cover of episode Now That I Have A Girlfriend, I Never Want To Leave My Wife

Now That I Have A Girlfriend, I Never Want To Leave My Wife

2024/1/15
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
丈夫
妻子
治疗师
Topics
妻子:长期以来,我都是家庭的主要经济支柱,承担了大部分的家庭责任,这让我感到身心俱疲。丈夫找到工作后,我们的性生活得到了改善,但这并没有让我感到完全安心,因为丈夫有了新的恋人,我感到不安和不确定。我需要丈夫不断地肯定我,让我感受到自己的价值。我过去扮演照顾者的角色,现在我希望我们能够更加平等。 丈夫:我过去在家照顾孩子,缺乏事业和个人成就感,这让我感到自己是个失败者,妻子也因此不再把我视为恋人。找到工作后,我感觉自己活过来了,我们的关系和性生活都得到了极大的改善。我和新的恋人发展感情,但这与妻子无关,更多的是我想要开始新生活。我需要找到属于自己的位置,既能兼顾家庭,也能拥有自己的空间和追求。 治疗师:妻子长期承担家庭主要经济来源和照顾丈夫的责任,这种情感上的照料反而阻碍了夫妻间的性生活。丈夫找到全职工作后,夫妻二人在事业上都找到了新的动力,这彻底改变了他们的情感结构,并直接导致了性关系的彻底改变。妻子的不安全感源于她认为爱是有限的资源,丈夫的爱一旦分给其他人,就会减少对妻子的爱。丈夫需要学习如何照顾一个充满活力、渴望被爱的妻子。夫妻双方需要在开放式关系或独占式关系中做出选择,并不断调整和适应。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The couple discusses how their roles in the relationship have shifted, leading to a renewed sexual and emotional connection, but also introducing complexities with outside relationships.

Shownotes Transcript

For years she has been the breadwinner while he has felt like a failure at home raising their daughter. After he found a new career and subsequently, a new lease on life, this couple has been erotically invigorated unlike anything previously in their marriage. She has been freed from caretaking, while he has found another person who is special to him. They come to Esther's office to see if their two (now three) is sustainable.

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