Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Mobile games. Mobile games were goaded. I remember every time I would wake up in the morning, I would be so excited to get on my iPod Touch and play mobile games. Mobile games truly were the wave when I was like 9, 10 years old. But now, it's kind of just a different story. So today I figured we'd reminisce on some of the greats, okay? Because let's face it, mobile games now suck. So first, I figured we'd start off with Clash of Clans and Clash Royale. Now when I was a kid, I used to play these games all the time.
But not anymore. I would remember waking up and being so devastated when my base got raided. Or throwing my iPod when I lost an attack. Or I'd just walk into my parents' room and beg them for gems. Bro, I would do the most for gems. It was crazy. What are you even doing up so early? So, I'm out.
I'm on Clash of Clans, right? And I want to buy gems. Not this shit again. Go back to your fucking room. And when they would say no, it was the saddest moment of my life. So I resorted to other things to try and get gems. And one day I saw it. My life changed. Free gems in Clash of Clans. Oh my God. And I genuinely believed it. I saw a YouTube ad that was literally like, here's how to get free gems in Clash of Clans. And...
All you had to do was like fill out your account, your email, phone number. And I did it. At the time, I was pretty new to the internet. This was like my fourth year on the internet. So I was pretty new. Yeah, I genuinely didn't know that people would lie. Yeah, that's crazy to me. I don't know how the hell I was so stupid. But when I put in my information, I was like, where are the gems?
Yeah, they weren't there. I tried it again, nothing. And I really didn't understand that I'm getting scammed right now. They were just taking my information and feeding me random emails and I just didn't get the memo. Next up, we got Cut the Rope. Now, the lore of this game made absolutely no sense to me.
You get this green dude at your front step and you open a box and you feed him candy. But regardless of it making absolutely no sense, I still love the game. The game holds dearest to my heart. I still have it on my phone. And you bet your ass, I beat every single level and three started.
I was sweating this game like crazy. Like there was no stopping me. All my friends were like, bro, you're so good at Cut the Rope. And I played every single Cut the Rope game. The time travel one, the experiment one, Cut the Rope 2. You bet your ass I was playing all of them. Whenever long car rides came up, I would put on my earbuds and grind Cut the Rope. And what was going to my earbuds? Probably like some Usher. That's who I listened to all the time back in the day.
Now, next up, we got Jetpack Joyride. Jetpack Joyride was one of those games that, I mean, I didn't really play it too, too much. When I got into it, I really got into it. Like, I was just desperately trying to beat my high score. And it was kind of the same for me with Subway Surfers. I didn't really, like, stay into it too long. But of course, thanks to TikTok, Subway Surfers kind of had a resurgence. And you bet your ass I played it again. That game is too goaded not to play again. I kind of put these two in the same category because...
Games are really similar. They have similar concepts. You just run and collect coins until you die and get power-ups. That's pretty much it. Next time we got Angry Birds. Now, Angry Birds, man, it was my go-to game without Wi-Fi because I couldn't play Clash of Clans. I couldn't play Clash Royale. I couldn't watch Netflix shows that aren't in the U.S. thanks to Atlas VPN. Yeah, I'm being for real. If you switch your location to the U.K., you'll be able to access friends in the U.S. Quick plug, link in description. But yeah, I couldn't do that without Wi-Fi.
So I was playing Angry Birds. And whenever I would get stuck on a level, bro, I was so mad. I'd be scrapping with these pigs for a full day at a time until I finally beat the level. And trust me, you know I was using mom's credit card to buy those Mighty Eagles. Because I sucked. There was no way I was beating all those levels. Anyways, next game I played all the time, Plants vs. Zombies. Now before I got it on my phone, I actually had it on my DS.
Now remember, I got stuck on one level and I was just there for like two weeks until my friend told me, dude, you're an idiot. Put your plants in rows. What are you doing? And I beat the game thanks to that. Literally. I was being an idiot. I was throwing plants in just random spots. Supposed to get those walnuts up front, man. That's how you do it. And I was not doing that.
Next up, we got Dumb Ways to Die. Bro. Despite the simple concept it has, it is such a great game. Because that's all I really needed to entertain myself as a child. Just like a simple game with a really easy concept and really visually appealing. And that's really all I needed. Hours were put into this game. Blood, sweat, and tears. Until I finally unlocked all the characters. And they were just sitting there at my train station. Bro, I felt so satisfied, man, when I got every single one.
Next up, we got Doodle Jump. Despite the really simple concept, again, just jumping on platforms, shooting creatures as a green elephant, I loved it. For its time, it was really unique. But now, we kind of see games like this all the time, in like way worse quality. I mean, literally anyone can make a mobile game now.
It doesn't matter who you are. You don't have to be like some coding genius, bro. Some dude can make a mobile game on goddamn Scratch if he wants to. You guys remember Flappy Bird? Now, Flappy Bird was the first example of just like anybody can make a mobile game. Now, even though Flappy Bird was like a really easy mobile game to make, it went so viral because of its difficulty. I remember when I first got Flappy Bird, I raged so fucking much like I cracked my iPad screen.
Like, it was not looking good for me. Now, I don't know why I would be screaming and raging over these mobile games, but man, mobile games were more important to me than actual, like, Xbox or Wii games. I was really trying to show off to my friends my new high score on Flappy Bird. My high score was pretty trash. It was like 20.
Like, I didn't even have that good of a high score. But it really does amaze me how Flappy Bird got the testosterone going. And now since Flappy Bird's no longer on the App Store, people are selling their phones on like eBay or something with Flappy Bird for like a hundred grand. Bro, my phone still has Angry Birds. I don't know if I should be selling that shit or what's going on.
Where's my water? Bro, this one would have me confused and just sitting there for hours trying to figure it out. So remember how I said I was a stupid kid? Yeah, I was. And I was just sitting there trying to figure out how to get this dude his water. I had to sauce up bro with his water. It was a part of my day. Bloons Tower Defense. When I begged my parents to buy me this game, I got it and...
Man, it was fucking great. The amount of chores I had to do for all these mobile games. I was over here slaving away, but it was worth it. Balloons will always have a place in my heart because man, it was just goaded like that. And it was another great game for long car trips. Now mobile games literally just flood ads everywhere.
Like every time you die, another ad pops up and that doesn't even count micro transactions. That's like a whole nother story right there. And this next game, man, that shit had me raging. All right. Next up we got geometry dash. Now I wasn't really competent to beat this game until I was in high school. I wasn't really a pro or anything, but I almost beat all the basic 12 levels or whatever it was. I finally started to cook. Like I was stuck on level five or six for years until I finally just picked
up the game again and just beat it. This game had me breaking my screen. I mean, I wasn't punching walls or anything, but shit, I was throwing my phone a lot. Every time I would get to 99%. Oh my God. It was like the end of the world for me. Just that last jump. You always mess up, bro.
It really, really had me in tears. But nothing beat the satisfaction of when you finally beat a level. After the blood, sweat, and tears you put in, it was amazing. Every time I'd find a new mobile game, bro, I would get hyped. Because I was like, oh shit, that's cool, more games to play. But now, I really don't have any mobile games that I really play that much. I could really only name one mobile game right now that came out like pretty recently that I could-
that I play a lot. Brawl Stars. I don't know how many of you have heard of it, but this game is amazing. It was created by Supercell, so it has to be good. Each brawler has like a different power-up, and they each have a unique attack, and it's honestly really cool. And I do play this game a lot. Like, it's really good. For the most part, mobile games kind of suck now.
I don't know if this is just me, but I just find myself replaying the classics. And I don't know if it's just because like I grew up on those games and I really enjoyed them or it's just like mobile games are just garbage now. I don't know what it is. It's like once in a blue moon. I find a good mobile game now. Nowadays, I'll be seeing like the goofiest mobile games on TikTok. Like I don't know what the hell this is. These games suck. They're fucking terrible.
And don't even get me started on the ads. Like back in the day, man, it was a whole ass movie, movie theater level premium trailer. It was a cinematic feature film, bro. They were getting millions of views on YouTube. Everybody loved them. And look at mobile game ads now. Absolutely atrocious. I don't know if y'all got Instagram, but I never plugged mine. I might post. I don't know. Follow me if you want. I'm gonna try and follow some people back too. And thank you guys for the support. I genuinely cannot thank you enough. Want another video to watch? Watch this video on screen. Anyways, I'm out. Bye.