The Dumbest Ways I've Been Injured...
Burdie Stories
Deep Dive
What were some of the most common injuries the speaker experienced as a kid?
The speaker frequently stepped on Legos, hit their ankle with a razor scooter, fell off their bike, and experienced common injuries like biting their tongue, stubbing their toe, or pulling a muscle. They also got hit by baseballs during practice and had a particularly bad incident where they were almost knocked out by a baseball to the head.
Why did the speaker get injured so often while playing baseball?
The speaker was often hit by baseballs during practice, describing themselves as a 'ball magnet.' One severe incident involved getting hit in the head with a baseball, which left them seeing stars and unable to walk straight. They also struggled to catch balls, leading to frequent injuries and embarrassing moments on the field.
What was one of the dumbest injuries the speaker caused to themselves as a child?
As a child, the speaker picked up a pocket knife, opened the blade, and touched it, resulting in a deep cut on their finger. They described it as a moment of sheer stupidity, acknowledging they were lucky it didn’t cause permanent damage.
How did the speaker injure themselves during a game of tag at home?
While playing tag indoors, the speaker ran full speed into a table, which they described as 'getting big bodied' by the table. They were shorter than the table at the time and ended up on the ground for a while, highlighting their lack of attention to surroundings.
What happened during the speaker's flag football game that made them reconsider having kids?
During a flag football game, the speaker was hit directly in the groin by a snapped football. They weren’t wearing a protective cup, and the injury was so painful that they joked about it making them reconsider having children in the future.
What was the speaker's most embarrassing injury during middle school field day?
During an inflatable obstacle course on field day, the speaker wiped out spectacularly, causing their back to fold in an unnatural way. They had to visit the nurse’s office and described the incident as both physically and metaphorically painful, especially since it happened in front of everyone.
How did the speaker injure themselves while cooking toast?
While attempting to make toast, the speaker burned their finger on the toaster oven while trying to remove the toast. They described the experience as unnecessarily painful and compared it to performing surgery.
What was the speaker's experience with a bee sting as an adult?
The speaker, who had been terrified of bees as a child, was stung by a bee for the first time as an adult at an amusement park. They realized the sting wasn’t as bad as they had imagined, though it did hurt for about an hour.
What happened to the speaker during a concert that caused a recent injury?
At a concert, the speaker was unexpectedly hit in the neck by a crowd surfer who fell on them. The impact caused neck pain that lasted for three days, marking one of their most recent and memorable injuries.
- Stepping on Legos
- Razor scooter ankle injuries
- Bike wipeouts
- Running into a table