Ep 185: Rec Room For A Dream
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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. In a world where TikTok didn't exist yet, las películas no tenían color, the comedy of a genio mexicano crossed borders y conquistó the heart of America. Sonoro y Our Hearts, my cultural podcast network present Nace una leyenda. Chespirito. No faltaban con mi hasta.

How did a Mexican writer become a symbol of global television? Listen to Nacional Leyenda, Chespirito, en la aplicación iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important...

Blake Anderson on this rooftop. And his chubby little friend oily glistening his body up with oils. I used to be notorious for Ikea boners. Star Wars Jabba the Hutt porn video, it comes up very easily. Do not look at this. Buckle up. Who's that girl? Who's that girl?

she still is the best we're not gonna give eve flowers but she's still the best never oh god i love is that eve is that she's the one with the little little uh tiger prints on her titties right yes tiger claws or paws they're like claws yeah no a tiger print is the print of a tiger like

Like the stripes, right? Oh, okay. I can see where that is confusing. Yeah. I think a print is like a footprint. That's interesting. Okay. Like a paw print. Yes, it is a paw print. Yes. Well, would you call a tiger's print or tiger stripes in a leopard's print?

Well, I thought we were talking Eve, dude. Suddenly we dive deep into the intricacies of... I was talking titty tats. But this is interesting. And I think... I mean, maybe the best titty tats in the game. I can't think of a lot of other titty tats just off the top of my head. Oh, what about Birdman? Who's the white basketball player? Well, Birdman was...

Was Chris Anderson. Chris Anderson, my uncle. Yeah. Chris Anderson. He's got some pretty good titties. There's a lot of white basketball. Well, there's a handful of white basketball players. But I'm saying specifically his titty tattoos, I'm sure. What were his? Well, he had the whole throat that said Freebird and that just went down below. And you got to wonder. Yeah. I'm sure there was just like an eagle's wings wrapped around his nipples or something. Well, Rihanna. Rihanna's got the whole Egyptian underboob thing. Oh, yeah. I'm so excited!

I feel like Eve started the titty tat movement and then Rihanna finished it. She was like, and I see your titty tats and I one up you with an under boob tat. Yeah, because that's the best. She's like, I've been everywhere, man. This is the best tattoo. Yeah. The under boob is such a that's what a prime prime real estate because when you see it, you're like, I'm not supposed to see this. Oh, for sure. Under boob tat. I'm not supposed to see that. Is there any dudes with under boob tats? I feel like that's a pretty strong move.

Let's bring dude underboob tattoo. I think you have to have an underboob. Yeah, for sure. And most dudes don't. But the underboob tattoo, it's usually like... You can see it in a bikini, right? It's not literally under a large breast that if you lift it up, it's like...

It's like a person holding their fingers through their lips like, shh, you're not supposed to see. No, that's tight. I love tattoos that play off the parts of your body. Like when people make their belly button, like a dude showing his butthole and stuff. That shit, I love. That's what you love? Yes, that is what I love. I can see that for you. I do think if there's like, someone has like an underboob tattoo that says like, lucky you, you know? If they're rocking back, like, you know, that's cool.

Lucky you. If you've tied my titties behind my neck, you're in luck, baby. By the way, if you're a woman and doing that, that is perfectly fine. But also, your priorities are fucking... You're a fun person. You're like, we're doing this.

You're cool. Yeah. Fuck it! When I transition, first thing I'm doing... Getting under boob tats? You are? You're thinking about it? No, no. When I do... Yeah, when you do. Yeah, but I'm not thinking about it right now. I have a... You've always thought about it. I have a full slate of things to do today, but when I transition, the second thing I'm going to do...

is first thing is to pull a second thing is under boob tats then breast implants absolutely dude i could see you transitioning and and then finally being like a nationally ranked swimmer oh i mean i could definitely i could definitely get back in the game if you today became a woman suddenly you could do it overnight right uh

Would tomorrow you be an elite? Because I know like you run and stuff and you like, could you be an elite athlete or no? Let's set the table here. Let's say that. Okay. If I trained for, let's say six months. Okay. So you need six months of training. Yeah. Six months of training just because I'm 42 now. It's been a while, but if I get back in there. Is it your age group? Cause I'm saying maybe it's your age. Oh no. I'm saying like elite, like, like just period. Okay.

olympics yeah oh shit okay okay yeah if i could if i could get down to like a 21 22 like i'm valuable on a team i'm not winning an ncaa and what is that like weight size or what what is it 21 22 no no sorry that's like in the 53 21 seconds like i think jesus i don't think anyone's broken 21 on the on the female side for yards

I definitely could not hang with any of these women now in the 200. They're fucking throwing down the Katie Ledecky's of the world. Is that an American? The Sandpiper aquatic team has five youngsters that are just kicking ass right now. Absolutely. Shout out to Nevada. And you can name all the children's names. Do you have them off the camp? These children, they're swimming like damn women now.

They do have like four teenagers that are like the best swimmers in the country now or close science. The talkies, man. And I know these are children. So these are grown children. So these aren't the babies that Kyle may or may not be eating since he's no, since he isn't on the pod. No, he would chew them up and spit them out.

They're not good for him. They're too old for Kyle to be eating. These are developed. I think I could, but then you get on the estrogen or whatever and then you do lose muscle mass. At one point I would just become a flabby old woman.

But I'd be myself at least. I don't know. I feel like I wouldn't. I just think it's so easy to do now. I wouldn't. It's cool. Yeah, you can really just up and decide and then flip a switch, baby. Nucky grandma! Is that what you call my dick? I feel like I wouldn't be any better. They'd be like, yeah, you're also not very athletic as a woman. But what would your sport be? Yeah.

Yeah. Cross-country skiing. Well, no, since I've had two hip surgeries this year, I would have said like hacky sack. Like, I feel like I could be pretty elite in a hacky sack setting. But now these hips, these hips, they don't lie. They do not lie. No, they never have. I think hacky sack might be one of the sports where men don't have an outstanding advantage. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, Adam, I know what you could be really good at. What's that? Sucking his dick. Blake. The ultimate slap.

The slap competition? Oh, yeah. Dude, that's all core. Oh, sure. And if I go the female route. But, dude, I don't know, dude. You've seen some of these chicks. Smack the fuck out of each other. I've said a million times, my dream body is a female. My dream is to slap women without repercussions. Slap women legally. No, my dream body is...

That's the perfect edit. That's what they're going to use to cancel me. My dream is to slap women legally. No, my dream is to have a female CrossFitters body. Sure. Yes. I mean, the ultimate pod underneath you. Yeah. What about the I feel like you'd be really good at the the

The new fighting thing you see on the Internet where like two people are just chained to a table, like one hand is on the table. Yeah. And then you just have to like fight the other person with the other hand. Yeah, I feel like I could be OK. I could take hits. I know I could just get beaten to death and still keep coming. I learned that at a young age that I could. Yeah, I could take some smacks. Yeah. It's going to be an episode of mostly about your childhood. Yeah, I know. I could just continuously get hit in the head and be a. Oh.

What is up with those new fighting competitions? I saw one where you're both in a phone booth. Then they have one where you fight in a car. Dude, you know what it is? Do you remember the movie Idiocracy and how at the end of the world and we're all just fucking total morons? You are so dumb. That's where we're at. We are 15 years away from...

literally not watering the plants and just putting Gatorade on everything. Much like the movie. Like, I don't want to sound old, but like these, the smartphones have killed us. They've killed us. You're a stupid dumbass. They've just killed us. Like the reason we watch that is because if you see like a boxing highlight, you might click on it. If you see two people fighting in a phone booth,

you're watching it. So they're just looking for the most ridiculous shit that you're going to click on and keep clicking. Oh, yeah. Well, by the way, I'm watching it. I know. You can't look away. Well, you got to at least watch a clip. It's hard not to watch. Like, remember when we would watch the...

I think it was in the workaholics writers room where they would have like the group fights like where the UFC teams would fight each other. Yes. It'd be like the firemen of New York versus like Polish bear wrestlers. And then as soon as one guy on the other team gets knocked out, that means the other team has an advantage. Yes. So by the end of the fight, it's four dudes just beating the

fucking shit out of a fireman yeah it was uh awesome it was great it was great what yeah i mean because there's strategy to it you're like do we just go two on one right off the bat after this guy i stand by that it we are at the end of the world but like okay it's very entertaining but that's the whole point is that we're we're entertained while everything else atrophies

Yeah, we've distilled everything down to just like, what do people actually want to see? Like the algorithm has figured out what people actually want to see. They don't want to see grandmas in bikinis. Yes. And people fighting in cellboards. Oh, dude. The grandmas in bikinis. Who sent that? Was that you? Yeah. Sent that. You know, send it to me. Al.

algorithm okay nice dude hey guess what yes points you got no

See, this is why Ders wouldn't sell the points because it's just silly wordplay. Well, that's kind of what At Midnight was. It was like... It's not. It's jokes. It's puns. Is it puns? Was it all puns? I think points usually goes towards cleverness because when we say funny things, we just laugh. Yeah. Points is like a sadder like... And even in the writer's room when you would say something bad that was kind of clever, you're like, points. Yeah.

I'm not funny. Yeah, I think you are. What I do is I say things that kind of rhyme. Double entendres. Your brain works faster than Adam and I. Calculators. Our dumb brains. We're just waiting for the phone booth fighting to start. That's all we're waiting for. We're like, is the phone booth fighting?

Adam's big smart plan for his future is to become a woman and enter slap competitions. But wait. Go back to AI grandmas, please. Okay, Jesus, Durrs. AI grandmas. AI grandmas. What about them? To me, it just makes me want to reach for a ZOA energy drink.

Crack open a ZOA. If I'm going to make it through the entire, what do you call it, scroll, like someone's feed? If I'm going to make it through the entire AI grandma in bikini feed, I need a ZOA energy drink. Caffeine from green coffee and green tea. I did not know that green coffee was a thing. No, what is that? Does that mean the beans are just a little raw, a little not ripe yet? Diarrhea. I don't know. I had some green coffee the other day after some Taco Bell, but...

No point. Diarrhea. Pizza, pizza. Yeah. No, but these are good. Zoa, thank you, Zoa. Witchy diarrhea. We represent. Adding to the end of the world-ish, there's two things that have come to my attention. When I'm watching fucking football on the weekends and they play these commercials where they're like, hey, did you want to take a picture of your daughter? And she's just in front of your living room. Guess what? You can put her out on a farm with a unicorn and all this shit. And I'm like,

we're actively just deleting our true existence and adding what we think is better to our surroundings and then sending that out there and then also the one where it's like was no one looking at the photo the right way well you can swipe through and like pick how you want people to look in the picture even though that moment never happened you can create new moments and i'm like

They think this is like convenience for us to be like, great, now we have a better photo. But it's the beginning of the end of reality.

Well, but it's also just about fooling people on dating apps so they actually have to meet you in person. And then once you're actually there in front of the person, they're like, oh, I'll hang out with you. And then they're like, you don't have like two cute dimples and your teeth are not like perfect and nice. You're like, you need another four inches. You are very short. That's the only thing that you add. I knew it. I knew it. That's the only thing that you add is four inches. Dude.

I don't like you guys telling me to show my tits. Yeah, everyone's like, you have one dimple. And you have a slight gap. Get the fuck out of here. What the fuck? Get out of here. No, but I think they're introducing this stuff in fun, convenient ways that make us go, hey, honey, look, I put you on a farm with a unicorn and your kids love it. But then they grow up in a world going,

Yeah, I guess I'm not good enough. And neither is our home and our surroundings and our reality. So let's, let's just create everything to be what we want it to be. And nothing's real. And reality is not good enough. And I know I'm like,

blowing this out of proportion, but it's real. It's real. That's the end of the world as we know it. You know, maybe I don't need another four inches. Maybe four inches is fine. Maybe four inches is fine. That shit's important. Yeah, I don't know. I was like, um...

I was walking through Ikea the other day because I just kind of love it there. And they were like setting up these... You know how like every section is just kind of you're looking in another room that could be your house. This could be the room of your home. Yeah. Do you ever be like, man, I wish...

I could totally jerk off in here. Yeah. I get boners. Or you're with your girl and you're like, we could fuck right now, I bet. I used to be notorious for Ikea boners. What? When I would walk in. I don't know if it was the nesting pheromones or whatever, but I would walk in and be like... Maybe it was the college. You're reminded of your college years because that's where all your furniture came from. And you're like...

Yeah, could be. Hey, good theory. Could be. I'm going to stick with the nesting pheromones. I'm trying to figure out why my boy is getting boners in Ikea. Yeah, but no, that's that's correct. It's like we've talked about this, like how like when I'm on a plane and it's a little bumpy. We've talked about this before. I got my my dick. It's rock hard or like I'm in a car and it's a little jiggly. I look over at me. My dick's going, hey, what's good?

You good? I used to get boners getting off of airplanes. Like as soon as it was like time to get up and off an airplane, I had to be like quick tuck or like, you know, just hips, hips back, a little cock back. Yeah. A little cock back. A little quick, quick adjust. Yeah, sure. And,

And that doesn't really happen anymore. When was the last boner I had? Honestly, pull it out right now. Not pull it out, but pull the memory from your bank right now. Is that what you meant? There's no morning boners for you guys anymore. No, of course. Are you kidding? Of course. Every morning is like that. And if there's not, I go on AIGrandmaBikinis.com and... The best part of waking up...

It's A.R. Grandma's Machines. It's A.R. Grandma's Machines.

Have fun.

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Also, another thing where I was like, fucking this, it's over. I bought a pair of shoes the other day, found them on like a deep discount, was never going to get these and was like, oh, 50% off. Finally going to pull the trigger, pulled the trigger.

Congrats. Thank you so much. I waited for like a year. So I was a good boy. I deserve them. Yeah, you did. Got an email today that was like, we actually don't have those in stock. So you're getting a refund and 10% off. Because I was like, this is too good to be true. And it was. And then at the bottom of the thing, it was like, this email was assisted by AI. And I'm like,

This isn't even from like a person. I feel like those like it's not in stock. I never expected them to be like a guy. Like maybe in like 1996, it's a guy. But like nowadays. No, but it was written like as a person. I figured it was just automated like.

It's not in stock. We send this thing that says, hey, Anders, so sorry for the inconvenience. Blah. And that's fine. But it says it's like, best regards, JJ. And I'm like, first of all, great name for a Muppet show. But like then right below that, it's just like this fulfillment support ticket assisted by AI. And I'm like, don't even say sincerely best regards, JJ. Just go.

you've been robo refunded then my dick gets hard why do they have to say that why do they even have to let you know that it was assisted because it's because it's ai going nana nana boo boo bitch we're taking over gotcha bitch gotcha bitch no i think it's i think it is like a law i think they they passed a law saying like you have to know when it's ai and when it isn't okay but we haven't told the listeners that we're

Yeah. Kyle was a, the Kyle, his battery ran out. Yeah. We had to return that day. The battery was going out so often during tour. Like,

Like seeing all the tour photos now, now that we're back in studio. Yeah, baby. Our spare, our spare bedroom. You think a real Kyle could break dance? We wound that motherfucker up. And then you see Kyle just sitting on like the ends of the chairs, the tops of the chairs, sitting on the floor for some reason, sitting Indian style in the chair. Producers are backstage just programming shit. Like, hey, what would Kyle do? Okay. We entered into the algorithm. He would sit cross-legged up on the,

Yeah. I got to find the pit. Funny, funny sit. Oh, he was running around. He for sure would be sweating and almost have a heart attack. He takes off one sock. Dude, lift up that skin. There's a goddamn mainframe. It's Terminator Salvation. Yeah, pick up one of them titties. You can get titties under that. There's a secret passage.

Happy birthday to Kyle, by the way. He did turn 40. He turned 4-0. He's been saying he's been 40 since he was 36. So literally, he turned 36. He's like, happy 40th. And you're like, dude, you're like three months younger than me. Right. Like, you're not 40.

And he's like, yeah, we are. And I'm like, we're not. We're 36. That's when we found out there was a glitch in the Matrix to his program. I wonder if he's pumped. I wonder what his first day of 40 is feeling like. I mean, I don't know because he's not on the podcast. He could be eating babies. We're not sure exactly what he's doing. I think he's slurping. I know what he's doing. He could be slurping, swiping AI grandma's computer.

He could be, as a liberal elite, working on a big-time Hollywood production, what we do in the shadows. It's possible he's eating babies. We don't know because he's not on the podcast. That's what he's doing in the shadows. I wish he was. So we could tell if he was eating babies or not. I hope he comes back to us. We'll see. We've got to get him back from the repair shop. Do we?

Yeah. I don't know. I feel like we're crushing it, dude. Yeah, crushing it. Maybe we add a new fourth member. Who would be the best new member of the pod if we could get anybody? No, I think we just keep it three. Mm-hmm.

Mm hmm. Yeah. Well, Trump, what we would do is we had Trump as we had Donald Trump as a fourth and he was here every week or junior, not junior. No, yeah, no. Junior's funny. Who's got jokes? No, no, dude. It's either Donald Trump or Ted Cruz. Water trash.

Oh, we only asked Ted Cruz about how fat and ugly his wife is. Fair enough. Fair enough. I wish you wouldn't say it that way. You wouldn't say it that way. And I'm like, well, would you endorse me to be the president? That's what you kind of did. You know, people say like Ted Cruz, they're like, stop being funny. I saw him like tell a joke. This is like months or maybe years ago. And people were like sending it around, like giving him a hard time. And I was like,

I think you just hate him. I thought it was kind of funny. Yeah.

If you hate him, fuck him. Yes, for sure. But if you just objectively go, it's a guy telling a joke, I was like, that was pretty funny. I'm your friend. Was it a good joke or was it within a story or he was just like, hey, y'all, knock, knock. I think it was a good joke and I thought he delivered it pretty well. I think he had a voice where he did... I don't know. He's doing voice comedy? I like it. Okay. All right, Ted. Now the haircut that he's got...

Objectively very bizarre. I like that we're Team Ted Cruz over here. Like when he shaved the side of his head and was just rocking the mullet, I was like... Oh yeah, he went Skrillex. That shit was hard, dude. I was like, what's on the menu this evening, sir? Producers, please pull that up because I do not know he did like some... The Skrillex hair? I did not know he did Skrillex hair. Bro, he went full on like whatever the alt-right cool...

dude haircut was for a minute where it's just like oh you I guess I didn't catch that what just like mullet no he's like where you like keep it kind of like long and swooped over and it was almost like arcade fire for a second yeah and then it got like appropriated

Which is my new favorite word. By like 55-year-old senators. Senators? 60-year-olds? Dude, he's not... I don't think he's 55. I think he's closer to our age than we think. No. Cruise control? Dude, imagine Ted Cruz. How old is Ted Cruz?

Dude, he's 36. No way. Stop. He's 53. He's 53. Stop. 53? Wow. He looks good. Okay, all right. 53. I think he was having like a fucking moment. Or he was in a hurry. He's so hot. Why is his wife so fat and ugly? Oh, okay. What the fuck is this?

Oh, yeah. He should have wrote a little TC in there, too. OK, by the way, I've never really liked Ted Cruz just because I was like, what a bitch. Like, I can't like if if if Trump called my wife like a fat, ugly piece of shit or whatever he said about Ted Cruz's wife.

There would be no coming back for me. I would burn my whole career down. You got to throw hands. I'd be like, fuck this guy. I would never endorse him. I'd be like, he is a piece of shit. Vote who you want to vote for. But I think he's a piece of shit. And that's how Trump wins. But now now he has this haircut. It makes me go like, well, he he does. He is kind of cool. Or do you think this haircut?

It's a total warrior's haircut. Or do you think he got it like after Trump called his wife like a fat, ugly piece of shit? And then he was like, I'll show him how cool I am. And then went out and went to the barbershop and was like, yo, give me a cool dude haircut. I have to prove that I'm hip and cool.

Oh, shit. I don't know. Maybe that looks like they were shaving his head and then the power went out in Texas. Right. Yeah. They were like, hey, dude, you got to get back from your vacation. Your entire state is frozen. He's like, oh, shit. Did I tell you about the one about the Jew, the Gentile and the Arabian that went into a bar? Not now. Not now. Not now. The people that are just listening, the sides are shaved here and then from the ear to

Down, long hair That goes down to here I'm gonna come What's the dude's name, Morgan Wallen? Isn't that his haircut? Yes, I feel like it's Morgan Wallen But he's 30, which is great I don't know how old he is Sure, yeah, he's a younger guy He's not 53 He's not 53 Siri, how old is Morgan Wallen? Will you stop talking to your AI friend? He's 30 Oh shit, convenience got me

Yeah, no, he definitely thought he was pulling up the stagecoach with this little side fade and was going to get some fucking runoff Morgan Wallen Pinoche. Pinoche. Pinoche. It's not happening for you, dude. Goon-yay. Yeah. It's either he went that way or he told him to give him some fucking Star Wars haircut because I know this bro is a Star Wars nerd, dude. Yes, he's deep into it. I think he loves Star Wars and The Simpsons. Yeah. Yeah.

Which, by the way, everyone's like, isn't that everyone? Yeah, everybody kind of likes. I mean, I don't really fuck with Star Wars. I don't either. But like, gen pop, they're into it.

Unless they want me in Star Wars. I feel like now it's going to be the thing of like... Oh, yeah. They should just shove you in R2-D2 and let you roll around. Right. Adam's like, what? Adam, I didn't see you. Make me the tin man. Easy. Where's the table I chain myself to? Wait, what kind of wars is this?

Adam, you said you're in Star Wars. I didn't see you. You're like, I'm in every episode, dude. I'm R2-D2. I'm R2-D2. They just spin me around. It's all AI. Or I just show up with a leather skirt and a chain and a...

I'm chained to a table. They're like, what are you doing? I'm like, it's fine. I'll just be right here whenever you want to shoot me. It would be cool. You know how Princess Leia became, I don't want to pronounce this wrong, Jabba the Hutt's slave girl or whatever? Cool.

Of course. We all know that. Iconic, dude. Ted Cruz makes his wife dresses that. Is he in the shows? And does he still have other... And does he just fuck women? Because isn't he an alien? So if you're a hot guy, does he stick that tail up you? You're talking about Jabba the Hutt? And I assume the tail is his...

Hog. So how Jabba the Hutt is actually fucking Princess Leia? Is that the question here? Yeah. Oh, my God. Can he Jabba my butt? And then also, does he want to fuck men? Okay. Guess what? Yes. Yes. Points.

Why are you walking so funny? Well, he jabbed my butt. Yeah, he jabbed my butt. Wait, I never actually thought of that. You think that Jabba the Hutt actually did it with Leia? Wasn't that the whole thing? Why is she half naked? Yeah, why did they strip her down? Well, you know, she was like eye candy. Yeah, but eye candy so then he could fuck. That's fucked up. Fuck that movie.

Or do you think it was like a car that he's like washing on Sundays where he's like, beautiful, isn't it? I'm not going to fuck it. It's a car. I don't know that. I don't.

I don't know that Jabba the Hutt has genitalia. Like, I never thought of him in that way. He's a biological creature. No, dude. You lift up one of those folds and there's a fucking horse cock in there. Whoa. A hot cock. So you don't think it's the tail? I don't think it's the tail. I believe he has a penis underneath his folds. It's science. You think under Jabba the Hutt's titties are...

are his dicks. I don't think it's his titties. He has a belly fold that is covering his... Can we bring up photos of Jabba the Hutt? No, just look up Jabba the Hutt like porno. I don't know if there's many folds under the belly. I think he's pretty... He's pretty lean. I think he's pretty smooth. He's not as blobby as, say, Kyle. Kyle is Jabba. Adam's R2-D2.

Star Wars Jabba the Hutt porn video comes up very easily. Do not look at this. Oh, yeah, dude. Well, what's cool about the internet is for sure there's someone that has...

As soon as the movie came out, they thought like... Yeah, we do have a representation where it is his tail for sure. Looking at this photo. Yeah, where would his dick even be? It seems like it's tail. Oh, okay. Well, that makes me feel good. I don't feel great about it, but I feel somewhat vindicated. And it does sort of look like a penis...

the very end of his tail. So yeah. Does it? Yeah. So maybe that's not even a tail. Maybe he has these little legs he's sitting on and then that's just kind of his fucking cock laying to the side. Whoa. Yeah, man. No wonder he's such a boss. Can somebody listening give Jabba the Hutt Ted Cruz's haircut please? You need another four inches. I need...

I need a millennial or a Gen Z-er who knows Photoshop to make this happen. Oh, my God. They say that the Hutts are gastropods and they reproduce asexually and do not have the correct genitalia for sexual activities in humans. But he likes looking at Leia naked. But he does lick her.

They say he made a forced order where revealing clothing, restraining her, trying to lick her body, all things that Kyle Nwacek does to women. What are we reading Kyle's IMDb? Nwacek. We do this as a job. We unpack things like this. Who is doing this?

as like their spare time. Like who's spending their time going, Ted Cruz. Okay, fair enough. You know, Teddy Cruz. Ted Cruz writes this shit. Trust me. Jabba the Cruz. What weird like back room, like deep, deep reddit.

sub blog is Ted Cruz on just creeping. You know that guy's just deep internet creeping troll status. He's a 4chan bro. He's that 4chan guy man. Dude I watched that show or that movie Dumb Money. That didn't get enough. I feel like no one talked about that movie and everybody was in it. What's that? I don't even know what that is. Dumb Money. Oh yeah. It's about the rise of the GameStop stock

And it was... Yeah. Paul Dano, Seth Rogen. He's the best. Seth Rogen was in it. Paul Dano.

Pete Davidson, Shailene Woodley. Like you're like a ton of people that you're like, oh shit. I just thought the premise alone just sounded like just, I'd rather read it as an article. Like why the fuck would I want to watch a movie about? And did you? Yeah. No. And that's how bad the premise is. I think I'd rather. Oh yeah. The article. Like what articles? Yeah.

What article is this, dude? I just read this one about Jabba the Hutt. I just read one about Jabba the Hutt. No, dude. I read that to you, okay? That was an article that I count as reading this year. Blake's like, hearing, talking is reading. Does hearing...

It's called reading aloud popcorn. Okay. Reading rainbow. What was it? Good. What is a good movie? But these are your favorite movies, Adam. Yeah, I do. Like, I do like, like by a biography type movies. Yes, sir. No, no, no. I'm talking about quick, fast money. Movies are your favorite genre. Yeah. That's my favorite genre. I like genre. Yeah.

Hi, John Ra. Good to meet you. This is my son. I don't know if that's my favorite. I don't know. I mean, I do love Blow. That is my favorite movie. But I love biographies of all sorts. Get Rich. And most biographies are like...

rising and falling yeah rising and falling yeah I do like a rising and falling I want a good biography where they're just falling um I feel like those are out there yeah falling down the wrestler love the wrestler yeah and the wrestler's great love the wrestler but that wasn't a real person that's not just an old piece of meat I think I almost cried during the trailer of the wrestler yeah that movie kicks fucking ass dude Ironclaw

I want to see it. People say it's great. I'm very excited. I know I'm going to love it. My boy, Zac Efron, our boy, Zac Efron, is in it. Do you love him? Looking the most jacked anyone has ever looked. I'm like, Jesus, this guy put on 30 pounds a month because he was kind of lean. I feel like he got outshined by the Yes Chef. He's buff, too. Everyone's talking about his body and his Calvin Klein. Yeah. Well, I think because you know

So you knew what was underneath the hood for Zach. You knew that there was some horsepower there. Oh, yeah. But yes, chef. I feel like people were like, what's underneath the hood? Come on. I knew what was underneath that hood.

Well, yeah, because you were like, that's me. Why am I not a Calvin Klein model, Blake? I know how your brain works. He did take one photo that I'm like, oh, I've taken that photo before, but it's just of him. It's just for your dude friends. Yeah, I've taken that photo of him. Hey, Blake, you're not going to get the Calvin Klein ad. You know, let's. Bullshit. I could. You're not. Maybe. You would have. Dude, what if, like, I'm a really hot 50 year old? No, no. You couldn't get. No.

Go ahead. Robert Klein. I don't know. Kevin Klein. Okie dokie. No, you're not. I mean, it's not. That one's not. You know, like we all got to go like where I'm at in my life and career where, you know, Calvin Klein probably isn't going to knock on the door. Is there an age limit? Calvin brought us. You couldn't get the Calvin brought us out.

By the way, I'm not going to get it either, but I think your body's a little more taut than mine. But I do think you can be an underwear model. Let's...

let's talk to our friends over at MeUndies. MeUndies? Sure. Okay. And see if MeUndies can do a very, very sexually explicit photo shoot with you, Blake. Okay. And we'll be there. We'll cover you in oils. We're not in the photos. Okay. We're not in the photos. Okay. It's just you. I'm there on oil duty to make sure my boy is all lathered up. This does seem like a ploy to put oil on Blake. No, it's not a ploy. It's not a

yeah this is weird i thought i was taking photos with a photographer now i've got all my boys on set spraying me with oil all he's saying is that there he needs three hours before the shoot if there is even is a shoot he's got me on a chain like java the hut listen i know that you would be uncomfortable with anyone else rubbing your body down with oils and all i'm saying is i would be there

And, by the way, this is my idea. So shouldn't I get the spoils? Yeah.

I forgot about Adam and his spoils. Adam has to have his spoils no matter what. And we're looking over your contract blank, and it says here that Adam gets the spoils. It was my idea. I set it all up. This wasn't even your dream. I made this happen for you. Should I not get my spoils? Dude, Adam and his spoils on the tour, I can't even get into it.

Overwhelming. I've never seen spoils like this in my life. Yeah, my God, man. Your boy needs some spoils.

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guess what mango what's that will so iheart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast part-time genius i know that's why i spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion it's about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years and it's called earthquake house mango mango i'm gonna cut you off right there why don't we just tell people about our show instead yeah that's a better idea so every week on part-time genius we feed our curiosity by answering the world's most important questions

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I want to drop this. I put the link in the chat, but I want to drop this specific picture. I'm not clicking that big ass link. Please click it. Please click it. That's the specific photo I'm talking about. Here's a question that I know we don't know the answer to. Why are some links all cute and perfect? And you're like, yeah, click. Easy. And then you send a link on like an email or a text to somebody. And you're like, here, click on this link. And then it's just like...

Right. Like 40 lines down. You're like, what? You can't shorten this link. And when you're the person who sends that, you're so embarrassed. Yeah, you're like, I'm an asshole. Because it's not like clean. I think they, what do they call them? Quick links? Yeah, I have to delete them immediately because I'm so ashamed. Right. Okay, by the way, it said that it's a redirect notice. You send us a link. It doesn't even work, Blake. Gotcha, bitch. I didn't...

Wait a second. It's just that guy's huge dick over the bed. Okay, the Bear star, Jeremy Allen White, smolders in shirtless Calvin Klein. Yeah, okay. But this specific picture, I feel like this is my vibe, where he's kind of like laying down. Oh, I thought you were saying where he's pulling the underwear down and you see like the top cock. No, no, no, no. No, not the top cock.

Is it the top cock or his muff? I don't want to show either of those things. No, you're seeing... You're not seeing any hairs. You're seeing a pubic mound. He's really kept it real tight. Speaking of spoils... Blake, as part of my spoils, I'm going to need you to take this photo of me. I'm going to come...

Oh, boy. Yeah, Blake, we got to go and take a lot of photos of you like this for a MeUndies campaign. Okay. Why not? Also, we're throwing it out there to whoever knows how to do Photoshop. Make just AI this shit for us. Blake Anderson, Calvin Klein, Pubic Mound. That'd be great. Pubic Mound, Ted Cruz haircut. See, and this is another...

With Jumbo the Hot Tail. Anders, this is another way that AI is taking people's jobs. Yeah, comedy too. Because there's a photographer, there's a lighting person, there's a crafty, there's me. That's true. There's no oil involved. There's me rubbing oil. Hey!

Like, there's a lot of people's jobs that you're kind of just cutting out here with the AI talk. No, I'm so sorry. You're right. I got to talk. If I talk the talk, I got to walk the walk. You got to write the spoils into the contract, man. Yeah. There's no spoils with AI. And that's one of the reasons that AI sucks. I wonder if you typed in, give me a visual representation of spoils to AI. Yeah.

It couldn't do it. It couldn't do it. It's like war games. It would fucking melt down. And what it would be, it would be like food spoiling. Yeah. And it'd be like gross. I think so. When I think of spoils, I don't think gross. You think it would be like... I don't think gross. I'm gonna come. It'd be like old food on the back of a Lamborghini, like...

like providing downward force and also revealing the end of a movie oh okay in the license plate name I believe so like like the two links you said one was a redirect and the other I clicked on it it says potential security issue detected I know come on come on homie

Come on, homie. This guy was ready to oil you down. You don't trust me? By the way, I found the photos that I want you to take, and it's a lot of you peeling your underwear off while we're on the roof of a building. Peel one off. I like that. I'm supposed to be shooting an underwear ad, but Adam has them off my body immediately. Dude, that's what

Because you're looking at it as if you're a horny girl and Blake Anderson is on a rooftop and you're seeing him just toying. He's toying with his undies up there. And we know it's been established. We know chicks. We know chicks. You need another four inches. And they're rubbing one out because they look down and they see Blake Anderson on this rooftop and his chubby little friend oily and glistening his body up with oils.

Is that what the guy's on a rooftop doing this? Yeah, he's on a rooftop. Is that okay? Is that allowed? Yeah, I think he was harnessed. It's allowed. It's Calvin Klein. Remember the joke I told in one city where I was like, there's three guys on the roof of the Sears Tower and they've all got their dicks over the edge? That was a really good one. That's a really good one. Do you think he told that joke on set? I think that was the one Ted Cruz told. Yeah.

What was that joke? What was that joke? I don't remember. It's a really good one. This is like my quintessential go-to I'm a 10-year-old joke where it's like there's three guys with the longest dicks in the world and they're standing on the roof of the Sears Tower. That's us. That's us. Sorry, let me rephrase it. Me and you dudes are on top of the Sears Tower with our dicks hanging over the edge. Now you're talking. Yeah.

Blake whips his down. It goes down to the 50th floor. Holy shit. Oh, whoa. It's like 30 stories long. That's a big old cart. That's a big old cart. That's really big. Adam steps up, unfurls his junk. It goes down to the 11th floor. Whoa.

That's a bigger cock. 49 floors bigger. You guys look back at me and then I'm running around and you're like, what the hell are you doing? Oh boy. Durs. Cause you guys say that. Yup. And, uh, I go me, I'm dodging traffic. Cause my dick is so long. It goes down to the street. Yeah, dude. That's so, so fucking. And when I was 10 years old and I told this joke, I was like,

I was grounded. I was the Ted Cruz of the playground, man. Yeah, dude. Immediately, you got cruised. Everybody loved me. You were put on cruise control. Damn. You said that at school? Hey, you were put on cruise control. Oh, yeah. I got points coming. Sorry. Sorry, dude. Sorry. Yes, points. Dude.

You said that at school. Did you get in trouble? Well, he's not saying it in front of the teacher. I didn't stand in front of the class and go, actually, it's my time. Because I remember being at school, and you remember that part in Ace Ventura where he pushes the eagle and the eagle's like, oh, yeah, blow me. I said that to my teacher because I didn't know what blow me meant. Oh, yeah. So you and Adam both sexual advances towards your...

educators. I didn't know any better. Absolutely. Yeah, it couldn't be in a classroom alone with me. And how about the first punch that Jim Carrey throws at the eagle to start the combination off? It's like a long...

comes out of nowhere but it comes out of nowhere then he leans in with the fucking follow-up yeah i always remember being like when you do it do it like that yeah he punched the fuck out of that mascot and what is this in what movie end of ace ventura uh pet detective when he's like sitting there and like a bird like the guy the mascot for the other team the eagles maybe yeah uh

He like bumps into him and says like, fuck off. That's right. Spoiler alert. He just saved Snowflake. That's right. That is correct. Almost said Starfish. Spoils. I got a rewatch. I feel like that'd be a good. I don't know. Would it be a good rewatch or would you watch it now and be like, this was comedy of a time? Or would it be like, this is a warm, cozy blanket?

And I love being underneath it. I think there's a couple variables in it that it is probably a little dated. Also, you know Jim Carrey's tricks now. I would even go so far as to say you know every fucking moment of that movie by heart, right? But I bet if I played that for my 10-year-old...

He might lose his mind. I just think the commitment level of that movie is like Oscar. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Snubbed again. I love the story of how he was telling people on In Living Color that he was writing a movie about a pet detective. And everyone was like, that is so dumb. Oh, yeah, the bitch. You are so dumb. Yeah, I mean, because you don't know, but you also don't know that he's going to go all

all the to the absolute brink of insanity yeah filming every scene yeah and leaving nothing on the table i mean the commitment level is is undeniable and it starts off with a bang the whole ups like sequences off the fucking you're laughing so hard at a dude with a fucking box walking yeah i was just like kicking it down the street

So good. Here's snowflake. What did I see? I think my buddy, Tony Cavallaro, who plays Keef on the Righteous Gemstones, just posted today about like a guy walking. He was wearing a black trench coat and he was walking like, like the Jim Carrey head on each side. And then he turns around and like does the eyebrow and like whips his head around and is walking. But then there's no mention of Jim Carrey. It's like this guy's just doing this walk. And I'm like,

There's no, he's not saying like Jim Carrey or like nothing else about this guy. It was like when you're walking out of, I forget exactly what it is, but you're walking out of a restaurant like this or something. And I love that hashtag. I was a little, I was a little bit like, yeah, I'm on that hashtag a lot. Hashtag walking out. What?

When you're walking out of a restaurant having eaten. Dude, you know what I mean? I was just like, oh. He got that red Robin walk. He changed everything. So basically a guy rips him off without any homage. Yeah, no homage to it. No homage. And the fact that he's just changed the way people walk. Yeah, I know. I walk that way. Like, I feel like people's whole personalities change. Oh!

And by the way, I just want to say, having watched the Emmys the other day with the To Be Remembered section, Mr. Shikidance, we lost him this past year. I missed that part. Who's Mr. Shikidance? Finchera. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Such a legend. Dude, I realized that my wife, we use her old Hulu account as our Hulu account now. She doesn't pay for premium Hulu, so we couldn't watch the Emmys, dude. I was so disappointed. I'm like, what do you mean? Because you guys don't get TV. You're not getting your cable through Hulu. Yeah, so you have to buy the premium Hulu in order to watch the live shit. Yeah.

And she hadn't done that. And I was so salty. I'm like, we have to have TV used to be channel. Yeah. I mean, totally. I feel like an old man. I'm like, so I can't. There's no way I can watch the Emmys right now. And she's like, you can watch it in stories tomorrow in entirety. Yeah, totally. Totally. Just follow along on Twitter. Yeah. Better that way. It's kind of crazy. It is hard to navigate these channels. Yeah.

And shout out to Mr. Shicket Ants. Who's Mr. Shicket Ants? What else was he in? He's the guy who comes up behind him and is like, Ventura. And he's like, yes, Satan? Oh, Mr. Shicket Ants. What else was he in? I want to say he was in The Godfather or something like that. I want to say he was in mob movies from back in the day. Imagine you...

We're cast in that movie. And you do not know Jim Carrey. Right. He's just a comic. You know, he's on In Living Color, but you didn't catch it. There's no. He did One Spittin'. It hasn't come out yet, I don't think. Yeah. One Spittin' was kind of a nothing movie. You're sort of just. Earth Girls are easy. Earth Girls are easy. He was in Clint Eastwood movie as the bad guy. You have no.

idea who this guy is. Right. Right. Right. And then he shows up and he's doing that.

Are you a little bit like, okay, what did I get myself into here? I mean, you for sure are. Imagine you're casting a movie now and then somebody, Jim Carrey doesn't exist, and then a young Jim Carrey is doing that. You would be like, you'd call your agent and be like, hey, I don't know. You're like, it's just a check. It would be like being cast in the Fred Ficklehorn movie or something, like one of those YouTube guys, and you're like, oh my God, what's happening here?

Yeah, you don't know. You don't know. Who's Fred Figglehorn? You don't know. And Blake just sent a link to the guy. That was Todd. The guy's name is Mark Margolis. And he was also in Breaking Bad. Yeah.

He was like the dude who had the oxygen tank who couldn't talk because he was like, I don't know. I can't remember what happened to him. But the acting through the just can't talk with the eyes, I was like, Shikidance is killing it right now. Shikidance. And we've covered how perfect the casting in Ace Ventura is. Oh, sure. Oh, this guy, yeah. He was in Scarface. Yeah.

Scarface. That's what I was thinking of. Yeah, that's right. This guy, he was also in Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad and yeah, Scarface, Rec Room for a Dream. Rec Room for a Dream. Come on in here. Have fun. Rec Room for a Dream. Have a dream. This is the room for that. Come on.

It's all about a man cave. Come on, man. Rec Room for the Dream. It's this man cave where all this dad's friends come over and all their dreams come true. They're like, dude, he got this new chair in his man cave. That's the show. That's the show. Yeah, I read Rec Room for the Dream. Really? Yep. Rec Room for the Dream. That was a really dark, disturbing, highly acclaimed movie. Was it? Yeah. Huh.

If that's what you're telling me. Yeah, I guess you took it that way. I appreciate that. I just thought it was kind of a guy's guy's movie. Really? Really.

Yeah, me and my buddies wrote it together. Rec Group for a Dream. Yeah, yeah. We just wrote it together one afternoon. Wow. This is what I love about being an actor or actors' careers. Eating baby food. Hollywood. When you watch somebody, I have high appreciation for somebody who's really good in something that might be bad or really good in something and you've never seen them before and you're like, where'd they find this guy? And then you just go back to...

20 30 years and you go oh they were the star of this movie they were like a regular actor they've had a a career for 20 years huge career and i'm an idiot yeah like i it's always good i love that shit well that's cool it's because you like just you know it you kind of your everybody has their lanes that they watch and it's like when you go out and you're at a restaurant or something people always out

And then like maybe no one recognizes you except for one person is like freaking out because they watched workaholics or whatever. Right. Right. You know, that's and I feel like a lot of actors have that same thing where they're like they were on a show that ran that a certain sector people loved. And then, you know, I always like that. Hello. But the gen pop is like, oh, yeah.

I like that until the person goes, you don't know who this is? And then I'm like, stop. It's okay. It's fine. Hello, Newman. And then they're like, what else have you been in? And you're on the spot, so you're like, Rec Room for a Dream. Rec Room for a Dream. Rec Room for a Dream. Really? That was pretty dark, pretty heavy. Highly acclaimed. I was in This Ain't Ghostbusters.

What else? I was in Ghostbusters. Who were you in Ghostbusters? No, in Ghostbusters I was... Slimer. I was Slime-her. Slime-her. I was Slime-her.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. I was Peter Yankman. Oh, yeah, baby. He gone. Too dumb. And this is my partner, Ray Stans over women's and peas. Women and peas. Oh, yeah.

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Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams or giveaways? I'd like to epic slam Kyle for having no respect for the podcast. Doesn't care about the fans. See ya. And I think...

He despises the fans, in fact. And he's not here to say that he doesn't. Yeah. You epically slammed him. I would like to apologize to our fans for Kyle's behavior. As far as we know, he's in Canada eating babies. Eating babies. We're not sure exactly. We can't say he isn't because he is not here on the pod. So sorry, guys.

I'm going to apologize once again for thinking Sinbad was dead. That's going to haunt me for the rest of his life. Yeah. No flowers to him. Never. No. Never would. And even though pretty mad at Kyle, I'm not going to give him flowers. Yeah, that's big. I wouldn't give him flowers about it. I'm not going to give him flowers about it. No, no.

I do love the guy. Wish I was sharing a ZOA energy with the guy. Although he gave up caffeine. Those are the spoils. Free ZOA. Those are some of the spoils. Spoils of the pod. I'll see you guys next week. I'm going to enjoy my spoils. Any take backs? Any spoils?

I got a spoil right here, baby. By the way, me on news, that's a good idea. I agree. And that was another episode of This is Imported. See ya. Alrighty then. Oh yeah, the bitch. Hear that? Pumpkin.

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