cover of episode The Arc of Love - A Small Town Affair

The Arc of Love - A Small Town Affair

2024/7/22
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
E
Esther Perel
女
女方
男
男方
Topics
女方：我在一段没有性生活的婚姻中与男方发生了婚外情，这段关系充满了激情和希望，但同时也伴随着欺骗和背叛。我质疑自己能否信任他，并希望我们能够重新开始，重建彼此间的信任。我担心他的欺骗行为会再次发生，这让我感到非常痛苦。我的童年经历中，父亲多次出轨，母亲却一直维持着家庭，这对我产生了深远的影响。我意识到自己对这段关系的投入，也与我童年时期对父亲关系的投射有关，我试图在与男方的关系中寻找一种被理解和被看见的感觉，同时又害怕被真正了解后被抛弃。我从男方的谎言中获得了一种满足感，这让我感到既痛苦又矛盾。 男方：我承认自己有说谎的习惯，这与我童年时期受到祖父的影响有关。我的祖父是一个有魅力但爱说谎的酒鬼和花花公子，我将他视为榜样。我习惯性地说谎，是为了取悦他人或提升自我形象，这与我的低自尊和抑郁有关。我意识到自己过去的行为很糟糕，并试图改变。我害怕失去与前妻所生的女儿，因此对女友施压，导致了女友两次流产。我意识到自己很孤独，也很后悔伤害了女友和儿子。我开始意识到自己过去的行为，并为此感到羞愧和内疚。如果不撒谎，我需要面对现实并接受自己的缺点。 Esther Perel: 这对伴侣的关系充满了挑战，他们需要学习设定界限，并处理彼此之间的信任问题。女方需要意识到，完全信任男方是不现实的，信任需要时间和过程。男方需要承认自己的说谎习惯，并意识到改变需要时间。他们之间的关系也反映了他们各自的童年创伤和家庭影响。女方在与男方的关系中，存在一种想要证明自己比其他人更强的动力。治疗师试图帮助他们理清彼此的动机和情感需求，并引导他们找到更健康的关系模式。最终，治疗师建议他们以朋友的身份继续维系关系，这比继续维持伴侣关系更有可能让他们保持良好的联系。

Deep Dive

Chapters
A couple recounts the passionate affair that ended their previous marriages and their struggle to build trust in their new relationship.

Shownotes Transcript

It began as a passionate affair and ended two marriages. Now, they're struggling as they try to build trust. Esther encourages them to be brutally honest--with themselves.

What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.

For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024

Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices)