Please Meet My Fur Coat, Her Name is Darlene with Darian Darling
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Hello. Hi there. Good afternoon. Thank you for coming. It's a pleasure to be here. Are you Katya? Yes, I am. Wonderful. And who are you? I'm Trixie Mattel. What are we doing? We're doing the Bald and the Beautiful. It's a podcast. Yeah. And today we have a guest who, oh my God. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Jesus. A makeup artist. What the fuck? A New York nightlife legend. A creative iconoclast. A visionary. A vision of love.

A blonde bombshell. Yes, I mean this in a good way. Somebody you see once and literally never forget. True. The look is striking. The smell will never wash out of your clothes. We have Darian Darling here today. Hi, Darian. Hi, everybody. So thank you for having me on the show. I'm so excited. I think you're both hysterical and I can't wait to get into it. We're going to get right into it. I think it's funny the way you guys try.

Oh my God. No, you're both geniuses. Are you kidding? Please. Thank you. Um, icons. You just gave a home tour. Yes. Oh yeah. So I was, I was, um, fortunate enough to get a little, um,

Better Homes and Gardens tour of Darien's Palace. And also, I didn't get to see the Amanda Lepore statue, which apparently is outside in the garden area. Yes, I'll take you on a tour for that afterwards. By the fire pit and jacuzzi and pool, we had a custom Amanda Lepore statue made by a dear friend of mine that's outstanding. And he made me a little mini one that goes in my...

So you're clearly a very poor woman and living in dire straits. She's barely getting by. She doesn't have amenities. She might not have a home. She might not have electricity, but she has an Amanda Lepore statue, folks. What lipstick are you wearing right now? Two of them. Two of them. What lipstick are you wearing right now? My go-to, Maybelline Romantic. It's that super stay in matte ink. I don't want to embarrass you. I don't want to list your accolades. So let's just start at the top. Maybelline. List them. She's a makeup artist for Maybelline.

Yeah, I work backstage and all their shows and do other I designed their face chart and do all their face charts for product packaging and during fashion week, whatever they need a face shirt for. I am generally the one to do it. Isn't that crazy? That's insane. How long you been doing makeup for?

professionally makeup i've been doing for 21 years oh wow so since she was one years old yeah since i was one 21 years yeah it's crazy i mean it's crazy i mean i don't even know how to conceptualize the fact that when you work for such a global brand like maybelline where everybody from a 13 year old to your grandma wears maybelline yeah your impact darian

It's pretty chic. Like I've seen, I've had friends that have been random places in the Midwest at a Walmart. I'm not sure exactly why. Shopping, obviously, but I'm not sure why they were there. But send me photos of the Maybelline aisle and there's my face charts in the Maybelline aisle. Like it's pretty chic. Fabulous. And I used to work for Mac. Wow.

before that many moons ago and I did all their face charts. Now when you say doing a face chart, I'm very stupid. What does that mean? So it's like a blank template of a face, like a blank coloring book page that you will then, that are primarily used at a makeup counter. So when someone comes and gets their makeup done, you can, as the makeup artist that's working, fill out everything that you used on them, where to put it, yada, yada, yada.

Pretty basic. But then you can take it and elevate it into like a really beautiful painterly art form, which is

What I would have to think I do. And so if I'm like, I'm starting out, my name is Leslie and I've just been hired at Mac and I'm, I come all in black and I'm very excited and I'm 10 minutes early and I have to do a face chart. And, and do you, am I using the Mac brush in the Mac makeup on the paper? Yeah, it's all done with makeup. They train you how to do it. I mean, obviously I've been drawing and painting since I was like four years old. So it's,

You kind of have a knack for it. People that have can paint or draw or do something generally pick it up pretty quick. People that are not artistically talented like that struggle with a little bit more, but they train you and do all that. Yeah. Let me let me ask you this, though, or tell you this, because I also have a painterly background, but I struggle.

Big time with the makeup. Do you think you do? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, my name is Leslie and I struggle. No, really though. I would draw and paint since I was little, little, little and work very well. But when I started to do makeup on the different, because it was on a face with the bra, I just, it's not been easy. I'll just say that. I just wanted to say that. I mean, I feel like once you learn like the different products and like how they mix and blend and like the different,

and what happens on the face, it kind of comes to you. Yeah, it never came to me. It's still coming, I guess, slowly. You always look amazing, though. What are you talking about? On my face, though. I mean, if I had to do somebody else's makeup, it's just... Oh, on someone else's face. Well, that's a whole different bag of cats. I mean, doing makeup on yourself is one thing. Doing it on someone else is a completely different story. Who's the last person? The pressure, the...

No, no, sorry. Who's the last person you did the face of? Who's the last person whose makeup you did? Well, I did makeup for Trixie's new eyeshadow palette. That was the last job I had. Oh my God, you sure did. Not to be stupid, but I forgot that we just, this comes out Friday. Darian did the campaign. The whole thing. Yeah, she didn't do mine, but she did the other model. For Daytime Realness? Yeah, and she fucking snapped. Darian did three completely different looks. Thank you.

on this young person who had never modeled before. Wow. No, and is flawless. Flawless. Yeah. Well, young person. Yeah, Darian does. If you ever check a Trixie Cosmetics campaign, if it's not my makeup, Darian pretty much did it. Yeah. We're very fortunate to have her. And now with COVID, Darian shows up in the full ET hazmat suit. Like Naomi Campbell at the airport. It is complete torture. Working as a makeup artist in the pandemic is...

I hate it because not only do I wear glasses, but then I have the mask. The mask fogs up the glasses. I need the glasses to see. But then I also have to have the face shield over all of that, which then also fogs up. And you see your face reflected back to you.

So it's like barely see to do the makeup. Oh my God. It's agony. But you know, I don't want any, I don't want to die and I don't want the client to die. So very considerate of you. But you know what though? Dying for the look kind of chic. It is. That's right. You're right. Darian's look. If you guys could see Darian in real life, how would you describe your day to day fashion and makeup?

Um, as of now, it's basically a hot pink lip, a little brown smudgy something around the eye, mascara, lots of blush. That's it. No eyebrows. I have bangs, so I never do anything with my eyebrows. Who cares? Yeah, and totally nude. Oh, and then my day look.

since moving from New York to Los Angeles, you know, it's much more of a forced casual kind of lifestyle out here. So I fully embraced, I'm like, how do I do forced casual LA like athletic wear, but like make it me and fabulous and like Barbie and fun. So I'm like eighties track suits. Yes. Just channel like 1989, like mom and sassy, but like make it Barbie and glamorous. Yeah. Yeah. So I was on eBay procuring the track suit hunt.

on eBay like a maniac like scrolling scrolling scrolling looking looking trying to find just the right one that has the right pop and the right wow because there's a lot of really ugly ones oh yeah how much does that tracks like that run you on eBay

60 bucks. 60 bucks. Oh, that's great. Yeah. And she'll style it with like a pump. I love a track suit with a pump. Yeah. Which is so deranged. A matching pump. Yeah. With a pump. It's amazing. I mean, I also love a heel by a pool.

That's just so stupid and ridiculous. Yes, totally. Like that buckle up video of Amanda's when she's in the hot tub and she hangs up the phone and steps out naked wearing just pumps. She's in the tub with pumps on. That's fantastic.

Now I have to ask, when you worked at Mac in New York, you worked at the Pro Store. You must have had the who's who and the celebs of celebs every day in that store. Oh, it was probably the best place to work. Burnt Reynolds? Burnt Reynolds. Liza Minnelli, Demi Harry. Was Liza what you wanted?

It was pretty. I met her twice, actually. Once at Mac, years prior, and then once backstage at Gaga's Monster Ball show. And like we got a photo together. That was pretty amazing. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Darian used to do Lady Gaga's makeup. Excuse me. What now? Who? Hi. Hello. I never really did her makeup, but I was just kind of like a friend and a muse and...

She was a friend of the pod. Entourage. Friend of the pod. Daring you to do me. Yes. Daring you to do me. I mean, I don't want to tell your whole story. Please. What do you think she's here for? She's got makeup for everyone, for everything. She's being modest. Didn't she just do a Prada campaign last year? Prada? No, I worked on a Gucci campaign. I worked on Thomas DeCiver's makeup campaign, which was the global artist for Gucci. And I worked with Yadim, their prior global makeup artist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know him.

He's one of my best friends. We used to be roommates way back in the day in New York. He's the reason why I got the Maybelline gig because he was the global makeup artist for Maybelline. And he's like, that space chart sucks. We need a new one. So it was like, I know the perfect person brought me in and then brought me into the backstage pro team. And wow. I mean, amazing. I've done like makeup artists dream of having the career you've had. It's crazy.

I mean, externally, I'm sure it probably looks that way. Of course, me in my own head, I'm like, have I done anything? Have I done anything? Am I trash? Am I a flop? No. Oh, my God. No. But I've done. I've had a good life. I've lived a charmed life. Do you? So I'm curious about like the I mean, it seems like when you say like I've done the makeup for a Gucci campaign, that sounds like one of the most glamorous things you can say. Yeah.

Well, I'm on the makeup team. I'm on the makeup team. Okay, so you're on the makeup team. But is the day-to-day, I think about what is the actual nuts and bolts of the day-to-day of that? It's like, are you carrying tons of cases? Are you cleaning all these brushes? All of the above. Everything you could imagine. Oh my God. Wow.

I've heard someplace that, I don't know if it's like a legend or whatever, that Pat McGrath travels with like 84 suitcases. Oh yeah, that's facts. I think like four of them are just books. Okay, what is that? What are they filled with? Reference books. I mean, and makeup and, you know, I mean, her makeup is so, you know, she uses anything and everything. So it's glitters, it's vinyl, it's things you can cut out and, you know, and

A lot of the times, you know, these clients aren't telling you like what they want before you get there. So you kind of have to just like show up with everything. And of course, she's like more old school, like before the Internet where you can like Google shit. But a lot of a lot of great images aren't available online. They're like in old books that you can't get anymore. So like carrying around.

Tons of fashion books, art books. So you can just pull references and like you have to know references. From a book. So she says, go to suitcase number 52, get book number 8, page 39, green gables and flip it open to chapter four. Any top fashion makeup artist is like at least traveling with a few books in their kit.

Wow. Interesting. That's like standard. Darian, I've seen your kit in real person. I feel like it's fairly modest considering your status as a very decorated makeup artist. I try to keep it pretty. Everything I have is in there that I need to do pretty much anyone, but I don't like to carry a whole bunch of shit. Yeah. I hate to jump around, but I just have so many questions. Darian is literally friends with Debbie Harry. Really? Yes. What is she like?

She is so amazing. She's like my New York City fairy godmother. She's everything you could want her to be and just like so fabulous. I've spent many Christmases with her. Wow. Oh my God. Yeah, she's fabulous. She gave me the Debbie Harry Barbie for Christmas one year that was signed that's like

She always gives me like blondie merch. Oh my God. Easy to shop for. I love gifting stuff with your own face on it. I think that's genius. Oh yeah, that's chic. Oh yeah, it's very chic. If she can't get you a track suit, you bought them all. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

I saw her at the live. It was like an anniversary for Hairspray, the movie. And there was a panel and she was on it and she wore the fiercest wig and she was so cunt. Yeah. Debbie loves wearing a wig hat in the rain. So instead of like a rain hat, she'll just wear a wig.

I have a photo of us together. I'll send you after this with her. I was doing like some hosting some club in New York and she came and someone snapped a photo of us, but it was raining and she's wearing this like

mom wig as a housework. Oh, genius. Oh, so it's not even like a long glam wig. It's like a, Oh my God. It's like the short brown wig that Nicole Kidman wore in the ice bucket challenge video. Yeah. It's so good. It's hysterical. She's such a kook. That's what I love. It's like, she's such a kook. She still thinks it's like the seventies and she's like, she's just like the best kooky lady. Wow.

Now, when you lived in New York, how did you become like a sim? How did you become inseminated? Apparently, that's what I was going to say. How did you become like a overnight sort of like nightlife persona there? Well, I moved there to do makeup. So I was doing makeup in San Francisco at Nordstrom, worked for Clinique first and then MAC. Clinique.

Honey, that's a story. I'll get back to that. Clinique and then back. We told you not to wear the pink pumps with the tracksuit, Darian. Put on the white lab coat. No, I had to wear the white lab coat with the off-white hosiery and like black pumps. And let me tell you, as a 19-year-old, that's not what you want to be wearing. Mrs. Doubtfire. Off-white hosiery. Oh, it was just the worst. You had to have your hair pulled back. I mean, it was... Kind of chic, though. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew

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But yeah, so I was working for Mac and made like was really successful in my market for Mac. So then I was like, fuck this. I'm going to move to New York. So I always wanted to move to New York. So moved to New York, started working in Mac pro, which you meet everyone. I mean, everyone who's anyone is coming in there. Every makeup artist from every field, Broadway, you know, fashion, film and TV, like all their assistants, like you just meet everybody. Cause what's at the Mac pro store. That's not at the regular Mac store. Like what all like,

the body painting stuff, the glitters, like the crazy color paint sticks, like all that kind of stuff. Even normal shades of, like there are shades of lipstick and eyeshadow and blush that are only post-store. Different colors. Like really dark foundation colors. And the post-stores aren't advertised, right? I mean, I remember the first time I went there in New York.

It's hard to... It's kind of... Times are tough. So the press store doesn't exist anymore. But back in the day, that New York location is actually word of mouth hidden. There was no signs or nothing. I remember me... Yeah, it was on the second floor of an office building. So you didn't know where it was. And this is like, you know, before the internet was really like a thing. So you had to know where it was. And mostly it was just like...

actors, models, makeup artists, people that shop there. And then you'd get some random like Mac fans or like whatever they become. Um, so I kind of met everybody through there. Amanda used to come in all the time and, um,

That was fun. So everyone, every nightlife person, Suzanne Barsh, you know, like everyone. So one of the chicks that I was working with, Lady Starlight, who is amazing. When I first met her, she looked like Peggy Moffat, like the model from the 60s. And then she transformed into Ziggy Stardust era David Bowie.

She would do these glam rock parties in the Lower East Side. So she was hosting all these and everyone had like a kooky character name. There was like Lady Starlight, Nana Copacabana, and Hollywood Star, and Breedlove. And she asked me to host one night. And I was like, oh God, well, I don't really have a name. Like,

I'm just Darian. I don't know. She's like, everyone always told me that I look like Candy Darling, who was one of Andy Warhol's factory superstars in the 60s, who was trans and died tragically from lymphoma that she got from the hormone, shady hormone pills that she was taking on the black market. But like flawless actress, amazing, gorgeous icon, trans icon.

And she's like, you're Darian Darling. Boom. So I hosted a couple of parties with her. And then she met Lady Gaga way before she was famous, like when she was still like brunette rocker chick. And they started collaborating together. So we were all forming this little scene and it was like Semi Precious Weapons, Justin's old band. And, yeah.

We were doing all these parties and then Suzanne and Kenny Kenny started inviting me to host parties. And then when Gaga exploded, it kind of put like a spotlight on our little crowd. And so then I was much more in demand and nightlife. And I think at one point I was doing like,

Six parties in like five days. I would do like a daytime pool, like rooftop thing and then go to another party. I did a brunch. I did an all you can drink brunch. Nothing is better than getting paid to eat and drink for free. Yeah. The best thing ever. Yeah. I used to love hosting parties because it,

It is a little boring compared to performing, but you do get to pull a look that doesn't have to move or sweat or like you can just put a lot of time into the look. Yeah. Yeah. And just chill, see and be seen. What were you looking like at that time? I mean, pretty much it's still blonde and glamorous, but I was doing like a little more like rock and roll kind of thing. Not so much track suits. I go through different phases like.

But always like with a rock and roll kind of like tough girl edge. I had like crazy hair metal hair at one point, like super like Vixen. Do you remember the band Vixen? That was like, I had that for a while. What's the upkeep on that kind of hairdo? How many cans of Aquanet? I mean, I was really for like a music video that I was in, but then like kind of lasted for a while. And then I had like a crazy like 80s mullet kind of thing. And then I had always blackheads.

always blonde and teased and glamorous and lots of leather, lots of spikes, you know, it was like 2010. So that's kind of what it was like in vogue. I did like a whole like Courtney love, like a grunge thing where I would just wear like pink baby doll nighties and flannels and like pearls and fishnets and leather. And yeah, that was pretty fun. And then I've always been obsessed with pink, of course.

But then when the Moschino Barbie collection came out, that was over. How did you afford it? Not to read, but how could you afford all those pieces? So I was making money doing makeup. I moonlighted at a strip club in New York. Darian has like every piece from that collection. What was that like? It's just as nuts as you would think. You're doing makeup.

Yeah. And occasionally she'd crawl up the pole. I was like, you're doing it. That's right. Makeup and a strip club. Thank you. I was like, you got on the pussy pole? She was very thin. Then she worked as the pole. Oh my God. When I, when I first started working there, uh, obviously it was coming from a more like fashion editorial background. So I was trying to like, really like do these looks that I thought were really fabulous that

That the girls didn't like. And then I finally realized you could rub anything on their face. It doesn't matter what you could like rub a diaper on their face. As long as there's black liquid eyeliner, black liquid eyeliner and like a big lash. You could do anything you want. They don't care. Wow. That's not I mean, that's also how I feel. Yeah. What's the craziest look you did for a stripper?

After a certain point, I was just like, whatever you want, I'm doing. I'm not trying to be creative. It's like, what do you want? Yeah. Hey. So she wanted red and yellow and something. I did this cockamamie eye on her that I thought was particularly hideous, like ketchup and mustard, which I mean, I guess in the right context could be cool on the right face. Yeah. This bitch didn't have...

Ketchup and mustard on a dog. But it was kind of a riot. That's amazing. You know, I really like that when I used to work at the counter, I liked when the strippers would come in because they would always come in on Mondays with all this money. They would buy whatever you put on them and they loved it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's so makeup just sold itself. It's just sold. They're all so young and a lot of them so beautiful that they really can just wear anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. That's like, that's most models is they're all like 15 to like 20. So it's like, yeah, you could wear any crazy kooky esoteric look, you know, cause you're a child. What about you ever do makeup on an oldie like me?

50, 60, 70. Oh, I've done every age bracket. Yeah. Working in a makeup counter, you know, any, everyone's coming. So every skin tone, every skin type, every age, like. That's my nightmare to having to do Clinique makeup on like a 75 year old woman. Let me tell you this. Working in Clinique, this was before they even allowed brushes. Mac was the only counter that allowed you to use brushes. What? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You had to use brushes? You had to use your hands to apply powder. Wait, wait. To apply loose powder, you had to do something called a ghost, which is you take a cotton ball, you put it, you take a cotton ball, you put Kleenex tissue over it, turn it into a little ghost, pick up loose powder that you've shaken off onto another little thing.

and then apply powder like that. And then everything was like sponge tip applicators. What? Disposable. Wow. I can't even, I've never heard of this. Blush too. Blush with the ghost. See, that I'm not mad at. If you can do that.

You can do anything. Jesus Christ. So you're at the counter literally using your fingertips on people's eyes and shit? Oh, yeah. Cream eye. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. That's the way I work now. I mean, in the pandemic, it's harder, but I love using my hands for makeup for like...

foundation and it's better when you get in there and like work it into the skin and warm it up and you know I see Darian do some it depends on the product too Darian does some really cool big graphic stuff for us if you look at the daytime realness looks they're amazing but I have to say Darian the way you do skin is like a mosaic like

Any part of the person's face that has good skin is basically showing through. Any part that's problematic disappears. So they really look perfect. I mean, that's the whole, that's my philosophy with the makeup. I just want to like make them look the best they possibly can make the skin look as beautiful as it can. So you put coverage where you need it. And if it's good there, then most of what makeup is, is like looking, you really have to just like use your eyes and look at the face. Yeah.

So a lot of, you know, what's happening now, which I love and everyone's so creative on Instagram and YouTube and whatever, but it's kind of, it's very like by the numbers. Like you put this product here, you put this product here, this and this and this. And that's why everyone kind of looks related. Yeah. Also they all get the same surge, but that's another story. They all get the same snatch. Yeah. Yeah. But the whole point is look at the face, see what that face needs, you know?

There is a kind of like a homogenous kind of Instagram beauty look that is, that starts to get real tired or has been tired for a while. Well, it's just like, we're always on our phones. So it's like constantly regurgitated over and over and over and over and over again. But I mean, I love how,

Into makeup people are now. I mean, when I was working at the counter, it was like everyone just wanted like the sex in the city look. Right. JLo glow, which obviously, you know, as well as I know that JLo has as much makeup on as most drag queens. Absolutely. You know, but I mean, everyone that would come into the counter, especially working at Mac, would be like, I don't make me look like a drag queen. Don't make me look like a tranny. Right.

I can say that word because I'm trans. Which is so chic when people pull that word. Like a straight mom pulls that out at the counter. Yeah, don't tell me. Yeah, I don't want to look like a tranny drag queen. It's like, okay, Denise. Yeah. What the hell? Also, you'd be so lucky. You need the heavy lifting, bitch. I can say that. It's like, and I'm standing there like, I mean, obviously they probably didn't spook me, but...

I'm like, hello, this is not, that's not a nice thing to say. Yeah. Yeah, you also shouldn't. But now everyone wants to look like a drag queen. Yeah. Yeah. They want a Kim K contour. I ruined, I ruined the world. They want it all. Well, I think that's what's so genius about your makeup is that it's kind of like making fun of like. Like blatantly. Yeah. Instagram makeup and Kardashian makeup and like.

But the Kardashians look great. I mean, everyone that's doing their faces are like very skilled, deft hands. But when it trickles down to the masses, that's hard to do. I looked at them. I saw a clip of an episode of the Keeping Up with the Whatever. And I was like,

I didn't even, my brain didn't even get to the point where I was bored because they weren't doing anything because there's so much to look at when they're just standing still. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like her face, Kim's face is so fucking beat up with makeup. And perfected. Perfected. And she's just like this.

I like it. And not doing anything. And my brain is like, has so much to do with just that. And I was like, Oh, that's, that's the makeup artists on that show. Yeah. Are, I mean, incredible. Yeah. I know quite a few. People would say all the time that, um, it's crazy that the relation people have with the amount of makeup they wear. And that's changing all the time, obviously. But like when I sat for Scott Barnes, he was putting so much makeup in and I was like, are you used to putting this much makeup on somebody? And he was like, this is how much I put on Jennifer. Um,

He's like, this is how much TV paint stick. Yeah. Scott did a full milk of magnesia face and then used basically like. That's so old school. And then used like thick, dark, dark cream contour to do like graphic lines on my face and then did foundation over it. So it's like under painting the contour. So TV paint stick went on top of it.

And he was like, this is how much makeup I put on Jennifer. He's like, people just don't realize this is how much makeup people have bought. Right. Yeah. And it's, I mean, people now I think are more hep and very savvy and the consumer is like way more savvy about ingredients, about textures, about products and how they should perform and everything. But you know, 20 something years ago when I was working at a counter, they had nothing about nothing. Darian just had a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever had somebody in the chair who wants something and you just have to go listen, Mary? I'm a makeup artist. You don't have the brow or the lid or you don't have the cheek or whatever. Oh God. No. I mean, you try to be more kind to that kind of thing. There was a woman way back in the day when I was working at Mac that, um, didn't have any eyebrows. She'd like tweeze them all out in the seventies.

And she was like very self-conscious about it. And I taught her how to draw her eyebrows on. And it like totally changed her life. She met a man. She got married. Like I did her makeup for her wedding. It was a whole thing. It was really nice. It was really nice. I mean, eyebrows. I mean, eyebrows can change a person's life. I believe they could do it now, too.

Yeah. Your eyebrows are grown back. No, that's drawn on. It's drawn on. This one started drawing on her, her brows because they're half gone and she started filling them in. Yeah. New woman. I've dated 16 men in the last two weeks. Yeah. I believe it. Full anal penetration. Yeah. Full penetrative Congress. Darian, are we dating? No,

Are you dating? No, I mean, definitely not in the pandemic. I'm too like freaked out for that. But, you know, I always have a few toys up my sleeve. I always have a few. She turns the computer and there's a bunch of men standing outside the window banging. Please let us in.

We had the most, I'm not, I'll just leave it at this, obviously, but we, I mean, you, you told a few tales during a brunch once that had me just, oh my God. The fur coat guy. The fur coat guy.

This is something I never knew existed, but I somehow got hit up by this beautiful, gorgeous boy. Built, muscular, hot, blue eyes, like blonde, like totally hot, like 22. Yeah.

But told me that he had a fur coat fetish. And I was like, what do you mean? Because I didn't know if it was like the furry kind of thing. Are you going to make me do a fur coat? You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, what does that mean? He's like, no, I just am really turned on by beautiful, glamorous women wearing fur coats. And I was like... Dynasty fan. This is like my dream. Because I...

I mean, that was one of my signature winter staples in New York was I wore this like floor length, white vintage Fox for Gant coat. Yeah.

I love it. It's like so opulent. I named it. Her name's Darlene. She's still here. I never wear it. Darlene. I always name my jackets. I always name my coats. But yeah, so I was like, what's the fur coat? He's like, I just like to feel the fur on my naked body. I mean, in the grand scheme, that's a pretty tame fetish. No, I just want to like...

with, you know, a trans girl. A healthy sexual expression. Yeah. With a beautiful fur coat on. A victimless crime. Okay. Except the box, of course. But it's vintage. Yeah. You know.

Wow. It's vintage. Yeah, I don't condone new fur, but old fur. If it's vintage, I'd rather wear it and toot around in my glamorous life than have it rot in the dump. Yeah, absolutely. Respecting the beauty of the animal. It's a little, it's bestiality. It's a touchy subject. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. It's glam. Now, when the man, I'm not going to pry into your personal life, but...

Did you feel like that bitch, though, in the coat when he arrives? Like, yes, this is me. Oh, yeah. I answered the front gate in the coat and he like lost his mind. He was so excited. Nothing on but the fur coat and a heel. Oh, that's like couldn't even. Yeah. Now, what about the suffocation and the ventilation? You know, he's.

Oh, what do you mean? Like, no, I'm not asking if he strangles you. I'm asking, do you get warm two seconds in though? Warm. That was an issue. That was an issue. So, but as long, yeah. He's like, can you put the coat back on? It's 90 degrees in Los Angeles. As long as the fur was touching him in some way, he was happy.

That's lovely. Everybody gets what they want. Isn't that wild? That is so, I love it. What a glamorous, chic fetish. I've never heard that before. I love that. But then I only saw him like twice because it was a lot for me. That was a lot. And I'm like, girls get paid a lot of money to do this. So like, it was fun for like a Kiki. Like I always say, I'll try anything twice, but, um, they opened up for a vault down at the Nordstrom and you never saw him again. Yeah.

We ask all of our guests this. Whose beauty inspires you? Oh my God. You don't have to say us. Yeah, it's understood. It's understood. I mean, I love...

blonde glamour. I used to write a blog about blonde glamour when blogging was a thing back in the day. So all my top beauty icons, Marilyn Monroe, obviously Debbie Harry, Madonna, Courtney Love, Candy Darling, Barbie. Those are my top. Angeline, I love, obviously. I mean, those are all my kind of references. I'm kind of like a medley of all of that. And you so and you're you're a big gem in the holograms fan.

I'm one of the most prolific gym fans. Yeah. And I, that was when I, that was my gay awakening. That's so I knew that I was obsessed with that show. And when was it, when was it on the air? It was on the air from 1985 to 1988. And it was like one of the top rated cartoon shows. Um,

But they canceled it because the dolls weren't selling because they were bigger than Barbie and couldn't share the clothes. And Mattel did a little shady shade and released Barbie and the Rockers before Jem could come out. Do you know that story? Yeah, I do know that story. They got the tea that Jem was coming and they're like, hell no. So that's sadly what happened. You know what's funny?

I love Mattel on They Haven't Sued Me Yet. Thank you. But they tell that story like it's a hero. Like, like they tell that story like it's like, they tell that story like we beat them and we prevailed. And it's like, that's like,

No, Gem was so amazing. Hasbro spent so much money on Gem. It was such an amazing concept and property and the songs were great. Every doll came with a cassette tape from shows from the song. All the fashions were named after songs from the show. The stage and the...

Carrie Case turned into like a working cassette player that could play the tapes and then her backstage dressing room play set was a speaker that you could plug into the stage and amplify the sound. Their car was like an AM FM radio that you could plug into the speaker too. I mean it was like all really thought out and this is some good gem trivia. If you factor in how many gem dolls sold with because they all came with

Wow. That is so interesting. Yeah.

But, and the show was like a huge hit. Like the ratings were off the charts, but the whole point of the show was to promote the dolls. So if the dolls aren't working, then the show has to go. We know, we know about that. Yeah. The dolls aren't working. I mean, I was from three to six, I guess I was, you say 85 to 88. Yeah. Yeah. Three to six. I watched on TV when the gem movie came out. Did you live?

I lived when they announced it, but it had qualms and questions and concerns. And then when I found out that the budget was only a million dollars. Oh, gosh. That's a problem. And then when I saw the first photos from set, I was very disturbed because I like to think of myself as a pretty visual, creative person.

that really understands that level of like 80s opulence and glamour. And even though they were doing it in a modern context, you know, look at like all the pop stars of that era, Gaga, Kesha, you know, Katy Perry, like just do that. Jojo Siwa.

Can we get a glitter? Can we get a ponytail? Can we get some? It was just really, really bad. I don't want to talk trash, but the makeup wasn't up to my standards. The styling wasn't up to my standards. The script wasn't up to my standard. It was bad. It was bad. That's what I like about you, Darian, though. We get to work together at the cosmetics company all the time. We will give Darian an idea, a few words. We'll give her a little bit about what the collection's about, and she'll come back with...

a PDF that will give you details within an inch of your life of what's going to happen that day. Oh, that's fantastic. The story, the narrative references. No one's, no one's even pull from. She just, I want to like what you, Darian is. I love it. That's one of my favorite parts is like all the prep and like the inspiration and the thinking and the planning and yeah, it's fun. Marinating. Yeah.

The marinating, the marinating on the concept and the glamour. Yeah. So fun. And that's why I have such a big reference library of like old books and shit. So I can like, you know, anytime I get a makeup job, I'm like, okay, what's the vibe? Go to my archive, pull out of the books that would maybe work and look through it, look through it, look through it, get inspired. And, you know, I'm not copying anything, but like...

you know, you pull reference. Yeah. Let me ask you this in, um, in the industry high up at that level, do you ever find there are people who kind of like get there by some, like God only knows how they got there. Like any, any like, um, people who actually suck, but sometimes they've been like through nepotism or whatever, they kind of just like enjoy that status, but they're, or is everybody like pretty talented? I mean, every,

everyone's pretty damn talented. You know, some people may like leapfrog or pull stunts through nefarious means, but generally you have to leapfrog through nefarious means. But you have to like

have talent or these like huge clients aren't going to book you you know what i mean you have to i mean it's all like can you do it or not yeah um and is everybody like comfortable with all types of skin colors everywhere like i mean can everybody do it all they should they should be able to yeah yeah okay but all yeah they should be not always though i mean even backstage on some shows like i

I'm like, how are you here? Like, not like the key makeup artist, but like someone on the team where I'm like, how did you get here? Because you should be able to like have every skin color in your kit, like be able to do any model. I mean, how awful for like some like super, you know, deep complected model that like they get sat in a chair and like.

That person can't do their makeup. Yeah. That's fucked up. Yeah. And like, I'm as white as a fucking ghost, but you better believe I can paint a black girl, honey. Yeah. Yeah. To the gods. Better than them. You have to know these things. Yeah. But, you know, you have to learn these things. And like, maybe they didn't learn. I don't know. But...

in a hazmat suit and Pumps going, how did you get here? She said, play Deborah Cox. Nobody's supposed to be here. But for the most part, everyone's really skilled and talented. Otherwise, they wouldn't be invited. And if they do show their ass on a show, then they just don't get invited back. Work. Simple as that. When I show my ass, I always get invited back.

Darian, you're such a legend. Thank you for being here with us today. Where can people follow you? I'm on Instagram, Darian Darling. Yeah, that's it. I have a Twitter, but I haven't used it in forever. But it's Darian Darling. Go to Darian's Instagram. The fashion inspiration is stunning. It's gorgeous. The lip, the bangs, the glasses, the touch, the feel, the fabric of your life. Everything. Everything. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

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