Revisiting the Comedic Genius of Macy Rodman
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Hi, Bald. It's me, Katya. While we're working on some big upcoming projects, we're going to revisit some of our favorite episodes. This week, we're going back to our interview with Macy Rodman. Enjoy.

Macy Rodman, everybody. This is the incomparable Macy Rodman. Macy Rodman in the studio today, folks. Our very first in-person, in-house studio guest. It's beautiful. And not to sexualize you, but you walked into the room leg first. And that leg was seven foot long. They're attached to my pussy. Legs. I saw legs. I saw a cap.

And I was like, we're doing this today. We're in the Studio 71 studio. We're not in my living room. We're used to filming my living room. And it can be very primitive. Because I run the cameras, so it can get, the quality can go in and out. Yeah, I'm usually blurry or not in focus at all, which I prefer. There's one episode where I was like,

kind of like really well lit and gorgeous. And this one was so out of focus. It was like, it was like, like about to be like a light, you know, a reenactment, dramatic reenactment, but the camera just cut. It just cut. I love those reenactment shows where it's super blurry and super slow frames per second. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, no one knew what she was doing behind closed doors. And it's like a shadowy face, like look,

Yeah, she's just back here rearranging some things. We don't know either. Reenactment actor. Yeah. That's a job. That's a great job. Oh, that would be a great gig just to be a director. I only do dramatic reenactments of true crime events. Yeah. No lighting and just bad actors. And you also have to look like a person. So if you're an average actor and you're not a supermodel, it's probably a great option. Yeah. Because you have to look like a normal killer or a normal victim. Yeah. You can't have like,

- On your Taylor Joy like. - Yeah, you have to look like Aunt Lisa. - Aunt Lisa the murderer. - Aunt Lisa the murderer. So you're visiting from New York? - Mm-hmm. - I can't believe we just magically got you here at the right time. - I know. - No, I've been planning it. - Oh, she's manifesting this. - I've been plotting. - I've been plotting. I have my little birds out in the whisper, yeah.

I don't know if you know that this person loves you so much that you should feel unsafe. And it's like, I don't know if you know that. This seating arrangement is to your benefit.

I am obsessed. I'm obsessed. And it's just because I have a tendency to, you know, just want to KMS all the time. And your videos, really. I'm like our fans with her. Yeah, you were going to kill yourself. I was going to kill myself, but then I saw you eat sour cream and I'm okay. That's totally the vibe. She showed me some of your videos. And at first I was just like, what a...

- First of all, I love a blatant face filter. - Oh yes, yeah, absolutely. - Let's not do Hollywood special effects. Let's not, can we start getting dragged that way? Just a face filter? - I would prefer it, I would prefer it. - We've tried so many, we've tried to figure out how to do a screen with a phone to do some kind of a live event. It's just impossible. It has to live in Snapchat or whatever. - Oh no, no, no, no, no, I've got it, I've got it. You just have to have the right

dramatic reenactment theatrical lighting. Oh my God. You're absolutely right. So you're kind of backlit. Yeah. You give the silhouette and then with the voice, people will fill in the rest. We're obvious that people at home don't know you have this brilliant, it's sort of your alt account, right? Kate update. Yeah. Do you want to tell the children what that is? So, uh,

- God, when did I start doing it? I just started doing her voice kind of after she was like, I love this show, and she was a phenomenon for a moment. And so I just started doing Caitlyn Jenner impressions with the Snapchat face swap filter. And I don't know, she's become like, she's kind of become my impression of my dad.

Because she's just like, that's her vibe, is like weird dad. Well, she is someone's weird old parent. Yeah. And so, I don't know. It's just like, she slowly became more and more despicable in real life. But my impression is always like, dopey old Kate. So, I don't know. It's fun. I mean, because people...

It's so funny. We love it so much. And I would say that we do you as Caitlyn to each other once a day. Yeah. All the time. I'll be home all my house. All the time. My assistant walks in today. I said, hey, kiddo. Yeah. Literally this morning, I was like, I was putting the sugar in my coffee and I was like, cafe con azúcar. It's literally just like, it's just like a rolling bank of like, it's really delicious. And I'm at the point where like, she's not even Caitlyn to me anymore. You are.

- Your Caitlin is the only Caitlin. - That's good. I mean, we need to replace her. - And I would say your Caitlin is more endearing at this point. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And that's on period. - Yes, hunty. Yes, hunty. So did you, she was on, that show she did was so strange. - It was more, the vibe of that show, science fiction directors strive for that level of surreal,

like unbelievable dystopia. - Yeah, it was WandaVision. - It was fucking WandaVision. It's like a fucking Republican trans woman, like former Olympian. It sounds like Southland Tales or like some crazy movie.

And then they bring in all of the incredible trans women who've been doing this work for years to teach her how to do it right. And she's just like, well, you know, I'll throw on some lipstick and let's go on a road trip. We'll see what happens. You know? It's like... Fucking Kate Bornstein is like... Literally, it's...

- Oh my God. - It was the amount of privilege that was like throughout the whole thing, like before the transition and then after and now with this education. - Right. - You literally have-- - This education that no one would ever be, no college course would ever be privy to. - No. - Kate Bornstein going, "What about the freak fact?"

How do you feel about being a freak now? And Kate's like, well, you know, we're trying to make it a little more normal. And it's like, everyone's just like, you don't know what you're doing at all. I know. I watched that show, of course, but I watching it for Candace. Oh yeah. Of course. I mean, I watch everything for Candace. And the weird, like forced, like romantic storyline that they try to give. There was this fierce episode where they decided to go for a, they tried to go dirt biking. Oh,

And Kate was sort of like, I want to still be able to do my not girly things too. So we're taking all the girls dirt biking. You know, it's a reality show. They're dirt biking.

All it was, was Candace putting her helmet on and then taking it off and shaking her hair out and cheating to camera. - It was the Manor Tanner Star Booty commercial. - Over and over again. And she was so hot and she just kept taking the, and just shaking the hair out like, what? Why is everyone looking at me? I did a gig with her once at a casino and it was like really poorly attended. It was like me, her, Lady Bunny. It was a really cute little cast and

Not many people came. Then afterward, of course, this guy comes up and he's like, is your friend Candace available for a party afterward up in my room? And I was like, oh, I think she went to bed. And he goes, oh, okay. Well, are you available? So he went from Candace to me. How long did it take? How long did it take? Seconds. Oh, my God. Seconds. He went from a goddess to SpongeBob in two seconds. Two seconds. I'm like, you didn't go, did you? I didn't go. You fucking bitch. I didn't go.

I knew I couldn't follow Candace. I just got done with Bunny. He's like, I already ran through, and I think Raja was there too. Oh, wow. And he thinks I already ran through Bunny and Raja and they said no. You're the last option. Oh my God. Does, um, I mean, I mean, I wonder if Caitlin knows about your Caitlin. I don't know because we did like a weird little zine. Um,

with the New York Art Book Fair or whatever, and Zachary Drucker did a little thing in it. But she was like, "I'll show Caitlin if I think she'll like it." - Okay. - And if I don't think she will, then I just won't tell her about it and she'll never find out.

- I would guess that she probably would not love. - I mean, in the scene it was like we were doing fake NRA ads and it was not a love letter. - It wasn't like you, good beauty lighting. - Hi, I'm Caitlyn. - But then also, you know, got the Tesla, it was just like, you know, weird. - She's really rich and really rich people don't always

feel comfortable being joked about for being very rich. Especially because she's got this like she thinks that she's like altruistic like she's trying to like cultivate this charitable facade or something. Yeah. I think that that would bum

her out. Cultivate that. What? Yeah. Cultivate it. I mean, yeah, she, I mean, she's, she's tough. Yeah. It's tough. It's, it's tough to, I always think of a person like her or like, I don't know, like a Jenny McCarthy or a Kirstie Alley where it's like, you were set up for the LGBTQIAs to be obsessed with them. You were, all you had to do was jump in the pool. Yes. And then you do some. You didn't have to jump in the pool. You just like sit by the pool. Yeah. And then you do some. Would be,

better. Some hard left shit that we cannot get on board with. And it's like, it's like arrested development level. Like every turn you just like, it's like this unbelievable fuck up. Yeah. It's really next level. I mean, kind of cool. It's like, how,

It's bizarre. I mean, like, you know, obviously, like, no person can speak for any group. No trans person can be, like, a role model, you know, even. But does Caitlyn think of herself as a role model? I don't know if she does now. She definitely did at one point. She did at one point. At one time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously, transitioning in the public eye and later in life has its own challenges. And that's obviously, you know. But her experience with those things aren't universal in any way. And I think that's what makes it hard to be like, but you don't speak for...

somebody else who's in a completely different tax bracket. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know? - Yeah, I mean, I get it. Like going through transition, it's like you're the only person in the world, you know? And then it's like, oh, after like a few years, you're like, oh, actually I'm not. - Yeah, not that great. - Yeah. - When did that process start for you? - When I was 25, I'm 31 now.

You do the math. What is that? 17 years. What is that? 17 years? That's 27 years ago. Yeah. That's fierce. And is your family supportive? You know, ish.

Why did I just say that's fierce? She goes, I don't know, I was 31. I go, that's fierce. Work, 31, work. Yeah, I mean, they're not like, you know, God hates fags or anything. He does, but they don't do that. You're like, I do. I certainly do.

- No, I mean, you know, I like, I don't talk to a lot of my family and my closest family, they're like pretty chill, so it's fine. - Oh, that's good. Where did you grow up? - Juneau, Alaska. - What the fuck? - And then I moved to New York when I was 18 and I've been there ever since. - Juneau, Alaska? - Yeah. - What's that like? - It's weird. It's like, I mean, there's like the kind of Palin-y aspect to it.

And then there's also like a hippie vibe because people come up from like Portland and Seattle to work. Is it gay? Do you know? No. No, right. I think now it's a little more, but I don't know. They installed like a rainbow sidewalk downtown. Are you buying it? Yeah. I was going to say that. I'm at the point now where I'm like...

I was at the mall the other day and old, or not old, Levi's, not to put on blast, Levi's. I was at the mall and the Levi's had their pride stuff out and the pride stuff was already out 40% off, like July 1st. Yeah. Bye gang. We waste no time. It's like Valentine's Day or anything else. They're like, whatever. It's so weird. Yeah. I don't, when you, that video, you're like, thanks for Exxon Mobil, the spots you made pride stuff. I'm like,

- The video of yours that we are completely obsessed with is the one where Caitlin is giving you a checklist to whether or not you're trans. - Oh yeah, 'cause that's a real thing, where she was like-- - What did she say? I haven't seen that one. - That's a real thing? - Not that, not really. - You're not reading a script. - I just read the press release. No, it was the trans kids in sports thing.

Okay. And they were like, how do we know who's trans and just a guy trying to play basketball? Yeah, just a guy in a wig trying to get into the WNBA. She's the man. Yeah. Very Juana man. Just one of the guys. Yeah, there's a lot of that happening. People don't know. Woo! But, uh,

But she was like, "I'll show you how to determine who's trans or not. I'll come up with a criteria or whatever." And I don't think any, like people obviously like weren't living for that. - The Caitlyn Jenner criteria collection. - We need the Caitlyn Jenner criteria collection.

Oh my God. That list. It's like Blades of Glory. Tootsie. Yeah. Two movies. Two movies. Oh my God. Oh my God.

- Holy shit. - What is this list though? - I don't think it ever came out. - She never released that, okay. - Yeah, she was just like, "I'll do it." And then people were like, "I love you." - Sure, Caitlin. - She probably released it to her press people and they were like, "Okay, we got it, yeah, I'm sending it out." - God, a checklist. I mean, honestly,

I'm glad somebody probably stepped in and went, well, maybe you don't do that checklist. I always think with people like that, like it's someone's job to constantly like, please don't say that. Please don't say that today. And just like appease them and be like, yeah, you're so right, but they're not.

- Right. - Placate them, but also try to control fires in a way. Like how firefighters dig trenches to stop forest fires. That's what they're doing with someone's tweets. Like, oh shit. - Setting traps so that they can't just-- - They're like, sure, Kate, we'll get to the checklist tomorrow, but we have this Sephora thing we gotta do. - Right. There's nothing more chilling than waking up to somebody from your management or something going, have you been on Twitter today?

And you're never like, are they throwing a party for me? Is it a fun hashtag? It's never anything like that. Hashtag living for Trixie. We're living for you. You know, Twitter girl, they're all loving you, honey. Yeah, anything. Whenever I get over like five notifications on Twitter, I'm like,

Oh, no. Some twink is, like, raging. Does anybody ever come at you for the... You get hate online? I am, like, shudder to even, like, say this. I said something... I said, like, Lana Del Rey sucks or something on Twitter. Oh, that's... And that was one of the most terrifying days of my life. You might as well have, like, attempted to assassinate any president. They were, like... They got...

some video of me online performing and put like hex videos on top of it. Like weird satanic symbols and shit. - There's some Tati Westbrook shit. - Yeah, yeah, humination. - You need to close the door. - Close the door, the humination. - Lana Del Rey reached the back of her head. - By the way, you're lucky-- - She said, "Not at my head of music business conference." - By the way, you're lucky this one didn't see your fuck Lana Del Rey tweet. - I was like, I found your,

- She would have burned you alive. - Lana Del Rey and satanic imagery. - Do it together. - It's the ding dong video. - We were photographed once by Chuck Grant, who is Lana Del Rey's younger sister. - Oh, I listened to that episode. - And this one levitated across the room.

Yeah, I was like, you know when you feel yourself like you know, you know you're about to do something very bad and you're like, your super ego is trying to pull yourself back. It was that vibe. Although ever since the Minuteman music conference, I'm done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, I think she is like really testing the limits of her family. What's Minuteman? So her new album, her latest album is like, Blue Bonnets Over the Bandistack.

Blue Bannister. Blue Bottles over the Best Buy. Shut the fuck up. I mean, let me get one thing clear. Blue Bannister. We sort of stand. No, no, no. I love. No, she's got some good tunes. I love. But we love to make fun of them.

Yes, of course. Yeah. And it's so, you know, that kind of like the Britney fandom, how they're they're so, you know, enamored and, you know, and defensive and they love her even though she's, you know, that kind of thing with Lana. It's the the evil version of that. Right. It turns. It's so dark sided. Yeah. Like when Mariah, like on New Year's Eve, had her thing and the Mariah people defended her. It's that times a thousand. Yeah. For everything.

Anything she does. Anything. Because Lana, there's no humor in Lana's persona, really. Right, right. At all. And Brittany's whimsical, Mariah's hysterical, but Lana is serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's serious. And like...

Yeah, she like has this like darkness to her. So it's like those kind of people are drawn to her. Yeah, but it's funny because I loved the character. I love the persona like the early, you know, in all those albums, you know, the same 12 words and the same three chords. I love it. Like dad in a dress and a whiskey. It's a fast, crazy baby. And maybe it hit me at the right age too because I remember Born to Die came out like when I was like 19. So I think it just like worked at the time. And also nobody had done it. I'd never seen a music video like Born to Die or video games. It was like

Beautiful. But video games was like a game changer. It was a game changer. My space thing. Yes. But it's just it's she's morphed into and, you know, I don't like to we don't work in an industry where everybody has different situations.

She's gotta put down the pump. She's gotta put down the pump. What pump? What pump? - The penis pump. - Her clit's too big. - I can see her clit through that white dress, honey. - White dress, big clit. - Walked into the, sorry, sorry. - She is such a beautiful woman and I'm just like, you gotta stop, you gotta stop. Fast track to Madonna. She's on a fast track to Madonna.

We're going to get, you can't tell. I know, I'm going to get murdered before I go home. We're touching on all the people whose fandom are the most toxic and hitting them one by one. Now Taylor Swift. I don't care about, the face is whatever, but it's just all the stuff. Like, I don't want to see the lacy white cream camisole. I don't want to see the, you know, like the unbrushed hair.

That's the real you and good for you. But I want to see the femme fatale. I mean, when she's good, it's so good. That cover photo for Lust for Life, I mean, her beauty is just ridiculous. Oh, it's a... Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, she has beautiful hair, flowers, big, beautiful smile. I mean, come on. Also, that one had High by the Beach, right? Oh, yeah, baby. That video was so good. Yeah, just bam. Does that speak to you? People have cut that with the opening of Kate's show. Because it's that same, like, wispy, like, thing. I've seen a couple of them. It's like, Caitlin, when, like, such and such happens, and then it's like...

I was, I literally, I rode my bike down like the, the, Fiorucci Boulevard. Yeah. Like Redondo Beach, Manhattan Beach, listening to Lust for Life. Yeah. And like the sun was setting and I was on a little electric bike and I was, I was, I've never vibed so hard my entire life. It was great. It's vibes as well. But now, but now it's just like, ah,

I mean, when it's good, it's so good. And if you like it, you'll love it because it's all the same. Yeah. And some of that, we always talk about some of the remixes people do for music are bops. Amazing. Oh, that summertime sadness. Yeah. So good. You know the one. Yeah. Will she be your next character?

I think I would literally get murdered. You would because you could do her. I did her for one second in like a, I did a parody of the Gal Gadot thing. The Imagine? Yeah. Oh my God. But we sang Black Hole Sun and it was just a bunch of celebrities.

I did one of those. I did a bunch of wigs and did the Imagine video and it got removed from TikTok because they considered it bullying. Are you kidding me? I'm dead serious. You know, Gal's publicist was like, bullying. Trixie called me a fag, basically. What the fuck was that fuckery?

That video? That video. When I think of COVID in 20 years, I'm not going to remember people who have died. I'm not going to remember masks. I'm going to remember Kristen Wiig staring at that camera going, it's easy if you try. Woo!

- That was, that was what made people go buy toilet paper. - That really like kicked it off. Yeah, exactly. - They're like, oh, this is serious. It's serious. It's over for us. - Like the shelves were stocked. Everyone's skin was clear. Nobody had been hospitalized. That video came out, death to all of them. - Death to all of them. - Do you love Wendy Williams? - Of course. - We keep talking about how the best part of that video, once you've watched it a thousand times is the, oh yeah.

It was like the conviction and then the recoil. Oh my God. No, she's incredible. I like to save up like five episodes or so and then just go into full psychosis. Wait, wait, let's take a break. Oh, let's take a break. Let's take a break. Let's take a break.

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And we're back. It's the death to all of them.

She is so, she's literally unfiltered. It's just like, there's no, and I wonder if her producer's like, but that's what I'm saying. Again, the publicist putting out fires. She went, oh, the publicist went, oh. I don't think there's a publicist. I don't, I mean, I think that she is like a bonfire surrounded by bricks and people are just, you know. Yeah, I think at this point it's like any of that just helps her. Cancel proof. Cancel proof. They also could have removed it and didn't.

Well, exactly. It's not live television. It's not live on the scene. Right, right, right. Well, some of them are.

Really? Live. Yeah, totally. When she fainted. Oh, right. Or the TikTok guy, like that gentleman's death. Did you see? Yes. Oh, my fucking God. That was. I still can't believe I showed it to somebody yesterday or a couple of days ago. It's two minutes long, the setup. Yeah. And they were like getting bored. And I was like, just keep listening. And then she says, well, he was murdered this weekend. I was like, it's unbelievable.

It's not funny. What is that? It's not funny. It's like crazy. It's actually like worrisome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She did the same thing when her own mom died. And she was like, she was like, I was talking to my mom the other day and she was telling me if she really liked this dress. And yeah, so she's dead. She's been dead for about four months. And I just, you know, wanted to tell you now. It's, it's.

I mean... It's the new world. Yeah. It's like, yeah. Gal Gadot started it. Wendy Williams is continuing it. When you die... Oh, it'll get back to normal. I'm going to do Imagine. I'm doing Imagine. Oh, my God. Imagine all the pee holes. Yeah. It was so wild. I just can't... That kind of, like, out of touch. It's like, okay, things are really bad. Let's get all... Let's sing. Yeah. We all sing part of a song and then...

Yeah. What's that? What's that mindset there? Peace. This will bring this will bring peace. Yeah. Again, back to the Caitlin thing to the tax bracket thing makes certain things just not land. Oh, my God. You're not. You can't hide the mahogany sandalwood. You can't hide your staff. Do you remember the I think you've been on Ellen, right?

No, no, that was no, Patty was. I, yeah, I have. I'm her. Well, I can't hide this anymore. If you reveal to that little Blair St. Clair, I will scream. My name's Ellen DeGeneres and I've got something to say. I thought she did good.

But do you remember, it was like the first COVID picture of her and she was on her patio and this expansive land, like cry eyes. With the crying eyes? Yes. And it's just like, like the Caitlin thing is like when you're that rich, you just need to consider the instrument.

And consider what somebody making less than $15,000 a year is going to think when they see that. Yeah. Yeah. It's wild. Yeah. If you feel like crying, imagine how we feel. Imagine how tired we are. Imagine how tired we are. Have you had any crazy celebrity run-ins? Because when I'm in New York, I never see anybody famous here. But in New York, people walk the street. Oh.

Yeah, well, I've seen, I used to go to school in the West Village and I would see Amy Sedaris all the time and that was about, I mean, you know, never talked to her but she was just like,

Always like, just exactly, she was fidgeting with something, walking a dog, like that was always really cool. - Doing a character. - Yeah, yeah. - Pratt balls. - We were obsessed. We were obsessed with At Home With Amy Sedaris. - What? - We were obsessed with At Home With Amy Sedaris. - At Home With Amy Sedaris was, I mean, "Cola Scola" is like, girl, so incredible. - Chassie, fucking Chassie. So good. - And by the way, I mean, almost no makeup on. Looks gorgeous.

- As her incredible. - He has that, he's got the kids in the hall face where like you just put on, if he had this bang on, it'd be like, ma'am?

You know, it's like incredible. Yeah, they're so good. A few jokes too. I love that show because they would do jokes that obviously were everywhere at the end of the day going, is this joke really important? We have to set up this whole new shot for us to lean over and see that the top of their heads are bald. Oh, the like prosthetic of the balding head. Just all of that. It's like so worth it. Yeah. And then the finale with like Michael Sheen. Shannon. Michael Shannon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Charlie Sheen. It was Charlie Sheen. She's revealed to be Charlie Sheen. Yes. And Denise Richards. I think I told her about this. I watched Beverly Hills all through during quarantine. And she's there was this part where everyone was going like, well, Denise, it's like this or like I was in this magazine or something. And it cuts to Denise Richards in a confessional. She goes, sometimes I think that some of these women forget that I'm fucking Denise Richards.

I've been on every magazine any of them would ever dream of. Oh my God. And it was so cut. It's true. You see her on The Real Housewives and everyone's in glam, but she's always in jeans and a t-shirt. And then you go, she's like the sloppy one right now. But she's Denise Richards. And they're not. Why did she do it? It feels like slumming it for her. I'm sure it was fun and good money. She's a mom. She's kids. The first season she was on, she was like...

tried to be like fun mom she was like my husband's got a big dick let's drink tequila yeah and then the second season she was like

"No way, you don't get to come in here." - The second season you could tell she watched- - She was over it. - She watched her first season and was like, "I need to button it up a little bit." But then in the second season, all the girls were like, "Last season you were wet and wild, "and now you're trying to be like-" - Yeah, they would not let her forget. - Was she the one trying to conceal a secret lesbian affair? - Yes, with Brandi Glanville. - Which who wouldn't? Who wouldn't fuck Brandi Glanville? I mean, come on, Brandi, if you're watching this, gorgeous, stunning, AP tall model. - Yes, we would all fuck you. - We would all wanna fuck you. - It doesn't even make you a lesbian, it makes you human.

Period. Period. Period. Period, boo. So we've obviously seen the Tati Westbrook return to YouTube. Oh my God. It's like better than I ever could have imagined. So your next, next character is Tati. I don't know if I could do that one. You have to find a way.

You're like, I can't suspend that level of disbelief within myself. No, we did her on, I mean, we were obsessed with her on Nympho Wars. Yes. You guys on Nympho Wars gave a like, it was like a, it was like a BBC, Ken Burns,

Like, post-doc thesis, like, behind the music. Behind music. Deep dive into the drama. And just to, like, fags that we knew. And, like, trans girls that are obsessed with her. Like, no actual professionals. But it was very professional. Just like, oh, so you took Halo? Yeah. Great. Get down here. Yes.

We have a scientist here now. Yeah, I'm still like, it was just so funny. Me and my friend Andrew would listen to the studio and like just howling, howling, howling, howling. And it's just, it's so bizarre. It's so bizarre, this 40-year-old woman and this 20-year-old boy. But, you know. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, it was, it's like, it's still like mind-blowing thinking that that happened. And then the return of her being like, well...

- Yeah, I am definitely haunted. I broke up with my husband. There was a weird switch up with the wedding ring. I sold it, I think. It's like-- - Yeah, and trying to close the door to the spiritual realm. - You know what's sad? - Good luck with that. - I do watch makeup videos. I make makeup videos.

- The quality of her videos, the sound of her voice, the way she reviews product, I actually love it. - It's hypnotic. - She is good at going, these are the 10 best products from Revlon you need to buy today and here's why. She is good at her job and so when you focus on the quality, it's like, she's amazing.

Free QVC in a way. - I've never seen a person close the door, shut the door on the spiritual realm looking that well lit. - And she looks incredible. - Oh my God. - Incredible. - And she's a great makeup artist. The makeup she does is beautiful. It's just crazy that again, people are this close to being so great and then hard left things. That whole thing, I mean, I know James, I guess. So I guess I'm biased, but like you, it's funny that like when you're gay and you hit on someone who might be straight, it's automatically an act of like sexual assault.

Right, right. Well, she was like- Having a gay person flirt on you is not the same- Flirt on you. I'm flirting on you. I'm flirting on you. Having a gay person flirt is not the same as like- Yeah, just wipe off your leg. Like, it's-

They're not flirting in a way that's like, oh, I guess over the line. I don't know. No, of course. No, she was like, she was like, how dare you disrespect heterosexuality? I think was like her, her vibe with that. And I think that, I mean, the, the emphasis is of not only sucking dick, but also cock. But also the cock. I can't forget about that. Sucking dick and cock. We, uh, yeah. That's another one. I think I said about 400 times. And then the Nympho Wars episode just kept repeating. Sucking dick and cock. Sucking dick and cock. Do y'all still do Nympho Wars? Uh,

- We stopped because of COVID and then we tried to do like a, we'll probably do this one. - You saw the Imagine video. - We saw the Imagine video. - Wrap up the proper. - The Kill Drag Race. - Oh yeah. - Three part series. - That one's two parts. - Two parts. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That is a ride. - Girl. - That is a ride. - Can I get one of those soda cups full of mayonnaise?

So, I mean, so is it Theta? Yes. Theta goes on Drag Race. Uh-huh. And then in... Because I can't stop. I'm infected with like Drag Race lingo. Oh, yes, because you get the lingo like, oh, fierce. And she can't...

It's so funny. Theta goes on Drag Race to kill RuPaul. Right. Yeah, and so that the spell will be broken and people don't have to stop talking annoying anymore. But then she's full of bugs. Right, but she kills all the judges too. Michelle, Carson, and Ross. And I think she kills Carson by finding him on Grindr in the hotel. And I mean, it's just...

Lunacy. It's lunacy. It's lunacy. And she has to sacrifice her best friend poop. Poop shoot. Poop shoot. Also, the drive-thru one, the number of fart sounds

Oh my God. Are you putting these in in real time? Well, we've made them all with like oatmeal and like this. You're kidding. Oh no. Oh, they sound so like a soundboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So at the end, Caitlyn Jenner is revealed to be one of the PAs or something and then gives

gives the data a ride home but you have to stop by Jack in the Box to order some and it's like a 20 minute 25 minutes of cheese yeah just ordering pizza and sour cream also everything you ask for they have yes they never were like no I don't have that I kept waiting for them to say no and they'd be like yeah we have that

Like ricotta cheese and shit. Like, yeah, we have that. Like, what? What? That's so funny. It's so funny. People have to listen. When you do your Kate videos, do you go into it? I mean, you obviously see something. Do you see something she does and then go like, I got to do my version of whatever that was? Well, I try not to go with like the news cycle because it's like, it's honestly like too fucked up.

fucked up most of the time it's like too sad or like just like you know she's being a terror and so I like I mean I did the list one but like I try to like only do it if I like think of something funny that like my Kate would do right because then it like stays fun like I'm not trying to do like hard-hitting satire like really like you know make the people think with comedy it's like no you want to like hear you're not trying to like sounds

Yeah, you're not trying to like do a hot political take on her already. Right. Gotcha, Kate. She got herself. She got herself Gail. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If anything, I feel like you're going to have a humanizing effect. Yeah, I'm doing the other. I'm on her PR team. So you did the Kate list of whether or not you're trans had some that were, I mean,

I think I could probably list them all in order right now. Apple Paltrow called you a target. And then Jaden Durer Fierce. When you said Jaden Durer Fierce, I mean, my hands were blown up. I was like Zelda and Poltergeist. Like, just racket. You have some evidence of you entering a Days Inn dressed as Theresa May? Like, what in the fight? Sometimes you just fall over. What?

Sorry, this is gonna be so obnoxious. But I can't help it. - We just love it. We love you, we love you. What are you doing here in LA? - So my stepsister was getting married in Palm Springs and then I went to LA after. - Cool. Oh, Palm Springs is lit, although-- - Literally. - God damn it's hot right now. - It's so fucking hot, yeah.

I mean, they're from Juneau, so they were just like, it was like, we're outside for 10 minutes, and then they ordered Domino's pizza, and like, that was the wedding. Oh, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, it was fun. That's a great wedding. Yeah, it's so beautiful, though. We love Palm Springs. Yeah. Yeah, but I can't do that. I mean, it's...

120. I was just telling her I'm doing this motel renovation show there. And because of permits, they're like, we might have to push further into fall. I'm like, push it. Yeah. Do it. Push it. Push it all the way into winter. August. Yeah. I was looking at the weather and it was like one in the morning in Palm Springs and it was a hundred. Very. In August.

No, we were in the parking lot at night and you could like feel it rising up from the fucking sidewalk. It was crazy. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how Bianca. Well, that's how Bianca stays so thin. Yeah. Her place is fiercely air conditioned. Honey. But the bill. Mary. The electric bill. Oh my God. I bet. It's like $4,000. I just got my air conditioner fixed.

It's never been colder. Oh, yeah. I was in my house. Do people not have ACs in LA? No, it's just mine was breaking consistently. And so it got it finally fixed. And when I come into my house now,

I also keep all the windows closed during the day. That's the killer. You want your house to, I mean, I'm in my house in multiple sweaters. Yeah, no, my house, my AC is blasting 24-7. 24-7. 24-7. Not a moment. No. Everybody knows, Tracy knows, if we go somewhere and it's not air conditioned-

The mood in the room changes very quickly. That's when the spirit starts to dislodge from the body. I mean, it is rotten. I can go from a Powerpuff Girl to Patsy Stone pretty quickly as far as demeanor. When it's hot, I'm like... Yeah, I go from Lisa Kudrow to the Crypt Keeper immediately. But also, it's like a switch, though. If I feel a bead of sweat,

- Yeah. - There's no going back. - Tick, tick, tick. - It's like, 'cause then I start to panic and then it's just like-- - Well, you know, once it starts, it's like really hard to stop sweating unless you truly-- - You can't stop sweating. - Sit in air conditioning and don't move for 20 minutes. - Yeah, you have to take off the wig, like air it out, like. - When it gets hot, I turn into Michelle on the cover of her documentary.

Did you know this? I haven't seen it yet. Michelle Visage on the cover of her documentary book. I haven't seen the cover. I'm going to show it to you. She does a doc about getting her breast implants removed. And the cover they chose, I haven't seen the film, I'm sure it's great.

- The cover they choose. - Oh my God. - This is the cover. - But hold on. - She looks great, honestly. - She's gorgeous. And I'm sure it's a really interesting film. - Yeah, but it's so grim. - But the cover they choose. - Yeah, it looks like a like, Todd Haynes. - Yeah, yeah. Palliative princess, it's like so bad. It's so grim and it's so like, Michelle. - You survived. - It's seeking a friend for the end of the world. - Yeah. - It's really, it's so funny. - What is that? A Fault in Our Stars about the sick girl? - Oh my God. - It's that.

It's next level. You would think that this is a movie about stage four leukemia. Did you see the Sarah Silverman on SNL thing where they were making fun of Fault in Our Stars and all those like Walk to Remember movies? No. And it was like, yeah, it's like, he's like, oh, you have cancer? She's like, I have Ebola. And he's like...

- Nevermind. - Oh yeah, 'cause in those movies they never have something contagious obviously. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh. - Those movies make me very sad. - Contagious movies? - No, I watch any movie where it's like teenagers and it's like a budding romance but one of them is horribly sick. I'm sucked in. I watch them on the planes a lot and I'm just like, oh!

What was the movie? Something in Earl and the Dying Girl. Do you know that one? Nobody? Girl with the Dying Earring. Crying on an airplane. Crying on an airplane. Yeah. I mean, what's the saddest movie you've ever seen? What's the one that makes you like... Stepmom. Stepmom is a little sad, though. It's so sad. Is it really? Oh, she dies. Susan Sarandon. In her replacement. Yeah, there's a part where she is talking to her daughter and just like telling her I'm going to die. Or Solo in the 120 Days of Sodom.

Shazam. Shazam. Shazam. Shazam. Yeah, I thought of Space Jam too. What else? Air Bud. Air Bud. Clock Watchers was pretty bad. Oh my God. But Pitch Perfect. Oh yeah, Pitch Perfect too. That was a real tearjerker. I just watched all of those during quarantine. I made this wig and I was just like hand nodding like watching Pitch Perfect. Do you like acapella singing? Do you really? No. No.

I hate it. It's like, yeah. Well, I don't hate, I mean, I don't know. I don't think, I mean, shoot me in the eye, but I don't think like acapella or like an acapella choir, like a jazz choir, a swing choir or whatever. I don't want to see that. Why was that? Why did that have such a moment? I don't know. Well, I mean. Oh, I think it's retro white nostalgia. Oh.

- Okay. - It's also like that was, their acapella was good 'cause it was all about their creative mashups. - Right. - And mashups are such a big part of like DJs and shit like that. - People love a mashup. - Yeah, it was like EDM, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. - So I don't know. Anna Kendrick, I mean, the singing is beautiful. There's some great singers in that movie, of course. - Yeah.

I don't hate that movie. Yeah, I don't like singers. So you have an album. Oh, yeah. Love me. Yeah. The cover art. Stunning. Oh, yeah. Well, is there a real picture? It's a real picture. Yeah. I mean, it's shopped, but yeah. Like you're laid out. And I was like, it almost looks like a drawing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I yeah, I mean, I got bottom surgery over quarantine. So I was like.

Just letting it out. You're like, I need to lever everybody in your personal life. You're like, you're about to see this. Yeah. This is my Gucci bag. This is my Ferrari. No shit. Get used to it. You're all about to see it. Is it too crazy for me to ask about what that was like? No, I mean, it was supposed to be a year. It was supposed to be like next year.

And they moved it to September 2020 and they told me in July. - You got a Disney Fast Pass? - I had to quit smoking. I had to like cold turkey because you need like two months for your circulation. It doesn't heal right if you're smoking up until the day. - Are you an enthusiastic smoker?

So mid quitting, we like, is this worth it? No. Yeah. So, I mean, it was at NYU. It was totally paid for by New York Medicaid.

It was so incredible. I don't know. I got a really lucky break because I know someone who went to the same surgeon, same hospital the next week and they had a really fucked up recovery where they had to go back in and like...

But mine, like honestly, like three weeks later, it was like... Perfect pussy. You used up the last of the good energy. Yeah, exactly. You said, that's my friend. I don't care what happens to her. But this better be right. You do a bump at...

Get in there. And you didn't have to travel for it. I know a lot of girls have to do exotic trips. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was honestly like a staycation. You got to go heal at home. Yeah, it was like I was on the East River like in this crazy, just watching Moana over and over again on like painkillers. Like it was crazy. What was the recovery period? Three months. Okay. And then I got fucked for the first time on Christmas. Work.

Like couldn't be like, that is a fairy tale. You're living a fairy tale, like charmed life. Absolutely. Damn. Yeah. Christmas came on time. Yeah. Also, what an advantageous time to get it. I know. Girl, what the fuck else is going on? Yeah. I wish I would've gotten more surgeries. I know. I should get a pussy next time we go back. If we go into lockdown again, I'm going to get a pussy. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to smoke though. I'm going to smoke. I'll take my chances. During the surgery. Is everything going good? Are we done? Yes. I'm tired. Do you smoke cigarettes now? I do.

When did you start smoking cigarettes? 13, 14. Okay. How many cigarettes do you smoke a day? Average. I'm pretty, I'm like, I've cut down to like maybe half a pack a day. Oh, that's great. Do you smoke it all the way to the filter?

That depends. Uh-huh. Yeah. Sometimes I'll just take a few and, you know. Me too. This one with her TV money, I've seen her take two puffs and throw the damn thing. Yeah, you know, it's like, because cigarettes are famously expensive. She'll, oh, we have to go back in? Full cigarette. Throw it. Into a tree, into a dry tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need dry brush. Oh, yeah. You have a collection of, like, dry leaves and garbage. Like, this is an orphanage. Yeah.

No, I mean, it's like, I mean, they're famously expensive, but it's just, it's about the, it's not even about the, I need a cigarette. It's just that I need to get out of here for a moment. Yeah. And sometimes it's just like a one or two can take you there. Yeah.

It's the illusion. It's like, I need to feel like I have some control over my life through this horrible thing that's going to kill me. Yeah, it's kind of like better if you, I don't know, if you are like, well, I'm probably never going to like quit ever, like forever. So then I can like stop for periods of time and then like get back to it. Yeah.

I don't know. - It's like reading a book. - It's like reading a book. - Yeah, you put it down for a while. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I quit for a couple of years and then I felt like I would never

I would never start again. - Yeah. - And I sure did. - Well, when we did Drag Race for the first time, you didn't walk in a smoker. - No. Oh, ginger. - Really? - It was ginger. - This whore overnight turned back into like a pack a day. - Yeah, three. - Well, being on a TV show, I'm sure. - Yes, because for some reason still, and I don't know why, in life or in professional environments, it is acceptable to go have cigarette breaks. - Yeah.

Whereas if a person's like, I need to go look at the wall or like I need to have my little muffin break or my little, nothing. No, you can't do that. If I was in an office and I just said, I'm going to go stand outside for 10 minutes, it'd be like, you need to get more serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think this is a joke? We're paying you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it's somehow acceptable for people to be like, well, I'm addicted. It's like, well,

Yeah. Great. Don't want you to go off the rails. Maybe you should go like to, they should, you know, I just got to go in the bathroom and shoot up for 10 minutes. Yeah. We all know how much I love accommodating addicts. Let's take a break. And we're back. And we're back. Thank you, Macy, for joining us.

Let's have some more riveting conversation. Yeah. Should we take our questions for Macy? Hi, Macy. Hi, Macy. Yeah. I have a question for Kate. Kate, how many helicopters do you own? Full size or mini? Important distinction. What's the difference? Mini's like a size of a jar of mayonnaise.

Real size or standard Blackhawk down, you know. Okay, and how, you don't really have much experience in politics, yet you are, you're running. Well, that's what you'd think, but I'd say Fox News, Hannity, all that stuff. You know, I've clocked in a lot of hours. It's almost like a law degree.

Almost. Kind of like a public service. I don't know. I tell a lot of people what I think and kind of like a politician. What would be some of your policy? What's your platform? Well, I've said over and over again, we don't need health care. We don't need welfare. We can put that back into this train I'm working on. This train that goes all the way around, up and down.

It's going to be real good, but we can't keep paying people's bills and keeping their lights on. They could just work at the train station. I don't know what's wrong with people these days, but you've got to put your back into it.

So, but sometimes people, you know, Caleb, people, you're born into money. You know, you have a lot of money. Well, I wouldn't go that far. Would you say that you're self-made? Well, you know, I guess you'd have to give my doctor some of the credit. But for the most part, you know, my bank account speaks for itself. I worked hard for that. I ran a lot of laps, jumped a couple of times, and...

Oh, I have a question. Do you think Sha'Carri? Sha'Carri? Sha'Carri. The athlete? Oh, oh, oh. Sha'Carri. Oh, yes. Recently there was a track and field athlete who was suspended for smoking weed. What do you think about that? What do you think about that? Do you think they should let her be at the Olympics? In my day, we were smoking dope. We were rolling doobies and nobody really knew about it. They didn't have CSI back then. So I feel bad for her.

But, you know, I guess you got to be careful. These kids are taking nudes and stuff on their phone. I just, you know, I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry for that gal. Have you ever sent out a nude? Well, it was more of a sketch. And I think it was unsolicited. But, you know, it never resurfaced.

I kept just... I can say with Shaqari... Is it Shaqari? Is that how you say it? Shaqari. Shaqari, I don't know. Obviously respect the athleticism. Electing to run in a wig. And nails. And nails. And lashes. Yes. Long, long lashes, right? Welcome back. Oh my God, where did she go? She's in the bathroom. Sorry. How does she... I mean...

I mean, I know. I mean, that was such a tragedy that she got disqualified. Like just, I mean, it's fucking legal everywhere. Like what? Like change the rule. Can you drink alcohol and be the Olympics? I don't know. Do they test your blood for alcohol? Is that stupid? Well, you, I mean, but that goes away in what? A matter of hours. But I mean, marijuana doesn't do worse things to your body than alcohol. So that's what's backwards from the athletics viewpoint. It's like,

- Marijuana's not making anyone a better athlete. - No, it's anything. It's more impressive if you smoke weed and can run like that. - Yeah, she ran the fastest and she's got a huge coke problem. That's different. - Yeah, it's different. - I'll be out in a minute. That's different. - Yeah, it's not fucking steroids. What is the issue? - I don't know. - Yeah, there's the whole, I mean, but the-- - I guess it's like a morality clause or something like that. I don't know. - She's also not white.

which is a huge part of it. There are three athletes recently to be banned from the Olympic Center. None of them are white folks. Yeah, it feels super targeted. It's crazy. It's hard to get necessarily an informed decision or POV on it because I know so little about sports and athletics. That's why we're so good at talking about it. That's why we're so... I don't ever claim to be right. I just like talking. LAUGHTER

If you could be the best in the world at any sport for a year, what would it be? I used to be on the swim team. I love swimming. Okay. But I'm not good at it anymore. No. So, yeah. What was the swim team like? In high school? Yeah. It was fun. Do you guys listen? Because I always think I've never, I can't really even swim. When people swim laps. Really? Not really. Oh. When people swim laps like that, you obviously don't have headphones in. Yeah. You're just, do people like it? Sometimes I play music in the pool. Oh.

What? Like under the water, yeah. How do you do that? I don't know. They have speakers down there. You just plug it in and throw it in the water? Yeah, I got my iPod. Huge food box, just drop it in with the kids in the water. Yeah, it follows. I loved that movie. That's so fucking good. That was a really good one. It's so good. That movie got me together. That's the one where you have to fuck...

You gotta fuck someone to get rid of it. To get rid of it. Yeah, it's like an STD demon. Yeah, STD like demon. Or is it a parable about something? Well, in real life, when you have an STD, fucking people does not get rid of it. Let me tell you. Oftentimes spreads it. Oh, and then the naked man on the roof.

- Yes. - That was a great shot. - And the part where she's in high school in class daydreaming and she sees the woman walking across the- - Chilling. - It's a chilling like- - So scary. - Or the woman just comes in and she just starts pissing all over the floor in the kitchen. - Yeah, I felt like that movie was a read of me for like my future. It's like- - But you never get STIs. - No, no, I'm the people.

Like I'm the, I'm the naked man on the roof. I'm the woman pissing. I'm the, it'd be so fun to play one of those. I would, I would die. It would be so great. Yeah. But we work at Netflix. We're always like, give us some walk on, like, yeah,

Sabrina demon role in the back. Let's just let us be gross for a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we're so used to being gorgeous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, it's hard when you... I would love to make my dream, like, my Hollywood dream would be, like, try to do gigs until I'm 60. I'll finally get one and it'll be, like, a Hannibal Lecter, like, bit parts or something like that. I can't wait to be, like...

either very old and haggard or so much surge that I'm just like, can only play weird David Lynch characters. - David Lynch characters, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You don't look 31 though. - What is, wait you're 31. - Maybe 25, maybe? - You're 31. - Really? - Yeah, I'm 31 and we're on different trajectories here.

You look like the cheese in the fridge you buy to replace the old cheese in the fridge. I look like the old cheese in the fridge. I've just recently gotten into injectables like...

Are you popping off? I've been going off. I'm almost at level. Do you count that as work done? Because I feel that in LA people go, I haven't done anything done. But then they're pumped to hell and it's like. I do because I mean, I mean, well, I don't know. No, I don't know. I get Botox, but I never feel like that. Does that count? I just think of work done as going under the knife. Do veneers count? That's going under the knife. Veneers count. But that's a dental thing.

I love your veneers. Thank you. I want veneers. I love them. They're so cool. I didn't think I had bad teeth, I guess living in delusion, but I liked my teeth. And then my doctor was like, oh, I saw you on TV. You're doing veneers. Oh my God. So then they give me the temper. And you know why I knew I had bad teeth? When they grabbed the video camera to show me in the mirror. I was like,

- Okay, my teeth are so bad that this is where-- - What do you mean? - They grabbed a video camera to watch me react to my own teeth. - Oh, when they were done. - I'm on like a Tyra Meff makeover situation. - Oh shit. - Oh my God. They're like, "You're gonna wanna remember this." - Yeah, they're like, "We need a viral tear moment." - I didn't know I was ugly. That kind of thing. - You know what? I did cry though. - You did cry? - I liked my teeth, but when I saw these, I was like,

It was like, I just felt like, I don't know what. Like, nice teeth are such a luxury of like, I think of like rich kids in high school who had like Invisalign. Yeah, could never get braces. Braces. They're too expensive. Yeah. They are very expensive. They're like $2,000. Girl, Invisalign was $7,000. What? $7,000. It works. And my teeth were, my teeth are $2,600 a tooth.

And I got eight. That's the thing. Yeah. That's... It's a lot. It's crazy. But I also did Invisalign first to straighten the bottom row. So it was like that. Oh, okay. It is... This is my Prius. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My teeth are my car. But this will last... Eight or ten weeks. Yeah, as long as you stay with...

And when I did, with the bar fighting I do, I did Jimmy, I had the temporaries on and then I did Jimmy Kimmel that night. What do you mean the temporaries? So because they make your teeth like overnight, the ceramic real teeth. So you have the little shaved down? No, they put a temporary cap on them. The cone head nubs, or no. So like overnight, while someone overnight makes them, they put a temporary cap on your teeth so that they look normal. Right.

but you can't really chew hard food and I'm getting in drag and I guess when I get in drag, I grind my teeth and I didn't know that. So I'm putting makeup on, getting ready for Jimmy Kimmel and I hear a snap and my front two teeth just crumble off.

- Yes, I called the dentist's office and I go, "I have to go to Jimmy Kimmel in an hour and I don't have front teeth." And they were like, "Okay, well-" - I don't think I've heard this before. I can't believe I haven't heard this before. - Just the bottom snapped off. So, I mean, it wasn't so noticeable. Like, might've been for Kimmel, it wouldn't be fine, but. By the way, I'm so country. I'm like, "The front two teeth are missing. It wasn't bad." - It was fine. - It was cool. - It wasn't noticeable. - I look like a hot girl from Florida.

- From Panama City Beach. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Thank God. - And so then they come to, the two, my dentist assistant and the other assistant come to my house and I'm in drag in my makeup room and they're gluing the teeth back on. - Oh my God. - Damn. - And I looked out. - It's like, it's acrylics, it's press-ons. - Entirely, that was my plan B.

- Well, I just saw my dad for the first time in a long time and his teeth, I swear to God, are like shorter than, they like have shrunk. I'm like, you're chewing on rocks or something? What is happening? - Maybe he's filing them down at night. - He's like, "Macy, it's nice to see you." You're like, "What is up with your teeth? "What is wrong with you?" - Teeth are tough. - Get veneers before you try to talk to me. - Yeah, I'm fully pumped right now. You couldn't get up to veneer?

I think my teeth are going to fall out one day all at once. I think it's just going to be like great, great, great, great. You don't have an ear for this, do you? No, no. Let me get you into this. Yeah. Lifelong smoker. Like chemical drug user. I mean, just sugar addict. I mean, my teeth are not perfect, but I've never had a cavity. Me neither. Yeah. Mary. It's crazy. Meth, smoking. Everything. Literally everything. No water. Yeah. This is the first water I've had all month. Yeah. It's crazy. And then no, like I haven't, I went to...

seven years without going to the dentist once and then I went I was like it's going to be the wrecking ball they're going to say okay we'll make an appointment for the wrecking ball to smash your face and just nothing no cavities my mom got gingivitis and like had to get

the whole thing plaster or whatever teeth like the shit one plaster plaster drywall she tried to make them herself it was plaster again I walked in the kitchen and she had ripped up newspaper and glue and I said mom what are you doing yeah they just went to Skittles and then threw it in the paper mache yeah she had a bag of white M&M's and I was like what are you doing ah

But the veneers are tough too though because sometimes they're so blindingly white and so perfect that it's like, you know. Well, they told me some rules. They said you're not supposed to go too much whiter than the whites of your eyes. Oh. So I should do like a red? Yeah. Yeah. A gray brown. Gray red. Yeah. Damn. Well, I told them I said I wanted Wisconsin white, so LA gray. Yeah.

Because I brought in pictures of drag race queens and said, this is what I don't want. This is also what I don't want. It's because the labels are jacked. They're blue. Blue-white tiles just perfectly in a row. It's crazy. And also being bald and a little old-looking, I've seen all...

old Caucasian rich gay men who have two youthful of teeth. And it's Friday, it's five nights at Freddy's. It's too much. - I love it. It's so good. When people have like, I think Taylor Swift got teeth like around 1989 era and they were just, they looked like those like, the like good toy teeth that like chomp up and down. - She should have wrote, you need to calm down before getting this. - To our dentist. - Yes, you need to calm down. - It's nice because you see them having to like,

close their mouth you know what i mean like they have to like yeah they have to learn how to talk yeah yeah new challenges uh fifi i was a fee i think fifio harrah when we did all stars two she had gotten her teeth like maybe days before she left and she was like still kind of trying to settle into them like couldn't close her mouth right you know although i got eight of them and the dentist told me she was like when you get your teeth done and it changes your speech considerably

- It's because they're not good veneers. That's what she said. She said that it shouldn't change your, she said they shouldn't take up that much more space in your mouth. They should be really like- - The same. - Pretty much. - Yeah. - But maybe that's just her being uppity. - Yeah, yeah, maybe, yeah. - I saw that your friend can't talk, cheap. You know, I don't know. - Your ugly, poor friends.

- I saw that they wanted to look like a rich person. - If it was up to Caitlin, everyone would have veneers. - Yeah, that's true. - In a helicopter. - Yeah, that's her foray into socialized medicine. - Yes. - Yeah, we'll get your teeth, honey. - Veneers and tits, yeah. - Instead of like, what is it, Smile Club? The smile train where they're fixing hair lifts. She's in the Serengeti giving people veneers.

No, no, no drinkable water. No. She's flying in dentists and giving people veneers. Yeah, like microdermabrasion. Lashes. Lashes. Latisse. Latisse. Oh my God. All right. Well, I think we should probably wrap it up. We are.

we are so fortunate to have you oh my god thank you so much for coming i'm such a fan would you ever come back we just i had a blast i don't know that's like when you have a hookup and you go we should do this again and whether or not the person wants to they have to go yeah sure yeah yeah let me get your number i'll find it somewhere yeah i think i saw you on instagram um i would love to do this again and then she pointed out to me like that

That doesn't mean anything because of course they're going to say yes in front of you. Yeah. Nobody's ever going to be like, like forcefully confrontational to your face. Like, actually, this is not that great for me. Would you do this again? Absolutely not. Yeah. Like no fucking way. You fucking cheap tooth monster. Someone lied to her several times. This was so fun. This was so fun.

- It's so fun. - Tell the children where they find you online. - Oh yeah, @MaceyRodman on Twitter and Instagram and my next single is called Rock and Roll Gay Guy and it's coming out on August 5th on Accidental Popstar Records. - Yes! - And go stream Love Me, it's a great song. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was Rainbow Spotlight of the Week. - It's gorge. Big poolside energy, poolside vibes. You give body, oddy, oddy, leg, leg, leg. It is so great in the videos, yeah.

Awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you. And good luck with the governor's race. Thanks. Bye. Bye.

Oh,