cover of episode The Dumbest Ways I've Been Injured...

The Dumbest Ways I've Been Injured...

2025/1/8
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Burdie Stories

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#comic relief#childhood games and activities#childhood games#rookie mistakes and humor#fitness and exercise#psychological impact of football#food discussion#music#public events and transportation People
主播
以丰富的内容和互动方式帮助学习者提高中文能力的播客主播。
Topics
@主播 :视频讲述了主播童年以及成年后各种奇葩的受伤经历,这些受伤经历大多是由于自身粗心大意或者对周围环境缺乏足够注意造成的。从踩到散落在地上的乐高积木,到滑板车和自行车事故,再到打棒球时被球击中,以及在车库里玩耍时用工具弄伤自己等等,这些经历都体现了主播童年时期的鲁莽和缺乏安全意识。 长大后,主播虽然在一些方面更加谨慎,但仍然发生了一些意外受伤事件,例如在家里玩耍时撞到桌子,在橄榄球比赛中被队友击中腹部,在中学毕业典礼的充气障碍物上摔倒,以及在冰上滑倒等。这些事件也反映出主播在不同年龄段对周围环境的关注度和安全意识的不足。 除了这些意外事故,主播还分享了一些其他受伤经历,例如被蜜蜂蛰伤,在海滩晒伤,以及在演唱会上被从人群中冲下来的人砸伤。这些经历既有偶然性,也与主播自身的行为和环境因素有关。 总而言之,主播的这些受伤经历既滑稽又令人反思,提醒人们在生活中要时刻注意安全,避免因粗心大意而造成不必要的伤害。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

What were some of the most common injuries the speaker experienced as a kid?

The speaker frequently stepped on Legos, hit their ankle with a razor scooter, fell off their bike, and experienced common injuries like biting their tongue, stubbing their toe, or pulling a muscle. They also got hit by baseballs during practice and had a particularly bad incident where they were almost knocked out by a baseball to the head.

Why did the speaker get injured so often while playing baseball?

The speaker was often hit by baseballs during practice, describing themselves as a 'ball magnet.' One severe incident involved getting hit in the head with a baseball, which left them seeing stars and unable to walk straight. They also struggled to catch balls, leading to frequent injuries and embarrassing moments on the field.

What was one of the dumbest injuries the speaker caused to themselves as a child?

As a child, the speaker picked up a pocket knife, opened the blade, and touched it, resulting in a deep cut on their finger. They described it as a moment of sheer stupidity, acknowledging they were lucky it didn’t cause permanent damage.

How did the speaker injure themselves during a game of tag at home?

While playing tag indoors, the speaker ran full speed into a table, which they described as 'getting big bodied' by the table. They were shorter than the table at the time and ended up on the ground for a while, highlighting their lack of attention to surroundings.

What happened during the speaker's flag football game that made them reconsider having kids?

During a flag football game, the speaker was hit directly in the groin by a snapped football. They weren’t wearing a protective cup, and the injury was so painful that they joked about it making them reconsider having children in the future.

What was the speaker's most embarrassing injury during middle school field day?

During an inflatable obstacle course on field day, the speaker wiped out spectacularly, causing their back to fold in an unnatural way. They had to visit the nurse’s office and described the incident as both physically and metaphorically painful, especially since it happened in front of everyone.

How did the speaker injure themselves while cooking toast?

While attempting to make toast, the speaker burned their finger on the toaster oven while trying to remove the toast. They described the experience as unnecessarily painful and compared it to performing surgery.

What was the speaker's experience with a bee sting as an adult?

The speaker, who had been terrified of bees as a child, was stung by a bee for the first time as an adult at an amusement park. They realized the sting wasn’t as bad as they had imagined, though it did hurt for about an hour.

What happened to the speaker during a concert that caused a recent injury?

At a concert, the speaker was unexpectedly hit in the neck by a crowd surfer who fell on them. The impact caused neck pain that lasted for three days, marking one of their most recent and memorable injuries.

Chapters
This chapter recounts various childhood injuries, from stepping on Legos to numerous bike and scooter mishaps. The speaker's clumsiness and lack of attention are highlighted, leading to a series of avoidable accidents.
  • Stepping on Legos
  • Razor scooter ankle injuries
  • Bike wipeouts
  • Running into a table

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

The dumbest ways I got injured and at this point viewers of the channel you all know I was a stupid ass kid and there are just plenty of videos across my channel documenting my stupidity and there were many different ways I got injured that just could have been completely avoidable when I was a kid and even now sometimes honestly. Now let's start with some common injuries that I had all the time.

Okay, first of all, I'd leave my Lego scattered all over my room. So you already know I was stepping on Legos. It was just minds in a minefield. At 3 a.m., I would just step on one. Then you'd hear the loudest scream you've ever heard in your entire life. Hitting my ankle with a razor scooter. I-

just why did this happen? I don't understand. Every time I would come inside after riding my scooter, my ankle would just be completely swollen, falling off my bike. Yeah, it took me a long ass time to learn how to ride a bike. And every time I would ride my bike, I would have like the craziest wipeout ever. Like it could have went viral on America's home funniest videos or whatever that show's called. Like I have this really steep hill in my neighborhood. I cannot

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I'll tell you the amount of times I just absolutely wiped out and just tumbled down the hill. And if you remember, I was fat as hell as a kid. So I was just rolling down the hill about to get a strike with my bowling ball ass build. And we've all had like those really common and annoying injuries, like biting your tongue, stubbing your toe, or like pulling a muscle. And the worst part about these is they just happen unexpectedly. They just catch you by surprise. You don't even know it's coming. And now a place where I would get injured a lot is on the baseball.

field, all right? You know, I used to play baseball quite frequently. I was practicing like almost every day. I was locked in. I was trying to be an MLB prospect. And I was that one kid on the team that would just always get hit by the ball. And it once was so bad, I got hit in the head with a baseball and almost got knocked out. And of course, I advanced bases. So I started trying to walk towards the base. And in that moment, I had the motor skills of a drunk guy, bro. I couldn't even walk in a straight line.

And I was just completely seeing stars and the coaches were like, all right, we're subbing you out. There's no way you're clutching the game for us right now. And I couldn't even catch a ball either if my life depended on it. But regardless though, I was in the outfield. And every time a ball would get hit in my direction, I'd be like, I got it. I got it.

And just like that, my team was scrambling to get the ball as I was delirious as hell on the ground. And I would do a lot of dumb shit like this, for example. You know, this could have easily been avoided. I was like four when this happened. But I was looking around the garage, right? And my dad keeps his tools in there.

So I was just picking them up like they were an ancient artifact and I was just so amazed by them. Of course, I was screwing around with them. Okay, that was not meant to be a corny ass pun. I was just pointing a drill at my brother. I don't know. I was doing some stupid ass shit, but I got what I deserved. I next pick up a pocket knife. I open the blade.

And I was like, wow, this looks cool. And I just fucking touched the blade. Like, what the hell was I doing? Like, why would I touch the blade? Like, I'm just asking to cut my finger. And that's exactly what happened. My finger just starts uncontrollably bleeding. I'm lucky it wasn't even worse. I could have did permanent damage to my finger. And of course, I started crying. Like, what the hell did I think was gonna happen? And my parents just looked at me and probably thought to themselves, wow. The NFL playoffs are better with FanDuel.

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These kids' IQ is in the negatives. And of course, there's a lot more negative IQ moments to come. You know, I didn't really pay attention much. I still don't, to be honest with you. And one time, you know, I was just running around the house like an idiot. I don't even remember what I was doing. I think I was playing tag with my brother or something. And...

The first thing I'm thinking here is why was I playing tag in the house? There's no room to run around. I don't know. I just don't get it. But then I just ran full speed into a table and I just got big bodied by this table. All right. I wasn't even taller than this table. All

I was pretty short and I was down on the ground for quite some time. So it was a pretty bad injury That's crazy that I just got absolutely pieced by an inanimate object But that was just how little I paid attention to my surroundings like a switch didn't go off in my brain like hey dumbass There's a huge table right in front of you as I got older like in middle school I started playing football and now since I got hit a lot with baseballs, you know, I had a stomach pad I had all kinds of padding

Because apparently I was just a fucking ball magnet. So I had this stomach pad on. And this kid on my team decided it was necessary that my stomach pad, it just needed to be tested. And he himself had to make sure the stomach pad worked. Now, when I first met this kid, he would pick on me quite often. So I figured this dude just wants an excuse to punch me in the stomach. He was like, yo, bro, can I test your stomach pad? Uh.

That's pretty much how it went in a nutshell. And then after that, I was just kind of rolling around on the ground for two minutes and I could barely breathe. But honestly, getting hit in the nuts is much worse than getting hit in the stomach. Now, alongside regular football, I also played flag football. And you know, after this story, I don't think I'm having kids. It's just not happening. The center snapped the ball and I was like set. What?

Yep, the football hit me right in the nuts, and I don't even think I was wearing a cup either. For whatever reason, I was just not protecting the care package. But as I continued on in life, I went pretty injury-free for a while, and it was up until my very last day of middle school. And for those of you that never experienced a field day at your school, I'm very sorry for you.

You definitely missed out. That's all I'm going to say. And now at my school on field day, the teachers and staff set up a bunch of like inflatable slides and shit like that and a bunch of other activities. And there's this one inflatable that was kind of like the show Wipeout. And the concept was you would try to complete this obstacle course without wiping out. And who would have thought that's exactly what I didn't do. And I jumped on like this bounty pad thing or whatever it was. And then I folded physically and metaphorically.

My back was not supposed to fold in like that. And I immediately went to the nurse's office after embarrassing myself by wiping out in front of everybody and trying to hold back tears. And after that, field day was not really going too great for me. But now for like high school era to like current day, I could really only think of a few notable injuries. Now, of course, it snows a lot, right?

I live and I think this was like my senior year of high school, you know I'm not gonna have this crazy build up for the story But I literally trippin fell in front of everybody I slipped on the ice like a goddamn cartoon character like it just did not look good the - however many aura meme or whatever the fuck it just felt real in that moment

The entire class is watching me eat shit on the ice. Yeah, bro, it was bad. My tailbone was fried and that shit hurt for like weeks. Every time I would sit in one of those garbage ass school desks. Yeah, it was over. At this point, I won't be surprised if I end up with a bunch of back problems when I'm old. And now recently I've been trying to cook. Sometimes things taste like ass, you know, things don't go too well. And I mean, for the most part, my cooking is absolute garbage. If Gordon Ramsay saw the atrocity I was cooking up,

Let's just say I would get cooked more than I actually cooked on live television. And you guys want to know what I was making?

Toast. I was making f*cking toast. How did I screw up making toast? I don't understand. So when it came time to take the toast out of the toaster, it's like trying to do surgery trying to take it out without burning your finger. And my finger touched the top of the toaster oven and of course I burnt my finger. It wasn't anything crazy, but it did hurt for a few days. Now I'm sure some of you watching this video have been stung by a bee before.

And I haven't been stung by a bee up until like two years ago. And as a kid, I was so scared of bee stings and bees. And I was acting like it was the end of the world if I ever got stung by a bee. Whenever there were bees swarming around outside, I would run back inside. And that was it. I wouldn't go back outside until the bees were gone. But two years ago, I was walking at this amusement park.

And all of a sudden there was a bee that just came out of a bush right next to me and just stung me in the arm. But after the sting marinated for like an hour or so, like I was good because when I was a kid, I just thought it was the end of the world. When you get a bee sting, it's still her, but it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was. And now, of course, in that exact same summer, which is crazy, I went to the beach for

Like the first time that summer and now my skin isn't exactly adjusted to getting that much sunlight because it was just winter six months ago And I use sunscreen that I don't even know how old the damn sunscreen was but whatever I used Clearly didn't work at all

Because I get to the beach and then all of a sudden I come home with the skin complexion of a tomato. I really didn't sit in the sun for that long either for my skin to be burning that much. And it was so bad that for the next week, my skin actually hurt. Like when I would lie down on my back, it just hurt. My entire body was aching. And from that day forward, I always made sure to put on copious amounts of sunscreen.

Okay, that's a bit of an over-exaggeration, but I just make sure that I reapply or else some bullshit like that's gonna happen. I'm pretty sure it was like 90 degrees out too that day, so that didn't exactly help either. Now, this next one was probably my most recent injury.

Now this summer, I spawn camped a lot of different concerts. And one of the concerts I ended up going to happened to have crowd surfers. Now I've never seen anybody crowd surf in my entire life. But basically what happened is somebody was getting carried behind me as I was just standing watching the concert. And now this dude that they were carrying had the exact same build as Rod Wave. And then this dude just fell on top of me.

He hit my neck and then like bounced back off of me. And I looked behind me to see if this dude was okay. But he just wanted to go for round two.

Okay, whoa pause but now he's wanted to go right back up there He didn't care that nobody picked him up And of course it took like fucking 10 people to get this guy back up there But then my neck hurt for the next three days because he just landed on top of my neck But yeah, that was the worst recent injury i've had that I could think of honestly if you like this video You'll like the video I made on the dumbest ways to die. It's on the end screen right now. Just click on it