cover of episode Emily Oster Talks About Our New Parenting Podcast

Emily Oster Talks About Our New Parenting Podcast

2024/10/5
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Honestly with Bari Weiss

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Emily Oster
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Jonathan Haidt
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Lenore Skenazy
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Tim Carney
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Emily Oster: 我认为现在的育儿话题非常复杂,涵盖了从孩子独自外出到饮食、纪律等各种实际问题。这个播客旨在提供一个有益的思考框架,帮助父母们思考这些问题。我们试图从不同角度探讨育儿问题,即使是与我观点相左的观点也会被呈现,帮助听众全面思考。 主动寻求信息和被动接受信息对父母心理健康的影响不同,被动接受那些旨在制造焦虑的信息对父母的负面影响更大。人们喜欢被告知该怎么做,这会带来舒适感,但缺乏独立思考会让人更容易质疑自己的决定。父母应该认真思考并做出适合自己家庭的决定,这样才能更好地抵御外界的质疑。即使是那些看似观点差异很大的受访者,在某些方面也存在共识,这让我很惊喜。关于全职妈妈与职场妈妈孰优孰劣的讨论是最具挑战性的,因为很容易让人产生被评判的感觉。即使与某些受访者的观点存在严重分歧,我也很高兴能与他们对话并将其纳入播客,因为这有助于展现育儿观点的多样性。养育孩子的意义不仅在于克服困难,更在于分享那些令人难以言喻的快乐瞬间。成为好父母的核心在于爱和支持孩子。这个播客将探讨一系列关于育儿的重要问题,即使这些问题很棘手或不被公开讨论。给予孩子更多自由和独立性,有助于他们身心健康发展。父母不必过度担忧所有可能发生的意外情况,有时需要学会放手。 Tim Carney: 过度投入的育儿方式可能会阻碍孩子独立性的发展。过去,养育孩子更自然,父母不会过度关注孩子未来的结果。直升机式育儿和过度追求卓越的育儿方式都会损害孩子的独立性。很多限制孩子自由活动的障碍是人们自己臆想出来的,或者说是文化和社会压力造成的。 Jonathan Haidt: 孩子需要独立玩耍来学习和发展。九十年代以来,成年人之间的信任度下降,导致父母不得不承担更多的监督责任。过度保护的育儿方式对孩子的成长不利。父母的育儿行为不仅是为了孩子,也与自身社会地位和声誉有关。解决过度保护孩子的集体行动问题需要集体行动。 Lenore Skenazy: 父母不必总是感到平静和安全,适度的焦虑是正常的,重要的是让孩子为世界做好准备。一代人对自由的观念转变很大,即使那些曾经享受过自由的人,也不愿给予自己的孩子同样的自由。让孩子参与到一些简单的独立活动中,可以有效提升他们的能力和自信心。

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Shownotes Transcript

When Emily Oster was a kid in the 1980s in New Haven, Connecticut, she grew up on a block with a lot of other children. Every day after dinner, around 6:30, everyone emptied out of their houses and went down to the church parking lot where they engaged in all kinds of unsupervised activities—throwing balls at each other in front of the church wall, climbing up trees and sometimes falling out of them, riding Hot Wheels until people skinned their knees. There was street hockey and there were scrapes. There were a few broken arms. 

That experience of playing outside unsupervised in the dark—or walking a mile home from school in kindergarten—is very different from her own children’s experiences, even though they’re growing up in a very similar environment, with very similar parents. They aren’t leaving the house every day after dinner. If Emily had suggested that they walk home from school in kindergarten, even though it’s only a couple of blocks, there’s no chance that would have been met with the school’s acceptance.

Since 1955, there has been a continuous decline in children’s opportunities to engage in free play, away from adult intervention and control. In 1969, 47 percent of kids walked or biked to school, whereas in 2009 that number had plummeted to 12 percent.

How did we get here? What are the consequences of hypervigilant parenting? On kids’ happiness? On their well-being? Their mental health? And on their ability to grow into independent, self-sufficient, and successful adults? And, maybe most importantly, how can we alter this trajectory before it’s too late?

Today, we’re thrilled to introduce our new podcast series: Raising Parents with Emily Oster

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