Addressing Assumptions About Us
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Yeah. Yeah.

Especially early on. I also had like a hormone thing that was like, I have an empty womb. It must be full again. You guys got married young just to be able to have sex. That is a loaded question. Welcome back to Unplanned. Woo! Woo!

Yeah. Abby, you look really good today. Thank you. By the way. Thank you very much. I think you're stunning. I think you should be just proud of yourself. You're so nice. I saw this thing recently, which I feel like I've always kind of accepted compliments. I've never been like, no. But I'm more so being aware of that because it's not very good to just not accept compliments. Like,

Or to like be self-deprecating in response to compliments. You're right. Because a lot of times when I've complimented you, you're like, no. Like I'll be like, you're beautiful. You'll be like, no. But I think you're getting better at accepting them, which is really good. Yeah, just say thank you. You look stunning. You look so pretty. Thank you. And it's not arrogant to say thank you to a compliment and to accept it. Also. It's the opposite. Yeah.

Honestly, I feel like I lucked out because like you take such good care of yourself and I feel just so lucky that you value your health and value. I don't know all those like you've inspired me to go to the gym. You've inspired me to eat healthier. You've really inspired me to take my health more seriously. And I think that's like so healthy to have a spouse that.

takes care of themselves because it just makes you want to do the same. I don't know how you enjoy going to the gym five times a week. I don't get it. I'm trying to do three and I've been kind of sometimes doing three times a week. So I'm getting there. But I'm just like, I'm just like, wow. Because people are like literally, guys, people have been commenting being like, Abby, you look so good. What's your workout routine?

And the secret is just Abby just works out a lot. Like she's, she is very committed and that's inspired me because I'm like, if I want to see results in the gym, I need to work out as much as Abby. She goes five times a week. If I want to see results in my body, I should work out five times a week. So I've been trying to do three, but eventually I'll get to five. No, I do. Do you want to know my secrets to postpartum weight loss? What's your secrets? I have two of them. What? One of them is...

Okay. And the second one is... Probably genetics. You have early genetics. No, it's...

Do it for yourself and only for yourself. Oh, yeah. For your mental health. I had never thought about going to the gym for my mental health until you kind of started talking about that. And it's so true. I feel so much better. I do think that there's a like my goal was never to lose weight. My goal was never to have like a certain percentage of body fat or to get to a certain number on the scale or to be able to do a certain activity, like lift a certain amount or to have, I don't know, to be strong. Like it was that was never and it's never been any one of my goals ever.

And I don't think those goals are bad things. I feel like those can be, those are really tangible and can be really productive for some people. But for me, like I literally just want to do something that I love and I want to do it regularly. And so, and that's the only way that it's been possible. I'm not like even concerned about the number or things like that. Like I just feel super lucky. Like I, I'm missing the point though. I,

I feel like it's really important for me postpartum to have just like one hour a day to do something for me and to release some endorphins and just like do something that like makes me sweat and I can be proud of. And it has nothing to do with like weight loss. It has nothing to do with, you know, wanting a certain body type or physique. Yeah. And that's good. I'm very appreciative of all the compliments because of it. I think it has. It's so multifaceted, obviously. There's a rumor going around that you were doing Ozempic.

Well, it wasn't even just a rumor. It was an ad on Facebook using my image. Someone created a fake ad trying to promote Ozempic using us. And did you see the ad? No, I need to pull it up. I never got to watch the ad, but apparently it was like, my husband wanted me to lose weight. No, my husband wouldn't let me. It said something about like, my husband won't...

understand why my husband wouldn't let me hang out with his friends anymore that is so horrible and it was an image of me this is from what i understand it was an image of me pregnant and like heavier and then an image of me like more recently i think it was like in that pajama video where you could see my body like full length and that i obviously wasn't pregnant anymore and it had like it was it was like set together to be like a before and after ozempic

I cannot believe somebody did that. And how dumb are you as a company to do something like that when it's like, you know, like you will be like, you can't just do that. Should we sue? I've thought about that. I've thought about like potentially suing. I need to look more into it. It got big enough to where people were thinking that you were actually commenting that. And I was like, no, what in the world? Yeah, I don't know really anything about Ozempic. The only thing I know is that isn't it like for people with diabetes?

But if you take it and you don't have diabetes, you just like lose weight or something? I know it's super controversial. But yeah, we need to look into suing because like if it got big enough, we could probably have a defamation lawsuit. Like if they convinced enough people that I said those horrible things and like wrongfully used our image, our brand, our likeness and try to promote their company or whatever, there could be a lawsuit. I need to look into it. I would just hate for people to think that I did that when I didn't. Yeah. And I can't really...

Put my finger on why, but I just feel like I don't think that I would promote a weight loss thing like that because I just that just is against a lot of things that I stand for. Why use someone else's name and likeness and say something false like that? Like that really bothers me. Anyway, we're getting off subject. We have your assumptions that you guys submitted on the Unplanned Podcast Instagram. Thank you. No, Matt, that's not on topic. That's on topic because that was an assumption about me that I did Ozempic. Oh, you're right. Assumption. You did Ozempic. Wrong. Assumption denied.

This is the first one. Wow. Heavy hitter to start off with. What do we got? Social media has changed the dynamics of your relationship in good and bad ways. Ooh. True. Honestly. I think there was a big learning curve. And I think more than social media, it was working with your spouse. 1000% that is true. For good and bad. Yeah. And honestly... See, I was about to say it was more bad. But honestly...

it's probably 50 50. it really is it like made the bad things more bad and made the good things more good yeah because we got to spend so much time together exactly ultimately like i think working for yourself is nice because you have flexibility so you choose when you do the hard things in your day rather than like a boss telling you when to do them you decide yourself so i think like getting to be our own bosses has been amazing but then with that when you're working with your spouse

you're telling each other what to do, which can cause a lot of conflict in your marriage. So that's been extremely hard. We've gone to therapy for that and it's been amazing. And we've like found ways to get through that and to, you know, like I feel like our marriage is stronger than it's been in a really long time. Honestly, I feel so good about our marriage. And I think a big part of that is learning when to work together and when to not work together at all. Exactly. And the other thing I wanted to say too is I'm reading a book right now. It's called The Now Habit. It's really, really good. And it's about being your peak,

like having peak performance in your life. Are you in your self-help era? I am. I am. And I love this book. The Now Habit. It's free on Spotify. I'm listening to it. And it's amazing because like it made me something clicked. I was like, I haven't taken a vacation, a true vacation in like,

Four and a half years. Because like every single vacation in the past four and a half years, Abby, I have made content out of it. Yeah. Every single one. And there's been some where like, you know, I took a day off and I, you know, that one day I didn't do any, you know, recording or editing or anything. And again, I feel so blessed that we have this job and the flexibility. But I'm like, I should like take a vacation somewhere.

And not work. Like not edit, not record, not write. Like it's still, I love my work because I'm a creative and it's fun for me. But it's like you need vacations from your job, whether you like your job or hate your job. You still should have a vacation from that. Like you should take time off. And I think it just makes, it's better for your relationships. It's better for your productivity. And I think that's been like honestly a point of...

in our relationship, candidly, because I truly view this just as a job. While I'm extremely grateful for it, I view it just as a job. I don't know if I should say this. I wouldn't do this for free. I think you could say that. That's fine. I would. That's what's funny is I would do this for free. And I know that so many people would that are in this field and that's sometimes why I feel a little lonely in this. I would do this for free. That's so funny. You're hilarious.

But no, I do truly treat this as a job. And I think that it's healthier for me. Like, I have a healthier relationship with social media than you do because I just treat it as a job. But I do feel like we are at a place where...

We're able to have open and honest conversations about where we need boundaries with work and with social media. Exactly. But I will say it's still something we struggle with a lot. Yeah. And I think the second part to that is like working together on a daily basis is harder than we expected. 100%. That assumption is like. One million percent. It's honestly triply hard, harder than I expected. It's like the whole thing, like the two cooks in the kitchen, you know, like rather than just having one cook.

In the kitchen. If you got two of them, they're just going to fight each other. And one of us is like wildly creative. You. And the other is... Really pretty. Not creative. I have other talents, but it's not creativity. You're really freaking smart though. And you don't give yourself enough credit. You are so creative. You came up with...

after trend, after trend, especially in the early days of TikTok. You'd come up with all these freaking creative concepts and everyone copied you. Like everyone would copy our videos and you would come up with the idea. You're so creative and you don't give yourself enough credit. No, thank you. I feel like we could talk about that topic all day, every day because it's what we talk about in our life a lot. Bingo. I feel like nobody wants to hear us talk about that. So let's shut up and talk about something else. Next one. Well, it's honestly kind of in the same vein. Oh, okay. It's social media. You're going to quit YouTube. We kind of already have, honestly. Like we have not, we've posted like

two videos this year. It's been so bad. - That's not quitting because we just took a hiatus, but we're not quitting YouTube. - We're evolving the channel though and I think like the only way for it to be sustainable for us is we can't do everything ourselves anymore. I think I should just hire people to do the editing, to do the production, to come up with the concepts of the videos 'cause I can't transparently work 80 hours a week anymore. It's not healthy, it's not good for my wife, for my kids.

And luckily I did learn that very I did learn that. Oh my gosh, you spend so much quality time Yeah, it's I just want to be with my kids so I can't produce our youtube channel same I want to be with my kids too and i'm so much happier being with you and the kids um rather than working all the time and I think like Not that I did do that. I think they were like you've always ever since our kids have been born You've been really good about that Yeah, but I think I was just I think that's part of why I was so down abby is like I saw how much opportunity we had You know, I just I just felt guilty. I'm like here I am

I should be making a YouTube video a week. I should be putting out a TikTok a day. I feel so blessed that I have this opportunity to be a creative and I'm not fully taking it by the reins and doing it, but it's just not healthy to work that much as a single individual. And I think that's why you see a lot of people on YouTube and people who are creatives in general, they make a team because you can't by yourself long-term do everything on your own. It's just not healthy for one person. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Do we have any questions that are non-influencer related? Because I don't want to bore people with that. I feel like that's like... I like talking about that personally, but I feel like other people don't really care. This one says you're not into PDA.

We are so in PDA. I love PDA. I think we're into PDA. We used to PDA so much in front of people. It was, I think we probably made people uncomfortable, honestly. Yeah, I feel like we still do PDA. I love, I want to PDA with you right now. You look so, that new outfit looks stunning on you. You look so, so, so good. Yeah, I think we definitely PDA'd more, but we still PDA a lot. And, you know, some people don't kiss in front of their parents. Oh,

Oh no, we do. We do it all. We did. Even when we first started dating, we kissed in front of our parents. We slap each other's butts. Actually, I was talking to our brother and sister-in-law about that. My sister-in-law, Abby. Yeah. She said, she got mad at Caleb. She was like, don't kiss in front of. Wait, what? Our parents. They didn't want to kiss in front of her parents? They still don't kiss in front of her parents, I don't think. How do they?

How do they think they made a baby? People have different relationships. No, it's not that they think that they don't kiss, but they just don't do that in front of them. That is the other thing. Like, let's change the subject to sex now. Oh, my God. Everyone does it. It's like brushing your teeth. Why is it such like, oh, we can't talk about sex? It's like literally everyone's doing it.

I understand. But first on the flip side, you're not going to do it in front of people. There's an area of like, and for that same reason, you're not going to talk about it in front of people. There's an, it's, there's a, I get it. There's an air of privacy around that. I just think that keeping that conversation private leads to kids getting pregnant on accident, kids making mistakes, people having issues with consent. I'm like serious. Like I really, like in,

There's a middle ground there, right? Rather than just like talking freely about sex and then not talking about it at all. I think there's a middle ground. I think that's what we do or hopefully we do is just talk about it in a respectful, appropriate way. I want to have an age appropriate way to talk with our children about sex.

As young as possible, age appropriate, because I want them to not have a surprise. I don't want them to like be misinformed. I don't want them to make some stupid mistake. I want them to be aware of like what's going on, especially when it comes to puberty and their body going through changes. I don't want them to be in the dark. I want them to be scared. If we have a daughter who has like her period starts, I don't want her to be freaking out like my body's combusting. It's breaking down. You know, puberty is a lot creepier for girls. Probably. Honestly. Yeah.

Even for guys, though, too. I mean, you're getting hair in places that you never thought was possible. Same for girls. This one says you sold your Airbnb or that it was a way bigger project than you thought. Oh, actually, yeah, we have an Airbnb in Scottsdale. If you guys want to go stay there, leave us a good review.

We'll put a link in the description. Are you really? Yeah, we should. Why not? Okay. There's an Instagram for it. It looks really cute. The Instagram for the Airbnb is really cute. I want to stay there. I want to do a staycation at our Airbnb and swim in the pool because it's a heated pool. So like all winter long when it's like- Is there a hot tub? There isn't a hot tub, unfortunately. Heated pool though. But maybe if enough people stay at the Airbnb and leave good reviews, then we could like use the money we make from it to put a hot tub in and then more people could go.

A heated pool is great. There's a lot of other outdoor things there. Yeah, heated pool, which is awesome. We don't even have a heated pool at our own house. No, we didn't sell it. It's still in the market. It was a much bigger project. It was a way bigger project than we thought. It was horrible. It was like, it took up so much of my time. I will say, it was about as big as I thought it was going to be. I was like, this looks like a nightmare, but you were so gung-ho. I'm like, and I trust you a lot. So I was like, let's just do it. You can look back at our YouTube channel. We had projects.

Problem after problem. We redid the roof. We redid the plumbing. We redid everything inside the house. We redid all the landscaping in the front yard and the backyard. We repainted the house. We put in a pool, which ended up being a huge hassle. Yeah. I don't want to be a flipper. Yeah. I'm not. Yeah. No. I don't like...

I thought I might be like a real estate guy. I'd be like, let's go do real estate. No, not for me. Not for me at all. I'd rather make creative videos and interview cool people on our podcast. I like doing that.

This one says, I assume Abby is going to homeschool her kids slash get a nanny teacher. Ooh. Yeah. Are you going to be the one homeschooling? Yes. Or is your, because I feel like, are you and your mom going to tag team? Because your mom had, you're a teacher, you're a certified graduated teacher, and your mom's a certified graduated teacher. Yeah. Well, my mom taught for 27 years. She got her master's. I think that.

First of all, I'm already teaching them. You are? Griffin knows his letter sounds. A lot of them. That's so sweet. Yeah. We were in the car. I was like, Griffin, what does T sound like? What does T say? He says, T. So we're already working on phonics. Yeah. No. So I feel like education starts right now, obviously, but a more formal homeschool program will probably start as soon as preschool. So like three. Yeah.

But we probably won't be like sure to like specific about it. Like or I shouldn't say specific, but like more intentional about it until kindergarten. In which case, like I want to homeschool them. I really think homeschooling would be a good idea for our kids for multiple reasons, but

One, it just allows you to cater education for your kids specifically. So if your kid is really into music production, you can help them. You can pay for an online music production course and your kid can spend half of their school day learning how to

edit audio to make music. Or maybe they're into farming and they could go be an apprentice on a farm. Seriously, I think you can cater the education specifically for your kid. They could start their own business. There's really nothing you can't do as far as homeschooling. Well, I do want to say before we get too far into this, it is such a privilege to be in the position where we can homeschool because I know there's a lot of moms out there and dads too that...

wish they could be home with their kids so I like view it as such a privilege that I have the ability to like work from home or be home with the kids during the day so that I can do this and so I just want to make the most of that and um we've even talked about like having like a little co-op and like I probably buy a curriculum to go with them just because I

I'm not, I don't write curriculum. Like I need to know, I need to have resources for it, but then we could have like other kids come over in the neighborhood or their little friends. And then I also want our kids to be super involved. Um,

So they'll have like lots of activities with other little kids. So they'll have social interaction. They have a social interaction every single day with other kids. Did you know that my music producer was homeschooled? Did I tell you that? I know a lot of people that are homeschooled. Well, I think it's cool because like he was able to spend a lot of time in his day because he was homeschooled learning how to produce music. And so, yeah, we co-write the songs together and then he produces the song so that there's like an audio file to go on the streaming platforms. And it's like...

It's cool. And that's kind of, I wasn't homeschooled, but going to a private school there, there were some similarities where I got to do a lot of things online.

That was catered to me because of the private school I went to. So I ended up making a ton of videos and that's how I learned how to edit, how to make a script, how to do all that. Because I would make videos for all my projects, which is kind of how we ended up on YouTube eventually. Which, yeah, I think it's really cool how with homeschooling you can tailor it specifically to your kids' interests. I will say, like, I don't know, we'll probably for sure do that when they're really young. But...

As they get in higher and higher grades, I think we'll kind of leave the decision up to them.

Like, if they want to go into school. Like, I don't know. See how they are. I know that they would thrive. Like, they're both very social little guys. And they would, like, love it. Griffin loves story time at the library, for instance. He's always in the very first row. Like, not even sitting with me. So, I know he'd love it. But, yeah. Once they start to have an opinion on those things, we'll definitely hear them out. I don't want them to be like, you have to stay home with me. But...

I would love to spend as much time possible with them. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. We started therapy and it's been amazing. It's been really, really good. Honestly, we've been way happier since starting therapy and it really was BetterHelp that got us to do it because we kept doing ads for BetterHelp.

And we were like, what if we actually did that? So we did. We started their couples therapy. Just like having productive conversations with like a mediator present in a way has been so good. After starting the process with BetterHelp, I'm like, why didn't we do this sooner? It is the most user-friendly experience you could have with therapy. It's entirely online, designed to perfectly suit you and your schedule. You can also switch therapists at any time if you'd

or not like vibing with the person that you're originally set up with. Once we start therapy, like start couples therapy, I'm almost more tempted now to start individual therapy. Now I'm like, this is just so easy with better help. And it's very productive. Everyone could benefit from therapy. I don't care how amazing your life is. Like everyone goes through hard times and therapy is a great way to talk through those hard times. Find your social sweet spot with

BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash unplanned podcast today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash unplanned podcast. Back to the episode. You both have more conflicts since having kids. Honestly, yes. But I feel like our conflict has gone down.

And I think there's two main reasons for our conflict going down. Number one, I think we've gotten out of an extremely stressful time with having very young children who are very needy. And it's just it makes stress levels in your life go up 10 times. So I think getting out of that stressful stage has made our marriage easier transparently because life has gotten easier. And then also we started therapy, which we have started online therapy and it's been really good. I think.

conflict probably in general did go up since having kids and i think that's also because communication gets harder you're spread way thinner with little ones especially two little ones like you're kind of in survival mode with two under two until they go to bed and then you have then you're exhausted so then it's like okay it's harder to communicate like yesterday we were so

tired on date night we were at Chick-fil-a on a date because Abby and I did our first date ever at Chick-fil-a so sometimes we go to Chick-fil-a on a date because it's kind of cute to like remember the first date and we were both like mute during the whole meal I was trying I was trying to I was falling asleep I my sleep score was a 31% out of 100 yesterday because I was up all night with the kids and then one kid woke up at 5 a.m not saying that you weren't up too with the kids because I know that you were up as well

But Abby also just gets better sleep quality than me. Like her genetics, for whatever reason, she can just sleep better. Both your parents struggle with sleep. So I feel like... My sleep sucks cheeks, dude. I like... We'll go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time. No, I wake up before you. Oh my gosh, you're right. So we'll go to bed at the same time. You wake up before me and then you still get like two hours more sleep. Yeah. It's insane. It's insane. It doesn't make sense. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I would say in general, I do have more conflict, but...

I feel like we always have to give this disclaimer. We're still happily married. And we... I think that's what marriage is. Marriage is a commitment to addressing conflict together and then finding resolutions together. Because you're not going to ever have a marriage that has no conflict. Didn't you just meet two moms at...

somewhere yesterday that had gotten divorced. It says the Children's Museum. You can say that. Okay. Which is really sad. Yeah, I met two moms that were the same age as, that had boys the same age as Griffin and they're both divorced. And here's the thing. I'm sure, I don't know what they went through. No, I don't either. I'm not going to make assumptions. I'm sure it was very, very, very hard.

But I also want to encourage people out there. Like if you're in this, in the thick of the newborn stage, if you're in the thick of like, you know, being pregnant or you just had your kid or you're pregnant and you already have a kid and it's really stressful, like your marriage might be like in a really hard spot. It could be like really, really, really hard. Like I'm talking harder than you ever thought was possible, but just know there's hope for you. Just know that

it's going to get better. And look, everyone's situation is different. So I don't want to generalize. Like if you're in an abusive situation, like please go see help. Please tell someone. Please tell a friend or a family member. Get out if there's abuse. Obviously, like you need safety for you and your kids. But when it comes to the newborn stage, though, it is really challenging. And so...

Just wanted to encourage you with that because it will get better. And our life is so much more easy now. And I'm thankful. That stage was so hard, but I'm thankful for the life that we have now. And I don't like...

I don't know. Sometimes I joke and I'm like, oh, I wish I could just like skip that phase. I think deep down, I don't really mean that. Really? Yeah, like it is really hard. But I don't know, like because then you'd miss out on like, you know, that's just the cute, like seeing your cute, like three month old or your cute one month old. Watching them grow in that first year is so crazy cool. Yeah. You're not going to have close relationship without some conflict. Yeah. And I think that's probably one of the coolest things about marriage too, is that like you have committed to like,

I don't know, overcome together and grow together and learn together. So I feel really thankful for that. And so this one says, you're glad you sleep trained Griffin. A hundred percent. Yes. Yeah. And I will say for those, I know that it's controversial to sleep train. And I think that's the thing is that sleep training can look like a lot of different ways. Like there are so many different ways.

you can take. We personally did taking care of babies. It's really sad, right? Like when you hear them cry, because they will cry. There's no getting around that. You will hear your kid cry. And so I think it was really, really hard on you because you were like, Matt, we can't do this. Like our kid is like crying so hard.

But for at least in our case with both kids, I think like the crying happened like literally on day number one. And then boom, like they would just like you could watch them in the monitor. They they learned to self soothe, which then allowed them to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer, which is.

Ultimately, I would argue has been way better for their health. Well, let me say something. I fought it for a long time. I was like, no, no, no. Yeah, you did. I will not do this. It feels so wrong. So it must be wrong. And I like believed what a lot of people's opinions on it and that it was like going to traumatize my kid. And I was like, I actually just cannot do that. And so I fought it, fought it, fought it, fought it. And then when I finally just committed and did it the way our son was

Was excited to get into his crib. Like now he points to it. Yeah. He tells us. He goes cookie cookie. He wants to get in. He calls his binkies cookies. Why does he call his binkies cookies? I don't know. He wants to get in. He looks. He gets so excited to get in there. His bear's in there. He says bears and binkies. Oh I love that. And he like. And I'm like do you want to go night night? And he's like yes. And he's like starts clapping. And he starts waving bye to everybody. Like he looks forward to getting into his crib. And he still looks.

looks to me as a source of comfort. It's not like he views me like I betrayed him or anything like that. And so I'm just saying from my personal experience, first of all, if you don't want to sleep train your kids, don't sleep train your kids. I don't care. Do whatever you want. But if you're a mom that's like, I want to sleep train my kids, but I feel like it's going to make them sad or like, I don't, I feel guilty to do it. I was you and I'm telling you on the other side of things, our kid sleeps amazing most of the time. Monday night was not the case. But,

99.9% of the time he sleeps amazing and we sleep better because of it and we're better parents because of it because you cannot pour from an empty cup and we weren't sleeping and here's the other thing I knew we needed to do it because I was currently pregnant I was like there's no way I can do this with two babies I think we need to train our youngest now how to get his binkies in his mouth because he wakes up all

All the time needing a binky and we just run in put the binky back in and then you fall back asleep It's time to sleep train him I do that multiple times in the night honey And it's like I think that's part of the reason why my sleep is so bad because then Even though I only get up for you know a minute to go put his binky back in I can't fall asleep for a while after that So I think that's part of the reason why my sleep is so crappy um, and I think we just need to

freaking like he only has one binky in in his crib so we need to just put a party of binkies in there like i'm talking like six you know that we got him 12 binkies for easter let's go really

Really? That's so sweet of you. Oh, wait. It's going up after Easter. It might be going out after Easter. Happy Easter, everybody. I hope you had a great one. Yeah. Hope you ate some good deviled eggs. Do people eat deviled eggs on Easter? Uh-huh. We're having deviled eggs. I feel like my grandma would do that. I'm making brisket for the first time. You're making brisket? I'm excited. I love brisket. Thanks, babe. I hope I can make it. Okay. So, yeah. I'm so glad I did it. And any parent that's going to tell me that I'm a bad parent for doing that. You can suck cheeks. I don't care. I literally do.

we do not care. Here's the other thing. The mom shaming stuff, we don't get that much of it because we don't really show a lot of our parenting. But if we did, I'm sure, and when we did, we got a lot of mom shame. Do not care. I don't want to tell you this, but I know that I'm taking care of my kids as best as they can. Same. So I'm

I used to really take that to heart because I'd see comments like, man, Matt's like a horrible husband or a horrible father. And it would wreck my mental health. I would just felt so like it was made me so sad because I felt so misunderstood. But I...

I've decided to be like you, Abby. I don't read comments anymore. Give me a high five. I don't read comments. You always told me you didn't read them, but you actually were reading them. Well, I still would read them sometimes. Oh, okay. Like I, and I, okay. I did read a comment yesterday that really hurt my feelings. Somebody was like, it was like, Matt's a narcissist. And I was like, that is really, okay. That really hurt my feelings like that. I don't think that's true. I have to ask you. Yeah. Are you a narcissist? I would, I would say I'm not. Okay. Well then,

How would that person know better than you? I don't know. I guess maybe they saw something and they're like, man, this guy. They're a more credible source. I don't know who it was. I didn't even read their name. Than yourself or your wife? What about your wife that spends all day every day with you? Am I a narcissist? No. Okay. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Thank you, babe. No, yeah. So I've just joined. I've decided to be like you and not read comments because I realized like, okay. I read some. People that are like legit. Yeah.

like legit famous people. Like I'm talking about like Kim Kardashian. She's just not going to sit there and like read comments about herself all day. Are you kidding me? Is she going to waste her time doing that? No, she doesn't care. She doesn't care. She knows her worth. She knows that she's valuable. And she doesn't give a frick about what like, you know, user 87231 said about her appearance that day or whatever. Well, here's the thing. I felt bad for not reading them because of all the

the people that were posting nice things and like supporting me, I'm super thankful to them. So then I'll look at those. Um, some, like if I have time that day, I'll look through and I will like heart them or respond to them or just like, sometimes I just read them and I just feel grateful and there's probably no way that person knows that they made my day special. Um, I probably should acknowledge this more, but, um, it's also just not worth it. Um, because then they won't be able to see me as much because I'll be sad and I won't want to make more content. So,

Next assumption is Griffin wears the pants in the family now. Honestly, he does. Yeah. And he's not even two years old yet, but he's in like the terrible twos phase where he will like throw... No, he's not. Well, he'll throw tantrums on me. He threw a massive tantrum yesterday. Yeah. And like, I think it's because he realized that he has choice. So it's funny. This is really funny. He'll go, no. And he'll smile because he's literally, he wants to exercise that he's an individual and he can say no to things. So like...

griff do you want to ride your bike and you'll be like no because he wants to see my reaction because he he obviously wants to ride his bike like everybody knows he loves riding his little his little bike right but um i just think that's hilarious that he he's aware of his ability to choose and i love that for him honestly uh both the boys are daddy's boys actually i'm gonna say they're mama's boys griffin is a mama's boy

It was really sweet when you were gone on a brand trip. I got to spend some amazing like one-on-one time with Griffin just like nonstop because usually I spend 7 a.m. till 8 a.m. with him. You won't have to tell them your schedule. I get to spend a lot of quality time with them. But yeah, anyway, I love my boys, but they've definitely, they're mama's boys for sure. He prefers you.

Which can suck sometimes, honestly. Hurts my feelings. But hey, eventually... Okay, I don't want to do... I don't want to play that game. I love that he loves you. Yeah, I love when he goes through phases too. Yeah, I think when he's older, he's going to go through the stage of wanting to just be with me all the time. Because that's how I was. When I was a little kid, I wanted my mama. And when I got older, I wanted my dad. Don't tell me that. I'm just kidding. I assume you guys don't show affection around your kids. It's actually the opposite. So opposite. We like...

practically make out in front of her. No, I'm just kidding. We kiss in front of them. We kiss in front of them though. I think it's good for them to see that. It is. Like that mom and dad love to, they beam, they smile so big when we kiss in front of them. Yeah. We say we love each other. I'm going to say this right now. I think it's good to PDA in front of your kids. I think you're right. I think your kids love to see you together. And so we'll kiss, we'll go, mmm,

a kiss and then Griffin wants to kiss us and then we hug and then he wants to hug with us and Augie is the same but he obviously can't participate as much but we bring him in hug and kiss yeah and I don't know I just want our kids to know honestly I felt the safest in my house when my parents were like cuddling and like loving each other well like so yeah I think it's good you guys got married young just to be able to have sex wow that is a loaded question uh

yeah yeah kind of honestly yeah honestly which you know what wait wait not just to be able like we really cared about each other and wanted to like commit to one another but i will say that was like one of the major differences do you know that we didn't live together i think my opinion on like getting married young has changed but then but then i go back and forth and here's why oh gosh okay like getting married young

I love you and I care about you and I'm so committed to you. But that was a really big deal that we did that. We were very young when we got married and my prefrontal cortex was not fully developed. Either was yours. Either was yours. So our decision-making ability as humans was not fully developed at that time, which I think can be dangerous because I think if you make a decision without having your brain fully developed, I think that can be freaky, especially...

And look, people get married young and get married in like two months all the time and they live happily ever after and they never divorce and they have a perfect marriage. You know, like you hear about the stories all the time. But the reality... And people also wait a long time and have...

and have their careers and do everything quote unquote right and it doesn't work out. It actually happens a lot of the time. So you see both. You see people that got married for all the wrong reasons and it works and people that get married for all the right reasons and it fails. But that being said, I think maybe waiting until you're a bit older is a better decision. And I think this does get into like, you know, religious reasons of like waiting until marriage and stuff like that, which we don't need to go into right now. But I don't know. I just think like with our kids, I don't want them to rush into a decision that's

It's a really freaking big decision, honestly. It really is. So are you saying you regret marrying me? Not at all. I'm so happy that I'm married to you. I think I got lucky, but I just, I don't know. It's made me rethink things, especially for us, we had dated long enough that our infatuation had faded, but people that are together for a couple months and then they get married, it's

They're fully infatuated. They have no effing clue what they're getting into. That is so scary. Like you're, you're basically making a decision on drugs. It's like you started drinking and you're like picking out who you're going to marry while you're drunk, you know? Cause your, your infatuation is so high. You're not logically thinking through everything. Um, and you're young and you haven't lived a lot of life. You don't understand what you, you don't even know yourself yet. Like you're still figuring out who you are. And it's been cool that like

Being married, we've gotten to figure out who we are together. And it's been wonderful. It's been lovely. But it's also been really hard, too. I think we've been fortunate that it's worked out. But I don't know. I...

Yeah, it's a loaded question. I will say, like, I think even when we were 20 and married, like, we would have said that it's not for everyone. Yeah. And I think that we were, not to just, like, pat ourselves on the back, but we were more mature than a lot of people our age. We were. And so I think it wasn't the same...

It wasn't the same ball game, I guess. Like for us, as compared to like other people, like we, and also what we wanted out of life wasn't what other people want out of life. So for me, I'm like, I think young marriage was a great thing and I wouldn't have chosen anything differently. But, um, I totally, of course, understand the opposite side of things.

Well, okay. And this is like another thing too. If you're married, it's just a fact you have more sex than people that are not married. So like, I don't know. We literally talked about that yesterday. We were like, it's kind of nice. We both have relatively high libidos. So I think it's kind of a great thing. If you're married, you can just freaking send it all the time. It's awesome. It's great. But what was the other thing? Oh, okay. This is what I wanted to say though.

I think getting married young, though, forced us to grow up quickly. It forced us to make...

more mature decisions. And I ultimately think it set us up for financial success. We both worked very hard throughout college. We both saved every penny. We were very tight with our money. We built up a nest egg so that when we lost our jobs during COVID, we were able to pursue a dream of doing social media as a job because we didn't have to scramble and go work at McDonald's to pay the bills. We played it smart. And I think getting married young led us to do that.

Because when I decided to marry you, I started reading book after book about how money worked, how to manage our finances, how to set ourselves up for financial success. Because I did not want to be relying on our parents to pay our bills. And nor would they have let us. I don't think our parents have been like, if you want to get married, you're freaking, you're doing everything yourself. And they did do that. Yeah. Which is as they should. I think that's totally valid. So I guess like I say all that, but then I'm like,

Now you're talking yourself into thinking. And so that's why I'm back and forth. No, I've always had that opinion that it's right for some people and it's not right for other people. But I always personally thought it was right for us. And so I don't know. And we have a good life. Like I'm very thankful for this life. We have an amazing life. And I think getting married young probably played honestly a large part in that. I know. I know.

So I think it was great. Like while everybody was partying and drinking and sleeping around. And again, if you want to live that lifestyle, like go ahead. Like if you want to drink and party and sleep around, like don't hurt people. All the power to you. As long as you're not hurting people, as long as it's you can do literally like it's your life. Like you make the decision you want with your life. So you just kind of contradicted everything. I really did. That's why it's like it's a complex. It's a loaded question. This one kind of builds on that, but it says you financially weren't ready to get married.

Oh no, we were. That's the thing. Like we were financially ready even though we did not make hardly any money. Like we just really, really evaluated our needs versus our wants. And I remember like budgeting...

We first of all, never went out to eat and we budgeted less than $100 a week for our groceries. You spent 75 bucks a week on groceries. Yes. We would shop at Aldi. I still love Aldi. I love that we still shop at Aldi because I just love that I know I'm getting the best price at Aldi. This should be an Aldi ad. Aldi is incredible. We still shop at Aldi. Can you please sponsor our podcast? I love Aldi. Every single week. Every single week I shop at Aldi. And Walmart. I shop at Walmart. If I need food, I'm going to Walmart because they got...

Aldi's the cheapest and then Walmart's next. So I love Walmart. I like specifically remember like certain weeks if I was like adding up what was in our cart and I was like, I'm pretty sure I have some wiggle room because I have some frozen meat so I don't have to buy meat for one meal this week. I would get like those Clancy's pretzels.

and that was like our snack that's so sweet like we didn't even buy snacks like we just bought meals to like remember how we would get the five dollar champagne at walmart and we would like have you would get that i'd be like matt that's not a budget i know i was like i was like i'm so bougie like i'm getting the five dollar champagne i thought it was so extra like

To spend five bucks. Yeah. All that to say, we were financially in a place where we could more than meet our needs at the time. We were living very simply. We were frugal. And we had savings. What's cool is you can go back on our YouTube channel and see our first apartment together. It was so cute. Yeah.

And I love that place. I just. I love that place. What was I going to say? Oh, we've repeated this a million times. But yeah, we lived in low income housing because like we weren't looking at for that specifically. But then we realized that we were. We found a nice apartment and they were like, oh, dang, we can't live there because it's low income. And then we're like, wait a minute. We are low income. And then we applied. God.

approved and lived there and it was great. You had to make less than $30,000 a year combined married jointly or whatever. And together working part-time in college, we didn't make more than 30 grand in a year. We actually, I think our, I think our tax return from 12 grand, I think it was 12, just shy of $12,000. Granted, we were living in Missouri where things were a lot more affordable. That was 2019 I think is when.

Yeah, so it's for 2019. So anyway, kind of crazy, dude. We have so many stories from that apartment building. Thank you so much to Haya for sponsoring today's episode. Our oldest is only a few months away from being two. So it's time to start thinking about what kinds of vitamins he should be taking. And if I know that kid...

I know that he likes a good surprise. That is right. You can give him his vitamins and he'll think it's like dessert because they taste so good. These high vitamins, I've heard they're pretty delicious. Let's think about this. We already are giving our kids sweets. So if we're going to give him something that tastes sweet, why not make it something that's actually good for him? That's

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It's all good stuff. I love that. Plus, Griffin has his own little Haya bottle. They come in these reusable bottles. Well, they come in these little packets that you can put in your reusable bottle so you're not constantly getting containers that you have to toss when you run out. Yeah. And they can decorate them and personalize them. That's really cute. It's really, really cute. With all the little stickers. Yeah.

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Actually, quite the opposite, you guys. Having our in-laws here has been great. It's been great for them, for us, for the kids. It's just been... I love it. I'm a fan of blended family. Is that what it's called? A blended family or multi-generational family? Yeah, I mean, that's what it is. What's it called? Yeah. Well, not blended family. That's like... What is that? I'm pretty sure when people have... People have adoptions? No, no, no. I think it's like, say we got divorced and...

And then like I moved in with the kids to somebody else's house that has kids. Got it. No, it's great. And we're actually looking at, funny enough, we're looking at getting a studio space for our podcast so that this room that we're in right now can just be only for Abby's parents because we love them and we want them to, like all of our podcast gear, we have like cameras and mics and lights that are just like sitting in here all the time. And I'd rather have a studio so that they can have- It's more comfortable for them.

for them in here. More comfortability in our house and they can like, you know, play games in here and stuff. We like eat dinner with them a lot of nights out of the week and I just like always have someone to talk to. My mom's actually just like one of my closest friends and it's just nice to always have people there. Like my dad says goodbye to me every morning.

I go to the gym at 6 a.m. That's so cute. And when I come home, it's just, I love having a full house. I love having a lot of people around. I just love having an open door to anyone and everyone. So,

I love having them here. We're not supposed to live this life alone. You want to live it with friends and family. Exactly. It's fun to have people over. We always have my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law over to watch The Bachelor when The Bachelor's on. And we'll have dinner together. And then your grandparents are always visiting. We just had both your grandmas, honestly, visited in the last month. So it's kind of fun. Every single room in our house is filled.

Always. It's wonderful. I love it. You never broke the law. I think you've had some speeding tickets recently. Yeah, you've had to. You've had to wait. You had a third one today. No, no, no. But today there was a motorcycle cop literally just aiming it at everyone. And I'm like so scared of them now.

I'm sorry. Motorcycle cops are the worst because apparently all they do is just... He was literally sitting there just aiming it at anybody in this construction zone where there was already a different speed limit than the posted one. They had changed it because of the construction. I was like, this seems like a trap, but... I hate that, dude. Dude,

Let's talk about your ticket for a second because I think it's ridiculous. It's no, no, it's not ridiculous because I was speeding. But Abby, in Arizona, everyone drives like 25 over. So everyone's driving 25 over. If you're driving slower than everyone else on the road, that is a hazard. That is not safe. If you're driving super slow and everyone's going 10 miles over what you're going, like you're more likely to get in an accident. And so you were just keeping pace with all the other cars around you. I wasn't even aware of the speed I was going because I'm just like,

oh, I'm blending in here. And was it 17 over? What was it? Yeah. So then you get a ticket for 17 over while everyone is going like 25 over. Yeah. Which is so dumb. Yeah. So dumb. But that's just Arizona because it was a 50 but everybody was going 70 and then you were going like 60 something. Yeah. Or was it a 50? Maybe it was a 55. It was a 45 but when he pulled me over he said, no, no, it was a,

I think it was a 45, but he's like, are you aware that you were going whatever speed I was going in a 35? And I said, I was like, what in the world? What? I didn't know it was 35. And I was like, man, I really was speeding. But then even on my ticket, it said 45. So I think he pulled me over thinking that the speed limit was less than it was. Yeah. Because he told me 35, but it was 45. But then he still got me. Were you hurt by my song? Still not enough. Oh, my gosh.

no no no no that pisses me off honestly like that song was not about me yeah it wasn't to do with me and also the thinking behind that is just so stupid to me like matt is struggling with his mental health and so he shouldn't tell me that because it might make me sad

Yeah. What in the world is a marriage for? We hold each other and carry each other through our burdens and it's not my job to make you feel better. Yeah. But what in the world is a marriage if you can't tell me how you're feeling?

I mean, that's just so dumb and honestly just shows you the lack of the people commenting that are not married. They're not married. That's all it tells me. I was really hurt by the comments on those videos that I posted to promote the song. But I think what I quickly realized... What did they say? I didn't even read them. It was just everybody like basically... I mean, it's okay. Like people caring about you, but it was basically completely ignoring like me opening up about this like really vulnerable part of my life where I was depressed. Because here's the thing is if you are...

if you are someone that loves and like is for me, then you are for my husband. Yeah. Point blank period. Like that is just because you're a good man. If you're a bad guy, it'd be something different. But like if you support me, then you support Matt. That's just how it goes. Yeah. Like if you don't, then you're not really for me. I think what it really taught me though is like it just taught me so much about our culture and how our culture views men and how men are like

expected to just bottle up all their emotions and their feelings and not talk about them. And I said this in a video that I posted, but there's a reason that men take their life four times more than women do. I think there's no question. Just to be clear, that's not something you've struggled with. No,

No, just as far as like depression, I've never struggled with depression. It really was brought on by this job. It's really been brought on by reading negative comments, reading people's opinion about myself, feeling so misunderstood. And I think feeling misunderstood is just, it's horrible. It feels horrible when you feel like somebody has this fake idea of who you are in their brain. It probably messes with your own self-identity.

Yeah, it really did, honestly. And so like, that's why I mean, a big part of why I wrote that song was because there's a lot that goes into it. I could talk I could I could talk for two hours about why I wrote that song. But one of the pieces of why I wrote that song was reading negative comments about me that like really, really messed me up. And something about me is like, I just like to know I like to know things. I'm very curious. So if I ever see like

someone made a mean video about me or commented something mean about me, then I go on this rabbit hole, right? Where then I go searching for all that mean stuff. So it's like I'm searching for the YouTube video or the TikToks or whatever hate videos that were made about me. And then I spend like hours of my time watching these videos, which then F my mental health up really bad. So I've made the promise to myself that I'm not gonna do that anymore because...

people's view or opinion or false whatever about me does not define me. And so I think like, so yeah, a lot of that was right. Because I've never struggled with depression or had those thoughts until doing this job, which is crazy. And I thought it's just like, don't read the freaking comments. Or like people are like, they're making up lies about you. It's so stupid. Wait, did you ever hear about that? What?

There's some famous person. I can't even remember it. Maybe he's a rapper or something, but that tweeted, this isn't true, but it is kind of funny. Why is it funny? He's like, how the hell are you getting cyberbullied? Just turn off your computer. Dude, I wish it was that easy. That's so funny, though. No, I agree. It's not true, but also it's kind of funny.

kind of true in a way well you know what you know that's why Taylor Swift took like multiple years I think she took two years off of music after she got in that big controversy with like Kanye West and stuff that I watched the documentary honestly I was really like I can see why people love Taylor Swift I'm honestly a Swifty now like I love her music I love her as a person yeah because you can just I loved how the documentary humanized her and you could just see it's on Netflix but you just saw how much hate she was getting how misunderstood she was and I could relate so

so much. Now, what I went through was like 1% of what she went through. People know who I am, but I'm not famous like Taylor Swift. That's not even close. She is the most famous person on this planet. But I could relate so much. And so it was almost encouraging to see how she was able to come back from that because I'm like, okay,

If Taylor Swift can have 40,000 people at a Kanye West concert chanting F Taylor Swift, I can come back from seeing these like really mean videos and really mean comments that wreck me, that like screw up my mental health so bad. I was like, I can come back from this. I can rise above. So anyway, thank you, by the way, for just like your support with my music. Like yesterday when you were telling me

uh how you thought it was cool that my songs were out to hit a million streams on spotify that's meant a lot like you you just being like hey congrats on your streams getting close to a million like it really meant so much to me yeah i feel like i don't tell you enough how proud i am like you and for putting yourself out there it's not easy and it hasn't been easy for you yet you keep going and that is like an amazing inspiration to me and i can't say that i would do the same

It's been really hard. Like, honestly, it's been really transparently. Like there's been a lot of times I've wanted to quit because it's just, you know, people are like, Matt, you're a dad. Go be a dad. Go be a father. Stop trying to make music. Which like literally just doesn't make any sense. Like when you think about it, like,

Like your dad, you need to quit your job. Just like you can't. And you also can't do anything for yourself. Why are you your dad? Why are you playing basketball? But makes no sense. Like I can understand how someone who doesn't know me could see me through this lens of like, oh, Matt is a dad on TikTok. So.

So me being me doing something else in their brain, they're like, oh, he's abandoned his role as a father now. He's he's neglecting his children to go make music. That's how they're viewing it, because they think that they're seeing my whole life in video form, if that makes sense. So I think that's why they're making that mistake. You should think that they also know that they live their own life.

So they should know that other people are just doing the exact same. Like our life is just. Yeah. I think they lack the intelligence to think critically about what's actually going on. Yeah. And so I don't know. But that's just why I shouldn't read comments anymore. And that's why I've decided not to. Well, this is a long and we don't need to harp on hate. But this this assumption says you regret being influencers because of the hate.

Oh, yeah. You know, it's the hate is horrible. It's by far the worst part of the job. Like ever seeing mean things about you. It's it's so, so horrible. Your opinion on this might be different than mine. I think for myself, I love creating so much that I think it's worth it. I think like something that I still need to do. We've started marriage therapy, but I think we I need to start therapy just for myself.

Just I think it'd be helpful to like talk to somebody, you know, just to talk about how I feel and think and to talk about the nature of the job, because I think it can really mess with you. And it has really messed with me in the past. So I think therapy is something that I need to do. But yeah, for me, it's it's as horrible as that is. I love creating so much that I don't think I could ever quit. What about you? Would you quit? Like would I quit?

Yeah. Social media. Do you regret it at all? Sometimes. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't know. Not all the time. I think in general, no, but sometimes, yeah.

For me, it's kind of like you talk to somebody who is a professional skydiver and it's like, you know, you could like die skydiving, right? And even skydivers, you'd think like they're not afraid of death, but like they are. They don't want to die either, but they love the joy of jumping out of a plane and that thrill that they get that it's worth the risk of like potentially dying. And for me, I guess it's like the same way. Like even though getting hate is...

so horrible getting canceled is so horrible like the joy of creating is so much fun that i can't see myself doing anything else to elaborate on like to build off of what you're saying like you're saying the the cost is worth the reward but for me like the reward i never wanted oh yeah so then sometimes the cost i'm like

Like I didn't want this reward. But maybe I have a different reward and that's what I want. And that is like my freedom, my time with my kids and like all these other things. So most of the time, no.

But sometimes, yes. You know what's made me realize too, Abby? What? It's like having people misunderstand you and having people make hate videos or whatever. It's made me really understand how media works. And I truly think that we probably misunderstand so many people. Oh.

I think that all the time. I bet you we have... There's probably people that people hate that are actually amazing, wonderful people. And there's probably people that people love that are actually terrible, awful people. Oh, I'm sure. Because some people are just really good at PR and others are not. I'm not a PR expert, okay? I am like the furthest thing from it. I am not good at PR. You're just yourself. And yeah, I've made so many dumb mistakes. Not a PR guy, but like...

I've just realized, though, that we just view this like...

A lot of the stuff that we have gotten, though, or a lot of stuff that I have gotten have been through clips or short videos. You can clip Mother Teresa to make Mother Teresa look like the villain, and you could clip Hitler to look like a saint. Seriously, you could take any person on this planet and clip their life to make them look to fit whatever narrative you want. And I think that truly is what happens with the media. It's crazy. I think there's a Malcolm X. Malcolm X, I'm pretty sure, has a quote.

about how the media can make the innocent look guilty and the guilty innocent. And I truly 100% believe that. Oh, I know that's a fact. When I first read that, I was like, oh, that's interesting. But like now I 1,000,000% believe that.

Yeah, for sure. And I do think that having done this career, it kind of makes me, I've become a little bit more jaded. Well, you just don't believe everything that you hear. Yeah. I hope that people have the intelligence to like investigate everything that they're told. Like, don't just take it for face value. Don't accept everything that you're told. Like, you should investigate and come up with your own opinion. Like, don't even trust. It's just so hard to do.

When people hear things from another person, they just accept this fact. You know, someone that's a bad person that got really bad PR that actually is a terrible, horrible person. Who? What? I feel comfortable saying this. Ruby Frankie. Oh, gosh. Ruben in court, Matt, she pled guilty. So it's like, it's not just talk. It's not just gossip. I'll be honest. I haven't looked into that literally at all. I know nothing. So enlighten me what happened. She literally...

Tortured her chill her own children. That's so effed up tortured them. And then here's the thing She was like i'll be honest. I can't believe like I can't believe someone could actually do that to their kid No, my brain could not even go there. Thank goodness I just listened to the dateline the audio and I didn't watch it to see the visuals She put her kids in handcuffs. I can't even talk I don't even know if you should even say it but the things that she did to her children honestly is heinous to me It's not even heinous it

i don't understand how this happens yeah and so it's just like yeah she and the she is the fact that she was a youtuber too i am sorry i got off track but she's okay she's been in really bad media and she deserves it so sometimes if the shoe fits the media does absolutely nail it yeah and she's that's horrible horrible person gosh i don't want her to ever get out of jail

Yeah, that's a that's a we could have a whole podcast about that jail rot in jail. That's what i'm saying Something about you though. You don't support the death penalty No, do you still stand by that? Like you see how horrible some people can be do you still stand by not supporting the death? I say rot in jail

I agree, because the death penalty is actually more expensive for taxpayers. We spend more money. Am I even talking about the absolutely horrible thing that happened to that baby? Rot in jail. Rot in jail. Never see the light of day. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. We got to get this lighter because the fact that the Ruby Frankie thing in that other case literally ruined yesterday for me. Okay, let's have a happy conversation. The fact that people can hurt children makes me know that this world is so effed up. Let's have a happy conversation. This one says...

What do we got? You two have a gentle parenting style slash having two kids is easier than you thought. Those are kind of two different things. So let's do the first one. You have a gentle parenting style. What does that mean? It's a parenting style. I don't know. I don't understand. I don't know what any of the parenting styles are. Okay, so I guess you should know that if Matt doesn't know what that is, then we don't have a gentle parenting style. Gentle parenting. I don't really know a lot about it. Is that like the choice of yours? Like that's not one of your choices? Is that like what that is? I don't know. Okay. Okay.

We don't have a gentle parenting style. I think we have yet. Like our kids are so young. We're basically just keeping them alive. I think we're getting to the point where we need to have more of a parenting style because Griffin now is being more vocal and communicating to us. Yes, but I think it's good to have...

obviously age appropriate rules but the three basic rules that he's not violating them i'm not going to intervene is like he can't hurt himself he can't hurt others yeah and he must be respectful and if he's not violating one of those three i'm pretty much just like let him roam free and make his own i love that about you i love that your team let our kids do what they want to do because i love just like

helping their creativity flourish. I want them to have the biggest imagination. I want them to be able to think and dream of anything they possibly could imagine. And I want to support them in whatever thing they want to do. If they want to ride horses, I want them to ride horses. If they want to play hockey, I want them to do that. If they want to paint portraits of Mona Lisa, I don't care. Something I don't ever step in for is messes. And I'm sure you've noticed that. Like if he's making a mess, I do not care. I think that that's part of learning and exploration. Yeah, you let our kids rub mac and cheese in their hair.

I feel like I have like a kind of like hands off parenting style, but not in a like passive way. Like I'm involved. Like with whatever my kids are doing, I just kind of like let them take the lead. And then unless they're hurting themselves or hurting others or being disrespectful, then I step in. You're a really, really incredible mother.

Thank you. You are. You're an incredible mom. I really, you're an amazing dad. You're, you're a really, really, really good dad. And a lot of people don't see, obviously you as a dad and I get to witness that like so intimately. Thanks. And you're just all heart with our children. Like it's so cool. It's been special just to, you're also just so passionate about fatherhood that I just think a lot of people would be surprised by. Like that's really sweet. You were really good at it and really passionate and you're just very natural to it. Thanks. I love being a dad.

It's so much freaking fun. It's the best. Were you going to say something? I interrupted you. No, you're good. Okay. This one says Abby isn't happy with how she looks postpartum, even though she looks like a goddess now. You're a babe. Okay. You look stunning. How do you feel though? I feel very, I, here's the thing. I am happy with, I'm happy with how I look. Good. I'm so proud of you. I feel like a lot of times you're not like, you look like a smoke show of a woman and you're like unhappy with something. At least how that's how it used to be. No,

said, I'm allowed to miss my pre-pregnancy body and that doesn't have to be a negative thing. You look pretty freaking awesome. I do miss my pre-pregnancy body. If I could snap my fingers and be what I looked like before I was pregnant, I would. But

self-deprecating and here's the thing what I've learned through this is that it's never been about how I look I don't care how I look really like I'm gonna work out because I do want to have a healthy body and I do do my makeup because I think it's fun and creative and I feel more confident with it all these things but postpartum

Has taught me that it's not about what I look like. Isn't that so freeing to just like view yourself with value despite how you look? Isn't that like, it's just such a freeing thing for sure. Cause like, I feel that like with buzzing my hair off, I feel that like transparently I need to go to the barber and get this cleaned up. Cause I, it's like, it's patchy. Okay. Like there's parts, there's parts where the hair does not look very good. And yeah,

I would have never... In the past, I would have never gone around in public like this or, you know, I don't know. Just be seen. If my hair looked this not good, I would have been like, I'm wearing a hat for sure. I'm losing my hair. You can see I have like...

scalp showing, okay? Like it's, I've got a receding hairline. Like it's just, it is what it is. I personally would love to have more hair. So I ordered some products to help with my hair. I ordered a freaking Rogaine, which is like a- Did you actually? I got it prescribed. Yeah, I did like this online assessment and I got Rogaine. It's coming in the mail.

But like, I know that I have value and I don't give a frick. Like it feels so good to just know that you're valuable despite how you look. Cause I used to, it used to be backwards for me in my head. I didn't view anybody else like this, by the way, I viewed everybody as valuable despite how they looked or whatever. Cause it's just like, we're all humans. But for myself, it was different for myself. I thought that I had to look a certain way.

to be worthy of value. I had to like act a certain way. And now I just, I recognize my innate value and it just feels so much better. And I'm glad that you have that. Like, of course I don't, I still care about what I look like. It's just never been, it's just not important. You are so hot. You're so nice.

this one says having two kids is easier than you thought. Yeah. Yeah. Actually. Yeah. Because you've already had the life altering experience of living your life completely selflessly to keep another human alive, healthy, happy. And, um,

So you've already just completely shifted into parent mode. Yeah. That for us, at least like having a second one, it was such an easier transition because it's like, oh, we already know about naps and feeding and sleep. Like it just got a lot easier. You're so right. I think we are expert parents now. We get how it works. No, no, no, no. No, seriously. Like we know how this works. We get it. We understand it before we had no clue. So I think again.

It gives me the confidence that I need for another kid. Like if that's something that we decide to do, you know. I think what helped having two kids is we had appropriate expectations. Yeah. Whereas like going into the beginning, we were like so blissful. Like you can't, you can't know until you know. So I'm not saying we did anything different. I'm not trying to tell anyone. You just can't know until you experience it. And now then we had accurate expectations for the second time around, I think.

This one says your relationship is far better now and intimacy is a lot better after the newborn stage passed. One million thousand percent. Yes. I mean, it's been so good. No one's having the best intimate time of their lives. No one's having good sex while they're two months postpartum. That is not. No, some people might. I don't know. How? I kind of doubt it. How? I guess you could be fighting other methods, but like you're not actually doing it if you're two months postpartum. Well, I know you could. Yeah, six weeks. It's not enjoyable. Not enjoyable for anybody. Yeah.

It's painful. I mean, for the woman, it's just, it's hard. It's a hard adjustment period. It was a hard adjustment. I feel where I sleep deprivation and the hormone change. I was even thinking about sex. I was so tired. I was like, Oh, sex. What is, what even is that? I'm so exhausted right now. I have no idea what even that is. I was so tired. Yeah. I was so, so tired. This one says y'all are secretly pregnant with baby number three. Oh, okay.

Dude! Wait, how crazy would that be? How crazy would that be if that actually was the case? That would be... Why would I right now, like if you were like, I'm pregnant, I would cry. Like I would be so happy. I don't know why. Wait. Yeah, I don't know why. That's so sweet. Why are you tearing up? I love you. I don't know. I love you. I love you too. We're not pregnant and we tell ourselves every single day we're not having this conversation until later about baby number three and then we still talk about it every single day. So...

Yeah. I'm going to leave this one up to Matt because I think I've made it clear that I would love, love, love to have another baby. But also, I feel like, okay, I'm going to be honest about something.

Before we had our first child, my desire to have a baby was... It was intense. It was insane. It was like a primal thing. Like, it was in my bones. Like, I need to have a child. Like, it was like a crazy thing. Like, I will say, I really, really, really needed to. And so now I am a mother and...

I am so, I feel like a part, like the fun, it's like, you know, my, my identity, if my identity was a puzzle, it's like I'd found the piece right in the middle that I like completed my puzzle of like my identity. Like it's here and I could cry. I'm so happy to be a mom. And so it's like, yes, like my pieces are all here, but.

And I like love my boys so dearly and I treasure every moment with them. But I would be lying if I told you that I didn't think there was another member of our family

At least one that we haven't met yet. You're so beautiful. Thank you. So all that to say, I'd love to have another child, but I am totally, I am 100% content with our family. But I do think there's another member of our family. Why do I feel so encouraged right now? Like, why do I feel like, let's just go make a child? You know, like, why do I actually feel that way? Let's not do that. And I feel so, and I don't, okay. And I want to have a disclaimer here because like,

Obviously with marriage, you got the highs and lows, right? I feel like this truly is a high. Everything is so like, it feels like we're in a movie. It feels like it's perfection, right? But with anything in life, there's highs and lows. So I feel like we're on the high. But I don't know. I just want to recognize like being a dad has been the most incredible thing. And I love my kids more than I ever thought was possible. They are part of my heart.

Like my heart is with them. And I just didn't, I didn't know that type of love until becoming a dad. And like you, part of me was missing before having kids. I just didn't know it. You knew it. You knew that you had a piece of your puzzle missing. Yeah, because the piece was right in the middle. And I was like, it was glaring at me. I was like, man, I just want this puzzle to be complete. And yeah. And now it's complete. We're parents. You're a mom. I'm a dad. I literally am so tired of...

Trying to, yeah, I don't know. I love you. I love that you're a mom. I love seeing you as a mom. You're such an amazing mom. Thank you. I feel, here's the thing. I know I'm a good mom.

So like, I just, it's something that I'm just like, I feel good. I'm like, thank you for saying that. But also I don't need any other outside validation. Like I know I'm a good mom and that doesn't mean I think that I've got everything figured out. I ask other people for advice literally all the time and I look things up and I read books and I'm looking at other moms online. So it's not that it's not like this like stupid arrogance, but I think that I have everything figured out, but I do have a lot of assurance. I'm like, I'm a good mom.

This assumption says Abby wants another baby, but Matt doesn't. How do you feel about that assumption? See, and look, like my opinions can change, I guess. Like I want to give that disclaimer because it's like you can say something and your mind can change. But I think my mind has changed, honestly. Really? Pregnancy and postpartum is so hard. And again, I want to like say the elephant in the room that it is...

harder on you. Yeah. So I don't I don't want to act like oh it's it's so hard on me as a dad.

But it is like think about and this is a weird analogy, but like think about if somebody's in the hospital with like cancer and they have a caretaker like their spouse or something. It is harder on the person that has cancer, right? Like they are they're going through it. But it's also hard on the person that's taking care of them. You can't ignore them. You can't ignore the fact that their life is hard, too. It isn't as hard as the person that's actually experiencing the thing. But the person walking alongside the person experiencing the thing is also going through it as well. Of course.

And so that's what it felt like for me. It felt like really freaking hard. Did I turn into a monster when I was pregnant? No, I just think like, no, I just think it's a challenging time. I did cry every day. It's challenging. And I think the more that we can talk about that, the more that people can have the right expectations going in. Also, let me give this disclaimer. I think we probably had more difficult kids in the newborn stage than most people have. We had kids that would scream a lot. They were colic kids.

Luckily, and I'm so thankful, my brother and sister-in-law, their baby is an angel. He never cried. I've never seen that kid cry. Yeah.

Yeah, like their their house is quiet their house like it's so it's not stressful Like i've never once seen okay, maybe i've seen him cry for like two seconds and i'm so happy for them I'm, so happy that they have this like angel newborn that is just perfect and like doesn't i'm sure he doesn't even poop and pee I'm, just kidding. Okay. That was a really stupid joke But um, it was really freaking hard for us. And so I think that's why I was like, absolutely not

Absolutely not. Because I'm like, this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. And I'm not even the one that's pregnant. I'm not even the one that's birthing the kid. But it's the hardest thing I've ever done. That's why I was like, there's no freaking way. But I think now that I've gotten to the other side, we know that there's like hope. And I'm like living in it now. Like I'm getting...

I'm getting to be an individual again. I just shaved my head. I'm dropping music. Like I'm, I have an identity. I have an identity outside of my children. Yeah. And in the midst of- I actually don't, so. In the midst of all that, I thought my identity, and look, my identity is permanently changed. I'm a father now and I love it. I love being a dad. It's one of the greatest joys in my life. I love being a dad, but I was so scared because I thought my whole identity was going to be dad. Dad.

That's it. I was terrified. I was like, I can't just like lose everything that I've ever become and just like only be a dad. Exactly. And only in like my whole life is just being a dad and there's nothing else. That scared the frick out of me. And for a while, that's really kind of all you were doing. Yeah, it was. And.

And that's not, I don't think that should be the expectation. Like while that's all I want, that's not my expectation for you. And so now I have balance. Like I get to spend time with you in my day. I get to spend time with my kids in my day. I get to write music in my day. I get to create TikToks promoting my music. I get to make our podcast. Like it's,

it's been so good to and i get to hang out with my friends like and look that doesn't happen on a daily basis like those things are all spread out through the week or the month or whatever we've gotten to travel together we've gotten to do all these things and it has been so good to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel because in once when we were in the midst of that i was like man this is my life forever i'm never getting out of this so i i've gotten the other side i can see that there's i don't know it was just it was just a hard time so yes now i'm like

I can 100% honestly I want to have another kid like being transparent with you I want to have a baby number three I love my kids so much I want another one this one says you are considering no more babies so I guess that's

I feel like that's out, honestly. We were considering no more babies. And you know what? I would actually tell other people we might be done just to see how it felt because of how you were pretty certain that you were done for a little bit there. I would say, yeah, we might be done. But the timing- I got rid of all my maternity clothes. Here's the thing though, with the timing of that, like I think that maybe baby number three-

could come five years from now. Baby number three could come 10 years from now. You are still able to have children at 35, right? A lot of people have kids at 35. My mom had my brother at 30, me at 32, and my younger brother at 36. So it's like, you could have a baby 10 years from now at 35. And that could be, we could have two kids at 35 and 36. We could go back to back again, knock them out. Maybe it's twins. Maybe we have twins at 35. Who knows?

But I think like. That sounds a little scary. It does. But I think it's, but it's encouraging though. Cause like, I almost want to spread out the fun in a way. Yeah. It's like, we're going through this fun stage. We're getting to see our kids be like cute and little. And so like maybe when our kids are, maybe when Griffin and Augie are like 10, maybe when we want to go with round number two and pop out two more, you know, maybe that could be fun. I don't know. We'll need to, we'll need to figure that out. Okay. I've been talking a lot. What do you think, babe? Um, when we got married, I said four kids. Yeah.

I would still be over the moon to have four kids. Honestly, I could see us doing that. Like I could, I could totally see that. But I also understand that it's a family decision. So why does that seem so fun? Like some, like maybe set, like, okay, let's go in the, let's take the median of five and 10. Let's say seven and a half years from now. So I will be, so seven and a half years from now, I will be 33.

And you will be 30, 32. So what if at 33 and 32 we have baby number three? Like that could be really cool. Do you want to have them before you're 30? Yes. Oh, okay. What if we had them at, like what if we had baby number three at 30? No. No? That wouldn't be my ideal timeline. What if we got pregnant at 29 and then the baby came while you're... I was thinking 27. See, that scares me. Honestly, that scares me a little bit. Well, that's what I'm saying. We don't have to figure it out right now. Yeah, we don't have to figure it out right now.

This one says, baby number three will be named after Abby's grandpa. That's a really sweet thought. Wait, that's really sweet. That's really sweet. I like the idea. We've been using family names as our kids' middle names, which has been really sweet. Yeah. Because Griffin's middle name is Douglas, which is your grandpa who passed three years ago. That was his middle name. And then August, his middle name is Jacob, which was my great grandpa's first name.

Yeah. I mean, I think that's a really sweet thought. I feel like who knows how that would work out. No, but know what nobody does is name. Like if they have a daughter, they never name it after the mom. What if we did that? Like, what if we had like a little Abby, if we had a daughter, that'd be kind of cute. Named her Abby. Yeah. No. Would that be, that'd be too confusing. Cause we have, we already have a sister-in-law named Abby and then our other sister-in-law is Addy. So that might, that would, that would confuse everybody. I would almost say any other name but Abby. Yeah.

Talking about more kids has started fights. Yeah. Actually, it has. It has. Especially early on. Because, Abby, like, you knew in your head that you wanted more. But, like, I just couldn't see the other side at that point. I was like, please shut up. I was like, please. Well, no. I also had, like, a hormone thing that was, like, I...

I need, I have an empty womb. It must be full again. Like it was just a hormone thing. Yeah. Well, this one does say Matt is done having kids for five plus years, which that might be true. Honestly, that's pretty accurate because I think I need to give my brain enough time to reset, forget about the newborn stage, forget about how hard it is. And then I'll just get thrown right back in.

You know, I think all the stuff I've learned, like changing newborn diapers, I think it'll be like muscle memory, like riding a bike. You know how like if you don't ride a bike for five years, you can just like hop right back on and ride a bike. I think it'll be like that with kids. Yeah. Maybe we should consult our comment section for that because maybe there's somebody out there that waited like five years to have their next one. You know what I've heard from people that have big gaps is that they forgot everything. Oh, okay. Well...

We could record a video. We could do like a how to have a kid tutorial. You know what? I will be honest with you. We could make a whole series of like teaching ourselves how to have kids, like teaching everything and then watch the video five years from now. Do you know what I heard though? What? I've noticed that not to...

Not to try to prove my own point. Yeah. But the people that have bigger age gaps, while they're like, I love my kids, they think that, like, they wish they were closer together. Okay. What's the age gap that you want? In your ideal perfect world. Should I even say this online? I don't care. What is it? I would try for baby number three, like, right after Augie's second birthday. Okay. Okay.

Honestly, that could be more doable. Honestly. I just picture a three-year-old Griffin and a two-year-old Augie running into the hospital room to meet their little sibling. They would be old enough at that point to kind of understand what's happening and be so excited. That's so sweet. If you had to choose today, if baby number three would be a boy or a girl, what would you choose? I could go

I could go either way. I just want a baby, you know, like I love babies. I love being a dad. It's, it's the greatest joy. I honestly have a really good point. You're kind of selling me there. When my brother, when my younger brother, Josh was born, I was four. So I think if Griffin was four and Augie was three, that could also be really cool. Cause I remember, I remember my little brother being born. It was cool. It was a really sweet moment.

So yeah, maybe a more realistic timeline would be like Griffin being four and Augie being three. So then how many years of you not being like...

sick and stuff, would that give us? That would be almost three years. Okay. That could be... We could maybe work with that. Well, it would be almost three years because if Augie's turned two, then... Knowing that we... Yeah. I think like two years from now, I might be ready to try for baby number three. I think two years from now would maybe be enough time. Yeah, that'd be like a year and a half. Yeah. Maybe that would... Yeah. Maybe that'd be good. Yeah. I don't know. Who knows? But like...

honestly, I think about having another baby and it being a boy and I'm so excited to have like three musketeers. But then I think about us having a little girl and I'm so excited because that's so new. Can you picture this? So we go to Hawaii. I take the kids out surfing and we've got me with my three boys surfing. How, how precious would that be? But a girl can shred too. A girl can shred too. You're right. You're right. We don't want to like, we don't want to. But I will say

there is something special about, I feel like, the relationship between brothers. Yeah, the three brothers, like the Howard boys. Yeah.

The Howard. That would be cute. Like the Howard boys. We could, it's like the restaurant in Hawaii, Seven Brothers. Oh yeah. That would be cool. What if we had seven? What if we had seven kids? Dude, I will tell you, I would love, because I just feel like there's some people, some women can probably relate to this. I have no other aspirations other than to be a mom and to like love my children and play with them and take care of them and raise them. And like that's,

That's all I want to do. That's literally my purpose in life. So then I'm like, if I could have seven, love that. That's good. I think, okay, that actually is, I'm glad you brought that up because that is one of my reasons why I was like, I have been hesitant about having more because then I feel like,

Me spending, you know, between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. with Griffin and Augie and then 5 till 7, their bedtime with them every day. Like, and then also doing, I spend all day with them on Saturday and Sunday. But it's like that to me, I love that quality time with them. But if you add like two or three more kids to that mix, then it's like,

That cuts my time with all my kids down by a lot. And I want to have intentional quality time with each and every one of my children. So it does worry me. Like the more kids you have, the less intentional you can be. You just physically can't be as intentional with seven kids as you could be with three. That's what I'm saying. I think max would be five. I think that's good. I think max is five.

Honestly, like I'm kind of sold on four right now. I think four is great. Like four would be so freaking cute. It'd be so cute. I love the idea of everyone like having a buddy. Yeah. But then mom and dad still get to be buddies. Yeah. You know? I just see us like, I just love our family so much. And I just love. I love our family so much. I really, I hope no one hearing this.

sees us as gloating yeah but i also think it's i'm inspired by other happy people to also be happy one thousand percent yes that i am so grateful and happy for my life i have an abundance mentality where it's like there's enough for everybody there's enough for everybody to be happy and i think like happiness rubs off on people like it just it spreads like wildfire and so does charitable

Being charitable. Being charitable because people are like, if I can influence someone to buy a makeup product, I can also influence someone to serve and to volunteer. So like people being mad at someone for saying that they're happy, how silly because you can also be influenced to be happy. Being mad at someone that's volunteering and saying, oh, you're just trying to look good doing this for your image. Yeah.

No, like they can also influence you to take part in your community and volunteer. I completely 100% agree. Some people just look through life in such a negative lens. Yeah, I think you gotta have that glass half full mentality, right? Rather than a glass half empty mentality. Yeah, so I'm just saying like, I hope that,

You can look at your own life and see the things that are good and just be so grateful for the good and love your life too. And like make your life something that you love. Like I feel like we've done, I've done things in my own life to shift things and move things around so that I can love my life. And I don't know.

What is this becoming? I'm not a self-help girl. No, you are right now. I'm inspired. Like yesterday on our morning walk, you were just telling me how happy you were and how you were like, I love my life. I love my kids. I love you. I love like you're just so positive and happy. And I love that mentality. I think it really is encouraging to hear that. And you were saying that I'm like, I was like, same. I was like, I love my life. I love this. Like, I love being a dad. I love being a husband. I love being a mom.

So, um, just, it's a, it's a good way to live. It's a good outlook. I think happiness is a mindset more than anything. I think you could be the most, I think you'd be the wealthiest person in the world and be, and be the most depressed. And I think you could be the poorest person in the world and be the happiest. So I think it's like, it really comes down to having the right attitude with, with everything. And it honestly just boils down to do more of what makes you happy. Yeah. Like,

And for me also, that does not just mean like lead an easy life because a lot of things in my life that make me happy are not easy things. Okay, Abby, I've realized this. I had this discovery now as an adult. So there are things in life that are hard, that are good for you and you should do. And then there's things in your life that feel good, but they're bad for you and you shouldn't do and vice versa. So an example is like, and this is obvious, but like let's take heroin, right? Oh gosh. Right? Heroin.

I knew you were going to take it somewhere extreme because you always do. No, Snoop Dogg on Joe Rogan's podcast is like, hey, if it feels good... Feels good, must be good for you. It's like, no. Stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. I love Snoop Dogg. I think he's hilarious. I love his the yada, yada, yada. I like that song. But...

Him saying that I was like, I didn't Snoop Dogg give up smoking. I have no idea. I think he smokes a lot of weed. But yeah, basically, when he said that, I was like, Snoop Dogg, you've never said something that could be further from the truth because heroin feels good, but it ruins your life. Right. Right.

But then something hard like going to the gym, working out can be really hard and challenging. It doesn't feel good at times, but it is so healthy. It gets blood flow to your brain, which can help you live longer. It improves your mood. It improves your sex life. It improves your ability to think critically about that. Like it's just working out is such a good thing, but it can be hard. And on the reverse, heroin's on the other side. So I think what I've realized is you need to figure out in life

what things are challenging, what things are hard, but actually serve you, and what things that feel good, but don't serve you. Maybe you have a problem with overeating. It's like, oh, it feels good to do that. But you know what? That could make your life shorten. So you have to figure out and use your brain to understand the things that are challenging, that serve you, and the things that are actually quite the opposite of challenging, but don't serve you at all, and you need to cut out. Mm.

That's good. Is that all the insubstances that we had? I'm sure that people assume a whole lot more about us, but. Yeah, there's a lot, but. But then also I assume that most people don't really give a rip. Yeah, that's true. Hey, honestly, you could ignore literally everything we just said in this episode because all of this is just our experience. This is just our life. What works for us might not work for other people. What works for us won't work for other people.

That's right. I mean, like for some people, having seven children could be like the worst thing in the world. And for other people, it could be the best thing in the world. And sometimes people think they know what they want, but then they're completely wrong. Like for me, I didn't know that I wanted to be a dad as young as I became a dad, but I love being a dad. I thought you just said earlier in this episode that you regret getting married young. I don't know if I'd recommend it to other people, but I think it all worked out. I love you.

I love you. I love you so much. Here's the thing that I think that you're trying to say, which I don't want to assume, but getting married young ended up being right for us because we made it right for us. Like we got counseling. We did our individual growing and we ultimately made sacrifices to make

that route work for us. I know this is controversial, but I'm, I don't know. I'll just, I'll save that for another podcast. Yeah, I won't say that. I'm just trying to figure out what you were saying. It's okay. I won't say it. I'm going to keep that to myself. We need to keep some things to ourselves. So baby number three coming in 2025.

Wait, okay. So if we try for baby number three in three years, then... No, not three years. Augie's second birthday would be August of 20... Three years from now, Griffin will be four. Five. And then... So then we have a baby in 26. And it's March. So then the baby would come in like December. So Griffin would be four and Augie would be three. So you're thinking of a different time than me. I'm thinking of right when Augie turns two, getting pregnant. If we made love tonight in three years...

We currently have a zero-year-old and a one-year-old. But you're not hearing what I'm saying, Matt. I've said it like five times. What? When Augie turns two, not saying three years from now, I'm saying when Augie turns two. Is when you want to try for the baby. Ah, and I'm saying I want to do that. I'm like my math is not working out. Three years from now, getting pregnant at this time three years from now. We then put our baby being born in December of 2020.

is when I was thinking. December of 2027 is when is my projected date for baby number three. Okay. If I were to like

work my magic because that would give us three years of like yay no like well ultimately we need your magic we need my magic it is needed but it give us it would give us three years of like yay we get to like just enjoy each other and enjoy our kids and like no one's having pregnancy hormones or postpartum stuff oh because sometimes your pregnancy hormones get you absolutely we can be honest we can rewind the postpartum hit you harder than it hurt hit me you

me you could be right honestly you could be right and honestly maybe i would convince you okay no that's not my place it's your decision on if you breastfeed or not but it would be that is true breastfeeding did kind of mess up his journey it would be so much easier on me if you didn't breastfeed it would be i'll be completely transparent it's not my decision to make at all but it would be easier on me as a husband if you if we did bottles because then i could be an equal player in giving our kids bottles there wouldn't be fights around like they

the kid's not eating all this stuff like it would just be i think a lot less stressful and i honestly i would be able to i i would be down to do every single feed every single bottle feed because then i think you would be happier and then i think we'd fight less we fought so much you know i'm trying to think of if i'd be willing to do that and i cannot give you a definitive answer that's okay you don't have to it's three years from now so i love you i love you okay thank you guys for watching this episode and also if you want to support our podcast

Supporting the sponsors that we have in our podcast would be doing that. Yeah. So actually, yeah. So here's the thing. You don't have to support our podcast if you enjoy it. It's something you listen to weekly. A way to show your gratitude would be to like subscribe and also support our sponsors, which means clicking the links in the description and commenting and things like that. I just realized, too, we're actually thinking about doing a podcast membership program.

So that would come with some really fun perks for you guys. So we'll save that for another episode. But if you'd be interested in a podcast membership, let us know. One of the perks for sure would be absolutely no ads. So you can watch our podcast or listen to our podcast completely free of ads, like not a single one. If that's something that you'd be interested in, let us know. We're thinking about doing that. Bye.