Addressing Self Worth
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Hi, I'm Jessica Porter, and welcome back to Sleep Magic, a podcast where I help you find the magic of your own mind, helping you to sleep better and live better. Thank you everyone for being here. Just want to say we've heard from people all around the world lately getting shout outs from South Africa and Sweden. Hello there, everybody. Thank you for your feedback.

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This offer ends August 19th. I'll see you over there at Sleep Magic Premium. Tonight, addressing self-worth. A listener named Sophie recently asked for an episode about self-worth, which I thought was an interesting idea. And it begs for a discussion about the idea of self-worth. Have a hard time with the concept of self-worth or deserving.

I'll tell you what I'm talking about. I remember listening to an interview once with a famous rapper who'd gone from dealing drugs on the street to making tens of millions of dollars doing music. At some point in the interview, and I'm paraphrasing here, the interviewer asked if it had been difficult to make the transition from relative poverty to that kind of wealth. And he answered that at first he didn't feel like he deserved that much money. And then he said,

But then I realized no one deserves that kind of money. And I loved hearing that because I think I understood what he meant. Like, what would one have to do to actually deserve $50 million? Save the planet? Invent the next internet? Be the next Nelson Mandela? Like, what kind of deserving matches $50 million? It's kind of difficult to answer.

And it got me thinking about deserving things or assessing one's self-worth. If we weigh everything that happens in our lives against some inner concept of deserving, it causes us to unconsciously assess everything that comes at us to see if it matches our inner sense of self-worth. If we don't feel we deserve something, we deflect it.

Or if we think we're super deserving, we develop a constant craving and sense of entitlement for what we feel we, quote, deserve. And we're often disappointed when the world doesn't deliver the thing that exactly matches our self-worth. And the other problem is that the feelings of self-worth and deserving change day to day, sometimes minute to minute. I mean, deserving is exhausting. Your self-worth is a moving target.

And it all becomes some private, invisible morality play. And I'm not so sure it needs to be. And I think that's what the rapper was saying. So let's turn this whole thing around. I believe that everyone brings worth and value to the world. I mean, hey, here you are. You made it to this lifetime as a human being, and you have enough energy to expend for several decades, maybe even a century.

There is an inherent wholeness and positive charge inside of you where you wouldn't be here. You contain love, enthusiasm, creativity, curiosity, ideas, as well as your unique talents. And all that positive energy is inherently valuable. However, things get in the way of that positive charge. Maybe you've been hurt.

or picked up lousy belief systems, or feel guilt or shame. And those things get in the way of the energy you are bringing to the world. That negative stuff distorts the signal you're putting out, or worse, muffles it altogether. And when your inner world feels muffled, then you feel bad and get into some story about deserving and self-worth. But your inherent value hasn't changed. It's just not being delivered to the world.

So that rapper, what he managed to do was send out clear signals and not interfere with his own talent. And those signals were considered valuable to many people who gave clear signals back to him. And when it came to receiving those clear signals in the form of dollars in his bank account, he just didn't get in the way of that either. No morality story was necessary. So tonight we get in touch with those signals you are here to put out into the world.

and clean them up. Personally, I don't think there's any need to be weighing and measuring your value or worth in the world. You are valuable. You are here to do you in your unique and wonderful way. So isn't it time you got out of your own way? Get yourself into a safe and comfortable position and let's begin. Allow your eyes to close easily and gently. Hello again. Just bring your awareness to your breath. Just let your breath be normal and natural, nothing fancy.

But your awareness is now focused on the breath. Because your awareness is focused on the breath, everything is becoming focused and slowed down. Good. Now I'd like you to bring your awareness up into your eyelids. And let's imagine that your eyelids are feeling loose and limp and relaxed. Heavy. Sleepy.

And now as you allow your eyelids to get heavier and heavier, I want you to accept the suggestion that your eyelids are so heavy, they simply won't open. And I know you know that this is just a game, that you could open your eyelids if you really wanted to, but for right now we're going to pretend that you can't. And I want you to test your eyelids by wiggling your eyebrows to prove that your eyes won't open. Good.

Now this heaviness, this wonderful heavy feeling you have in your eyelids is the same quality of relaxation you will soon have throughout your entire body. So let's just imagine that wonderful heaviness in your eyelids. Let's imagine it's spreading into your head. Just imagine that your head feels heavy, like your head is as heavy as a bowling ball sinking into the pillow.

The muscles of your face softening and letting go. Just imagine that heavy, relaxed energy moving inside your head. Just allow it to take over your whole brain. Just imagine it taking over every single cell of your brain. Everything is slowing down as all mental tension disappears.

And as your mind is relaxing, your body is relaxing. And as your body is relaxing, your mind is relaxing. And that wonderful warm heaviness is moving down into your neck, down into your shoulders. Just let your shoulders feel heavy. They're done for the day. Imagine the muscles of your shoulders softening and letting go.

and everything you've carried on those shoulders today, whether it's physical, emotional, or mental, it's all falling to the floor because you're allowed to let go when you sleep. We're all allowed to let go when we sleep. And you can trust your subconscious mind to work on things you need to handle in your sleep, but you don't need to think about them consciously. And everything that's fallen to the floor

You can pick it up tomorrow. For right now, you're going deeper and deeper into this delicious relaxation. As that heaviness moves down your arms, down into your hands and fingers. And your arms are feeling so heavy. Any tension that may have been hanging out in your head or neck or arms is moving out through the palms of your hands. Disappearing.

Your arms are on vacation. As you bring your awareness now to any sounds that may be going on around you, the world doesn't stop completely when we sleep. So as you open to those sounds, let them in and let the sounds you're hearing take you deeper and even deeper into relaxation. Sounds are simply vibrations.

As you allow the vibration of a sound to simply move through your body, you go deeper and deeper. And the sound of my voice is also a vibration taking you deeper and deeper. And soon my voice will sound far away or detached or make no sense because you're letting go on your own journey tonight as you take yourself deeper and deeper.

So let's imagine that wonderful relaxation that began up around your eyes. Let's imagine it moving down into your torso. Just allow your chest and upper back to sink and relax into the bed. Imagining that wonderful relaxation moving inside your chest as well. Like a mist of relaxation circling within you.

taking over your whole torso as it spirals down deep into your belly, your lower back, relaxing and letting go. Muscles in your abdomen, softening, relaxing, your breath sinking deeper into your body. As that wonderful warm heaviness moves down into your legs, all the way down into your feet and toes,

Your legs are feeling nice and heavy, like they're made of marble. And as your body is relaxing, it's relaxing. And as your mind is relaxing, your body is relaxing. Imagine now that you are in a museum. You're standing in a small room with a high ceiling. In the ceiling is a large hole through which a beam of sunlight

is shining. And sitting right in the beam of sunlight is a large blue velvet box. Clearly whatever is in this box is very valuable. So you're curious to see what's in it. But first, you reach out and touch the velvet case. Feel the softness of it. Notice its subtle shimmer in the sunlight. Even the box

is beautiful. Now lift the lid of the box. You see a huge diamond the size of a grapefruit, sparkling in the beam of sunlight. And the light is reflecting through the diamond. The diamond is cut perfectly with hundreds of tiny facets. You reach into the box and take the diamond.

And as you hold it, you feel the weight of it. It is large and valuable. And as you gaze into it, you are stunned by its clarity. As you watch the sunlight reflect and refract through this diamond, it amplifies the light. It sends shards of light in multiple directions all throughout the room.

This diamond is special because it sends energy into the world. It moves light into the world. So now I'd like you to imagine that you place this diamond inside your chest. And inside you it feels lighter than it did in your hands. Like it's floating inside of you. This diamond represents your energy.

in the world. Your love, your natural gifts, your creativity, enthusiasm, ideas, your spirit. You carry this diamond inside of you all the time. You always have and you always will. The diamond refracts and amplifies light through you. It feels wonderful to have this diamond inside of you.

Allow the light to move through you in all directions, sparkling on the walls of the museum. It's your job to allow this diamond to spark, to allow the light to move through it. But most of us have thoughts, feelings, or patterns of behavior that get in the way of the light shining through our diamonds. So let's discuss them. Maybe you feel

stressed out sometimes and that stress obscures the light moving through you. Too much stress can squeeze out love, hope, and creativity. But here in the museum, as you relax, going deeper and deeper, you notice that relaxation is allowing the light to shine fully through your diamond. You notice that there's a pocket

In the lid of the velvet box you found the diamond in, reach into this pocket and you pull out a piece of red velvet cloth. And now you take that piece of velvet and polish the diamond. Polish it so that all stress falls away. It feels good to shine your diamond. And as you polish it, more light is shining through. I am committed to relaxation.

I am committed to relaxation. I am committed to relaxation. As you go deeper and deeper, what are some other ways you may get in the way of your diamond? Do you have belief systems that work against you? Maybe you believe that this whole diamond thing is too simple or childish. Perhaps you believe that if you shine,

You take away the ability of others to shine. Maybe you think there isn't enough room for you to shine or that it will make you vulnerable to criticism or jealousy. Perhaps you think your family might reject this diamond. What belief systems do you have that are in the way of your diamond shining fully? Now take your velvet cloth and slowly and carefully polish away

all negative belief systems. I commit to supporting my diamond. I commit to supporting my diamond. I commit to supporting my diamond. As you go deeper and deeper and the diamond shines even brighter. Are there other ways you may be getting in the way of your diamond? Do you experience shame sometimes?

Perhaps there have been experiences or moments in your life that caused you to feel shame. Notice as you gaze upon your diamond and look closely for evidence of shame. Perhaps your diamond has tiny nicks in it or flaws. Perhaps there are facets that look dark and unable to reflect light. That's okay. As you gaze deep into the center

of your diamond. You see that it is perfect at its center. It always has been and always will be. Your inner being is whole and shines brightly. So you pick up your red velvet. It has magical properties and can fix anything on your diamond. Slowly, lovingly, one thing at a time, allow your red velvet cloth to repair

your diamond, even if the cloth needs to reach inside the diamond. It does that. As your cloth repairs the diamond, you say to yourself, I commit to healing. I commit to healing. I commit to healing. As you go deeper and deeper and your diamond is shining so brightly. Good. Do you feel

guilt sometimes. Maybe you've made mistakes that you feel bad about. Maybe you're carrying the guilt of others. Maybe you feel guilty about letting your diamond shine. Look to see if guilt obscures any facets of your diamond, dulling its shine or distorting its signals. And as you pick up your velvet cloth, you begin polishing away

the guilt. Perhaps you need to apologize to someone or return something you borrowed and never gave back. And as you polish your diamond, you become willing to make the repairs you need to make in your life. I commit to living in integrity. I commit to living in integrity. I commit to living in integrity. As you go deeper,

and even deeper. You are accepting this diamond inside of you, honoring it. You realize it has always been here and always will be, and you determine how much you let it shine. When you are caring and tender with yourself, it shines brighter. When you are caring and tender with others, it shines brighter. When you give yourself

good nourishment, physical, emotional, and spiritual nourishment, it shines brighter. When you express your innate and talents, it shines brighter. When you tell your truth, it shines brighter. When you behave with integrity, it shines brighter. When you help others, it shines brighter. As you go deeper,

and even deeper. You place the red velvet in your pocket and close the blue velvet box. The diamond is inside of you now and no one and no thing will ever get between you and it ever again. The sunlight has turned to moonlight now and the room is even darker than before. You notice a big comfortable bed in the middle of the room.

So you lie down, close your eyes, as the diamond sparkles inside of you.