Kidnapped in the Desert | Big Money | 2
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This episode of Against the Odds contains strong language, depictions of violence, and allusions to sexual assault. Please be advised.

Jessica Buchanan sits on a dirty foam mattress beneath an orange plastic tarp that hangs from a tree. It's the only protection she has from the scorching hot sun of the Somali desert. She's guessing it's mid-November, almost a month since the kidnappers first took her and Paul hostage, but it's hard to keep track of time.

Her eyelids open and close, fading in and out of a haze of exhaustion. She has a thyroid condition, and without medication, it's getting worse. She also has a UTI, a urinary tract infection, and she can feel a fever coming on. Jessica looks over at Paul. His blonde hair is matted and his face is red. He's almost 60 years old, and a month of stress is taking its toll. But physically, he's doing better than her.

The first night they split them up, Jessica had a panic attack. But a few hours later, the kidnappers brought him back to camp with no explanation. Since then, the kidnappers have been separating them regularly. Usually, they take Paul to another camp, sometimes for a few hours, but sometimes for days. Then they bring him back.

When Paul's here, they lean on each other for sanity. They swap stories, sing songs, do math problems. Paul quizzes her on European history. She quizzes him on English. When Paul's gone, Jessica's left alone with nothing to do but think. When she's not afraid her head will be blown off, it's boring. Minutes tick into hours. No one ever talks about that part of being held captive.

She pulls sticks off the tree she sits under and makes pictures in the sand, drawings of her father and siblings and Eric. She also watches the kidnappers and each morning makes a plan, something she can accomplish, big or small, that will help her stay alive.

One day, she might challenge herself to pick the perfect time to ask for more water. Another, she'll try to guess what time the angriest kidnapper will go off. Today, she's watching Abdi, the de facto leader at camp. He's about 50 feet away, yelling into his phone. He paces while he talks. Jessica can tell he's agitated. And whatever's happening on the phone right now is making it worse. Maybe he's talking to his boss.

Or maybe Abdi's talking to Mohammed, the translator who's working with negotiators and Jessica's NGO. When Abdi hangs up the phone, he's breathing hard. The other kidnappers scatter. His eyes settle on Jessica and Paul. Jessica nudges Paul with her elbow. "Paul, look." Abdi picks up a large stick and walks over. He grabs Paul by the arm. "Move." As soon as Paul stands up, Abdi begins beating him.

Where is big money? Where is big money? Paul falls to the ground, trying to cover his head. It's not our fault. We told you. We don't have big money. We don't control Muhammad. At the mention of Muhammad, Abdi's eyes turn dark. Screw Muhammad. He lies. Small money, small money. Abdi leaves Paul on the ground and walks over to Jessica, waving a stick in her face. You, up, walk.

Jessica obeys. When they get to a tree, Abdi leans into her face. She can feel his hot breath on her skin. I'm a guerrilla warrior. You mess with me? Where is the big money? I don't know. We don't know. You hit us and we still don't know. Abdi pauses, his eyes fixed on Jessica's. Then he takes his stick and scrawls a number in the dirt. This is how much I need Jess's.

He drags a finger across his neck to make the point. She keeps her face blank. She won't show fear. Jessica says nothing, but her mind is already forming a plan. From here on out, when they bring her food or water, she will smuggle small amounts into her rice sack.

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Progressive Casualty Insurance Company & Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. From Wondery, I'm Cassie DePeckel, and this is Against the Odds. In our last episode, Jessica Buchanan and her colleague Paul Thisted were kidnapped by Somali land pirates while working in one of the most dangerous places on Earth.

They quickly realize this isn't just a group of thugs who spontaneously saw a moment to grab up two Westerners. This is part of a much bigger and more organized operation. This was thought out and planned. Now Jessica and Paul are pawns in a ransom battle between an unstable clan of criminals and their NGO thousands of miles away. This is episode two, Big Money. ♪

It's late afternoon, and the hot sun is beginning to sink down on the horizon. The clock is ticking. The threat Abdi made to execute the hostages hangs in the air at the camp, but no one says a word about it over the next several days. Jessica wonders if Abdi was bluffing, trying to exert control. They're still giving her food, but it could stop at any moment. She squirrels away bottles of water and mini cans of tuna.

and she continues to watch her captors. There are about 20 in all. That's how she makes her first friend. Well, not a friend exactly, but at least someone who doesn't wave a gun in her face or take pleasure in scaring her, the way some of the others do. His name is Dahir. She has nicknamed him the helper. He's older than the others. He mainly functions as the driver, but sometimes he helps the cook.

He does her small favors, like bringing her mangoes or giving her fresh water when no one is looking. He always tells her how sorry he is, and he never carries a gun. Jessica's grateful for Dahir's small kindnesses, and now she's hoping he can help her again. She's been forced to eat and drink out of the same unwashed bowl and diesel can for days.

One day, when the others are on the far side of the camp, she gets up from her mat and takes the short walk to Dahir's car. She speaks slowly and uses her hands to pantomime. Can she help with cooking? She figures maybe if she can wash the food, she won't get as sick. The hard reality is this is her situation. The sooner she accepts it and figures out how to navigate through it, the better off she'll be. Dahir consults with the others.

Jessica sees a few of them shrug, and the next morning, he's teaching her how to make a Somali camp bread. The dough is made out of flour and water, which Dahir pounds into big, round, flat pieces. He digs a hole in the ground, about four inches deep, and then covers it with sand and hot coals until it cooks through. When it's done, she helps Dahir beat the excess sand off the loaves.

The simplicity of the task and the quiet of the cooking area soothes Jessica. Paul wanders over, drawn in by the scent of freshly baked bread. For a brief moment, the world almost feels normal again. And then a loud ruckus at the far edge of camp startles them both. Jessica's heart starts to pound. Her body catapulted into a flight-or-fight response, prepared for the worst. But when she looks over...

It's just a group of men huddled around an empty truck, with their hands shading their eyes, peering in the windows, arguing with each other. One of them roughly pushes another out of the way and jiggles the handle of the back door. The kidnappers have locked their keys in the car. It's so absurd, she's not quite sure it's real. Jessica glances at Paul. We have officially been kidnapped by the world's dumbest pirates. They both start to laugh.

Until Jessica realizes being held hostage by people who don't think ahead could make this very dangerous situation even worse. Eric Landelbaum drives past the cinder block walls surrounding the compound of buildings that make up the Danish Refugee Council. It was a three-hour flight from Garraway to Nairobi, and then a short drive from the airport past lush green tea fields and bright red and orange tropical foliage.

He and Jess used to love this drive. She always said Nairobi was one of the most magical places on Earth. Now she's been gone for more than three weeks, and he's losing his grip. So he set up a meeting with Dan, the head of security. Dan has been great about checking in by phone every day, but the message is always the same: "We don't know anything," or "The negotiators are working with a translator, but there's not much progress."

It feels like he's being kept in the dark. He knows it's not personal. This is how it's done. But he feels powerless. But he has an idea, which is why he's here. Dan is waiting for him in the back office. Eric jumps right in. Dan, Jessica's got to be really sick by now. I know it. I hear you, Eric, but the kidnappers didn't say anything about her health when our translator talked to them. Right, but would they tell you something like that?

They want us to believe she's okay, right? But the truth is she doesn't have her meds. Her body could shut down. Dan considers a moment. What do you suggest? What if I could gather up her medicine and then through a third party, we find a local doctor who can give it to her? Maybe even examine her? Dan nods thoughtfully. Finally, he says, Finally,

Do you want to see if you can find the medicine she needs? Yes, whatever I find, I'll bring back here. When Eric leaves the compound, he drives to every pharmacy in Nairobi, buying up as much of her medication as he can. It may not be much, but at least he's taking action. If the plan works, they'll be one step closer to getting Jessica home safe.

John Buchanan looks out of a plane window onto red African soil stretching as far as the eye can see. He's sitting next to his two younger children, Jessica's sister and brother. John spent the last month in the United States waiting by the phone for news of Jessica. Eric calls every day, but the time and distance make his daughter feel abstract. The people working for Jessica's release are in Africa.

Eric is there all alone, advocating for her. He needs to be there too, doing what he can on the ground. The plane arcs down over a sprawling jumble of shanty towns, flowering private gardens, and space-age skyscrapers. Maybe together, he and Eric can move something forward, get closer to finding his child. When the plane touches down, John closes his eyes. He already feels closer to her.

Jessica rolls over on her mat. Her fever is back. It feels like it's consuming her body. Heat radiates off her skin. The pain in her gut is excruciating. She hasn't slept in two days. Jessica holds onto her stomach and sits up on her mat. She doesn't want to show weakness, but she's worried she might go into shock. She needs a doctor. Abdi, I need help. Abdi ignores her.

He and a few of the other kidnappers are glued to a video playing on his phone. Jessica knows what it is. He's shown it to her before. Two Spanish sailors captured by Somali pirates being interviewed. They sit under orange, weather-worn tarps. Not all that different from the tarp Jessica sits under now. "Jesses, 35 million. They get 35 million for these sailors." The word "million" lights up the other kidnappers.

They raise their rifles in the air and cheer. To Jessica, it feels surreal. Abdi, please. I need a doctor. Abdi has had enough. No. Paul stands up to intervene. Abdi doesn't like this at all. He grabs a stick and stands up. Paul, no. Please sit down. Dabriel glances at Jessica. She can tell he's high as a kite, but maybe he's had enough too.

He puts his arm around Abdi's shoulder and whispers something in his ear. Then, Abdi sits back down. It's over for now. Jessica lays back on the mat, holding her stomach. She's too anxious to sleep. She stares at the sky. There are millions of stars dotting the blackness. A blanket of twinkling lights and galaxies light years away.

She and Eric used to lay on the roof of their Nairobi guest house, looking up into the night sky, musing how small people are in this big, huge cosmos. She was so trusting then. She believed bad things wouldn't happen to her. Things were simple. Everything is so much more complicated now. In the early morning, she wakes to the sound of tires pulling into the camp. A car door opens, and a new face jumps out.

Jess has never seen him before. Abdi calls out to Jessica on the mat by the tree. Jess's. Doctor. The man is young. Maybe 18 years old. There's no way someone this young could be a doctor. When he gets to Jessica's mat, he pulls out what looks like a blood pressure measuring device. It's rusty and old. The boy tries wrapping it around her arm, but it falls off. The adhesive doesn't work.

He tries again, this time holding it tight with his hand. But the needle on the dial doesn't work. It's hopeless. In frustration, the young man reaches into his bag and pulls out a pocket of pills wrapped in tinfoil and throws them in her face. Jabril walks over. See, Jess? Antibiotics. Jessica says nothing. She tucks them into her rice bag next to the extra water she's been hoarding.

She has no idea what the pills really are, but there's no way she's taking them. Jabril's eyes are distant, unfocused. It's okay now, Jess. We brought you a doctor. You're fine. Next call to Mohammed, you tell him you're fine. Then he and the doctor walk to the far end of camp and sit down on some straw mats. They roll up the balls of cat to chew.

If Jessica wasn't so sick, she'd be angry. This is the doctor she begged for? That night, clouds roll across the sky and release a downpour of rain. The tarp over her and Paul's head quickly sags from the weight of the water and then drops down. Jessica can't stop throwing up. Dahir takes pity and motions for her to come to his car. She follows him into the front seat.

but she's afraid he'll be angry if she throws up inside. So when her stomach starts to heave, she opens the door and drops to the mud on all fours, retching and coughing. She wonders how long her body can hold on in these conditions. With her kidneys getting weaker by the day, she grits her teeth. She's going to hold on. Until her body recovers, her mind will have to stay strong. ♪

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Head over to Symbiotica.com and use code "Odds" for 20% off and free shipping on your subscription order. When an American is kidnapped on foreign soil, a machine starts up. On the first day, Jessica's NGO calls together a Crisis Management Team, or CMT. The CMT interfaces with the family and attempts to enlist local Somali elders to help free the hostages.

They also call the organization that holds their Kidnap and Rescue Insurance, or KNR. Not all NGOs have Kidnap and Rescue Insurance. It's a sore spot among workers who put their lives on the line in dangerous areas to try and do good. Jessica and Paul are fortunate that their NGO does. They bring in negotiators who work with the translator, in this case, Mohamed.

He fields the calls and relays information between both sides. The kidnappers' starting price for Jessica and Paul's safe return is $45 million. The negotiators start at $25,000. Over the course of the next weeks and months, they will try to reach a middle ground. If they come to a mutually agreed-upon number, neither side will be happy.

Meanwhile, the FBI brings in hundreds of experts who work for hundreds of hours to try and locate the hostages. Drone operators, intelligence officers, analysts, political advisors, language and cultural experts. They meet with the crisis management team twice a week to share info. The American government is also involved, watching the situation from on high.

In this case, they deploy Navy SEAL Team 6, a classified special ops unit of the military. The SEALs are some of the best trained fighters in the world. What they exactly do or how they'll work on Jessica's case isn't known. Jessica and Paul have no idea any of this is happening. They wait alone, wondering if a price will be agreed on for their lives or if someone will come to rescue them. But one thing is clear.

Jessica is sick and growing sicker by the day. Whatever happens will need to happen soon, or it may be too late. Jessica sits on her mat under a tree, arms wrapped around her legs. The pain in her stomach has subsided, but she knows it's temporary. Without medication, her thyroid condition will get worse. And without antibiotics, her UTI could spread to her kidneys, endangering her life. Jabril sits next to her.

As usual, he's high on cot and not making sense. To think, she once thought Jabril might help save her. He may speak English, but he's the same as the others. But she needs him. Jabril is her voice to the outside world. He reaches out and starts rubbing her back. Jessica stiffens. She's the only woman in the camp. There's nothing to stop any of these men from raping her.

Jess's, I come to America. Stay with you. The smell of Jabril's putrid breath overwhelms her. His top teeth are missing. His eyes glazed over with the effects of the drug. She can literally feel her skin crawl. She needs to be very careful with her words. Don't provoke him. She speaks softly, but firmly.

No, Jabril. You can't stay with me. I'm married, remember? But Jabril is lost in his head, off in his own fantasy world. I will sleep on the floor by your bed. Jabril moves closer. You are very beautiful, Jesses. Jessica feels like an animal, completely trapped. If he overpowers her, she's no match. Suddenly, a voice calls from the distance. Jabril! Jabril!

One of the kidnappers holds up a bundle of cot and says something in Somali. Jabril stands up and starts to stumble away. "Okay, Jesses, I see you later." Jessica lays back on her mat, relieved for now. It's November 17th, three and a half weeks since the kidnappers plucked Jessica and Paul out of the Green Zone and drove them into the desert. The air is hot and dry.

The wind gusts 18 miles per hour, kicking up dust in its wake. Jessica is bouncing around in the back of an SUV. Again, she is exhausted and sick. Her fever has returned. She's not sure where they're going exactly. Jabril told her they need to make a video, a proof of life to show the world, like the one the pirates made with the Spanish prisoners. Maybe if they show the world they're holding an American, the NGO will be forced to listen.

The SUV pulls into a clearing. Waiting are two boys with a video camera. They couldn't be more than 15 years old. Jabril motions for Jessica and Paul to get out. These are our journalists. They will take the video. Jesses and Paul, you say what I told you to say, okay? He motions to a dry acacia tree. Over there, in front of the tree, line up. Jesses, you on the right, Paul on the left.

Then he says something in Somali to two of the kidnappers, who get in behind them. Their faces are covered in multi-hued shemags, or headscarves. Only the slits of their eyes are exposed. They point AK-47s and rocket launchers into the air. Jessica watches as the videographers struggle to hoist the camera on top of a huge tripod. The wind threatens to knock them over. She can't believe this is her life.

She just wanted to help children in a country she loves. Now, she's about to star in a proof-of-life video that will broadcast around the world. A video her family will see, that Eric will see. One of the videographers gets behind the lens and says something in Somali to Jabril. Closer, closer. He motions for Jessica and Paul to stand shoulder to shoulder and the armed kidnappers to move in.

We need to see the guns. Jessica takes a breath. They start recording. Paul and myself, Jessica, we are safe. We are alive. We are doing well. A gust of wind covers her words and blows her hair across her face. She looks tired, sick. We need our families to know, to find a way to reach a solution financially, as our organization does not seem to be able to reach a solution.

They're the words Jabril told her to say. But when she says the word family, she breaks a little inside. She nods once, then puts her hands over her face. This might be the last time her family sees her alive. She stands up straight. If this is the last time they see her, she wants them to see her strong. Then it's Paul's turn. As you can see, Jessica and myself, we are safe.

We are treated well. It is important there are no attacks. It's also important to support us financially and to bring a solution. And then it's over. Everyone piles back into the car and heads back to camp. Jessica and Paul are quiet. The kidnappers are higher than usual, almost jubilant. They hang their guns out the window and fire into the desert.

An explosion of sound that rockets off the ground and then is swallowed up by another burst. Their laughter echoes off in the distance. Jessica listens to the bullets and imagines them going into her body. It's a sobering moment. This is real. The kidnappers are tired and the options are dwindling. If something doesn't change soon, someone will die.

When she and Paul get back to camp, they sit side by side on their mats watching the sun go down. The adrenaline of the last few hours slowly fades away. The sight of the bright orange ball sinking over the horizon takes her breath away. Even now, even here. It reminds her to grab onto beauty wherever and whenever it comes. Paul, this could take months or longer. We're in this for the long haul.

Paul is quiet for a moment. Finally, he says, Okay, so we're going to have to lay out some ground rules. One, no attempts to escape. Jessica adds, We stay together and leave together, and we are allowed to feel and talk about any emotion we have, except despair. Agreed. Except despair. That's not an option. I promise you now. I promise too, Jess.

And there, in the dusk of the Somali night, a pact is made. One that will help keep both Jessica and Paul alive. Despite the proof-of-life video, things seem to have stalled. It's early evening, and Jabril and Abdi have been passing the phone back and forth. Both of them seem agitated. When they hang up, Jabril walks over to where Jessica sits. We don't trust Mohammed. What? Why?

Maybe he's a spy. Jessica's used to the kidnapper's paranoia. But this is a whole new level. He's not a spy, Jabril. You heard me give him my company's security information. Maybe your company doesn't know he's a spy. Jessica doesn't even know how to respond to an idea this absurd. We need to talk to your family. It's the only way to know Mohammed speaks for them. Jessica starts to panic. The one time she was allowed to call Eric, his number was disconnected.

Jabril tells her not to worry. She can call the head of her NGO. If he is who he says he is, he can make it happen. Call him now. Jabril dials the phone and hands it to her. It must be two in the morning in Denmark. Finally, a sleepy voice answers. Hello? Sir, this is Jessica Buchanan. Jessica who? Jessica can't believe this. Does he really not know who she is?

I work for you. I've been kidnapped in Somalia. Jessica Buchanan. Now he's awake. Jessica continues. I need you to get someone from my family or Paul Thisted's family. The kidnappers want to talk to them. They don't believe Mohammed is communicating for them. And suddenly, she is crying again. Damn it. Listen, they're going to do something bad if you don't do this. Finally, he says, I'll see what I can do.

Eric wakes early on Thanksgiving morning after another restless night. He can't believe it's already Thanksgiving. Last year, he and Jessica spent Thanksgiving in Hargizah. They threw an expat feast with friends. They drank wine and played music. Paul was there too. It seems like so long ago. In the other room, Eric can hear Jessica's family making breakfast. They've tried their best to stay strong.

In the last few weeks, Erik's even found himself praying with them. He's never been religious but finds solace in it now. Every day is a struggle to move forward and not fall into despair. The coordination between the Danish NGO, the negotiation team, and the FBI back in the United States is a mess. There are too many cooks in the kitchen, and he feels like he knows less than anyone.

Eric's phone rings. Eric, listen. We need you to do something for us. Yeah, Dan, anything. Tell me what you need. The kidnappers no longer believe Mohammed speaks for you. They're demanding to speak to someone in the family. Do you think you can handle it? Eric is confused for a moment. Why would Dan need to even ask?

Eric, listen, we don't actually know if you'll even speak to Jess, but if they put her on, you might hear things. Things you'll wish you hadn't heard. They might hurt her and you might hear over the phone or worse. The thought of hearing Jess get hurt terrifies Eric. Listen, Eric, you won't be alone. Our professional hostage negotiator will be with you in the room. You'll be on speaker. You'll take your cues from him. Can you do that?

If something happens to Jess, Eric wants her to know she's not alone. That he's right there with her. If she can bear what she's going through, he can bear hearing it. Yeah, Dan. I'm ready.

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It's early morning on Thanksgiving 2011. Jessica sits on her foam mattress under her acacia tree. There is a stillness to the remote Somali desert.

A week has come and gone since Abdi threatened to behead her. Now it's one day past his deadline, and she's still here, alive. But she's worried. Today, she's supposed to speak to her family, and she's praying the head of her NGO was able to reach them. In the late morning, Jabril brings over his phone. It's on speaker, already ringing. He holds it out to her, and suddenly, it's on. This is it.

This is Jess. Jess, it's Eric. Are you okay? Jessica lets out a breath of relief. She wants to sob more than anything, but quickly stops herself. She can't get emotional right now. This call could make the difference between surviving or dying. Yes, Eric, I'm okay. I'm fine. She can hear him exhale. Who do I need to talk to, Jess? And suddenly, Jessica is in go mode. ♪

She's got one chance to get things moving again. She turns to one of the kidnappers. Get Abdi. The kidnapper puts his hand on his face like he's cradling a pillow. Jessica raises her voice. I don't care. Get him up. Now. The kidnapper runs to the far end of camp to wake up his boss. At last, this thing is moving. She turns back to the phone. Eric, he's coming. You need to tell him that Mohammed is negotiating for the families.

She sees Abdi coming across the camp. He looks hungover. A caught twig hangs from his mouth like a toothpick.

Eric, Abdi's coming. I love you. Eric's voice breaks. I love you too, Jess. She lowers her voice to a whisper. Listen, Eric, they need to understand. The leader here is not rational. And then Abdi is on her, ripping the phone out of her hands. As he walks away, she can hear Eric's voice through the phone. Mohammed is our designated communicator. Jessica hopes that this is enough to get things moving again.

She hopes that the next time she hears Eric's voice, it will be in person. John Buchanan pulls up to a comfortable home in the leafy Nairobi suburb of Runda. Matt Espenshade has invited him and his family for Thanksgiving dinner. Matt works with the FBI headquarters.

John is grateful for a small kindness like this in the middle of such uncertainty. But more than that, he hopes the agent will share more information about Jessica's whereabouts and if there's a plan to get her out. A Kenyan guard lets them in through the gate. All the homes here have security. Matt is waiting to greet them. And then they settle in at a modest dining room table. John's good at reading people, something he shares with his daughter.

He can tell that Matt is a straight shooter, which is a huge relief. Look, John, I know it feels like a long time, but I assure you, at the FBI, once we are on the case, we never give up. I can't tell you everything, but I can tell you this. There are two potential outcomes here. One is that the negotiation team gets the kidnappers to agree on a ransom amount. Matt gives John and his family a moment to take that in.

The second possible outcome is U.S. military armed rescue. But there are several criteria that need to be met for this to happen. Negotiations have to be stalled for so long, there is no hope of a resolution being reached. But that could go on for months, even years. There are other criteria as well, but the hard truth is that a military rescue is a last resort. John imagines how this experience will affect Jessica if she makes it out.

Will his brave daughter need physical care? Mental care? He glances at Eric's resolute face. Whatever Jessica needs, they'll be there. But first, they need to get her home. Weeks roll by and the kidnappers move Jessica and Paul to another makeshift camp. It looks almost exactly like the last,

Jabril tells Jessica the negotiators have restarted, but by mid-December 2011, the kidnappers seemed no closer to reaching an agreement than they were before Jessica's call with Eric. But she knows things are serious when they bring in the chairman. His name is Bashir. He's a thick man in his 30s with a large bald head. She knows he's the boss by the way he storms around the camp, barking orders into his cell phone.

and roughing up the younger kidnappers. Bashir's eyes have a coldness, but not as cold as the eyes of his sidekick. Jessica isn't even sure of his name. She calls him the henchman. He's big, like Bashir. His clothes are dirty, and he has no teeth. There's a permanent rage in his bloodshot eyes. The only English word he knows is fucking.

He uses it to express anger. And he's angry a lot. One afternoon, the mood is grim. Jessica figures they didn't get the money offer they wanted. And whenever that happens, someone has to pay. Jessica cries as Bahir pushes Paul around the camp at gunpoint. When the henchman hears Jessica's sobs, he grabs his AK-47 and marches over to the mat. He points the gun in her face.

He screams at her to stop crying in Somali. He doesn't know how to say it in English, so he shakes the gun in her face, yelling fucking over and over again. In that moment, something in Jessica snaps. She's so tired of the yelling, the constant threats, the fear. It's one power move after the next, and she's through. Anger shoots out of her eyes.

She holds the henchman's gaze and doesn't blink. Her message is clear. Yell all you want, but you won't break me. I won't let you win. Suddenly, he stops yelling. Then he drops his gun at his side, and then he walks away, leaving her alone. For the first time since this whole thing began, Jessica feels empowered. It's just a small win, but it reminds her of the deep reserve of strength within.

At the end of December, the negotiators convince the kidnappers to let them send in their doctor. The doctor brings much-needed vitamins to Jessica. Before he goes, he gives her two books, The Constant Gardener and Captain Corelli's Mandolin. She devours them in a week and then reads them again. They allow her to escape and restore her sanity and remind her once again of the bigger world she loves so much—

That's when she starts making the plan. She calls it organizing her thoughts. She's going to relive everything in her life that she can remember, starting with the first memory at age four years old. Every day, she picks a different year to contemplate and examine. She pictures each moment, savors every detail.

What did her hair look like? What meals did she have? How did her mother's fried chicken taste? What color was the spatula she used when turning the pan-fried potatoes? She contemplates each moment, examines it like an anthropologist. Why did she do this or that? What did it all mean? And before she knows it, the day has gone. This is work. That's how she likes to think of it. It gives her purpose.

She lets go of grudges and practices forgiveness, especially forgiving herself. If Paul comes over to visit, she tries to keep it short. She needs to get back to work. It's the most awesome experience of her life. And when she catches up to her present, she starts to imagine the future. Her and Eric together in their apartment. She visualizes the details. What color is the rug? Where she puts her shoes?

She sees Eric holding their child, a baby boy. She reaches out to feel his skin. It's soft and smooth. She sees the strength of her husband's arms, smells his clean scent. She moves past hope and into a deep knowing. This is real. There's not a double doubt in her mind. She will get out, go home. This hope sets her free.

One night, as the air is starting to cool, as Jessica drifts off building her world, she's woken by a mysterious buzzing noise in the sky. That's odd. She tries to make out what it is, but after a few minutes, it's gone. She tells herself it's probably just her mind playing tricks on her, but it isn't. Across the desert plains, the machine is awake.

and a plan is forming on how to get her and Paul out. This is the second episode of our three-part series, Kidnapped in the Desert. If you like our show, please give us a five-star rating and a review. If you'd like to learn more about this event, you can read Impossible Odds by Jessica Buchanan and Eric Landelbaum with Anthony Flacco.

I'm your host, Cassie DePeckel. Tamaya Payne wrote this episode. Our consultant is Jessica Buchanan. Davy Gardner is our producer. Our editor is Maura Waltz. Our associate producer is Brian White. Our audio engineer is Sergio Enriquez. Sound design is by Rob Seliga. Our executive producers are Stephanie Jens and Marsha Louis. For Wondery.

Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s**t, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar.

So here's how this show's going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No offense. No offense, Travis Kelsey, but you've got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter.

Is it Brandon Ayuk, Tee Higgins, or Devontae Adams? Plus, on Thursdays, we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday night football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.