Tammie Brown & Ding-a-Lings in Shampoo Bottles with Trixie and Katya
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Oh, here we are. Welcome back to another riveting episode. Excuse you. I'm just, I was going through. Okay. Were you doing your TikToks? Oh, well, Tammy, you guys, the one, I don't know. Do we intro people? Yes, let's intro. Come on. The dignity. Let's give her the dignity. What do we know about her? Welcome back to another episode of The Bald and Beautiful. Hello. Hi. And we are welcomed with, we are graced with the loving presence of the inimitable, incomparable Miss Tamitha Brown.

She's a visual artist. She's a musician. She's a live performer. High concept drag character. She's an activist. And she's really a queen of the people. An activist. Actor, activist.

Dog mom, mother, and saver of many different species of animals. Hashtag not grooming. Not grooming. Not yet. Hashtag queer icon. Yes. With great skin. Hashtag drag race. Hashtag all stars. Hashtag. Wear your sunglasses. Yes.

Live, laugh, love. People know you from a lot of things, but people probably originally know you from Drag Race, right? Oh, well, of course. Of course. That put us on the map, didn't it? Yes. Mama Ru, thank you. Yes. Yeah. Thank you, Miss Ru. Pound for pound and number for number, iconic...

original iconic moments you are in neck deep in them. - Well, I'm the first one. I don't know why I haven't won a Grammy and I'll say this over and over again. If it takes a village for Hillary Clinton to get a spoken word, well, where's mine? - Thank you. - With over 13 catchphrases to boot.

I would totally listen to like an audio experience from you, just like a calm app. Or I would listen to a Deep House album with just snippets from your, what about that neck on your, what about the line on your neck? Oh, that was originally meant for my sister, Morgan McMichaels, but I kept it, you know, backed up in the stockpile. Where's the Acid House transmix of Teleport Us to Mars? Well, I'll tell you, dysfunctional Virgos. Ah.

You're a Taurus, huh? Yes. You know, we're very compatible. Are we? Very compatible. Sexually? Yes. All kinds of ways. What do you think about that? I think it's fine. I mean, I find... I think it's fine.

I find tourists is very difficult. I was recently saying that in LA, everybody either gets, goes into therapy or gets really into the Zodiac. But here's the thing though, we have to pivot. We've got to pivot because I have now, I'm now, I mean, I don't do the astrology. I do Chinese Zodiac, water dog. What are you? Well, guess what? I'm a monkey and my, my lover, he's a tiger. So it makes us incompatible, but he is a tourist. So I'm going to stick with that one. Okay. But what element of a monkey are you?

I'm a monkey that can ride the bull, let me tell you. Oh, and you, ma'am?

I don't Chinese are like, I don't know. 1989. Let's look it up. I'm probably something really nasty. I'm going to say that. I'm going to say it's a snake snake, but what kind of snake? There's an element. It's wood, fire, metal, water, or something else. I think I'm like a carbon. Oh my God. Normally we have a producer here. Where the fuck is Tracy? Tracy? She's out there. Where's my taco bell? Getting y'all's food. She's getting a taco bell. What do I call it? Chinese what? Chinese Zodiac. And then 1989.

I gotta go look at China and the Zodiac. Oh, well, that's okay. TikTok isn't really from China. Get with the program, bitch. Just look up the year or the day. Just the year. Chinese Zodiac, 1989. The snake. Which one, though? Which one? What kind? Oh, you're 89. Okay. Which one? You help to me. Oh, my God. Oh, show it to me, please, Rachel. Earth snake.

What's wrong with that? Water dog, earth snake. Very compatible. You think? Muddy creatures. Muddy. Yeah, slithering and crawling. Earth snake. I'm scooting my butt on the ground and she's making it a little bit wet. Oh, yeah. I like that. You know what I mean? Are you still doing P-Town in the summers at all? Yes, I'm doing P-Town this summer. You're doing this summer? Yes, I am. Oh, my gosh. We always plug people's projects at the end, but I think we should tell people in the beginning.

And also tell us what can people reasonably expect at a Tammy Brown experience in P-Town? Well, this is a musical comedy concert. Let's get that straight. Okay, let's get that straight. Long time technology. Yes, I'm a comedian because this comes out of me so naturally. Right. I'm not trying to be funny. I'm just funny. Okay. Like I said on that wonderful show we were all on, Launched Into Stardom and Fame and Glory, RuPaul's Drag Race is...

You know, I just stand there. Well, there's a lot of them, right? Right. Oh, my God. I just stand there and people laugh. But we're going to be doing Jubilee, which is celebrating the 25 years of the name Tammy. So Jubilee. So it'll be a bit of a retrospect with some new stories and then all music and two new songs included. A remix of Shakabuku You, which is from the album Popcorn. Get it. Put some butter on it.

And then, which is done, Shakabukuyu, which is done by Markaholic, remixed it for me. Love him. Love Markaholic. He's good, right? Yeah, he's great. And then I want to do, then I'm doing Ginger, what, Gingerbread House. I'm thinking about the music I made with Markaholic. I love Gingerbread House. But,

Then I'm doing Vengabus. It's called the Vengabus. We like to party. I did a remix of that, a cover remix. So that's exciting. That opens the show. And then we'll be taking some from the other albums and some experiences I had mixed in there. And then we're going to be bringing Jubilee to Long Beach, California, like we did the 20-year anniversary. I remember.

Yeah, of course. I'll send you an invitation. Yeah. Avid Winker, which I love. I went to the 20 year, it was 20 years of Tammy at the Long Beach Hamburger Mary's. You're in the video, you know.

No song. No, no, no. She didn't sign a contract. So we can, you know, if you want us to bleep you, blur you out, we can do that. I'm honored. I just hope I look hot. But I came to see you at the 20 years of Tammy. Kelly was there and she was doing her character from the Browns. That's right. Sheila. Hello. She's doing Sheila. And somebody said, it was so crazy. Somebody said, where's Kelly Mantle? And she was hosting and she goes, Kelly Mantle's on a work the world tour in Warsaw, Poland. Oh,

Warsaw, Poland. And the audience was like, okay, perfect. That was such a fun night. I was there with, and this is so crazy, I was there with a group of people and David was like, the group we were with, David was like,

What was with them? I was like, oh, they seemed happy, that couple. And Dave was like, I don't know. They seemed like they were. Are you kidding me? They seemed like they were fighting all night. I was like, you're so crazy. No, they weren't. They broke up like two weeks later. Love it. Really? These were your friends? Yeah, that's how little I guess I pay attention to people's interpersonal dynamics. She's a little spectrum mobile. That's okay. Well, you know, you're always getting all those hugs and people are throwing that energy on you. Well, God doesn't give with both hands. That's true. And I have these huge tits in this back cup.

Well, do you believe that Jesus, I mean, that God even exists? Do you? I don't believe in God. I don't either. And I'd rather go to hell because at least I know I can reign there. And you can pick any vice or any pleasure. I know, like,

Are we sucking? If there's a heaven, are we like sucking cock there? What are you doing in heaven? You're cleaning the Lord's house. Exactly. Besides you don't have a body anyways. Admin, a clerk filing, filing papers. You don't have a body. You don't have a dick. You don't have a body. You have a rope. You have a rope. You know what though? I feel like you have a robe and it's a long robe and it's three kids like on each other's shoulders underneath it. Really? That's grooming. And it's like a transparent chenille. You think that you would be having sex in heaven? No. That's what I'm asking. There's no genitals. Huh?

No genitals. But isn't some religion. Well, this one here. Talking about the ding-a-lings all the time. Ding-a-lings and breasts. Chicks and dicks, you know? That's my experience. Don't be insulted. That's my experience. It's also mine. It's very much my experience. Well, you know about this famous story. Hot female cock. Sorry. We're sorry.

We were Sheenus, by the way. Sheenus. Sheenus. I got that from her. Sheenus. We were in Australia and we were getting immigration. She cock. And, you know, we talk about how we're scared to tell people what we do. Oh, this is the best one. And Tammy says, I'm a top shelf transvestite. Top shelf transvestite. And then you say top shelf transvestite. And they just stamped your passport and they're like, as you were a man. Yeah, good.

Because you kind of, on that trip, you were wearing some of your, your boy's clothes and your girl's clothes kind of intermix. Yes. So you were in like a fun scarf and a jacket. And I think they were like, they, them, you know, they're, they're so scared at immigration of misgendering us. And they're such bruisers a lot of times, you know, get up there trying to bruise us down. Yeah. They do really try to confront. I said one time, I said, I dress like a woman and I act a fool.

I think that's also honest. Yeah. I mean, it's literally what I do. I feel like they try to...

I try to intimidate you. Kind of. They try to gaslight you. I'm not doing anything wrong. And what the hell with this TSA business? Mama, you don't have, we don't have that. Oh, thanks 9-11. I think that was, have you read any of those books by that politician? The one that was the wrestler, Jesse Ventura? No. R.J. Simpson? No, not, he's dead. And that glove didn't fit. He's up there twerking with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. That was an Isotona glove. Oh, so that's why it wouldn't fit?

They're saying it was a nice atonement. I went and read the label once. I know so little about that trial, but every time I put on a tie, I was a little too young for it. I remember the white bronco in the news, that's it. But every time I put on a glove and my manhand doesn't fit in a woman's glove, I think of that. At first, you don't. What is it? If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. I think every trial should have, like the Gwyneth trial should have had like a fun. Yes. Well, I lost a whole half a day of skiing. But I mean, it should have like a limerick vibe.

I know, I know, I know. I wish that she would have just got thrown to jail. Like, I know shit. If the first year you don't ski, you must go pee. Run into me. You must go pee. In my mouth. What happened? Because she bumped into that guy on his sleigh? Sled or something? No, the guy bumped into his sleigh. She bumped into him or something. Or they collided and then he was ambulance chasing.

He was trying to really just. Oh, is that what happened? Yes. He was trying to, he was claiming that like, that their collision cost him like millions of dollars and whatever, whatever. And, and then, um, but just riveting when, um, when, uh, she was, uh, on the stand and that woman was trying to befriend her, try to like, and then trying to get her and she wouldn't be God. Mm.

That bony bitch makes me sick. She's like giving the medication away and all that stuff. Just like Oprah. We're watching you. Oh my God. Ozempic? Ozempic? Ozempic? But what? I feel like the joke is that everyone's on it, but the truth is they are.

Yes. Everyone. How about Melissa McCarthy's Instagram? With Barbara? Barbara. Honey. Did you see that, Tammy? So Melissa McCarthy posts a wonderful picture with a man friend on Instagram. Underneath, Barbara Streisand comments, give my regards to him. Did you take Ozempic? I think Barbara must think it's like a DM.

Well, I don't think it's a private message. I don't know. I don't know. I would say that that is not true because she is Barbara Streisand. No, Barbara Streisand, who is a famous cunt. Yeah. Famously. No, Barbara is the one David loves.

Yeah. Barbara Stanwyck. And my friend whom I just had a breakfast with was wearing a Barbara Stanwyck shirt this morning and has a Barbara Stanwyck tattoo. Oh my goodness. My reputation. Double indemnity. Oh, that's a good one. Right up the street from my old house. Yeah. Yeah. The house. See? TMC, Turner Classic Movies. Let's get a job with them. David's been watching that shit. He's been watching live TV. TCM. Oh, he watches. They're a value channel. They're a really good channel. What is that? Value that they're...

The information's good. It's good material. It's real. TCM, you can't go wrong. No, no. They were saying it was an infomercial about TCM. Self-indulgent. Oh, God. Who said that? They were saying when TCM started, they were like, what if we switch it up by showing movies that we think are so good that they've kind of been forgotten? But they're classic movies, like Arsenic and Old Lace. Well, I saw Night of the Iguana on there. You did? Eva Gardner.

I love Ava Gardner. Have you ever seen Showboat? I haven't seen Showboat yet. Oh, there's a part where she sings, can't help loving this man of mine. It's not her voice, but it's all these close-ups of her face. Her face is really not to be fucked with. David's also been watching Elizabeth Taylor movies. Nice. My God. The waist, the pointy titties. There's a part where we watch this movie where at the end she goes...

God, what did she say? It's like, you know, for them, kissing on the mouth is straight porn in a movie back then. Two beds, baby. Two beds. Thank you, Lucy and Desi. That's where we're going shortly with this country and everything. Well, yes, we should. They're this close. And the guy says like,

I wish I could begin to tell you. Cause they all talk like that. I wish I could begin to tell you what you mean to me. And she goes, tell mama. And that's like a DP. Tell mama all. And that's the last part of the movie. That's DP. Yeah. That's like, that's like two dicks up your butthole. Did you see suddenly last summer? Suddenly last summer. No. That's the one where, who was in that movie? Was there a DP in that one? She's in there. Elizabeth Taylor. And the one that she shakes like this.

What about the one where it says, you're all flops? Oh, yeah. You're all flops. I think it's Virginia Woolf, isn't it? Virginia Woolf. Flops. And then there's a cat on a tin roof. Cat on a hot tin roof. Paul Newman. Oh, I like him. I want to be the Paul Newman of drag. That's my thing. He made salad dressings. I make jalapeño.

Well, you're practically becoming that. We'll do it together. She's got a good ranch. I can't eat dairy. Okay. You can't eat dairy? No. She can't. She's on a gluten-free, fun-free, dairy-free lifestyle. So no sweet cream icing on your cake this year? No, nothing. I can't even eat cake because it's made with butter and shit. What are you doing? Girl, I just breathe. She's starving to death. She's wasting away before our very eyes.

Last two dates ago, I said, you know what? I don't drink anymore, but now that I can't have any fun food, I'm going to have a glass of wine. I was like, you know what? I deserve this. I'm a busy mom. She was cursed by a Hungarian gypsy. What happened? I had a glass of wine. The loveful of hangover had the next day. Really? The trainer came over and I had to exercise outside and I almost threw up. Well, you must have an allergy. Maybe it's just sick to stick to agave or something more native to the lands. Well,

No, but a lot of Native American people, alcohol doesn't agree with them either. Well, it's a problem. That's a thing. That's what I'm getting at. Hello, Ojibwe. Thank you. Clock the tea, honey. Clock it. But I just wish I could. I don't think I'm going to go back to... Do you smoke weed, Tammy? I smoke all the time. Highly functioning. Yes, I do. I like it. I have a hard time...

I think I'm high functioning. The next day I'm like, I don't remember going to bed. Maybe it's not for you. Maybe you should do the CBD if that calms you down or something like that. For me, the secret is like less is more. Do like the little one puff and then go about your day. You stand there and smoke. You're going to like truly. What about a gummy?

I don't like the hangover. From a gummy? From the edibles. Really? Let me tell you, darling. There I was the next day with a hangover. I only used it for holidays. Really? You know what gives me a little bit of a hangover too? Crack. No. I can just use it. I'm good on that. Heroin? Yeah, meth. Well, I'm not going to get hungover because I don't stop.

Really? Oh, yeah. What about Adderall? Yeah, P&P. Adderall works, but then you got to crush it up. Show up my butt. Cocoa puff.

Oh yeah, I'll sprinkle it on cereal. Yeah, Chase the Dragon. I love to smoke a little bit of the weed and then go for, this is my new thing, do a little puff of weed and go for a walk. Nice. You know what you're doing. She is bad. It's all about environment and then you really got to block out bad thoughts. Oh, you always have to be in control of that. You have to be in control of bad thoughts. Benadrysrin? Benadrysrin. Okay, I don't know about that. Mind control. Mind control. Because either you start thinking about everything bad you've ever done. Mm-hmm.

Or you can kind of maneuver it mentally to go, you know what? This house could burn down and living is just living and we're going to be okay. That's the time you take a little mental note, save that thought for later and masturbate. Bam. Let's take a break. Stroke it up.

The Bald and the Beautiful is supported by FX's English Teacher. From Paul Sims, the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows, FX's English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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How did you learn to masturbate? Did you teach yourself or did you learn in the streets? Correspondence course. I learned on my own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Drag queens are self-teachers, I think. I think any young child is. Sometimes you might use the dove soap or the ivory soap or some soap and it gives you a stingy dingy dingy lingy. You ever put a shampoo bottle up your ass? No, but I knew a fella who could put his ding-a-ling in a shampoo bottle.

Guilty. You too. Tiny penis. Look at you. Good. Good to know. Yeah. I have one of those penises where if I even wash it too much with like a fragrance soap, it hurts my pee hole. You're sensitive in many ways. In many ways. Very sensitive. Do you like perfumes? Love. Love.

How do you feel about this? I hate it here. I hate when she and I say the same thing. We don't just say the same thing, Tammy. We say it at the same time in the same tone with the same intention. Because y'all are unison. You're unison. It's so sick. It's also just like, be original, boop. Period.

You're in rhythm, baby. That's why y'all are always together. Can't shake each other loose. Up and down, in and out. How many years have y'all been together already? 16 strong. 16? Absolutely, yeah. But that's how I feel about you, Tammy, too. There's some people you just click with and just move on. Oh, my God. I had Jada Essence Hall on the pit stop, and she said, Trixie, you and I should do a show where we go to towns and do

do drag and like help people. I said, Jada, that literally is worth it. And she was like, oh, right.

I was like, girl. Yeah. Tammy, she's like us because you know why we work together so well, Tammy? We both are never late and neither are you. I'll tell you what I want to do. I should have been 2.30 today. I want to come back on your Netflix if you do the Netflix again or whenever you're doing that. I want to come back. Sign me up for two shows, please. I like the check. It was fun, right? Yeah, it was fun and easy and I know you can't recommend shows but I am watching a Netflix show. It's Siempre Reinas with Lucia Mendes and Dulce and...

And some other... What did you and I watch? We watched Griselda? No, I wish. I know all about her as well. Oh, that was a good one. Now, let me ask you something. Why would they put Sofia Vergara with that nose? Which nose? You should see Lucy Amanda's face and her perfume smells good, though. Full of pheromones. Oh.

You're a perfume gal in drag. I like perfume in and out of drag, my midnight rider. I would hope that every drag queen is a perfume queen. No, there's a lot of people that are not into perfumes. Are you out of your mind? They say, I smell, huh? They're not even deodorant queens, these people. Oh, well, I understand that. No, I'm not talking about stinky dinky. I'm talking about people that are like, oh, you smell like a department store. Ew, you smell like chemicals. There's a whole movement out there. What? What?

What? Yes, of people that are not into perfumes and colognes. But I'll tell you what, my baby, my midnight rider, he tells me, Tommy, you smell so good. Are you guys dating? Oh, yeah.

You and this person. Well, Midnight Rides. Yeah, we have a good time. Does he like you in drag? He likes me either way. I'm fluid that way, you know. I'm a conduit. Always have been, to be honest with you. That's why growing up, my father would try to push this. I can't apply that. I wish I could, but you know, not legal, right? I think it's okay. You can crown me.

Yeah. Me, a white-skinned person who... My family used to go to the reservation to pick up cigarettes because they were cheaper, which is the most white trash thing you could do. You're Ojibwe, so you're allowed to. Come on. Yeah. You know, I used to feel bad about it, and then I was like, well, this is a...

rich history of raping and pillaging. And so when it comes to like blood quantums, it's like, but I'm going to tell you what, if the big one hits, you go to the reservation. I mean, that's why I'm hanging out with my friend, Danny. I said, you know, take me to the DNA station, the name reservation, because when the big one hits, they can't mess with that. Thank you. I did always ask my mom, like, you know, cause we lived very, very, very poor. I was always like, why don't,

don't we live on the reservation? Cause I knew my mom could get housing and stuff. And my mom was just not into that. She was like, uh, she, she just, we were not a family that like loved, uh,

the idea of going back to live on the reservation. My mom was really into not living on the reservation. Do you make reservations at restaurants? I use Open Table. Okay. I make a reso. When I go to the rails in Hollywood, they know exactly who I am and they know exactly what table to put me in. What is that? A reso, some restaurant? Do you love Italian food? I love Italian food. Have you been to Il Cielo? Not yet. The Sky? Yeah. But I have been to Rome, I tell you. The bread and butter in Rome. What notes do you like in your perfumes and smells?

Well, I do like... You like woody scents? I like Eros, Versace smells. I like... Oh, that's nice. Dylan Blue. Mm-hmm.

You like a fresh. I like the fresh one. I like a CK1 always. Fresh. Very fresh. Kind of athletic. Then I like, what else do I like? White Diamonds, Elizabeth Adams. You know, I thought Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds. But it's too strong for that one. White Diamonds, Red Door, Red Bottoms, Brown Ass. I like Roses. Pink Friday. They've called me the Bulgarian Rose. Pink Friday as in your hiney. Pink Friday. What about Shit Ass? What about Baseball Glove?

Baseball glove? I want to bat you. Is that a Red Sox fisting reference? I don't know. I just decided to throw it out there because I have heard about Shaquille O'Neal or somebody was designing a perfume and they put...

The glove in there. Did you say Chiquil? Chiquil O'Neal. That's his name, right? Well, of course I said Chiquil O'Neal. I'm in with pop culture. You know why I used to like the San Antonio Spurs? Because David Letterman used to have that Dennis Rodman on there. Oh, totally. And I'd be like, oh, I'm going to get some of those tickets because I'd give them away for take the kids up there to see that sports game over there. And I said, I'm going to get me some tickets to see Dennis Rodman. Oh, yeah. He's a DJ, Chiquil O'Neal.

Now? Yeah, he DJs now. Wouldn't you love to see his eight foot tall ass like, I love. Now, do you love basketball? What's your favorite sport? You know what? I think that figure skating is lovely. It is, isn't it? It is. I follow Nathan Chen. I think he's like a multi-gold medalist. He's an amazing figure skater.

I love, it's so corny, but when people can figure skate and you're swiping on your little social media, whenever the skaters come up, I watch the whole fucking thing. It's just hypnotizing. It's beautiful. Adam Rippon actually got me tickets to go see one of their exhibitions. And I was like, oh, that's so nice. I went all, drove all the way to Anaheim and he got me the back,

absolute top row and we I almost had vertigo fell down what's up with him you know Adam are you listening to us yeah I got a bone to pick with you because also you you you flaked out on me because you were messaging me before and now you're not anymore oh so Adam Rippon is excommunicated from the friend no no let's not bully anybody I mean he's cute and he likes me just like the two of you I know I like him too when we release our home goods with Target don't check your mailbox bitch

Okay. Okay. Yeah. I stopped payment on all those checks too. Cause there's nothing in there for you, but coal. There you go. Do you like interior design? Oh, I love interior design. I think you would be great at it, huh? Over fashion. Oh God. Fashion magazines bore me. They're so superficial and abysmal. Yeah. Yeah. But I do have fashion and style. Y'all know that. Of course you sure do. Effortless. Look at the, look at the material.

How did you develop your style in drag? How did I develop my style in drag? Naturally. Yours is actually cool. And so I normally don't ask drag queens that because I'm like, oh, you got it from watching Drag Race. I know, they're leotards and such. Yeah. Souped up clothes, horses. How did you come up with your thing? It's like a mismatch of like...

Repurpose clothing sometimes. Because a lot of times it's vintage pieces mixed with like costume pieces. It's, what is it? It's eclectic. Eclectic. It's also natural, like a flower garden. Yeah. That's the best way to put it. Because when you look at nature and all the flowers, they're all different colors put together. Yeah. Yeah.

And you fuck with scarves. You love a scarf. I do. You know, scarves come in handy. You can use those to put your wigs, wrap your wigs in. That's how I learned that was from Tina Turner. Some vintage clips on VH1 was how they wrapped the wigs. There was this little clip on VH1 and show it. There's a

little black and white clip back in the day, how she wrapped the wig in a scarf and then put it in the bag. Well, I applied that to my drag way on in high school, you know, but scarves come in super handy. Use them to cover things around your neck. People jerk off with the silk scarves. Autoerotic asphyxiation. Oh, not joking. Okay. There was a celebrity. They jerk it off like that. They also jerk off with furs. People jerk off with rabbit furs. That's sensual. Like,

Now do they lube it up and get it all wet? Conan the Barbarian. Conan the Barbarian. And there's also a prolactic, a condom that is a sheepskin or lambskin, whatever, lamb sheep. Hey, that's the way to go. Get off your prep and put on a rubber, bitch. Just kidding, but true. To that point, I would like to just float away.

the idea that maybe we should revisit in this country, condom wearing. And you know, which is the number one best-selling? It's true. Well, the best-selling condom in Mexico. Which? You want to know? At all Latin America. Jalapeno. Jalapeno. That's a spicy one. Or what about Rough Rider, huh? Sure. Rough Skin. No, it's not Magnum. What is it? I would like to be sponsored by Magnum here in the United States because we have a condom reference in my show Jubilee. Jubilee in P-Town. All over. Yeah.

You're coming to LA. Yeah, I'm in LA on the 16th and then Palm Springs on the 10th. Okay. So it's called Prudence Condoms is the number one selling condom in all of Latin America. Oh, now why is that? They even have a coffee flavor one. Sabor de cafe. Sabor de cafe. That will wake you up. I get it. The

The best part of waking up is a big Latin cock in your mouth. It's a big Latin cocky flipper cock. Or, you know, what if you like a little peaty weedy? Oh, there you go. A what? A little peaty weedy. You know, like a little bird or something. A what? Little bird, come land upon my windowsill. I know what you're talking about. Help me through the pouring rain. Some guy said that. So, you know, I like that size. It's comfortable. Oh, teeny weenies. Not teeny weenies, but weenie teenies. Weenie teenies, of course. What's too big? What's too big? Like a broomstick.

Ha ha ha!

I do think we need to bring back condoms, and I think we do need to bring back small dicks. Well, small dicks have always been in. Well, Alaska, she said that, what was that term she said? Small dicks matter. They do. They do. I'm not making fun of anybody with a small dick. Not at all. A micro penis. You can't even see mine. It's an elevator button. Really? But you know what I notice? And David watches like the Housewives and stuff. That's a lift. Yes. The women on TV will have very candid discussions on camera about

about how they hate small dicks. Yeah. Now that is the small dick shame pipeline. I don't like it. The small dick shame to serial killer pipeline is deep and vicious. Serial killers? Yeah, they've been shamed publicly by housewives on TV for having small dicks that go straight to serial killing. Oh, they do? Yeah. Well, then you know what? Ed Kemper is my favorite.

The co-ed killer. The co-ed killer. Those are not two ice cream cones. Killing sorority girls? First started with his grandfather. Oh. Grandmother. Okay. Into the grandfather on accident, you know, circumstance. I just, I'm back on the dick. Okay. I just feel like we have, we're in a world now where you can't critique someone's weight, height, like anything. Uh-huh. But with dicks, when somebody has a small dick, it does seem to be completely fine cannon fodder. And I do think that's kind of fucked up.

fucked up. And it's a problem. As long as you don't like have hair on the tip of it or something. Like on a witch's tit, you know? Hair on a witch's tit. Or like on Gary Oldman's hands in Dracula. Disgusting. Oh, God. Hairy palms. Big, like long, gray hairs. I prefer to be a vampire. Not a vampire. I can't stand vampires sucking out my youth. I prefer to be a werewolf. Werewolf. Or a zombie. Mm-hmm.

Fuck zombies too. Nasty Jesus would be a zombie if he came back. Happy Easter, everyone. Happy Easter. Now, what do you think Jesus' penis looked like? I don't care what his penis looked like because he had 12 apostles and I'm sure they were swinging and dinging on it and I don't know what Mary Magdalene was doing. Last supper, there were no food. It was all like, more like Mary Fagdalene. What about those girls that go on Grindr for friendships, right? She could have been one of those. Oh,

Michelle massages on Grindr. Is she? I think she told me once that she's the only woman they allow. She just looked past. She enjoys the compliments, I'm sure. I think she's just there to say hey to the folks. What a hag.

Shut up. She's a dysfunctional Virgo, but you know. Thank you. You can quote that. I said that. I'm a Virgo as well. Is that a problem? You're a Virgo? Yeah. Have you had your tits removed? That's why we're all so close. Yeah. I mean, we're three pigs in a pile or whatever. So what's your birthday? August 23rd. August 23rd. Look at that. My grandmother was a Virgo and my other grandfather was a Virgo. Oh, really? Texas, huh? Yeah. 9-4-81. Really? Mm-hmm.

The Muppets. The Muppets are all Virgos. All of them. Jim Henson, huge Virgo. Oh, so he made all of this little Virgos. Nasty and Virgo. Tammy, do you prefer tall men or short men?

I prefer whatever my heart desires. And I know it's a sign when I get, me estoy empapando. That means I'm getting wet. Letting out my seed. When a man says I'm getting wet, it's like either it's pre-com or you had some illustra and you have some anal leakage perhaps. Remind me for our little, our one-on-one episode to talk about moisture from the weenie hole. Juicy hiney? Oh!

Oh, Tamitha. Stinking and dinking or some- Shit ass. Or some funking on the bunking. What about shit ass? You know? What about shit ass? Can I ask you about Mexico? What about it? Yes, please. When I went to Puerto Vallarta for Peaches Christ's birthday. Yeah. Peaches Christ's wedding. Wedding. Her wedding. And Tamale's tours. Posters of Tammy all over town. No, get out of here. The toast at PV. Oh, my God. Oh, thank you. Well, guess what? So at the summer camp I was just at, one of the girls-

What, Camp Wanna Kiki? Exactly that one. It was gay conversion camp. No, it's Camp Wanna Kiki, but they won't let them kiki. Yeah, yeah. What happened, really? It was Camp Wanna P&P, but not yet. Oh, gosh. No, but there was a girl, a lovely woman who's like admitted for a day and then she bounced because she hated it. And she was like, I used to do drag in San Francisco, you know, peaches, heckling it. Well, she did. Yeah, she is dead. So funny, so funny. She said that like drag killed her. She's like, heckling it. Well, heckling it did. I was like,

I mean, it was just the one year anniversary. Should a bus driver wig pull down her eyebrows? It was cunty. So this was the Camp Wanakiki? The Camp Wanakiki, yeah. How sweet. Was the one guy there? He was there, Doug. Eddie Danger? No Eddie Danger? No, Eddie Danger wasn't there. Oh, God, he's my favorite ranger. Oh, I know him. And I would like to have him over and do an illustration of his ding-a-ling. Really? Are you thinking of Camp Wanakiki the drag show? Yeah. She's talking about rehab. Oh, yeah.

Really? That's okay. Why was that summer camp? No, yeah. Oh, well, that's okay. Yeah. How was it? Horrible. Really? Yeah. I've done some poppers. Have you? I had a good time.

And I think rehab and poppers are a lot alike. Well, they had poppers in every bunk bed. Do you like poppers? I don't get it. I just did it at the table with my Moppet house friends there in P-Town, and I am sponsored by the Crown and Anchor. Shout out to Crown and Anchor, and I will be at the Red Room. The Crown and the Anchor. Crown and the Anchor. Do you know Ryan Landry? Yes. Dang.

Back to the paupers. Well, I know a lot of people, but I haven't met Oprah yet. Oh, really? Well, she's really shilling that ozempic. I find it interesting that Oprah, the billionaire mogul, has had such an ongoing journey and struggle maintaining a desirable weight. Well, life is cruel, isn't it? I guess so. And then you die. Boom. It's hard. Let's take a break.

Hello, I'm Heather McDonald, stand-up comic and pop culture expert and the host of my podcast, Juicy Scoop. If you're obsessed with Hollywood romances, reality TV drama on and off camera, and celebrity gossip, this is the show for you. In each episode, I dive into the juiciest, most salacious, and

controversial pop culture stories of the moment. And I give my opinion in the most comedic way. It's based on my own Hollywood experiences working on television shows and of course my own experiences with the actual stars themselves. You're also going to hear from a range of guests from actors to comedians

to comics to reality stars like Countess Luann from New York Housewives or Jax Taylor from Vanderpump Rules and now The Valley. So if you want the scoop on the hottest gossip, you've come to the right place. Tune into Juicy Scoop wherever you get your podcasts. You'll thank me later. It's hard to lose weight. There's got to be harder. Is it? Yes. Why do you think so many people struggle with it?

Well, just, you know what? Be fluffy. Enjoy your life. Just don't have diabetes. Thank you. My mom lost like 50 pounds. She called me the other day. Good for her. I don't want to tell her business. She was definitely in the upper 200s. She's in the very lower 200s. Well, I have a friend. They went down and got themselves a trainer and have lost a lot of weight. Wow. I looked at them the other day and I said, well, you sure are looking good. And they said, well, thank you, Tammy. I have a trainer.

That's why I'm getting one this summer again. Good for you. You are huge. And I'm going to be working on the abs and I'm going to be working on my hiney. So there's more cushion for the pushing. Oh, so you're trying to bulk up. Just work on my hiney. Right. Because we end up sitting on our hiney so much and then you get those spots down there, whatever you get from. Shit ass. Right. No, not excrement or fecal material left over. Yeah.

You show your, you show a lot of your real body in drag. Like that's when it's a gorgeous. When you take me home, that's what you're going to get. And that's what I want them to get. You know what I mean? No, no Joanne furniture, a Kutra mom. You know, if that, that tickles your fancy, if that rocks the world, let them have it. But not for me. Same with that pageant jewelry. Oh, well,

You seem like a healthy eater. Aren't you vegetarian? Well, I would be vegetarian, but it's damn hard on the road. That's tea. I tried. Especially in England, that horrible cuisine. Well, I will tell you, though, England does have the homemade veggie patties. Ugh. And I've had some good ones over there, let me tell you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ooh-wah, ooh-wah, ooh-ah-ah. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Are we talking about fucking British guys? No. But I was going to lean myself or yield myself to this one fella that was into the leather fisting community. Oh, my God. And he was gorgeous in the face. And I thought to myself, well, okay, we'll get this in there. I know. Yeah.

Come baby come. I don't want to look at it. I would just turn my... But they all want to be fisted, Tammy. Really? They all want to be fisted. All of them. Everyone. Well, whatever floats their boat. I don't know what to say about it. You know, if that's what you want to do...

Good on you. I hope you can afford a surgeon. No, no, no, no, no. I hope you can afford a huge drop shipment of Depends adult diapers. Oh, God. We had this one guy. He was living at our house and poor thing. He was on Depends. Uh-huh. At the ripe old age of, I'm sure, 40. No. Well, he was an alcoholic and squirted it all out. Oh, God.

There's this great bunny joke. You know Bunny, who I've been copying for 15 years. She said, what does it taste like to eat out an old lesbian? Depends. Oh.

Very nice. How do you get a gay guy to fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt. Horrible. Stinky pussy. Isn't that horrible? That'd be called stinky pussy. What do you love about doing P-Town? What do I love about P-Town? The Bulgarians. The Bulgarians. They ship them in, those Eastern Europeans. That's all I want is Bulgarians. That's why I go there. I mean, you know, P-Town is... They're always very nice to the drag

queens. Is it distinctly, specifically Bulgarian or do they also do, because I feel like they do Ukrainian. Oh, there's Jamaicans. Oh. But they're rather boring. Oh, really? They're making money. And the Turkish, let me talk about them. It's seasonal. Yeah, they're making money. They're building their English skills. And, you know, it's the drag queens who work in the theaters. A lot of the servers and barters are Bulgarians. So we're like this. I'm sure they're getting their cocks sucked up.

At the dick dark. Suck in their... No, I don't know any dick... I know that they get jealous, though, that certain ones are more attracted to me or more into me than others, and they get rather jealous, and they'll say things that so-and-so's down there doing that when they're not, or they get mad. Tell me, what are you doing sucking his dick? And I'm all, oh, well, we're just out riding together. That's...

Why do you care so much? I have the opposite experience. I get in those pedicabs with no panties on like, can I get a ride? They're like pedaling looking like goodbye. I'm like, how much is it? They're like, just get out. Oh my gosh. Well, their rates have gone up. It's $40 a ride. I used to get ready at home and then every day at a show, I had a standing appointment with one of the pedicab people. Just come get me because they take me to the show. Yes.

They are expensive now. Yes, they are. They should make money. Well, of course. But they treat them like third-class citizens. That's for sure. Really? Put them in small little houses. In P-Town, the different people who, I don't know what you call it, people who come to work for the season. Seasonal employees. From other countries. Yeah, yeah. Foreign exchange students. They stack them in fucking bunk beds. In tenement housing. Yeah. Then again. And the prices are going up. Excuse me. P-Town is prohibitively expensive. And all the housing sucks in P-Town. Yeah.

It's crazy, but thank you for the sponsorship from the Crown and Anchor, first of all. Thank you, Crown, and thank you, Anchor. Yeah, they put me up. They've been putting me up. That's amazing. Are you living in a bunk bed above three Estonian men? I'm living in the Moppet house. Oh.

So don't miss Moppet? Huh? There's 16 of us in there. Eight of us were artists. I really miss doing B-Town. You do? Well, then come on and hang out. Come on. Why don't you do something? She'll never do it again. Every time I do it, I feel like- You have to do three shows a night. You'll sell them out. Or a bigger room. But I always feel like I grow artistically because it's so humiliating because the audiences there are so fucking belligerent. Oh, they do that to you?

Hey, it's rich white faggots who are like, I'm funny. I'm funny too. I can do what she does. Because they all think they can do drag. Circuit week is the worst week. Oh, it's absolutely just pee and pee and poppers and G. Doctors and lawyers. Weekend warriors. They're literally on, they're doing a booty bump about a liter of crystal meth water into a whole bunch of G. Oh, those guys. Can't stand them. Yeah. They all have the same roided out back knee. Um,

We'll get on a tear on that next episode. And they can't stand us either. No. And they hate the drag queens. They hate drag queens. They love it. They don't even look at hot boys. They love it for the moment before they G out and then get plowed in a fucking sling by 50 men. I feel like the people used to go to P-Town and seeing shows was the backbone of it. Artists. And now they just want to do drugs in the woods and suck dick at a pool. And going to the show is like pulling teeth. They should. What I would love to encourage those people is go to Fire Island instead.

instead. Go to Fire Island. Go to Fire Island. Right? Ooey sucking dick in the dune. You're going to get sand in your teeth. Deer ticks on your cock and then black widow spiders up your ass. I honestly think the shows in P-Town are the best part of going. Yeah. Go see Barla. Go see Barla and tell me it's not the best thing you've ever fucking seen in your life. No shit. Go see all of another.

Dina. Dina. Go see Dina Martina. Go see anybody. Go see Tamela. Go see Divas. Yeah. Go see Thirsty Burlington if she's still there. Thirsty, she's there. She's doing really good with her surgeries. Good. She's incredible. Yeah. But yeah, they're just those insufferable circuit fags really need to get a grip and go to Fire Island and just...

G out in the water there and die. The best week there, my opinion is this, Bear Week is a good one. It's the best one. Great vibes. And it's the most diverse week. Great vibes. Body shapes and sizes. Friendly, fun. They're the great crowd for drag show. For drag, they are the best crowd. Great crowd. And they love to laugh and they love to make fun of. Like our theater, you still at the post office? No, please. I was at the post office for a long time, which is Church Pews. And so it seats about 110. Bear Week could be about 180.

Fierce. And it's like throuples of 300 pound men like taking up, you know, they're spread out. But there's some skinny whinnies there too. Yeah. They're called otters. Otters. Yeah. Otters. HeLa monsters. Dolphins. Yeah. Amoebas. Yeah. When they shave them up, they're all lizards and heLa monsters. Dolphins. Dolphins. Now are those the ones that fucks in the blowhole? Yeah. Really? What is that? R-E-P-E.

Orcas. Orcas. Whale killers. You know orcas? Whale killers. Well, orcas have male-on-male behavior. Just let it be known. Soda dolphins. Well, sometimes in... Girl. Sometimes at P-10, I'll go down to the beach and I'll still see the twinks and I'll clip those like a six-pack bottle of soda plastic because they're being strangled because of the pollution in the ocean. It's the little twinks and the...

Oh, yeah. You're so cool. Oh, pupils. I'll take you on a campaign. Yes. I just got fucking almost, I got, I'm heated. I'm heated. I got in such deep Instagram jail because science.com or something posted that two whales were having a male on male relationship. They do. Yeah. And they commented like, these are gay animals. And I commented, no.

Okay. And I got put in such bad time out on Instagram that I couldn't post on my own stories because it was like hate speech. Well, I'm glad they're cracking down. Yeah. Shame on you. But you could next time just say queer. Thank you. Queer icons of the ocean. These are queer non-binary whales? You say cock sucking homo losers. Or like what did your mom say? You're nothing but a common surfside city cock sucker.

Have you been talking to my mom? No, I just made it up right now. It's going to be a slogan on one of my t-shirts. Love it. Not kitty section. This way in the gallery, please. Thank you. No dildos back there, so don't worry. Great.

Do you remember the part in your show with the shooting? Of course. That was a mass shooting time. Yeah. And there's still a mass shooting time and I brought all that up. Yeah. Yes, of course. There's a part of the show where you're relaxed. You're in the moment. Tammy's singing. She's saying geisha geisha. She's singing. Appropriation. Oh, God. Don't tell John Mark. There's a hard cut where gunshot sound effects happen and Tammy's like this.

And you're like shocked. And she's like, I think you say like, and that's what it's like in America right now. Yeah. I did a whole show on that. And some lady, she ran out crying. Well, but no, I did the whole, like I said, close your eyes. And that'd take you on a whole like, um, story of the, you know, we're on a grassy knoll somewhere. And then I go, shh,

And then guts fall. The surround sound of the theater gunshots start playing. And then you had prop heads with tomato soup. But that was in your mind. And I said, why don't you go ahead and don't worry. I got the perpetrator. You can open up your eyes now because I don't need you to be here signing out paperwork and everything else. Mm.

Like that. It was fierce. You were. Scared the shit out of me. Yes, I did. It scared the shit out of me. Bombs over Baghdad. I mean, this stuff is real. Yeah. Oh, my God. You know, Jesus was a refugee. Don't forget it. I've been to the Coptic church. Have you? And I have lit a candle. That's in Egypt. Oh. See, it's a sign. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Let's take a break.

We're back here with Tammy Brown. And just the other day, I heard somebody talk about somebody else's toupee. And he said, I wouldn't ride that rug to Baghdad.

Oh no! The male units in this city are numerous. They're numerous. They are deep and vicious and it is breathtaking. It's a very yes and. But it's also a very no but I won't talk about it. Where are they wearing the toupees? Oh, everywhere. At the gym, in the spin class, in the point of fame. It's like a form of

It's a form of having to compulsively scream. Wig! When I see a guy in a unit, I just have to go like, hair apiece! I just want to grab it. Really? I have to grab it and go, yeah. Now you sound like my mom. She'd clock everybody wearing a wig all the time. I can't do it. I have to restrain myself from being in the cinema and screaming. Wig!

When we did Netflix, we did The Trust. And Tammy was like, that person has a wig on. I was like, no way. Sure enough. Yeah, I'll never forget it. One episode is Killing Eve season three or something. The Russian brunette who's a guest star of three episodes could see the glue, the world. The glue on the lace. Fade on away in the movie Network. You're kidding. Wig.

Well, they're always wearing wigs. Well, girl, Netflix, they've given up the ghost on the wigs. They're just going out of the costume store. Brown chicken wire, like unglued. Screen door. Screen door lace. Screen door lace. Well, I mean, Nicole Kidman in Big Little Lies season one, there was a $35 Party City wig. Oh. Unbelievable. Well, that's a pity. People are cheap. Hayden Panettiere in the new Scream, the New York one.

It's giving Andy Warhol? It's giving DMV. Wow. What was his name? It's giving work wig. He died. What was his name? I mean, he's dead. He wore those toupees. Oh, my God. Liberace. Oh, Liberace. He wore some wigs. Of course he did. Oh, look at that. Behind the candelabra. If I was like...

Kathy Griffin, for example, she has wigs that look exactly like her hair. You were with her. And then when she tours, she just style that wig, throw it on. I think if you have a wig of your wig for like standup, it makes a lot of sense. Why heat damage, heat style your own hair? Any movie stars wearing a wig. What's her name? Think about the time in the chair that you're saved for the first team. You know what I mean? From friends. And the damage to your hair.

Come back and all that. Of course. Say it again. Come back and all that. Her name is Sweet Amy. Lisa Kudrow. Lisa Kudrow's always wearing wigs. Everybody's wearing wigs. Sharon Moonstruck. I love her wigs in the comeback. I like her wigs, period. I love her. I like that Phoebe wig. Everything she does. She's pure brilliance. I was watching Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D-List because it's on Peacock again. Uh-huh.

It's incredible. Is Kathy Griffin My Life on the D-List? I mean, it's so inspiring. Oh, is it? Yes. Kathy Griffin is just... It's a reality show about her career. And the comeback is a fake reality show about her career. I mean, they are related. Yeah.

It makes sense. And she's even a redhead in the comeback. Yeah, Valerie Cherish. She's not a comic. She's an actress. You know what I liked about the comeback? We all saw it, right? Yeah, of course. I liked that as ridiculous as it was... Oh, RuPaul was in there. She was, yes. That's why you like it. No. I'm sorry to cut you off. I like it because...

They made her a good actress. So it's kind of ridiculous, but in the scenes where she actually has to do the sitcom, she gets the laughs. It would have been hard to root for her if she was a flop actress. She beat me to the punch, though, because I was always going to use an Oscar as a doorstop.

Wow. I use an Oscar as a dildo. And look at you, very sensual. I use that, I mean, because I like the blood. Look at that. Y'all are very sensual. Yeah. Is that a read? Yeah. Is it true that pigs have like spring dicks? Yes, and soda ducks. Yeah, soda ducks. Malard dicks. Those mallards are no joke. Aren't they? It's sexual assault, right? Mallards are the ones who are like, we're doing this. Dolphins do it as well.

Remember when I said that to you? They'll rape you. Rape you down the river. Especially in the Amazon, they come and take the ladies. They say that's the rumor, the legend. Do you think a dolphin is a good lay? I don't think so. I think it would be fun. Orcas. That's a gangbang I'd like to be in the middle of. Big and long. Were you always an environmental activist? I've always liked the environment. As a child, I used to play a witch out in the woods. In a flower shop.

For your rag queens, it's a lot of recycled material, right? Yeah, it's recycled. Most everything is recycled, yeah. And the facial impressions as well. How long does it take you to make those little guys? Those take up to 16 hours. Wow. We're doing our first show this November, actually. First gallery show in Galveston, Texas. Benefit. Ooh.

Whoa. When did you start making those? I started, I think in 2016 was when I started really making them. You make them all by hand. Yeah, and I've been collecting the nylons for about eight years. And I was like, okay, because I love nylons and I love the textured nylons. And they've been around since the 60s, Michelle Visage.

Dysfunctional Virgo bitch. Bitch? Got mixed up by Madonna. Do you feel sexy in like color? Do you like color tights and stuff? Do I feel sexy in them? I don't necessarily feel sexy. I just like the fashion or the style and the look. And I get bored with just simply black fishnet or black nylons, period. I like the design. I'm sorry that she's trying to over-sexualize you. It's very uncomfortable. Oh, it doesn't bother me. I am sexy, you know? I just wondered if she liked the feel of it. Does it make you feel sexy to have like fabric legs? That was Caitlyn Jenner.

Old big hands. I get you guys mixed up all the time. Yeah, pantyhose. Rose Toast knows pantyhose. There's a little rhyme I wrote back in the day. You can ask that to Jackie Beetz, you know. But Rose Toast knows pantyhose. But pantyhose, I just love them, and I have designer ones from all over the world. That's the number one thing I go to shop for. But the Rag Queens are made with previously worn designer nylons for all you kinky cats and kittens out there. All you CD lovers. Perfume.

Do you get the gentlemen who are like, I want to sniff your pantyhose? You know what? I get the kind of gentlemen that my baby has a foot fetish. That's why I'm taking biotin. Oh, okay. Does biotin make, is it for toenail growth? It's for the nails and the hair. Yeah. Maybe they like a little hair on your cuticle. I've taken biotin for hair. Laugh at that.

But it does make your fingernails grow annoyingly fast. Did it work for you? It worked great. It worked incredible. Look at that. Well, why don't you go down to Greece or over to Greece? No, not Greece. Turkey. Fiercely bald. Male pattern baldness. Yeah. What about Turkey? You can go over there and get those plugs put in. No, she doesn't have enough hair to do it with. Really? Well, get some. Plug it from what? Plug it from what? We'll get one of those nice wigs that they wear here in town, you know?

Being bald works for me. I know, I'm just kidding. In fact, the Uber driver dropped me off on the other side and I thought you'd be out on the balcony when I got dropped off over here. So I was looking on the other side of the street and I was talking to... You left it like a Vita, just like, hello. You'd welcome me, I would do that, why not? Gotta live the fantasy. You know, we are in Hollywood, right? Mae West lived down the street and

I'm sure she did it with all her... Lindsay Lohan terrorized my former neighborhood. She did? Absolutely. Actually, the house that I'm trying to sell is featured in the Bling Ring. Fuck her. You know, so there I was walking along your street and I thought this bald-headed man was you. Right. And I said that to the assistant coordinator. May I say their name? Yeah, please. I was on the phone with them and I said, this bald-headed person across the street looks like Trixie. Must be her. And then he looked and, God, ugly face.

So it really was me. And I was on the phone with your coordinator, what is it, Trixie? It's Tracy. Tracy. Tracy, Trixie. Did he have a dump truck? Huh? Did he have a dumper? No. A big fat jam. But I jammed in a gravel truck in my time machine video. Oh. Time machine video. It's really cute. By the way, you have a beautiful head of gorgeous curly hair. You do. Oh, thank you. It's just stunning. Thank you. Do you dye it? My baby was touching it like this. It's gorgeous. And he said, Tommy, I like these little curls. Those waves, these little curls.

Do people say you look like Clark Gable? Thank you, but I don't like Clark Gable anymore because he's a rapist.

I think we found our episode title. People probably don't even know who Clark Gable is. A good raping with Tammy Brown. I've only seen him in like two movies. Which one? Gone with the Wind? No, never seen it. Don't be mad. I'm not a Clark Gable fan. I think he's gorgeous and I would like a portrait of him without the mustache because when he had such a baby face in his younger days. Who about Cary Grant? Cary Grant. I prefer that. And then who's the other one I really like? Who's the guy that Elizabeth Taylor was friends with who was in The Car Accident? The Car Accident. Let's do a little Google there. I don't think we have the capabilities.

Really? He was blonde. I just watched some movies with him. David Bowie. And after the car accident, he wouldn't be seen like front on. So all of the shots are from the side because I think the reconstruction. Phantom of the Opera. The reconstruction things, he went from like a Ken doll to normal level hot. And I think like.

Montgomery Cliff, yes. And he was queer. And he was secret gay, yeah. Jane Mansfield. Jane Mansfield. She was not decapitated and she was coming back from New Orleans. Let's get the story straight. The chihuahua might have lost his head because there's pictures of that. It was a wig. Okay. On that note, I think we got to...

Who was the one that he was in that movie Deliverance? Oh, God. And he's the one wearing those wigs all the time. Big time rape movie. And he was on the race. I've never seen it. Really? Are you kidding me?

That movie is all about being raped in the woods by gay men. They were clobbering them good. Can I just say, call me old fashioned. I like to have sex with people who want to have sex with me. I concur. Nothing sexier about someone says, let's do sex. I really want that. Well, I think I like the passive necrophiliacs. They like when rigor mortis sets in and have their way. They got a small window and they jump right on that dead dick. I have arthritis. Like I can stiffen up.

We can do a fake rigor mortis. Well, you better go to Montana and get in one of those mines and it helps your body with the, you know. Really? I was going to become one of those rich white people that stings themselves with bees. Okay, do it. Do you know about that? Oh, yeah. Bee stinging clinics? Absolutely. Yeah, but they're going to die.

I know. That's not good. But that's okay. Whatever it takes. Besides, the honeybees aren't the ones we need to protect. We need to protect all the other pollinators. The honeybees make the money. That's why we're always protecting them. But the other ones are the ones that need to be protected. The bees. Yeah, just bees and butterflies and those other pollinators. Oh, yeah. Bumblebee.

Bees matter. Mr. Bumblebee. Bees are a bipartisan issue. With no bees, we have no flowers pollinated, which means we have no oxygen, which means we die. Cell phone radiation. And this country is just number one plastic contaminated around the world. The last time I looked, number two in admissions. I know. I wish Iran would blow us off the map. Oh, God. I just wish that they would liberate all those men because I talked to some of them over there. Oh, my God.

Habibi, welcome to Dubai. Dubai. That's one circuit. I think we're going to wrap it up. Tammy, where can the people support you? Where can they support me? Online. You can also my TikTok, Planet Tammy. Don't let them delete TikTok. That's fascism.

Oh, right. So Planet Tammy on Instagram, Planet Tammy on TikTok, Planet Tammy on Facebook. My YouTube channel, It's Tammy Brown. It's Tammy Brown. You can see me on the OutTV channel. Yes. OutTV channel, $2.99 subscription. It's fruit TV in the UK and all the Commonwealth countries. And they better check you out on The Browns, which is absolutely sensational. Thank you. Hilarious. And The Browns now is on Amazon Prime as well, second season. But that's been shelved.

What? Shelled by the network. Son of a bitch. They'd rather talk about dicks and shit. Well, they need to shit ass.

I recommend everybody see you live because there's nothing like it. And also, you know, a lot of drag queens in person don't look so great. Tammy somehow looks even better in person. It's amazing. Nice. Thank you. You always deliver in person. You look perfect. You really do. You're fucking, yeah, it's incredible. The only one who knows how to fucking glue their eyebrows down. Well, I don't do that anymore so much. You know who taught me how to do that the right way? Who? Raven. Of course. She's got it all figured out, doesn't she? Yeah, she's got it all figured out.

Okay. Well, thank you so much, Tammy. Thank you. And I'll see y'all next time.

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