cover of episode Esther Calling- I Want Her to Like Me Less

Esther Calling- I Want Her to Like Me Less

2023/8/14
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

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Esther
女嘉宾
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女嘉宾:我44岁,在过去七年里与一位女性保持着断断续续的关系。每次分手都是因为她无法给予我想要的承诺。最近我决定不再接受这种限制,开始尝试新的关系。然而,当我遇到一位优秀女性并获得她的爱意时,我却感到不适,甚至试图让她对我没那么喜欢。我过去的情感模式是追求那些无法得到的人,这让我感到困惑和痛苦。我意识到自己习惯了在关系中争取爱,无法接受轻易获得的爱,这可能与我童年时期缺乏关注和安全感有关。我隐藏了自己的性取向,在学校暗恋女生时,感受到了被看见和被认可,这成为了我成年后情感模式的根源。如今,我意识到自己存在自我羞愧和自我厌恶的情绪,我不相信自己值得被爱和选择。 Esther:我理解你的痛苦和困惑。你习惯了在关系中争取爱,无法接受无条件的爱。这可能与你童年的经历有关,你缺乏安全感,习惯了追求那些无法得到的人。你需要思考的是,为什么你难以接受被爱和选择?这可能与你内心的自卑和不安全感有关。你需要接纳自己,接纳被爱和被选择的体验。这需要你面对内心的自卑和不安全感,这并非易事,但并非不可能。你需要停止自我否定,尝试加深与现任伴侣的关系,这将是一个自我接纳和自我成长的过程。你需要相信自己值得被爱,你值得拥有稳定的、充满爱意的关系。

Deep Dive

Chapters
A woman in her 40s struggles with accepting love from a new partner who is supportive and loving, feeling something is missing as she is accustomed to the emotional roller coaster of unrequited love.

Shownotes Transcript

A woman in her 40s talks to Esther about a crossroads in her life. She has begun a relationship with a supportive and loving partner, but without the constant roller coaster of emotions she's used to, she wonders if there’s something missing. Or is there something wrong with her?

Esther Callings are a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected].

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