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The best ways to skip school. Since the end of the year is coming up, I figured a lot of you are probably going to be skipping class. And today I compiled a bunch of different ways you can skip school, and I'm going to rate them 1 to 10. Do this at your own risk. I don't want to be responsible for you having 500 absences. Jesus Christ. And let's just start with a classic. The I'm sick method. This was my bread and butter right here. Whenever I want to skip school, I would try this. And did it work? Yeah, f*** no. It would always go something like this. I'm sick. I'm sick.
No the f*ck you're not! Get the hell up and get your ass to school! And this method has worked maybe twice in my life. And the days I would want to pretend to be sick, the craziest- Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon.
Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
- I did a few shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. - Functions were going on apparently. Bro, you missed it. We took a field trip to Disney and then when we got back, we threw a big rager in the gym. Playboy Carty was there, he performed a concert. Where the hell were you, bro? I'm gonna give this method a four out of 10. It barely ever worked for me. That one sucked royal ass just like the I got lost method. People would just walk into class late as hell sometimes. The teacher would be like, "Where were you?"
Oh no, I got lost. The fuck you mean you got lost? This is the 10th week of school. When you get to a new school, it feels like you're gonna pull out a whole safari map, a compass to figure out where the fuck you are. But bro, if you're going to the same place over and over again, like Squidward in that one episode of SpongeBob, you should have a pretty good idea of where you are by the 10th week. So yeah, one out of 10. This method only works at the beginning of the year.
going to the bathroom. Now this method is good if you don't abuse it. Because if it's a recurring pattern, like you go to the bathroom all the time, the teacher's not going to believe you're taking a mean shit anymore. This is like a once in a while thing you got to pull. And I would pull this once in a while. And it worked. No teacher ever questioned me. I would just sit in the stall and run up a bunch of attacks on Clash of Clans. It also depends on the kind of teacher you're dealing with. Do you deal with a stickler ass teacher that's like, I'm
Well, it's been 15 minutes. Somebody go get him. They're gonna want to hunt you down like the feds, bro. It's over. They're not stopping until you're back in the classroom. This one's getting a 5 out of 10. If used right, it could be very efficient. The secret exit. This is a place where you could just dip without anybody really seeing you. Yes, it is risky. You could have Paul Blart on your ass, but as soon as you leave, what is he gonna do? You're off the school grounds already. They may be able to figure out who you are, but...
But otherwise, you're fine. Sometimes people in my classes will pretend they're going to the bathroom, come back 30 minutes later with a whole ass gourmet breakfast. Oh, hey guys, what'd I miss? If you do this in between classes, you're good. The chances of you getting caught are pretty low. But if you just leave school entirely, I don't know, man, you might be cooked. I'm gonna give this method a 6 out of 10. It's not bad, but obviously it's got a lot of flaws to it.
They're gonna contact your parents until the end of time if they find out but you may be asking birdie How do they not contact your parents? Well, that's why when you get that contact sheet at the beginning of the year write your phone number and some random ass email like you could put some stupid shit like milfhunter85 at gmail.com or actually no don't do that But if you do something like yankees fan 85, maybe that's a little more believable Basically when you do this every time a teacher comes
calls or emails that, oh, Birdie has been missing school. It's just going to pop up in your inbox and they're just going to keep calling your phone number. You're going to keep getting angry messages from your principal. I've had it up to here with Birdie. Absolutely ridiculous behavior. Can you please send him to school now?
And whoop his ass before I do it myself. Thank you. Yeah, if I get that, bro, it's time to just give up and go back to school, bro. I'm not trying to get my principal to show up here with a belt. Hell nah. If this method isn't abused, it could be a really good method. 8 out of 10. Like, if you use, like, one day or two days once in a while, like, no one's really going to
But if you skip half the year, bro, you're not graduating. This is a pretty easy method to skip. Just like dipping during an assembly. They take attendance right at the start. And then when you go to the assembly, you can just leave. They're not going to take attendance again. So me and my brother, the duck, tried this. We had a football pep rally coming up. This was during our senior years. On the way down, we were not being supervised by a teacher. So we just distanced ourselves from the crowd and left. Hopped in the whip and then just drove home. And we did not get caught at all. Nobody even knew.
Like who the hell wants to sit at a pep rally, bro? I'm trying to go home. Or sometimes the assemblies are just boring as shit. Or they're like a PSA about vaping. Like bro, I don't vape and I never plan on it. Why the hell do I need a PSA? But yeah, this is a 9 out of 10 method right here. Really good. The only problem with it is I barely had any assemblies at all. And you usually kind of know when they were coming up. There'd be posters in the hallway. And how do I know this? Because sometimes...
I would roam the halls. This method sucks ass. Because yeah, sure, you could get out of like five to ten minutes of class. But once the hall monitor stops you, it's raps. Erm, excuse me. Do you have a pa-
Yeah, this shit is really annoying. I shouldn't need a pass to roam the hall. And also, what do you even gain from snitching on me? Nothing. Like, there's literally no gain except brownie points with the teachers. Like, bro, just say you are the teacher's pet at this point. A lot of teachers ask favors of their students. If the teacher's pet's not, like, raising his hand in the air like, ooh, me, me, me, you can beat him out.
And you can run an errand for the teacher to skip class. This one's not really the best method in my opinion, but it will get you out of like a solid 15 to 30 minutes of class. A lot of times they need papers printed or papers in the office. You could say, oh, the printer was down. It took the whole class to get it fixed if you really wanted to. But honestly, this method doesn't really get you out of much. So it's a 4 out of 10 for me, honestly. Roaming the halls, this one's getting a 3 out of 10 because the moment you get caught without a pass, you're done.
You know what would get you a pass though saying you don't feel good This one got me places in elementary school I would go to the nurse's office every day to say some stupid shit like my stomach hurts Even though sometimes it really didn't hurt at all and one time they actually let me out So I just kept doing it over and over and over again And eventually I got out of school like 10 times because of it. I pulled this in middle school as well Probably like a 7 out of 10. It's not bad But if you do it all the time, they're obviously gonna catch on to you
Eventually, the nurse will be like, ah, just throw an ice pack on it. Go back to class. Even if you've got battle scars, your head's cut open, your leg's missing. Nope, she's throwing an ice pack on it. But speaking of pretending to be sick, faking a fever kind of works sometimes. For this method, you take like a warm rag or something, put it on your face, and tell your mom that you have a fever. This literally worked one time for me.
And that was it. Because my mom was not gullible. She knew I was trying to skip school. I was just not getting out of it, bro. I was cooked. The moment my mom took my temperature, yeah, it was over. This method is, eh, it's garbage. 3 out of 10. But this one is really good. Senior Skip Day. A lot of you might be like, what the hell is Senior Skip Day? Well, it's a protest where all the seniors get together-
and say we had enough of this we're just skipping and everybody as a class just goes to the beach together to skip school and that's what i did for my senior skip day i just went to the beach and we almost got kicked out because we were the only ones on the beach and people were smoking and drinking like what the hell do you think is gonna happen the cops were searching through my they were like all right any weed in here any alcohol in your buddy no just lemonade oh lemonade huh you got lemonade in here yeah sure
Oh, oh, he actually does what the and why this method works so well is bro What the hell are they gonna do about it? They can't get all of us if the whole senior class is missing They can't just chase us all down nine out of ten because this happens only once in your high school career signing yourself out Once you turn 18, you're gonna be able to sign yourself out and they can't really say anything to you because now you're an adult So what can they really do nothing like if you're on track to graduate? They can't just take it away from you. Originally your parents had to do it
But now your parents don't even have to know. So you can move in silent and be like, oh, how was school today? Oh, it was great. You know, I learned so much about quantum physics and the Pythagorean theorem. No, I f***ing signed out second period. Are you kidding me? The moment I turned 18, I used this exploit as much as possible. And I turned 18 in May. The year was almost over. So I wasn't even able to use it as much as I wanted to. But this method is the first time.
10 out of 10 on this list. You have your full senior year to do it, depending on your birthday. Next on the list, we got the fake note. Basically, on this note, you're pretending to be your parents and you're trying to give yourself an excuse to leave school. So you gotta write in cursive, do all this fancy shit, and you also gotta make sure you don't fuck up their signature. "Dear to whomever may see this, my son, Birdie, must be dismissed at 10:00 AM for his doctor's appointment."
Please excuse him from class. Thank you. Birdie's mom. I never tried this method because my handwriting was scrotum, so there was no way they were gonna believe me. And the second hole in this plan is they have to pick you up. So how the hell are you gonna get home? But the note can be used wisely though. If you hand it in and say you have to skip the next few days because you're going out of town or something. And that leads me to my next method.
pretending to go on vacation. You can tell all your teachers, I'm actually headed over to Fiji. Yeah, you know, it's going to be a great time. Then they'll give you all the work to catch up on. Teachers aren't going to call them since they think you're in fucking Fiji. But in reality, you're freezing your ass off in the middle of goddamn Minnesota. You just have to leave the house every day just so your parents don't find out. I would say this one's a 7 out of 10. And now half my high school career was spent over the computer. That's right, bro. The Zoom lock-in was just insane.
Hell nah. Nobody was locked. Everybody was skipping class. And honestly, skipping Zoom class was the easiest shit ever. Now that Zoom classes are used for snow days, I figured some of you could find this useful. The classic, my camera doesn't work. This got me out of class so many times.
A lot of teachers would require you to turn on the camera. Like I either just rolled out of bed or I was mid-nap. Like I'm not turning on my camera. That's crazy. But when the teacher would press me, I would just say my camera wasn't working and I would just go do some other shit. I would say this is an 8 out of 10 method. Pretty good. The only drawback is when you're at the end of the class and it's just you and the f***ing teacher. That is the most awkward shit ever. Uh, Birdie? You there? Birdie. Birdie! Wake the f*** up!
But this method was by far the best method to get out of Zoom class. So, can anybody tell me when the Declaration of Independence was signed? Uh, yes, Billy. Um, so the Declaration of Independence was signed on August 7th. It...
All you gotta do is pretend like your wi-fi is poo and you're out there you go Like your friends shit on you for having garbage wi-fi So, you know what at least you can use it to get out of zoom class 10 out of 10 And another way you could skip school is by going on a field trip and i'll tell you all about it in this video Right here. Just click it. Trust me
