The Lure of the Potent Dad Nut
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Okay, welcome back to episode, what are we up to, 74? Yeah, 74, no, I think seven, is this seven? I don't even know. I think it's seven. We recorded, when we first started, we recorded like a lot, a big, huge chunk. And then we had a little bit of a break, but not really. I mean, the viewers don't know, or the listeners. Yeah, we haven't recorded in a good, at least, what, two months?

No, it hasn't been that long. A month and a half maybe? Maybe, yeah. You were gone in Milwaukee for a while. I went to two and a half weeks of Milwaukee time. I am shocked by that. Why did you do that? I lived. Did you love that? I lived.

Tell me, how did you live? Why? Where? In Milwaukee. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The good land. Okay. America's 16th largest city. One of the most epically racially divided cities in the United States. Yeah. Similar to Boston. It's probably very segregated. Very racist. Yes. We talked about it on the Jada podcast when she was here. Oh, that's right. I loved it. I went, I got an Airbnb. I shopped for a house for my mom. Oh, that's right. Oh, you bought the house. I bought that horror house.

I bought the house. She bought the house. My mother is the mother of the house now. By the way, this is like to be like a Midwesterner and you want to impress your mom. You want to whatever. And I'm like, my mom doesn't care about my record. She doesn't care about being a best-selling author. She doesn't watch me on TV really. She doesn't care. But me buying her a house, she's going to gag. Before we went in, I told my realtor, Matt,

Well, it's a drag queen, Chanel Devine. She's a realtor. I said, Chanel Devine, just so you know, you might see some emotions today. You know, my mom, she might cry. You know, I don't think she's owned a house like this probably in a long time. And, you know, my mom, God love her. She lives in a trailer in the country, you know, and this could be waterworks today. And she's, he's like, I know I was talking in the office today that today might be emotional. We walk in, my mom follows me behind me and I'm like, I got you this house. And my mom goes, it looked bigger in the pictures. Yeah.

Not good enough. Did you gag? Did you gag? I just... Well, the great thing about wearing masks the whole time is I can hide my emotions because I looked like that woman from Couples Court, Miss Jackson, but she's like...

You can't... You're not very good at concealing your true feelings. Oh, my God. Did she ever get like a little misty in the eye? No. After the fact, I think she could tell that I was a little disappointed by the response. So then she was like... Oh, no, it's great. Yeah, I love it. She was like, wow, wonderful. I'm so grateful that you did this for me. And you just... I really appreciate it. And it's cool. I mean, it's wonderful. But I was also looking for a place for myself. So I got myself a very small loft in the Milwaukee area too. Just...

Just a casual, you know, my friend's home said, they said, you're so bald. You're buying houses. You're like the monopoly man. Yeah. It's like, well, I, I, I just wanted to pick up another residence on my way back from the coffee. It was like, what the fuck? Well, I was originally looking at a place for myself. And then my mom was like, well, you know, you know, Oh, so I was already looking at condos for myself. Cause I love Milwaukee. And you know, you and I have a lot of projects coming up that we have to sit and do a lot of writing for. That's true. And I'm like, I need my little zhuzh.

That makes sense. But like, why Milwaukee? Well, I know why, because you're from there. I love it. You do. Did they get foliage in the fall? They get the fall foliage. And it's one of the biggest. Is it pretty? It's one of the fastest growing cities in the country. What does that mean? Houses go on sale there and sell in a day. Okay. Because it has five Fortune 500 companies in that area.

Okay. So there's a lot of people moving there. A lot of people making a lot of money there. Everything in Milwaukee, every street is like new businesses every other week. It's just growing so fast. And do you like, are the real estate prices like reasonable or are they, how do they compare to LA? Obviously not as much, but they're a little more reasonable now because of COVID Tom's. I was just talking about this today. Isn't it crazy to think we're going to have to tell children someday that this happened and

I'm going to be like, no, we had masks on for two years. Yeah. And it's, it's doesn't have like the, the kind of, I don't know, the interest of like a bubonic plague. Do you know what I mean? I feel like it's kind of, no, I mean, it's not as like terrifying. It's, I mean, 200 and what, 40,000 people have died. So it's not good. Yeah.

Yeah. But like, it depends what news channel you watch. Honestly. Yeah, that's true. But like, it doesn't have the, um, or like the intrigue or the drama of like, you know, a real good kind of like Spanish flu. I don't know. What were you up to for the two and a half weeks? I was gone. Music videos. That's right. Music videos. Yes. Vampire fitness comes out Friday. Two days from now. I'm a musician. How do you feel about it? I,

I actually feel really good about it. I really like it. It's fucking cool, dude. Yeah, it's like a different... It's a different kind of sensation to release something that I actually really like. No, I mean like...

I'm talking about shit storm. No, like the, in terms of like a solo project, that's a hundred percent like a vanity project. Do you know what I mean? Like nobody commissioned it. Nobody asked for it. I just wanted to do it. But usually when I do something like that, it turns out very sideways. But this is like, I actually am really into it. I'm into it.

Yeah. And I think anybody in our position is making music become comfortable with the fact that you might never see a dollar from it and just be proud of what you're making. Oh, absolutely. If I wanted to make money, I go work at the TJ Maxx. Well, that's a stringent hiring process and they do do a background check. So they're going to find out about Jennifer with the G. It's going to be all over.

Poor Jennifer. She met an end that she did not deserve. Stuffed on the trash, the fucking trash chute. The trash chute. But she was so heavy though. So heavy. You got to get rid of her. What's her winter weight? 24 pounds. That's a poundable pussy. Yeah. 24 pounds of fuck meat or whatever they say. It's so disgusting. So disgusting. I just want someone to talk to me like that though.

I want a guy to talk to me the way that the salespeople talk on sex toys. Oh, my God. I wish I was only 24 pounds of fuckable. Yeah. 24 pounds of poundable pussy action or something. I mean, it's like a it's like a like a car commercial. You know what I mean? It's like four wheel drive. It's so funny. You know what I enjoyed while I was home? Wisconsin has the most wonderful, like locally produced radio ads.

Like Jennifer convertibles or whatever. So like, Oh wow. Come on down to the color box in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin doing half off cotton colors. If you call now, like, wow. Just the most like really talk like that. Yes. A hundred percent. Minnesota and Minneapolis. Wait. So Wisconsin and Minnesota are the same thing to the world. Are they really like, what's the difference? So Minnesota is to the left and just to the right of it is Wisconsin. So they're,

They're side by side. And I'll have you know that Wisconsin turned blue again last week. So that was lovely to be home. I closed on my condo and I spent my first night there and I woke up to the news of Wisconsin being blue. Did you teabag the television screen? I cried. Did you really? I sure did. Oh, good for you. You know, my first time voting was in 2008.

for Obama and I lived in the dorms so voting and having Obama win while you live in the dorms was so exciting because it was all communophilia black men yes and so it was fun and now you better believe I'm going to vote in Wisconsin because I have a residence there

Oh my God. They don't need my gay vote. Can you double dip? You can't. Yeah. Felony. Felony. Yeah. Well, you have, I'll wait. My mom, I said, I will do voter fraud because she didn't vote this year. I said, listen. Okay. Next time I'm coming over to your house, I'm taking that geriatric hand and I'm signing the papers, Mary. You could just like put on a wig, get on that rascal and go down to the little ballot box and say, I am, I am Mrs. Mattel. A hundred. What is her name? Val. Val. Val.

She's Val and she's unimpressed. Val, she not moved to tears by you buying her a dream house. Not at all. I mean, it's fine. It makes perfect sense. It does make sense. I would have been thinking about it. I'm like, what if she would have reacted big? That would have been so inconsistent. Yeah. What would bring her to tears? Like a nice...

A death in the family. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Just something like, I mean like, I mean like tears of like joy. Well, she didn't cry at the house showing. So then I killed one of our, I killed my, I killed my brother. I made her watch. Yeah. I'm going to juice some tears out of that face one way or another. No, but it was cool. It was cool to be able to, you know, not to be gay, but like my aunt, my, my mom, they all can live in a house and they can have an extremely affordable, like, you know, it's like the real world slumlord edition. Yeah.

I, that would be great if you became like, it just like inch by inch, little by little every year, more and more ruthless. You should have seen their faces when I said this has to have a good resale value though. So you can't smoke in the house, bitch. They looked like, why would we live here? We can't smoke in here. To be honest, that's a fair point. I'm going to take their side on that because think about it. Like, I mean, if you're a smoker and you're all in, you know, if you're all in, you don't have any illusions about quitting really in the next five years.

that's kind of how you live your life. Yeah. There was, when we got to drag car in New York and they said, you can't smoke anywhere. I was like, well,

I guess I'm going home. Like, seriously, you know what I mean though? It's like crazy. So I get that. They're going to smoke in the house. And I did, I did finally, I know they cannot. I also look straight at them. And when they, when my mom was like, cause I walked in the day after that way show to the house and I was sitting there and it was like three, two, one. Anyway, mom, remember yesterday when I brought you to the house to look at it and you barely said anything and you said that it looked bigger in pictures. And she goes, what? And I go, I'm going to tell him. She goes, are you, she's like, do you think I'm not, wasn't grateful? I said, I already told everyone.

I said, I've already put it in the next show. Are you kidding me? That was the funniest thing. Yeah, it's 20 minutes of new material. It's so funny. And then she, that bitch just makes me laugh. She's one of those whores who...

She's one of those. My mom hasn't taken great care of herself in her life. And she's one of those people that no matter how many times like the doctor is like, you need to do X, Y, Z. She's like, I'm just trying to party. I just want to party, party, party to my baseball. So the next day I come over, I said, what'd you guys do last night? And she's like, well, your auntie had to sit up with me because we stayed up late and we had some of those drinks. And then I had some spicy sausage and I woke up and I had heartburn and I felt like one of my arms was numb and your aunt had to sit up and watch me.

I said, watch this through a potential heart attack. I'm like, how old is she? She's not old, but in Wisconsin, we're not here for a long time. We're here for a good time. The life expectancy is like what? Like the 1600s over there. Yeah. She's not as a good shape of as Pat.

Past serving. She's going to outlive everybody. Everybody. I want to meet her. She's great. Yeah, she's great. I mean, she's like, you know, the best thing about her is like if you ever go on a walk or like you're on an errand on foot, she leaves you in the dust. Oh, she's hitting it. She hits it and she doesn't look back. Bitch.

Yeah. You just got to keep up or just get, you know, lost in the shuffle. I love that. That's a little bit you though too. Yeah, for sure. Carry me. Yeah. I just like, you know, we'll, we'll arrive as a group and then I'll just cut out. And you know, what happens happens. Do you believe in like a French exit in that sense? I just call it exiting. No, no, seriously. I don't need to speak French. I'll just leave. French, Irish, whatever. Yeah.

That's French people laughing. I mean, think about this. I don't understand like the people, the people who like make a point to say goodbye to everybody in a party on the way home. It's so weird and self-indulgent. Yeah, that seems like the, no,

I'm not rude, but like that seems like the crazier thing to me. I agree. Yeah. Okay. So we're thinking about getting, you know, each one, each one. It's like a whole theatrical production. I'm heading out. Yeah. Like get out. Who cares? Bye. Yeah. I'll go to the door. I'll put one foot in the door. I'll lean back around the corner of the door and go. That's more my vibe. Yeah. We'll be right back.

The Bald and the Beautiful is supported by FX's English Teacher. From Paul Sims, the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows, FX's English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. I did finally get to do something in Wisconsin that was litty. I got to finally hand out Halloween candy at a house. Okay. All right. So I think I saw your tweet about this and you said you were bored of it like five minutes. I was like, this is it. That happens. This is all led up to this.

I wasn't five minutes in. I was yelling in the screen door like you guys tricked me. This sucks. My mom and my aunt having drinks in the kitchen like you got it. I'm like, this is horrible. Did you ever did you dress up now? Did you dress up? No. Oh, see, that's kind of the part of the problem. I wore like a flannel with like an orange beanie. So I was very fall.

But I wasn't like serving a costume. A little cheek stick and a freckle. Auntie Gooch dressed up. What'd she dress up as? Oh, she had this horrifying mask with like a weapon and a black shroud. And when the kids came to the screen door, she like popped out and stared at them. See, that's what you got to do. That keeps it interesting for you. So Auntie Gooch would scare them and just go, I love scared kids. Yeah. I love it. So then I'm sitting there handing out the kids, right, the candy. These kids don't dress up, mama. Oh. These kids are not dressed up. I'm not kidding. Nine out of 10 children.

We're not in a costume. Yeah, we don't do that. I feel like that's something you don't get the candy unless you get the costume. This girl said trick or treat. I said, where's the trick? Yeah. She said, I'm a whore. Or they were rocking up and not saying trick or treat and just sit. They're holding out the bucket and then going, thank you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. So you think this is a Laffy Taffy soup kitchen, you fucking cunt? It's just like a soup kitchen parade.

Just homeless youths. She pissed me off. So you know what I did? I went inside. I heated up some Campbell's tomato soup. I brought it out and I put a ladle into each bag. I said, this is the kind of treat you're going to get. Do you want grits or pea soup, ma'am? I will say I was kind of tearing out the candy based on the costume. If it's babies, I had like gummies. Like, oh, here's this whatever. Like a gummy bear. Oh, sure. Weed gummies. Yeah. Yeah.

Those babies are flying. Toddler, only 50 milligrams for that one. I would love to give a baby an edible. Just see what happens. Oh, absolutely. I think they would love it. I think it would probably be like a good thing.

Well, you know how with marijuana, it's very the craft. How do you enter with perfect love and perfect trust? Babies wouldn't have any preconceived, like, what's going to happen with the weed? No, yeah, it just completely just soaks their consciousness naturally. That baby from Ally McBeal, the dancing baby? Yeah, 50 milligrams. 50 milligrams, 50 cc's of Mary J. Yeah.

Yeah. They're just go from bait, like baby to toddler. They skipped those terrible twos. It was a lot of costumes that were like a Mickey hoodie. I'm like, that is not a costume. That's a piece of clothing. I said, where's the reveals? I want to see lashes. I mean, and I know that, you know, Hey, where's the, give me a ghost. Give me a Dracula. Give me something. Yeah. I don't like that. And also, um, you have to say thank you.

Yeah. And it was, I mean, it was so cute when the kids were sometimes like two and the mom's like, what do you say? And they're like, like trying to say, that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. That is fun. And then sometimes the little ones were confused. There was one little girl who walked up, reached into her bucket and gave me candy and left.

I was like, this is what I'm talking about. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. Oh, that's another thing. Cause if you live in a, it depends on what kind of area you live in, but you could just be like, all right, that'll be a dollar. Yeah. Charge for the candy. You know what I mean? Make some money, turn it into like a, like a for profit kind of like a hundred percent. Yeah. Cause you get 150 trick or treaters.

I'm seeing $300 right there. A hundred percent. Make it a sliding scale. Like if you're dressed good, you get candy. And if you're dressed bad, you owe me money. Or you dress really well. Yeah. I'm going to take a 10 out of you because I know you got it. Dress for the job you want. Now, when you were a kid and you went trick or treating, what was the candy you hoped for? Oh, all time. I didn't really care. I just wanted a lot. Nothing's changed. Nothing. I just wanted so much of it because we did pillowcases. You do pillowcases? Yes.

Oh yeah. We did pillowcases always. Big, long pillowcases. And I'm talking, I'm talking like,

Like a robber? 20 pounds of candy. Like you were coming in to take their silver flatware and their heirloom dishes? Big opening and deep. Big and deep. Yeah. And then you walk around over the shoulder Santa Claus? Abso-fucking-lutely. Yeah. Strong thread count, 250 or whatever. And we just fucking just go until we can't go anymore. And I'm just telling you, 20 pounds of candy. Really? See, I don't even think. 20 pounds. I think people trick-or-treat less. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't even see that many trick-or-treaters. Yeah, it's a dying art. Oh, right, it's a dying art. When I was a kid, trick-or-treating was lit. Absolutely, it was. I went home with more candy than I... I would be like Christmas will come and I'd be like, you gotta throw this candy away. Yep, absolutely. All through November, guaranteed. Yeah. And I think the thing that I miss about that suburb vibe is the hot dads. The hot dads with their little youngsters. Yeah.

Oh, because that's how you know that that nut is potent and that nut works. That seed is going to flower. That nut is going to taste like an old boot because you know that it is chlorophyll DNA. Chlorophyll. I'm not a biologist. This is so gross. I can't believe I'm about to ask this. Do you? Yeah, whatever it is. Absolutely, sis. Absolutely.

- Just ask it. - Do you like, do you swallow cum? - Do I swallow cum? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. - Who doesn't? - Well, I don't know. - Let me just say, I mean, not for everyone. - Yeah, right. Sure, sure. - It has to be the right time. - $10 Calorie costume. - Cum comes into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I mean, because I know that gay men love to, I don't know why I pivoted to this. Oh, yeah, because the potent dad nut. What about trick-or-treating made you think about swallowing nuts? Oh, the potent dad nut, yeah. But I know that it's a very common kind of fetishized, like, you know, put your nut in my butt kind of thing, situation, scenario. Pregnancy. Pregnancy. Knock me up. Knock me up. Knock me up. Knock this pussy up. Breed me. Breed me, mom. Breed me.

All I think about, I just think of dogs. I think of purebred chihuahuas. It's also straight people nut in each other's pussy holes all the time. And they don't say breeding. Are straight girls like breed me? No. Definitely not. Definitely not. I don't think I, what are they saying? Come in my pussy. All I'm saying when I say get this bread, I'm talking about money. I'm talking about cum. Okay. Okay.

It's I still I find it so revolting that expression breeding. I just think of chihuahuas and I like poodles and stuff like that. I do think it's a comment. I know a lot of gay men who there's something about a man with children that elevates the sexuality. The virility of it is very appealing. Kyle, isn't that you? You like guys who have kids. Is it because you the potent the lure of the potent dad nut?

They're competent. They can take care of another being. Oh, it's the responsibility effect. So it's like the opposite of the bad boy complex. A hundred percent. Okay. All right. Well, at your present weight, you're looking very thin by the way. Yeah.

You know that that dad already has a baby Bjorn. Oh yeah. Strap me to the front. Strap me to the front. There was that episode of Veep where that guy, what's his name? Mike adopted an infant from China and she was six years old. He had her like on the little baby Bjorn in the front, like all six years old. Yeah. So what do you infant? What do you think about? Like, I remember I watched a UK documentary about a woman who still breastfed her kid at like 11.

11, 12, 13. I am Bialik. Blossom did that too. What's into that? I, well, it's just different, like different understandings of like the attachment thing during like parenting. I mean, I, I don't know. I don't know. It's a, oh gosh. It's a, I mean, think of it, think of it this way though. How fucked up are humans in general? So like, it's not the worst thing. It's not the, exactly. It could be worse. Although,

I mean, sucking on your mom's titty when you're 13. Well, what about the adult men who want to drink the milk from the titties? Oh, that's completely fine. Because that's just a fetish. So when the woman is pregnant, the men drink the milk from the titty? The grown men? I don't believe that they do. Wait, who? Everything I know about sex, I learned from the movie Precious. I was going to say, I don't know if we have reliable data to base our conclusions on. That's all I know about. Oh, we should take a break. Oh my God, great idea. Yeah.

And we're back. And we're back. Oh, it's nice to be back. Okay. So do you ever get like...

So you're always doing videos for YouTube. Congratulations on 1 million subscribers, by the way. Look at the plaque. Look at the material. Look at the material. It certainly is gold, isn't it? Yeah, it came in the mail twice as big as the silver. Thrilled, excited. You and I are nominated for a Streamy. We are YouTube excellence. Oh, yes, we are. Now, what did we get nominated for this time? We got nominated for Best Show, which is like best picture of YouTube and digital content. Okay. Now, what do you reckon are the...

Like is the likelihood of us getting not high. Okay. Because usually like we've been nominated for best show twice now and best unscripted once. And usually there are, listen, I love us. It really is. They're a megalomaniac. Yeah. A psychopath and a green screen.

Oh, yeah. And they have like full crews and stuff. It's like a full thing. Yeah. I mean, not to disparage what, like, you know, it's just apples and oranges, let's say. A hundred percent. Although, no, it's not. Because, I mean, apples don't get nominated for being oranges. Today, you know what I mean? So I guess it would be what would be like, what would be the film equivalent? Say like... It's Best Picture. Avatar versus... The Help. Honey...

I was the avatar versus like, you know, Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The help. I just pulled up with that. By the way, you know what I, you know how we talk about things we do in the house alone? Yeah. My new thing is, and the nominees are, and then listing movies to my, Lisa Weapon 3. And I'm only doing movies that are a good 15 years old. So I'm like, and the nominees are Memoirs of a Geisha. That's great. Babble. Babble. Babble.

Crash. Crash. Harry Potter 2. My God. So that's my other new. I like that. That's good. Are you doing any new? I have a new rattle. What's my new rattle? I have. Oh, it's more Sanskrit. It's more Sanskrit. But I've had to tone it down because actually I've been approached. No. I've been approached to.

kind of not do it anymore. Like if you've been encouraged, I've been encouraged to stop because for some people, um, for people who are like religious and devout in that part of the world, it can be very Sanskrit is it's a sacred language. Oh,

It's like me saying, you know, Hail Mary with my titties out. I don't know. It's a similar effect. Well, traditionally in religions, they love to say this means this to me. So it has to mean it to everyone. Yeah. So you got to get on the level. I'm like, well, I don't want to get on that level. Also, as if you haven't paid your dues as a yogi. Doesn't even matter. I feel like it doesn't even matter.

Doesn't even matter. I'm going to scream Sanskrit naked in my apartment. A hundred percent. In any way I like to. I was telling Kyle, my house guest, I was like, if you thought I was weird when we lived together, living alone, everything's calcified. Absolutely. I'm Nell.

I'm fucking Nell girl. I am Tay in the wind. I'm titties out. You're Nell and Russell Crowe from that beautiful mind. A hundred percent. Absolutely. Having full conversations. My other favorite one is babe. Like someone's here when no one lives here. Can you turn that down? Yeah. Babe. No one's here.

You don't live with anybody. Do you do, I do call and response too. What is it? Like, you know, just act out a scenario with like, I can't believe you did that. Well, I, you know, like just go back and forth. We've talked about this, you know. You deserve it. You deserve it. Look at your behavior the last three weeks. I can't even believe where you, yeah, just kind of things like that. But revenge fantasies sometimes. And the nominees are revenge fantasies, lethal weapon four,

That's a gig. Whoever gets to be that voice, that's a gig. That is a good gig. What would be your dream? Wait, wait.

So we did a voiceover ish. Like it's not quite ASMR, but on the album, like a guided meditation. I listened to the preview the other day. I, I really enjoy it. I usually, yeah, I love doing it, but I also like, I enjoy listening to it, which is shocking because you know, most people hate the sound of their own voice. And I, it even calms you the beast. Yeah.

You know, it actually makes me a little emotional. Really? Yeah. Talk about that. Why? I think just, I don't know. I think, um, the, the tone of it, or I don't know what it is. I think like ripping out your teeth makes me cry.

And let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you, can I tell you, we filmed a music video for it in virtual for virtual reality. Like it's a 3d kind of whole immersive environment kind of thing. And I spent the whole day with stainless steel pliers in my mouth and fake blood ripping out teeth. I had a whole collection of teeth. Remember the teeth that people send me through the mail. I had them in my mouth.

Had them all in my mouth. I was spitting them out. I was yanking on the pliers, like trying to... It was gnarly. It sounds awful. It's awful. But just the sensation of having cold, hard metal on your molars or on any tooth. Yeah, it's hammer time. Can I say something? I love doing music. Yeah. I hate doing music videos. I was going to ask you because it's... I hate doing music videos. Yeah.

But I can't figure out. It's so much work. It is, but is it better or worse than a TV show? Filming a TV show or filming a movie? Oh, I love doing anything television related. Music videos are so much work. Because it's just so long. And so much money. Well, that, but yeah. But the process is not very enjoyable. Music videos? I don't think it is. Like video games, which is...

Which nice and short turned out beautiful. Even that was a short day. I still was like yellow cloud, which was a big production puppets. Did you do one day? Yeah. One day. Like, where's me out, dude. And I don't know why something, I love making the songs. I love playing them. But when it comes to a video, to me, it's a, it's a means to an end because, you know, I love, I love our managers and they're like, you know, if you want people to hear your music, you got to give them something to look at, which I know makes perfect sense. And then when the music's,

Look at the legs. When the music video's out, I love it. But the process of making it is so hard. But you know what? This is an industry where I constantly battle with things I don't want to do. Yeah. But I think that's any industry. I didn't want to do this today. I don't want to do this right now. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's, it, yeah.

It's such a weird thing because it's like, I agree 100%. I want the video. I love the video. I love the song. Love it. Love that it's there. Love that it's going to be there. But like knowing the night before, like it's tomorrow. I got to be in a wig by 9 a.m. pretending to sing my own music. Like over and over and over. And you know what else it is? When I hear other people's music that inspires me, that makes me want to lip sync,

I get to feel it. And when I made this song, I don't feel it as hard. Yeah. Because other, like a woman's voice and like something fun to lip sync to, it buoys me. Yeah. Let me ask you this because this is, this is something we had, or I had a hard time with. So a male voice in a female presentation, the dissonance between that is, um, you have a male voice. I'm talking hypothetically. Yeah.

I wish I had a female voice like Tatiana. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. She can drop right into that female, like, unclockable audio register. Yeah. You need to do, like, the Felicity Huffman Transamerica tapes.

This is that you can train. Oh, sure. Train it. But I mean, but I'm 38. No, I don't. I think that ship is sales. Yeah. Yeah. And burn down. But like, I'm not even talking about like, that's not the that's not the desire. Even it's like saying, say you get like a nice resonant tone in a male voice. Yes. But then you have this female presentation in drag. Like, do you does that ever like weird you out at all?

Well, I think that out of drag, I have a little bit of a gay voice even when I'm singing. And so in drag, a lot of times people's comments are, I like your voice because it sounds like both. Oh, okay. Because like I have a deep voice, but when I sing, it's a little bit breathy, a little bit gay. Like when I sing video games, to me, I sing it like a woman sings it, even though I have a male voice. And so I think there's somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the middle. All right, that makes sense to me. When I'm not in drag, I don't sing like...

Trixie sings. Wait, say that again? When I'm not in drag, I don't sing the same as like Trixie sings. Okay. Because when I'm in drag, it's a lot more like flirty singing. My tongue is out, rolled down the street. A lot of saliva. Wet mucus. I'm jerking my pussy. I got three fingers shoved up my hole, my front hole, my front butt. Your front...

Let's take a break. Hey, listen, we're standing by. Call in. Yeah, this is episode, I think, seven. Oh, yeah. How about this? Our new podcast. And since we started, we already broke top 10 Apple podcasts. Is that out of all the podcasts? Yes. That's incredible. It was out of all of them. Number one is Michelle Obama. And let me just say this, bitch, you better watch your back. Becoming. Mama, we're coming for you. I'm unbecoming. Yeah.

I mean, that's pretty incredible. But also, I mean, I would say a testament to the rabidness, rabidity of our fans. It doesn't have to do with us being funny, good or smart. No, it's the fans being engaged to such an insane level that they'll just fucking, yeah. And let me just address this. I love that some of the number one comments are, I wish there was video. No, you don't.

Let me tell you. We do two or three, four. How many shows we do with video? I'm on YouTube with a new video at least three times a week. Oh, three times a week. Between Netflix and Trixie Cosmetics. Yeah, you're not hurting for videos. You're not hurting for videos. But that's like, I think I just equate it to the same like sentiment as, oh, I wish this was longer. No, you don't. No, you don't. And also if you want a podcast that you can watch,

That's a video. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a podcast. And we do those too. We do. Yeah. We do them together even. Yeah. But if you guys would ever, maybe we would someday do something where we film us for like a special moment, but just the waist down and new actually that would be really fun. Just legs, just legs, colonoscopy, just legs. And then maybe like a googly eye, you know what I mean? We'll kind of, we can customize the feeder. We'll, we'll talk. I want to wear a Swarovski stone on my piss slit.

No, no, not cry. No, just legs. Oh, PG. You know? Yeah. Sorry. No gluten. Yeah.

Have you had a favorite episode so far of the ones we've done? Just a little check in. I haven't gotten around to listen to them yet. Oh, really? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, I liked, which is my favorite? The Wesley Woods one was really good. The kimchi one made me, Dirty Ted and Stephanie crack. Yeah. Oh, Dirty Ted and Stephanie's probably, yeah. Kimchi was fantastic. Fina was great. Fina had a really soothing voice. Definitely. Like almost like, ugh. Fantastic. And then, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I really like the podcast. I like doing it. I do too. And if you guys would like us to keep doing it, please share, listen, comment, rate, subscribe, tell a friend for some reason on iTunes. If you comment and like it, it just, it goes up the, so the what, when do we start making money? Yeah. Can I get a dollar please? Can I have a dollar? Yeah.

And if you have any guests you want us to have, that would be something I'd be interested in. I know that they do. I know that they do. Please comment like with your, you know, if it's not, if somebody outside of the realm of drag race who, you know, who's like a notable in the beauty or whatever industry, let us know. Yeah. Especially on Twitter, tag this celebrity and tag us and maybe we can link up that way because we've already run out of friends. Yeah. I mean, it's like, yeah, bare bones. We're scraping the bottom of the barrel at this point. All right. Bye. Goodbye.

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