Ep 202: The People Vs. Fireball
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Today we talk about... Once it hits midnight, I start itching my butt off. Well, getting really drunk rules. But what about if the car is fucking another car? Is that chill? I mean, there's nothing like climbing onto your fucking Model T and just fucking burning a dube. Here we go. Start your engines. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Smack that. Woo!

We're going Hollywood out the gate, Blake? Yeah, we're some Hollywood boys, baby. Do you have an announcement? Did you finally book something? Hollywood out the gate. Did you get a job, Blake? We cutting the hair? You did it! Are you cutting the hair? Is that what you're saying? You played Hollywood out the gate? You got a big announcement? Guys...

Man, I wish my top of my hair was gone. Nope, not the case. I'm still sitting on my fat ass over here. If that was like a hat with a hair in it. Bummer, bummer. Hey, not to bring it back to the clippers, but if you got paid by the clippers to clip your hair, like if Sportscut and Clippers got together to shave your head.

and donate the hair to, like, the saddest child. Yes, like really sad kid. The saddest child? Yeah, I would hook a sad kid up. You'd cut your hair for a sad kid. All right, well, guess what? I sponsor you. I sponsor you. And I'm the sad kid. Okay. Hot, hot, hot, hot. And Kyle's the sad kid. I'm the sad kid. You notice how Kyle's forehead just keeps kind of going further and further back? It's increasing. Well, we're going to add your hair to...

I need a transplant, bro. Kyle's forehead is on the run. Your forehead is... I need a transplant. Kyle's forehead broke the law and is on the lame. It looks like one of those moguls that Durz is going down out there on the mountains. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Oh, yeah. We're up here, baby. I don't know if you can tell, but I kept on my bibs just to keep the theme of the pow-pow. Nice. Yeah, you look good, dude. Let me tell you guys how good I am at skiing. Okay. I'm fine. Sorry, Kyle. We're off your hair. Yeah, but I'm still doing it. I'm looking at myself, and it looks good, doesn't it?

Kyle, that does not look good. Kyle, you're a snowboarder, right? Yeah, I snowboarded. I haven't gone in a while, but that's my primary tool out there on the slopes, bro. What stops you from

continuing to snowboard you don't like it or you're scared your knees the cold you cold no i mean i took a couple big falls on a snowboard growing up and i think that i would it would i think i would fucking wreck myself if i went back i feel like tailbone style wrist style face style yeah like wrist busted my wrist yeah i did a big snapper when i was a kid oh and for you that's major yeah

You need the wrist. He needs his wrist. I need my wrist. You know why? I need my wrist, dude. You know. This guy needs those wrists to be cranking. Yeah. The doctor asked your mom to leave the room. I was like, can I talk to him for a second? I'm broke. I need both wrists. Yeah. I need both wrists. I'm going to need to talk man to man real quick. Yeah. Hold on a second. Look. Doc, I got to have my wrist. Doc, what did you do? I need my wrist. Yeah.

I've never been skiing, though, which is kind of wild. I've been snowboarding like hundreds of times. I've never been skiing. Not one. That's a lie. Hundreds of hundreds of hundreds is a lot. Hundreds of times. That's a lot. You're saying 200 times. That's that's upwards of 20 times a year. Your entire 200 times. Yeah. Yeah. Really? You've gone snowboarding 200 times. Yeah. Kyle, you can't come back on the podcast and then just lie and to try to fit in and be cool.

Yeah. I'm not lying. No, I mean, I got a cabin. I spent like all my, like from 10 years old all the way to like 18 snowboarding just in the meadow outside of it. Okay. Okay. I'm glad you gave us the years. So we're crunching numbers. Now we have eight years to work

Okay. Hundreds means over 200. Hundreds. Say 200. I was kind of thinking over 100, just to be real, but I think 150 is actually logical. Okay. So you can crunch the numbers on 150 if you want to. Hang on. Ready? When you go to the cabin, you go for a week at a time, right? And you go maybe twice a year, maybe. Mm-hmm.

No, no, no, no, no. We were going up there like two weekends a month for every winter. So two weekends a month. 150 divided by eight. We're going 18 times a year. Yeah. Whoa. And so now are you considering each day? Wait, what's that math? Because I'm talking about just the winter months. Yeah. Does that involve just the winter months or no?

Right. Honestly, I'm literally just trying to help you out right now. I know. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm not lying. This is year round at any time. I'm just saying. I'm not lying. Well, you are. You are. And that's OK. And that's fine. I'm not. I'm not. I think I know you think you I know. I know you think you're you went hundreds of times, but just because you've gone down the hill.

Just because you've gone down the hill hundreds of times, that's not you're going snowboarding hundreds of times. And the fact that you snowboarded in your meadow...

That's what you said in the meadow. That's not... That was one of the places, and then we would go up to that bridge. I don't know if that really counts. Get him, Adam. I don't know if that really counts as snowboarding. Get Adam, dude. You know... Let me fill you in, Kyle. He doesn't know why Adam's offended. Dude, sorry. Adam's offended because he's someone who actually... Yeah, there's nothing to take here, bro. Your head's getting bigger by the second. There ain't nothing to take here, dog. Chill, bro. Adam's starting to think that you...

are trying to pretend like you went snowboarding more so you aren't part of his society of people who've never gone. And guess what? He's offended. Oh, right. He's offended. Have you never been snowboarding, Adam? I can't stand sideways.

Right. Oh, right. You've never stood next to this dude? You refuse. You refuse, right? I have seen you on a surfboard, but that was a long time ago, I think. Yeah, and it was one time, and if you noticed, it didn't go great. I wasn't a goddamn natural out there. Wait, wasn't it on the tour? Yeah. Yeah, and also that didn't go great either. Yeah. I needed hip surgery immediately following that, and I got it. You had emergency hip surgery on. It got worse.

from that. Right. It did. It was bad. That made it way worse. I, it was embarrassing. Cause you guys all got up every, we're talking about Waco surf on the tour. Uh, this wave pushes you. It's the perfect wave. These guys, these like, they're all workaholic fans. It's they're all stoked that we're there. Like, Oh, you bros are going to get it right away. Don't worry. You guys are all athletic. And then they look at me and they're like less. So, uh,

because I was at my all-time fattest, and I'm just a fucking whale out there. Your boobs are huge. I couldn't push myself up and bring my hip around that fast, and then I did that like five times and ate shit every time, and it was very embarrassing that I never got up. You know when they cut together that little reel of us, and we're all kind of surfing, and it shows you guys all getting up, and I'm not in that video. You're in the background getting hip surgery on the beach. The camera kept like...

the fucking digital it was like like there was a ghost in it yeah i'm pixelated out in the background i'm still gonna send it no i can't i can't stand sideways so that was fun though man god that was i would i would go back to that wave any day i had the most fun on that shit was that the last time you had fun kyle dude i had the most fun on that fucking yeah you would go back and

rip that was it I think that was the last time I had a good time yeah that was a blast yeah that was a fun day that was truly a fun day god damn I think Atlantic City was one of the last times I had a that was fun too but that was on the clock you know that was yeah that's true

Yeah, you're just talking about fun. Like, when's the last time you just had a fun day? You know, like, just a fun day without anything going on. That's a great question. Well, I consider being on stage with my boys, I consider that fun. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fair. But I think it also is work. So it's hard to work in fun inherently. Isn't that the best kind of fun? That to me is the best kind of fun. Fun that you get paid for. Oh, I don't know. Hey, you do what you like. You don't work a day in your life. Okay. You know what I mean? That's what they say. Absolutely. Yeah. So I get that. Speaking of fun, I had a blast Monday on... Was it? No. It was very recent. Well, it was... Sorry. Sorry.

Well, I did have a fun night Monday. Monday, I went to Shane Gillis' after party of his tire show that he's doing for Netflix, which I didn't see because I wasn't at the premiere. But I went to the after party and just had a throwdown. It was really fun. Nice. Met all the Bud Light people. They're great people. Hey. Here we go. By the end of the night, I had them under my arms like this, chanting Bud Light, Bud Light. That seems to be your go-to. You just put people in headlocks. Do you think people like it?

No, they don't. At this point, I think they all did because we were all pretty sauced up. Can you imagine working for Bud Light? Yeah, you get drunk all the time. It's a great gig. That's your job, right? It'd be a dream. How long can you do that? How long can you last before you're just a mess? Well, they were about our age. It was the vice president who was about our age and then the head of entertainment for all of Bud Light. Bud Light Entertainment? Bud Light Entertainment?

Are they going to start making movies? No. So like any concert they do that Bud Light promotes, this woman is the head of all of entertainment for Anheuser-Busch. Oh, man. I like the idea that they got a streaming service. And they were throw down party animals. I had a great time with them. But on Wednesday, I went to the Avalon because Netflix is a joke festival just happened. Yeah. Or is currently happening, I think. And we went to the Avalon.

Avalon. Oh, see? Here we go. We can't stay away. Yeah, we went to the Avalon, which is our management company, Go Isaac. Yeah. Getting radical. They had like a little mixer. Yeah. And so I went, I had one drink with Blake, saw some old managers, saw David Martin, the head of Avalon.

Isaac, a bunch of people. Great guy. And then dipped. But then I guess Blake went on and had a fantastic night. I think, was that the last time that you had a great time, Blake? I mean, every day of my life is a great time. I feel like Blake has more fun than all of us. I have so much fun. What happened that night?

What happened that night, Blake? Because I heard a story. I did hear a story. What was the story you heard? Who'd you hear it from? Yeah, who's giving you this? I heard a rumor that you were kicked out of the comedy store, which I find hard. Was I? Wait, what? Oh, my God. Well, I find hard to believe because I've been blackout drunk. I feel like everybody gets pretty drunk at the comedy store. I bet Blake, I know what he was doing. And it's very hard to...

to get kicked out of the comedy store. Who told you I got kicked out of the comedy store? I've heard it from multiple sources now. Really? Yeah. I know what you were doing. You probably just had your hands on a joint and you were trying to smoke it all over inside. I know it, dude. Maybe. Dang. I feel like he might have had one hand down his pants. Just like getting too comfortable. Were you trying to finger your butthole? Because I know that's a go-to. Yeah.

Well, that just happens. Once the bewitching hour, once it hits midnight, I start itching my butt off. So what happened that night? Because I left you. You were on go mode, which I always appreciate. I like when Blake is go mode. Is this Wednesday? Yeah. This is a classic Wednesday throwdown.

It was a classic Wednesday. It's a classic party day. But it's a festival. There's things happening. Hub day. I know. Yeah, sure, sure. The comics are out. It was a fun thing. And there was only a couple comics at the Avalon thing. It was mostly just executives. It was us and Sam Jay was there. Sam Jay. Very funny. Love Sam Jay. Hot off the roast of Tom Brady. That's right. She crushed that shit, by the way. I only watched an hour. What'd she call him?

What'd she call him? What'd she say? Like gay. Probably everyone's just kind of calling him gay. Yeah, I think there's a lot of those kind of jokes. I wish. But what happened after I left? Because you were trying to take shots. Right, fireballs. And we weren't taking shots because Isaac and I weren't taking shots because we were going to drive down to Orange County. But then what happened?

I just, yeah, that's exactly what's happened. Then Sam J was there and I was like buying rounds for people. And then we ended up walking over to the comedy store, but it got a little blurry after that. Did you have to buy rounds at the Avalon party? Well, cause the, it ended at like seven. So it was like, that's just when we were revving. Oh, so you stuck around. So how long did you, how long did you last there? I was only there till like eight 30, I'd say. So for an extra hour and a half, cause you weren't really drunk when I saw you.

Yeah, I was just having a good time. Okay. Was Switch occurred? What happened? Because I've heard it's a funny story. Let us get to the bottom of it. Isaac told me it was a funny story, and then from another source, I heard that. Honestly, it doesn't get much funnier. I walked to the comedy store, but honestly, I was home by 10 o'clock. I don't remember being kicked out. So you were...

my god it just got crazy it just got crazier it did it just got nuts like so you're out and you're home in bed at 10 blake you don't realize you got home the next night at 10 o'clock wait no it's the same day you were home you were home at 10 it was a wham bam are you sure yeah it was a wham bam thank you ma'am do you remember going to your house do you remember being there do you remember being there at 10 at 10 p.m stop it kyle

I remember that part pretty well. Don't do this to him. Yeah. Okay. So then you don't remember whatever this story is? Fill in my blanks because if you have more details, I have to know these. I got kicked out of the comedy store. So apparently, Blake, you were put in an Uber before you could get kicked out. The bouncer saw trouble coming and did not allow you in. Okay. Well, that's different. That makes sense. I just got that text. I just got that text. Okay.

Oh, clarity. We're getting some clarity. Okay, so they saw... Because I have such a badass reputation. This is trouble. You got to turn around, buddy. You're an improv guy. Wow. Well, that's... I mean, yeah, you're an improv guy. That is wild, though. I did not see that coming for you that night. And I also...

heard it was a funny story. This isn't that funny of a story. This is just like, also what's up with the comedy store? Let my guy in there. Yeah. Come on. No, dude, that's almost rude. Maybe I have a swerve. Also, dude, people used to do heroin in the hallways there. Like I promise. I'm pretty sure I wasn't on heroin.

If anything, Isaac roofied me and I'm sticking to that. I've seen cocaine all over that place back in the day. I wasn't doing that neither. Yeah, that feels so whack. Just be like, oh, here comes trouble. No way. That feels so like, what? Who's this bouncer? I must have been really swerving. Hey, actually, I think I might have a theory. All right. What do you got?

Do you think this bouncer knew Adam's boy from the Clippers game? Oh, shit. It's a bouncer circle and he listened to T.I.I.? Adam, the dude who bounced Adam from the Clippers game at least tried to before Adam strong-armed him. Yeah, that might be. And by the way, what's fucked up about this is there's not real bouncers at the comedy store. There's not real bouncers. Right. It's just tall stand-ups who haven't made it yet. Right.

It was Eric Griffin. Dude, I was a door guy at the improv. You don't even need to be tall. Right. Like Tony Hinchcliffe used to be the door guy at the...

a comedy store like they're they're small people are the door guys there but that's even scarier if you see a dude like tony hinchcliffe who's pretty thin and he's working the door oh yeah he's very slight slight man you think he knows like the five point touch of death or whatever right the bruce lee thing or whatever that is yeah yeah i didn't i never got that vibe from him i i

What I'm saying is if you see anybody, him or anybody who's that thin working the door, and you're like, well, why aren't they 6'4", 260? What's going on here? Yeah, they must have something special. They're packing heat. Well, when you would see me working the door at the improv back in 2004. Do you?

Yeah. Did you go, oh, this guy, this guy must know the five finger point of death? Or were you like... I was intimidated. I feel like if I didn't know you, I would have been like, look at this little Iowa looking corn husker motherfucker who... Absolutely. Who wants nothing more than to wrestle people. An excuse. Give me a hell yeah! Yeah, you're like, he's just going to wrap around my leg and might like twist my knee up a little bit, which would be annoying. Yeah, I'm checking the ears for like cauliflower. That's true. Yeah.

She's got the broccoli hair and the cauliflower ears. I'm not fucking. Damn. A little vegetable head. Produce section. Well, dang, dude. I thought it was a way funnier story. Dang, I wish I recalled something. I thought you had a bridge there because that was the end. And I figured something fun must have happened in the meantime. Who's your source? I have a comedian at the comedy store who shall remain nameless because I don't know if they...

It's a girl. If she wants to be outed, outing Blake. And then... Sam Jay? And then Isaac.

Oh, Isaac. Yes, of course. Isaac. Isaac's loose lips sink ships. So you went from what time did the Avalon thing start? Five o'clock, I think. And so by 10 o'clock, you were blackout. I was getting well there, I think. My man. It sounds like you got into a car right in time. Hit the ground running. Yeah, yeah. Right in the nick of time. And what are we? That's from shots. That's shots. What are we doing?

Yeah, we did fireball, right? I was trying to get Isaac and Adam, but then my boys left me. Did you do 50 shots of fireball? I left. I was like, I have to drive to Orange County. I'm not going to take shots with you. And then I left when it was time to leave. It was seven. It went to seven. And I go, OK, see you.

That was it. Hey, did you guys hear this news? I mean, this isn't even news. I think this is old now, but Fireball's getting sued because their little bottles aren't actually... They don't have alcohol in them or something like that. What the hell? Wait, what? Can our producers, like, Google that? Yeah, find out. Because I definitely...

blacked out drinking those little bottles i thought allegedly that's kind of wild why would a so like a company just omitted the alcohol from the mixture of the little bottles allegedly i'm drunk now i don't think it was alcohol i think it was like a different type of alcohol that wasn't fireball here we go yeah it says something january 2023 yeah sure here we go

Kyle's ready to read. It's a whole paragraph. Is there like a shorter version? Yeah, this is too much. Yeah, just tell us what happened here. We're not reading this whole... I mean... Misrepresentation, fraud. Yeah. Okay, here we go. They contain no distilled spirits, but instead a blend of malt beverage, wine, and other flavors and colors. So it was... That's like buzz balls. It's just not hard alcohol. Yeah. Oh, so it wasn't the whiskey drink. It was...

Right. Yeah. It was like not the drink. It's not whiskey. Oh, so they're, oh, cause they're fireball cinnamon whiskey, but then they're like, there ain't no whiskey in the fucking fireball. It's missing whiskey. Oh yeah. That's fraudulent. That is fraudulent straight up. You gotta get sued. Can you imagine missing out on that? But this is just in the little ones, not in the big one. Just the little bottles, I think. Okay. I don't think that matters. But dude, can you imagine? Oh,

What a good find. What a great lawsuit. Yeah, you're like, yes! How much fun would we have if I made five million bucks suing Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey? The party would be great.

Gotcha, bitch. Dude, we would show up to court looking so cool. I'll slick back our hair like we got them. We figured you out. We know what whiskey tastes like. Hey, Fireball, you're going down. Oh, good morning, liars. That would be the exact lawsuit that I feel like we could get behind. You know what I mean? Yeah. And show up to court.

That's a good movie, by the way. The People vs. Fireball. That's a good movie. That's it. The People vs. Fireball. That's the movie. By the rights. Isaac, go get it. Somebody had to have the taste. Be like, hold up. Somebody write about this. And then somebody's like, this ain't whiskey. A little fireball sommelier who's like, no, no, no. Let me get the little bottle one more time. Give me the little bottle. Something's a little something.

Something's a little off. And then there's like the nerd of the group who decides to read the label and it's like, well, actually, if you look closely. Look at this. It's a blend of malt beverages, wine, and other flavors. I'm on Amazon right now. I'm getting a testing kit. We're going to take these motherfuckers to court. It's like the little brother. It's somebody's little brother who gets to hang out with them for the night and is like, interestingly enough, and they're like, shut up. He's like, I was trying to tell you. Whoa, this guy's actually smart. We'll keep him around. Oh my God.

Dang, we got to get in on that. Dude, that's a movie. He's got a nickname like Uni because he went to like university and no one else did. Yeah. Uni over here. Yeah.

Yeah. All right, Uni. Okay, Uni. Uni over here thinks he can crack the case of the fireball. Okay. I'm drunk now. God damn. I'm kind of getting back in on fireball. I like it. It's good. It's tasty. You got out? When did you get out? I mean, I was just kind of walking the Jaeger path, but I'm really liking fireball. Dude. That's a great... Can we isolate that? I was kind of...

Just walking the Jaeger path. Walking the Jaeger path. ISO. I need that on ISO for the board. You know when a man walks the Jaeger path of life? Jaeger path. Yeah. Woof. The Jaeger path of life. Kind of. So are you switching over to Fireball? Is that what you're doing? I'm kind of in on the Fireball lately. Yeah, so you don't... I feel like a lot of people...

I feel like a lot of people, as they get into their 40s, they start to segue out of the liquor of their youth and then become like, I'm into scotch now. I can afford nicer liquors, or I like really good tequila. And you've gone...

The opposite. Yeah, I've gone Buzz Balls, Jagermeister, and Fireball. Wow. You've doubled down on the really, really shitty bad stuff. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. That being said, I do like Jagermeister and Fireball. Now, Buzz Balls, they're fucking garbage, but

Okay, come on. But buzz balls are the same, right? They're malt beverage, just like the little mini fireballs. They're gross. So do you like the little mini fireballs? Interesting lawsuit. I haven't had one of those in a while, but.

I'm going to go get one soon just so I could sue them. I feel like the little mini fireballs, I don't taste the difference, but the only time I'm ever drinking those, like I'm already drunk. You know what I mean? You're like at a tailgate or something and someone hands you a little mini one and you're like, oh, no. Hey, not to bring it back to Mammoth Mountain, but yeah, that's a good little thing to have in your pocket on the mountain. It keeps you warm, gives you a little tingle in your tummy. I like that. Yeah.

Gives you a little tingle in your tummy, huh?

Have

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guess what mango what's that will so iheart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast part-time genius i know that's why i spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion it's about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years and it's called earthquake house mango i'm gonna cut you off right there why don't we just tell people about our show instead yeah that's a better idea so every week on part-time genius we feed our curiosity by answering the world's most important questions

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Was Southern Comfort like a big, like, first booze type situation for you guys? SoCo. SoCo, dude. It wasn't our friend group. Oh, yeah. Southern Comfort was terrible. And then what happened? What happened? What did we do? Why did we turn our backs on SoCo? Wait, what is SoCo again? I can't even. Oh.

I can't remember what SoCo is. It's like an almost whiskey. It's terrible. It's terrible. What was the mixer? SoCo and what? Was there something? Coke. Dr. Pepper. It's terrible. Blake, your whole life is wrapped around. No, no, no, no. It has a flavor because I think it was one of the first beverages I ever got like really drunk on. So like I still to this day, I'm pretty scarred by that.

Yeah. I got to look at the label. Well, for me, it wasn't, well, getting really drunk rules, Blake, and you do it often. You did it just the other night. Yeah, you did it the other night so much so that. You mean vomiting? Yeah, yes. Getting sick. You have a reputation around Hollywood to where people are like, he can't come in. Turning it, he's got trouble. Yeah.

Yeah. Just saw your boy. You couldn't get into the Coke den known as the comedy store. The heroin party during freaking Netflix is a joke fest when heroin is rampant. Jesus. On a Wednesday at 9 p.m. Bobby Lee stopped me at the door and said, no way.

Oh, here comes trouble. Just in his underwear and said, hey, man, that kind of stuff's not allowed in here. And then turned around with a Grundy and waddled it to the store with like with like a carrot up his ass. And he's like, no, like, no, no, no. Too far. You're too far. You're out of here, bud. I already called the Uber.

That's 2,000 and late. So should we get into your problem? Yeah, do you want to? I don't really want to today, but maybe. Some of us have put it down. You know what I mean? I'm here for you, brother. Nah, no, it's fun. And what'd you pick up? What'd you pick up? You're addicted to the pickle, baby. Well, yeah, yeah. You find healthier addictions. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah.

You're hooked. You're hooked. Well, and what Kyle did was you just segued hard into weed. I did. You became a much bigger stoner after putting the booze down. It's Cali sober, right? That's the Cali sober? Is that right? I did. But even, yeah, I did go deeper into marijuana. Yeah. Yeah, because that's all I had. Smoke weed every day. How deep were you and how deep...

Are you now? I probably smoke about a fucking like, I don't know. I probably smoke like four joints a day, something like that. Four or five joints a day. Okay. For real? Yeah. Yeah. That's that.

That is a lot. It's like a constant high. Yeah. So let me just ask you this straight up. Are you always high? No, it's like waves. It's like I'll get higher and less high. You know what I mean? I'm still going to send it. So I guess yes, I am always high. You just said yes. Yeah, I think I said yes. Wait, Kyle, are you waking back? And is this just because your parents made you go to church? Dude, it's not a big deal.

No, no. I like marijuana, dude. Are you wake and bake now? Pizza, pizza. Yeah. Yeah. I've been wake and bake for years, bro. Like decades even. Take the edge off. For sure. At least a decade, I think. But sometimes I don't. So you're playing pickleball high? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Does your competition know? How are you not just smoking beer?

During the game. That's performance enhancing. You... I do feel for something like that, it does get you locked in. Like, I do like to smoke a little bit and then go to the gym. Yeah.

Which, by the way, I go to the gym down the street now here in Newport, and people will want to talk to people. But if I'm too stoned, I'm not trying to engage, right? Yeah. I'm a dude. I like to work out in my garage high. I've done it while going to the gym. I'm like, this is too much. Meanwhile, they're just like, can I use that? And I'm like, get her.

Right. I don't know. Take it, take it, take it, take it. You can have it here, here. Have all the weight. Yeah. I don't know. I might need it, but you can have it. Kyle, welcome back. Yeah, man. Yeah, we're loving that. We're loving that. Well, yeah, smoke. I don't smoke like in the morning. If I'm directing, though, I don't. I don't smoke and go to set. That's the difference. Of course. Yeah, no, of course. Oh, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I mean, I have, but I just haven't. Yeah, me neither, me neither. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, me neither.

Of course. For sure. I used to do it all. I used to do it a lot. Like I made murder mystery very high. Okay. And season two of shadows, very high. Two episodes of shadows? No, season two. Season two. Season two. It's actually a really good season. Yeah. That one's cracking. I don't mind it. I like it. I like smoking. Well, for me, Kyle, I feel like what I get really high, I, cause I smoke, I probably smoked the second amount of most amount of weed of, of our little crew. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, we always smoke together when we see each other. Yeah. I can't say the same thing about Durs. Can't say the same thing about Blazer. I like smoking weed. You don't know what me and Durs do together. We do some weird shit. Yeah, suck each other off. I smoke his dick. But Blake always tells me to smoke weed inside.

You gotta smoke weed inside. Let me smoke your pole. What the? For me, when I'm working, I feel like things just don't come as quick. That's my issue with smoking weed when I have anything really to do. For me, I can lock in on something. If I'm reading something, I'll smoke and then I can just plow through. If it's reading just to read. Plow through an intersection. Yeah.

By the way, love to get locked in on my driving while super, super high. I love driving. Adam's the type of guy who's so high he's just looking at the speedometer and forgets to look at the street. You missed your turn. You missed your turn. Keep it right here at 75. I was not stoned, but I got my car up to 138 miles an hour today. Where? Say it!

Just pulling up to the house. Adam, where? Yeah, where? On the freeway right by my house. I was the first one on it, and it was completely open. And there's cops that hide on the two sides, and I creeped up. No cops, and I fucking hit the turbo button. Fee, fee, fee!

Wow. Wait, so there is a turbo? There is a turbo in your car? Or you're just saying you put it in the sport mode? No, there's a button. There's a little turbo button. What the hell? You have a Nod's in your car? I thought you didn't have a turbo. I'm so confused. It's GTS. I don't know. It's not called turbo, but it's a little button that you push. What is it called? I can go outside and look if you want me to. Next time, Mom. This is important. I think someone...

Becca can... She can Google that for us. That's honestly... Dude, 138 miles per hour is incredibly fast. That's really fast. Incredibly fast. It actually got...

And it got a little scary at about the 130 mark. Yeah. What's the top speed of your car? Can it go much faster? I don't know. Not much faster than that. Yeah, that feels like you're almost all the way up. It probably is. It's probably up in the 170s. Yeah. Wow. Maybe 180s. Was it still pretty stable? Oh, yeah. It was handling pretty great. I had my windows down, which made it a little weirder. So it was like...

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bo's like, roll the windows up. Yeah, I was just holding Bo in my arms. He thought he was on the Snowpiercer train. I can't do that in the Jeep because Jeeps notoriously get what they call the Jeep death wobble. Have you ever heard of that? You don't even need to finish the sentence. You can say, I can't do that in the Jeep. And we go, yeah, you can't. Please don't.

They get the death wobbles. We gotta chill with that, though. Hopefully Jeep sponsors that soon. I remember getting my dad's minivan up to the green one that I drove out to LA. Getting that up over 100 and I thought it was gonna just shoot into two pieces. Just split down the middle. And you drive and you see the other piece driving next to you.

Dude, I don't know. Something about getting that, going that fast, it just ignites something within you. Dude, I went like maybe 128 in the Challenger when I first got it, and I never went that fast again. That's all I needed to do. That was it. I remember I was like two-lane highway style out in the desert, too, and it was very bumpy and scary. Well, I will say this freeway is a nice, it's nicely paved.

There's not shit all over it. He's in Orange County. And you can kind of go... Yes, it's in Orange County. It's a nice... And also, there's no other cars around. So sometimes when you get going really fast and then there's a car in your lane, you're like, am I going to murder this family? Right, because if anybody drove past you going 138, you'd be like, this fucking psychopath. Yeah.

It's terrifying. I hate when people do that. Yeah, but when we do it, it's kind of... Yeah, that's cool. It's just what you got to do. It's really cool. So, Durz, you do like some adrenaline because you like going fast. But you know what's funny? It's like, yeah, I've got... I don't know if I've gotten up to 140, but I think I've gotten over 100. I don't know if I've even gotten to 130, but like... Well, 100 is a... Yeah, you got to do that. Yeah. Yeah! I mean, I feel like in your car and...

And my AMG, like, a hundred, you don't even know because it's built for it. Yeah, baby. Vroom, vroom. You just look down and you're like, oh, fuck. I do want to ride in that wagon. Yeah, I've definitely been on road trips or driving somewhere far and been like, oops.

Because, again, I like to just say this. It's just built for it. Yeah, it is. You have to say that. The AMG Wagon is? That's built for speed? It's built for speed. Dude, I got a ride in that thing. It's got a top speed of like 190 or 187 or something. My goodness. On an undercover cop. I got to check. The thing's pretty good.

is pretty. I want to get pulled over and then say something cool, like get pulled over and be like... He's got sunglasses on. Yeah, and then tilt the sunglasses down and be like, you can't drive this car slow or something. We'll punch it up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah! Sorry, officer. That was a good drop. That's good too, Blake. Sorry, officer.

Sorry, officer. Sorry, officer. Put the glasses down? Yeah. Sorry, officer. You put the glasses down and go, whoops, was I speeding? Or you go like, if you think that was fast, you should have seen me yesterday. Yeah! Yeah! That's pretty cool. Could you tell my eyes were closed? Yeah! Yeah!

You want to know what I got coming back to the house? Ooh, a new garage door clicker. What? Nope. Two 1915 Model Ts. They are being shipped from Toronto. Whoa. You're a monster. You're so bad with money. So you really are smoking four joints a day, huh? Yeah.

That's what four joints will get you. So bad with money. Well, I only wanted one, but there were, there was two. And so I got one. One of them's a donor car. Okay. Because it's hard to get parts. So, so I got the donor car. Let me put it in the terms that the guy who sold it to you would think of it.

uh i've i figured out how to give this guy two cars so i don't have them anymore yeah goodbye it's very true because i got them from uh from disney i bought them off of shadows whoa they were used in the show and used in the finale so like i was like i'll take them so you do have because you also have the volvo that we use from workaholics uh the vo though um

And do you still have that El Camino? Yep. I got the El Camino, too. Okay. So you do have a real graveyard of kind of old, shitty cars. Right. Well, they're not all... Yeah, I mean, old and trying not to be shitty, if I'm being real. They're all at the shop right now. Hanging on by a thread. Yeah. Do you have any of them hooked up to, like, trickle chargers or anything? Yeah, you kind of have to. Mm.

It's science. Yeah, well, I mean, I have the fast charging thing that I can just jump it and I've replaced the batteries in the Volvo probably fucking like... Just get one trickle charger and leave it and you're good. Well, yeah, I mean, the thing with the Volvo is that thing, I left it out in the backyard and it got rusty so I have to do a lot of body work on it right now. So that's in the shop. That's getting body work done. The El Camino's body work's almost done. We're on to the interior. And then the... So to me, why don't you...

You like a project, and I know that's what it is. Well, I'm not doing the work on these. I know, I know, but you like to take something not good and make it good. That's why we're here. Okay, I like that.

He was like, I'll film you fucking dumbasses. I do like something that shows progress, and I also like older stuff. Yeah, you like a challenge. I think vintage stuff is also cool. He's like, can I do this on four joints a day? I also think vintage stuff is super cool. I feel like what I would do would buy, just spend a little more money and buy a...

car that works, that's in great shape. A white Bronco? Well, dude, the 1915, the Model T works. I drove it. One of them? Yeah, the one that I want works. The one that's not a donor car. That works. Hey, do you know how fast you were going? 15 miles. That's what I was thinking about. Yeah! I truly think the top speed is like 28 maybe of that vehicle. How many horsepower is it?

It's fewer. It's like less than a horse. Yeah, fewer than a horse. I don't know. I bet it's probably like 10 horses. Half a horse. Yeah. This dude has seven goats. Yeah. Well, my garage here in Newport is...

is built for a Model T. That's how small it is. It's impossible to pull any other car in. When was your house built down there? What was the year that your house was built down there? 1920. Yeah, exactly. So this had been out for like five years. This vehicle had been out for five years. That's insane. Right, and they were like, we built you a brand new house right down here in Orange County, and it's got a garage for your horseless carriage. That's exactly right. Absolutely. Enjoy. Oh!

So tight. So Kyle, you've got one car that works, one car that doesn't work. Do you...

You had to buy one of them. Yeah. And did you have to pay for the shipping of both? It was a BOGO. Yeah, I had to pay for the shipping. I got a good deal on them. Okay. Hey, can you give us a numby? No, I'm not going to give a number. I'm not going to put that out there. No, I'm not going to do that. No, come on. Poop dollar! But Adam didn't ask for a number. He said, can we get a numby? I said a numby. Oh, a numby. We're going to get a little numby. A little more fun. A little more frisky. Can we get a numby? I put it in a playful term because I do want to know a number. I'll put a numby on the shippies.

But I think the numby on the shippy is about $6,000. Okay. I think that's what it costs to get two of them from Toronto. From Canada? That seems reasonable. Covered, too. Yeah, they're traveling covered. That seems like a lot. Covered, you mean like they just threw a blanket over or something? Two cars? No, all in the shipping container or something like that. I don't think it...

Does it really cost that much? I think so. It might not be that much. That's a high ball. I haven't got the full quote yet. I've been working with like fucking, you have to do so much shit to get these cars over the fucking border. Right. Maybe that's pretty fucking frustrating. Yeah.

I feel like it was just like $1,500 to get a car across the country, but I guess across that border, the border, yeah, that changes the numby. Kyle, why don't you want to give us the numby? I don't feel, because I got a great deal on them. I mean, I know that the paint job that's on these vehicles is worth like four to five times what I paid for them. You know what I mean? Okay, so you got such a good deal. You're afraid someone will hear how good of a deal you got and be like,

So what you're saying is you stole these cars from Disney. That's what you're admitting to. This is starting to make more sense. You never have.

I didn't steal nothing. No, no, no. The paper trail is there. Okay? The paper trail is there. Oh, I know the paper trail's there, but I was asking for a numby. Suddenly you won't give a numby. Now I know that some shady shit is going on. You're holding the cars hostage because they can't finish the final season of What We Do in the Shadows. They're like, what? Yeah, without them. That sounds a little familiar. Yeah.

Hey, wait, Kyle, have you checked the VIN number on these suckers? Like, do you know who's owned these before you? Yeah, maybe it's like a Canadian gangster. Was it Walt Disney? No, I don't know who owned them before me. I haven't done all the research on them, but I know the VIN number is incredibly... 69! Oh, shit. It's like six numbers. Like, VIN numbers are like 18. These are like...

Yeah. Smaller. You need another four inches. And whoever's listening, we know. VIN numbers, it's redundant. We know. We're just trying to be clear. It's like ATM machine. Why are we doing it? Why do we say it like that? PIN number. PIN number. What's up? It's crazy. That's it. But yeah, they're hard to fucking drive, dude. Yeah.

Right.

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I don't know. Do you guys drive stick shifts? No. Do you know how to drive sticks? I just learned. I learned on Godzilla. Really? Nightmare. Oh, yeah. I had to drive some old, like, 60s car, and it was like... Didn't we both learn on the side of a mountain in Peru, Durs? That was a crash course. You didn't drive that car at all?

No. Oh, wow. Okay. No, you did. And it was classic because we drove like a mile with the parking brake on. Dude. Oh, more than a mile. We drove half of the day. We drove downhill. It was like smoking. And we're like, I think the engine's on fire. Yeah. We're like, I don't know what it is. And then Adam looks down. He looks at me. He goes.

The parking brake was on. Dude, I had the parking brake on the entire time. We had to play it so cool. Fuck it. It was smoking. They're like, oh, shit. All the car guys are looking. They're like, I can't figure it out. I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, this dude's trying to kill me. This is a bad idea, Adam Devine. Dude, and I learned...

It was for the bad idea show that I did. And it was literally on the side of a cliff, this little dirt mud road on the side of this cliff. This is like a 400 feet drop. And I learned how to drive the stick shift in the parking lot at the base of the mountain. Wow. That's not where you want to learn for that.

particular stunt. Hey, but look at us. Good job. Good job. It was fun. It was fun. It was a good time. Yeah, it was a good time. Yeah. Well, these, uh, we made it. The 1915 is like driving a stick like times three. It feels like because there's so many levers and fuck. Okay. Let me imagine that real quick.

you say? Yeah, that's a lot. I know. I know. I know. And I've maybe, yeah, like times three. Frickin' see ya! Wait, so times three or divided by three? Is it because... It's multiplied by three. This is my metric. And that means what? That means that there's much more levers and knobs...

Okay. You have to adjust while you're on the fly. So it's more of like a tractor than a car? I would imagine it is more like a tractor. I've never driven a tractor, but I bet it is. So this is like the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang vehicle. It is. Where there's like tons of things you're pulling. Yeah, you have to drive like... What is that? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. We love you. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang loves you too. There's a gap in my knowledge of like...

childhood. What is this, like a play you did at school? I know the song. No, this is like a 1960s, maybe. Is it Disney? Yeah, early 60s Disney with, uh...

Dick Van Dyke. Oh, I thought it was Don Knot. The OG. Both OGs. Dude, Don Knot. I'm pretty sure Dick Van Dyke's in that shit. And he drives a crazy car. He drives a crazy car that can go underwater and it can fly. Oh, yeah. So what does Chitty Chitty Bang Bang mean? That's the name of the car. That's the sound the car makes? Yeah, I think they named it Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because that's the sound. It does sound fucked up. It sounds like a crazy...

But you've never heard Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? No. Oh, interesting. And you guys knew Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when I was singing Chitty Chitty? Yeah, I've never seen it. I've never seen it, but I do get the reference. I'm pissed now. It's kind of like, what was it, Herbie the Love Bug. I don't think I ever saw that either. Dude, I mean, is that our movie? We don't get to make the Workaholics movie, which fucking sucks! Yeah, but I get it.

That makes sense. Fucking sucks! Makes sense, though. Maybe we do a magical car movie. Maybe that's our movie. Kyle, how much you charging? Dude, I feel like a magical car movie hasn't been made in a while and people love magical car movies. I feel we're kind of on to something. I'm more of like a Christine guy than a Herbie the Love Bug guy. Or a scary car. I like a scary car. I mean, Christine to me is like...

A movie I watched maybe too many times as a kid. Okay. Well, maybe we do multiple... There's multiple magic cars. Is the car alive in Christine? Yes, Kyle. He buys a shitty car at like an impound.

And the dude who sold it to him, I believe it was also the South Bend Shovel Slayer from Home Alone. Oh, that guy rocks. He's like, I don't like this car. This car killed my brother. And he's like, okay, dude, just sell me the car. And then he starts putting some love and attention on the car. He fucks it. But super quickly, it becomes pristine. And his name is Christine. And it only plays old music from the time it...

like came out and then it starts possessing the dude and like becoming it's one and only and it gets jealous of like his girlfriend it's fucking crazy but that was a stephen king book yes it was book yeah and then um john carpenter movie i feel i feel like in in uh worse hands our hands uh

It would be a really bad movie. You know what I mean? It could be done really poorly. I think we're just the guys. Just the guys to do it. I feel like we could do it. Shitty, shitty bang bang. Kyle, you might need to smoke five joints a day for this one. Yeah, you might have to up your intake. I'm liking this. If you want anybody to just ruin some IP, where'd your guys? Hand it over. Let's do it. Hand it over. Where'd they go?

We'd love to. Herbie the fuck bug. Hear me out. The running joke we keep improvising is we're calling it Christina. And they're like, that's not that funny. And we're like, it's supposed to be Christine. Well, did you hear my pitch of Herbie the fuck bug? That's actually good. Yeah! Yeah!

To me, that's actually good. Yeah, that actually does sound too good. Yeah. I would watch that. Yeah. We could do like a Boogie Nights ripoff called Herbie the Fuckbug. And it has this, it has a huge exhaust pipe. You know what I'm saying? Oh, damn. Huge stick shift. Okay. I get it. Yeah, it works out.

So the bookie night. So this is the car that gets into porno. I like that. This is good. Yeah, man. I knew we would find it. I knew it would only take us two minutes. Yeah, this is good. Look back around. Oh, man. I knew we'd find it. This is like just a car that's chilling out there in the valley. And then like somebody sees its exhaust pipe and is like, hey, you know, you should come up to the hills. The execs are just like, this is real first thought stuff, man. Right.

Can I hear your exhaust noise? And he's like, poof. And the exhaust noise is... It's... And, like, you know how, like, water kind of shoots out of an exhaust sometimes? Yes, it sputters. Yeah. It writes itself. On juicy. It writes itself. I do love it. It's the first squirter car in Pornhub.

All we ever have to say in the meeting is it writes itself. Kyle, I hope you know you're also in the movie producer role that fucking what's his part Reynolds and you just said cut cut like everyone's busy just watching. They're like, holy shit. He's like, oh my God. Cut.

That's a great film. Yeah. And then the windshield wipers go. Oh, boy. Yeah. Cleans itself up. Adam, because of the squirt. Yeah. It writes itself. It writes itself, man. Yeah.

And then after, you know how like in a porno, like their legs can move so much after the squirt? Or in real life. Yeah, I think I know. Blake, do you know? No, I know. I for sure know. You mean after the squirt? Maybe after it does this little squirt, it like shakes. Okay, yeah. It has a little rumble in the broncs. It shakes after. No, yeah, no, I know. It writes itself.

Is Herbie fucking other cars or how we staging this? What's going on there? The whole garage is a fuckfest. Yeah, it's part of the car's universe. I feel like it's not, no one's fucking the car. No one's getting fucked by the car. That's not funny. It's how you drive it.

You got to really grind its gears just right to get it. But what about if the car is fucking another car? Is that chill? Well, maybe you get in the car and if you drive it just right, you both come at the same damn time. Oh, okay. You have to get to 140. You have to get to 140. Hey, Kyle, tell me you just smoked joint number three without telling me you smoked joint number three.

Kyle, I would love the cars to fuck each other, but that's literally what Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is about. So that's already been done. You got to re-refer. You're mistaken, Blake. You're mistaken, Blake. It's Clitty Clitty Clitty Bang Bang. That's the movie you're thinking of. That has to exist, right? Clitty Clitty Bang Bang. Nice headline. That is. Hey, and guess what, Adam? Yes, points! Thank you. Thank you. I haven't gotten points in a long

Those are yours, baby. Those are worth a lot. Thank you. Clitty, Clitty Wangberg? Are we bringing a Wang now? My dad was there. Are you guys going to go see Wang Chung? They're coming to town. Are you guys going to go see? Clitty, Clitty Wang Chungberg. No. Any take backs? Any apologies? Okay.

Got it. Take backs? Yeah. Yeah, I'll take that last thing I said back. It just was pretty much a... I guess I have to apologize to the comedy store. They saw me coming, man. I'm sorry if I was flagrant. I feel terrible. They saw you coming. That is wild. Because you... It happened so quick because you were totally fine when I saw you. Zero to 50. To get to the point that you were not allowed in another bar an hour and a half later. The freaking...

Comedy store. What the heck? The comedy store. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, there's gun holes. There's like bullet holes all over that place. I'm trouble coming up the road. And that's why Adam's not allowed back. Yeah. Always taking that place up. Whoopsies. Yes, points. I do like the idea that. No. No. What? Yeah, I agree. I do like the idea that Adam is. He's a little bit like a proud father, though. Yeah.

I was with you 45 minutes before and you couldn't get in the comic store. Atta boy. Way to go. I am proud of Blake. That was zero to hero. Thank you, Adam. Great reputation around the city, man. Happy for you. Kyle, what room are we in right now? Me? I'm

I'm in my office. I just am kind of now looking at the room you're in and I'm like, where are we? What Kyle does is every few months he will rearrange his office and move things to different. He's like a, you know, when you were a child and you would rearrange your bedroom all the time. Kyle does that with his office. Yeah, I still rearrange. Kyle, you have to do an episode from the...

the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Mobile. Oh, when they pull up. Yeah, I'll pull the gear down. We'd love to see them. And so you think you're actually going to get these cars? I hope so, dude. They're being held at the border. It's a bangle. Causing me a lot of stress. I do like how the guy who sold them to you, he's like, I had to wait until we wrapped on the series so I'd never see this fucking guy again. But I told him...

$1,200 per car and $5,000 to ship it and he fucking paid me. He fucking zelled me 6K, bro. He's somewhere drinking a Molson's right now. No, no, no, no. I'm only using reputable companies. Okay, don't listen to Anders. I only use reputable companies. I'm not a...

I'm not just making deals off Zelle. Rip-a-bowl companies? What'd you use? Rip-a-bowl companies. What's it called? Hitch a wagon to it? I only use rip-a-bowl companies, bro. If I can't smoke with them, I don't work with them. I'm sorry, brother. They ain't ripping bowls. I ain't doing it. No signing. I have an off-brand apology this weekend. Okay. Wait. Okay. And it's to the people at home. It's to the people at home. He's crying. Blake, you wish. I'm really tired today. Okay. I didn't bring it.

Wow. Oh, I've just I just listened back to the pod real quick. Yeah. Piss poor. Bad. Yeah. Bad show. Listen that fast. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. We were thinking didn't bring my my normal rig here. I've got some weird. I got one of these lights.

Oh, my. Oh, you're road dog. That's fine. That's fine. Okay. You look great. Yeah, I thought your package is looking good. I look like that. Scary stories to tell in the dark. And so, you know, if you're a YouTube watcher, sorry about that. Yeah. And I also want to Adam, you use this mic, right?

I do, yeah. Is that a sure? Can you hear yourself? I fucking... No, I can't. I turn myself up constantly. Oh, it's no good, huh? I don't know what to say. Well... Yeah, I can never hear myself up. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Thank you for that, Anders. That was really honest. Yeah. Well, I would... I mean, I would like to out myself because at that same Avalon party, I...

I wasn't drunk, but I did get into a conversation with two agents and a manager. And then they're like, how was your last year? And then I just went down a diatribe of...

So diatribe is the word of the week this week? Yeah, I was going to say. I was going to say. It's gotta be. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. You gotta use it correctly. Wow, man. You really tried to buzzer beat her the word of the day? I don't think that's how you do it. What the hell? I actually like this bit because everyone at home gets to have fun with it too. They're like, yeah, he's never going to.

You lose. No, diatribe is not the word of the day. Okay? Okay. You're so full of shit because I'm looking at you clicking around to like a new website now. And by the way, the one you used the other week where you're like, no, that wasn't the word. I'm starting to doubt that you were telling the truth about that.

Well, diatribe was not the word. I swear to God. Okay. The word is a word that I still haven't used, and it was Bogart, and I was trying to squeeze that in at the very end. Well, Humphrey Bogart was in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. No, it wasn't. Yeah, we had lots of Bogart opportunities. There was lots of Bogart opportunities. So, Adam, just to get some clarity here, just to get some 100% honest clarity. Yeah. We want honesty. Where did you pull diatribe from? Diatribe was just my head.

I did not look up a diatribe. So let me get this straight. So you saying diatribe how you used it, was you trying to throw us off with a word that you were like, I'm going to throw this one off. I'm going to throw them off with this one. Wow, you dranked us. You gave us fake evidence. That was the plan. I was going to try to use a big word and then slip in Bogart because I knew I hadn't done it yet. And then at the end, you guys would be like, well, what is it?

It's either diatribe or Bogart, obviously. It is. And I think you might have used it right, actually, dude. I'm going to give you credit. I'm pissed now. And if you're watching this on YouTube...

Watch his eyes. Watch his eyes. As soon as we go, that's it. He starts looking around like crazy going like, uh, no, it isn't actually the word of this week was, um, honestly, I forgot to do it. And I said, diatribe, then you called me out and I'm like, oh, I forgot to do it. And then I looked it up and the word of the day for may 10th, 2024 is Bogart. Oh, so that was you using a big word, you using diatribe and then being like, oh shit, I need to get to my word. That is the truth. That is the truth. And I,

How many word of the day websites are we on? I only use Merriam-Webster. That's the one I use. Yeah! That is my word of the day. Sounds official. Name you could trust. Sounds real. But a diatribe, that is when you just sort of like go down a laundry list of things and you won't shut the fuck up. Right? I think that's right. I don't know what the exact...

definition of diatribe is i think diatribes are something that is long but i don't know the yeah a bitter and abusive speech or piece of writing so that's i use it exactly right because that's what i went on i was like i was like the workaholics movie got fucking can't they're asking me about my year workaholics movie i've been in pain all fucking year i had two surgeries i did uh

The bumper show, the Pitch Perfect show got fucking canceled. This year fucking sucked. And I just went on a laundry list of things. Diatribe. And I probably, yeah, diatribe. And then I probably would have taken a shot with my boy Blake, but I left in a little bit of a huff because these people, then they were going like, then they were like, no, but then you went on that tour and that looked fun. They were like trying to be like, oh, this sad sack of shit. And then I caught myself and I was like,

Oh, yeah. Not a good look. Yeah, it was just a bad look. They were like, you got to go to Atlantic City. I'm out of here. I'm out of here. I gotta go. I'm drunk now. So I'd like to apologize to those two

You know who you are, agents. And they're listening weekly, they told us. But I would like to do a shout out to Lowell's Smokes. Here we go. Oh, are Lowell's still kicking it? Lowell's, they're still kicking it. I love them. I mentioned them on a podcast a while back. They must have just heard. They reached out and they were like, let me send you a package. They sent me a ton of joints. Lowell's, they're the best, dude. Smoke weed every day.

Does Lowell's do gummies? I'm running out of my gummies, and if Lowell's makes decent gummies... Not that I know of. I think they're strictly... They're strictly smoked. Do we know? I thought a couple years ago, Lowell's was going to open up a cafe down in West Hollywood where it's coffee and smoke and weed. They did. They did for a while, and then for whatever reason, that fell through, and now it is a weed cafe, and it does exist. Oh, they have one down there? Yeah, there is one there. Oh, I'm going to go hit that up.

Where you just go to like sit around and smoke like a cigar lounge. Yeah. And you can smoke and you can. It's my favorite places, dude. They got them in Amsterdam and in fucking where was it? In like Spain they had in Barcelona. And it's just the best vibe. Yeah. I think there's a handful in L.A. now. I think there's a handful in L.A. now. I'll get to check them out, man. Yeah. That's my shit. Get in the sauna. You should just open one up north there, dude. I don't know if I want all that responsibility. Yeah. No. Keep buying weird cars. Yeah.

My sister took my parents to one that was all edibles. So it was like infused food. Oh, yeah, like a dinner. These ribs are fucking...

Smoked! And then they gave like little droplets that you put in your drinks. And my dad is just like dosing the shit out of himself and like could drive the family home. I think I spilled a couple more drops in there. They're like, you have to stop, sir. He's like, I can't feel it. And then he's on 200 milligrams of THC. Yeah, that scares me. That scares me. That's too much. I know. That's why I don't. I mean, I would like to do more edibles and...

because smoking's not good for your lungs, dude. You know what I mean? But I can't... I know exactly how much I'm supposed to smoke each time. I know how that works. The edibles, I'm not that... I'm not that dialed. Well, it's actually easier. It's easier because... Yeah, can't you just do a droplet on your tongue or whatever? No, you just...

Have a two and a half milligram gummy. And then once you start to... Is that enough? If that's not enough, you take a little bit more and a little bit more. There's like one problem with that, though. What's that? You get hungry and you love the taste of the gummy thing. Kyle, I'm going to go. You're not smoking. You're not smoking. I like smoking, too. I mean, there's nothing like climbing onto your fucking Model T and just fucking burning a dude. With a J? Yeah. Nothing like it.

it ashes into the open engine and you explode. Dude, the fucking gas tank, the gas tank is underneath the seat you sit on. Like, you sit on the seat right underneath the fucking tank. Kyle, this sucks. This sucks. We're going to look back at this episode after you perish. Damn. Oh,

Fuck it. Yeah. And be very sad. Be very sad. I hope you look back at all the ones with me after I perish. Lowell's will sponsor your funeral. Everybody gets a funeral. Don't explode. When I perish, we're looking back. All right. This is a 21 joint salute. We're going to do it for Big Kyle. All right. All right. Don't worry. We'll smoke for you, brother. Yeah.

Well, hopefully it won't perish anytime soon. All right. And it seems like this was another episode of... Hey, don't Bogart the microphone, dude. Let me talk. I'm sorry. He ruined it. Humphrey Yogarts. This is important. This is important.

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