236: What if you had the worst roommate ever?
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This Is Actually Happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events. Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode and for more information about support services. When there's some trauma, when you have something that's so built up, you have a poison within you. If you don't discuss it, if you leave it there, it's going to ferment and take over your life and your body. You need to take this out by speaking it. From Wondery, I'm Witt Misseldein.

You are listening to This Is Actually Happening. Episode 236. What if you had the worst roommate ever?

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I consider myself Brooklyn Eakin.

Brooklyn Eakin is, I'm a first generation born in Brooklyn, New York, and my parents are Puerto Rican. My mother's from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, and my father's from Mocha, Puerto Rico. My mother went through a really hard, hard time growing up. She was one of the middle children of about nine children. My grandmother was a widow, and so my uncle brought the family over to New York.

My mother was definitely the strict one. My mother is extremely strict because she herself went through a really difficult time. My mom's first husband was diagnosed later with schizophrenia, and it was one of the reasons when my mother was pregnant with her last child, she ended up almost getting killed by her husband who tried to strangle her.

My mother ended up getting a divorce. So now my mother was a single mom with three children, my sister Gladys, who's with bipolar and mild schizophrenia, my brother Benjamin, and my sister Meryl, who's the social butterfly of the group.

And at that time, she would give weekend visitation rights to her ex-husband. And in one of those, he ended up taking the three children to Puerto Rico. But when he took the kids to Puerto Rico, he ended up kidnapping the children and keeping them.

My mother had a nervous breakdown. She ended up institutionalized and a social worker. She said, if you want your children back, you have to get your life together and we're going to really work to get your children back. After she divorced, she ended up meeting my father. They got married and then I was born. I was alone with my mother and my father for the first five years.

My mother's ex-husband had remarried and now had three children more of his own. And while he was at work and the children were with her, with the stepmother, she ended up physically abusing them. Gladys, who already has this bipolar schizophrenia and paranoia, was the one who was most traumatized and affected.

My mother ended up going to court. They actually showed my sister, Meryl. She had whiplashes on her back from when the stepmother would hit her. The stepmother would put their heads into hot soup if they weren't eating the soup. And so with this evidence, my mother ended up winning the kids back.

So at the age of five, next thing I knew, I had three siblings that came in to move into a two-bedroom apartment. But we had a great childhood because my father used to take us to the Seven Lakes, Sabago Beach. You know, it was very family-oriented. My mother's sister was close by with her three kids. We had a wonderful time growing up.

Those were really beautiful, beautiful times. I was always a happy child. I was always so happy and jumpy. My mother used to call me the kangaroo. There's the kangaroo. She can't stay still. I was always running around. And my mother used to read stories to me. And I'll never forget the Rapunzel story. You know, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair.

And when she would let down her golden hair, you know, all of a sudden it turned out that the prince came and saved her. And so I remember when my mother read me that story saying, oh, my God, who would save me if I'm ever locked up someplace? You know, who would save me?

And I remember saying, oh, yeah, you know, I want a prince to save me. But at the same time, wait a minute, I like that that prince is on that horse. And maybe I want to be the prince. I think I might want to be the prince. So I was okay with being either the prince or the princess. Sometimes I would come home from school and I would notice that mom would be crying because

She used to look at a lot of soap operas, my mother, Spanish soap operas. And when I would see her crying and I'd go up to her, what's wrong? She'd go, no, no, no, I'm just acting. I'm just acting like in the soap operas. They tried to really protect me from what was going on. But, you know, a child has these little feelings of like either something's good or something's not right. But she gave me an explanation, so I'm blowing it off.

When I became six years old, I had a fever of 106. And they discovered that I was born with three kidneys. So at six years of age, I was bleeding as if I had menses. And it was painful. They had to call a specialist from Florida who had done the surgery, I think, once before. And so I went to the hospital.

My incision goes maybe about three inches from my belly button to about three inches to the back of away from my spine. And I had to stay in the hospital for four months. And in those four months, I befriended one girl who was behind a glass room and her name was Nancy.

I'll never forget me putting my hand on the window and her putting her hand on the window. And we used to be friends, even though she has no hair. Again, I never understood why. The morning I woke up and I went to the classroom, but the bed was all made up and Nancy was not there. This man, this cleaning man, he's like, oh, she's not there anymore. She's gone. And I was like, oh, and he goes, but it's okay. I'll be your friend, he says.

I remember playing and that man said, "Oh, come here." And I came to him and he goes, "Yeah, just turn around. Look at those kids." And then he started touching me inappropriately. Then he would stop and he would let me go. And this man started waking me up in the middle of the night. At that time there were no cameras. And mind you, I was in the hospital for four months.

I remember my mother saying, if anyone touches you inappropriately, you let us know. But I also knew that my father had a bad temper. And all I remember thinking in my mind at that age was, if I tell my parents, they're going to put my father in jail because my father's going to kill that man. I don't want him to go to jail. I'm just going to stay quiet. You know, nothing ever happened.

And nothing ever happened until again I was about 10 years old and I had another family member. I won't go into details there, but again, I stood quiet. I went to junior high school. I was really smart. I really enjoyed school.

My father, they always used to tell me, you can do whatever you want because one of the things that people want to do in America is put down minorities and say that you cannot achieve. So we're going to be respectful. We're not going to be delinquents hanging out. We're going to follow the word of God in front of us. My father was the bubbly joker. I was very, very close to my father.

As my father was very positive in the cup is always full, life will always give you good things, my mother will be more like, what cup? The cup is broken. I never had a cup. And so we already knew my mother had trust issues. And then she was very jealous. And so my father, who was starting to feel the tension, I mean, he went from a two-bedroom apartment with one child, and all of a sudden now he has four children.

jealousy started taking over. My mother started getting really jealous that my father was not coming home on time. I heard a side of my mother that I had never heard before. We knew the buttons that my mother would push that would bring my father to a physical confrontation. My sister and I would cover our ears and shake and start humming so that we wouldn't hear the hitting of

The cops would take them away just so that they can cool down a little bit. And then my mother and them, they would make up and everything would be fine again. But it was constantly this roller coaster. At ninth grade, I was just graduating. My father leaves. And my mother told me, your father's having an affair and I can't take it anymore. And so I am changing the lock on the door.

And one of the things she says is, if your father comes back and calls for you to open up that door, do not open that door because he's going to kill me. So I was like, my heart, I remember feeling it as though it was pumping out of my chest. I said, okay. And sure enough, that night, my father tries to come back. He's knocking. No, no, don't open the door.

And he knocks, knocks, knocks, and he goes, Sonny. They call me Sonny. And my mother looks at me and says, shh. And so I stood quiet. I couldn't say anything, but my heart was breaking. My father left. I didn't see him anymore until one weekend when I look out the window. And there he is looking up. And I see him.

And he goes, come down. I'm going to take you out the Saturday, like the usual Saturday. And I was like, mom, mom, dad is downstairs. You know, and she says, OK, you could go. You know, you could go. He's going to bring you back. And it was back to the same routine. And I love my father. I mean, we did everything together.

And one of those times that my father took me out, I went to the bank with him, and now I was more developed.

He tells me, just take this envelope just outside of the bank, put the envelope in there. And I was like, okay. So I just went innocently to put the envelope inside that mailbox. When a man presses against me against that mailbox, he says something in Spanish, like, oh, like you're hot or something or other. He disappears. And I was like, oh my God, where did that come from? Like it brought back flashbacks of my childhood. Again, I went inside. I didn't say anything to my father.

But I noticed within myself, I can't look pretty. I cannot look pretty because these freaking predators. And so I started dressing more tomboyish. I realized, you know, if you look tough, people will leave you alone.

As a child, I used to say, oh my God, all you hear are problems in the news. And look at your parents are fighting. And now my mother was a single mother of four. I was inundated with pain, crying. What is opposite of pain? What makes you happy, Sony? Animals.

And I say that almost crying because things may go downhill, but there's nothing that gives you greater joy than animals. In high school, I was like, I just want to work with animals. That's all I wanted. And so I chose the field of animals. It was a vocational agricultural high school in New York City in Queens, New York. It was a wonderful getaway.

They had a chicken farm, they had a peach tree farm, a dairy farm, and then later a horse farm. I was like, wow, this is awesome. And I did really well. One girl, she was the smallest one, Puerto Rican. She looked tough, too. And I really developed a close relationship with Lillian because Lillian started showing me another side to love.

I ended up graduating from John Bond High School. It was the first time that I ended up having a relationship with Lillian, though I've always had boyfriends. It was the first time that I experienced a love relationship.

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This Is Actually Happening is sponsored by ADT. ADT knows a lot can happen in a second. One second, you're happily single. And the next second, you catch a glimpse of someone and you don't want to be. Maybe one second, you have a business idea that seems like a pipe dream. And the next, you have an LLC and a dream come true. And when it comes to your home, one second, you feel safe,

And the next, something goes wrong. But with ADT's 24-7 professional monitoring, you still feel safe. Because when every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today. I got my associate's degree from SUNY Morrisville in equine science, and then I transferred to Texas A&M University. I got my bachelor's degree in animal science.

I worked on a farm in Long Island. From there, transferred to the Animal Medical Center in New York City. Hunter College, the animal research, offered me double the pay, nine to five, Monday through Friday. I was ecstatic. I was like, I'm there. So I started working there. I ended up in a relationship back with Lillian for 10 years. I lived in New Jersey.

That relationship dissolved, and then I met Sandy while I was working at Hunter College. Things were going beautifully another 10 years, and then things kind of got shooken up because of 9-11. We had just done our domestic partnership that April 29th of 2001, and then here comes 9-11.

We had decided at that time, wow, life is really short. We never know what's going to happen. And I really started focusing on trying to have children. Now I'm 37. I ended up pulling out a loan so that I can try to become pregnant. But it didn't happen for me. It also didn't happen for her. So we ended up putting the baby project in the back burner.

But I'd like to really invest it in an apartment because I have to start thinking about my future for like, you know, when we retire. I want to have a stable place, maybe close to the beach.

Now, you let me know, Sandy, I told her. I can afford a one-bedroom apartment, and that's what I'm going to go for. But if you see a future with me and you think that this is still something that you want, I really want you to be honest with me because this is a lifetime commitment. I would hold no resentment if you just say, we had a wonderful time. Let's go ahead and move on. You go your way and I go mine. I would have been so fine with that.

She says, I got you, don't worry. She says, let's look into a two-bedroom because I'll be there to help you. Sony takes out another loan from her pension to do the down payment. And sure enough, we got a two-bedroom. We moved in August 1st, 2006.

December, I come home and she's crying. And I said, what's wrong? I can't do this anymore. I said, you can't do what? I can't be in this relationship anymore. My jaw dropped. I was so angry at her. I remember going and breaking pictures of us on the floor because I was so angry that she did this to me.

She goes, well, you know, I'm not going to leave you alone. I'm still going to be your roommate. I was like, what? No, you're going to get up and you're going to move out. Get out. She's like, but you can't do this by yourself. I said, just watch me. Sandy left. I was working Hunter College. I took an on-call position back at the Animal Medical Center. I was also teaching part-time at LaGuardia Community College. And I started getting roommates.

First one was Claire with her little daughter. She was great. She was with me for about a year. Then she left, and then I got Michael. Michael stood for about two years, and then he left. This is when I put that Craigslist posting, and I had two people who answered. A young couple with their 18-month-old baby, or Jamison Bachman.

The lawyer who needed to be closer to the courts because he was doing litigations, he says, he says, are you okay with animals? I'm a veterinary technician. Sure. He's like, great, great. Because I have my dog and two cats. I said, that's fine. I only have one cat and he gets along with everyone. I adopted Yodel, my cat, because he had feline asthma and I suffer from asthma.

And when he comes, I went downstairs and he's a tall, dark hair, dark eyes, typical type of lawyer. Little roundish kind of glasses that made him look more nerdier. So I come out and I see the U-Haul truck. I was like, oh, U-Haul.

He says, yeah, you know, I hope you don't mind. It's just that really, I'm really having such a hard time with my girlfriend. I'm ready to move in today. I have cash right now. And I said, well, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait. I said, to be honest with you, you know, I need references. You know, I don't know anything about you because I have, I have a reference here. Here's this number. You can call.

He says, I have cash, right? I have $1,400. I have a month's rent and a deposit. And that really called my attention because I was in a desperate situation that I need that to pay even today, this month's mortgage. I really needed that. And I said, well, let me bring him in. You know, he was so clean cut. He was really neat, very clean.

I said, but let me get that number. And I remember calling that number and I said, hi, I'm calling regarding Jamison Bachman. Yes, totally. I vouch for him. You know, he's had a little rough ends, they told me, but he's definitely always good about paying his rent. That's all I needed to hear. He came up, he saw the apartment, he goes, oh, this is perfect. I said, all right, so come on in.

He said he was a lawyer, that he's doing litigations at the court, and he tutors history for kids, that he lived in Holland. He speaks Dutch, and he spoke to his dog, Zachary, in Dutch. Zachary loved me.

He pretty much set up his computer. He had a little desk. I was like, wait, where's your bedroom set? And he goes, no, no, no, no. This is the way we sleep in Holland. You know, I'm fine with just the comforters and I sleep on the floor. It's more comfortable for my back. Again, as I told him before, I don't care what you do. Just pay the rent. The first three months with Jamison were wonderful. I remember he came the last week of February. So March, April, May was great.

Memorial Day, when the beaches and pools open, I remember telling him, you know, I go out to Reese Beach. You're more than welcome to come if you want. But I'm just going to let you know that there's the family section and then there's the gay section. And I'm always very open about my sexuality. We went to the beach. We had a wonderful time. Even though I would take pictures, he would say, don't take pictures of me. I said, no, no, I won't take pictures of you. I was very respectful.

I never had a picture of him. I realized that. And we had a wonderful time. It's important to me how a man's relationship is with women. And so I said, let me ask you, I said, how's your relationship with your family? You know, tell me about your family. And he goes, oh, well, I have a younger brother who just became a dad. And I asked him, how's your relationship with your mom? And he said, my mother. I don't want to speak about my mother.

Why? Why don't you want to speak with your mother? What's up? He goes, my father was very wealthy. And when he died, me and my brother were supposed to get money. And she gave us nothing. She took all the money and ran. I have no idea where my mother is today. I mean, in my mind, I said, that's kind of deep. He doesn't have a good relationship with a female. That's something to remember, Sony, in my mind. He's angry about a female role.

And I said, and your father? And he goes, well, my father died, but I had a great relationship with my father and my grandfather. You know, loved his grandfather. We used to sit down and have breakfast together. He used to get up like clockwork, six o'clock in the morning. He would be up already to go running at the beach with Zachary. He'd be back. He'd take a shower and he'd prepare for whatever the day was. I remember he started going on a website, OKCupid.com.

I see him coming out and he looked all dressed up, but I go, oh, look at you. And he goes, do I look okay? I'm going out on a date. I said, you look good. And he goes, does this shirt, which shirt should I wear? This one or this one? I respected that he always used to ask me for, what's your advice?

So he went on a date and then he came back and I was like, so? And he goes, oh my gosh, she was perfect. She's exactly the woman that I would always want to be with. Should I call her? I said, don't call her now. Wait at least 24 hours. And he so wanted to call her the next day. I was like, Jamison, you're going to come out as looking desperate. Don't do it. Okay, okay, I'll wait. I'll wait. You know what? I'm going to go running. I remember him saying, I'm going to go running. Okay, go ahead. Go running.

I remember he always used to wear these pants and that, you know, every once in a while he'd wear that shirt. And I remember telling him, if ever you want to get rid of that shirt, you know, think of me because I kind of like that little Oxford shirt that you're wearing. And I said, I like those pants too. Okay, cool. He just kind of took it in, you know. March, April, May, June. I noticed he's not coming out of the house the way he used to. In June, he gives me a check for, here's $200.

I was like, $200? What happened? He goes, you know, I haven't been getting enough work, but I have some things lined up. I'll have the rest of it for the ending of the month. I was like, no worries. I trusted Jamison. Now it was July. I was like, Jamison, what's going on? Would you believe, he says, I just started doing this tutoring thing and they sent the check to the wrong address. I was like, what? You've been doing this tutoring for years.

And already my woman's intuition was strike one, because I've had these experiences of people betraying me. I was like, there's that feeling again, like something within you or your hairs on your back. There's that feeling. July came and he didn't pay me. I was like, Jamison, what's going on? I know, I know. I'm still waiting for that track to come in. Here's $100.

So now between June and July, I had $300. August, the same thing, just maybe $120. I was like, Jamison, now I'm getting serious. Now I'm no longer the, hi, Jamison, what's going on? I was like, yo, this is not working now. You're putting me in a position that I may lose my home, Jamison. I'm barely making it. And I'm trying to save my home. I got you here because I thought you were the responsible one. Why are you doing this to me?

He goes, I'm not doing this on purpose. It just happened. And it was really stressful and really stressful. When I noticed that this pattern was happening month one, month two, on month three, I went to court. I said, I need to evict this person. And I had served him papers with eviction.

When I had served him the papers, I mean, I didn't serve him. Someone had served him. And when I came back, I was in the kitchen when he comes out of his room in this time of anger. And he says, you better get yourself a good lawyer because I'm about to take your home. And I looked at him again like, what?

Then I went to the post office and I go to this Asian woman who's at the counter. She's the postal worker. She says, can I speak to you a moment? Would you happen to know of anyone who's renting an apartment? I live out in Staten Island with my daughter and I'm looking for a room to rent just for the wintertime. Perfect. I said, I don't have a room to offer you, but I have an easy up tent. I

I mean, if you're willing, I can set that up in the living room and you can kind of camp in there in your little cabana. She goes, but I have two dogs. I said, oh, I love dogs. It already annoyed Jamison that I got someone in here into the apartment. I forewarned him. I said, Jamison, you put me in a position that I literally have to set up a tent for her to stay there with her dogs. I think it was September that she came in.

It wasn't even a month. I'm at work and she calls me at work. Sonia, Sonia, I'm so sorry, but I'm really having a problem here with your roommate. He's yelling at my face that my dogs have pooped on the floor and that this place stinks. And I was like, what? And she said, he's getting really close to my face.

But the reason why I'm calling you is because whenever I go to work, I always close the window. And when I came back, that window was open. And the only way that window can be open is that he has to come inside her cabana. I was like, what? If you feel threatened, like you have to call the police, you go right ahead and you call the police. I'm on my way.

I get home. I said, Jamison, what's going on? He's like, oh, you don't understand. I came from taking my run. And when I came to this place, this apartment stunk. He goes, and you, young lady, you broke our lease. You broke our contract. You know, that's against the law, what you did.

I was like, against the law? I go, lease? What lease? I said, let me make things clear to you, Jamison. I gave you a month-to-month lease. You stopped paying your rent in June. You already broke the lease. He got really like, oh, like she got me. I told him, Jamison, don't you go into her room.

And it's the first time I started hearing him cursing, like, I don't give a fuck about that woman. And if you think that you and your girlfriend are going to go ahead and throw me out of here, you are mistaken. I was like, girlfriend? I said, what are you talking about? This is a totally platonic relationship, just like you and I. So don't get twisted here. And that's all I have to say. He's like, oh, OK. He went into his room. He closed his door.

Then she comes back. Can I speak with you? And I was like, yeah, sure. And I go, how are things? She goes, no, no, we're like passing ships now. We're not talking. He doesn't talk to me. I don't talk to him. But I don't think this is going to work. And I just go, oh, my God, there goes my renter. She told me he really got me scared. And I'd be careful if I were you. And I said, no, don't worry. I know how to defend myself. Don't worry. Thank you. And I understand.

But when she left, I started thinking, well, if Jamison went into her apartment, who's to say that this man hasn't been going into my room? And so I decide, because I had to work the midnight shift that weekend, I said, I'm going to take this empty wine bottle. It was a tall wine bottle. And I put the bottle right there so that it's the first thing that will fall over if you open up my door. I go to work and I come back out at 9. I usually get back in at 10 a.m.

but when i opened the door i didn't even feel any bottle and when i looked that bottle was placed standing up against the wall and right there i knew this man is going into my room

I knock on his door. I go, Jamison? He goes, yeah. I said, Jamison, obviously it didn't work out with this roommate because you went into her private area. And again, he said, I don't give a fuck about her. I'm glad that she's gone. And I said, but I also noticed that you've been going into my room. And that is completely out of the question.

He kind of like got a little tense and I can see the pin of his ear turn from a beige to a beet red. And he starts walking towards me and I'm right at the foot of his door. And he puts his face like an inch or two away from mine. He goes, go ahead, bring it on. Again, I look at him like twisted, like what is wrong with you? He goes, no, go ahead, go ahead. You won't bring it on. You think I'll go ahead, bring it on, go ahead. And he gets really close.

Without taking my face off his face, I just hit that door and I said, you get your face off my face. No, why? Why? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? And he started getting closer again. I used to train in Taekwondo in the 90s, which is more of a ring fighting for about three years when an acquaintance of mine from work I heard had been missing.

And I get a call from one of the professors and they call me. They're like, Sony, have you seen Debbie? And it's Debbie Bowman. I said, no, I haven't seen her since she graduated. And she no longer has animals here. Debbie went to work on Thursday and she never made it to work. By Monday, they discovered Debbie Bowman's body.

Her roommate had, they had a confrontation and he killed her. He stabbed her multiple times. He dismembered her body and put her body in different garbage cans in the city. There was such silence, like a morning at Hunter College. It was really eerie.

I realized I'm trained in a ring fighting in Taekwondo, but in reality, I wouldn't know what to do if someone in the street came and put a gun to me or a knife to me or held me a certain way. And it just so happened that at the school I was going to in Taekwondo, there was a teacher doing women's self-defense in jiu-jitsu.

And she made it a point to say there are basic things that every woman should know that would help in increasing your probability of survival in the event of an attack. And so I took this class and she formed a group called WESDA, Women's Empowerment Self-Defense Academy.

This women's self-defense class was so empowering to me, and I was so passionate about it that I started taking jujitsu classes from 1991 to about 2007. When Jamison ended up getting in my face like that, I told him, I don't know who you think you're talking to, but I'm not one of your young little innocent girls, and I do know how to defend myself. And he was getting louder and

I could see that he wants me to make the first move. And this is one of the first things in your self-defense training. People will instigate you so that you could be the person to blame as to why he took action. But instead, I told him, no, you're not even worth the breath that I'm wasting on you. And I'm going to go to church. Oh my God, I asked God, please help me with this man. Please get him out of my life.

And when I came back from church, there were two policemen waiting in front of my apartment. I said, hello, officer. And they're like, Sonia Acevedo? And I said, yeah. And he said, you can't go into this apartment. I said, I can't go into this apartment. This is my apartment.

And he says, no, no, the man inside, he says that you threatened him with his life, that you hit the wall and you threatened him. I was like, the man was in my face trying to instigate me. And this is why I didn't want to have a problem. So I left to church. I just came from church. Let me go inside and show you the deed to my apartment. No, sorry, you can't go in.

His life has been threatened. You punched the wall. You've been selling drugs illegally here. And you've been renting this apartment to illegal immigrants on the floor. I was like, what? Oh my God, that is not true, I told him. This is not true.

At that very second, my neighbors from across the hall come back with their groceries. And I said, please, please, Jeannie and Steve, can you please tell these officers who owns that apartment and what's been going on with that apartment?

And luckily, he says, I'm a retired fireman, but I still do some work. And the man that's in there is a squatter, a professional squatter. He hasn't paid her rent in over five months. The officer says, do you have any papers that you'd like me to serve him? I said, no, no, I actually already served him papers. So they said, we can't serve him again. They went in. I don't know what they told him. I'm sure that they scolded him.

Next thing they know, they open the door and they said, come in, you can go to your room. But you two have to play nice until the court date. I went into my room that same night. I went to Home Depot, got a lock for my door. And then we were passing ships in the night. We wouldn't talk to each other. I really had my guard up as most people would say, oh my God, I can't believe that he could have come in and killed you.

I'm like, if we're going to go down, it's not me who's going to go down. It's him. I remember going to bed. I remember saying, oh my God, I'm going to lose my home because this freaking man. And I was, I started crying because I loved my home. And then I said, but Sony, let's not think that far ahead. Let's just think that, well, this freaking man is right there next door to you. You better stay alive.

I noticed that my cat, who always came to greet me, he didn't come to greet me. I was like, where's Yodel? And I went to the living room and I see him hiding underneath a table. Normally he doesn't hang there that much, but I could see that he's...

I'm like, my cat, he can't breathe. Something's up with him. I get up and I start opening up the door and he opens the door and he says, what's going on? I said, something's up with Yodel. Something's up with Yodel, my cat. I have to take him to the hospital. And I put him in a carrier and I leave. As I'm driving from Rockaway and I'm right over the 59th Street Bridge and we're in traffic, Yodel takes his last breath. And I was just telling him, it's okay, baby. It's okay. I'm still here.

And he died right there. And I take him to the animal medical center. They take his body. I'm so upset. And when I come back, I see Jamison coming back with Zachary. He sees me that I'm parking the car and he waits for me outside the car. And I come on and he's like, how's Yoro? How's Yoro? And I go, he died. And I start crying. And Jamison hugs me.

He hugs me. I'm so sorry. I could hear the frog in his throat. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I said, it's okay, you know, I'm just glad that I was with him in his last breath and he didn't die alone. And he's like, I'm really sorry. I said, thank you. Thank you for that. I told him. Jamison was a little gentler, but still we weren't talking because we knew what was going to come.

I couldn't keep up with my rent. You know, I had loans that I had borrowed from my pension that now defaulted. When I added everything up between the baby, the home, trying to live on my own for a year at least, I had four defaulted loans. It's come up to about $87,000.

all i've said to myself is othoni you will not be able to retire all you can do is work try to save up enough money so that you can pay at least one of these loans a little at a time march april may he paid june july august september october now it's eight months total

I remember that it was supposed to be, you know, the village Halloween parade. But they were talking that a big storm was coming called Hurricane Sandy. And I remember saying, what a coincidence that the storm is named Sandy, like my ex. And I remember saying, oh, my God, I got to get it out of this house. I literally lived between the ocean and the bay.

And I left to Brooklyn, Williamsburg, to be with my mom because, you know, she's here by herself. The storm comes. I came back a week later and I asked my sister, Meryl, come with me because I want a witness of someone else to see what this man looks like. She's like, yeah, yeah, come on, I'll go with you. I lived on the fifth floor, but all the first floor apartments were completely underwater. Completely. Everyone in the first floor lost everything.

And sure enough, when I opened up the apartment door, there was no electricity. He's still there. And he sees me and my sister. My sister catches an eye on him and he immediately gets up and he closes the door. I went to the bathroom and I see that there was cat litter in the toilet. And he had been using the water from my fish tank to flush the litter down the toilet.

I remember saying to myself, let him screw himself up in here because there's absolutely nothing here. After that week, I go back home to check on the apartment and I opened up the door. His door was completely open. Nothing in his room. No table, no dog, no cat. All his things were gone. He didn't touch my things.

I said, oh my God, did this man leave? Oh my God, did he leave? I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I'm going to go right now and change the lock to this apartment. And that's what happened. This man has left the building. And the only thing that was in the living room was the pair of pants and the shirt that I told him, if you ever don't want it, leave it for me. And he left me a pair of pants and that shirt.

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Let's face it, we were all that kid. So first call your parents to say I'm sorry, and then download the Instacart app to get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes all school year long. Get a $0 delivery fee for your first three orders while supplies last. Minimum $10 per order. Additional terms apply. During this whole time, when I would go to work, and I would tell my supervisor, oh my God, this roommate, I was literally sleepless. I was working three to four jobs.

I was coming to work late, and my supervisor was like, you have to be here on time. I said, you just don't understand. Please, you have to work with me. We all have problems. You have to get in on time. I said, please, you don't know. I can show you the court. No, I don't need to see anything. I just don't believe it. We all have problems, she would say. Just get in on time. I was really putting on my soldier armor emotionally, physically, mentally, physically.

There's no time to sit and cry. You got to be prepared for war. But it was really taking a physical, emotional, and mental toll on my body. Those chemical reactions that occur in your body affect you, manifest itself in other ways. Here I was losing my hair. I wasn't getting enough sleep. I felt like tortured. It really took a toll on me. My thyroid level was like, forget it.

I've gained 40 pounds since that time because my life changed. I felt so relieved when I came home and I saw that Jamison was not there. But he was the big boulder that fell into my, what I call my sanctuary of peace. But he was that boulder that fell and caused this ripple effect.

Even after Jamison, I still got another roommate, but I was so far behind that I could not catch up. I couldn't get back on my feet. Wells Fargo ended up giving the mortgage to someone else. That company ended up sending me a letter that your place is foreclosed. You have to be out by December. In July, my father had surgery and he passed away.

I couldn't bring it to my mother's three-bedroom apartment because she has dementia. And so I didn't want to disrupt her environment. So I literally have to put the rest in storage. Instead of being able to talk about this, I feel like I have to put a guard up, even now when I'm speaking to you. It gives me anxiety because it's kind of like picking at the wound again.

But as a responsible person who's taken self-defense, I realize it's my responsibility to speak out about this person. Someone did something wrong. And the problem is that things get swept under the rug. When there's some trauma, when you have something that's so built up, you have a poison within you. If you don't discuss it, if you leave it there, it's going to ferment and take over your life and your body.

You need to take this out by speaking it. And if we don't, it's going to manifest itself in physical forms. You know, and unfortunately, we're all like a head of lettuce. We have to peel the outer layers before we really get deep into the core of who we are.

I started thinking about how things have affected me and how it's best to just kind of slow down. Just like that, I need to slow down and take care of me more. So I ended up diving into coming home. My mother's home was obviously a safe place for me. It's always been. She's always been there with open arms. Thank God for her.

But unfortunately, it's affected me in this way now that Jamison is not in my life. I tried to be in a relationship maybe like for a year, but I realized I'm not there. That's not what I want. I'm in no place. Life in my relationship, trust issues. In all ways of my life, I realized that trust is a big issue.

It was maybe about two years, maybe even three. I felt this responsibility of having to know, like, wait a minute, where is this man? Because if he's done something, I really need to write somewhere, maybe even in Craigslist. Do not run to this person. You know, this person's looking to make your life impossible. And so I just looked up his name.

When I see that a woman was affected by this man immediately after he left me, her friend ended up writing an article. She's a journalist and she ended up writing an article about her experience.

who was kind enough to hear his sad story that he's a survivor of the Hurricane Sandy and he has no place to live, it's just him and his dogs. And this lady was preparing a home that she already had set to rent to a family. But she told him, you're more than welcome to stay here, but only for two weeks. And he was like, okay, no problem.

When she went back, her bedroom door was open with Zachary sleeping on her bed, the dog. And she noticed that he had switched things around and ended up also being harassed by him. She ended up losing her home because he destroyed the place. And the woman ended up going to jail.

It's remarkable to me what this man got away with. You know, he put innocent people in jail. When I saw that article, I realized this man is getting a little more physical. Though with me, he never put his hand on me. But with the others, he got to put his hands on them

I wrote to the woman from the article and she told me he's at it again. He's actually doing something as we speak right now with Alex. He tried to do something to a young girl, Alex, in her apartment. They got him arrested and Alex's mother ended up contacting the woman after me.

asking would she be willing to write a letter stating what was the experiences that she had with Janice and Bachman. I wrote to Alex's mother and I told her that I was another person affected and she's like, oh my God, thank you. I wrote how he affected me, how I lost my home, how it's affected my job.

And it wasn't until I got a call from the New York magazine. Someone called Billy, contacted me. He interviewed me. It was such a relief when I spoke to Billy because it was the first time, other than my own therapist, that there was actually a person who wanted to hear what happened to me. After Billy, Netflix took over wanting to do a story.

That meant a lot to me because I didn't even get that from my own family. When I first spoke with Billy, he was going to go to the court on the day that they were going to arraign him and give Jamison his sentencing. And Alex was so motivated to be there. She's like, I want to look at this man in the face. And so I told Billy, oh, my God, I'm so curious to see what is the outcome.

It wasn't until the second interview, the second interview, when I was speaking to Billy at my old beach neighborhood, he said, oh, well, did you hear what happened? He tried to cut Alex. I was like, oh, my God, this is dangerous. He's starting to escalate. He's starting to feel more powerful to do something.

After that, he says, well, did you hear what happened about his brother? And I said, no, no, no. What happened? And then he tells me that his brother got him out of jail. And the moment he said that, I said, how lucky is this man that, man, he has this brother that saves him out of jail. Man, this man needs jail time, you know, because he needs to learn his lesson. Then they said,

Well, you know, they had a physical confrontation because he wasn't going to let him use the truck. And he killed his brother. I was like, what? He killed his brother. I was like, oh, my God. I said the only two beings that cared for this man so much was Zachary, his dog, and his brother, Harry, his younger brother.

And then he says, no, no, no, Harry wasn't the younger brother. Harry was the older brother and he had just become a grandfather. I was like, what? Jameson told me that Harry was a younger brother who just became a new father. I never realized that he was the older one.

And so the puzzles got put together little by little. Like, it appears to me as though he was really so threatened by his brother. He wanted to be the bigger guy, but it just wasn't working for him. And then I looked at Billy and I said, well, for sure, he's in jail now. Did you get to finally see him? Because I knew that Billy was going to go to the court. And he says, well, you know what happened on the day of the arraignment? We went, but he never came out.

When they went to get him, they found that he hung himself. I was like, he hung himself? In one of the conversations I had with Jamison Bachman, and I don't know what brought up this conversation, but I remember saying, I just don't understand what would bring a person to want to kill themselves when life is so precious. And he agreed with me. Yeah, you're right. I don't know why someone would kill themselves. So then for me to hear that he hung himself,

I told him, Jamison, I don't know why you're doing this, but remember my words. Karma is a bitch. What's going to come to you is going to come tenfold worse than what you're doing. Just remember that. I remember telling him this. But I tried to put myself in his position because I saw a nice side of Jamison. We got along. I don't care how much of an enemy you are to me. I would never wish your death.

I would never wish death to anyone. Why? Because I realized this man had mental health issues. But everyone swept these issues under the rug. Just left this man outside to deal with his own issues. I found out later that his mother was not dead. His mother is still alive in a nursing home in Pennsylvania.

I remember when Jamison first went to move in with me, I was like, why are you leaving? Why are you leaving so quickly? And he told me that his girlfriend, she had an alcohol problem and all she does is drink, drink, drink. That, I found out later, was another lie. So he would just make up stories. Even though I would say, God have mercy on his soul, I also feel...

such a sigh of relief that I don't have to look over my shoulder that this man is still around. It still hurts me. You know, I'll be honest with that. I still get a frog in my throat. And Arlene said it best in that documentary. She's like, no one will ever get it. It was a real scary situation. No one will ever get it until you're in it.

I'm in a better place. It's not the place I want to be, but my goal is to really pay off that debt because I don't want that ball and chain. And so it was a huge surprise when Dominique from Netflix contacted me to say, there's a woman who was so touched by the story that she started a GoFundMe page. I was like, a GoFundMe page? What?

She goes, yeah. She goes, I think the last time I looked, it was something like seven or maybe $10,000 at the most. I was like, what? Are you serious? Even if I got $5, I'm so grateful. I am so grateful to Imelda Jimenez. You don't know what this woman has done for me has really touched me because she did this for me. Not even my own family has done this for me.

As I'm reading the GoFundMe comments, all these people are saying, Sony, don't give up hope. You know, there are still good people. Before, I used to say, I see humans, but no humanity. Now I see humanity where love always wins.

Today's episode featured Sonia Acevedo. If you'd like to reach out to her, you can find her on LinkedIn under Sonia Acevedo. That's A-C-E-V-E-D-O, a.k.a. Sony, S-O-N-Y.

If you'd like to contribute to help her get out of debt, you can find the GoFundMe campaign set up for her by Imelda Jimenez called Help Sonia Acevedo Get Her Dream Home Back. If you'd like to find out more details about Jamison Bachman, you can hear other victim stories on the Netflix series Worst Roommate Ever, episodes titled Roommate Wanted, Part 1 and 2.

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Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s**t, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agarne.

So here's how this show's going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No offense. No offense, Travis Kelsey, but you've got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter.

Is it Brandon Ayuk, Tee Higgins, or Devontae Adams? Plus, on Thursdays, we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday night football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.