job of working out. Abby's been going to CrossFit more than I have. We used to go to CrossFit when we lived in Hawaii. And being back here, we actually got a month-long membership at our old gym. So yeah, I'm eating good. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that I am pregnant.

and I'm still like working out a lot. Yeah. But I've gotten a lot of questions about if I'm still breastfeeding Griffin. This person says it's dangerous while being pregnant. Really? Dangerous? So when I first found out that I was pregnant, it was like thinking for sure that I would have to start weaning Griffin because I thought there

there was no way that it would be safe to nurse while or that I thought my milk would go away a lot of people are asked about my milk supply so from right now after doing personal research and also talking to Griffin's pediatrician and my doctor yes I don't feel at risk currently with where I am the pregnancy nursing Griffin what's really interesting though is we got two different opinions from doctors on when you should stop which I found very fascinating because Griffin's pediatrician said you can keep nursing and

Up until... Or she said you don't have to stop at all, right? No. She was like, you can just keep on nursing that kid. Well, think about it. Everyone that does tandem feeding, they nurse their whole pregnancy. Yeah. Because then I don't think their baby would like...

their older child would stop nursing and then start again yeah and but then your ob right it's your ob well it was actually the nurse oh it was the nurse she was like you need to stop by 23 weeks because of risk of preterm labor but after looking into that i don't personally feel that i'm at risk of preterm labor as that was never an issue with griffin's pregnancy and if i have any symptoms of early labor i would stop immediately but especially i'm not even close to 23 weeks yet so yeah

As of right now, my milk supply seems to still be good. It's kind of hard to know when you're exclusively brushing. You're like, how much are you getting? I don't know. But Griffin loves nursing. It's a very good tactic to calm him down. Calms that kid down so fast. And he's been really fussy because he's been teething recently. Yeah. So I feel like he needs it still. And it's good nutrients for him. And I'm...

I'm definitely taking in enough calories to sustain both Griffin and this baby that's growing in me. So right now it's working great and I don't feel like at risk doing it. Thank you for doing that, by the way. Like that's a lot of work and a lot of women don't go that far. And the fact that you've done that is just really impressive. So honestly, congrats. I'm giving you nuts.

Thank you. And it fascinates me that people have different opinions in the medical world about when you should stop. It's just so interesting. I'm almost nervous talking about this because I know there's going to be so many opinions. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. People are probably going to be like, you should not

should not be doing that or people be like yes mom you must keep breastfeeding it's for your baby they will not love you otherwise people are gonna go to war in the comments about this i am just saying like right now it feels right and it feels healthy and it feels responsible good if it doesn't we'll stop it's that simple so yeah yeah we're just gonna keep doing that with whatever you choose to do you're gonna have a doctor backing you up somewhere okay so you have some kook

Their opinions that come from nowhere. Okay. This one says, is there anything you're going to do differently during this pregnancy? Ooh. Ooh. Wow. Well, already it's flown by like that. Oh, has it flown by for you? Yes, it has. Yes, it has. I've been busy over here being a dad and like-

I'm sorry. I feel like I maybe gave you a little bit more special treatment with the first pregnancy. But I don't know. Where's the freaking time? Between being a father and trying to run our business, I don't have time. I'm trying to do the best I can. So I definitely can do better. I feel like, Matt, you kind of kick it into gear more when you see the bump. Yeah, that's true. But I need you more at the beginning when I'm feeling nauseous. That's true. That's true. Honestly, it almost seemed like you were faking it. I know you were. Oh, my God.

That makes me so mad. I'm so sorry. It seemed like I was faking it, huh? I'm so sorry. I know you weren't faking it. I know for a fact you weren't faking it. I know that when I was like needing magnesium and I was like feeling really tired and nauseous that you weren't believing me. And I kept saying to you, you don't believe that I don't feel good. And you were like, no, I believe you. What threw me off was with your first pregnancy, you used to be like, I'm gonna throw up. And then you would never throw up. I did throw up. But then this pregnancy, you did throw up. But it was only, you only threw up like,

I think it was only twice. More than that. Really? Yeah. You threw up more than twice in the first trimester? Yeah. Remember all those times that I'd try to take my prenatals and then just upchuck everywhere? Oh, okay. I don't consider that throw up. You like just spit out water. Like I'm talking about like puke. No, and my curry. I'm talking about like puke, bro. Like that time at my parents' house where you like puked literally all over the carpet. I puked multiple times that night. Yeah, but it was just like every, it was so much. Does that count as once or every time I vomited that night? That's a good question. I kind of count that as one, like one incident. But like you did throw up like five times. One session? Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, yeah, apparently I need to actually vomit for Matt to have sympathy for me while pregnant. That's not true. That is not true. I'm going to let him take on the next pregnancy and see how he feels. Oh my gosh. I wish I could. I really do wish I could take this from you. I really wish you could too, Matt. It sucks that you're having to do this all over again. And I really do feel for you because I know that it's not easy. So thank you for doing that. No, it is a privilege to carry a baby, but I will be honest. It's been a lot. Actually, one of these questions was, are you nervous? Oh, heck yeah.

Right? I mean, like... I mean, I had a breakdown last night. Guys, giving... Oh, yeah, that's true. Do you want to talk about that or you do not really want to? No, we can talk about it. Oh, sick. Okay. Like, what do you want to say? I mean, it kind of caught me off guard. It was very, very vulnerable. Yeah, tell me how you perceived it. I don't know. It was really sweet. Just like you being able to share those fears with me about the pregnancy and about what you're going through. Yeah, I was just like, wow, I didn't think through all of that because it's...

all of these things that you're feeling, I don't directly feel them unless I'm like really studying you, you know? So the fact that you just like put all that out there, I was like, wow, like Abby's going through a lot and I need to be there for her more because like,

it's not easy to have a baby, then have a double hernia repair, and then go right back to having another baby. So I know you did make it through the first trimester already, but the second trimester is going to be tough too. And so, yeah, thank you for sharing that with me last night. Yeah, like last night, I just kind of like, just to recap, kind of just like cried to Matt.

for like 30 minutes while I just like talked about like all my I guess like I don't know if it's nerves but there is like a part of me that like some women love pregnancy and I don't have bad pregnancies but it is such

such a physically taxing thing that I was just like kind of daunted by the fact that I was already entering that so soon when I don't feel like I've healed I actually haven't probably healed postpartum and post-surgery so I was just like how in the world am I going to do this again and I know that I'm not given circumstances that I'm not going to be able to handle like

I'm going to be able to do this, but sometimes in a moment of weakness, it just feels too much to bear. So that's kind of like what I felt like last night, honestly, but nothing, not a good night of sleep and the sunshine can't kind of help. We have such a good support system, like I said in the last episode. So that gives me so much peace.

And plus, like, all your messages. They're so sweet. Yeah. Thank you, guys. And also make me feel not dumb for getting pregnant so soon. People are like, it happens. Like, you don't expect it to. Things can happen. So things like that. Yeah. No, I really was honored to get to hear –

hear that from you. And I'm sorry. I really do wish I could just like take that away. Um, but I'm going to work on, I'm going to work on empathy. I think this pregnancy, I think it can be a better empathizer and just like walk alongside you, even though I've never really sweet. And you are, you do think about me. Thank you. But I think that it's hard because it's like, I'm living this every second of the day and you are just witnessing it.

from afar. And I do, my coping mechanism also is to just like keep going. Like keep pushing. You've got this. And then every once in a while I'll just crack and fall apart. But as far as like the birth goes, I don't feel as nervous for that this time around. I wasn't feeling super nervous the first time either, but I feel even less nervous just because

I mean, I really went into that not knowing a lot. And now I feel like I know what to expect. I know that like we'll probably be alone most of the labor and then they'll just come in every once in a while and check me. And I know that I have to have an IV in my arm even after I have the baby. And I know that like all these things, I know that there's a catheter, which I still don't even like. Did they put that in you when you gave birth? Yeah. Dude, how did I not even realize that? I didn't even know.

noticed that either. The funny thing is like if you poop when you're giving birth, you don't even know. Like I wouldn't even know if you did personally because- Well, if you're watching, you would. Well, I was like up by your face just like cheering you on. Like I'm not down there. Did you look down there?

Yeah, a little bit, but I didn't like... Was it scary? A little bit, yeah. I mean, yeah. It's crazy. It's insane. Do you remember like in your head right now what that looks like? Yes. Birth is crazy, Abby. Birth is crazy. Why do I kind of want to see it, but I also don't at all? You need to. I mean, but I will say watching... I've watched the videos back and looking back... Wait, you have? Like it's... Yeah.

We have like video. We have all sorts of angles. Why did you watch that back? I was just, I forget the exact reason, but like there's a lot of blood and it's pretty intense. But the good news is. Did you think it looked gross? No, no, no, no, no. Really? It's just like your body's pushing out a whole entire human. So of course things are going to look different. But I'm just saying like.

Back that you did that, very impressive. Round two is going to be easier for you because literally everyone says that. I think so. Your body's done it once. I'm stretched out already. I mean, honestly, like your body's prepared. It's like, okay, round number two. The second try of everything is always way easier. Like I experienced that in my own life. So not that I've been pregnant. I just feel like it's going to be faster. My body already knows what's going to happen. Of course. Yeah. But that's actually really cool about the first time round two is that my body knew exactly what was going on.

Even though like my head didn't know what was going on. My body was like made for that. Yeah. That's cool. And I feel a lot of peace about that. Okay. If y'all hadn't been pregnant so early, when would you start considering your second? Oh.

How would we have done this otherwise? The ironic part about all this is we were actually thinking about should we push our timeline for having baby number two back? Because originally we were like, let's base our kids out every two years. But then after Griffin, we were like, wow. I think we're like, maybe we'll wait two years to start trying again. Yeah. Which obviously pushes it back another nine months. Exactly. So it was like, maybe we should do every three years because even though it'd be ideal to have them close in age, it's just a lot. We just need to regroup. As a parent, it's a lot. So...

Yeah. But honestly, what's the point of thinking about would-ofs and should-ofs and could-ofs? Totally. We definitely are going to need more help around the house come baby number two. I think we're going to definitely have a nanny or more help of some sort. Well, people were asking if we'd ever consider moving back home now that we have like two kids literally 13 months apart. Yeah.

And I think that our plan is to just get families to move out to us. Yes. If you're a family, come move and come live with us and you can help us watch our kids. No, but like our family is like the best and we just really hoping

that they will join us out there at some point. Yeah. You know, it kills people to be away from nephews and nephews. See, I keep saying nephews. We're pretty set on thinking this is a boy. So I think if it's a girl, we're gonna be completely shocked. It's okay. But also so excited because all we want is a healthy baby. Can you stop?

Seriously, though, we would be thrilled either way. This one says, which pregnancy has been harder so far? That's a complete you question. Which has been harder for you, Matt? Honestly, this has been harder just because we're parents now. Yeah. Guys, being parents has changed everything.

Everything. Our whole life is like so different. But it's so much joy. There is so much joy. But I will say it's freaking hard. I will say that. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not trying to like sugarcoat this, pretend that like everything's perfect. No, it's freaking hard. And like recently with Griffin teething, he just cries so much. It's sad. And it is sad. But it's at a certain point, you're like...

I can't hear crying for 24/7. Like it gets me a lot. So luckily we have each other to take breaks. - Tag team it. - Tag team it. - Griffin Doody. - Single parents, I don't know how you guys do it. You guys are freaking insane. - Yeah. I think this one has been harder just because I, the first pregnancy, I could just sleep till kingdom come and now

I have to wake up multiple times throughout the night. And I think nursing also has taken a toll on my energy. And I just, it was hard in the first trimester because I had a lot of food aversions, but I needed to consume a lot of calories because I was still nursing. And so it was just hard because I was not eating enough.

Okay, this one says, why didn't you use a digital read test this time? Just curious, you mentioned in another episode. Well, I think you just had to get the test right away and you didn't have time. No, there was digital read ones, but I was like, it's not going to be positive. So...

I'm not going to get that. The irony. Yeah. So if you, to fill you in, my advice to people that are trying for a baby is to not test until you have a missed period because you will drive yourself crazy trying to see, like to think about like, okay, wait, what if this was like, what if I'm actually pregnant? It's just not showing like things like that. Wait till you have a missed period. So, you know, for sure. And then also get a digital read test. So,

So that literally says pregnant or not pregnant. So you're not sitting there trying to see if there's two lines or not. The reason I didn't follow my own advice is because I thought for sure I wasn't pregnant. So I just got the cheapest one, which is just the two lines test. The great value version. It was still a clear blue test, but it was...

But it wasn't just their high-tech digital. And you still didn't believe it. That's why I didn't believe it. You took two of them and you didn't believe it. Honestly, that line was so dark that I was convinced that I was having twins. Because I was only three weeks. I wasn't even four weeks pregnant yet. And it was an immediate dark line. Yeah. Oh, that's another thing. We're not having twins. Thank God. We were so scared. That would be...

Oh my gosh. Yeah, we were really scared about that. And that point we went to when we found out it was just one, we were like, whew, okay, we're off the hook. Gosh, that would have been so scary. Someone did message me that they had a baby and then they had twins 15 months later. Oh gosh. I'm scared. This one's for you, Matt. Okay, what is it? Are you nervous you'll get less time with Abby with two under two? Wow, I haven't even had time to process that really. I feel like that's just a fact that I won't get as much time with you.

I get less time with you even now with Griffin. So I feel like it'll probably be even less time with you. So I feel like we need to make plans now to have more time together. And I think a weekly date night is a great option. I know we've, I've been, I've been bad about doing that. So I'm sorry. I can improve on that. You guys are here. Everyone keep him accountable.

From all screens. Hey, hold up. Hold up. Am I taking you on the dates every single week? Are you going to take me on some too? I can take you on dates. Thank you. I would be so good at that. But it's just like you have to set aside time. Maybe we should alternate. We need to make an actual date night every week. Like have a day. Yes. And it should be not on the weekend. Tuesday nights. I love Tuesday. Yeah, Tuesday nights. It's taco Tuesday. Taco. Yes. And then we can get cheap tacos and then go on drives and like make out like we're in high school. Yes. Let's do it.

That's a really good idea. Okay, so alternate days. You do one and then I'll do one. Weeks. Alternate weeks. Alternate weeks. That's what I meant. Yeah. Okay, let's do it. Okay. I think we need to make plans as far as like with us running our own business. Like I think we need to be smart with planning out like our own business stuff and then like our own life. And we definitely need to get help with our kids because I think we will drive ourselves crazy like –

for instance okay here in Hawaii recently with Abby and I trying to get work done we've been in like the same room and then we end up like both taking care of Griffin and we both don't get anything done so it's like we need a tag team to say hey like you go take Griffin on a walk and then I can actually get things done and vice versa but if

if we don't plan things out, that's where we get screwed. And that's where we get stressed and fights happen. And yeah, we got to plan ahead. Plan ahead for weekly day nights. Even though I do think it's very important that we prioritize our marriage, even though our kids are obviously going to be a priority. I think that even slightly more important maybe is that we are taking care of us as a unit so that we can be the strongest parents for our kids as possible. Totally.

Totally. The marriage is kind of controversial, but no, I completely agree with you. If the, if the marriage isn't the core of, um, the family, then, then it falls apart. Like if mom and dad don't love each other, there's a way that it can be done. Yeah. Yeah. Like you can still, you can be a single parent or, uh,

You could be co-parenting and you can still have a great arrangement. Exactly. No, it can still work out. But I think like in the traditional sense, like I think the mom and dad need to be good together. And then like that just, it just trickles down. That love trickles down to all the kids. That's very sweet. Yeah. That love just drizzles on everyone. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, I guess with this one, has this changed how many kids we want total in the future? Dude, I'm going to be, like, to be completely honest. No. Dude, it might just be two. Matthew James! What? Wait, are you being serious? I don't know. We can still figure it out, but, like. You're done. After this, you're done. This is going to be a lot, dude.

We'll talk about this later. I'm gonna be 24. I'm 24. I know. I can't be done having kids at 24. We can be young and hot like empty nesters and we can just go like travel and our kids will be in college and we can just like send it. Wouldn't that be so fun? We're having four children, guys. We're having four? Four. Abby, one is already crazy. You want to quadruple that? He's as needy as he will ever be. He's a baby. I love Griffin so much, but having four of him, I would go crazy.

But I understand what you're saying. Different ages. He's going to get older. I get that. I don't know. Just right now, it seems like a lot. Yeah, I know. It's not like a conversation we need to have for serious now, but I just know that I am not done having kids. Our original plan, we've talked about this before on our YouTube channel. Is have two kids, adopt two kids. Yes, that was our plan. So are you saying you're trying to switch up the plan? No, I'm not trying to switch it up. I'm just saying... Are you switching up the plan? What do you mean? What are you saying? It's just so...

for some reason it's hard to think of this being as my last pregnancy especially because it happened so soon I'm just like yeah not ready to not

I don't know. Literally, I'm about to cry. You're saying that. I'm sorry. I just think it makes me want to cry when I think about kids that don't have a home and kids that don't have a loving mother and father or father and father, whatever. Just like loving parents, okay? Yes. Whatever. I'm sorry. I think that'd be a really cool opportunity. We have our kids and then sometime in the future, we open our house for foster care or for even what's it called? Respite care, safe homes where it's like they need...

Just a spot for the night or the next like 48 hours before they can be placed in a foster care home It's so sad how there's so many kids that don't have parents, right? And I I don't I'm not okay with that and like I I want to do something I want to do something about that maybe maybe if the foster or adoption thing doesn't work out, maybe we have to help and

in those cases in some other way i don't know if that's donating financially i don't know if that's raising awareness i don't know what that is but like we i want to do something about that and the fact that kids don't have well that there's kids out there that don't have parents that breaks my heart you can also support foster parents by you know providing diapers providing you need so many things with little kids and school supplies things like that there's a lot of ways that you can help them out 100 do you have any ideas for names oh we should keep the

We don't have like a for sure boy name or a for sure girl name. I feel like we don't even have a lot of girl names at all actually. The name that I really like is a little on the crazy side and I'm worried that people might think it's a weird one. I don't know. It's just like weird when you name your kid something and then people are like, that name sucks. Like, I don't know. I...

No one would ever say that to you, but... I don't know. It's the internet. People say really anything. Yeah, that's true. I guess like maybe if we went a crazier route with the first name, we could always have a more traditional middle name so that if they didn't like their first name, they can just go by their middle name. I know kids like that. I also think that with the names that people are choosing nowadays, the name... I know the name that you like. It's really not that out there.

It's pretty dope. It's a really cool name. It's a name, though. It's a name. Yeah. One of my roommates in college, though, he actually had the opposite. His first name was John and his middle name was Brendan. And so we just all called him Brendan. Like he just went by Brendan. I honestly didn't even know his name was John for a long time. Well, I do know. Oh, you know that now? I did know. Okay. But yeah, like that could happen. We could call our kid by their middle name. So in case they hate their first name. I'm going to be honest with you. It does kind of bug me some of the names that...

bad to say no you can say they're out there nowadays oh my gosh so off the wall i'm like you know your child is going to grow up and be an adult and potentially work in a professional setting that's true it's like i just don't know i completely agree if you name your kid a name that's really cute for a kid but then they don't have like in a name a name that could be an adult name that is scary and also some people are like so proud of like i don't know anyone named this name and i'm naming my kid that i'm like the flex that you think it is

that might be a red flag personally. Abby, I think you're onto something. I mean, I just think that sometimes a little weird when they're like, we're not going to say the name, but I'm just saying I've never heard it before. I'm like, oh, please think long and hard about that name. I really don't want to offend anybody, but it has blown my mind. Some of the names I've seen, especially in the social media world, it's crazy. You guys, it's insane.

This person says, is the baby okay from the drinking and the roller coasters? Let me preface this by saying, drinking really makes it sound like I was like binge drinking or something, taking shots. Abby's an alcoholic.

I'm pretty sure that was my first drink postpartum. Are you serious? Did I have another drink? I thought you had at least one more drink before that one. What was it? I can't think of it, but I feel like you had like Moscato and then a beer or something. No, that was your first drink. That was my first drink postpartum. A grapefruit beer in Epcot. That's how good they are. If you guys have ever been to Germany in Epcot, well, not... Okay, I just offended every German viewer out there.

But if you go to Disney World, Epcot has like all these different countries and Germany inside Epcot, which is inside Walt Disney World. They have fire grapefruit beer and you got to try it. The only reason I like it is because it's super, super light. I don't like beer. I don't like alcohol in general. I don't drink really hardly at all. And especially since I was pregnant, I didn't drink at all. And postpartum, I hadn't drank until I had that grapefruit beer when I was actually like three weeks pregnant.

And I didn't. That's crazy, dude. I cannot believe you literally drink alcohol and then rode roller coasters. We rode some crazy ones. We went on the Velociraptor ride at Universal. I hate that. Luckily, you didn't do the Hulk ride. But then what's the one that you did at Disney World? Didn't you do a crazy one at Disney World? I mean, Test Track. Yeah, you did Test Track. I mean, you had all these rides that are like, do not ride if pregnant. But we just had no idea. Yeah, and I

did I was feeling very guilty about it but I did talk to my doctor and she was like you would not believe all the moms that come in here that conceived on their honeymoon and they definitely had been drinking a lot more than you drank and they're just fine and I think that the concerns with the rides while I don't think you should go on

them while you're pregnant at all but like it's more so when you have a large bump and the the harnesses don't fit great on you well i did read online though that it's actually a big risk in the first trimester because that's when your placenta is growing oh god you don't want the placenta getting detached as it as it grows and we wouldn't know if it was detached but i mean you're you're the nurse did tell abby like hey i promise you if if god forbid there's something wrong

you know, with the pregnancy. - If something goes wrong, it's not because of that. - She was like, it's not because of you. She was like, you not believe the amount of people that are on their honeymoon and drink like a crazy amount. Did you just say that? - Yeah, I did. - You literally did. - Thanks for recapping that. - I am so sorry. - This one says. - Oh, one other thing. - Oh, yes. - One other thing that I wanted to say. I literally just, I completely lost my train of thought.

- I'm so sorry. - I'm gonna let you think about that while I answer the next question. It is, can we see your reaction video? By the time this is posted, they'll have seen it. - Oh yeah, it'll be out. - So check it out. It's probably on our TikTok, Matt and Abbie. We hadn't watched it until literally yesterday. - Yes. - And I feel like it perfectly captures every single emotion that was going through us. - It's a five minute video. Should we post the whole thing? - It's real.

And it's raw. We're going to post the whole thing. We could post the whole thing somewhere. No, because then I talked about poop. You talked about taking a poop? You literally go pee while the video is being filmed. Like you keep your camera rolling and you go pee. I even walk in my underwear and I have to put a towel around my waist because I'm like, crap, Abby's taking a video. I can't be in my underwear for this. I cannot believe it.

you weren't on to me dude i did not think for a second that you were gonna be pregnant like i just woke up i was i was suspecting it the day before but like it really caught me off guard abby you were suspecting it the day before yes because you had all the aversions you had when you're pregnant from pregnancy number one but that morning i forgot that you're taking a test well first of all it would have been a rough night okay i can i just thought of what i forgot to say earlier

I know somebody that had told us that their doctor had said it's okay to have like a glass of wine a week when you're pregnant. And I just wanted to put that out there that-

It's not. Okay. I don't know who, I don't know. I just wanted to say that I wanted to tell that person, like, don't do that, but I, I didn't want to be mean. And maybe they're watching this. I don't know. But I, I just want people to know out there, like, don't drink when you're pregnant. It's not a good idea. I know that we like, obviously Abby had a beer on accident because we had no idea she was pregnant. But like, if you know you're pregnant and you're drinking, like don't do it. That's all I wanted to say. That was a PSA from Matt Howard. Yeah.

This question says, did you ever start your period back before finding out? We talked about that last episode, but the answer is no. I never did. Literally no. So you can ovulate. Just a little health lesson. You can ovulate without bleeding. Well, yeah, totally. Yes, because you were ovulating. Because women still have a hormonal cycle that they're going through. Yes. I'm learning a lot as we go through this. Yes. But you can...

Ovulate without shedding the lining. Well, because you, yeah, to get pregnant, you had to ovulate and you never got your period. So that's- Or I could have also, I don't think there's any way we'd ever know this, but I could have been about to start my period for the first time. Oh, really? We have no idea. We have no idea. We will never know. This is kind of just a kind of a random question, but I feel like we should answer it. Were you ever concerned you couldn't get pregnant? It's a fear of mine. Someone sent that question in. Why did I never think we were going to have issues?

And that's probably just being naive. Well, you're not a worrier. I'm not a worrier. And also you can't just expect to have that issue. I did worry about that actually. Yeah, you did. I didn't at all. I was like, Abby, we're going to be fine. And you were like, I don't know. You never know. And that's why we kind of started trying about it. Maybe like six months to a year out from when we kind of wanted to have a kid. Obviously we were ready if it happened right away. Yeah, we were ready. But it just like, boom, we got pregnant right away with baby number one. Matt, do you have anxiety about handling both kids at once?

And how are you handling? Oh, okay. I feel confident in tackling this. I think it all comes down to planning ahead, making sure that we have either family or sitters or people to help us because it is going to be a crap show. If it's just me and you, if it's literally just me and you without help, having two kids under two is going to be a crap show. So we need to plan ahead. We're not planners. That's why this is called the Unplanned Podcast. We're not planners. No way. No way.

Sorry, keep going. But if we can make plans, we're going to be okay. I don't feel guilt at all for having help with Griffin or for this future baby. We're not made to do this life alone. And like, we need help. And so that's why I feel really good about having help with our kids. Yay. And it's the way that they can get the most attention. More people, more attention, more love. I'm trying to find the question, but it was really funny. But it was like,

Are you going to do anything different with birth control after this show?

Dude, can I just say, I wish that there was a male form of birth control that wasn't condoms. Like I wish so badly. They're making that. They're working on it. But like by the time that we're done having kids, it's going to be available. And so I will never get to use that. No, do you understand how it works though? They're going to make it so that the sperm like somehow morphs so that the tails attach on the other side. What? I don't actually know how that works. We need to look into that. Did you see this on TikTok? Probably Google.

Okay. But it's like, so they swim the wrong way. What is this? I haven't even heard about this. No, it's like, if this isn't how it works, then maybe this is just food for thought for someone that can do this with science. If you can do science, please listen up. But it makes the sperm their tails on the wrong side. So they swim the wrong direction. That would be incredible. I wish we had that. Like, I would totally take the male form of birth control. I wish we had it. I don't want you to be the first one to do it, though. It sucks. Yeah, I don't want to be the first one to do it either.

I want that to be somebody else. Man, isn't that crazy though? That like the guys are the ones that like literally have this. Okay. I don't want to be weird, but like the guys have the seed. It's like, why would you not just keep the seed from like meeting the egg? Like that just makes way more sense. Why is it that women are the ones that have to have the birth control? Honestly, that makes no sense. It's because we live in a patriarchy. That's right.

Fight the patriarchy. Thanks, Matt. Okay. With our whole situation, I think after everything's said and done, I will be getting the snip, right? I know, but we're not going to be said and done after this second baby. So are you getting an IUD? Yeah. Okay. Thanks for doing that. I'm sorry. I wish I could get an IUD. I literally cannot. They don't make those for guys. Honestly, at this point, I'm desensitized to any medical thing down there.

No, but for real, I had the Kylena, which is a hormonal. It has, is it progesterone? I think it's progesterone, yeah. And estrogen. Did we pronounce that right? No. Okay. I'm just going to say it fast so they don't. People always say it really fast. Progesterone. Is it progesterone? Is it with an O? Progesterone and estrogen. And so it's a form of hormonal birth control.

that I had before we had babies and it worked great for me. I didn't get a period on it. I didn't have any crazy symptoms.

It was great. It was effective. If you don't want to do the hormonal method, you could do the copper IUD. I don't want that because I heard it makes your periods heavier. Yes, that would suck. And you didn't get a period with hormonal birth control. I know. So I'm going to get the Mirena, which is the big girl version. Ah, for mamas. It's the mama version. Why do we keep talking? I love giving you nuts. This is going to get so much fun. It's the mama version of the Kyleena that I had before. So I feel good about getting that again because while we're going to be just fine with two under literally 13 months...

I don't think that we're going to want to risk it for a third. Yeah. Yeah. Gosh, we could have three under. Holy crap. What if we had three under three? That would be a nightmare. That'd be scary. People do it. Yeah. Yeah. If you have triplets. No, but you could also just get pregnant. That's true. Quickly. That's true. But yeah, I think that we will get an IUD or I will get an IUD next time.

And you're coming with me because... I will. I'll hold your hand. You didn't let me come with you the first time. What the heck? We weren't married. I could have like wore a blindfold. What the crap? I could have held your hand. You got it like a week before we got married anyway. I'm a big girl. I'm tough. I feel bad that I wasn't there. For me, it really wasn't that bad actually. You didn't go with your mom or your best friend? You went by yourself. No best friend, no mom. Because I was fine.

you're tough i am tough cookie people do say getting an iud sucks and actually there's like a whole campaign to start using anesthesia for it oh really yeah but for you it wasn't that bad right i mean it wasn't comfortable they literally pinch your uterus i'm pretty sure no pinch your cervix

They go through it. That's crazy. I think they go through your cervix. Holy flip. Yeah. Anyway. You're tough. I think you're just tough. You probably just have a really high pain tolerance. No, it wasn't comfortable, but it really wasn't the end of the world. I think you said that laser hair removal, though, down there was like less painful than getting the IUD. Didn't you say that? Or more painful. You said laser hair removal was worse than the IUD. The first appointment. But now they have heat. They have lasers now that cause no pain or discomfort. Wow.

Should have had that laser. Well, that wraps up episode four, you guys. We answered a bunch of your questions. We have some really fun things planned for the next episode. So make sure that you are subscribed. If you are listening in on other platforms, make sure you hit that follow button and leave us a review. Again, it really helps us out. If you leave a review, put your Instagram handle. Yes. So we can shout you guys out. Shout you out. We also have a couple of shout outs that we're going to put on the screen for you.

from episode three. Bethany Beans, thank you so much for your five-star rating. - What did she say? Can we hear her? - She said, "Love it. I love how relaxed and honest it is." - Aw. - So nice. This one is from Emma Cholley. - Aw. - "I love Matt and Abbie. I love how they always make it feel as though I'm sitting on the couch with them. I love watching Matt and Abbie and seeing them grow in life." Uh-oh, this one starts off bad. This is from Hey Nina. - Wow. - "Honestly, at first I was disappointed.

Boy, was I

wrong you were cool i love this podcast and i love matt and abby they bring such joy and light to the world that feels full of chaos this podcast has already made me feel seen as a young married person who wants to build a family and i can't wait for everything that they have in store the make you laugh cry and put a smile on your face from the second they start i am definitely a dude for life that meant so much thank you nina that was so so nice and until next time three two one peace out dudes