A Dainty 6'2" with Bob the Drag Queen
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I voted for Trump. And you're like, my cousins won't stop texting me. Like, mom, stop. Just a random, I voted for Trump. And then like a hang up, I didn't. Don't do it, girl. Don't do it, girl. It's so good. So what happened was during me and Monet did live coverage of the election night. And someone called me in the middle of it.

Someone called me in the middle of it and I heard my voice through their phone. And I was like, oh my God, is someone watching us? And they just hung up.

Oh my God. I was like, these fans really out here doing too much. How did they get your note? They were in drag. Bob and Monet were in drag the night of the election, like doing, watching the news and reporting at live women on the scene. It was actually really fun. And it was actually very informative because you guys were saying shit like, okay, this is what the news is saying, which really means this. It also was the only way that we could actually, I don't know. I felt like we should, it was going to be a crazy night. My,

My first thought was how upset I'd be if I was in full drag when I got the news that Trump was reelected. And I remember it brought me back to my friend. I don't know if it's at the beginning, but a friend of mine, I went to a, a, um, I went to a drag show the night. Good idea. I'm going to do that. You can just hold on. You can just snatch that out. It's like I'm at a comedy show. Do you want to unplug it and plug it back in? You're so smart.

Some people like it and some people don't like it. She needs to clutch it. I like to clutch. Yeah. I like to move. Well, that's how I do it at a show. You can push it. There you go. But yeah, the night of the election four years ago, I was at the Liberty Hotel at like a, oh, it's like an election night party. And there was this drag queen dressed as Hillary Clinton named Heidi Ho. And she was like, I'm about to get all these Hillary Clinton gigs. I'm going to be popping. There was like a couple of drag kings and like people dressed as Trump and

And then throughout the night, as it became more and more clear that Trump was going to win, like the Trump supporters just kind of started disappearing. Like you couldn't see them anymore. And then like my friend Heidi, who was hired to be Hillary, was getting drunker. Oh, God. So then Hillary was like, ah. We started crying. It was in New York City was so, it was dead silent, which is weird because Trump and Hillary were both in New York City. Girl. On the night of the election, they were both there.

Not this time. Miss Trump was golfing. Well, she doesn't want to. It must be insane. Like his the town, his hometown, New York City is like, don't come here. First of all, it's fierce. Don't come here. And then only that. But like the town he lives in now, D.C. Do you see D.C. was like 98 percent blue. It's so he always is. Yeah. But also I'm like all of your neighbors are like, boo. Yeah. You fucking suck. Boo. Oh.

Imagine all of your Well you don't have to imagine But imagine I pointed at Trixie Those of you listening All of your neighbors Being like Boo Yeah

Yeah. It's pretty intense. I mean, what is this play? Florida? Yeah. It's like, you know. We should mention, this is the bald and the beautiful. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, please, I kind of forgot that we were rolling. Our guest is somebody who embodies both truly bald, truly beautiful, one of the most famous drag queens in the world, the nicest, funniest, sweetest person I've ever met. Oh, that's so sweet. I just love you. It's Bob the Drag Queen, folks. Bob the Drag Queen. Oh, my God.

Oh my God. Bald, beautiful, and black. Bald, beautiful, truly talented, nicest people. Kim Chi. Welcome to the stage. She's not people. But also all the drag queens are slowly becoming the bald. Yeah. I thought you were going to say slowly becoming nice. I was like, no. A lot of us are, I mean, there's those of us who are like bald,

because we're just like we're losing the fight we want to go down with some grace and some dignity and then there's those of us who are just like clinging through everything like surgery but I love you yeah go I love Derek it's a fork but Derek said on my season Derek said oh I'm getting that surgery and I was like I mean go off but I mean like for me I'm like I'm just gonna let it go I'm gonna let go of the ghost let go of the beast give up the ghost give up the ghost that's what I'm trying to say Bob's like I'm gonna get that

goat i'm gonna get that beast yeah i'm gonna shave that goat i'm gonna eat that beast i mean i can't i think i was 24 and i started going i started shaving every summer and then i was like we wear wigs i'm losing the hair who fucking cares and you can be bald like you as a man you can be bald it's totally fine but also even ladies who are bald are like killing it non-binary if you're bald and you're wrong i'm like girl go off go off i i

I started shaving my head when I was 28 or 29. I was like, I'm done. But you used to, I remember you showed me pictures. You used to have long hair. I used to have dreadlocks. How long? How long? Like to here, like long, long dreadlocks. You hear that folks? To here. Yeah, to here. Just to pay the butcher for you. Now where was it? How long were they? Just to here. Yeah, right about to there. Just so you guys know, I was right in my nose. No, to my shoulder. I used to have shoulder length dreadlocks when I was like a teen. Then I cut them off and I was like right before my 21st birthday, I cut off my dreadlocks.

Then I had like a mohawk and I had cornrows and I had an afro. So you did it all while you had it. I did a lot of hairstyles over the years. Did you dye your hair? I bleached the tips of my hair, of my dreadlocks, and then I tried to dye them purple, but they just ended up going black again. Black, black, black again. Once you go black, you really can go back. I did it. My hair did it of its own volition.

But don't you think bald is so much more It's so easy It's so easy It is easier yeah And one of my boyfriends is a barber And he just cuts my hair for me I just sit and he has like a barber's job Barber's chair in his home And I just sit in his chair And he just cuts my hair And it feels so nice I'm just like

He lives in a salon. He's been telling you that's his home. Y'all ever make love in the chair? No, no, no. We've made out in the chair, but never made love in the chair. I think we should touch on it. I want to talk all about your boyfriend. You want to touch on my boyfriend? Yeah. You want to touch on my boyfriend? Yeah. I haven't met the other one. Jacob's very cute. Jacob is. Jacob is adorable. Jacob's super cute, tiny, cute.

He films your videos for your channel. Jacob does all my photographs for my Instagram. Jacob does almost all of my YouTube videos. Some of my videos, if you ever see me on the show having a discussion with another person, Mitch Farino does those. But if you ever see a video of me in my own space doing my makeup and stuff like that, the infamous Silky Nutmeg Ganache video, Jacob edited. All those jokes of editing jokes are all Jacob's ideas. He's very, very talented. And then my other partner's name, his name is Ezra.

Ezra. And Ezra's a musician and a barber living in the Hollywood area. Cool. I have like a million questions already. Yeah, ask away. I just feel like everybody listens to this knows so much about your career. And so talking about your personal life is more fun. Honestly, my career stuff is so like, you ever talk about career stuff and you're like, is this interesting to hear again? When it's career stuff, you're like, don't y'all been done been new? Yeah. That like,

you know, yeah. If you're Trixie, like, yeah, I write music. Yeah. I play the harpsichord or the right. And,

I'll play them all I'd rather hear like You guys may not know this but Kata you speaks French Now can you say a little something in The Queen's English Also I remember watching Of course you're watching Canada's Drag Race And when she was like I am the first francophone I will be the first francophone To win RuPaul's Drag Race I'm like did you watch season one

Oh, yeah. Can I just say the first literally the very first winner of RuPaul's Drag Race is fluent in French. The national language, the national language of Cameroon is fluent.

French. Yeah. It was like, you're not, not the erasure of BB's harmony. It was her being like, I will be the first. You're not even, I hope they all cut. And she was like, did that seem French? No. Okay. By the way, I have to say this. I recapped that show for pit, which by the way, you were so good on pit stop. And I think you were doing, we're here for some reason. You,

didn't do Canada's Drag Race I was so happy to inherit the job back because I honestly if I hadn't had been watching it I might not have seen it I didn't get Rita Bega no the name oh I Rutabaga Rutabaga I never got it I still don't get it like a Rutabaga but it's Rita Bega

But I know, you know, like Bob the Drag Queen makes perfect sense. But that's not a pun that like, it doesn't, it doesn't, you know what I mean? Like Rutabaga. I said it a million times. The other day I went, oh my God, it's Rutabaga. And then she like, that's how someone was without, there was a drag queen in New York City that every queen would like randomly remember her name. She's not like a teacher or something. Her name was Amanda. You know, Jerry Pie? No, no.

What a monster. Nope. Oh, my God. Her name was Amanda Poupon. And folks would be like, they would know her for years. And sinners would be like, give it up for Amanda Poupon. Oh, my God.

- Oh my God, Amanda Poupon. - See that's a great aha moment. - That's fun. - Yeah, that is fun. - A read a big, a root a big. - I just didn't get it. How many times did I say this on camera and never, hello? - Yeah, yeah. - McFly, thank McFly, but Lisa Newcar. That is the ultimate sleeper hit. Lisa Newcar. - Lisa Newcar is great. - Three years into knowing her. - Yeah. - They realized it was a pun. - You know what, there's a queen in Philly named Amy Vodka House.

It is not a pun, but one day I was like, oh my God, it's like Amy Winehouse, but instead of wine, it's vodka. Oh, that's kind of dumb. I like that. Kind of dumb. But I was like, oh, there's the thing. We veered off from the boyfriend talk. So you have a very, well, I'm not going to say unusual, but interesting, distinct relationship with two men. Two men, folks. Yeah, so Ezra and Jacob are my partners. They're not dating. It's not like Derek Barry.

Do they like each other? Yeah, they just met like two weeks ago. They're not bitter rivals? No. Are they each other's type in any way? Is there any attraction at all? I mean, I look like me and they look kind of similar except one is Jewish and one is Mexican. Okay. Okay.

So are, um, so you're saying Jewish people and Mexican people look the same. No, you know, someone who looks like the Mexican version of, they don't, by the way, they don't look like the versions of each other, but they are both, uh, smaller. They're both slim. They both have dark hair. Um,

They're both really pretty. And I'm kind of like someone's uncle. And they both love attractive, powerful, hilarious men. Yeah. They do. And what? And what about it, Haney? 6'3"? 6'2". 6'2". But a dainty 6'2". I make it look like 6 feet. Now, I was having this conversation with my boyfriend the other day, and I was like, I don't know if we ever were in a three thruple. That's a good one.

That's what they call it, right? Yeah, I hate that word. I don't know how you would come into it. And I'm assuming for you, you weren't looking for it. It just kind of presented itself. Yeah, and again, it's not a throuple because they're not dating. I just have two boyfriends. Two boyfriends? Yeah. This is polygamy, not...

Polyamory Polygamy has a nasty bite to it Polygamy is Mormon Are you Mormon? I think polygamy is specifically with marrying I think, I'm not an expert But we don't live on the compound Not yet They

I met Jacob at the end of 2017 in San Francisco when I was at a gig. And then I moved to the Bay Area for a play. Was there for six months. Jacob and I started dating. Angels in America, Tony Kirshner. Yes, yes, yes. That's fierce. And then I met Ezra on Instagram. I just saw him on Instagram. I thought he was hot. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, what's good? Miley, what's good? What?

And then what is your, do you, uh, what did you say? Like, what would be your Instagram opening? Um, like, well, it was a picture of him. ASL age, sex location. It was a, it was a video of him jumping on a couch. He had this, he had just found this couch like outside. He was like, I found this couch, which by the way, a New Yorker would never grab a couch on the street. Cause we would get bed bugs. Yeah. Um,

And anyway, it was him jumping on this couch, but he was in a jockstrap. Oh. And it looked really hot. I said, oh, this is my new obsession. I'm trying to be that couch. Yeah, what I said was, this is my new obsession. And then that was my opening line. You said, I got the bed bugs, you got the couch. Let's make it happen. Remember when you said that in New York people are more, I think it was in your Caroline special, people are more afraid of...

Bed bugs and ISIS I said something about people will walk down the street Oh people will like You will walk down the street and there will be a big pack of black thugs Walking at you and you'll be like move it's my neighborhood too But they'll cross the street if there's a couch If there's a couch Couches scare people in New York City Terrifying Absolutely terrifying I've had friends who had really horrible things happen to them They were like having bed bugs was the worst thing

There was a string of drag queens in Chicago who had it and it was passing from partner to partner. And then queens were having to like, you know, put their dry, their good gowns in the dryer, trying to kill the bugs. Dryer.

Bonfire. I would torch everything. A dryer will kill the bugs. A dryer will kill them. I don't believe it. So one of the ways they treat your house for bed bugs, your apartment for bed bugs, they just seal off every vent, every window, every crack, and they heat your house up to like 115 degrees for about an hour, and then it just kills everything. Oh, it's just like a hot yoga class. I mean, kids too. You leave the kids in there. And then you get in bed with the dead bugs. Well, they're, oh, I don't know. Dead bugs. They're dark.

They're dark-sided. You know, they're about as thin as a sheet of paper and they can live for up to a year without feeding. You just described the crackhead drag queen. That's your Tinder bio, girl. Totally. I haven't fed in 12 months. But you're on Tinder because there's time to feed again. Yeah.

Three month window Gotta make it work So you met Ezra You vibed And then were you like Jacob What if I like this guy Well when I first met Jacob I said I Jacob's my first boyfriend I forgot to tell you that Jacob's the first boyfriend I ever had Really Yeah I don't have any exes

Interesting As of the date this airs As of the day we recorded this And you know When I met Chick I was like I don't really I haven't really ever dated before I feel like I might be polyamorous I'm just saying that now At the beginning of our dating Just so you know I'm saying this out loud We'll see what's good

And then the day came and I was like, I'm sure of it now. And I'm seeing this guy named Ezra and I want you to know. And then I was like, well, then I said, well, now I asked Ezra to be my partner and that's what's up. And what did Jacob say? Jacob was like, okay. Yeah.

Really? And we had a moment where we were trying to like figure it out. He was like, I'm adjusting to this and how I feel about this. But ultimately, because I was being upfront, I was never being shady or sneaky or sly. I wanted to be upfront about how I felt the whole time with both of them. And I was like, this is where I'm at. So I just want you to know that this is what I'm doing. And, and,

Honestly, in relationships, you can never fight if you always talk. And especially if you just keep, I will, if me and someone are, not just my partner, this is also with Monet, this is with anyone I've had a disagreement with, I will talk until I'm like, we will figure this out. Like, there's no way we can't figure this out. We'll just keep talking and talking. And then after a while, you're like, oh my God, now I see where you're coming from.

And now we can move. Unless it's you and Monet and you really never agree. And then the next episode happens and it gets brought up again.

I love listening. Sybil is my favorite drag podcast. It's so funny because it is so obvious. You guys are best friends and oh my God, do you love to disagree with each other? Is that even, it's just, it's just, she likes to, honestly, I'm, I'm, I am very team Bob. I think she likes to fuck with you more than you fuck. She will argue stuff that she knows is wrong. She's just saying it. She doesn't have a good grasp on like how to get that. Like, no, here's the fact here's why. And she'll just be like,

I just feel like I can't even. I literally can't even. And it drives me crazy, but that's my good Judy. And I really do love... I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. We talked about this podcast on our podcast recently. We're not siblings. It would be just straight rivalry. Yeah, rivalry. Yeah, just fighting. How long have you known her for? I met Monet probably... Oh, my God. Maybe...

2013 2012 maybe I feel like right when she got out of college She moved to New York City And was like a baby queen at the bar And I was like the sophomore class Like I had just gotten done being a baby queen I had a few gigs I was working at a couple bars And we used to both go to this one show Called Saliva Tuesdays at the Ritz Hosted by Thorgy Drag shows?

Disgusting. The names of drag shows, we talked about this, are just fucking crazy. Yeah, Saliva. And a lot of times they get passed down and you inherit a show with a name you don't even understand. Saliva Tuesdays was the one. So I was doing Saliva Tuesdays and we would both go there, we would both compete sometimes and Thorgy was hosting and

And one day Monet needed my help for a show called So You Think You Can Drag. She needed an outfit made and she didn't know how to make it. So I sold her an Ariel dress, a gown with a tearaway skirt that could turn into a mini dress and

And over the bonding process, I used to do this thing where, like, I was so excited. I wasn't good enough at sewing to, like, charge people. But I was like, if you just buy the fabric and, like, hang out with me at my house, and you hang out, I'll make the dress while you're there. If you leave, I'm going to stop working on it. But if you come...

I love that you're trading for friendship. You just have to hang out with me, sis. Well, I'm not going to like, I mean, I don't mind making you a dress, but like not in your abs. Like I'm not going to sit around while you're out like skipping Lottie do die. And I'm just sewing a dress for a fucking stranger. I don't want to know you, but if you want to come over, we can hang out now. Can,

make you a dress. I like that. Honestly, most drag queens can't sew and they're like, that's a good deal to me. Pretend friendship, you can do it. I used to do this for a lot of queens. I would just stay up sewing, but I used to love, I loved...

Sewing I just did a sewing challenge On my chat page I told you I saw You should do it It's just eight minutes Of your life Wait what is it It's an eight minute Sewing challenge I try to sew a dress I'm gonna make a dress In eight minutes Are you gonna do it Oof I watched you do it I thought you did a good job I could do an eight minute dress I wouldn't do it Just a shift Like sleeveless She loves sewing Mine is It's not sleeveless Mine is a tank dress So it has It's a tank dress And I also made a cowl With finished edges Or no I didn't have it No It was like a pink lace So it was pretty forgiving Okay At least on camera Yeah

And I used a sloper, so I had like a shape. And then I also, honestly, it's eight minutes. Just watch this. Too much of a commitment. Getting the spark notes of like eight, five. How about two minutes? She likes sewing, but I think you're not into the eight minutes. You're more like, what if we did an eight-day stretch of stoning a mini dress I'm going to wear once? I love, yeah, I love sewing. Didn't you make the outfit she wore on the stairs? Step into the plate, I'm Chicks and Mattel. No, no, no, no, no, no. She cut out a cotton.

Fina told me that you cut out the fabric and then quit and then she did it. That sounds about right. Yeah. I might have like put the zipper down and then left. I was like, Katya made this and Fina was like, she cut the fabric and went to sleep. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But of course, like the Drag Race fans are like, she made that for her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever narrative you want to go with. That's fine with me. When was the last time you saw something?

Literally the other day She shows all the time I love that So I did the eight It started as a 10 minute sewing challenge I did one with Monet Where we did a 10 minute sewing challenge And she was in a The pissiest mood She's ever been in It was actually so bad We couldn't even post the video Because she was in such a bad mood She was like I can't relate

She was a miserable, miserable monster. And then we went to YouTube. We were filming at YouTube Studios, too. We took the book like a month in advance. So this whole day was just wasted because Monet was just so pissy. Yes. Now, like, over the course of the day, though, is there any, like, do you ever get the sense of, like, this is, we can't use this. We can't, what is, like, happening here? Do you know what I mean? There's only been one time where we, the,

The sewing challenge was the only time that we couldn't use the footage Because Monet was so pissy There is one where Monet was in a terrible mood But we still used it And if you look up sibling rivalry Bob Ross challenge The challenge was we both watch a Bob Ross video And then try to paint like Bob Ross Without pausing Have you ever followed a Bob Ross before? Yeah You really have to pause and look up the color Like get the colors You know what speaking of pause we have to take a break Let's take a break

The Bald and the Beautiful is supported by FX's English Teacher. From Paul Sims, the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows, FX's English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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And we're back with Bob Ross. So you just paint in real time with him. Monet was in a really bad mood. All the comments underneath were like, wow, Monet is really in a mood today. Oh.

Monet is a bitch confirmed. By the way, it's so Bob to be like, well, I did 10 minutes of Monet. So on my channel, I'm going to do less time. I'm going to beat her. Well, that was Jacob. Jacob was like, we'll do eight minutes now. Then I want to go back and do a 10 day sewing challenge where I do something like five hours a day for 10 days. Oh, making one big project. Yeah, just make something. And I can't stop until the end of 10 days and be like, here is my 10 day, five hours a day. Here's my 50 hour dress.

This is what I made with 50 fucking hours. I like some of the shit you make. I went to see you at Caroline's, I think, and you had that black lace gown on. And you're like, I've had it forever. It's nothing. I was like, I love it. That dress, I can ball it up, put it in my purse. I've worn that dress a million times. Like a million times. And now it's like somewhere in storage. People don't understand for drag. Of course, I have to like it. But if it has some magic utility to it, like you can ball it up. Oh, my God. I'm like, girl, that's my favorite outfit. Yeah.

I've worn catsuits that have just disintegrated into a puddle over the course of seven years. Don't you love when you have a catsuit with a sequin in the middle? Oh, rubbed out. Oh, yeah. Rubbed out. It literally looks like... I don't even know what. It just looks like... It starts to look like burlap almost or something. Yeah, like a...

Like slime almost. It's just like completely... No, that's your skin. That's how the fabric gives away when you see that skin. I was like, I think that's your loose pink sock dangling out of the bottom of your garment. Wait, let me ask you. Speaking of which, I got a call from a friend the other day about fisting. I'm all ears. So...

Moving to LA, I sort of quickly kind of... Started fisting. Yeah, immediately. Immediately. Both hands in there. Hop off the plane at LAX. With both of my hands in him. With both of my hands in him.

Is it gonna fit in? Oh my god. Do you get into fisting? I've never fisted anyone. I do have big hands. Right, so a desirable fisting type right here. Or some people like the small hands too. Angina, I'm just gonna tell her business. I was with her and she was like, I love fisting and the guys love it because she was like, verbatim, she goes, and my hand's so small they like it because I can, and then she started punching the air.

Now if you don't know Angina can shop in the men's Women's and children's She has that body type Where she's everything She used to buy her clothes At Toys R Us She has tiny tiny clothes I've never actually Put my hands Inside of anyone's Vagina or anus Is the prospect arousing

Not particularly, no. But I do have a fantasy, like visually for an artistic project of me sitting on a bed and like a really luxurious look with like an updo. Think like how glamorous Manila looked in that outfit with the rhinestone armpit on All Stars. Oh, with the white hair. Yeah. But like something like that. And then like the camera's like, you can almost see my shoulders. But when the camera pans out a little bit, you can see that I have my...

Up to the elbow Inside of two guys Assholes On either side And they're wearing Unicorn masks And I'm like Fisting them And then when I pull My hands out They're covered in Rhinestones And jewels Ooh

I've always wanted to do that and put it up on like Twitter or Xtube or something. Do it. The only problem with stuff like that is you do end up saying goodbye to a lot of potential corporate gigs. And also goodbye to their colons with the rhinestones. Did your vagina picture ruin your corporate gigs? Oh, which one? The picture of you with your leg up in the Photoshop pussy. The Photoshop pussy one? No, it was weird. It was some people loved it. Some people said I was co-opting women's bodies.

Some people said it's like the trans baby thing. Not all women have vaginas. That's what I'm saying. I mean, it's like the, we don't have to talk about it, but like the thing you called me about the other day. The plastic thing. It was a lot of different conversations, different ideas. Again, not all women have vaginas. Not all men have vaginas. One of my boyfriends has a vagina. One of my boyfriends is a trans man.

And I've definitely started thinking more about those kinds of things when there's someone like that in your life. Totally. And it used to be like, women and their pussies be like, and then I was like, well, not all women have pussies. Not everyone with a pussy is a woman. So there's that. 100%. Yeah. Did you, was this, this is the, trying to think of it delicately. Yeah.

Dating a trans man, were you always attracted to like, are you bisexual or how do you like sort of view your sexual preference?

I've been very into women recently. Quarantine really changed my life. That's fantastic. All this time alone, all this time maybe challenging what level of gay, not challenging, but like all this time in your house looking at porn and then it was like, I'm watching straight porn. Then I'm watching porn with two women in it. And then suddenly I'm watching a porn of just a girl jerking off. And I'm like, oh my God, I would have never thought I would be aroused by this, but I am. And then I was like, well, how much of this was me being a kid going, I'm gay.

So that's it. I almost created my own box. There's this TikTok that I... I've been thinking about making an anti-TikTok or a TikTok against this. It's this guy and he's like, yeah, mom, if I'm gay, can I say vajay? Vajay.

And I want to make the video be like, yeah, if I was gay, can I say vagina? Yes, I could say vagina because I, as straight TikTok is wilding out. This is a gay, it's a gay guy. They're the same level of just like stupidity. Like that whole like women hating gay thing is just so puzzling to me. It's so weird. Vaginas are disgusting. Like that. They're really not. They're great. Or they're just there. You know, it's like, it doesn't have to be. I'm sure there's some that I, that I wouldn't find favorable. Um,

They're all very different. Yeah. Dicks are really different. I think vaginas are even more different. But I'm definitely not into the whole idea of gay guys being like, pussies are gross. That's gross, actually. I think it's mad gross. That's like kindergarten behavior. 100%. It honestly really is. And I'm glad that we're in a realm where we're like, where people are, it's really weird. We're in this realm where we're, on the liberal side of things, people do feel a little bit more

embarrassed by their small mindedness. Yes. But on the conservative side, they're like really proud of it these days. Oh, they love it. It's like I saw that the other day was like when the straight guy is like, I don't care if you're gay, but don't hit on me.

The guy's always fucking disgusting. We weren't in the danger of hitting. That wasn't going to happen. Yeah, never married. Jabba the Hutt. I'm into men, not all men. Can you talk about TikTok for a second? I went to your TikTok recently and it is, I would quote Alyssa, mama, this is garbage. It's not good. I'm not good at it. What constitutes a good TikTok? Okay, so one of the comments I saw on TikTok, I was like, oh my God, this is literally, someone said, not Jixxie treating TikTok like Instagram stories.

Oh, I'm not good at TikTok. I'm not. Like, Trixie would be like, at the meet and greet. Oh, so TikTok is like activity focused. I don't remember what it was. It was a TikTok of Trixie in line at the meet and greet. Like, hey, everyone, just getting ready to watch Moving Parts. That's probably it, yeah. You had to dance and then kick a shoe and all that stuff. Well, I mean...

I love TikTok as an idea. I have a hard time not cringing at all of it. Oh, cringing is a part of TikTok. But then something fierce like, girl, don't do it. It's not worth it. Like that, I only need to see it once and I'm like, I'm in. If you don't know, don't do it, girl. I'm not going to do it. I'm just thinking about it. I'm not going to do it, girl. I did it. That isn't the best. It's usually, it's all about this woman who cut her hair. But not everyone does it with like everything. I wanted to do it with moving to LA. I wanted to be like looking at plane tickets online.

Don't do it I'm not gonna I'm just thinking about it I'm not gonna do it And then be standing In front of LAX Girl don't do it It's not worth it I'm not gonna do it girl I was just thinking about it I'm not gonna do it I was just thinking about it I was just thinking about it I was just thinking about it Oh this is a remix Oh not the remix Oh also like TikTok went off with You About To Lose Your Job I don't know if you know You About To Lose Your Job You About To Lose Your Job Is that You About To Lose Your Job

You were about to lose your job. Get this dance. Is that the one where like the, they, uh, Biden was at the speech and he was like, played that. So what he actually, what he actually played was despacito. Oh, so everyone just starts putting in their own versions of whatever. I loved the party in the USA one. Oh yeah. And then it shows Kamala dancing and then Trump's running out of the building. Like the internet during the election was a fucking gold mine because the funniest people on the internet, Patty don't start. Patty don't start. No, Patty don't start. Girl.

Did you make a t-shirt? That was crazy. Yes. We sold so many. Patty, don't start. And it was like me, a little bit wine drunk, and that white lady tried it. She said, it's like an old, old, and it was Patty with two followers, and she just was the most Patty you've seen. Who the fuck do you think you are? And who the fuck do you think you're talking to? And I just said, Patty, don't start. Don't start.

And then I like laid down for an hour and people who never, just so many texts of like, my mom sent me this. I'm like, Oh, Bianca went in on Patty. Yes. I went in on Patty. Patty dude. Patty was like, I'm going to leave off Twitter. Karen is almost ignorant.

Patty is somebody like that who's like almost like trying to be, I'm going to get on Twitter and let them have it. Like, no, Patty. And who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Because the president said something about like they found more ballots. I'm like, yeah, they found them in ballot boxes from voters. Yeah.

Pack your shit. Yeah, pack your shit. He acts like they're finding him under someone's car mat. Girl. Well, it's really funny because Donald Trump was like, it's absolutely amazing. They're finding ballots everywhere. It's really odd. All of a sudden, all the ballots are blue. All the ballots are blue. I'm like, is that weird? Because you literally told every one of your supporters not to vote by mail.

100%. You were like, don't vote by man. It's the biggest fraud. Excuse me. Fraud the likes of which you've never seen. Right. We've never seen anything like this. Excuse me. It's absolutely insane. And then all the blue votes like, anyway, girl. Also, when it's Republican Senate votes, it's valid. Yeah.

The Sin and Ghosts are absolutely... Excuse me. It's absolutely great. I love it. The Sin and Ghosts are bad. How did they manage to be so, I mean, just brazenly hypocritical? I don't... What was making me go from zero to a million was the news going... In the past few days, the news was going, well, we're just going to mute him because he's saying things that aren't true. I'm like, where have you been? Also, not to mention people being like...

You're encroaching on the First Amendment. Let's talk about the First Amendment for a second. First of all, not only that, but not Amy Coney Barrett not knowing the First Amendment. Mama. I know the First Amendment by heart. I learned it in seventh grade three years ago. I learned it in seventh grade, and I still know the First Amendment. You were still in seventh grade at 30? Yeah. It was a long game. How do I still know the First Amendment verbatim? And she was like, wait, what are the rights?

That's so crazy. Like, bitch, you're a Supreme Court justice. You should know the first second. With no experience, though. Why can you serve for life? Why? I don't know. Listen, let me tell you right now. When everyone's ordering food, like, where are we going to order? Where are we going to eat? And then grandma pops up. Like, grandma, you're in your early 80s or early 100s. You're not getting a vote. 100%. Meanwhile, when it's like, here are the most important things.

decisions in the land. It is someone who 18 years, 18 years, they got you for 18 years. Like they want you until you die. That is insane to me. Insane. And let's be honest, people don't get more rational or open-minded as they get older. Ruth Bader Ginsburg almost died 25 times. There, there is no job that you can keep in

No matter what. This is the only job in America where you can just be like, you know what? You got the job. We can't fire you. It's crazy. We're just here until you decide you want to leave. And as queer people, we have to deal with fucking Amy Quinn and Barrett. She's young. Forever. For the rest of our lives. She's in her 50s. This is insane. For the rest of our lives. It's also insane that she started being a judge in 2017. Yeah.

Yeah, she has no experience. There's no experience. Our president has no experience. Well, right, right. It's a gay girl. I was, you weren't, you weren't. You see the meme, Michelle Visage been a judge longer than Amy Coney Barrett. Yeah.

It's true. It's crazy. And that's the whole like fellowship of the light thing or whatever the fuck. It's like too much. Oh, so you're thinking about the First Amendment. When folks are like, you can't silence Trump. This is banning our First Amendment right. Just so you're all clear, if anyone's listening to this, the First Amendment protects your, you have the freedom of speech. This is in terms of the government. This is not in terms of private businesses. This is not in terms of other people. I can tell you to shut up and I'm not encroaching on your First Amendment. This means the government.

can't silence you. The government can't stop you. The government can't penalize you for expressing your opinions. Unless you're Kathy Griffin, apparently. Unless you're fucking Kathy. But if you have some opinion that I don't like or Twitter, which is a private...

company doesn't like, they can say hey, you can't say that here. They have policies and you are violating the policies that Donald Trump signed up for when he created a Twitter. When Trump created, he had to, you know that policy that no one reads, you just scan to the bottom without reading just so it'll allow you to click the little check. I do it all the time. Trump did the same thing and he violated the policies that

All of us have to abide by when it comes to Twitter. Well, the people seem to think that like the First Amendment shields you from the consequences of whatever you're allowed to say, which is that's not the case. Exactly. Well, even Twitter's cowardly, though. You're going to start censoring his tweets the day he starts to lose. Where have you been for four years when he lied all the time? True. Yeah. Why now? Been lying. Yeah.

Should have deleted him off the app. There was a four seasons new. I still can't believe that's a thing. If Shonda Rhimes wrote 2020 and with everything, if Shonda Rhimes was like, listen to me and listen to me well, we're going to start with a pandemic for the whole nation. No, for the globe. We're like, okay, interesting concept. And then about two months in, murder hornets. They're like, oh,

They're like not only that we're not done And then people are going to say Black Lives Matter And then other folks are going to be like Nuh uh And they're going to be insane They're going to be saying Black Lives Matter In places where black people don't even exist They will still be saying it And we're like okay And it's also going to be in election year Okay

Okay. Not only that, but the president of the United States of America is going to not concede when he loses. And they were like, Shonda, you have to make it believable. You're getting too crazy, girl. It has to be believable still. You gotta bring us down to earth. But like, this year...

It's like the weirdest Ryan Murphy, Shonda Rhimes, Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The Office. 30 Rock. When they showed up at the Four Seasons Landscaping. Girl. I was undone. I honestly don't think that was covered enough. I think that should have been on every news channel. Like, this is the stupidest shit I've ever seen. It's too absurd for Veep. It's so crazy. And then they go, Rudy Giuliani, all the networks have announced that he lost. He's like, oh, the networks. Yeah.

What is happening? Oh, also, he goes when they go when they go. Well, you know, the media has announced that that Donald Trump is that Joe Biden is president. Oh, oh, oh, the media. Also, only listening to a man that that fucking Sasha Baron Cohen tricked into whipping his dick out. Yeah.

This is who we're talking to. Maybe we are drag queens and we haven't worn pants in a long time. I don't remember putting them on that way. I mean, he's standing in front. He is standing in front of a garage door across from a crematorium and next door to a fucking porn shop that Melania Trump probably works at. Girl, he needs to go to that crematorium. This is it. He walked past an adult. He walked past a porn shop and then stood in front of this garage door.

Who answered the phone at Four Seasons Landscaping and was like, I'm sorry, who is this? Rudy, Julie. Can I just say that faggot who worked there, whoever that is, is fierce. Whatever faggot was like, you know, it's going to be cute. This is going to be so cute. They're going to sell more merchandise than landscapes they'll ever. They won't have to ever touch. They'll never have to scape a land again.

The landscaping is done. They're a merch store now. They're a tourist attraction. It's incredible. I'm ready for it to become like common slang. Like, well, how was your relationship? Was it a four seasons relationship or a four seasons total landscaping relationship? You know, how was that? Oh God. I could not. When he pulled up to that four seasons total landscaping, I was just undone. I was beside myself.

I was done. It's amazing. It's like such a, like the prophetic little wet fart to like round out the, the whole perfect ending. Trump has like, are we, we are all insane now because even those of us who believe in democracy, we're still like, what if there is a chance that Trump actually will do,

like get these votes count it back because we're traumatized because we're traumatized I don't doubt it at all I mean stranger things have happened I had the thoughts of what if he really won't leave and what if the army who's sworn to protect us really just doesn't kick him out and then he's just the dictator like yeah coup from the it will then it will it will be like it's like the confederate versus the confederates and the union versus each other again like but the thing is Mary when you look at the map

When you look at the map of the United States of America and it's like you see all this redness. It's like from the stripping through the country. The rosacea. Yeah, it's the rosacea. When you look at it, but then you look at the populations in those areas, you realize actually, bitch, do you know how many people live in Montana? This is no shade to Montana. 32 people. This is no shade to Montana. Montana is massive. It's massive, massive, massive. I think about a million people live in the entire state.

Yeah. The entire state of Montana. That's my condo building. Yeah. That's how many people have been on RuPaul's Drag Race. Yeah.

So what you see on the map is so much red on the map, but it's actually not that much red in real life. Now, granted, a little bit under half the country did still vote for her. A little under half the country still did vote for Ms. Donda. And more white women voted the second time, more for Trump. Tell me you're shocked. That is... You guys, Wisconsin, I love Wisconsin. I'm so happy they're blue again, but I was there. I'm from rural Wisconsin. I was like...

Why are we letting these buck-toothed bitches from my hometown decide the president? Wait, how far states went blue? Boston. The state of Boston. The state of Boston is always blue. Wait, did Massachusetts not go blue? Massachusetts always blue. Yeah, Massachusetts. Wisconsin is a swing, but it was for the last, like when I was 18 voting, it was blue. It was blue again, and then it was red for the first time the last time. Georgia was blue for the first time since Bill Clinton. Did you live? I was undone. The memes of Georgia turning blue. Girl. Yeah.

I'm not going to do it, girl. Miss Stacey came through. That's the tea. Oh, Stacey Abrams. What did she get? 800,000 plus non-voters to vote for the first time? Bitch. Girl, I'm obsessed with Stacey Abrams. She better go off. And we're not talking about... This is a political podcast now. Yeah, yeah. We're not talking about... You should vote. Okay, we're talking about people who are so uninspired by the system that they're like, why would I vote? It's never going to work in my favor. And that whore had to get people to be like...

It's all broken, but we need to start taking these first steps. If Georgia can flip, anybody can flip. Verse. Anyone's verse. We're all verse now, girl. If Georgia can be verse, because Georgia has been legendarily an exclusive bottom.

Pig bottom. But she was like, you know what? Are Dems the tops and then Republicans are the bottoms? And I was thinking of who would be less likely to flip. And I feel like less likely is like a bottom who really loves the bottom. They're like, not me, honey. Or they lie about it. Yeah, there it is. Because the Trump supporters were like, I don't know who I'm voting for, but they know. Have you ever baited someone?

With your penis And then was like Oh my verseness Your Fucking ass And I Literally until I was like 30 years old I told people I was versed But I have absolutely a bottom Like the bottom shame is so real Well I have a friend Is it really Yes I have a friend who was like Who was like tricking people into like Thinking he was gonna top them But then he was like Never not once I'm not gonna do it girl Yeah

When I top again in my lifetime, it will be 911 transition chromatica. Yes. 100%. Bob, I just love talking to you. Oh, this is great. We should take a break though. Oh, we should take another break. Let's take a break.

And we're back. I just used Trixie's bathroom. Did I pee in the toilet, the sink, or the tub? Who knows? That's the bathroom I never use. It's like a restaurant where people have to tell me if there's a problem in there. Did you know there's a turd in the back of that toilet? There's a problem. You're like, there is now. After what I did? Years ago when I wrote a Chick-fil-A, don't judge me, when I was in college I wrote a Chick-fil-A and I'll never forget the day this one took a shit in the urinal.

Oh, yeah. And the manager came out and was like, hey, guys, someone's shitting the urinal, so who's going to get it? And we were like, you get paid the most. I was like, I'm 18. I'm a theater major. And that's my shit, so I shouldn't have to do anything about it. I'll never forget. I was working at the chicken farm. I was sweeping the floor, mopping the floor, actually. And this guy, I had long hair, was in a ponytail. And this old man was standing behind me. He goes, ma'am, ma'am.

Ma'am. Okay, see, she would have responded. I just assumed he wasn't talking to me because I kept saying ma'am. And then I turned around and I looked him right in the face and he said...

ma'am where's the bathroom oh my god and i was like it's over there i mean at that point you were like yeah yeah the career was born well bob do you want to let everyone know where they can find you yeah go to bob the drag queen.com or type in bob the drag queen anywhere i mean if you type in bob the drag queen on twitter instagram uh tiktok uh i just joined parlor

Oh, yeah. That's the one Azealia Banks is on now. What is it? What's the tier? Parler is just a conservative. What? It's like Twitter, but conservative. What? What do you mean conservative? It's where all the Trump supporters try to go. Right wing? Yeah. Isn't Monet accidentally trying to...

Trump supporter famous now because she tweeted like, I know we're supposed to meet this other side halfway, but fuck all those people. And then, and then, uh, Ben Shapiro, we tweeted it. Oh my God. I am so torn about him because I know I'm damaged. I think he's so hot. Oh my God. Not hot, but some of the things he, you guys, he's such a good guy.

that I've watched things where I've learned like if I was moderate, he could convince me into a lot of shit. You want to drop his ballot in your box.

Not just because he's hot, but because the way he seems to have an answer for everything. Like that level of arguer is so dangerous. But those ideas. You know who's someone who's really conservative? Whose views I had? Not views. Monét. Ann Coulter. Not her views, but her argument. Like the way she argues and the conviction with which she argues is insane.

as an arguer as an avid argument listen butch by the way sibling if you like arguing sibling rivalry.com oh check out our patreon it's really popping off right now we got some great stuff going on and once we reach 10 000 patrons we have a very very very very special announcement a seven minute sewing challenge yeah we're halfway there now we have 5 000 patrons so we're trying to like work our way up anyway that's not the point who's this who's this lady

Shirley Phelps. Hear me out. If you watch Shirley Phelps, are you? It's one of the most. She's one of the folks I think of myself. If you were on our team, you'd be a fucking gay icon. I know. Of the Phelps. Yeah, she's the oldest one. She's the matriarch of the family. Go on YouTube, everyone, and watch her on Tyra. Oh, it's the tea. My God.

First of all, what I love about the Tyra Banks show, I know we're almost wrapping up. Tyra Banks was legendarily bad at interviewing people. The worst. She would lose at interviews all the time. And then she would still...

Like she called Naomi Campbell into her studio, had all the audience leave, and then confronted Naomi Campbell for two episodes about how Naomi Campbell made her feel bad when she was a young model. Naomi Campbell just looked at her and was like, that's your problem, not mine. And Tyra Banks was like crying. Naomi Campbell was like, and? And then she's still fucking air.

aired it and then Shirley Phillips had it on the show and she goes Google Tyra Banks saying get the fag off the TV I don't want to see that me whatever everyone kept saying everyone kept saying Bob when Blair shows up on all sorts of

It's not true, but when everyone comes saying that, that shit gets me. The Phelps shit is crazy. Oh, because she goes, see, you don't hate black people. Then she goes, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. It's one of my favorite moments. I gotta watch that. It's in the Church of Satan walking down the street and they're like, do you love Donald Trump? And they're in the robes with everything. They go, of course we don't.

It's so brilliant. It's so brilliant. I love that. But Shirley Fells is one of those folks, if she was on our side, she would be a fucking gay icon. Really? Why do you say that? Because she's so quick. She's so smart. She could have done Chromatica sooner for less money.

She's also just such a powerful woman. Like you can't take her down. She's smarter than you. She's a fucking lawyer. Well, she believes in God. So I mean, with that part, I mean, everything's a grain of salt here. These are the same people. The people in my life are religious, are the same people who are like COVID. Those numbers seem fishy. I'm like, you don't think a wizard in the sky seems fishy. The day that I found out that Ginger Man was a devout Christian, I was like, all right, we good. We good. We good. You just told me everything I need to know.

Well, so is Asia. I fucking know. Asia used to try to preach to me on the fucking tour bus every day about Jesus. Jesus Christ. The very one. The very one. About saving your soul. And I was like, I can't. It's crazy, bro. Also, like, does this even make sense?

If I told you all the stuff Jesus did just from any other, let me tell you right now, when I was growing up and my religious people would say like, this is all according to God's plan. It's all according to God's plan. If this world right now is going according to God's plan, this proves that God is racist. He is homophobic. He is trans. His plan, this plan is shit. The only way I could believe in God is someone says God made earth and

And then at one point in like 19 and like maybe, maybe around 2016 was like, I'm cutting my losses. I'm just going to leave you guys to yourself. I'm going to a different galaxy because this is shit. Yeah. This is my prototype. We'll give you a Beyonce visual album as an outro. And then I want you all to die to it because this is not the ticket. This is not what I had in mind. This is a bad plan. Don't do a girl. All right. We have to end. Bye, Bob. Bye. Bye.

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