Handling Loss | Guided Sleep Hypnosis for Grief
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Hi, I'm Jessica Porter, and welcome back to Sleep Magic, a podcast where I help you find the magic of your own mind, helping you to sleep better and live better. Before we get started, let's hear a quick word from our sponsors who make this free content possible.

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Thank you everyone for being here. I'm going to cut to the chase tonight because the topic is a big one. Handling loss. I've recently lost a friend, someone I loved and with whom I spent some very interesting and formative years. We had some real adventures together. And now with him gone, I feel sad. And it's strange that I'm the only one carrying our memories around. Losing someone is weird.

There's also a pain in me that touches off all sorts of other pains buried inside and is being brought up these days by the most random scene in a movie. I'm feeling loss, the most human of feelings, a sweet, strange, and awful void down which we are all pulled now and again. Which brings me to all the big thoughts one has at times like these.

I used to volunteer for hospice when I was in my 20s, so I was up close to loss and death. And then I spent a lot of my 30s helping people have babies. And I remember thinking, we spend most of our lives playing the middle keys of the piano, doing our lives, achieving our goals, having our adventures. But then there are these other keys of the piano.

on either side of the middle, at the bottom and the top of the keyboard. They play different sounds and make us have different feelings. We don't play them all the time, but there they are. And when we play them, our lives are really different for a while. Like we're in a different dimension and we're changed by it. And I think those are the keys that are played when we experience death. And at the top of the keyboard, birth. So I'm here right now,

on the end of the piano, feeling the lower keys, and I'll be here again. So whether you're dealing with loss right now in your life, you probably have and have a sense of what I'm talking about. So tonight we step into loss and let ourselves move through it and grow from it. One last thing, this episode is about losing a loved one.

It is like all sleep magic designed to help you fall asleep, but it may not be appropriate for everyone tonight or for kids. So if you're not in the mood, please listen to a previous sleep magic episode. There are lots of them and I'll see you next week. Finally, finally, this episode is dedicated to Howie. So get yourself into a safe and comfortable position and let's begin. Allow your eyes to close easily and gently.

and just bring your awareness to your breath for a moment, allowing your awareness to come home, coming back home to your body. And now I'd like you to bring your awareness up into your eyelids and imagine that the muscles of your eyelids are feeling loose and limp and relaxed and allow them to feel nice and heavy. And now I'd like you to accept the suggestion that your eyelids are in fact so relaxed that they will not open. And as you know, this is just a game, we're just playing pretend.

But as you pretend that your eyelids are so relaxed they won't open, I want you to test that by wiggling your eyebrows. Just wiggle your eyebrows while your eyes remain closed. Well done. Now we're going to approach the relaxation slightly differently tonight. Very differently. It's going to be like an old school yoga class or an acting class. We're going to begin with the tension that we carry in our bodies. I'd like you to move down to your feet.

and really scrunch up your feet. Just bring as much tension into your feet as you can. Tighten them, tighten them, tighten them. Let your toes curl in. Just hold that tension. Imagine all the things your feet have had to do today, all the standing, all the walking, all the being. And now let go and let your feet relax. Your feet are on vacation.

And now I'd like you to flex your calves. Let there be tension in your calves. Whether that's flexing your feet or pointing your toes, just let there be tension in your calves. They do so much work. Those muscles can get so tight. Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold. And now let them go. Let your calves go. Letting your calves relax completely. They too are on vacation.

Now tense up your thighs. Let your thighs be rigid and hard. Maybe stretch out your legs completely. Let all that tension be in there. You've carried some tension today. Let's let it be in your thighs. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Tighter, tighter, tighter. And now release. Letting go. Now bring your awareness to your butt and let your butt tense up. Let your buttocks get tight. Yes, holding your... Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

All the tension you've carried today, let it be in your butt and now let go. Good. And now bring your awareness to your back. Imagine tensing up your back. Every muscle in your back that you can engage right now, let it hold tight, tight, tight against the bed. All that tension you've carried in your back today, let it be in there and now release and let your back sort of melt into the bed.

Now let your belly tense up, your lower belly and even up into your chest. Let the whole front of your body squeeze and get tight. All the tension, the emotional tension you may have carried today, ways in which you've protected yourself or had to do work with the world gathering in your belly and your chest. Tight, tight, tight. And now let it go. That feels good.

Now I'd like you to bring your shoulders up towards your ears, tense up your shoulders, let them go up, raising up, getting tighter and tighter and tighter, holding, holding, holding all the tension in your shoulders. Let them be really, really tense. And now let go.

And now your arms, hold your arms. You might want to flex your biceps. Hold your arms really tight and tense. Let them get so strong, so tense, all that energy building in your arms. Yes, and now release. Now make fists with your hand. That might be tensing up your arms again. That's okay, but focus on your fists. Let your fists get really, really tight, really, really tight. You've been holding tension today, holding, holding, holding. You didn't even know you were doing it.

And now you release your fist, open your hands. Good. And it all flows out the palms of your hands. Now I'd like you to finally scrunch up your face. Let your whole face get scrunched up into a point right near your nose. All the muscles coming forward. Scrunching, scrunching, scrunching. Really scrunch it up good and tight. And let go.

As your head feels heavy on the bed, your arms feeling heavy on the bed, your whole torso feeling heavy and relaxed. And as your body is relaxing, your mind is relaxing. As your mind is relaxing, your body is relaxing. And as your body is relaxing, your mind is relaxing. And all the sounds around you

are taking you deeper and deeper. And even the sound of my voice is taking you deeper and deeper as you let go tonight, releasing into your own personal escape. Imagine you're lying on the grass somewhere. It's a late afternoon and you're lying on the grass, but you find that you're sinking just a bit. That the area you're lying on is sinking down.

making a little divot like your own personal little valley or gully in the grass. It's shallow, maybe just a foot or two beneath the rest of the activity of the earth, but you're in your own little private, cool, dark, and apart. All around you and above you, the world is continuing to function. People are at work,

interacting with one another, exploring their lives, solving problems, having adventures. Many of them are celebrating, learning, and growing. But just for now, you're lying down in your own little grassy divot, your own little depression in the earth, and you've slowed down. And your heart may feel like it's sinking a little in your chest, moving toward the earth.

Like it's moving down to touch the earth. Everything feels heavy. Although you feel relaxed in this place, your head is feeling heavy. Your arms and legs feeling heavy. You smell the earth around you and you feel slightly distant from the rest of the world. Like you're in your own separate place and still you see the people up above and around you doing things.

creating things, living their lives fully. But you are slowed down right now. The loss you've experienced has slowed you down and is pulling your heart toward the earth. And it's okay to feel slow. It's okay to feel up from things, separate from the hustle and bustle. It's natural to feel this way. And just like the blooming of a flower or the birth of a baby, loss is

is a natural thing and it's okay to feel it. This too shall pass. And although you may feel apart from the world, you are not in fact alone. As you hang out in your little valley, imagine the other people who are experiencing this same loss. Friends or family members who are feeling the exact same way. And imagine they are joining you now.

Lying down in this gully in the earth. Everyone slowing down. Everyone coming together. Bearing this heaviness together. And your heavy hearts connect with one another. Maybe you shed tears together. Your loss is bringing you closer. Because energy is neither created nor destroyed. It's simply changing.

and your loss is transforming into connection. Feel your connection with these other people and the sweetness of their grief. You are all in this together. And around the world tonight, millions of people are experiencing loss, feeling slowed down apart from the hustle and bustle of the world. Their hearts heavy down toward the earth.

Now imagine all these friends and family go into their own little divots in the earth, but you remain connected to them. And now you're alone again in your own little hollow. And now imagine the person whom you've lost is coming to join you in your little depression in the earth. And they're lying next to you, holding your hand as you connect with their essence.

their inner being. Notice how it feels. And now you turn to face one another. And as you face this person, all the good elements of your relationship are experienced. You feel all the love, all the good energy, because it's still here. And as it is exchanged between you, you allow the energy to come alive in you.

Because this relationship is alive in you. Your inner being doesn't understand time and space. So to your inner being, the relationship continues. And this feels very good. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It is simply changing into a new form. And you are now loving this person in a new way.

What do you imagine saying to this person? Let yourself say it. What do you need to thank this person for? Let yourself thank them. What do you imagine they need to say to you? Hear them say it. Now imagine embracing this person. Feel your connection as the energy of this relationship circulates through every single cell of your being.

and you take a nice deep breath and let it in. This relationship is alive as you learn to love this person in a new way, in a new way. And now as you continue to embrace your loved one, they soften and sort of dissolve into you, becoming a part of you that you carry inside. And you build this new relationship in your heart, loving them in a new way,

loving them in a new and slowly, slowly, slowly, your little hollow in the earth is beginning to flatten out just a little at a time, gently becoming level with the world inch by inch by inch. And soon you will be back on the same level as everyone else on the earth, participating

in life again. But you will be holding this person in your heart, loving them in a new way. And you may need to go back to your little hollow in the earth at times. And that's okay. You may need to feel a little apart from the world, cool and dark, with your heart tipping towards the earth. But for now, you are here in your bed,

Going deeper and deeper into relaxation as you drift and float and dream.