A Sonic Boom Personified with Drew Afualo and Trixie
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So let's talk about digestion. I feel like so much of health and wellness and like mental health has to do with food. And we always talk about what you eat, but we don't talk about what happens once you eat. Like the way your body handles what you put in it is as much a part of the discussion as what you put in it. We all got to go, right? And we all feel a lot better once we've gone to be delicate here on the pod. Okay. Sometimes you got to go.

With Symbiotic Plus from Ritual, you can go every day. It's a three-in-one clinically studied pre-, pro-, and postbiotic containing strains LGGG and BB12 that support healthy regularity. And it's very important to me that, like, especially the older I get, that

Ritual products contain high quality, clean ingredients, and they're vegan. They're GMO free. They're tested for heavy metals and common allergens. And it's just one daily pop of like, it's like a mint scented capsule. Tastes like nothing. And it just streamlines your gut support. So climb back on that porcelain throne and make us proud, baby. Feel the difference.

daily with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald. That's 25% off at ritual.com slash bald. Happy squatting. Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you, you watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself.

I have fully done things around the home that I think look good and then a bang in the night and I wake up to a shelf collapsing, a painting falling off the wall. Like it, I've seen it all go south. I own a home and I can tell you, I know how much work it can take. Whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

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Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. You have discovered the way to be heterosexual but still be gay somehow. Yeah. All my friends are gay. I have no straight friends. Do you think that that's like the final evolution of your feminism? Yeah. Is that you just ditch men altogether and you just start begrudgingly eating pussy? I just choose. Yeah. Well, it is a choice.

It sure is. Believe me, if it was, I would select the other box and get the fuck out of here. I would not be here. I'd be selling used cars. What do straight guys do for a job? What do they love? Consultant? Analyst? DJ? Oh,

Oh God. Yeah. Who would do that? That's a really specific sect of straight man, a straight man. DJ. Everything I say doesn't apply to gays or drag Queens. I was going to say, I thought you were coming for me. Cause sometimes when I watch your content, I'm like, yeah, fuck him. Fuck that white bald man. And then it's like, hello, darkness. I'm like, fuck that rich white.

the Game of Thrones song plays after totally make peace with it. Have you ever watched Game of Thrones? Of course I have. Okay. I've never seen it. Really? Yeah. And I have a three month sabbatical and I think that's going to be my project. Yeah. Get into it. Cause I think I'm going to get on the couch. Watch that and then watch House of Dragon after. House of Dragoon. Dragoon. House of Drag Race. House of Nikita Dragon. Yeah.

I think I'm going to put on the Game of Thrones. It's on HBO. Yes. I literally have a show on Max and don't have it. You're welcome. Yeah, I like how you called it HBO too. And you also have a show on Max. Hilarious. Look at me doing your job for you. What a bad Virgo. I'm going to watch Game of Thrones. I'm going to put my legs up in stirrups like I'm at the gynecologist. And I'm just going to let it happen. But I heard it's a lot of... It's sad, right? It's very sad, yeah. But it's also really cool. Incest? Yeah. So you think incest is cool? Yeah.

Well, it's in the book. I mean, it's besides the point. I want to talk about my hobbies outside of work. I know that these listeners from your voice, from your laugh, it's just it's comforting to have someone else with also a difficult laugh in the studio today. Because between you and I think we go break the sound barrier. Oh my God, I know the way when I go on podcasts, they're like, can we move the mic just like a little bit down a little bit away?

Because the way I laugh, I'm just blowing out eardrums everywhere I go. Oh, people are probably stuck in traffic right now. And their car radio and their 92 Accord is vibrating because you're like, ah! When I filmed that episode with Caleb and Brittany, some people were like, the laughing was so loud I had to turn it down. Because me and Brittany together is loud enough. You, me, and Brittany would be crazy. Too much. Yeah, and Caleb laughs like that guy from that band. I forget the name of it. What was it?

The gorillas, yeah. He cracks me up. He's so funny. It's really upsetting. That bitch is so funny. I know. Fuck him. You guys, we got Drew Afualo in the studio today. Yeah. I had the fortune of doing your very successful podcast just maybe, what, eight months ago maybe? A year ago? A year. That was... It was like season one. You were just starting. Yeah, just started season two actually. So that was actually two years ago. Wow.

I know. Time is such a construct. That's so fierce. Well, I felt so exposed because I was talking to Brittany and she was like, you know, Drew said that she tries to hang out with you and you don't do that. And I was like, that doesn't make sense. And I look at text and I'd be like, I think my text. And also, can I, can I amend that really quick? I wasn't trying to hang. You just told me to text you and I did. You're like, I wasn't trying to hang out. Hold on. I'm not that much of a loser. Okay. I wasn't double texting someone. Hey, do you want to hang and getting no response? No. I wished her a happy birthday and she didn't respond. And I was like,

Message received. No, the text was Trixie. Can I get a ride to the airport? That's how I remember it. Can you help me move on Saturday? Oh, I tell you, I'm hosting a painting party. Do you remember those? Oh, that's right. What kind of painting? Do you paint? No. I don't either. No. And when people ask me, they're like, oh, help me move and I'll buy pizza. I'm good. Baby. Honey. A moving party? Baby. College. Hey, I'm just going to like buy some pizza and beer and move. Yeah.

Oh, okay. We'll have fun with that. I'm doing anything else the day that you don't say Tuesday. Oh, Tuesday. Oh,

I'm about to move out of your life. Dream girls move right out of my life. I'm out of here. I'm out of here. I would love for you to call Los Angeles movers and have them show up and go at the, when they put you that invoice for $12,000 to move four items across the street, you can go, well, I have some little seasons in the fridge and they go perfect. We'll just call it square. Oh God. Thank God. Cause you know what? Moving things at like up seven flights of stairs and sweating in the summer.

I would love to be paid in pizza. That'd be my favorite. That's my ideal situation. Well, it's LA, so it'd be gluten-free, dairy-free pizza. Obviously. So it'd be disgusting. So it'd be nasty. And it would be $48 for one slice because it's obviously from Erewhon. Totally. Do you eat cheese? I do, but cheese doesn't like me. Oh, no. I'm lactose intolerant.

I know, but it is a dice that I do roll. That's the thing. My lactose friends, they're like, oh, I couldn't eat that. It would make me so sick. Give me some though. Only like two bites. They're like, you have two baths. You have one upstairs. Yeah, I'll have some. Yeah. I just want to make sure I can shit out there. Like I need to shit somewhere else. That's so funny. Speaking of Brittany, when she and I went to...

What was it? Coachella last year. And we got a house for all of us and our friends. I was sending her. I'm like, do you like this one? Do you like this one? We're texting and she goes, wait, wait, wait. That one, there's only two baths. And there was like nine of us. And she goes, nah, dude, we need more bathrooms. Aha.

And I was like, yeah, you need your own and I need my own. Yes. At minimum two. And each has to be designated for the two of us. Absolutely. Because we'd just be blowing it up in there. And an outhouse for when you guys really have like a cheese pizza. You know what I mean? And a hole in the wall down the street. There needs to be levels. Like at my house, we have the guest bathroom on the first floor, which is like, if you want to pee modestly, you go in here. A polite little tinkle. Yeah, you're close enough that we could yell at you from the kitchen and you'd still be peeing like, yeah, girl.

Although I do hate when people sometimes come over and they're like, can I use your bathroom? And they pee with the door open. Why would they do that? People... Who does that? People do it. Yes, they do. I was going to say, who's doing that? I have had friends, male and female. Yeah. Bofa. Bofa. Who they'll say... And I'll be like, God, they're in the bathroom. And I just feel like I can hear them clear as day. And I turn the corner and that bitch is wiping. And I'm like...

Hey, what the fuck? You know, I had a guy come to my house once that was fixing my dishwasher. Oh. And so me and my boyfriend...

My boyfriend let him in. He comes in and he's like an older gentleman. He's probably like in his fifties. Your boyfriend. Well, I mean, time is a construct again. Come on, Peeley. Ages, but a number, but he comes in and he's like, kind of like, yeah, you know, I'll, let me take a look at whatever as he's like working. My boyfriend and I go outside for a little bit. Like we go, we go into the backyard with our dog and,

And then he comes out, he goes, do you mind if I use the restroom? And we were like, yeah, yeah, there's a, there's a guest bathroom at the very front. And he's like, okay, cool. And then he goes, does that, whatever comes back, he works forever. And then he finds out we're Polynesian. So that's like a real, like it really hones in a prey drive on an old racist white guy. Cause like, he's like, I've been to Hawaii. I'm not Hawaiian. I've been to

I've been to Hawaii. I can easily, I can ease, I could talk to you about Hawaiian football for hours. So he does, he harasses my boyfriend for like 40 minutes. Then he leaves the next day. I had work and my mom and sister come to my house. My mom goes, I'm going to use the restroom. She goes to the bathroom. She goes, Hey,

there's like shit in your toilet and i was like which toilet because i don't live with neanderthals so what the fuck you mean there's poop in the toilet so i go and look there's a huge huge skitty in my guest bath is skitty poop yeah a skid mark skitty and it's black as tar and then i go neither of us have used that restroom but you know who did that man who came to my house

you're a plumber or like whatever the fuck you call it. Someone who works with pipes. I don't know what you call those things, but because I'm not a straight man, but you go and you're like, wait, I got to take a shit. I'll just wait till I get to the client's house.

So sickening. Yeah, I couldn't. There's like a Stater Brothers down the street. Like you couldn't have gone there to take your fucking shit. Starbucks or something, right? Yeah, like I don't know. I just like the thought of him only working for 10 minutes and then being like, I have to have diarrhea right now and going and doing it in my toilet and then being like, anyways, yeah, I've been to Hawaii. Was it a white guy? Yeah. And he's bald. Yeah.

Knew it. Fucking knew it. It was me. It was me. Well, it was you. Yeah. More hair than I did. Damn. You're like, there's a difference, bitch. You don't look like a goddamn Easter egg. I think balding is worse than being bald. A hundred percent. It's denial. Yeah. My boyfriend said he's like, as if it's thins, even a little shaving, the whole thing, power bald, like professor X, let it go. The beard out a hundred percent. I'm balanced it that way. I, I, I gave oral sex to a man with a super long beard once. And how was that? You know, when you're,

I don't want to... This is like so not me to be like explicit sexually, but you know when you're sucking a... Here's your mom's hair. Oh my God. Sucking, dicking, cocking balls. Some people when they're providing oral sex to a man and there's a hair in your mouth, you're like, that's a pube. It was a beard hair. That's how you know that beard is long. Yeah. If it's reaching all the way down there. I felt like one of those recalled dolls that eats the girl's hair.

Do you know what I mean? I was like, do you know about this? There was a doll in the 90s that you like fed and it would eat food and then poop it out. But it had a mechanism to actually eat the food and it would get caught in girls' long hair. So imagine you had a Cabbage Patch doll that was eating your goddamn hair and you're screaming. That's horrifying. So you're not from Hawaii. No. But you went to the University of Hawaii. Yes, I did. Where you got two degrees. I sure did, girl. And you obtained also some special certifications in, what were your two degrees? Journalism and Communications. Oh, wow.

That makes so much sense because you sure do deliver information, bitch. Yeah. I'd be telling the news girl. You know, what's funny is I was recently looking at old tech talks because someone was going and liking like my oldest take does like four years, four years ago, four score and seven years ago.

And it's crazy because when I click on them, horrified immediately. Not because of what I'm saying, but because the way I'm talking, the way I was taught in journalism is like, I have to raise my voice like two or three octaves because my professor was a bitch. But she also told me that my voice was so deep that it would be unappealing on camera. So in some of my earlier videos, I'm talking in such a high octave, like I'm a soprano. Hey!

Yeah. And it just doesn't, it doesn't sound anything like me at all because it's just so high. And I, I'm so horrified that I just immediately delete them or private them. I love a thick voice on a woman. Me too. What's her name from that 70s show? Oh yeah. The girl plays Donna. Yeah. Laura Prepon, I think is her name. Love her deep voice. Yeah. I love a deep voice on a girl and my, my register sits a little low. So I'm period.

One of my good friends went to journalism school and they listened to him talk in a heavy southern accent and they were kind of like, here's the states you should apply for work in. Because ain't nobody want to hear this shit over here. My professor told me that I should focus on being pretty because that was going to take me a lot further than trying to be a good journalist. And I was like, okay. You're like, so you think I'm pretty? You're like, what kind of journalism do I just wear nice makeup and don't talk? Yeah.

And just let that lower thing go. And just surf. Yeah. And just surf. And one of those blue screens behind you. Did you ever want to do the weather? Is that so separate? No, that's different. You have to be a meteorologist to be a weather person. But can't you just get that certification online? Like ordained like a minister? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I got one of those. You should get ordained. I should. But then I got another job they're going to try to make me do. Who's they? My team. Oh. Capitalism. Joe Biden. The patriarchy. Yeah.

Fucking Sleepy Joe is going to make me go marry someone. I just already know. I would love to see you doing the weather. I think that you would give it to people because this is the problem with the weather is they're liars. Yeah. They're liars. They're like, girl, put on your tank top because today is the day to let your hard nipples get some sun. You better believe you're going to walk outside and get hit by lightning. They are goddamn liars. It's a conspiracy. They're all under the boot. Have you...

Because you're a news educated person, I'm assuming at some point in your life you thought you might be on camera giving information to the world. Yeah. Yeah. Do you watch news and stuff? And are you Miss Simon Cowell? Are you just like, Mama, give it up? Like, do you kind of like know?

No, I think I feel like now that I do this for a living, I think now I feel that way about hosting. Like if I watch TV and host, cause it's like a completely different like sect of hosting that they choose from. Like I've hosted many times. So I feel like that's where I become Simon Cowell when I watch people on TV host. Yeah. And I'm like, I wouldn't do it that way. Me just being judgmental. I've only been doing it for a couple of years.

But things happen for you. I mean, you went from sitting on what I presume is your toilet to like being on the red carpet for like, or like for the fucking Oscars. Yeah. So you must have had to like...

all right, we're just doing this, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Like as soon as it's, it really kicked off. I mean, I think hosting the show helped a lot as far as putting me in that light of like, I can host. So like hosting my show, the comment section, I do one with my sister, two to eight girls. And then like just all my videos in general. But for the Oscars, I actually, the girl who pitched me and I got picked like the CEO of the Oscars has to approve every correspondent for the Oscars. So she told me that,

He was really interested in me because he liked my show. He liked how I talked to people on the show, but he wanted to see me in a live setting. So then she showed him my Black Adam hosting when I did the premiere for Black Adam in New York. And then he was like, OK, perfect. Tired. Wonderful. I was like, period. It's me a little girl. The change in routine impact your everyday purchases. Are you spending more of your money? I think the kids should get the money and the adults should have nothing.

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So let's talk about digestion. I feel like so much of health and wellness and like mental health has to do with food. And we always talk about what you eat, but we don't talk about what happens once you eat. Like the way your body handles what you put in it is as much a part of the discussion as what you put in it. We all got to go, right? And we all feel a lot better once we've gone to be delicate here on the pod. Okay. Sometimes you got to go.

With Symbiotic Plus from Ritual, you can go every day. It's a three-in-one clinically studied pre-, pro-, and postbiotic containing strains LGGG and BB12 that support healthy regularity. And I got to tell you, like, the older I get, so I'm not exactly 16 anymore, things like poor diet, stress...

travel, introducing medications, introducing different vitamins. I mean, so many things can throw off your gut microbiome. And let me tell you, you sure do find out about it, don't you? At Ritual, they've created a three-in-one supplement including clinically studied prebiotics, probiotic strains, LGG, and BB12, and a postbiotic to support the relief of mild and occasional bloating, gas, and diarrhea, as well as support healthy regularity.

I'm going to tell you guys, I mean, I take probiotics and I found that, you know, with my arthritis, we're constantly trying. First, we'll try this medication, then maybe a shot. And then maybe for a while I'm on a new like vitamin and all this while I'm traveling. And I'm telling you a probiotic taking the ritual symbiotic plus has really made it feel like I can switch up my medication routine. I can sometimes take.

you know, cheat on my gluten free-ism and like, I don't feel like my whole system gets rocked. You know what I mean? And it's very important to me that like, especially the older I get that ritual products contain high quality, clean ingredients and they're vegan, they're GMO free, they're tested for heavy metals and common allergens. And it's just one, like one daily pop of like, it's like a mint scented capsule tastes like nothing. And it's just like,

And it just streamlines your gut support. So climb back on that porcelain throne and make us proud, baby. Feel the difference daily with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald. That's 25% off at ritual.com slash bald. Happy squatting.

You know, I, I, I'm such a fan of yours as like a follower of your work, but I took the deep dive of actually preparing for an interview because I really care about your book. Tell the kids about your book. Thank you. Yeah. My book loud. I'm very excited about her. Um, it's loud except nothing less than the life you deserve. That's the subtitle. My scene was like, make sure you say the subtitle too. Cause I'm just going, yeah, loud. Anyways. Um,

And the viewer's like, bitch, we know you're loud. They're like, are you just talking about yourself? Oh, nice. It's also ironic that this is the first piece of media you're making where they don't have to hear your voice. And you're like, I'm still loud. Yeah. You're silently reading a written word and you're going to feel like I'm yelling. As you fucking should. It's really exciting, though. I'm very excited for it. I think people are going to love. I'm excited for it, too, because I saw that you broke it up into some different sections. Yeah. So it's like it's more so...

It goes in waves. It almost like starts from like when I was younger and then builds to where I am now. And so that was kind of like the flow that we understood. But it was... It's kind of in pieces. It's very anecdotal. It talks a lot from my life experiences and a lot of funny stories in there of me being fucking mean to men since I was young. So... Yeah. It tracks. Look at me. Do you like... Can we talk about...

Girls girl? Yeah. I love the phrase girls girl. You're a girls girl. I am a girls girl. But it's always used as, you know what? You're not a girls girl. It's always used in a denigrating sense. It's never used in a positive sense. Totally. What are the hallmarks of like not a girls girl?

Uh, I think just being a pick me, which is like, that's what they call them. The pick me girl, pick me girls. And it's like, that's literally from Meredith gray's monologue and gray's anatomy when she's talking to like McDreamy mixed team, one of the fucking ones, Derek Shepard. Yeah, exactly. It was McRib. Obviously, Dr. McRib. Imagine that would be my name if I was working at a fucking hospital. I'd be Dr. Pepper. Yeah.

We were just saying you're not gay. No. In that you have a loving relationship with Peely. Yes. Who I thought was named Phil. Yeah. But that's my manager. Different guy. It's called whitewashing. Yeah. It's erasure. Yeah. That character, if he was written into a show, they'd be like, we're going to go with Phil. Exactly. Can I just say Phil? Is that easier? Yeah. Let's just do that. And then Drew, they'd be like, it's too confusing. It's genderless. She's going to be Sally. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Actually, she's not going to be loud. She's going to be very demure. Yeah. She's going to be so humble, but more importantly, skinny, skinny and, um, beautiful gay people. Yeah. Well, yeah, obviously. Yeah. All my friends are gay. Like all of them are. I'm, I'm a token straight friend for most of my friends. It's so funny. You know, what's funny is when I'm hanging out with you, I don't feel like I'm hanging out with a straight person, which I take pleasure in. My friend Hina, who's a non-binary lesbian, they said that I'm gay adjacent.

Yeah. I run parallel to y'all. Well, you know, like when they have like a, when it's a split, let's like, it's a Taco Bell and a KFC together. That's you. Yeah. Exactly. It's authentically heterosexual, but I don't want to say the F slur, but you know what I mean? You can, it's your pod. I would take you to a gay person, but I feel weird unleashing it on a straight person. Yeah.

Hey, faggot. That feels wrong. It's all right. I take it. I take it. That feels wrong. I accept it lovingly. And just want everybody to know that I said it and she didn't. Yes, please. Okay. Please no. I guess you are so queer coded that people must... Even though you are very femme presenting, people must still earnestly ask pronouns and all that of you because they... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Especially my sexuality too. They ask me that a lot. Even when they meet me in person because I'm like...

actually a big bitch. I tell people like, I'm tall girl. I'm a big bitch and they don't believe me until they meet me in person. And this is like, I'm not kidding. A knee jerk reaction from most fans when they meet me. They're like, oh my gosh, you're like huge. Which feels like a read a little bit. I'm like, you could have picked any adjective, but you picked huge. Love that. Oh yeah. Appreciate it. When I'm in drag and I think I'm four two. Yeah. I think I'm Nicole Richie's right. And they walk up and they go, God, you're big. I go, thank you.

Yeah, what do you say? The camera's over there, bitch. Let's take a picture. Everyone in Hollywood is this big. A figurine. Like truly a porcelain doll. A poupée. Really? And I'm literally Yao Ming in every fucking room. They come in, they're like, whoa. It's like I ripped the roof off and they're like, no, please.

That's how I am in every room in Hollywood. Well, you're a tall gal too, which obviously being a tall guy, no one cares. Being a tall gal, it's the first thing they're going to say. Yeah, they're like, ooh, ooh. Like even when you see men standing next to me, like on the carpets that I've worked, like I talked to John Cena. I met John Cena for the first time. Like he and I are eye level. Love John Cena. I love him. He's great. He's so wonderful and so funny. He and I have been in two commercials together. Really? Different commercials. And we both shot separately both times.

And that's how close, but I love John Cena. Love. Your passing ships. I know. Starcross lovers. Totally. Yeah. You know who you also, I know that you're friends with Dwayne, the rock Johnson. Oh yeah. Who I also love. My, my brother in Christ. Love. Yeah. I love him. He's, and he also standing next to me doesn't look that, but he's obviously taller than me, but he next to me, they're like,

Like I literally got a comment when I hosted that black Adam live. They're like, I know you've told us that you're, you're tall and you're a big person, but like, I really didn't conceptualize it until I saw you standing next to the rock. And we were like around the same height. Like he looks normal size standing next to me. I was like, well, first of all,

Everybody's this big. So like, that's not. Yeah. Also, I am a big bitch. Yeah, I am. Okay. He looks normal. He's Dwayne the Pebble Johnson. Not a full rock. Yeah, exactly. Just a little tiny, little tiny. I'm the fucking rock in every room. No one will hit you with the truth bomb like a fan just blurting out what they think. Although my mom hit me with a rough one the other day. Did she? Yes, that bitch. I said to her.

I said to her, and I don't care what she thinks because she doesn't watch me anyway because she does not think I'm funny. So, which no one does. Well, your mom and I have that in common. You're giving mother. Yeah. It's giving mother. It's giving mother. Alexa, play Mother by Meghan Trainor. Oh my God.

Aren't you in that video? I'm in your major look. Yeah. Made you look so cool. That's me. Me not even remembering. I'm in a Jojo. Yeah, actually, that's how she and I met hanging out with more gay people. Talk about more star cross lovers. Totally. Jojo. She probably met you and you made her gay. That's how gay you are. Can you imagine? Yeah, I was her gay awakening. We're just in her 20s. We're joking. But if Dwayne ever comes out as gay, I'm going to be like, and who is he hanging out with?

It's me. Yeah. What I'm like, my like King Midas, but when I touch you, you turn gay. Totally. And the irony is I'm never gay. He's going to be Dwayne, the like quartz crystal Johnson. Dwayne the crystal Johnson. My mom said, I said, mom, you know, I said, if I ever want to get married, I said, are you okay? If I don't have a big wedding, you know, I mean, I said, you know, I'm a gay man. You didn't picture me in a white wedding dress anyway. Ha ha. And she goes, yeah. And it's not like you're young. I said, and what age were you bitch? When you got married?

Oh, you were 35 and I'm 34. Thanks a lot, ho. Yeah, looks like I got another year. Get off the floor, bitch. Let's take a break. I gotta get out of here. It's too much. There's the door, bitch. There's the fucking doorbell. Okay.

Do you like to spar with your family? You're so close with them. Yeah, absolutely. Oh my God. My, my, all my family members like literally keep me so violently humble. It's crazy. Like my brother just graduated from high school last year. Wow. When he was in high school, like literally last year. Um, again, I've never been doing better in my career just going up. Right. Right. And so my brother goes,

Oh yeah, girl in my class today, she told me, um, she was telling me about TikTok or something. And I was like, oh, my sister has a TikTok. I think she has like a following on TikTok. And she goes, really? What's your sister's name? Like, what's the username? And he goes, I don't know.

And I go, it's my first and last name. You know, the last name we share. And then he was like, well, how was I supposed to know that? Love. God, I don't fucking, you got me there. I don't fucking know. Let me hit you with this one. Three weeks ago, my aunt Gooch, love, right? My aunt's a very- Is that a name, a government name or is it a loving nickname? It's not quite on the birth certificate if that's what you're asking. Okay. But she is a, she is a, um, uh,

jet black mullet plumber lesbian. Gotcha. Well, you know, plumbers are things you don't know about because they were for straight men. Yeah. Well, naturally we lean towards gooch. Right. Okay. And she, listen, if you ever have something wrong with your toilets or sinks, that bitch is in there. I'm calling up gooch. A hundred percent. Austin plumbing, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Like I might as well give her a business plug.

I always talk about her. If you live in the Wisconsin area, she can do anything. Plumbing, heating, water, like all of it. Response to Gooch. Response to Gooch. Call her up. Hey, got a toilet on the fritz. You know, make it happen. But she said to me the other day, I said, you know, she's been tired. Drag's been a lot. And she said, you know what? You need to get your own TV show. And I said, oh, like the one that's on? You know, it's funny. I actually, boy, do I have news for you. The best part is she was on it.

She was on it. Did she think you guys were just hanging? Like, I just, I just, I just, like all drag is valid, but apparently not at the family level, but not on max. Please stream Trixie Motel on max.

I'm like, you filmed an episode with me where you helped me find the water main in my house, but I should get my own TV show. Do you mean like Young and the Red? Like, what are you talking about? She's like, why don't you put some, your fucking back into it and get a fucking show. Do you like acting? I love acting. Cause I was, I saw Bethany Frankel was on a Lifetime movie and it was this movie where she was talking to a young girl and she was like, you know, a lot of those, um, films, sometimes that's how people get into acting. Um,

Have you ever really wanted to just pivot and do scripted acting? Yeah, totally. I'm super down to do that. I've done a couple auditions. Haven't heard back. They said too tall. Yeah, they said blocked. I remember one of them, the first one I ever did was voice acting. And they asked me, well, they reached out and it was very exciting. And I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, like I would love to do it. And they were like, okay, can she sing? And I was like, no, no.

And my team asked me, can you sing? And I was like, no, I can't. I mean, I'm not tone deaf, but I can't sing. So you should make a voice note and be like, what do you think? You tell me. And then I send them a voice note, drop it. And it's, it's just the exact Christina Aguilera voice within track. You know, like that's me. And they're like, it's not, I just record it. And then I go, I send them a Spotify track and it's not even me. I'm like, just imagine, you know, it's funny. My heart will go on.

It's like, I want to dance with somebody by Whitney Houston. It's, you know, it's what he said. This is like me sidetracking again. I was having someone, someone was designing tour art for us once recently and it was like a few months ago and I had this idea. I wanted it to look like an old jaws poster. And like, I was like, okay, I want us to be water skiing in the front. And my sister and I were talking about what we wanted it to look like. And I was like, yeah, just like put us. And they were like, okay, can you send us pictures of you in a bikini? And I was like, no, first of all, perv.

Second of all, no. And I literally made this joke. I'm like, just tell him to look up a picture of Sidney Sweeney. That's about like, honestly, when I'm on the beach, they're like, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney. Oh, and I'm like, guys, please. Right. Speaking of, you know, what's my favorite Sidney Sweeney thing that's ever happened? Tell me.

When she got... She, like, posted pictures of her mom's birthday or something. She was, like, back home with her mom. And her mom and her dad and, like, her brother or something, they were all wearing MAGA hats in the pictures. And she's just, like, standing there. And then people were like, what the fuck? Like, all these people were like, hey, what the fuck is this? Like, sending it to her on Twitter and shit. And she responded and she goes, guys, it's my mom's birthday. And that was it. And she's so real for that. I was like, damn, what I would give to be able to be like, guys...

It's my mom's birthday. Whenever I do something fucked up guys. So wild. It's my mom's birthday and everybody forgot, but I didn't. So I feel like it's my job to remind everyone.

It's a bold move. I think it's hilarious. Go into, go, go into facetune. You can't control what your family members do. That's what I'll say. Exactly. Exactly. And I don't always believe in. And it's not indicative of her. Yes. Yeah. It's not indicative of her by any means, but that's the funniest response. Guys, it's my mom's birthday. Here's her address. Here's her cash app. If you don't like her hat, buy her a new one. Guys, it's my mom's birthday.

Let's all remember it's my mom's birthday. That makes me think of that vine of that guy with the smoke and he goes, Adam, I don't know why. Or the one where they share, like the guy, the lady's like filming deer and then the guy sneezes and she goes, nice Ron. And he goes, oh, I can't sneeze. And then it cuts off. Love. You know what? I mean, I don't miss mine, but it taught me that if you can't tell a story in seven seconds,

You're not a storyteller. You shouldn't be telling it. Totally. These 80 minute YouTube essays about like LuLaRoe. Girl, sit down. Get a part time job. Have you ever tried LuLaRoe leggings?

I have. How was it? And you know how I have? Because my mother-in-law, my boyfriend's mom, she used to do like HR for them or something. So she used to get a fuck ton of LuLaRoe leggings. Fierce. And they are hideous. Okay. But they are warm as fuck. Okay. Them shits are, they're thermal. Like you could wear those in the snow, bitch. In a favorable way or like I'm overheating? No.

And I mean, for me as a sweater, overheating. Yeah. But in like, if I were going into the fucking, if I was going to hike the Himalayas, like I'm putting on LuLaRoe leggings and I'm getting to work. How did she survive the 18 days lost in the Alaskan wilderness? She had one LuLaRoe leg, not even both. Not even both. And she stretched it over herself like a cocoon. Like Leonardo DiCaprio. When he dug, when he cut open that bear and slept inside it, me inside LuLaRoe leggings. God.

I'm better cut up in the bitch wearing the leggings get in there, get inside her inside the LuLaRoe leggings. Absolutely. I've outsmarted wilderness. Totally. I've outsmarted the elements. You do strike me as an air conditioning hoe. Yeah, absolutely. And when we're going on tour, we're going to be in a tour bus and it's like me, my sister, my parents, my agent, my tour manager, my hair and makeup artist, my boyfriend, there's a bunch of us. So we got a big, big bus.

But, oh, and my assistant, but my assistant and my agent are two small white woman. And so they get very cold very easily. And I said, listen up. We're a majority rules family. All of us run at 90 degrees. So the bus is going to be 65. Bring your LuLaRoe leggings and your sweaters because we're not turning that shit up. I'm a big air conditioning girl. Yeah. My concern is that you said that your family runs at 90 degrees.

The human body should be about 98. I think y'all should go down to the... Well, that's HIPAA violation, so I don't feel comfortable sharing that information with you. HIPAA violation. That's a HIPAA violation. I was like, HIPAA, who? My brain head couldn't even wrap around that. I have been on many a tour buses over the years. Yeah. And I'll tell you that for... I would love some tips for tour. Oh, you've never been on a tour bus? No. Okay. Let me... I feel like I'm imparting it on the youths. Please do. How old are you? Well, I'm way younger than you. Are you? Yeah. Way... Like so much younger. 26th?

No, I'm 28. Oh. And you're 42. Sorry, 41. Pretty much. Okay. Like pretty much. Katya's 41. I'm 34. But I know I seem a lot older. I know that. No, I knew you were in your mid-30s. I was just being mean. That's why I don't fear aging. Me either. This drag queen today, she had very public about getting some work done. I don't think I'm...

I don't know. You bleep the name. Bravo, bravo. Okay. Some drag queen got their face done. Yeah. Yeah. Breaking news. Drag queens get plastic surgery. And I was like, I've never had anything. And she was like, you will. And I said, I don't think you understand. I've looked 34 since I was 16. You don't get the levels I'm operating on. Nothing's going to happen. You don't get it. I'm not Benjamin buttoning. I'm just, as far as aging goes, I finished my Scantron early and I put on the teacher's desk like 10 minutes in. You've been done. You've been eating your snack for a while.

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Were you good at standardized tests? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I was really good in school. I bet you're a good tester. Yeah, I was really good. I took a lot of pride in being really good at school specifically. Me too. Yeah, Virgo. Look at us. Honestly, I think it's corny, but like bring back being good at school is a good thing. I think it's like cool to get good grades and care about school. I'm with you. If I have, and I know you can, I don't know. I'm not a parent.

Thank God. But I want to be really bad. Really? Yes. And if I end up with some kid who's like, fuck school, I don't know what I would do. You said I have to return it and get a new one. A hundred percent. I take it back to Target. I go, he just stopped working. I put it back within the 30 day window. Totally. And I do have my receipt and the debit card I bought it on. And they crack open the back and they go, did you drop it in water? Yeah.

No, of course I didn't. I put rice on it. Let's get back to the tour bus. For cleanliness reasons and hygiene reasons, they keep tour buses extremely cold.

Oh, okay. If anything, you will be chilly. You will not be hot. Period. They keep it cold. Thank God. Because on buses full of, you know, 12 drunk drag queens who shit themselves from a fireball regularly, they would keep it so cold because these whores don't wash themselves. When I did the group tours. Oh, God. This was the smell just absolutely palpable. The hygiene was just nowhere to be found. These...

These full grown men. That's when you realize that these girls walking around all day with acrylic nails and no eyebrows, you kind of just think of everyone as like, these are the fierce little, these are the divas. And then the tour bus two days in, you go...

Okay. So I'm Snow White and these are the seven dwarfs. And they, they're just, they don't, they don't do soap. Yeah. They do glue. They do. They do got to be sprayed hairspray and cheap perfume and that airspun powder. And that's it. And that's all you smell that and shit. You use a makeup artist. I do. But you are such a good makeup artist. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Don't you think?

I think so. Like me personally? Yeah. I think so. How'd you get good at it? I mean, just trial and error more than anything. I think my personal preference of makeup has like shifted a lot. If you're talking about this beat, I did not do this.

Oh, let me be clear. You look amazing today. Thank you. And that's because I hired someone whenever they're like, oh, can you give me makeup tutorials when I post glam pics and stuff? I'm like, sure. Um, hire someone more talented than you. That's what I did. Do you like sitting in the chair? You like the, yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know if I love like the process of getting ready. I just love that. I don't have to do it. Sure. Yeah. So like, I mean, you unfortunately have to do be your own makeup artist. Do you ever get your Trixie makeup done by anyone else? I know.

I never have. When I did Queen of the Universe, when I did season one of Queen of the Universe, all the other judges had hair and makeup teams. So when we would cut, they would all fly in. Assistants, hair, makeup, and I had nothing. So like 300 live audience members would watch me pull out my little Trixie Cosmetics compact and like...

And I felt so like humiliated because everyone was like, oh, and everyone's all getting sprayed and primped. And I was like the little engine that couldn't, you know? So then the tiny Tim outside the restaurant, very tiny, watching in so teeny, so teeny. And the next season I got to make a part is when I'm such a control freak Virgo, they would sit behind me in the mirror and just go, that's heads on even one more part over here. Cause I'm not great with symmetry.

Oh, okay. But I like being a control freak. So they're just like coaching you from the stands kind of thing? Totally. Giving me like a sports commentary. Yeah, yeah. She's coming around the eyeball. You know, like...

They're sitting with the headphones on. They're like, yep, get them on the corner. You got them on the corner. Yeah. When you're left to your own devices, what's like your go-to glam if it was just you and it's a gig? It's really, honestly, it's very simple. I think I do like a very, I'm more skin based. I love skin more. I'm not very good at eyes. I can't really do eyeshadow very well. So I'm all like a big lash and like a

really beat skin like and lots of blush that's like my vibes totally yeah i love a fake lash though lash extensions fake lash whichever i'll take all of them do you like bottoms yeah no i don't like a bottom lash unless it's like a specific look like i'm doing like a like a doll like look but i like bottom mascara for sure love that because you have you have such beautiful like

thick bottom lashes. Thank you. I don't look overdone. I have like giant eyes. So I, what I'm really happy about is my makeup artists. Like he does my hair and makeup and he's also someone and he's my cousin. So he has done, he did my prom makeup. He didn't like my homecoming Sadie's makeup, but like he, the way that he does my beat is so specific. I've worked with other makeup artists and like they were all great.

but they just don't get my face. Like my face is so round. All my features are super round. And so I feel like if they do a very specific kind of look, it doesn't work on every face shape. Right. But he has done Samoan people. He's done black people. He's done Asian people. He's done all kinds of people for years. And so he just gets my face like very well. So I don't even have to tell him unless I want to do something completely different. I just sit in the chair and he just does it.

I feel like when people like you, like fuller features, full eyes, full lips, there's more, you can do more, but so much more can go wrong. Yeah, exactly. It's like much more painfully obvious when it's not right. Right. Because I have such big, like, it's funny too, because in some of my things, when I was working with other artists, you can tell because I look completely different. There was one girl I worked with and she was great, but like, she made my eyes look so beady. Like, I don't know if she, they just looked,

incredibly small. She just punched you. Yeah. That'll do it. Yeah. When she literally carves my eye out, that's typically what happens. But yeah. Well, when people read your book loud, which comes out which day? July 30th. People, I want them to envision you in full glam at a typewriter. Like,

Up in the mountains, like I go on a writing retreat. Yeah. I go up there and I start typing. Well, you were a good student in school. Yes. So you have some writing experience. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I did really, really well in like any sort of language arts, like writing. Those were like my strong subjects. And journalism. Yeah. That's why I was like math. No, thanks. Science. I'm good. You were so prepared to do this. Yeah. It was written in the stars for me. That's my prophecy. The part about me being just...

fucking awful to horrible men. That's just a fun thing for me. Right. I just sprinkled that on top. There's parts about your life that you're including. I mean, you always talk about the world around you as it's existing. You comment on like, this just happened. This just happened. But there's like a whole part of how your life up until we saw you sitting on your phone screaming at people. Yeah, exactly. It's all the stuff you missed. And I'm so excited to hear about that. Like what's in it? It's, it's, uh, I feel like

When I was writing it or we were first like getting ready to write it, my team asked me, like, give me like 10 to 15 subjects that you feel like you could write a lot about or want to expand on further. And so I did all that and then we winded like winded it down to the chapters themselves and then we reorganized them. And then they would give me the topic and be like, give me like 3000 words on this or give me 1500 words on this.

And so I would just write it, send it, edit back and forth. And so it's all, it's basically centering around de-centering men entirely and finding confidence, like love, strength, courage, whatever it is you're looking for outside the confines of male validation. So no longer, not needing them in any capacity, whether it's how you feel about how you look or how you feel about what you do for a living and everything in between.

So it's like, and then I, it's very anecdotal. So I pull a lot from stories that have, of things that have happened to me or happened around me that have shaped me and molded me into who I am today. Cause I feel like that's the most commonly asked question is like, they just really want to know how I got this way.

So like, what's the tea on you, girl? What's wrong with you? So did every man in your life just line up and slap you one day? Yeah. Honestly, that is like one of the most they're like, did something just like horrible happen to you? And then you just decided that you hated men. I'm like, no. But also, have you ever hung out with a straight man? Like you'd hate them, too. You don't hate any?

I find that hard to believe. Well, I feel like it's also a little reductive and cop out that people consume your material and what they get out of it is that you hate all men. I think that all the time. That's not what you're saying. And even if I was, what are you going to do about it?

Okay. Well, that is what I was saying. And it's not, it hasn't been. People think that because you're like, and so what if I do? Yeah. And that's how I feel like I, I, even when women do tell me that I'm like, period, you probably have a good reason for feeling that way. I don't blame you. Well, I think one of the reasons I'm sure a lot of people listen to this podcast is bald and beautiful, which today we do have the bald and the beautiful here. Period. Finally. I was like the bald and the beautiful. Yeah, totally. No, that's just me and Brittany. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. Um,

I, she's another great makeup artist.

I she's crazy good like she's really good and it's annoying added to the list of reasons why she's so talented and annoying she have you ever heard her sing yes of course she's done karaoke at like with me and my family at my sister's 30th birthday I literally got a karaoke machine so we could do it at home and then we were like she was singing with my cousin who's also gay and he is a fantastic singer so the two of them were doing duets all night I went to bed I was

I was pissed off. Hey, goodbye. This is supposed to be fun. Go be talented somewhere else. Give it up, Carrie Underwood. Yeah, I'm like, hey, it's not your fucking birthday. No kidding. You ruined my birthday. Totally. You're like, I hate men and you. Now add Brittany Roski to the fucking list. Totally.

Oh my gosh. I remember you saying, oh, give me a second. What was I just talking about? They're so enthralled by us. No, I just, I have whatever kind of brain rot that I just like, it's like a ping pong ball around the room and then I remember what I just said. That's okay. I have that too. Oh, you have a French bulldog. I do. I have two. Whoa. Yeah, I have two. I think your Wikipedia says you have one. Oh, that's true.

Hello, get on it. Update it. No, I just recently adopted the second one in December. So what's the name of it? My first one, his name is Squid and my second one's name is Tuna. So and Tuna is completely deaf. So we fostered him for like a few weeks and then we were like, yeah, yeah.

We're going to take this one, which is greater. It's worked better that way because we, when we were fostering him, um, the old owner had told us that if he tried to take him to a shelter, they would put him down because Frenchies are super expensive, obviously dogs to take care of. And then he's also deaf. So they were like, they would have put him down. And so it honestly worked out because squid is so, um,

for lack of a better word, annoying that I needed a dog that was missing a sense so that he could like socialize better. And now they're both really calm and gray. They're besties now.

I think that's beautiful. Yeah, I got two little hogs. I have two little Lincoln logs that live in my house. They will die without me immediately. Like they can't even be outside for very long. Are they going on tour? No, absolutely not. That would stress me out. People do bring dogs on tour. If I start making the kind of money where I can fly like an asshole and fly private and shit, then maybe I'll start bringing just squid. But I think tuna would be overstimulated. The dogs will be flying and you'll be on the bus. I know.

exactly and i would do that i'm not even kidding i'm not even kidding i would do that and i know like meg the stallion has frenchies and i know she takes one of them i think she has like four but she takes one around with her that's like her first one and so if i start making fuck you money like that then maybe they'll start coming with me places do you know who jan crouch is i don't think so jan crouch was a televangelist from like the maybe 90s okay purple hair lilac hair and she

And she was a televangelist? Televangelist. Interesting. She had a very famous iconic story about, I had a chicken that died and I prayed on it and he came back to life. She like told a story about she prayed. She's so me. Wild, right? She's so me. But she used to use the church money to fly her dogs private. And like...

Honestly, go off. That's shocking. I did not know churches do fucked up things like that. I know. That's shocking. To be honest, flying dogs private is one of the least fucked up things that a church could do. That they were doing? Yes. Breaking news, believe it or not. Yeah.

Yeah, I got two little Frenchies, but I love them dearly. I started sobbing the other night, like not even kidding, like a week or two ago, just looking at my dog squid because he was just looking into my eyes so sincerely. And I was like, if you die, I'm dying too. Let me know when you go out, girl. Give me a five second warning. Give me a two week notice. Let me put my lashes on before they find my body. I can't be found bald.

I, then they won't find me beautiful. So, I mean, no lashes is your version of bald. Yes, absolutely. It is. Absolutely. It is that in my pussy. Oh,

Oh my God. Oh crap. So I am so jealous of some of the people that you have gotten to work with. Oh my gosh. You interviewed Jamie Lee Curtis. I sure did, girl. Dude. The icon, the living legend. She is so fucking cool. Taller than you'd expect too. She looks like a tall bitch. Yeah, she's taller than you'd expect. She is.

Though she fascinates me because the way that she listens is so intense that I thought she thought I was the stupidest bitch alive. Because when I was talking to her, she was going...

The whole time not moving. So you thought she was like, uh-huh. And she's just listening very intently. And then after I finished, she was taking a minute to answer. And I, because I'm a fucking yapper at heart, I like feel the, I feel the intense desire to fill the silence with, with talking. So I started trying to, you know, cause like I'm like over explaining and she goes, no, I understand.

Hey, shut the fuck up. Got it. Message received. She's like, keep going with your little fucking story. She goes, maybe if you shut the fuck up, then I can answer your question. And then after, after she took like a couple of seconds and she was like, that's actually a great question. And then she answered it. I was like, yeah,

I thought for sure I was staring down the barrel of the end of my career. I didn't want to offend Jamie Lee Curtis. No kidding. Yeah. What a thrilling person. Yeah. She was so nice. And so, and she was so open. Like she was like, yeah, TikTok. I know about TikTok. Because of course that's how I'm pitched. They're like, do you want to talk to this dickhead on TikTok? Are you interested in that? I know. When people, when like just today I was like, oh, I'm doing a pod with my friend Drew. And they're like, who? And I said, it's hard to not describe you this way. You know that girl? Yeah.

Yeah, I get that a lot. That girl who yells at guys on TikTok. It's like the girl that's mean to men and has the laugh. That's like those two are my identifiers. That's exactly what I said. That's my kombucha girl with Brittany. Like Brittany's kombucha girl. Like that's mine. It's like the girl with the laugh who's mean to men on TikTok. That's mine. Yeah, the kombucha girl. Yeah, like when I had Sasha Colby on my show, I was telling her because like we're AAPIs and I was telling her,

I was like, when they can't have you, they're like, what's that bitch's name? She's on TikTok. What's that bitch's name? I think she's a PI. Get her. If they can't get Sasha Colby, they'll ask for me. Right. They just alternate the two of us. I was like, you and I, I was telling Sasha, I was like, you and I should be like The Rock and Jason Momoa. Just alternate us. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You, The Rock, Jason Momoa, and her are like some kind of fucked up Powerpuff Girls. You guys crime together. Yeah. They should be the Powerpuff Girls. I'll be the professor. The one that cooks them up.

Well, you know, you actually, I mean, we, I feel like your content gets celebrated by people. Some want people because they're like, Oh my God, I never heard about this till you said it. Yeah. So many rando, uh, rando white people. I learned shit from you that I don't know about. Yeah. Like your tattoo. Oh,

Yeah. Absolutely. I would have never known that if I didn't like that's right on the front of your book. You can see it all down there. Yeah. Your hair, you look so good on the front of your book. Thank you. Adam did my hair and makeup and actually took that picture in my kitchen, in my, in my house. DIY home. Yeah. Yeah.

literally where he's like a we're a one-stop shop so he was like shooting it um on a camera of me and we had like two i had like a box fan and like one little shitty oscillating fan and that's what was blowing the hair and everything yeah you have just a few extra pieces of hair in that

Just a few. It is bundled. Yeah, I'm bundled. I got bundles all up and down my neck, bitch. Do you like Pixar films? Yeah, I love Pixar. Have you seen the film Tangled? Of course I have. She has a lot of hair. Yeah, she does. She does. She's very mean. You know what's funny is Tangled is how it feels once you build a platform. I feel like I can't go anywhere. Yeah. Without very real fear following me. I'll tell you where we can go. Ooh, okay. We can go to Cabela's.

We could go to Dick's Sporting Goods. Oh, yeah. Actually, men hate you. Or Stagecoach. I performed there. Oh, yeah. You can't go. I can't go. I forgot you're white. Brittany can't go either. No, of course she fucking can't. That's the places we can't go. Where else could we go? When me and Brittany go anywhere, when we went to Coachella last year, we would have, we, this makes me sound like a dick, but we had artist bands and then we had to walk into VIP to get some stuff and she was like,

She wore a bandana and then I didn't, but I wore, I wore a wig. Like I wore like a 26 inch, like platinum blonde wig and, and like sunglasses and everything. That's your don't look at me. Look, that's my, it's not me. Look, that's my, it's not me, but it doesn't matter because my fucking boyfriend is a lighthouse. So it doesn't matter. Like he's so much bigger than he brings all the bitches to me immediately.

so when we were walking, she goes, you need to put a fucking mask on because when the two of us are together, it's even worse. That's like me and Katya. People be like, I think that's now I know it's like Brittany and I have gone to like Dave and Buster's and I'm like, one of us can play a game at any given time. One has to go hide in the bathroom and the other one gets to play. That's so true about, about there was one moment where, cause we didn't know this at the time that you could like,

again, a dick in the artist area. They have little carts that can take you places. We didn't know that. Yeah. Cause that was our first time going artists. So yeah,

when we were trying to go see another band they're on like the other side of the grounds and then this worker was like oh you could if you just walk through ga it'll be faster and we were like okay the stupidest thing we could have ever done the way that we walked in it i felt like john snow and that like you won't know this reference but maybe the room will if they have game of thrones there's a episode called battle the bastards where he's fighting like a million men at once and then he's being suffocated under a pile of bodies that's how it felt

The two of us walking together. It was a nightmare. We never should have been dead. Yes. The scene where Glenn, when Glenn dies. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We think he dies. I think. I don't know. Okay. Anyway, he's like under a dumpster and they're all going around. Is walking dead straight culture? I think so. Oh shit. In a lot of ways it is, but you're white. So that makes sense that you, white people love the walking dead. That's okay. You get that pass. It's okay. I think I should leave.

Well, I'm quarter Native American, so I only three quarters like it. Okay, there you go. Indigenous. Love that. Indigenous. Look at you, girl. Can I tell you a story that I told Katya that literally she was so excited to hear? Did she do the comment section? Yeah, she did. Oh, you don't even know her. You really just have anybody. Well, she was hanging around by the dumpster. I thought, you want to be on the show? She's outside, like, taking out those cigarette butts and just smoking the end of it. I saw her digging in the dumpster and I said, do you need a ride or a warm meal? If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside.

If you can't walk on the hot pavement, neither can they. Maybe that's the walking dead. Well, you've done VidCon, right? Yeah. You've done conventions where sometimes it's a huge multifunction room and there's Q&A. Yes. Sometimes these Q&As, there's people with real questions. People are like, how do you think drag has changed or whatever? Cool stuff to talk about. Or like funny joke questions. And then someone will go,

And they'll tell a long personal story and you go, okay, but we're looking for a question. Are you just letting me know or? Okay. I got to tell you what happened. I know I got to let you go. No, no, you're fine. Don't worry about it. I just love talking to you. Please do. I think you're great. Thank you. Most people do. You're so pretty and so smart and funny. Oh my God. And I feel like your best kept secret is that you're such a sweet person. That actually is true. You know? Most people think I'm a fucking cunt, which I am sometimes. Sometimes. But I can be nice too. Sometimes.

I have the opposite. Everybody thinks I'm really nice. And in real life, they're like, why are you just sitting quietly? I'm like, I was asleep. I don't know. But

I was at a function in Milwaukee last week visiting my family and I was sitting there with my friend and my friend and I were sitting this close like having an intimate conversation. The type of conversation that maybe, you know, you would interrupt. Yeah. Well, you can read the room that you guys are talking. You'd think. This woman was still, she was sounding it out as far as reading the room. She was sounding out the letters still trying to put it together. Yeah.

Which is fine. And she's just in Wisconsin, right? So the accent, she goes, hey, can I ask y'all a question? And I was like, sure. She was like, do y'all have a cigarette? And I was like, no. And then she was like, I'm not even supposed to be smoking. My stepdaughter, she doesn't smoke either. And she's not gay, but I asked her. I asked her if maybe she was a little gay. At first I said, do you have a boyfriend? She said no.

Then I said, do you have a girlfriend? And she said, no, but she was a little weird about it. So now lately we've been having cigarettes together while she, while we're on FaceTime. She goes to the university of Madison. I'm so glad you shared that with me. I was like, do you need something for me? I felt like she ripped off my clothes and forced herself on me. It was so crazy. You're like, Hey,

What are you talking about? And then later on the same night, I was with my friend and this guy at the bar taps on... You know that thing where you're staying at a bar with your card so that they... Yeah. Which feels rude, but I know it helps the bartenders know who's ready. Yeah, go faster, yeah. And it always feels rude to be like, buddy, but this guy taps me and we turn and he goes, I was this close to fighting the Germans in the war. And I was like...

What are you people drinking? Is everyone okay? Is everyone okay? And also I'm looking at him. I know he's like, it's gotta be about 80. I'm doing the math in my head. You fought the Germans in the

I don't think you did. Hey, I don't believe you. I don't quite believe that that occurred. I don't believe you. Not even a little bit. Can I ask one more question about your book? Please do. So Kati and I wrote a couple of books. Yes. I actually have one of your books. Oh, hey. The first one you guys came out with, I have. My sister actually got it for me for my birthday, like before I even had a TikTok.

Kati and I having a guide to modern womanhood feels slightly less helpful than your book, which is actually about helping women. So if you're looking for satire, maybe try our book. But if you're looking for actual inspired stories about living your life, check out Loud. Period. They're deceptively hard to write. They are. What was hard for you about writing a book?

Um, I think for my book in particular, the hardest part was like being vulnerable because there are certain stories, like there are a couple of stories in the book that I've never talked about publicly and, um,

When I first wrote them, I felt like I was giving a very like PR canned version of it. And one of my editors was like, Hey, I think, I think you could push a little more. I think you can open up a little bit more. Just give me, give me more details. Like it's okay to open up a little, you might be surprised on how it comes out. So he was like, we can always go like wind it down if it's a little too much. If it's a little, you don't talk about anything you don't want to, but I feel like you could give me just a little bit more.

And so I was like, okay, like those two stories, honestly, I wrote about multiple times because I was struggling to be more vulnerable. But I've talked about how the book I feel like is very therapeutic in a lot of ways. And those two particular stories were very, very like helpful for me to be honest and more open about it. And so I think I struck the right chord, but that was definitely the hardest part, I think. Other than the title, shockingly, the title was the hardest part to nail down. And it took the longest, I mean, other than the actual writing, but...

which is shocking because my original pitch was, it's actually the chapter. It's actually the name of a chapter in my book, but I wanted it to be the title of my book. And it was, I'd rather die alone. That's what I wanted to title it. They said it was a little too, they said it was a little too negative. And like, I, I wrote, I wrote so hard. He picks up your book and goes, okay, I'll just take the dogs and get out of here. Okay. Wow. I'm like, well,

Your sister jumps off the tour bus. They're like, bye bitch. Everyone's like, fine bitch. That was another reason why when we talked through it, we were like, I don't think this is as encompassing as we would like it to be. But I was thinking in the same vein as like Jeanette McCurdy's book, where she's like, I'm glad my mom died. It's like, that's not necessarily true, but it's like,

it's bitey and it's also applicable to what she's talking about. So that was my understanding of a title. But thankfully we picked a better title I think and now that gets to live as a chapter title which is better for me. But I think it worked out for the best. But the title was pretty difficult to come up with. I'm just proud I came up with it. I like an inflammatory title and Loud still kind of probes. Absolutely. It would have been crazy to be like my eyes are up here. The duo follow story. It's like what? Or like

You know, I like the idea of like a catchy title. Yeah, I do get that. That was a little dark. Yeah, that's what they told me. I was like, especially with after having written the whole thing and the manuscript and everything, even my editor was like, I think that this title works in better context after you read it. Like after you read it, you're like, oh, that makes sense because it's like satirical and it's very nature. And he's like, but that's not like what you want a title to be. And I was like, all right, I guess I'll trust you, man, who works in publishing for 20 years.

Guess I'll trust you. I'm excited to read it and I think other people are going to be excited to read it because I think people on the internet, they look at you and they look at the way you like process the world, deflect the right things, embrace the right things. Yeah. You're like, you know, and you see through the bullshit and you just seem so strong. Thank you. And I feel like people are going to want to know in that section how you got there. Yeah. That's I think the biggest like

the biggest thing that people are dying to understand is how I got to this point. That's why they'll ask me questions like, did like just a million men fuck you over and that's why you're like this? No, no, no, not quite. But I did. I have had many a bad experience with men, but that's just because I'm a human living in the world. Unfortunately, that experience is not exclusive to me. Believe it or not, many people have had poor experiences. I'm going to tell you this. Men are dogs and liars.

And that's on period. Men are dogs and liars. They surely are. Check out Drew's book, Men are Dogs and Liars. My eyes are up here. As if they don't know where to find you. Can you tell the kids where to find you on the internet? Oh my gosh, yes. You can find me at Drew Off Wallow on literally everything. And then if you're interested about my book, you can go to drew-offwallow.com and all the info's there. But that's in my bio too, so just go follow me.

We are so lucky to be alive at the same time as you. And I'm so happy for you. Thank you. I feel the same way about you. Well, by you, I mean Katya, but also kind of you. I know. I know. We all feel the same way. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Thank you.

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