Big Tweaker Energy with Jamie Kennedy
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Oh my God, welcome back to another lovely episode of The Bald and the Beautiful. I am Trixie Mattel. I couldn't agree more. And I'm also Katya. And today we have the distinct pleasure of having, is this our first heterosexual guest? I am, first of all, I do not believe in labels. I don't believe in labels, honey. I don't, I don't see that. I don't do that. But it is our first, I believe, accomplished Hollywood actor. A straight person is just someone who hasn't seen the prom yet.

- Actually, I watched the prom and it turned me straight. - Oh word! - It was so gay that I said, no, I don't want that. I'm not that gay. - Boom, boom, boom, boom. Here we are. - Hi Jamie, welcome back. - Yay!

We had some previous technical difficulties and we've grown and we've worked through that. Yeah, in the drag industry, we call these testicular difficulties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were just introducing you. You're probably the first. Is this the first heterosexual person we've had on the podcast? Hey, I'm not going to assume. I'm not going to assume his preference, but yeah, I think so. You've never had a head stroke? I don't think so.

So I'm like a gold-plated guest. Is that what they call it? You're a diamond in the... Pearls before swine or whatever they say. You're certainly one of the most decorated Hollywood icons. I'm so happy you reached out. We have Jamie Kennedy here, everybody. Thank you for having me. How are you doing today, Jamie?

I'm really good. I actually just opened this up because I spilled coffee in between our mixed stuff. Oh, perfect. In a white outfit, it's over for you. I know. Pre-Memorial Day. Oh my God. You're semi-new to the podcasting world yourself too, right? Ish. I started in 2017 and I did a little bit, but I got so busy. It's a lot of work. And then

Once the pandemic hit, I'm like, I just really got to do it. And I just look at a podcast, not like a Twitter handle or Instagram. It's just another, you know, thing of who you are. And so I've been doing it pretty consistently for them. Do you ever, like, I don't know. Sometimes I...

I there between the various forms of social media and then the podcast and other like um and especially because we often do uh forms of media that basically just show ourselves not characters really or acting sometimes I just want to say all of this and go live in a hut in like Siberia yeah you ever want to live in a hut in Siberia

Definitely the hut, not Siberia, probably like, you know, Fort Myers, somewhere down there in Florida, you know, a little tiki hut, a little ROM action, you know what I mean? Definitely, it's

It's like overwhelming on, you got to post here and I got to add a tag and then I got to do a link and then they got to swipe it up. Yeah. And just when you have a handle on one, they invent a new one. And then it's also like, I know clubhouse. I've been in clubhouse. It's like, I can't sit here for five hours with this conversation. Okay. How many cancellations are going to happen? You have to explain to me.

- Please explain to me what in the, 'cause I got invited by my friend in Spain to join Clubhouse and then she described what it was and I was like, that sounds like a fucking nightmare. - It sounds horrible. - What is it? - Oh, it's a nightmare. - What, what, what? - Well, everybody's on it now, all the influencers and people. So, I mean, you did have Elon in there and Mark Zuckerberg and everybody else.

And basically, you get invited. I didn't get invited by four or five people. And I was still in beta. But basically, you're having a pod about something. And all of a sudden, you have people that are watching. So you're on stage. And maybe you'll have one other person. You're just talking amongst yourself. And then you'll have an audience of 12 people. And then you can say, hey, there's Priscilla. Let's let her come up.

And then she may say something to you. The thing is, though, people stay on it for hours and they say shit and they forget they're talking. And now people are recording those combos and putting them on YouTube and going, oh, so-and-so is on so-and-so. And here's what they said. It's a wrap.

That sounds like a cancellation. It sounds like a trap. I think it's a trap. It could be like a trap. It could be like what they did. Oh, that's interesting. I mean, there's another one going to come out now and I just forgot the name of it, but it's going to come. It's going to be there. Another version of it.

Oh, my God. I mean, that sounds like someone who sounds like a like a tabloid, you know, a reporter is like, how can we how can we leverage people's narcissism into like a surefire way to get them like to say shit that they will get, you know, cancel. Right. As if we need any more, you know. Wow. Here's what else is happening. OK, so I don't know. I assume your hours are bizarre, right? Like I see like especially this one.

Every night I feel like I wake up between 3 and 5. I know. I know it's like the witchy now, but I feel like it's been happening a lot, right? And you could go on Clubhouse and it'll be packed with people just talking. Do you know how loopy you are at 3 a.m.? That's totally tweaker. That is big tweaker energy right there.

But it's not. It's all types of industry and people talking. People are up at 2 a.m. giving oratory speakings. And they're talking in different industries about music, about comedy, about fashion. You can just listen.

It's great. Whoa. I am so glad that this was not around like two years ago because I mean, I could, this is something I would do if I'm alone and I'm in a man, like, and I'm in like a fit of mania, I would get on and be like, I'm going to give a lecture on physics. Yeah.

Totally. Oh my God. I never took a physics class in my life, but I just stream of consciousness. You'd be on a bender like, how about to let these children have it? Yeah, I want to know about quantum theory. Here we go. And then it would just, before you know it, I'm like, you know, that's really frightening. That's, but it's popular. Are me drunk ranting about my family? It's,

So, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

Everyone in LA I know who is, you know, quote unquote, influential is on it. A lot of people in Silicon Valley is on it. And I think it's just normal people are chomping at the bit to get in there. It's crazy. I mean, I have to, you kind of hit your first like big few hits when you were at an age where now to be that age and like be famous, you have to be plugged into every platform at all time. Yeah. Or they're not interested. Yeah.

Which is so fascinating. Like you don't really have an option to like break through and not have Instagram now. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. No way. It's like you, they look at you now. How many followers? I had a,

an activist told me recently she walked in and the casting was like how many followers you got what's your collective count and like this girl who's not that known in mainstream but is huge she's like well i have eight million and all the like literally three girls got up and was like bye and it's a big deal now because i was you know you were reading for a part with these girls

The 90s was the last, like, I believe, mainstream. You know what I mean? And now it's been disrupted, which is great, you know, because everybody deserves a voice and everybody can be creative and there's a lot of great stuff coming out of the new forms of distribution. But like,

you know i'm always we had the video camera so that was a big thing in the 90s but you could like get the tape and like throw it out if there was something weird you know right but now it's done it's a wrap like people are just keeping snapping not disappearing vanishing i don't text

anything I wouldn't say in person. Oh, that's good to live by. I mean, honestly, like people now have to start doing standup constantly, like knowing that that moment could live forever, I guess out of context. And I guess before it was not the case. Yeah. We were just talking about now we had shows. We can't even count on like,

shows being not pirated, like stand up being pirated. The second you think of something brand new set, you're trying out somebody tapes it and puts it out there. And it's like, well, then you go to a show and your fans have already heard it.

Oh, it's, it's, it's, yeah, there's no gym anymore unless you like shut down the cameras and that's just harder to do. You have to just make peace with it. You know, it's like Napster, you know, you can't fight it. You got to just go with it. And, and there's going to be a lot of parallel thinking and then there's going to be things taking out of context and there's, you know, so it's, there was a time though where you would be like, you know, but let's try to,

This person didn't mean that or whatever. Not now. We just live in this new culture where they're like, ooh, get that person. Take them down. It's an interesting, it's a large fund.

It's a wrap. So when I was probably to have you at, which I'm so happy you're here, I have to ask you, you know, this one and I work in an industry where everybody has an alter ego. We have a fake personality. I have to ask you about a certain Marty powers. Please tell us about Marty powers.

A hundred percent. He didn't have, he didn't put wigs on though. It's a different alter ego, but he was fabulous. But no, it was basically like, you know, I was, I was starting out. I was very broke, you know, as we all are. And I was working as a telemarketer.

in Hollywood, not too far from the seventh veil, you know, like that, you know? And so it was like, we would go and we were selling toner, you know, toner is this stuff that you put in a coffee machine. There was an unsexy job. And I was, well, I was getting, it depends how you really, I was where you're at. Yeah.

But so I had to basically call different cities and try to basically find out the copy machine. And that's how the people would sell. They would find who's in the office. So I'd be like, I'd be like, hi, Michael. Hi, how are you? This is Phil down here at Copies R Us. And basically what we're doing is I need to find that copy machine. So what's it say on it there?

I would have to call. I'd call all over the country. So let's ask POM Tech. I'd be like, hey, how are you, Mabel? This is Jeffrey down there at Coppice R Us. And basically, I need to get that copier number on that machine. You can get in there. And so she would go, all right, let me go get that for you. And it would be like FT-109. And that would be like a Canon.

or something. And basically, I would then find that number and then I would go and give that number to our salesperson and they would try to sell them a better tone. And that's basically how it started. But I would call Brooklyn and be like, hey, how are you? So,

I would call a lot of places doing a lot of different accents and that's how I got to do it with Marty. And so I looked at myself as a product. I read a book called Thinking Grow Rich and then basically told me how I could do it and basically how to treat yourself as a product. Take three no's, hang up, all of that stuff. This is the Jamie Kennedy School of Acting. Oh my God. How to sell yourself. Yeah. Yeah, you got to. Well, here's what you would do, right? You would look at yourself and you would say,

Name five people in your industry, okay? And look at five traits that you feel that you're better than them at and five traits where you can improve it.

So whatever you're in, I would look around at people that were very successful or just getting TV spots. And I'm like, well, I didn't get with that person last week. I got big laughs. I think it's good looking, if not better. I'm very physical on stage. You know, I, I would be like, I would break it down and then I would be like, I have to do this. And so you build this confidence up, you know what I'm saying? Confidence. So Marty Powers was your fake agent, basically?

Marty Power was a character that I did and basically in a nutshell, it was, I'm trying to do it here. It was a very, it was an older character. It's harder to do it because I don't really have the microphone. And what you would do is you compared things. So back in the day, I would say, yeah, I had a kid here who was a cross between Robbie Benson

and James Woods. And that was a huge... Remember Robbie? Oh, God. In the early 90s, that was a good mix because it was like lovable puppy dog, but like a little edgy, a little psycho. So that's how I was done. Oh, my God. And that voice is... I believe that voice. I love... You should be like, everyone shut up. It'd be a house party. You'd be like, everyone shut up. Turn off the music. It's for Marty. Oh, whoa. I mean, that's a really smart idea. It's like, I think, you know...

That's like a thing if you're starting out and you say, call my office or whatever your answer is. Hello, this is Dr. Susan's office. I can connect you right away. You do that and then there's like an air of legitimacy is conveyed, right? When I first started selling my own merchandise, I sold it myself and I was touring at the same time. So I'll be gone for weeks and then the emails will start to roll on like, where's my shirt?

And I had a Steven from my merchandise, which was me answering emails. Yeah. And then if they were really mad, I would chime in for my real email and personally apologize. And they'd be like, it's okay. I'm such a fan. Yeah. I think it's important. A lot of people. Yeah.

You have to. Who's giving us a break? Yeah. Yeah. And also sometimes. I watched you in the beginning. No one wants you in this movie. Especially when we watch you, but we need you to have credits. It's like, well, no one gave you a credit. So then you don't have a credit. So how do you get a credit without a credit, Mary?

- Exactly. You have to be cosigned. Someone else has to like you first and then you get the tape and then the tape goes and it, yeah, totally that. - Yeah. - Now, I mean, Wes, I want to talk about auditions because I went like, I've only had a few auditions for like, you know, teeny small acting roles and almost, I think every single one of them was absolutely terrifying, horribly, like, and I just,

I mean, it was so bad. It was bombed so bad. I mean, in the best circumstances, I can act pretty decently well, but what was the worst audition experience you've ever had? You guys have seen the face, too. It's like, how much time do you have? Hey.

I mean, that's like, I wish I prepared for that. Can I ask you, I'll ask you a version of that. Go for it. I'm thinking, I'm thinking of a couple, but go for it. You've had like the privilege of like having the script in your hand to audition for so many movies, like Clueless, which is my all time favorite movie. Titanic, of course. Is there anything that you were like, I would have fucking nailed that?

Um, we were standing outside their house, like you're making a mistake here. I'm getting Marty. Um, you know, I really, you know, I did a table read for a movie called saving Silverman. Do you remember that movie? Yes. Bigs. It wasn't a huge movie, but it would have been a great breakthrough for me as like a beginning starring role. And, um,

when you do a table read it kind of like green lights the movie you know so the director was there who directed it to dennis duke michael keaton was at the table read jack black steve zon i think jason no jason lee was there so some of the actors that were in the movie were there and some of the actors weren't there and um

I really wanted that role because it was like... And Amanda Peete, I believe, was his girlfriend. I'm not sure if Nina Suvar was in it, but it was just a fun little comedy. And I really... I did so much preparation in the reading of it. I thought, oh, I hope I could get that. But I didn't. So that was... When you do table reads, you really want to get the role. I was like... In terms of movies, shit, I'm trying to think of a movie that I was really up for that you would know that I didn't get. I mean, I'm trying to think of like...

There was a couple, there was a movie called the big hit of Mark Wahlberg. That was a great movie. And I was in that movie, but the schedule didn't work. So I couldn't do that. Cause I feel like you do leave with a feeling like I really am good for that. You know what I mean? You leave with like, Ooh, I would be really good for that. I think I really should have been. Um,

Troy, you know, I thought I had the same type of chest as Brad Pitt, but, you know, I understand they wanted it. I mean, yeah. Yeah. That's kind of his. I tried out for Rose McGowan. I could have been soldier number six, neurotic. Come on, Troy, what are you doing? I could have played woman number two. Yeah. I would have been a great Nomi in Showgirls.

I have the same body. You have the same body. I have exactly the same body type. I could have been Gina Gershon. Do you like the movie Showgirls, Jamie? Of course. Showgirls. You don't even know my connection with it. Well, Showgirls is like coming around as kind of this like beautiful piece of pop art, right? I think it's getting the appreciation it deserves. Totally. And at the time, I think it was misunderstood. I think it was over the top. It was meant to be.

And I was just talking to one of the actors who I love, Robert Davi, who was in it. And he's got one of the most craziest, I don't know if I could say it on the pod, lines in cinematic history. He's what? Which line is it?

I mean, can I say it? We'll believe it. Absolutely. He's like, look, you know what? And if they don't come, it's something about, if they don't come in your face, you know, you got to ask what? Something literally, he says that. And that was a big, that was a huge, like, I mean, that would be a big line today, but back then, it was crazy. And that movie is,

as one of the movies that randy quotes he says you know you know absolutely frightening and screen twos you know showgirl and now i think that people are i don't know i've been hearing a lot about showgirls lately and i think people i love showgirls yeah i mean i do too yeah at the time i i mean i did i watched the document or the documentary or something i there was at the time i feel like gina gershon knew

During filming, she knew what was happening. You think? No, no, she knew. She said that she knew this was camp, but other people did not. Like Elizabeth Berkley. So like, you know, there was a lot of like, there was a realization on her part of like, oh, I know what kind of movie we're making here. But other people involved didn't. And like Elizabeth Berkley just went for it. And then it was panned. But it is one of the most

watchable movies I've ever, you know, in terms of quote unquote bad films. It is so gripping, so entertaining. Every scene is. Yeah. It's big. It's bold. It's loud. It's over the top. It's sexy. It's in your face. I love it. And the dance scenes were real good. Let's take a break.

The Bald and the Beautiful is supported by FX's English Teacher. From Paul Sims, the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows, FX's English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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I have to say, when I first saw that movie, I didn't know that people thought it was bad. I was like, oh, that was a cool movie, but I understand that gay people might have a proclivity for the over-the-top campness of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, it really fucked Elizabeth Berkley up for a long time.

Yeah, listen, I'm not one to comment on it because I wasn't in it. And I know how hard it is to make a movie. I like the movie. I'm saying that some of the reviews might have been a little harsher. But I think it's coming around now is this big...

kind of shining light of art. Like you said, it was big and it was bold and it was cabaret-esque. Yeah. Total, like his, Paul Verhoeven is so, like his movies are incredible. Total Recall, I mean, so wild, so wild and over the top. I mean, also, she is so,

fucking hot in that movie yeah the like purple makeup with like i mean her body is insane insane totally insane yeah that pool scene the sex scene in the pool yeah crazy so crazy also that she and um gina john talking about doggy chow you know how they used to eat dog food in this like you know lesbian erotica like moment in vegas talking about dog food i mean it's a little over the top yeah whenever i go to the mall in vegas there's that what's it called the mall there

They're eating at the food court in that mall. Whenever I go through there, I think of like, we're all whores, darling. Yeah, yeah.

I know that mall has like show in it. Yeah. What's it called? It's called like, Oh God, people are going to be reminded of it. It's called like, it's called, it's like, isn't it like an Egyptian theme that mall? Oh, the Egyptian. I don't remember. Anyway, I always think of that scene. Yeah. Do you like Vegas? Do you work at, have you worked in Vegas a lot? A lot. I love Vegas. I do. I'm all about it. It's actually a whole other subculture there of like,

Summerlin and Henderson that's off the strip that's really healthy and you can like work out and play golf and but I love the strip too I'm all about you know eating a buffet yeah I will say that was a Bacchanal that Bacchanal buffet is lit it's insane

top five like it's gotten reviews like a worldwide it is a worldwide it's incredible the bacchanal you had the line is hours you have to get a good players but the food is it is like amazing i don't give a shit what kind of food it is i'm not gonna wait hours in line you can you can get in with the vip card or something but it's every type of food and i mean like

Michelin star chefs. It's incredible. Yeah. Even just like desserts alone is worth it. Yeah. Jesus Christ. It's really fierce. I mean, I did go, the first time I went to Vegas, I cried at the Fountains of Bellagio.

Because they told you no swimming? No, because I didn't think, you know, the water, and then Sarah Brightman was playing, and I cried. I have a question for you, Jamie, that I'm kind of asking all the comedians. What's going to happen when we all go back to the stage? Like, do you remember your sets at all?

Yeah, I mean, I've actually been doing it slowly. We've been playing in parking lots and fields and... Tell me everything. Mountain valleys. Because I have talked to, like, I was talking to Whitney Cummings about this, and she said it's a different experience out there with people in their cars and stuff. Oh, it totally is. You get a honk, and you're like, ah, I didn't know.

headlights um it is different it's nothing like the human interaction obviously but i would say yeah i mean i've been writing some newer stuff and mixing it but no i can't remember half of it and just you'll be amazed though how many people really do they're so appreciative

So crowds are very, and less offended, you know? So they're much more like, oh, thank you. And it's therapeutic. You're going to realize how therapeutic it is for you when you do it. You really do count your blessings, not to sound corny. Yeah, that makes sense. It feels like there would probably be less, like more of a grateful element in the audience and make perhaps less hecklers once things come back to like normal or whatever. Yeah. I mean, at least I hope.

Yeah, for sure. It is. There's enough to worry about.

to not worry about a joke, but I'm sure there's gonna still be people that do worry about that. - Besides there's cars out there, if they see something they don't like, they'll just put it in drive and take you out. - Drive off. You know what's crazy is I did the Roosevelt last week, so they've been doing these shows in the parking lot and it was great. But like the first, it looked packed. And then I realized the first three rows were like the active cars. And then last three rows were just parked cars.

I was like, no, no. I thought I was like killing in the first three rows. I'm like, the last three rows hates me. But I'm like, oh, nobody knows. That's fucking funny. They're just abandoned vehicles that haven't run in years. They just told you there's people there. Oh my God. You could do like a cemetery set with people just perched on individual gravestones. Yeah.

you know what i mean well they do those movies in the cemetery right yeah they do don't they i think and that hollywood forever i think or yeah yeah they do they do they do have you been to those jamie i haven't i'm supposed to go because scream is playing a few times in different movies i've been in but i haven't but i heard they're amazing they're just big like inflatable you know movies doesn't screenplay but probably semi-regularly there i'm sure i mean

If you're going to sit in the graveyard. Yeah. Can I ask you a ghost question? You get good residual checks from that movie? From those movies? From the show? No, from Scream.

oh yeah we do very well he's it's he's got an assistant and he's got i know i know i'm just curious though i'm just curious i get i did one enterprise an enterprise you know what i have is enterprise is a great program where you can rent a car for a monthly and it's a better deal in that way i'm trying to figure out what carmen to get my last car was done pre-pandemic

So that's what that is. And so I have different car every month. You got to give us some car advice. Yeah. We want cars.

Okay, well, hold on. I was Ubering so much and I was out of town so much that I was like, I had a car and I never used it. Well, that's the thing. Yeah. And so then I sold it and I was like, I don't need a car. And now I need a car. And so I don't know, do you want to buy one? You can buy one, but it's like a depreciating asset. I want to steal one, Jay. It is a depreciating asset. But wait, let me, so if I have a car and I don't use it,

Do you lose it? It's not like it doesn't like atrophy necessarily the same way a person's muscles would if they were bedridden, right? Like I'm not, I don't have to go wash the sores and like, you know, but like, I know that if I left it alone for 10 years, something bad would probably happen. Maybe. I don't know.

They would just get outdated, you know, and they're updating them so quick now. And it's like, it is, they literally say, well, you drive a car off the lot. You basically lost money. Yeah. You're like, it's like you would snip a hole in your pocket as you, as you walk away. Yeah. You've had some hot sexy cars. I'm sure. I know when you did scream, did you buy yourself like a retro Porsche or something? Did you have a fancy car? Good research. I, my first,

big purchase. I took pretty much my whole paycheck, which was about $18,000, which is a lot of money. It's still a lot of money. Yeah, that's a lot of money. And I went and I bought myself... It was like $18,000 I made on the movie and the car was like $18,500. And so I went and I bought a BMW.

And it was like a used, but it was like a stick shift. It was like a 328. It was like a little off 325. And it just zipped everywhere. And I told my mom, I'm like, mom, I got my first purchase out of Hollywood. She's like, what'd you get? I'm like, BMW 328, you know, stick shift. And she's like, that's a showy car. Show off.

Mr. Showoff had to get a BMW. What is wrong with a Honda? I mean, I worked six years. What's wrong with an Acura? Showoff. I mean, she really pissed me off. I was like, screw you. This is what I want. You know what? Let me tell you what, moms. You're never going to get the reaction you want. I know. You never get, whether good or bad, you never, I bought my mom a house this year.

She was my mom's my mom owns my mom rents a trailer in the country. I bought her a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar four bedroom home in Milwaukee. And I brought that one. You're talking like shows are going good. It's that sick podcast money. But, you know, I bought this house for her. I bring her my mom rents a trailer in the country. I bring her there. She goes, they look bigger in pictures.

Do you want to move back to the trailer, mom? Is that what you want? Yeah. What state is she from? She's from here. Wisconsin. So she was lit. Oh, it's cold. Yeah. Yeah.

beer beer battered cheese curds in a cold in a trailer and you get her a house yes and she's like she's like it has stairs you know I don't have good knees how am I supposed to get down to the I'm like I'm sorry your house has so many floors I'm over here in my 1200 square foot I'm

you know Hollywood pad but anyway moms will never give you what you want but I will say I read that on screen too when your character rest in peace passes away your mom was on set that day watching you get brutally murdered this is all facts yes that was actually a beautiful moment if you can make it one because I had like the whole afternoon it was just me you know what I mean and so

I had the killer and he's stalking me and all the different angles. And so Roger, who's also some of those ghost face is like, he's really, he sounds really scary. So West gave me a phone. My mom and dad were visiting and the stuff that he said to me during the scene is not what's in the movie.

And was he trying to make you look, you know, he could say stuff and I would be like, weirded out. And he would, I forget he says a couple personal things. Whoa. And then he said, I don't give a mother.

Yeah, there is next to me. And I remember my mom was like there and Weston tell me where he was. I didn't know where would they call base? Where that where the tent is when you're looking where the monitors are. And so I had no idea. And I'm just looking around. So when I'm looking, I'm actually looking up there like what the hell I bet you got shopping.

And so he got me good. He got me good. I would love it if he had some personal issues he wanted to work on before you left. And he was like, and I always thought you were really short. And your mom thinks your car is short. Yeah. Take that BMW. Yeah.

The stick shift, huh? You think you're hot shit. Do you think I could learn a stick? How long does it take to learn a stick shift? I know how to drive technically. Like, I mean, I could get, you know, I could drive a mile without killing anybody or myself pretty confidently, but I have no idea how to learn a stick shift. How long do you think it takes to do that? And is it worth learning at this point in my life? I'm over 40. I'll take my answer off the air.

I think we're all not going to have to drive soon. Even cars are going to be picking us up. But, you know, you go to Target parking lot, it's not hard. A couple of lessons. It's basically like this. Here's your foot. Here's the stick. Right? So as, imagine it's like a gripping thing. Right? So as you're, push that in and the car won't move. So as you let your foot, you put the thing in. So it's like, boom, boom, burst. Right?

Then slowly let the thing out. And as it goes, it will catch. And then you'll start zooming. And then as that's coming, the pedal is going. Does this make sense? Gas. So you guys are left on the gas, right on the clutch. Left on the clutch, right on the gas. But don't, you take the gas, you let it come out slowly. And then you give it a little bit of gas. Let me ask this. Practice in a parking lot. And then when it goes...

Can we get you to commit to giving us two to five stick shift driving lessons? Yeah. Target parking lot. Why would people, why, why, why, why, why do people drive standard transmissions? Is it funner? Is it more fun? Is standard stick? Stick, yeah. Oh, you mean stick. Oh, because when I had my BMW, I don't know if you guys remember the 90s in LA and maybe weren't around then, but

everybody had the BMW and the Porsche. And there's something about like, well, it's still bumper to bumper, but now it's all different. But when you're going over the 405, you know, you can really open it up. I'm not even a car guy, but it beautifully car, a European car is so beautifully made and it's,

not to sound like a car hit and I'm not but it's tight so it's like you can really feel the power BMWs are so good so the stick is good for like really kind of airing it out if you will okay I feel like that like top-down California dream and zoom zoom lifestyle yeah yeah totally stick I could teach you you know how to drive a standard I do not believe you in the country it's like all the big trucks are stick

I've only thought about it because like, what if, you know, I'm driving somewhere and get in a car accident and somebody's like, you know, unconscious dead and I need to drive the car to the hospital or something like that. You know, there's so many scenarios. But you used to have a license, right? Yeah, I have a license. It's just expired. I know how to drive. Right. But I have no idea about the stick shift. And I, but I see, I know dumb ass people, people who have, I mean, close to like, you know,

Neanderthal IQs who drive very well with the stick shift. So I have a certain level of confidence I could learn it.

Yeah, it's just a couple of moves. You could do it easily. We're dreaming big down here. You want to do it just because you're scared of an accident. Put those thoughts out of your head. Do you think that leasing a car... I'm sorry about the car talk. Really, yeah, but should I lease a car? Is it worth it to lease a car? This is so funny. You're our only straight friend. Please help us. Dad, please. I'm not like a gearhead or anything. You're like...

- Yeah, but like in this group, you are the gear head. You are need for speed, fast and furious, okay? Also, we should take my brother for his birthday. I'm trying to impress this girl and I'm just kidding. - Does he manscape? - Jamie's like, "Get him a manscape. Use my code. Use my offer code." - I don't think you should buy a car. Just lease a car. - Just lease it? Okay.

Are you from LA? No, I'm from Boston. Yeah, so you were like me. You took the subway. So you didn't need to drive. So you've got to get a car. You've got to get a car. Right now, you want to sit in an Uber with somebody, you know, a little dicey.

What kind of card do you want to get? What's the vibe? It's okay. I found it. It's a small, it's a Range Rover. It's a Range Rover. Um, but it's not the little baby ones. Yeah. It's called the, um, something Q, uh, some, there's something, something, something cute. It's a, it's a baby Range Rover. You know how Range Rover is a kind of giant Range Rover.

Yeah, and the Land Rovers are tall. They don't have a lot of headroom. I still like such a car head. I swear I'm not a car head, but the way you ask me these questions, I just know these cars. They're small, but they zip. Like you don't want to go to the Palm Springs. Yeah, the Land Rover Evoque or something like that. Or you want to go to Big Bear. They're good for those trips. Yeah, because if I'm going to get a car, I don't want like a Miata. I need to have a lot of shit in my car.

Although I don't want to have enough space to have to drive people around. Oh, I don't know. Right. My car. Sorry. Plus for you, situations might change where housing becomes an issue. Yeah. Maybe I need to live in the car for a few weeks. Yeah. She wants to get a fucking vintage beetle. I want to get a beetle, man.

Listen, I make a lot of choices that Bill makes. I've owned a smart car, so I make a lot of hard left choices. Whoa. It's a go-kart. Imagine me, Jamie, pulling up to the gay clubs in like 2012 in full drag, 6'5", blonde hair, getting out of a clown car. And because that car was so small, I could pull up to the gay club back up against the curb.

and that still fit like the parking wow crazy wow did you do that just because that's what you could afford or you wanted to make it an entrance well a i thought it was cool and b at the time a brand new smart car was like 12 000 so i a broke person could afford like a brand new car yeah i could never dream about affording a car ever and those cars are made with 96 recycled materials isn't that a gag

It's a gag when you get fucking bowled over by a Volvo on the highway. It was cool. I mean, for me, I was like, I'm never going to have kids. I don't need to know who's back there. But it did have a weight limit, and I loved my roommate. My roommate was a really big guy. And it is a 500-pound weight limit, and I couldn't give him rides, which was a gag. And that was my out. Can't. Sorry, fat. I can't give you a ride. Yeah. It created some friction. You know, Jamie, we have a crossed wire because we're good friends with Darren Stein.

Are you? Yes, we know her. We love her because she loves drag. Wait, do you know what's funny? I don't know if I can say this. You just reminded me that Darren is gay, correct? Yes. Yes.

I almost forgot. Wait, Jamie's asking if Darren Stein, who wrote Jawbreakers, is gay. I was like, did he or did she come out in between? I'm like, oh, I think she was. Was he maybe not out during Sparkler? No, definitely. Definitely. But you just reminded me because it's been a minute since I did that movie. But I think that movie is kind of an iconic movie in the gay community. It's very hard to find.

It is, but I believe that Darren just got it on, I want to say Netflix. And DVD. He recently texted me, like, if you come over, I got a copy for you. Because he says it's really hard. The hard copies are really hard to come by. Wait, where? I love Darren. He's such a good person. Such an icon. That was such...

That was my first time in Vegas. That was my first time being like a co-lead. He took such good care of us. And it was just with Park and with, oh, God. That was pretty early for you, too. It was like early in your career. Yeah, it was just, we had so much fun. That was like a family, you know what I mean? That set. That's awesome.

How do you guys know each other, I guess? Oh, I met him at DragCon. He was at RuPaul's DragCon. It's this big drag convention. And he came up to me and he was like, hey, I know you've talked about interviews, your favorite movie is Jawbreaker. I made that movie. And I was like, what? And then he actually hosts these big RuPaul's Drag Race viewing parties at his house. He has this giant projector and he has all the gays...

and he hosts big oscar parties too but um yeah he loves to watch the girls back in the day i don't know if he was married back then or the boyfriend i don't know i haven't seen him in a while and you worked with veronica carwright in that movie icon yes incredible incredible she is and sandy

Sandy too. Icon. Veronica. Icon. We are so obsessed with her. We are obsessed with her in Witches of Eastwick. She's so fucking good. When she's possessed puking up all those cherries. Yeah. And then I played her. I was in a music video with Veronica. She was so...

What music video? It was for this band Deep Valley. And in the video, I played like a, what's her name? The young girl, the pageant girl who was killed. JonBenet. I played like a JonBenet Ramsey, like a drag queen, like a, and she was my mom.

and the whole video we're in this trailer park and I'm tap dancing and she's like cracking the whip and then she's feeding me baby food and then at the end we're in a trailer and she strangled me with Christmas lights. It was so surreal. I'm like, I'm calling my mom like Veronica Cartwright is strangling me today.

But I love her. What song was that? I think I heard that. I think I saw that video. Well, Darren actually directed the video. Darren Stein directed it. It was Itty Bitty Beauty, Little Bitty Beauty Queen, I believe it's called. I think I saw that video because I remember the Christmas-like strangle.

The Christmas lights drink. Do you miss the blonde highlights in Sparkler? Be honest. Do you know what that's from? That was from As Good As It Gets. And I was in that movie and then I had blonde highlights and then Darren liked it so he just kept it. And so I went over, but yeah, I do. You're cute. Do you miss the pink hair from Romeo and Juliet? Do I miss the what? The pink hair.

Oh, I wonder if I like people realize, I feel like I kind of started that because we were in the movie and, and Baz is like, what do you want to do? And I'm like, you know, this, we had all different palettes of different looks. And I was like,

You know, I think I got to go, I got to dye my hair first off. And I wanted to do that. He's like, I think you should do it with dyed in plum. And I'm like, since there's going to be so many different colors and loud sounds and music, I'm like, what about pink?

And he's like, yeah. It's fierce. It's really fierce. I bet the upkeep was... Now I see people doing pink and I'm wondering if that movie inspired them. Yeah. The upkeep was probably kind of a bitch, but it is cool. Here's what it is. You start with the blonde, you put the pink in, it gets real vibrant, and then you have to do like once a week just to shape up.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you actually, so you have a TV credit that I think is probably my ultimate dream role. A satanic cannibalistic killer.

Oh, God. Criminal mind. Hey, typecasting. If I can do it, I mean, like, that is... It is, like, I mean, to tell a priest... I think I've got it right. To be questioned by the police and then to tell a priest that you've served him human soup at a...

or something like that it's so good he gets i mean he gets like apprehended um in his underwear with like in this like small tiny dingy room with a bloody pentagram sex symbol yes i was like oh my god oh my god it's like my boner city and then like it was just so i mean i would die to play a role like that was it fun doing that

Yeah. I mean, you know, Criminal Minds is one of the coolest shows to be a part of. And it's a show that's given a lot of actors that don't normally are known for that type of role. Jason Alexander, Frankie Munoz, James Van Der Beek. And I had to go in. I mean, and I was like starring in movies and stuff, but I still had to audition and I was like more than happy to do it. And yeah.

you know, the creator was in the room. He's like, man, dude, that was really good. He's like, I'll see you on set tomorrow at 7 a.m. And I was like, I just knew it would be a different look for me, you know, and to be able to do that, it's based off of some kind of case. And it was less is more, you know, when I put those glasses on and I had that beard, I didn't have to say that much. I knew. And then it ended up being like voted like a top 10,

unsub and i was like oh man which is like what they call creeps on that show so i was happy i made a list i love it well it must be so fun for like to be able to like go completely batshit and be yourself for once you know let it all out but before we let you go i have to ask you i have to ask you i love the movie bowfinger so much and when you were standing there with i mean

all these icons were you like this movie's about to be that bitch because that movie is so funny and every time I watch it I find something new Eddie Murphy in that movie is really like two completely different people it's incredible multiple he played multiple characters he played his movie star and then he played his brother um

Yeah, I mean, that was a definite like super college. I didn't go to college. It was like a beautiful summer school college. It was like 16 weeks in the summer, all L.A.,

Icon here, Steve Martin. Icon here, Eddie Murphy. Icon to, you know, Heather Graham. Icon over here, Christine Baranski. You know, it was just different walks of life. And I was like smack dab in the middle of it. And I was just like in a candy store. And Frank, also Icon, you know, directing it. I mean, he's Miss Piggy. He's Yoda. Multiple things. And also Ron Howard and Brian Grazer produced it. So it was...

I was so lucky. And it was, yeah, every day it was like school. And it was so funny. You had to have known that it was so funny. You had to have been like, people are going to fucking die from this. It is so funny.

Yeah, it's crazy because it was like, it's I think it's like really people really love it as an underrated gem. Like it came out, it did okay. Box office wise, but people love it. But it's like, yeah, it's definitely lived on in its way. But I it was when we were doing it, I was like, it was crazy. It's amazing. Well, thank you for letting us harass you on our podcast. Where can people find you?

I appreciate this so much. You can find me on Instagram, Jamie Kennedy. I have a podcast, Hate to Break a Tee, on Spotify, iTunes, Twitter, Jamie Kennedy, all the usual spots. I appreciate it. Sorry we had so many false starts. No, it's fine. I really recommend people go to your YouTube and check out the video on Why Celebrities Go Bro. I know. I listened to it this morning. I was like, fuck.

I'm doing more like that type of stuff of behind the scenes of like what it's like because people ask me so many questions and it's like it's true it's not just drugs and alcohol there's a lot of people that get their little grind you know yeah yeah steve-o does similar uh series steve-o does kind of similar series that I really enjoy where he's just hand looking right at the camera being like this is how it happens

I love it. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. That's a, that's a wealth of knowledge, Steve-O too. So, of course he's like stapling his face to stuff, you know, you don't have to go there. Yeah.

Well, thank you so much, Jamie. It was a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much.