Kristen Schaal Is Lost in an Abandoned Warehouse With Katya
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Hi, divas. As you know, Tritzy's on break. So I'm solo here on the podcast to tell you that we are bringing you more bald in the beautiful live shows this fall. That's right. We're going to be in Baltimore, Providence, Columbus, and a whole bunch of other East Coast cities that I don't have on the script in front of me. But all tickets and info will be at TrixieandKatya.com. So get your panties in check for the best damn podcast you've ever seen. Head to TrixieandKatya.com for more info. Panty check.

okay so i oh i just like housed a burger and fries and a milkshake so i feel like i'm gonna barf on top of being excited and a little nervous oh you're in a good spot anything anything can happen welcome back to the ball and the beautiful today we have an extra special guest while trixie's

Enjoying her year of rest and relaxation. Good for her. Yeah, good for her. Exactly. Yeah, good for her. Take some time off. Do you think she'll watch this and be a little jealous? No. She's not even going to watch it. No, she's going to watch it. She's really taking some time off. She's already grown like a beard. I don't think she ever had the capability of actually growing a beard. So things are really changing in her world. She's like David Letterman now. Yeah. She's going to...

She's going to have a wizard beard down to her waist soon. Oh, but it's going to be beautiful. It'll be like maintained. No, it's patchy. It's going to be like long wispies. The claws are out. Kristen Schaal. Hello.

Where's my camera? Everywhere. Okay. We've got hidden cameras up there. We've got cameras in here. Yeah, no. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this. You look beautiful and you're a legend. Thank you. Okay. Thank you. I almost just accept it. I was so excited when I got asked to do this podcast. I don't really enjoy doing podcasts, but I was like, oh, do I get to hang out?

With you all? Yes. Yes. Oh, man. Be on the forefront of like culture. Like, yes. I don't know about the forefront of culture. We mostly talk about pee and poop. I know, but that's like really, really cool.

And not everybody's doing it. We alone have the strength and the bravery to continue the ongoing discussion and keep it relevant. Yes. PP and poo-poo. Because it's not stopping. People will be doing it. Yeah. Every day. Every day, all the time. If they're lucky. You know what? Well, we had to watch a TV show on Netflix, a survival show.

And one of the contestants had to be airlifted out because she hadn't pooped in like 29 days. Ooh. Okay. Impacted bowel. Yeah. Sure. That could kill you. I went to the Mütter Museum. Oh, yeah. In Pennsylvania. Oh. Philadelphia. I thought it was in Germany. Well.

There's probably more than one. Okay, so is this the museum where it's like dead stuff? Of oddities and weird and dead stuff for sure. And one of the things they had was a guy who had such an impacted colon when he died. They like took it out and it's like in an exhibit and it's as big as this room. And he was like a father. He had children. He had a job and a big, big bowel. Wow.

Like it didn't seem like it held him back that much. I mean, he definitely had more time because he wasn't pooping, but like. You know, I always think about like, we put a man on the moon. Yes, we did. Maybe. Yeah, allegedly. I wasn't there, so. Why are we still pooping in the toilet?

I enjoy pooping in the toilet. Would you rather, oh, you mean why haven't we developed a pill that will extract the poop or like. Yeah, or like some kind of. Like,

Like, why can't we slit our wrists and just discreetly pour out the poop, like, in a plant over here? I know. Slit the wrist. Like, have a little wrist slit that we can open and close. Not by a vein. Okay, thank you. Where the poop will just, like, just be like, I could be just talking to you and I'm just, like, discreetly pooping. Or, like, you have a diabetic port that has, like, a Glade plug-in so that it can discreetly just pop out a little skittle. I mean, honestly, like, if I could poop like a deer, I would be so happy. Honestly.

They have like tiny little pebble poops. They're so cute. Like they're as big as marbles and they're like, and you know, you know that they don't have like the endless wipe. You know what I'm talking about? Where you're like, where do I begin and my poop ends at this point? Like they don't even poop. Like what is happening to my body? Oh, that's such a day ruiner. I know.

I think all of our listeners who are currently eating lunch or dinner are going to be so happy. And I swear, Tracy and I always talk about the fact that we... She's like, we don't do poop jokes. We don't do poop jokes. And then...

It's just endless, endless feces talk. So let's pivot. - Okay, okay, absolutely. 'Cause I could go on and on. I was about to tell you my worst poop story of my life. - Do it, do it. - Okay, are you sure? - Yeah, you have to. - Okay, I'm getting lots of enthusiasm from the tiny pink room that I thought was a lot bigger watching this online. - Really? - I thought you guys were in a studio. - Oh no. - And I won't disclose the location for your diehards. - Thank you. - But I was surprised.

- The podcast is very popular. I was like, oh, we're gonna be going to a studio. - Yo, we're in Skid Row.

She had to dodge two muggers on the way up here. I mean, I'm going to be walked to my car after this. That's for sure. Right, Charles? Thank you. Charles, Charles, Charles. Oh, my God. That's so funny. Yeah, you guys are huge. I tell people, like, I was name dropping this podcast. Oh, shut up. I was. I was like, guess where I'm going to. And people...

are impressed with me today. Well, you know what? You know what? Triggs and I were talking earlier about the level of fame. She's very famous. She's gotten very, very famous. She has a hotel or whatever. She's got a hotel. She's got a television show. Well, because she makes a documentary about everything she does. Right. Right.

You could do that too. No, I don't want to. When she finally let you in on her makeup line. Yes, yes. Did you have to beg for that? I had to. It took three years of like everyday writing letters. We could really go for it. Oh yeah, yeah. Are you serious? No. No, okay. But I recently had some financial troubles and I was like, hey, maybe it's time to do another little makeup collab. I wanted to do something called the whore palette.

And she's like, oh, that's great. We can't do that. Why? Well, because it's just not. It's not like PC or whatever? Yeah. To call something. It's not really sellable. The whore palette. I don't know. I know. I mean, but it was like, it was just like an all in one kind of like, this is how to look like a whore. Yeah. How? Yeah. How? Oh, how? Yeah. Just dark eyeshadow. Yes. Red lipstick. Yes. And really pink blush. Oh, so it's just sort of like kind of cover up. Just an all in one. The long night.

No, no, it's not fresh faced. Well, it could start out fresh faced, but then it would wear well. I'm out of my element here. Call it right now. Back to my poop story, please. Please, please continue. My God, I don't know anything about makeup. I would. And again, when I knew this was coming to it, that's why I was trying to schedule it. Cause I,

I was getting my makeup done for this thing. And I was like, we, I have to do it right after. Cause I didn't want to come. Cause I, I don't know how to do makeup. Do you? Yeah. I really, most like stars like yourself.

Hollywood stars. Hollywood stars. Hollywood royalty. The woman who will do it when 10 people say no. No, no. When you let you, you guys, when you're at a gig, you sit in a chair. Yes. You sit in a chair. And they do it for us. You just run out. I remember I'll, I never, I'll never forget Sarah Jessica Parker saying, I just run out of the house at 5 a.m. with wet hair.

- Oh, I know. It's true. That's what I did today. Yeah, it feels so good. And then Charles blows dry. And then I'm like, "Charles, I don't like it. "What happened today?" He tried something new and I was like, "I don't know." And it's not even Charles. It's just like, I'm kind of having anxiety and hating myself. So when I look in the mirror, what I see is totally different from what's actually happening. - Fuck. - Yeah. - Wait, did you finish the poop story? - No. - Could you? - Yeah. So, okay. So I was in this studio, like a real studio, not like this.

- Not in some dump in Skid Row. - It looks so fancy, and it is. This is why I feel like I'm punk now. Like I'm doing it. Like, that's like, yes, yes, they want me. I'm relevant. I'm here. I really actually don't know why you guys asked me. - I'm gonna shit myself and then I'll have another nice poop story. - Oh yeah, you will. - God damn. - So this, it gets pretty graphic. - Okay, put your lunch down.

- Yeah. So I had to take a poop while I was in this studio and it was a public bathroom and I went into one of the stalls and you know how, when you take a poop, you're gonna wipe and you're gonna check it to see if you need to wipe again. This is basic stuff that nobody's verbalizing. - For good reason. - Yeah.

So, but I need to for this part. So then, for some reason, the lock or whatever, there was a few stalls. I don't know why I should pick this one. A woman opened the stall door while I was looking. And the worst part is, is I definitely needed to wipe again. It was the most,

Intimate. That is the most vulnerable. Yes. The most vulnerable. There's nothing. I could be pooping, but it'd still be kind of my thing. I could be like resting between whatever. But this was like, here's my poop that I just took off my ass.

And I need to do more. So you should probably close the door and pick a different stall. Sorry. Proof is right here. Oh my God. Proof for the both of us. Fuck. That was really embarrassing. I didn't see that woman again. Thank God. Thank God. Do you turn red when you get embarrassed?

I don't know. Am I running out? I don't. I mean, I flush like to the color of this microphone and it's so embarrassing. And then people like, oh my God, you're so embarrassed. And then you get even more embarrassed. Yeah. My nightmare. But I think that makes you like really sweet. Like that is so like lovely and adorable. It's your tell, which is sucks for you, but like it kind of makes people want to hold you closer. I mean, maybe. Keep you safe. Keep you safe.

Oh, he's so embarrassed. His feelings are right on his face. Well, when I went to college, they had public bathrooms. Yeah. And so I didn't poop for two weeks. Oh, my God. Couldn't do it. You're about to be airlifted. Yeah, couldn't do it. Two weeks. I get it. Two full weeks. I was almost airlifted. You must have been sick. Yeah, it was like, but I just, I don't get that. There's a comfort, like...

Yeah. It's like unimaginable to me to like just blow ass right next to anybody. Open air. Your stink in their nostrils. Yeah. That is absolutely horrifying. And just the sounds you make sometimes when it comes. And also it's like.

The plop of the water. You just want it to be private in your own comfortable toilet at home. And then it's kind of enjoyable. Yeah. It can be a relief. Yeah. It can be a relief. It's a pleasurable relief. Yeah. It's relaxing. Nobody should know about it. Maybe you're reading. Well, see, that's the thing. I've never... It's never been that long of an event to require or like to...

You're done. I mean, it's... As fast as peeing for you. Oh, yeah. Faster. I hardly even have time to hit the seat. Good Lord. Oh, yeah. In and out like in a flash. Oh, okay. Is it... Can I get a little... Please. We can cut this. Is it... It's all... Runny? Runny?

Okay. Okay. For the most part, it's always, it's very neat. Okay. It's a neat. So you have a ghost wipe. Yeah. I do that. Yeah. You eat well. Well, not today. No, no. There's something about the quality of my GI tract that lends itself to just like, just get in, get out and get rid of it. That's gorgeous. Yeah. It's nice. I'm grateful. That's something you should lead with. Yeah. Well, I, I was, um, I,

I'm going to puke. No. I'm going to puke. That would be incredible. You should do it. I'm not going to do it. Okay.

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You got to talk to me about it. I don't know if, you know, sometimes when you interview a star. Can you? No, no, no, listen. When you interview a star and your favorite project of theirs is their least favorite project of theirs, it gets awkward. So I hope this is not the case, but I want to talk about the Harchie Holler.

Because that is one of my top three favorite shows of all time. Katiana, thank you so much. Did you enjoy doing that? Of course. Okay. Nobody brings that show up. Really? Because it is... You're the first. I am... So, and then on season... Oh, wow. That's so cool. Season one. Season two, Amy Sedaris. Yes. Or season three. Maybe season two. I don't know. She took over. She took over. Yeah. So, you two are, I mean, legend. But that show is...

How would you describe that show? It's kind of like a hillbilly Twin Peaks. Super gross.

Super inappropriate. Like it's so nasty. Yeah. It is nasty. Yeah. But it is so good. It's John Lee and Vernon Chapman. Thank you. They were the geniuses behind Wonder Shows In. Okay. Okay. And so they kind of had, and Allison Lee too, I think was a big part of it, but they had a little bit of free reign involved

in a niche part of Adult Swim. So they got to make this show that's a little bit like, it's super surreal, super gritty, hillbilly, like Patton Oswalt plays like the head of the family and he's

and he's left videos for everybody and it's who's gonna own the holler and it's like there's ghosts there's it's and it's campy as fuck and I am playing Hershey Hershey and she Hershey Hershey Hershey and the one is one of the most amazing things about that job

And other jobs I took, someone would be like, so you're going to be doing this awkward sex scene with Will Forte and I'm here for you if you need me. If you're feeling uncomfortable for any reason. And I just look at them and I'm like, I played a character that held her pregnancy in until it was a full grown man and then held a gun to my giant pregnant stomach. And I was like, I think...

I think I'm good. Like, it just made me, like, I did every weird thing that John and Vernon could imagine. And I was like, I'm fine. And I was sad that I moved to L.A. and there was a conflict. So Amy stepped in. But it wasn't because I didn't.

Fucking love this show I'm so proud of this show This show is so good Yeah It's so good It's so twisted I'm so happy you know about this show Oh yeah I don't And it's not a very well It doesn't seem to be a super well known Can you even watch it now? Absolutely Well You can't?

Oh, that's right. Because sometimes I don't know how that works, by the way, with like you go to adult swim and then some are locked and sometimes they disappear. But it's I've seen I mean, I've probably watched that show all the way through like three or four times. And it's like the last episode. I mean, it gets so surreal. It gets so insane. It's almost like they're the creators of the show are like daring you not to watch it. They are very punk rock. Yeah.

Filmmakers. Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, they could not care about their audience. Yes, especially on the last episode. I think of the series, the whole series. It was just like making it more and more difficult for the viewer to like stick with it, which I love. Yeah. It's fantastic. But yeah, that show rules. Oh, it's so fucking good. It's so nasty. Imagine a show with no notes where they can do anything they want and they absolutely will.

I loved Meemaw. Meemaw was so amazing. Oh my God, Meemaw. Meemaw. That actress was awesome. Yeah, it was that, and then, was it Heather Lawless? Heather Lawless plays the other sister, like the psychic sister. Oh my God, so good. She's like, looks like Sissy Spacek. Yes, yes. But she's such a good stand-up too. Oh really? Heather, if you're watching, get back on that stage, girl! Oh my God.

She needs to get back out there. She's awesome. Do you like doing stand-up? No. I understand, Heather. I understand. I do. I used to like it. Oh, my God. I'm going to shit. I just need to... Quickly, though. Yes, yes. I know so much about you. Oh, fuck. I need...

the material that I like to say on a stage in front of people. And I just don't have it. And sometimes that's scary. There's a time in my 20s where it happened where I was like, I don't know what to say, I don't have it. And I had to stop for a while and I'm like, it's over, I'm all dried up. And someone's like, no, look at Stephen Martin. Stephen Martin, he also took a hiatus. And then I was like, you're right. But Stephen Martin took a hiatus for the rest of his life.

I dip back in and now I'm like, okay, I need another. I still don't know what's funny to say on stage right now. Some people are in love with standup and on the top of their game because it's just pouring out of them. Do you think that, not to get weird, but I was thinking about

like wham like i was watching the wham documentary and um how george michael did you watch it no i just watched i i don't know much about wham to be honest i gotta watch it i'm so pleased because i was i was ready i was gearing up to come here and not get any of your references i was like they're cinephiles every time i watch i'm like oh i haven't heard of that i haven't

- Well anyways, you'd like it. Maybe if you like, do you like pop music? - Yeah. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Well he would like go upstairs and he would write a song.

in like two hours and it would be like that last Christmas song. - Mega hit. - Last Christmas, he wrote it in like a couple hours. And there's a few others that are so good that the story is like, oh, he just like kind of like dipped out and wrote it and came back and like here. - Like that Faith song. - Yeah, all, I mean every song. I'm a big, but sometimes I wonder if there's like an ether,

just a creative ether where you've got a portal to it somehow. It's like, it's almost like he can like grab the song and put it out there. And then I wonder like with comedy, like you are, you don't even grab the good jokes. Like you just, your head is, there's a hole in your head that's like open to good shit. And it's just coming through you. My hole is close. And it's been close for about five, six years now.

Maybe longer. You know, stand up as a form. I it's it's missing a theatricality for me. Like it's even, you know, I mean, I loathe visually speaking. I loathe the image of a man who is balding in a white T-shirt. OK. You know, on a stage. And there's like a there's like such a.

an assumed like bravado of like, I'm so funny that I haven't even showered in three days, but I'm going to get on a stage and that's going to be enough. I did not. You know what I mean? Do not understand that aesthetic. It's cool to look like shit on a stage where that's a respected place. Yeah. Even like, even when, or like, um, who's the guy who always wears a suit?

John Mulaney. Yeah. Wears like a nice suit. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. But I also, it's just like one person. I feel like I want, I want more. I want more. That's how I feel about myself with it. I'm like, so what I'm just going to talk about, I'm like 46 and doing pretty good.

I want to give them a show. You know, I want to like bring, I mean, I used to do characters and stuff on stage because that's the same thing. I'm like, they came. That's how I feel like when you go to Comic-Con and you do panels. I'm about to do that. No offense. I hope you come. But we're all just sitting behind a fucking banquette table being like, yeah, that was a fun part on the show.

Like we gotta give him a show. That was my first instinct when I was like, so we just sit there and we'll answer some questions and then we'll get off. And they paid for that. They got in line for Hall H for us to be like, yeah, I felt like really good about that episode. I was like, no. And they're like, yes, this is all, this is your world, bitch. And I was like, I love that you care. I love that you care. I think that that's a good instinct. Yeah, you know, I got to see, um,

I got to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's live show. Oh, cool. I wish I was so bummed that Trixie wasn't able to go, but they were fabulous. Fabulous.

And it was like a, it was enough, like, it was, it was like low tech ish, kind of, it wasn't like, it wasn't like, you know, like a Busby Berkeley spectacular with like water fountains and stuff. But they were, had just enough like video and like costume elements to like, it was so, so, so well done. And it was like the two of them, it's like, it's such a different dynamic when you have two people. Yeah. Rather than one.

I want to be with a partner. Yeah. It's great. It's so great. It's so relaxing. The division of labor. Yeah. Yeah. It's like if you're out there by yourself, all the stress, if this lives or dies, it's your fault. Yeah. Yeah. And when I had a comedy partner for a while, I still do, but he likes to go solo, which is fine. But it is like...

I don't mind sharing the laughs. I don't mind if you get a bigger laugh. And I just like that we're friends up there. It's hard to get friends. So you can convince them that, oh, this is our job. This is what we do for a living. And oh, we're going to be fine together. It's great, though. It is great. This episode is brought to you by Game Time. If you're like me, rarely does a night go by when you're not out on the town living it up at the nearest theater, concert venue, or sports stadium. I'm not a fan of the town.

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Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you, you watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself.

I have fully done things around the home that I think look good and then a bang in the night and I wake up to a shelf collapsing, a painting falling off the wall. Like it, I've seen it all go south. I own a home and I can tell you, I know how much work it can take. Whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

Whatever your home project, big or small, indoor or outdoor, you can Angie that and connect with skilled professionals to get the project done well. Right now, one of my wish lists is I want a bike for my condo in Milwaukee and I would love to rig it up on a pulley in the ceiling because I have one of those like lofted ceilings.

but I'm so scared to try that on my own. Angie has 20 years of home experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of any home project in just a few taps.

Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. So I watched, I didn't watch the Wham documentary, but I did watch the Faye Dunaway one last night. Oh, someone just sent me a thing that I should watch it. Yeah. It's interesting. It's interesting because I, when I meet stars, I always ask them, I was like, who's horrible in Hollywood?

because you know it's like the first thing you want to know it's the most yeah yeah yeah who sucks who sucks who sucks and I'm constantly I really I'm like what I really want to hear is like I want to hear um you know someone that you would never expect to be a nightmare is a total nightmare um but but I haven't really been surprised um but people have you know it's been like um she's been like a

a uh notorious terror in hollywood like her reputation yeah and it's it's interesting because they kind of they kind of i feel like she she like opens up about her like being bipolar and stuff and i think she kind of like it almost feels like it's a little bit of an excuse for bad behavior which hey you know whatever but um oh it's fascinating oh my god it's fascinating

I love it. I can't wait to watch it. Well, and she said that in Chinatown, you know, that like, she's my sister slap. She's my daughter slap. And he was Jack Nicholson was really slapping her. She's like, we can't, we can't like, she told him like, we, we can't fake it. It's not going to look good. So you got to really slap me. Yeah. And it's, they showed the footage. He really slaps the shit out of her. Yeah. Crazy.

Yeah. And he called her dread the dread. Oh my God. Yeah. Cause I guess she's a great terror on set. That is, that is cool. I don't, um, my old movie star Goss is, and I don't think it's gossip, but I was watching Rosemary's baby again. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, I love this old time movie making. It's like, um,

What's her name? Mia Farrow. Thank you. Mia Farrow. Oh, she's just like, she was just had like kind of a bob and now she has like a total pixie cut and nobody talked about it. I love that. I love old movies where we don't have to like watch a montage of her like brushing her hair, thinking she doesn't like it, making an appointment, watching her get it cut. It's just like, no, people cut their hair. And he's like, I don't like your haircut. The end. We move on. And then someone's like, no, no.

That wasn't in the movie. She got in a fight with Frank Sinatra who didn't want her to do Rosemary's Baby. That was a famous story because he thought it was bad and she was like, fuck you, I'm doing it. And he's like, fuck you, you're my wife. You do what I say. I make you not part of it. I'm imagining. She's like, you can't stand in the way of my art or whatever. And I don't know what the fight was about the hair, but to tell him to take it, just to get back at him, she went and cut her hair in the middle of a movie shoot.

You're fucking kidding me. And they just had to work with it. Am I right? That's incredible. Yeah, it's fierce. That's incredible. And then, of course, it was Vidal Sassoon. She's like, it's Vidal Sassoon. And it was Vidal Sassoon, but also... It was a huge moment. A huge moment. Iconic hair moment of the time. Everybody wanted that haircut. Yeah. And the sad part of the story is that not everybody's face can carry a pixie. Okay? That's...

Yeah. Well, I was watching, I, you know, I was, um, so Sharon Stone was in the Faye Dunaway documentary and, and, and she had a pixie cut. And, and I was like, it's like, damn, these, like it is that I can't imagine that. That is such a difficult, you have to be so beautiful. Yeah. You got to have cheekbones. It's crazy. That you just want the hair to lightly, just,

perch on top of your cheekbone. So you know what? Don't hide the cheekbone. You know what? Don't even hide the forehead. Just let them know there's hair there. Yeah. But don't take away from this. Yeah. Or like Demi Moore in Ghost. Just a brown. So beautiful. Just like a brown. Just like a little brown cap. A cap. Yeah. Like a little swim cap. Just like, oh, I have hair, but I don't need it. Yeah. That's crazy. Gorgeous. What's your favorite movie of all time?

You could only watch one movie for the rest of your life. Wait, wait, wait. Actually, wait. Let me rephrase. Three different questions. All right. So what is your, what do you think is the best movie that you've seen? Not necessarily your favorite. Oh. Like, but what do you think is like the best? And then what's your favorite movie? But then what movie could you watch over and over and over? Are we on a date? It's like boring first date question. Thank you. Oh.

I gotta go take a shit excuse me let me see I mean when I think about that there's been so many good ones I mean I need to rewatch I would die if you said like Herbie 2 fully loaded I know I wouldn't I'm sorry I won't

Okay, fine. I'll go there. Well, okay. I haven't watched it in a while, though, so I need to re-watch it again. But I remember watching Hedwig and the Angry Inch multiple times and thinking, this is the first time I've seen a movie where dialogue is used so economically. Mm.

Maybe because it's a musical. But I liked that. And I liked the music. Then, speaking of musicals, I love Moana. I think Moana is a really good movie. What is it? Moana. What's that? I know. It's like I'm speaking a strange language. It's a Disney movie that Lin-Manuel Miranda composed the music with a couple other people. It is so good. Will you watch it? Yeah. No. Because it's animated? No. This offends me. Okay.

Is it Disney or is it Pixar? It's Disney. Okay, I'll watch it. It's so good. I'll watch it. I mean, who's seen it here? What do you guys think? It's good.

Yeah, it's really good. Oh, you know what else is really good? Oh, I just lost it. Oh, Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse and Across the Spider-Verse. Yes. Fabulous. Fabulous movie. I couldn't believe how good it was. Timeless movie. Yeah, I couldn't believe how good it was. Yeah. I feel like the art in those movies is ahead of its time. Storytelling is perfected. I like those movies a lot. What else do I like? You like Moonstruck? I need to watch it again. I watched it a while ago.

I love, oh God, I love Step Brothers. I haven't seen that. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. John C. Reilly. So they're like boy childs, man childs. And it's just the perfect timing for them. And then Mary Steenburgen just holds it down. She just anchors the whole thing and it's so funny. Waiting for Guffman I also like. Oh yeah. I could watch that over and over except for I ruined it.

I think I ruined it once because it was my comfort movie that I would just watch over and over since I was in high school. And then someone gave me, Reggie Watts, gave me an edible thing. And it was like pot, but he's like, this is from Hawaii. And I don't really do, I don't do the pot, but it was just a night in Brooklyn. And I'm like, oh, it's from Hawaii. Okay. It's like pretty chill, not chill.

Very trippy. You know that thing where you're just like, I want this to stop. I want to get down from here. Oh, I'll watch Waiting for Guffman because that's my comfort movie. And then I just watched it like this. Didn't laugh once. Oh, fuck. Couldn't. Fuck. Couldn't. Fuck. Jugs suck. Parker Posey's Dairy Queen speech at the end, I find like absolutely bone chilling. Yeah. Bone chilling. They'll always have me. Yeah. They'll always have me at the DQ. Yeah.

It's fucking brutal. I know. It's brutal. Hearts are broken. Oh, God. That movie's good. It's really good. It's really good. I remember seeing A Mighty Wind in the theater. Yeah. And that was like that, the...

I think like it was a little too subtle of it. Like, uh, do you know what I mean? It kind of half the audience. I don't think thought it was, Oh no, I swear to God. Whoa. It was like, it was like nervous laughter, but very, uh, patchy nervous laughter. Cause I think people, people like, weren't really sure if it was like, uh,

comedy or not it was so strange i hate that yeah it was strange what are your what are your favorite films okay they're your favorite film of all time okay so you would have to watch over and over again i listed too many i skirted the question and those answers will probably change next month okay yeah witches of eastwick is probably my favorite never seen it wow we're so different you gotta see it okay

Share Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jack Nicholson.

Okay. Incredible. And it's just so good. It's so, so, so good. Is it like Hocus Pocus? Yeah, kind of. They're like three female friends who find out that they're witches, basically. God, they couldn't get one diverse person in there? Jesus Christ. No, it's a very white cast. Yeah. Very white cast. But you know, there's like, I love like, I was heartbroken when I realized that like, they didn't get along.

I hear that almost every show or movie that's an all-female cast, that's the story. Yeah, and it's like, I guess it's a testament to how great of actors they are because they just seem like the best of friends on camera. But I guess, like, apparently they cast Michelle Pfeiffer because at the time she was the, like, the...

the toppity top of Hollywood. It's like 1987. - She was doing that thing where she was like, dangerous minds. She's like sitting on a chair being like, straighten out and everybody's like, I love her. I love that she fixed those dangerous minds, made them pretty safe. - Dangerous minds. Family friendly minds.

I'm back on the streets with a safer mind. Shit. But I guess Cher showed up to the... One of them wanted the other's part. So I think Susan Sarandon showed up thinking she was Cher. And then had to like... And Cher's like, yeah, I'll do it only if I'm that character. But they had already given it to Susan Sarandon. So it was like a big, horrible thing, which is so heartbreaking. Yeah.

Because I was like, in my mind, they're like the best of friends. And she like, Cher is like, Sue, like, can we switch parts? And she's like, no, I have...

I'm so connected to this witch. Yeah. Can't do it. I mean, we're all the witches. So different. Yes. Okay. Okay. Well, one of them, there's, you got a sculptor, you got a writer and you got a, um, um, uh, uh, a weaver, a baker. Oh, America.

A marionette puppeteer. No, no. It's the... Oh, it's cello. Cellist. Cellist. Cellist. Yeah. So, I'm sorry. They've got a cellist? Yeah. Oh, right.

writer and a sculptor and who was Sue that she couldn't give it to Cher well I can't if you watch the movie because she's an uptight well she's an up Susan Serena's character she's an uptight sculptor no no uptight cellist of course super but literally buttoned up math is in music yeah no well she has a famous she's like famously like high strung and then like a cello through the yeah through the hands of the devil Jack Nicholson she like opens up and becomes this like

Oh, so she had kind of a nice arc. Yeah. She's like, oh, I've already mapped it out. I'm going to be like this and I'm going to be like that. Don't take it away from me, Cher. But see, I don't understand. Cher could not have done that part. What part did Cher have? I think she had...

She was cast as the musician, I think. No, Susan Srandon was the musician. Susan Srandon ended up playing the musician, but I think it was written that Cher was going to be the musician, which I don't... If you see the movie, you're like, no, no way. So what is Cher? She's the sculptor. The sculptor. But she doesn't have a lot of like...

Susan Sarandon's character has the most, she literally goes from like Goody Proctor to like the town slut. Right. It's great. So fun. She lets her hair down literally. She's wild, like braless in the supermarket eating pickles out of the jar. It's great. I mean, and Cher was just like making a pot. Yeah. She's just making little booby dolls. She's just like, why am I? I was in Moonstruck. I sang. I did a variety show. I didn't even want to. All I want to do is have a fucking arc.

And I'm just making pottery in this movie. Yeah. Crazy. Why didn't they give her an arc? I don't know. I mean, she really is the star though. She is. I know it's so gay. No, she kind of takes the screen away. Yeah, she does. It's like watching a dog on stage where you don't know what they're going to do. So you're just looking at them. Like that's Cher. Yeah. I can't believe I was like recently kind of going back and like just, you know, on YouTube, like going into the back catalog of all the stuff that Cher does.

And Liza, just to get really gay, like Cher and Liza Minnelli have done. Wait, you're gay? We didn't, I didn't know that.

They did so much. Wait, they did stuff together? No, no, no. Oh, just their body of work. It's insane. Yeah, they didn't say no to anything. Nothing. I mean, specials. The Sonny Sherriff. I mean, it's like all this shit all the time. It's outrageous. So prolific. Do you think Sherriff... I mean, they both slowed down now. Yeah. Well, oh my God. What? Oh, my God.

Liza's still alive. Oh, God. And Cher's still alive. Oh, my God. I mean, it's been a weekend. So that was rough, dude. Oh, Shannon Doherty just died. Oh, yeah. Crazy. And Richard Simmons. Richard Simmons. And, oh, and Shelley Duvall. Shelley Duvall.

Shelly Duvall. Have you seen Three Women? No, I haven't. Okay, do me a favor. I'm going to rewatch it. It's Robert Altman and Shelly Duvall's character is so epic. She's just like, it's in the 70s. Sissy Spacek is in it. If you like Heart, She Holler, you'd like this too because it is just like drippy. It's art. Has anyone seen it?

I like Robert Altman. I like Robert Altman. Yeah, you're going to love Three Women. Okay. Watch it tonight. Oh, watch it tonight. What are you doing tonight? Watching Three Women. There you go. What is... Okay, if you had to... Have you ever seen Inside the Actors Studio? Yes, of course.

I am obsessed with the way James Lipton would interview stars. What do you call that? It's like ingratiating? Is that the word? Yeah. Where it's like he's literally licking their asses. Yes. To such a flagrant degree. Like worshiping them. It makes you almost not like them. Yeah. It's like too much. It's way too much. Yeah. It's like, so you cured cancer on the set of Herbie 2 fully loaded. It's like so bizarre. Yeah. But he's got... I love...

The questionnaire at the end, I love, he always like, I think the actors and actresses like always answer so seriously. And it's so weird. Yeah. Like Sharon Stone was like, what is the sound that you love? What did she say? I don't know. I don't remember.

Yeah, I know. They do get really, it's like, it makes you like think that you're, whatever you're about to say has to be as special as he's acting like you are. Yeah. It's like, it's very, it's very culty, like worshipy, worshipy. But I mean, you know.

- I love the sound of soffing. - Of what? - It's called soffing. It's when the breeze goes through leaves of a tree and the sound that they make, soffing. - How do you spell that? - I don't know. - What is the sound that you hate? - It's like my mom's favorite word. The sound that I hate.

Oh, I don't know. Like alarms. Like fire alarms. Oh, yeah. We had one go off in my building last weekend. I genuinely did not know what to do. You do not live here? No, she kicked me out. There's a lot.

You get that whore line. The whore? You have to get that whore line. I know. I know. Don't you? It's an all-in-one, too, because there's so much. Yeah, but the palette with like a lipstick in it. Like, basically, you only need one thing. Yeah. That's the whole thing. It's like when you're a street-walking whore. Yes. You don't have a lot of room in your bag. Everybody knows this. Yeah. So you just need an all-in-one little palette. You need to freshen up between. Tricks. Whatever you do. None of my business.

Yeah. Yeah. Whore. Wait, the alarm went off in your house and you didn't know what to do. I did not know what to do. It was so loud. Take me, take me. It was so, so loud. And I knew there was nothing going on. Yeah. But it was, and I didn't know what to do. You didn't know who to call. There's nobody to call. Like, do you call 311? Is it 311? I don't know. Like, what kind of alarm is it? It was a fire alarm. Are we losing the audience? No.

I'm worried. I don't want everyone to click off my episode. Wait, wait, wait. Just remember the question I wanted to ask you. Okay. It's a would you rather kind of thing. Oh, shit. Okay. If you could...

another language absolutely read and write fluently but you had to chop off one of your fingers to do it. Would you do it? Yeah. And how many would you do? How many fingers? How many languages? Yeah. Oh, I guess I would chop off like maybe I don't know maybe like three fingers. Okay. Which languages would you do? I think I would do wow

I mean, I think I would do Mandarin. Yeah, that's, yeah. Just so, because they're going to take over. I want to get a job. And then be like...

Ooh, French. Because I would like to order at the restaurant for my friends in Paris. And they'll be like, oh. And I'm like, ooh la la. Right, guys? Pretty cool. And then maybe a dead language. Really? Like Sanskrit? Dead language, yeah. Ancient Greek? Yeah. Oh, is that dead? Careful. You're about to get canceled by the ancient Greek community. We're still here! In ancient Greek.

Fuck. Oh my God. So just those three? Yeah. What about you? I would... Yeah, I think I would definitely do... I would do Mandarin. Yeah. I would do Spanish. Oh, okay. Spanish. I can't believe I haven't learned Spanish yet. I know. And then Japanese maybe? I was just thinking Japanese. I'll cut off another finger for Japanese. I might give up a whole hand. I don't need this right hand. I can wipe with one. You know...

I think Japanese and Chinese characters are the same. Like if you're from China and you visit Tokyo, you can read the subway characters. Oh, really? Yeah. Like your word for it is different, but they use the same. You're about to shit. I can tell. I can tell. I saw your face.

Okay. If you could be the best in the world at any sport for one year only, what would it be? Oh man. These are fun. Um,

What would people look at me the most? I guess probably soccer. No, no. Football. American football. American football. And I would be the fucking quarterback. And I would be like, oh my God. I'd be like, I know. I made that play. I called that. I threw that. And then they'd be like, here's millions. And I'm like, fine, fine, fine. It's good. That's me. I did that. Which league would that be?

Well, I guess in this fantasy, I guess I was from Colorado, so the Broncos. I would take over whoever's doing Bronco. Ooh, also, you're from Colorado, home of our Congresswoman Lauren Boebert. Yeah, you know, I was just there over the

Fourth of July saw a big old poster for her on the side of the street. Lauren Boebert. She got divorced. So she moved to a new district and started running there because no one in her old district wanted her because she doesn't do anything. Right. Except get fingered at Beetlejuice. Yeah. She doesn't pass laws. She just like makes shows. I mean, she makes shows. Yeah. By herself. Yeah.

in front of whatever camera she can find, but she doesn't care about anybody. - Her constituents. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But for some reason, Adams County or wherever she was, voted for her. I was surprised actually. - It's wild. - And disappointed. - Wild. - I'm scared. No, wait, it's coming! What? - Yeah, crazy. - I do feel like, anyways, everything is so negative. Would you agree? - Yeah. - It's like, and I feel like to the point where,

Like the internet. I'm getting real deep with you. This is a great time to take a shit. And thank you for letting me talk at all on your platform to your beautiful listeners, watchers, all the bald and beautiful beauties out there. It's like...

I feel like the internet has definitely changed the way we communicate with each other. Everybody's on the internet right now watching this. I look, I am addicted to my phone. I got like a watch because I saw someone. I was like, oh my God, are you a time traveler? Oh, I love a regular watch. I got a regular watch. Because I was like, oh, if I don't, if I can look at my watch and not my phone, I will not be like, and now I'm on my phone. He's on his phone. It's a huge difference. Right now, everybody's on their phone. They can't help it. But it makes a huge difference though. I love an analog watch. Love it.

But I feel like also the problem with the internet, even though it's freed people, it's helping people find their voices and platforms. And that part is good, but yeah,

I think it's the thing that gets the most clicks, like for movie reviews, for example, and other things is if it's negative. If it's a negative news story, we're going to click on it. And I think it's just making us feel a little bit like the whole world sucks and it's negative because we're looking at the world through a little negative box. Yeah.

I'm not saying Pollyanna, the world is beautiful and wonderful, but I am saying I think it's better than what the phone is telling us. And I think if you were able to talk to people like, aren't you feeling good right now? Feeling great. I mean, I only agreed to do it because there's cameras and this is going to go on the phone. But this is nice, right? But also, it is an established, well-known fact that...

that you're the echo chamber that you, that you have curated on social media is not an accurate representation of what actually happens in real life. Yeah. Like Twitter does not equal real. No. And that's like, we know that. Yeah. But we still look at it every morning. Can't help it. I blocked it from nine to nine. Well, ever since the, it changed and there's like ads and stuff. I'm like, Oh, it's just, it's just looking at a bunch of crap. I mean,

It's just looking at a bunch of crap. You need, I don't know. Instagram too. Like I found you guys. Well, I met you through Harvey Guion and stuff like that, but I followed you guys instantly and you were so lovely. I kept like keeping up with you guys and somehow it changed. I haven't seen you guys on my Instagram feed and like,

Anti-gay. I guess they found out I'm anti-gay and the analog changed. I didn't know it, but I miss you guys. We have to like search you to get back onto you. Like it's, I don't know. In any case, it's telling me what to think and what to do. It's telling you what to think and what to do. Trixie's going on. She's on a social media cleanse as we speak. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. I think, well, I think we're almost

almost gonna wrap it up. I got on a soapbox and I really hope, Dave, maybe you edit out the soapbox because it wasn't that smart. No, no, we're keeping it in. It wasn't that smart. Keeping it in. Blast, I just want to ask you quickly about what we do in the shadows. That's coming up. Oh, also my movie's coming out on Thursday. Talk about it. Mine's by Eternal City on Amazon. It's a movie for families. Okay.

- Okay. - So no sex and gore. - No. - God damn. - But a really good 14 year old named Chloe Coleman and David Batiste is also the star. - Fabulous. - He's cool. - He's cool. Have you seen "Dune"? - Yeah, of course.

I love Dune. It's good. I mean, I had to ask a lot of questions for Dune 1, being like, why are they, what is that? Because it doesn't answer it. No, no, no. You have to have like a nerd who's like read the books beside you. Yeah. But I had one, my husband, so it worked. Yeah. And I really enjoyed Dune 2. Yeah, Dune 2 was fucking rad. See the Messiah or what? Well, so I read the books. And his name is Paul.

I mean, in this space odyssey where there's, you know, there's time travel and, you know, centuries long genetic plots by witches. And then there's a character called Duncan Idaho. It's like so weird. He's just trying to connect. Duncan Idaho. And I guess I've read, I'm halfway through the fifth book and I'm kind of irked because I don't like the books very much.

But now I'm hate reading them. That's okay. Yeah. I'm like spite reading them. Like, cause you know, started something. I might as well just finish it. But it's like a slog to get through. Can I tell you? Please. Put it down. Okay. Okay. You don't need to do that. Throw them away. You don't need to read something you're not enjoying. There's so much out there to pick up. Could you recommend something else? Oh yeah. Well, I mean right now this is a quick read, but I'm really, it's coming out soon. It's Simon Rich has a new book called, I forget it.

something trophy it's good and then this one I don't know if this it's called All Fours by Miranda July it's her new book it's like it's so horny oh really and it taught me a lot about sex

- You wrote a book, a sexy book though. - I did, but this, she's like having sex with all kinds of people. - Okay. - And I learned a lot. In an embarrassing way. Like I'm 46 and I'm just like kind of visiting this style of sex right now. Like, ah, I should know more. I should be better.

But it was so good. She's a great writer. Yeah, she's awesome. I've read a couple of her books. Fierce. Okay. Well, I think that's it. Yeah, so put down your dumb Dune book and pick up all fours. Yeah, Miranda July. All fours. Fierce. I hate it when people are like, I want to finish it. I know, but it's like...

- Well, you're gonna get a trophy? You wanna get a sticker? - Yeah, nobody's gonna give me a trophy. - No, you're just gonna like flogging yourself. - It feels like self-flagellation. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm gonna put it down. I'm gonna throw it away. I'm gonna burn it. I'm gonna burn it. - Oh, how fun. - Well, thank you so much for being here. - Yeah, let's call this. - Listen, you are a real Hollywood star.

thanks Katya and thank you for listening to me and thanks for wanting to have me on your show I was like very I was so nervous and I was like so but now this is great me too the idolation goes back to you as well can I tell you can I tell you to your can I this is so I hate when people do this but yeah um I mean like one of your jokes oh what I'm taller what oh one of your jokes from your stand-up routine that I'm obsessed with is like

Go something like, you know, they say like the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I found a nice detour through his penis. That's the joke. That's the joke. That's so great. Thank you. I love that. See, that Kristen doing stand-up, that was fun. Yeah, it was great. Thank you for remembering. Rest in peace, stand-up Kristen. You'll carry on the memory. Thank you.

All right. I'm sweating. We got to go. Thank you so much. You are a legend. Thank you for coming. And this was a blast. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Where can people find you on the phone?

Oh, I don't care. Okay. I mean, I got, I am a terrible poster on Instagram. K dot Shaw. I, I really bad at it. I don't like pictures of myself. It's not my medium. What else? Twitter. I barely touch it. Scared saying the wrong things. Ah, um, you know, perfect. Yeah. Awesome. We'll, we'll link your, uh, we'll put, um, your home address in the comments. Can you put this address? Yes. Yes.

That's so funny. Yeah. We're currently in Skid Row in an abandoned building with no bathroom or heating. I mean, there is good looking people walking around outside. Yeah. But there's also a lot of- Am I right, Charles? I was like, wow. Yeah. Like, what is going on with this neighborhood? Yeah. Okay. Great. Thank you so much. Goodbye. Let's call this. Get her off the bike!

you

Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you, you watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself.

I have fully done things around the home that I think look good and then a bang in the night and I wake up to a shelf collapsing, a painting falling off the wall. Like it, I've seen it all go south. I own a home and I can tell you, I know how much work it can take. Whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

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