Meredith Duxbury On Breakup Speculation & Inspiring Selena Gomez
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Hey guys!

Hey guys!

Oh, what is... And then people say Duxbury in England. But it's like honestly either way. Duxbury. That sounds cute. I like that. Yeah, Duxbury, Duxbury, whatever. You're born in England, right? Yeah. Oh my God. But no accent. So I moved to the US when I was five. Okay. So my accent's gone. My brother has his accent and my dad has his accent.

And your mom? My mom's American. My sister, her accent's gone too. Wow. Yeah, people like never believe me when I'm like, I was born in England. They're like, but you're so American. Yeah. I know. Even people who come here at like two, I feel like have accents. I know. That's crazy. I don't know. I just, I guess because you're thrown into school with like a bunch of other kids. Right. And then you like kind of pick up on that.

that. Oh my gosh. How did you, when you came here, do you remember the transition like when you first got here? I was so young. I don't really remember that much. Yeah. I just remember my mom always told me like when I was in school, I'd say like these little British things like, and the teachers would be like, what is she saying? Like when my mom would pick me up from school, they'd be like, she was saying this, but we didn't really like understand. I

So like little things like that. Were you saying like, let's get in the queue for the bathroom? Or like hot lunch. And they'd be like, what is that? What is that? Hot lunch is like. It's like the, when you go and get like the. The cafeteria. The cafeteria food. And you'd be like, what's a hot lunch? That is so funny. And what are they called? Bathrooms. Lou? The Lou, yeah. Oh my God. That's so, I love the whole English slang. I think it's. Me too. Can you put on an accent now? Like if you were to audition for something. I just sound like if I were an American trying to put on. Really? Yeah. Like there's no, there's no British accent there.

Oh my God. I feel like you should go on TikTok one day and just start being in a British accent. Imagine. And then people look it up and they're like, oh no, she's actually British. I know. I feel like some people can train themselves to have the accent again. Yeah. There are Americans who will go live in London for a while and they'll come back with a British accent. Very Madonna. Yeah. I feel like she's like that too. Yeah.

I'm like that too. I go, I was over there for like two weeks for Big Brother and I feel like I started talking like them. Right. I love the accent. I think that's a cool accent. And you like pick up kind of like the different tones they use, the different sayings. Yeah. I love it. And their sayings are just cute. I don't know. They're like lovely. Yeah. The way they say things is just more, yeah, cute. I know. I love it.

Have you gone back a lot? Yeah. So all my cousins on my dad's side are over there. I'm actually going back this summer to the countryside to see them. I love London. So I'm actually going to London in a few weeks. But I love going back there. It just feels like a second part of my home because I did grow up there until I was five and –

I have family over there. So I love going back. And you're like born there. It's like in your blood and stuff like that. Do you keep up with like the royal family and all that? I do, but I feel like there's so much going on recently. So much. I don't know. I don't know. It's so mainstream over here now. I'm like, when did we like care so much about them? I feel like we care so much more than like, I feel like we care more about like,

the gossipy drama and then England's like actually cares about the like the politics politics and we're just like yeah we want to know no for real I read Harry's book and I know nothing about it I just want to know the gossip and the tea I know um okay well let's talk about you um so you obviously TikTok star but I saw yesterday that you started on YouTube um yeah I did like technically yeah technically I did which is funny you're saying that because I'm like wait did I and I'm like yeah I did so you started in like high school I

I read an article and you're like, it was the most embarrassing thing in my life when a student, like someone else found out that you did it. So awkward. Yeah. Wait, why? You were like not proud of your content? Well, it was like a senior and I was like a freshman. And I was doing like DIY Scrabble rings. And I had just come out of middle school. So I was doing all of those like YouTube, like girly trend DIY things. And...

I feel like people don't understand those things unless you're in the YouTube community, like the Bethany Moda, Meredith Foster era. Oh, I love that era so much. I love that you know that. Yeah. So I was doing like the what's in my bag, all of that stuff. And as like a guy senior, they would not understand. They'd just be like, what is a DIY Scrabble ring? I don't even know what that is. Is it from the Scrabble board? Yeah. Oh, I don't remember those. And you would get like wire and make a ring out of it. Oh my God, that's

everything I didn't know. It was fun. But like they found the page and I was like oh my god like this is so embarrassing. And you were like a middle schooler. Yeah. And they're a senior in high school that found this. Yeah. What were they even doing anyways? Searching. Yeah. So what happened? What did you just delete everything? Yeah I just deleted it. Oh my gosh. Or like put my page on private.

sad. I know. And like the one thing I always want to tell people is like it's so much easier to say it than to actually do it. But like don't care what other people think because say I didn't get a second chance with TikTok. Maybe that YouTube channel was my you know my platform that was going to take off. Right. Especially young and now you're being a model now. It's like you could start modeling at like 14 or something like that. Yeah. So it's like you can't let those people's opinions get in your way because there's always going to be people who hate you and say stuff. Like if I listen to the

hundreds of people who were like oh my god you're wearing way too much foundation maybe I wouldn't be here if I shut my channel down after the first viral foundation video that is so true because that is like what you're known for is just like layers of foundation which have you are you still doing that technique now so I stopped for a while because I was like trying to do more of the fashion and luxury beauty stuff yeah um so I kind of had to like put that as like a backseat and focus on

not like rebranding, but adding in like more of the natural makeup and showing that I can diversify myself. And now that I've done that, I'm like, okay, I can bring that fun back into it and do it for fun on TikTok. But I really enjoy doing natural makeup. Like, as you can see, I literally, I don't even have mascara on. It's just like a new thing that I'm trying out. It's fun. And I wore full glam makeup for three years, every single day. Like whether I like

had somewhere to go or not I was filming content every day so I'm like okay this is fun to like try a different makeup look it looks so and you really did transition so big you know like it's such a huge transformation like just not just the red hair but the clean but I love clean girl makeup because I can't do my makeup I always have a makeup artist but I love this that we don't have to do like the liner and the curling the lashes and all that but like it's it's fun for sure but

But the full glam, it's like an art to me. And I love sitting down and doing the colorful makeup. But it takes hours. Really? It's not, yeah. Like how long does it take you to do a full where you're doing all the foundation, all the? I would say like two hours. Wow. Yeah. And you would do it even if you're not going anywhere? Yeah.

well for filming just for filming yeah and then what you just take it off after you're like yeah then i would film another video like taking the makeup off where did it start the like layer like the pumps of foundation so i had always hated my freckles like it was something that was so insecure about and i remember when i was in college i was washing my beauty blender out and there were just like gobs globs of foundation like coming out into the sink and i was like

Oh, my God. And I was using the Becca Cosmetics foundation. It was $55. Oh, my gosh. And I would, like, use my grocery money I had for the week to buy the foundation. And I was like, I can't do this. Like, I'm a broke college student. I can't be, like, wasting this much foundation because I saw it all coming out of the beauty blender. I was like, this is not okay. Wow. So I was like, I'm going to use my hands. It's not going to absorb any of the foundation. And the warmth of my hands will blend it in. And everybody always says...

that Pat McGrath and all of the like most respected makeup artists use their hands and that's the way that they do makeup so I was like okay I'm gonna try it out yeah and I kind of ended up doing it like a more aggressive way like

literally rubbing it all over my face instead of like a little. Well, keep pat. And it worked out. I actually really liked it. And that was before I started TikTok. So people always say to this day, like she does that technique for views and she wipes it all off after. And there's no way she actually does that. But I started the technique before I even got on TikTok. You were actually doing that in your real life. Wow.

And so then when I got onto TikTok and I was just like doing my makeup, people were like, what is this technique she's doing? Yeah. And I didn't realize it was weird. So I was like, why are people freaking out that I'm doing my makeup like this? It's just regular. It was just like accidental for you. You're just like, oh, this is like, yeah. Exactly. But that's the thing I always say to people is if you want to...

kind of go viral on TikTok or make a platform for yourself, then you need to go in with just like a passion. Don't go in thinking, how am I going to go viral? How am I going to get my video to blow up? Because that's when it's stressful and that's when it's not fun. You need to go in just truly being yourself and having a passion and people will pick up

the little things about you that are unique instead of you coming to the platform like okay how can I be different how can I make myself so well like I didn't get on the platform how can I make myself different I just got on there and did my own thing yeah it happened to be like a weird thing that people isn't that crazy too how they pick up on it because it is something that you wouldn't think of and but they pick up on the sincerity of it too because I think it would just be like exhausting to try and be like anyone else too like just to like make up that technique and not do it that would be like insane imagine

Imagine wiping that all off every single time. Right, like in between steps. There's no way. Yeah. That is actually kind of wild to think about because did you ever start amping it up then once you went viral where you're like, okay, I'm going to just start going a little crazy with this? Sometimes, yeah, just for like the wow effect. But the 10 pumps is really true. Like I would use 10 pumps. Always Becca. Always.

Yeah, well, I did Becca and then they discontinued it. Oh my God. Yeah, and I was like, oh God. After you were doing the TikToks? Yeah. Oh, that's so weird. You would think they would just be like, let's pay more. I was like, this is the perfect moment for you guys to hone in on this and kind of make it a thing. But yeah, they went out of business, discontinued. What? Yeah. Becca Cosmetics out of business? Yeah, I think they only have their Champagne Pop highlighter maybe. That's the only thing I remember from them. But a brand bought it, I think. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. I don't want to say Tarte. Maybe it is. I don't know. Some brand bought it and like – But it's not Becca Champagne because it was not like Jaclyn Hill, right? She did that. That's what I remember from it. Yeah. Like Becca Cosmetics, this is nothing anymore. Oh my gosh. That's like news to me. That's crazy. I know, right? So then I switched over to Huda Beauty. Okay. And that foundation is so full coverage. Like for this technique, you need a full thick foundation. It's hard to find. I know. I love a thick foundation. What's your favorite?

I've been using the Mario lately. Okay. And I've been, oh, Fenty because it's matte. Yeah. I like Fenty. But I told you before we started, I was just like, I'm so not like, I love makeup. I love getting it done, but I like can't do my own. And I tried your technique before. I know. I'm like, let me try this. When you posted my technique, I was like, I literally died. Really? I was like, oh my God, my life is complete. Oh my God. I feel like I was so late to the trend and so many bigger celebrities have tried it. Oh my God. Who was the biggest celebrity where you're like, I can't believe they tried this? Selena Gomez. Oh, I saw that clip of her being like, my favorite Tik Tok

TikToker? I don't know. And she said your like last name, full name. I was like, no. I couldn't believe it. In like a room full of people too. She's the sweetest human. Had you met her prior to that? Yeah, I'd met her at a few of her like launch events for Rare. Wow. Yeah, she's so sweet. How she just like remembered you because I see people

Yeah.

the videos like you're actually watching them no it is crazy and I saw Mario do it too and I was just like okay makeup by Mario's doing it like that's insane and then we kind of like leaned into it and I went and collabed with him in his studio and it was like this whole fun thing what is it were you like in like I'm celebrity obsessed right so if like a Selena Gomez said like knew who I was I would die like were you so were you obsessed too yes and I didn't

I wasn't the first to find out. Like I was just on my TikTok on my videos and all of my comment section was Selena Gomez said you're her favorite TikToker. And I was like, guys, where are you finding this information? Yeah, this is, these are the spam accounts. So then I went to my mentions and I saw, and I was like, everyone around me, I was like, guys, you're not going to.

You can't believe what just happened. Did you, like, reach out to her, like, DM? Like, thanks, girl. Yeah, I think I did. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, thank you so much. You're so sweet. No, she's queen. She's icon for sure. She is the best. I love her. But it was truly, like, that was a moment in my career where I was like, wow. Like, I grew up watching her on Disney Channel. Like, me and my brother and my sister would sit after school, like, watching Wizards of Waverly Place. And you're like, she knows me? Yeah, and I'm like, what? Like, never in a million years could I –

think or even imagine that she would even know my name, my full name. That's pretty big. I mean, Selena Gomez is like as big as you can get. She's like the most followed on Instagram or one of the most followed. But she's so humble too. She's just such an icon and she like casually was just like, yeah, I like Meredith Duxbury. I'm like, what? What?

That was crazy. And she said it so fast and so quick. I know. When you're like around like Mari or all these people, do you feel – do you get nervous? Are you always like, okay, what am I doing? Or do you feel like, okay, comfortable, like I feel not nervous? I definitely get nervous like going into it. But then when I'm sitting down with them, they're just like human like the rest of us. Yeah.

I'm there to also learn from him. And I think he's so iconic and he's so well-respected in the community. And it's just such an honor to be able to sit down with him and be able to do makeup with him. So it's like the nerves go away once I'm sitting there and I'm like, wow, like we're kind of connecting on this similar interest. And yeah, you kind of like...

think to yourself, there's nothing really to be nervous about. That's amazing because I think I would still – if I ever meet a celebrity, I could still get very nervous. Or even TikTokers like yourself. I'm like you. I get nervous beforehand. I was like, oh my gosh, okay. They don't know me. I don't know them. Is it going to vibe? But then when you meet them in person, they're like, yeah. You're like, oh. You were such a surprise. You're so sweet and so down to earth because you are –

Like literally a runway model now. And I'm just like, you're just so sweet. And you're just like putting on your own lips and doing your own touch-ups. I was like, I love this for you. That's the one thing. It's like, I would say...

Sometimes I can come off as more shy because I can get nervous. I'm more of an introvert. Wait, introvert means you like... You like to be, yeah. You like your alone time. You like your alone time, but it's surprising because you're such an extrovert in the sense you're out there. Exactly. I'm an Aquarius, so I'm kind of an introvert and an extrovert at the same time. I love my alone time, but then I also need...

social energy and need to be around people. It's like a very weird balance. Yeah. And so when you meet people, you're more introverted because you're like... At first, yes. And so that can come off to people as like, oh, like she's not nice or whatever because I'm like a little more shy or I'm not the first person to be like, oh my God, how...

Hi, like nice to meet you. And they would think that based on your bubbly personality on TikTok. And in some situations I will be the first to be like, oh my God, hey, like how are you? But if I feel nervous or uncomfortable or I'm in a situation where I don't know the room or I've just never been like around that group of people, like I can kind of maybe come off more closed off because I'm nervous or shy. And that's like the worst thing. I hate that because I'm –

I'm a nice person. Right. And I. That's where I am. But when you come. I know what you mean. And people expect you. Because you are their star. Right. To come in and just be so. Yeah. You almost have to turn it on. Like for me. I'm like. I have to turn on this character. Because I'm so introverted too. Yeah. And so when it like. Comes time to go. I'm like. I'm going to turn on Trisha. You know. You have to. Because people expect a lot.

from you and they they put you here and you can walk in and be shy and they're gonna be like oh yeah this is a different girl also just because we were talking about your tiktok persona being so bubbly like you're so very you know girl next door friendly like just girls girls so people are expecting that yeah and that's how i am like when i when i get to meet people but at first like i would definitely say i can be a little more shy depending on the person or the room i'm in

Well, you don't know too. Sometimes I always think like I don't want people to think I'm always need to be center of attention. So I try to be like a little more reserved. Exactly. So they don't think like, oh, this influencer thinks she's like everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's a balance. It's so hard to find. It is. And when you just meet people, you just don't know their vibe or anything like that.

Exactly. But I love your TikToks. Like you do a lot of makeup and you're very bubbly on there. There was one I saw at the beginning of this year where you talk about like, you're very open about like mental health actually, which I didn't know. I didn't, because again, looking at you or just like what you put out there, it's very just like makeup and pretty girl and all this stuff like that. But you were talking about how you get like seasonal depression. Like you're like after January 1st, I get sad and I have a really good life and I feel bad for

complaining. What in those moments, like, do you feel like vulnerable? Are you like, okay, this is important. I need to share this. Or are you like, maybe I shouldn't post this? I think both. It's really hard when

You're privileged and you live a life that everybody, you know, looks at and is like, I want to live like that. And it can be hard to sit there and complain when you look around and you're like, wow, I have such an amazing life. Like, I'm not in the place to complain right now. But also, I feel like I have a duty to my audience to be real and be honest. Like, hey, this is how I'm feeling. It's normal. It's okay. I'm sure a lot of other people feel like that too. And I think it's important to share that because...

I want to have somebody that I can look up to and be like, you know what? Yeah, you can relate to that person. And it makes you feel more comfortable too when somebody else is in the same situation as you. So when I shared that, I just – I really took my time in explaining how I felt and explaining like, yes, I am in a very –

It's an amazing situation in life, and I'm very honored to be able to live like this, but it is okay to have these feelings, and it's normal. It's like I'm a human being just like everyone else, and I'm not going to shut those feelings down, and there are a lot of other people who feel like that too. Did you find the response to be positive? Yeah. That's amazing. I did, and I think it's because the way I –

told my story and I said listen like I am so grateful to be in the situation that I'm in but there are days where I feel like this and people are like thank you for acknowledging that like you live a very privileged life but also

being able to still say your feelings and we relate to you on that so right because I feel like you do you have such a great life like it looks so fabulous right so when you have those moments of like vulnerability it could go one of two ways right people are like okay this girl complaining she's like on billboards and all stuff like that but I think like you said people

I know I was like, oh, I totally respect this. And that same TikTok you talked about being diagnosed with extreme ADHD, which is like something I didn't know. Does that affect you in your day to day? So for, I feel like for this career, it actually is not as bad. Like when I was in school, it was really, really bad. It would be like,

my memory was bad. Like my focus was bad. It was just like terrible. Um, my grades were terrible until I started, um, ADHD medication and like my junior year of high school. Wow. Yeah. It took that long. Yeah. It took that long because I didn't, yeah, I didn't go for ADHD testing until like my junior year of high school. What was the,

Did someone tell you you should do that or how did you figure it out? My grades were just so bad. And I was like, I'm literally not going to go to college if I don't like figure this out. You're like, I'm not dumb. So what is like happening? It was just like my memory was bad and I couldn't focus. And like if I was reading, I couldn't take in the information. Like I would just be so distracted. Like the words wouldn't kind of like register in my head. Yeah.

You weren't like comprehending what you were reading. And if I had to read a paragraph, I would have to read it like five times over to like actually understand. Oh, gosh. Yeah. So I was like, mom, like this is not, this is not working. That's so scary. And I feel like, I mean, you're a lot younger than me, but even back then, I feel like it just wasn't talked about like it's talked about now. It wasn't.

So yeah, I went and got ADHD testing. It was like this whole two-day thing. And then they put me on ADHD medication, which then my grades were straight A's. Yeah, straight A's. Wow. Yeah. But the side effects of the medication was so terrible. What was happening? Like could not sleep at all. Like would be up till 4 a.m. and would have to get up for school at 7. Wow.

would be running off no sleep when the medication would wear off like I'd be crying migraines you would not eat a thing so like imagine if you don't eat all day you get in like the worst mood you get a headache you're like mean to people you're snappy like that's how it was every day oh gosh just like with my family I'd come home and be like don't talk to me like I'd go to my room I would be like crying with a huge migraine just like coming down from the medication and then to do my homework I'd have to take another four hour pill to do the homework but

So it was like I was just pumped up on this like ADHD medication. And then how do you sleep on that? You know what I mean? Well, what is the solution? Did you're like, I have to just keep taking this pill? I just kept taking it. Yeah. And then it like the side effects got so bad. I went to college and then you're like drinking in college. You're not allowed to drink on the medication. So you have to like plan out your studying and when you're hungover. And it's just like it was the worst thing ever. And then I started getting like more serious like symptoms.

not fun side effects um that I was like okay I just like decided to take myself off of it and I was like I'd rather get bad grades than have these side effects so it was just too much for you to take it was just too much is there like alternatives now like maybe like lower dosages or something so people aren't feeling that yeah I was on 50 milligrams of Vyvanse and I think the highest is like 70 so that's a lot for like a girl my age yes um

And then also taking like the four hour pill in the afternoon too. But I don't know. It's just like you build up such a tolerance being on it for so many years. I guess like I'd have to just like take a month off and then restart it. But there's, I don't know, there's really no alternative. So I was like, it's either I'm going to be on the medication or I'm not going to be on it. Wow. Yeah. So, and like I was starting to have like heart problems. Like my, I would get like chest pains and like.

It just like there wasn't a lot of research about Vyvanse. It was such a new drug. So the doctor prescribing was like, I would like try and just find ways to learn how to work with your ADHD rather than to just keep taking it because there's not a lot of research about it anyway. So it was nice that I had a doctor that was kind of like,

not pushing it on me like you should take this you should take it he was like I would try and get off of this as soon as you can so yeah I just went off of it and it was a lot harder I had to go for like extra help for studying and really put a lot of work into it right um

But it was worth it because I didn't have those terrible side effects. So that's so interesting. So the alternative for you then was just like going and get the extra help for it. Yeah. And how do they like – I mean that's like – because it's really your chemical imbalance, right? So how do they rewire it to like so you can actually read a book and like –

Or is it still a struggle? It was still a struggle, yeah. It was just like a tutor trying to help me with math, but it wasn't somebody who could change the way I process information. And did you finish college then? Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. I finished. I graduated. Oh, wow. It was nice that the classes were online because it kind of gave me more time to be able to study and –

work in my own space. That is amazing that you had to like deal with all that and like have to like learn how to learn basically and still complete college. Yeah. That's amazing. I did not finish college for that reason. Yeah. Like it's too hard. It's hard but I'd say now with this career since it's such a creative space I can really create my own schedule and I don't I'm not doing math obviously so it's

It's easier. That's great. That's great. Math is not my forte either. Yeah. But you still have to like have your routine and your schedule and hold yourself accountable for creating content. And there's a lot of stuff you have to do. You're in contract with brands. You can't just be like, oh, I'll do it in three days. Like, no, they need the due date then. So you have to still have a schedule for yourself. And are you able to do that by yourself? Yeah. That's amazing. I mean, I have an assistant who helps me with my schedule and stuff. Yeah.

I mean, that's also good as an influencer that you know that because I feel like there's so many brands that will like be like every time I get it in on time, like thank you for getting it on time. Like what's the other option? But they're like people just don't do it for like weeks or months. They just like don't respond. Isn't that crazy? I guess it is. Yeah. It's just like there's two types of people, I guess, that know what a deadline is and then the people who don't care. Yeah. Well, that's amazing. Yeah. So when you're doing your own scheduling and stuff like that for your TikToks, like you were doing six to eight TikToks a day, which you're not doing that now, right? No. When did you stop that?

I think when COVID stopped. Okay. Okay. So you're like, now we're getting back into the real world. How were you balancing TikTok and college? Because you were doing it around the same time. Yeah. It was definitely hard. Like it was my ex-boyfriend helped me a lot during and it was like my family helped. I needed the extra support for sure. But I had more time because everything was online. So deadlines weren't as strict and...

I wasn't really working with brands as much as I am now. It was kind of just like my own content. So now there's a lot more into the mix. Yeah, they put forth. It was definitely hard to juggle just because there was a lot going on. But it was fine. I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh my God, it was so hard. There are people who...

like work like three jobs and have kids and they're like a single mother. And I'm like, right. I mean, there's different levels of hardness, but yeah, I know what you mean for sure. Um, so yeah, you're very open about the mental health. Also, you're kind of, you don't share too much of your personal life online, but obviously everyone, you just mentioned your ex-boyfriend, everyone's been asking, everyone's wanted to know in the comments, but you haven't said anything about it. I just feel like for me, there's a way where I have to kind of talk about it

in a way that I'm also respecting his privacy in his life too. And I think it's hard on both of us. Um, but for me, it was really just about codependency. And I feel like that's something that a lot of people don't realize that they are so codependent on somebody else until you kind of take yourself outside of the situation. You're like, wow, like

I can't make this decision without asking the other person, like, what do you think of this? Or even just like ordering at a restaurant, like, should I get that? Or should I get this? Or I don't know. There's just so many situations where I felt like I couldn't rely on myself. And I used to be so independent. Like growing up, my dad was like a military dad for like 20 years in the army. So like, it was very like, you're on your own. Obviously, my parents are amazing. But like,

I kind of grew up doing like my own, just being very independent. So having somebody that would do everything for me and help me with every single little thing in my life, it was amazing. But also at the same time, I just felt like I didn't do anything for myself anymore. I wasn't held accountable to like make my own decisions. Something that you were used to. Yeah. And you like doing. Yeah. And also I feel like I really didn't,

know how to enjoy my own alone time, which is something that I've always struggled with. And I think that's really important to learn before you get older. And then it's like,

you're going to have kids and you're going to get married. And then it's like, you're never going to learn that. Yeah. And learn yourself too. I think that's so important. I met him when I was 21. I was in college still. And I'm such a different person now. And I just feel like I haven't gotten to explore the person that I am alone. Yeah. And there are times where I'm just like by myself. I'm like, wow, this is so uncomfortable. I hate this. I'm like, that's not normal. You should want to have, like, you should be comfortable in your alone time. Mm-hmm.

And read a book, listen to a podcast, go to a workout class alone. There's so many times where it's like, I feel awkward going to the gym by myself. I feel uncomfortable doing this by myself. Like I would never go to a restaurant and eat dinner or lunch by myself. And I'm like, I need to learn how to enjoy my alone time and not be dependent on somebody else. And how has, how did you learn that? Like, do you go out to eat by yourself? Have you done that? Like I'll go to, I'll go to yoga class by myself. I did that when I was still dating him, but like,

I feel more comfortable doing it. Yeah. Like as you do more, you get more comfortable doing it. Just the main thing is like being in your house by yourself. You're like in this big city alone as a 25-year-old and you're just like – Oh my god. I can't imagine. Yeah. In New York. But that should like feel normal. Right. And it doesn't. I'm like – I don't know. But I think so many people struggle with that too. So what was it like the first – so the first time you're like alone, you're like in your apartment and it's like silent. Do you have any animals? I have two dogs. Oh, that's great.

You have the big ones, right? Yeah. But so they went back home to my dad's house because I'm here. So they were there for the week. So before I came, my flight was in the morning. The night before it was me by myself, no dogs. It was so quiet. Oh my gosh. And I was like, whoa, this is weird. But it also was so nice. I'm like,

I don't know the last time I was alone in my own apartment. Like, yes, maybe in a hotel room or this or that in another country. But like in my city where I live, in my house by myself, no dogs, just myself. And I was like-

like, I need to learn how to like this. And you did. You were like, this is nice. I did. I ordered myself food. I watched Sex and the City and it was great. Oh my gosh. That's amazing. Yeah. It is so hard. I lived alone like for like 12 years of my life and I just like can never find that internal happiness being alone. I was just like, I'm so alone. It was so awful. But then yeah, you get married, you have kids and it's like there's

There's no alone time. No. And you're like, wow, like I miss that. Yeah, especially in your 20s. I feel like that's such a big thing. Exactly. In your career. Yeah. And I feel like I didn't give myself the opportunity to kind of know who I am as a person living in New York City by myself as a single person. And I think that's important to –

feel and to know before you get into a relationship and get married and then have kids. It's like you want to be able to have that time to yourself in your 20s and just like going out with your friends. I would, I like wouldn't hang out with

my friend said, hang out with the same people every weekend. There would be new people who would DM me on Instagram like, hey girl, like love your content. Let's go get dinner. And I would just like be like, yeah, but I would never do it. Would you do it now? Yeah. I've been doing it. No. Oh my God. How's that going? That would scare me. No, I know. But it's like so exhilarating because like, I mean, you know, the person from social media, but I don't know. And I was like random person. You're like, I'll hang out with you. I'm like, sure, let's do it. But I think it's so important to get outside of your comfort zone.

And meet different people. Yeah. Because when you're in a relationship, you hang out with the same people. You do the same thing. Like, yes, we traveled a ton and we did a bunch of different things. And you like work together kind of, right? Yeah. Because he helped you with your TikToks. But I don't know. I just wouldn't challenge myself to do things like that. Yeah. If somebody was like, hey, let's get dinner. And you're like, okay. I'd be like, I'd rather just sit inside with –

my boyfriend and my dogs. Interesting. Yeah, that is such an interesting cycle. And now that you're doing that, you just feel more like you're living life. You're knowing who you are. It just feels free, yeah. And I'm just meeting people that maybe I would have never met. And it just feels good. I just feel like I'm exploring different parts of my life that I didn't explore before. And that's so good to know at your age too. It's like in your 20s, that's where you know. Do you feel like

people speculating and you not like do you feel like you owe people something like um like an explanation yeah sometimes I do but also at the same time um it's my private life and you don't owe anybody anything about your private life um there are a lot of people who were invested in our relationship but like I'll talk about it more when I'm ready I guess um

But I just feel like it takes people time and you want to respect the other person's privacy too. It's hard. I would imagine it's hard to be an influencer dating like both on both sides, his side and your side. And they're just like – they dig into his life. They dig into my life and it's like –

I don't know. They just make up rumors and this and that. And it's like, it takes a toll. Right. Like, okay. Like there was one year, I think your tagged photos, like this could be your POV. And everyone's like, oh, but who is she with? You know, like who's on the other side? Someone took that photo, you know? So it's like literally my lawyer. I love that. People are like, oh, she's with someone new already. And it's just like, I literally texted my lawyer. I was like, should I post this? What should I put the caption? He's like, could be your POV. Oh, I love it. He came up with captions for you. No, he's like, I'm your breakup doula.

I'm like, yes. I love that. Is that a real thing? I think there should be. There should be. So you're doing okay with it. Yeah. It's just hard, I think, with social media, like seeing all those comments too. I just imagine it'd be like super hard. It's also so weird. Like people will DM me and be like, I'm so sorry. Like you're going to get through this. Like,

Oh, my God. And I feel like a lot of the time in this situation, people expect the girl to be broken up with and they feel so bad for you. And it's like there has been two people who are like, congratulations. And I feel like there's a lot of the time people are like, I'm so sorry. Like, I'm so sorry that happened to you. And I'm like, why are you immediately like speculating that I'm the one that like... Got broken up with. Yeah. You're the victim. You're broken hearted. Yeah. And that's also the hard part about telling my...

story about this on TikTok is like a lot of girls who tell their story, they got to get on TikTok and they're upset and they're crying and they're telling the story about how they got broken up with. In this situation, it's different. I can't, it just feels wrong getting on TikTok being like, I broke up with, yeah, it just feels like insensitive. And so I'm just like trying to figure that out because I haven't really seen many people post like

I broke up with my boyfriend. I don't think I've seen anyone ever do that. But like in a way it is also just good because it sounds like, you know, the reasoning is like really just wanting to find your own space. You know what I mean? It's not like anyone did anything wrong. And like I have so much love and respect for him still. Like we were together for four years. Yeah.

And there's just like no hard feelings that I wish him the best. And I wish that, you know, we could be friends and he loves my dog so much. And I don't want to like rip that from him. I just think there needs to be time to heal. Because when you're in a relationship for four years, that's a long time. That is a long, especially at that age too. It's like you're bonded so quickly. Yeah. And it was a COVID relationship. So it was like we spent every single day together, like pretty much moved in together, like the second, you know, we knew each other. That's how it happened in COVID. I feel like so many couples were

like that. Yeah. So, you know, I just, it's hard because I don't really know how to go about telling my audience because they are all questioning. Every time I'm on live, they're like, what's the story? Like, I'm like, guys, give me a second. Isn't that crazy too that they are like in a good way, but that they know so much. Cause like, you know, you just post cute makeup, fashion, all that stuff like that. And it's like, they're like, okay, but we haven't seen him in a while. You know? I know. Even like before we broke up, they're like, she doesn't post it.

I'm like, I share so much of my life. If there's one thing I want to be private is like just my significant other and my family. Like there's just some part of this life that needs to feel like it's your own and not shared with the whole world. It is such a big...

balancing act, right? Because it's like you want to show when you're happy and in love. But I know I saw Alex recently said like she had her boyfriend on TikTok and no one had seen him for a while. They're like, we're still together like just because you haven't seen us. You know what I mean? It's like so weird you have to even say that really. People can make stuff up so quickly. Yeah. Would you have your next relationship at all be out there? Would you ever show him again like if you dated someone? I think it just depends like if the person's already out there like in the... Entertainment world. In the entertainment world. Like...

I don't people catch on so easily. So I'm not I'm not going to jump on it and be like, oh, my God, like, here's my new boyfriend. I think it's just like whatever feels natural. Yeah. So you're not shut off from it. Yeah. I'm not going to like try so hard to keep my life a secret, but I'm also not going to be like, OK, like this is my new boyfriend. You know, I think there's just a balance of like living your life. And if people find out, they find out. If not, if not.

That's a good way to look at it rather than being like, no, never again. Because so many people are just like so shut off from it, you know? Yeah. And I don't want to say that and then people would be like, she said she wasn't going to. It'll happen. I always say one thing and then it comes back and bites you in the butt a couple years later. So I'm just, I'm always open to anything. Like whatever happens, happens. You're really big into, I saw your first runway was September of 2023, right?

I think so. Was it last year? Was it? Right? Yeah. I read it. And then I saw, cause I read an article first and you're like, I really want to walk a runway. And I was like, she hasn't. I felt like I've seen it. And then I saw it and I was like, oh, the article was like a couple months before. And then in the caption of your photo, you were like, you know, keep manifesting your dreams. So are you like a big manifester? Because that article kind of manifested your runway. I am. Yeah. Like, I think you just have to believe it until it happens. And like, you have to see it for yourself. And if you don't, it's not going to happen. And that's like with anything in life.

Like you have to fully just believe that it's going to happen. You tell yourself like, I'm going to walk that runway next season. It's going to happen. If it doesn't, you have to kind of, you can't let yourself down like that. You can't be like, oh my God, I didn't get it. But like just know in your head, like I'm going to say this until it happens. And if it doesn't happen, it's okay. It will happen eventually, but just keep working towards it. And I think a lot of people get,

when they hear me say like, manifest your dreams. They're like, well, it's easy for you to say, but it's like, you still have to put in the hard work. I'm not just sitting here saying, I'm going to walk a runway. Like there's a lot of stuff that goes on behind closed doors that people don't see. There's a lot of hard work that goes in from the fashion week last, what? February. February to diesel, I think. Yeah, February. So there's a lot of work that goes in from last February to September. Right. There's a lot of stuff that people don't see. So manifest,

manifestation is a huge thing that I believe in, but you also like have to put in that work. It's not just going to happen. Cause I think like if you just put in the work and you don't fully believe it, it like also can be frustrating, right? Cause you're not getting anywhere. But then it's like, yeah, obviously you can't just sit in your house, like hoping it comes to you. So that in between time, like, what do you think, what is like something that people don't see you doing that you're like, you want people to know you're like, I actually do this, this and this. So like a huge thing that I recently realized,

found out about is that you have to do editorials to... That's like a main thing that people really look at. Like casting directors are editorial shoots and that will help build your kind of like a resume. And if they see you do more editorials, then you'll be more likely to book a show. So booking editorials can be hard too. Like you have to get the...

the like publisher the magazine to want to have you as their cover or like have a spread inside so it's a lot yeah you have a lot when I was I got your package I was like oh my god there was so many print stuff that you do which I didn't even know and a lot of times right editorial like doesn't pay a lot or at all right yeah I know people even say like makeup artists and stuff that have worked on like Vogue yeah you don't get really paid it's just being on Vogue yeah a lot in fashion and like the modeling world I mean I'm so new to this and I'm not gonna like say here like I'm like this

model. There are other models out there that know way more, but I'm so new to this. As far as I know, it doesn't pay. Luckily, I'm making my income from the beauty stuff, so I am lucky enough to be able to still live this lifestyle and to be able to do the modeling and runway, but a lot of models who first start off, they're living in modeling homes with

10, 15 other girls squished into rooms. So I'm lucky that I'm able to do this and still live the lifestyle from the beauty stuff. Yeah, I feel like the passion too is like, I feel like that's what a lot of people don't know is like people think it's like a cash grab, right? You want to be a model, you want to be a dancer, but like dancers don't get paid anything. Broadway is like very like low, but people do it because they love it. Like for the runway shows, like I don't get paid like barely anything, but that's, it doesn't matter to me because I'm doing it because I enjoy it. I'm not doing it for like

to make like I'm not doing it to get like what I get from the beauty stuff. So it's different. It's just, I enjoy it a lot and it's fun for me and I like to diversify myself. So that's what's so cool about you too is because yeah, you do the modeling, but you also like to have your own businesses and stuff and you're doing your own brand work. You collab with a lot of companies. Have you ever thought about doing your own brand? Just like

Meredith something makeup or I would love to have a makeup brand but it's all about like the right place in the right time and I think right now there's so many celebrity influencer brands that you really have to create a product that stands out and is different and it's kind of like you have to create a product that solves something or is like

like something that's so different than what Rihanna or Selena or whoever has already created. You know what I mean? Like, and you can't just say, I'm going to create a makeup line and they're going to buy my foundation because they like me. Right. You can't think of it that way. You have to kind of think of it as like,

The foundation that they're going to buy is the foundation they're choosing over whatever is in Sephora because the quality and the innovation of it is so amazing and different than what's already out there.

And I think that's not like I just would not want to go into a brand like creating a brand thinking like people are going to buy this just because they like me. I think that's the wrong way to go about it. That's amazing you think that way because I think people think the opposite, right? Influencers are like, well, people just like me so they're going to buy whatever, you know? So it's good that you're thinking about like quality or just at least uniqueness. Like what can I put that's different? And if you want a brand that's like in Sephora for like years to come and you want like a legacy and you want your children to like take over the brand and you want it to be this whole thing like –

There needs to be something that's unique about it and different. Like Charlotte Tilbury. Like, look at her brand. It's so amazing. And I don't... I think she created Charlotte Tilbury because people are just going to buy her foundation because she's Charlotte Tilbury. You know? She created such an amazing... Like, the quality of her products, the everything is so amazing. And that's why people want to buy it. And now they want to buy it, obviously, because she's Charlotte, too. Right. We love Charlotte. And the packaging. But when she first started it, like...

It was just because her products were that good. And that's what I want my brand to be like. I want my products to be that good, that different, that unique where they're going to want it. Not just because it's Meredith Duxbury's foundation. Right. Would you put your like name on it, you think? Yeah, I think you should. What other brands, like what other ideas would you have? Because we know you from makeup and fashion. Is there anything, because you do do so much and you diversify and stuff like that. Is there anything where you're like, I really want to try that? That's like maybe even out like someone would not expect from you. Yeah.

I think it would be fun to do something in fashion, but I don't know what because I'm so new to the industry that I don't know. I feel like I need to learn more about my style and what I really like in fashion because...

I wouldn't want to create something that like I love now. And then in three years time, I'm like, oh, I'm over that. Right. It could change so much. Yeah. So. And you've evolved so much. Really your style. We were talking about this too. Your look, everything is like so completely different. What do you think is like the driving force? Do you think it's like entering this fashion world or is it just New York? Is it the red hair? Like what's inspiring you to like change? I think when I first started on TikTok, like there's just this wave of like

Oh my God, everything is above and beyond as being like this influencer. You get sent all these products and all this and all these clothes and everything's just over the top. And it's like that kind of dies down over a little while and you're like, you know what? I want to go back to just like being minimalistic chic and just like, I don't know. I just feel like the first three years were so...

over the top of the glam and it's so fun and I love it and I still do it for TikTok but I just feel like now there's a different side of me that I want to kind of tap back into um and did it just get like overwhelming where you're like maybe I just need like Kim Kardashian did too she's like I need nothing in my house yeah exactly like all the bags and the purses and the colorful stuff and it's like it just gets overwhelming and I'm just like I love just like being able to throw on a tank top and jeans and

feeling like whatever. Yeah, still feeling like amazing. Like this outfit today, like do you style yourself? Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. And where do you like get your inspiration from? Because again, your style changes. I was looking through your Instagram. Your style changes so much. Yeah. Where are you getting inspiration from? I love Hailey Bieber's style. I mean, everybody does. But this is very opposite of Hailey Bieber, I feel, right? Or does she wear this? I don't know. I don't even know

what style this is. I love it. When I saw you, I was like, this is so cool. Thanks. The shoulder pads. I guess maybe. I don't know. I don't know Hailey Bieber's style that well, but I always think of her as just like more cashmere or something. Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like whatever feels comfortable too. Wow. Really? Yeah. Because I would just also during fashion week, you're always...

like kind of like dressing to the nines and like the dresses and this and that and getting your hair done, getting your makeup done, wearing heels literally every day for like a full month. Yeah. So when it's not that, putting on a pair of sneakers and baggy jeans is just like the best feeling ever. Ah, and it looks so cool. You make it look so like, I know, sneakers are my favorite. I really want sneakers to come back just the way the no makeup is coming back like Pamela Anderson. She went to Fashion Week. I,

I loved that for her. Did you love it? It was just like so cool and so different. And at the same time while she was doing that, I was kind of doing that too because it was during my like transition into fashion. And the thing with me is like I had to go so far the other way for people to realize that I wasn't wearing makeup. Like there's still to this day where people are like, oh,

Oh, like you're not wearing mascara? I'm like, I haven't been wearing mascara for over six months. You have none on today? That's wild. But it's like a delayed response. Like to me, I'm like, how do people not know that I haven't been wearing like full glam makeup? But to some of the brands or fashion houses, they don't catch on until like, I don't know, somebody...

says it to them or they see a post or I don't know something like that so no makeup look yeah it takes a while for them to catch on so it's like that's why I appreciate her too with no makeup with Pam when she just had like her red like skin well you know the red that you get in your skin is that it's like so just like embracing like yeah aging and just like being herself I know especially because she was a glam girl her whole life and just all of a sudden nothing but that's the thing like you can do both and I think people try and put

people in a box. Like so many people put her in a box and she's going against them, breaking that stigma. And I love that for her because that's what I want to do. I want to break that box that people are trying to put me in. And...

I can do full glam, but I can also go to couture and go to fashion week and wear no makeup and wear more minimalistic outfit or whatever it is and have that diversity. I think that's amazing because there's also too when you wear so much makeup, right? People are always like, you know, oh, she's only pretty because of makeup or whatever. So when you can actually take off the makeup, I get it all the time too when people are like, you know,

and like he'll stop me he's like you look bad you look good without makeup I'm like no that's a lie but like that's literally your face right now it's just like your face looks so it's just like youthful and pretty and of course I love a full glam too but you see your face more too which is like and both are fun like you said I love a full beat but it's fun to do both yeah and also just good for like your skin your eyes everything just just like breathe exactly you can rub your eyes and not have to worry about oh my god I love just like rubbing my eyes and not having mascara go all down my face do you have no shadow on today

No, I just have like a little bit of blush on my eyelids. Wow, it's amazing. So it's very minimal. Your rundown of your makeup today is foundation. So I don't really have foundation on. I have Charlotte Tilbury Flawless Filter with concealer, Kosas Concealer. And then I did the LYS Bronzing Stick. I did a little bit of Huda Powder. And then I did the Guerlain Bronzing Powder. Gucci Blush.

Just brush my eyebrows up with a clear gel. I really like focus on the lip. The lip and the blush. Like I love a peachy orange blush. The lip combo was everything. This is Charlotte Tilbury and Rode? Charlotte Tilbury Iconic Nude Lip Liner and then just the Rode. Oh my gosh. It looked so good when you were doing your lips. I was like, ooh, this is fun to watch it in person. I love just like a good bowl. I mean...

I say bold even though it's like – I don't know if other people would call this bold. But like when you're not wearing mascara, like I feel like it draws attention to your lips. So it kind of looks a little more bold than if you were to have like an eye on. Yeah. No, it does because then you just like focus on the lips and stuff. It looks so good.

I love the whole, you should, have you done this look on TikTok? Like just your natural. I do it all the time, but I feel like people get sick of seeing the same thing. Oh, okay. So I feel like I need to do a full glam or like add an eyeshadow color. Something different. Yeah. I think they just love to see you, like your story time, you know, and the makeup is a bonus. They love to see like the art of it too. Yeah. And just seeing like, because it is.

cool to see and you said you hated your freckles but you can see your freckles through and it looks so and again I think it just gives you such a different unique look it does there's so many people who are like me and my husband or me and my boyfriend watch your TikToks all the time like we're mesmerized by just like the foundation and like

It's so funny that they say their husbands are watching me put makeup on. Oh, he watches it with me all the time. Loves it. And he's like good at makeup now. We watch your thing and he'll like help me with my makeup because he can like, he's like an artist and can do eyeliner and stuff. So I'm like, oh, we need to recreate this. Even the foundation technique. I remember when I did it and he was like telling me like, okay, because I didn't know how to like

put it on, whatever. It is crazy because you really do appeal to like guys and girls, you know, in that sense because it's just art. It really is. It's like if you're watching somebody like paint a picture. It's so that and then to see the transformation. That's why I think when you were first starting those like short transformations you would do where it'd be like so quick with like hip hop music. It's like astonishing. You're just like, wow, that's amazing what you did. It's crazy. And especially because I have freckles too, the way they're just like gone. I think that's another like wow fact.

Oh, man. That makes you want to buy the foundation you're wearing because I have such like blemishes and all this problematic skin. I was like, I need that foundation for sure. It's so good. How did you – so I guess it was just like last year you started transitioning off TikTok to do runway stuff. Yeah. And talk about manifesting and all that stuff like that. But did you – when you were like young, did you say, I want to be a model? Because it's like modeling is a hard industry to get into. Yeah. I did like this –

I tried out for this agency, but it was kind of like a scam agency. They would make you pay, and my parents were like, you're not paying to do modeling. Like in the mall or something? They pay you. Yes. And I was like, I was so mad at them. I was like, are you kidding me? They're like, that's just not how it works. This is not happening. Like Barbizon models. And I was just like, wow, my dream of becoming a model is over. Because you can't pay $5,000. Yeah. I know that. But everything happens for a reason, and the reason...

was like they were protecting me. That would literally be such a scam. Right. And now look, like everything's happening the way it's supposed to. Yeah. You got on your own billboards. Yeah. And I just, I just feel like people really need to,

Give themselves time and patience. It's the one thing that like I'm still trying to learn so much about is patience because I don't have a lot of it because I have such bad ADHD. Right. Like I want everything now. The impulsive like me too. But you have to like give yourself time and appreciate what you're doing in the moment and what you're accomplishing in the moment and just know that it will come with time. And that's just like one thing that I stress so much is because I'm still trying to learn that but I really –

I appreciate it more and more as I see things starting to happen over time. And I'm like, wow, like if I just calm down. You save yourself the worry and the stress. And it comes quicker when you don't worry or stress about it. Exactly. I feel like things start happening and you're just like, I don't know how this happened. Like it just started happening. Yeah. It's like if you're looking for a boyfriend, it's not going to happen. But if you're just like focusing on yourself, doing your thing, they just come into your life. And you're like, wow. Yeah.

The minute I stopped caring. That's so true. Relationships, career, all of that stuff like that, where it's like when you just like focus on what you're doing in the current time, more stuff comes. I still manifest stuff that hasn't happened. And I'm like, you know, it's been 18 years. I'm like, but you know what? It could be in my 40s, in my 50s. Yeah. And it just wasn't, it wasn't meant to happen. Yes.

Ten years ago. Right. I totally – I believe that wholeheartedly. I always think about like if I had money in my 20s, oh my God, I would have been such a wreck. I would have been like dead in a ditch or something. Literally. You know, so. Everything happens the way it's supposed to. Yeah. And I think that's a big thing. When it comes to your modeling, if you want to talk about this, it was so interesting because we had – I have a photographer that comes take pictures because I love everything like blown out perfect. And he referred – he was like, you're very like Kate Moss, which Kate Moss is like known to be like, you know, what, 5'6 or something like that. It's the biggest compliment ever.

Which I didn't even know the British connection either. I was like, well, you kind of are like the Kate Moss of it all. Yeah. And I didn't know she was, because I asked him, I was like, wait, was she like shorter? And he's like, yeah. She's like, no one knew her height. Or you were saying too, like she was started as a child model. So they thought, oh, you'll grow. And then didn't grow. One of the biggest models in the world. Yeah. So with you, I was surprised because you do look so tall. Like you, to me, you look six foot like Kendall Jenner. Thank God. Thank you. And you're not short by

any means but I was just like oh wow you are running runways you're on you're doing editorial and you're not 5'10 you know how how do you even think like how did this happen like what do you what do you think or what advice would you give people who maybe are like I can't model because I'm not you know skinny enough or tall enough or you just have to like tell yourself like you deserve to be here and you deserve to have a place here um

And I think it's just about breaking the stigma. And I think our generation is really good at that right now. And we're pushing, pushing, pushing. And we're not going to give up. But I just think you have to be yourself. You have to bring your personality to the table. Like, if you go up to a casting director and they like your personality...

And they like you, who you are as a person. Maybe they're going to be like, you know what? Those extra few inches, it doesn't matter. She's going to bring her attitude and her personality to the runway, which we want in this collection. And I think that's important. They're not just, I feel like right now they're not just looking for a pretty girl who's tall. Like they want somebody who brings personality or like some bubbliness or they want you to wear the clothes in a way that's going to

show the collection in a positive, uplifting way. And I think that if you bring yourself to the table and have a good attitude about it, then you have a better chance if you're just there and kind of like blank face. Right. Just like every other. It is true. Like all the great models have like their own little signature something. They're all so quirky and unique. Like it's so funny because when you're sitting at the show, they all just look like

I don't know. They look the same and they're all like have this serious face on. And then when you go backstage, they're all singing and dancing and bopping around and they have like their cute little bags and their own style and they're just so cool. You're like, oh wait, that's like – And I wish everybody who is sitting at the show could see that because I feel like there's this like stigma about models. But they're the coolest people ever. Yeah. And they're so sweet. Yeah.

The amount of girls I've met in castings, they're so nice. And I follow them on Instagram and they have such cool lives and they just do their thing. I know. You don't see that. You just see like...

pretty girls, you know, it's all this stuff and you're just like, okay, they're models or whatever. But they're so cool. I have so much respect for them. And that's what I wish they could show. Like, that's what's cool about you doing TikTok too because now looking at your Instagram page, oh my God, you would just think, okay, supermodel, like no personality, whatever. And then you see your TikTok and it's like so fun and just like you with your dogs and also so real. Like you do, you are very real about it.

And it would be nice to see more of that. And it is kind of crazy that like you have to be a certain type of way in the modeling world too. Did you ever watch America's Next Top Model? Yeah. Did you like it as a kid? Yeah, but it was crazy. Watching it now, right? The clips on TikTok. I'm like, how is that allowed? It's brutal. It's like traumatizing, problematic. There's just like so many things like that. But when you watched it as like a kid where you're like, oh, that's what I want to do. Kind of, but at the same time, like I think it was very intimidating. And yeah.

I don't know. Yes and no at the same time. Yeah. Because I just feel like it felt super toxic and intimidating. And it's – I don't know. It's a hard thing to watch and to be like, I want that so bad. Yeah. Well, I just didn't know because when you go into castings now, when you first came from TikTok to be like the first person you told, I want a runway model, were you like –

Were you embarrassed? Were you nervous? Or were you confident? When I went into the casting? Yeah. Your first one ever or whoever got you into the casting. I was really nervous because I felt like kind of like a deer in the headlights and I felt like everyone else knew what they were doing and they were just like sitting there like smoking their vapes just like on their phone like whatever. And I'm like –

I like didn't have model cards. I like didn't. And I just would like go up and I'd be like, hi, where do I go? And they'd be like, just sit there and your name is going to be called. And I was like, okay. And I don't, the thing with me is like, I don't want people to think I got like a show because I'm Meredith Exbury. Like I want to put the work in. I will sit in that chair for four hours if I have to. And if I don't get it, I don't get it. Like I think

And rejection is redirection. And I think it's important and it builds character being rejected and not getting everything you want the first time. And I think it's important to have to work for things in life because that's what I had to do growing up. Like I had to work for things. I didn't get everything handed to me. Right.

I think it's important to have to go through the journey that every other traditional model has to do. Like, I'm not going to walk in here and be like, hi, I'm Meredith Duxbury. Like, I'm going to walk this show. Like, yes, you manifest it and you say in your head, like, I'm going to walk this. But also you have to set expectations for yourself and be like,

I'm here just like everyone else and treat me just like every other person in the room because we're all equals and we're all like – Trying for the same thing. Are trying for the same thing. If anything, maybe even harder for influencers to get into that world, right? Yeah, because sometimes they don't want somebody with a name on the runway. They look at you and they're like, oh, TikToker. Like, okay, got it. So you have to break that –

stigma and like that vision that people have like oh she's an influencer it's like I'm so much more than that and I have so many more things to offer yeah I feel like that is that would be like the hardest part of it and now people are seeing you in this like new light so now how do you what would you tell people who want to transition right especially influencers TikTok is talking about being banned and stuff like that that just want to like go either one how do they start influencing or two how do they get to like get into the mainstream yeah

Well, like I said, I would say like go into it just being yourself and with your personality. Don't go in being like, how can I go viral? How can I blow up? I think it's just look at all the people, like the best people you follow, the people like you wake up and you want to go to their page and see their stuff every day. It's like they bring something that's different, whether it's like cooking or their personality or like if they're singing, like something is different about them. They're not just there for clickbait. And I think that's the number one thing is like bring...

bring your personality to the table and you're going to get so much further. And then how do you think, I think that's really good advice because of the uniqueness of it, but then how do you think to make how you did, how you kind of pivoted off of, you're still on social media, you still use it, but like how do you pivot? It's hard because I feel like you have to sacrifice a lot of things. Like I had to stop doing my foundation technique because that was like, people don't

like that in the fashion world. It's like, they don't want you to wear makeup. Yeah. It's too much. So I kind of had to give that up for a little bit and which was fine because I wanted to try out this other industry. And I feel like my audience, um,

wanted to come along with the journey and I knew that they'd be okay with that and they know that I'm gonna come back and do full glam regardless at some point like I'm never not gonna do it again yeah um and I think they were ready to see me do other things too because they'd always be like oh like

what are you wearing to your event? Like, let us see your outfit. So I knew they wanted other content from me. So even just like when I did my diesel casting, I brought them along in like a three-part journey of like, come with me to this casting. Oh, that's so cool. And it was like so real and raw because I didn't know I was getting the casting until...

1 a.m. that night before the show and call time was like 7 a.m. So I really brought them through the journey and I think they appreciated that and it was something new and different and it wasn't just the same old full glam. They're like, wow, we can see more into her personality and other things that she's doing. And the work and dedication it takes getting up from 1 a.m. to 7 a.m. to go. It's like, that's wild. Even just like

cutting my hair and dying it red. Like there might be some people out there who are like, no, I'm not cutting my hair. I'm not dying my hair. Like I'm going to stay blonde. Like if they don't like me for me, then too bad. But I think in fashion, you kind of have to, I don't know. I'd say still, you're still yourself and you bring that personality, but also you have to respect the fashion community and what...

what it is and if you don't like it for what it is then don't do it yeah it's a whole different world it's like they want natural and if you don't like that fine but it's like you're not changing yourself because if like my my close friends and family like

They know when I went outside the house, I wore no makeup. Yeah. They're like, this is just Meredith on the day to day. It was still me. Like not wearing makeup during fashion week is still me. Yeah. I would wear no makeup all the time. Right. It was just like I did full glam for TikTok so much. So people would say that I'm like full glam all the time, but I wasn't. Like I was just like a normal person going out to get groceries with no makeup on. Yeah. So like.

It was kind of normal for me to wear no makeup during the fashion stuff, but it was hard to not have the full glam be my personality because it was for three years. Yeah. And it was just like that was it and everybody knew me as like the makeup girl. And like I'll still have some people come up to me on the street like, oh my God, that's the makeup girl. Oh my God, that's so funny. That's what people know you as. Yeah. So I'd say just like kind of...

For people who want to get into another industry or, you know, transition into something else, it's just be open-minded. You can't close yourself off and be like, nope, this is what I'm doing if they don't like it too bad. Yeah. That's a common mistake I think people make because it's not necessarily changing yourself. It's adapting to what it is. And fashion changes all the time. And trying out new things. Yeah. Like challenge yourself to try something new. It's not you're changing who you are. Right. You're trying something else. Maybe you're going to love it. And really.

Blonde to red is a big change. I've been blonde my whole life and I always am. I'm just like, I can never get rid of the blonde. So when you went red, were you like, this is what I should do? Did you feel it in your heart? Did someone advise you? How does it feel to be a redhead? I'm such an open person. I would dye my hair black tomorrow. I'm just like, I will try anything. I had my nose pierced. I've gotten tattoos. I just will try anything. I just think it's fun to try new things and be open-minded. But it was kind of like...

a whole conversation with my agent and my team. And they were like, I think this would be really great to like kind of be like, I'm here to the fashion world. Oh, yeah. And it was cool. Like I think people –

grabbed people's attention and they were like, oh, let's see if she's here to stay. And it wasn't like, okay, she dyed her hair like two months after, like now she's doing something else. It's like, she's not just doing this for clickbait. Like she actually is, you know, changing her look up and trying something new and sticking with it. It was shocking. Did you have a wig at first? Did you do a wig? That's what I remember. I did a blonde short wig. Oh,

that's right. And everyone loved it. Yeah. And you're like, it's a wedding. And I was like, sorry. And then the next day I was like, okay, like I'm doing it for real and I'm dying it red. Oh my God. What was the reaction? Cause it is, it's just, now it's like, this is so you, but you were like the blonde, like,

and like bombshell and it's just like what were people's reactions they're like what some people were like oh my god like what is going on other people were like this is perfect for your complexion with your freckles there's still people so good thank you yeah there's still people to this day who are like we want the blonde back but i'm like guys it can always go back it can always go back like i'm in my red era it's fun it's different it's new and i just think like

Some people are too serious. How do you feel with it? Do you feel different with red hair? Yeah. Yeah. I do. I felt like with the blonde, I always felt like it was like a Barbie walking around. Like it was always like blonde. Like my hair was so blonde. Like you have a nice root. Like mine was just like. Oh, I love that blonde that you have. I only did it because my hair was dying. Like it was breaking off. But that's the thing. My hair was literally dead. It was so dead. But I just felt like

Even if I wore makeup, it was always like super glam. I feel like with the red, it just feels like a little edgier. Totally. But I love the blonde. Like I would go back to blonde. I would do dark brown. I would do black. Like I would try any hair color, but I feel like the red just makes me feel like, I don't know. I can wear no makeup and still have like that edge to me and feel like different. It's super cool. And it's such a different color too. It's almost like coppery kind of. Yeah, it's like a copper cowboy. And did you have to change your style because of your hair? Were you like, okay, I can't wear like. No, I think.

as I just started doing more in fashion like I would kind of pay attention to what other people were wearing and what kind of styles I liked and I just you know would look at other people for inspiration too and then take what I saw and put it into my own

kind of style. Yeah. And your look. Yeah. And you do your hair yourself too. Yeah. Because today is like a kind of like almost like a wet kind of like look. It is just like kind of crimped-ish. Oh my gosh. And it's early. I was like dang you went glam early because it is hard. I love that you came early because I'm such an early bird and most people want to come later. I'm such a morning person. You are? Yeah. What's like a morning routine for you look like? Well I'm held accountable to be a morning person with my dogs because they are in my face at 7.30. Oh. You have to take them out? Yeah. So I take my two goldens out.

at like 7 38 sometimes if i'm really tired like i won't take them out till later wow but every morning every morning yeah take them out feed them um

They need like a lot of walks. So big walk to the park and then like do my own content and stuff. But it's a good routine. Like when you have like dogs, I mean, it's not as hard as having kids, but it's kind of like you have to get up. You have to care for these like things in your house. And you can't just like lay in bed and be like, oh, I'll film content at like 5 p.m. today. Like you need to have a schedule. It's a hard... I think dogs...

Maybe hot take. I think dogs are harder to take care of than kids. They honestly are really hard. But whenever I say like dogs are like having children, people roast me. They're like, it's not. But I'm like, no, their vet bills are through the roof. The vet bills are expensive. My sister has two dogs. I had a dog and I gave it to my sister because it was like a gift to me and I just didn't know what to do with the dog. But it's like also they never they never learn to like go to the bathroom on their own. Kids do. Kids talk. Kids get independent. Yeah.

Dogs are that forever. You have to take them out. Like you literally have to take them to the bathroom like four times a day every day for the rest of their lives. It's crazy to me. That's so much harder and the feeding is difficult. You have to feed them. I feed them three times a day. Yeah. With kids when they grow up like they can feed themselves. No, it is. Even my daughter at one and a half is being more independent. She's like potty trained and – Yeah. Yeah.

The dog thing I think is way harder. And they're like in your face. Right. Every day at like 7.30. It's just so – and that's – I think that's what you said is good like discipline. I mean at least you're like able to get up and stuff like that. But I love them. They're the best. I would have like five if I could. Wait. How long have you had these dogs? Like one of them is two years old. So like around two years and then the other one is a year. Wow.

And they're kind of cute fashion accessories for you. I know. They look so good in your photos. I saw one recently and it was like them, like you were just walking down the street. Is someone taking, like a photographer taking those photos or are you? No, just like my friends or my assistant. Wow. Yeah. They look so like, I don't know, like editorial. Like, you know, here's two dogs. And they're so big too. They're a good accessory. I know. Whenever people meet me, they're like, you have two Goldens in the city. They're both a hundred pounds. Oh my God. That's wild. And then like you live in like a building, right? I live in an apartment. Yeah. Yeah.

Gosh, that's crazy. You go in the elevator every day. Oh my God. That's good though. It's also like protection and security and all that stuff like that. Yeah. So they're alerted. Back to the Diesel one because Diesel's like the it brand. How did that even come about? So I had always loved Diesel. I'd been posting like about their stuff for a while. And then I think my agents like reached out to them for casting. And so I went for casting. I showed up

30 minutes early. So I got right off my flight and I showed up 30 minutes early to the casting, which I didn't realize I was early. So I was just waiting there and the casting director walked in, which I think was like a blessing in disguise that I got there early because maybe I wouldn't have had, like, I spoke with him for like 30 to 45 minutes, just me and him before like the casting started. And after we spoke, he was like, wow, like, I didn't know you were like

so fun and unique and I thought you were going to be so different in person. Yeah. And that's what people always think. Like when they – you never know how people are going to be. I didn't know either. They make this like picture up in their head about you and then that's what they think. So –

When I got there early, we spoke for 30 minutes. We got so deep into life. Oh, my gosh. Like, so deep. What were you talking about? Everything. Like, his life, his kids, my life, my relationship. Like, everything. My dogs, how I, like, blew up on TikTok. Like, we went deep. Oh, my gosh. And...

I think that really helped because he was like, I like that. Like what I was saying before, bring your personality to the table. I like as a person. Such a better shot at getting it. Yeah. So I did the, I did the casting and obviously like I'm on the shorter side and I was like, oh, I don't know how this went. I didn't get taken back for like a fit to confirm. So you like, you could do the casting. You like walk, you do your walk and they do like pictures of you.

and then sometimes they'll take you back and have you try clothes on. And they didn't have any of that. So you're like, oh, I didn't make it. So I was like, oh my God, like definitely didn't get it. I remember going back to the hotel. I was like freaking out. The casting director gave me his number. So I texted him and I was like, hey, so nice to meet you. Like, thank you so much. Just like keep me updated. And he texted me back and was like, not sure it's going to work out, but just come in. We're going to try one thing on you. But I like can't make any promises. Oh, wow. And I was like,

there's just no point. I was like, wow, like it's not going to happen. Cause when somebody tells you like, it's not going to happen. Yeah. You're like heartbroken. Yeah. And you've really, and diesel is so huge. And it's so huge. And when someone's like, it's not going to happen. I was like, Oh, like why am I even going in? But you just have to, you did. You went back. I went back in.

And I tried the outfit on and I was speaking to Glenn, the creative director himself. He was so nice, so sweet. I did my walk in front of like the whole team. So it's the whole styling team. And then it's like Glenn, a few other people. Glenn wasn't the person you met when you got in there? No. Okay, this is different. Glenn is the creative director of Diesel. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. So that's huge. Good thing you went back. You're like, I get to meet you.

to meet you. I know. So I met him and then I met the whole styling team and then you do a walk back and forth and the whole thing was live streamed by the way. So like anybody can watch this. Like my whole team was like watching like oh my god. Wait where was it live streaming? On diesel.com and like on Instagram. Oh my

That's kind of cool that they do that. It was so cool. So I had like a video recording, like a screen recording of me doing my walk and everything. Oh, wow. Did you post it on your TikTok? Yeah, I did. Oh, I had to see it. I did not. I never saw that. Okay. Yeah. So I did my walk and then they had tried the outfit on me. And then because I'm shorter, they have to like tailor the dress. Oh, to be a little like shorter on you. So then they were pinning things and my agent and manager were like, okay, they're pinning things onto her like...

I think this is happening. Oh my gosh. Because in your head, you're like, why would they be pinning stuff to me if I'm not going to walk? If it's not, yeah. But literally, they could be pinning stuff to you and they could not have you walk. You cannot get your hopes up in any way. You have to have zero expectations, but at the same time, be manifesting that you're going to walk. That's so hard. It's like, oh, I didn't. It's so hard. To get your hopes up. You're having to be like, I'm going to walk this, but at the same time, I have zero expectations. Yeah. Yeah.

So they did my pictures. They fit me. And then I went home. Then they reached out again and were like, okay, we want Meredith to do the hair and makeup test.

So, but then my modeling agent, he was like, I've had girls do hair and makeup tests for Fendi and get released at 2 a.m. and not get the show. So still, next day, I go in for the hair and makeup test and I'm sitting there like I still like could not be walking. You weren't getting excited at this point. You're like, at that point, I'd be like, I got it. So the weird thing was, it was like such a buildup. By the time that I was confirmed to walk, I felt like...

I should be like bawling my eyes out, but I wasn't because there were so many steps where I was like, am I going to get it? Am I going to get it? It was like so strange. I didn't get that full moment of like, yeah, I got it. Like it was just like every everything that felt like a milestone, like doing the hair makeup test is still was like, no, don't get your hopes up. Yeah.

So my, like, by 1 a.m., I was like, okay, I'm doing this thing. Like, I didn't even have time to, like, start crying. Yeah. But, like, with GCDS, the first show I walked the season before, bawling my eyes out because I did the casting, did the fit to confirm and got confirmed all in one day. So it was, like, this wave of emotion. Yeah, it just went so fast. And I went home and bawled my eyes out. But this one, it was, like, dragged on for so long, I, like –

My emotions were all. Yeah. You're just like, don't get your hopes up. But also like this could be happening. So then I did the hair and makeup test. Went home. Still nothing. Zero. Like was going to sleep that night. The show was the next day. I was like, they would have confirmed me by now. Finally 1 a.m. Meredith has confirmed. Call time 730. And I was just like, oh my God. Like it didn't feel real at that point. Yeah.

Yeah. Were you sleeping? Were you like half awake when you got it? No, I was like not sleeping. I was like fully awake waiting. Because I know in that – the TikTok I mentioned earlier where you're talking about your, you know, depression or your sadness and the seasonal time, ADHD, you know, at the end of it basically was a depth lifting message of like reframing how you think, like reframing your mind. And how would you say – what would you say is the most important step to reframing how you think? Like you're sad, your emotions are whatever. You know, how do you reframe how you think?

Well, I think it's important not to push the emotions out of your mind because I think that's what a lot of people do is like trying to distract themselves and be like, oh, but I live this amazing life or oh, like I can go by myself like this person will make me happy or whatever it is. It's like you can't ignore the feelings. What you have to do is like accept that they're there and deal with a way to kind of cope with it and making yourself happy.

feel more comfortable or happy instead of pushing it out of the way. Like put on a good show, make yourself a really good dinner that you love, do a yoga class and reframe your mind in a positive way that like I can handle these emotions and I'm going to acknowledge that they're here instead of push them away and say,

I'm gonna go and book a vacation or I'm gonna go by this person's gonna make me happy like a distraction yeah rather than feeling yeah I'm gonna go out tonight and go drink with my friends and just ignore it it's like no acknowledge that those feelings are there and do something that makes you happy at the same time I think that's like the way to reframe it instead of like pushing it out of the way

And if you like get too much into it, if you're sulking too much into it, like how it just again, like without distracting yourself, you're like, it's more just what you're saying is more just natural everyday day-to-day things. Yeah. Eating food, going to work out. They say that too. When I went to therapy for the first time, it was literally like the four things were like sleep, go see a friend, walk and like eat better. And I was just like, oh, that's simple. It seems so simple and like so easy. Like if somebody were to give me that advice, I'd be like,

That's like the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Like eat a good meal. But it's true. Like I love grocery shopping. It makes me so happy. Do you cook? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. So I love going to the grocery store and just like getting really good food. And like cooking is such a good way to distract yourself, but without pushing those feelings out of your head. Because you have time while you're cooking to like

feel your feelings but to also feel happy like yeah wow I'm cooking a meal that's gonna be so good and then I can bake cookies after right and like you're not going out drinking and like trying to

get this like out of your head. Like masking it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're still dealing with those feelings but you're doing something for yourself that you love and you enjoy. And it's like a way to like clear your mind. It's almost like meditation, right? Yeah. You're not thinking about anything. Well, that's what makeup is for me too. Like if I'm upset or I'm like sulking, I'll sit down and I'll do full glam and it just makes me feel so happy. That's so wild to me. I can't even, I hate doing my own makeup so much. I'm like, God,

I mean, it's amazing. But like you said, I think people don't know to try those different things, right? Maybe putting on makeup helps you feel better, you know, or – which is – that's amazing. That's such – like, you're like, I just love to do it. Because it, like, distracts me in a way that I'm like, okay, like, what color should I use and, like, what –

Should I do? You're too focused on the color to think about anything else. Yeah, but I'm not like masking my emotions. I'm just like doing something that I like and it's distracting. Yeah. And it's like making you, yeah, it's really just focusing on something else. Yeah. And then after I look pretty and I look good and I take some pictures, I'm like, okay, I'm cute. Yeah.

And it does. It does help that so much. Just balancing emotions. It's just so – it's hard. It's hard for I think everybody. It's so hard. And I think I love that, the realness that you share with your audience online. I also love too the – you did a whole lip filler dissolving thing, which I have been dissolving my lips for literally years and they still don't go down because what I love the most about

that one is you had the beauty filter on and you're like looking from the side and you could see it. Then you took the beauty filter off and you could see like the line, which is crazy because that's what I had to for so many years, like this line of how it like really migrated up.

And so for stuff like that, are you ever like, okay, casting people could see this. My agents could see this. Or are you just like, whatever, this is more important to put out here. So I let people know. Because the lip filler is wild. Everyone wanted that for a minute. Yeah. I think it was important for the casting people to see too. Because when I walked my first show, I had all the lip filler. The migration you had? Yeah. Wow.

And I go back and I look at the pictures and videos and I'm like, wow, like it just looks so migrated. And it's crazy in that moment. I couldn't see that. I just thought like, oh, I've like nice lips. But then when I go back, I'm like, oh my God, they looked so unnatural. Like it was just like I had this huge like shelf on the top and it would cast a shadow and it would just look like, you know, like the filler mustache that people say. And so I thought it would be nice to just like share the journey with

my followers because I know a lot of people get filler and a lot of people feel pressure to get filler and then they get it and they're like oh my god like I filled my lips way too fast or this or that so I think it's nice to just see somebody go through that as well and be like okay like I can get my lips dissolved it's not scary I can always get them refilled if I want to and have you done it since no I haven't got them refilled um it's it

It was, like, weird because I had lip filler for so long and I was always so insecure, like, about my lips. But, like, when you get them dissolved, you just feel so much more like yourself. And you can always overline your lip. Oh, yeah. You can overline your lip or you can get, like, a Botox lip flip if you want a little extra. But, yeah, I think it was, like, really...

I don't know. People could relate to it and it was important for you to get out there. Important to show people that. Yeah. I think that's so good because so many people talk about lip filler and everyone just like wants it, wants it. And then you show like the side that – the ugly side of it, which can totally happen to so many people. And it's just like, yeah, it can almost affect your self-esteem that way or almost give you dysmorphia, right? You thought that looked good, right? Yeah.

Me too. Right? You think, this looks so good. And not to say it doesn't. If you love a ton of lip filler, like, do it. You know, for sure. But it is – I think so many people find it refreshing to be like, thank God I didn't get the lip injections. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. And they can look up to you for that, which I think is great. Yeah. I think there's just so many things that, like, people feel pressured to do, whether it's, like, getting a boob job or getting this or getting that. And then you get it. And then years later, you're like, what?

wow. Like I literally regret that so much. Oh yeah. Like makes you unhappy or the people who wanted it, like the BBLs and stuff, they see like the side effects. Okay. Thank God. You know, I see that with like Ozempic. I'm like, I want to be on Ozempic so bad. But then you see like, sometimes it's great for people, but then I see like the negative ones and you're like, thank you for sharing your story because now I don't want to do it. You know what I mean? Like you just, you look back at yourself when you got like no lip filler, no boob job, whatever it is. And you're like, wow. Like I wish I had that face. I know.

I know. When I look back before lip filler, I'm like, oh, I kind of wish I kept that face. And then when you go back to your natural self, you're like, wow, like it feels so good. I know. And it's like just freeing all of it. And that's why, again, I love the movement you're doing, Pamela Angelina's stuff. Because it's, like you said, it's great to be glam. I love to be glam too. But it's like sometimes you just want to be okay being yourself. And not like I did anything super extravagant. Like I got lip filler. But like still, when you get it dissolved and you're back to like your natural lips, you're like, wow, it feels good to feel like myself again. Right. And to look like yourself. Yeah. And

And not look like everybody else. What was a moment I saw recently? Was it – you were at a Versace show. You met Donatella Versace? Yes. Was that like a pinch – was that like one of your biggest moments where like this is crazy? I think inside I was like dying. Me and my –

Me and my manager, after we met her, we turned this corner. We scoopies each other's hands so hard. And we were like, did that just happen? Oh, my God. We were like, what the hell? How did it happen? What did happen? What were you feeling? So all thanks to Pat McGrath. She is like the best human ever. Wait, you know her? Yeah. Love that. Oh, my God. So casual. She did my makeup a little while ago for the CFDAs. And she's just been like such an amazing person.

inspiration to me throughout this whole thing and I look up to her so much. I mean, she's such an icon and her brand is amazing. The way that she's built such an empire for herself. Her glitter everything is so good. She's just so good. So she, I was invited to the Versace show through the Versace team but she was like, I'm doing makeup for backstage and she's like, do you want to come backstage with us? And I was like, yeah. She's like, you can meet Donatella. And then, so I got to the show, went backstage and

Saw Pat and the whole team and she's like, okay, let's go. And there's this video of us like holding hands. Like we both have our like long hair swaying. It was just like such a cute moment. Oh my gosh. And then we go over to Donatella and she's so sweet. Such like a girl boss. Yeah. Like such an inspiration to so many people.

Yeah. Like, she is iconic. Her story is amazing. Yeah, her whole story. She's just, like, the best and so nice. I love that. That's the best. With somebody who's so successful and has been through so much and is so humble, I'm like, wow. Still excited to meet people and grateful to meet people. Yeah. And she, like, cares about meeting me. That's just, like, so nice. Oh, wow. Yeah. So she was so sweet. And she was like, your makeup looks amazing. Like, thank you for coming. She was so nice. Yeah. Did you ever –

It would be a dream to walk her show. Like I would fully die. Oh, that's going to happen. That'll happen for sure. I would die. Oh, Versace is really just the icon of it all. I know. And the collection, everything was just iconic. Like it was the best moment of my life. That was like a dream show. Once I got the invite for that, I felt like I had made it. Oh my God. Yeah. That's what I wondered. Was that your moment where you're like, okay. Yes. Yes. I think I'm doing something big. Yeah. Because I was like, I don't know, when you're doing the fashion stuff, you...

It's hard to realize what you're doing because you're working so hard and just trying to, you know, go, go, go. And then you get that invite and you're like, oh my God, like my hard work is...

is paying off and it's actually working. Like, cause you never know, like, am I doing this right? Like, am I doing something right? Until you get that moment, you're like, somebody has recognized it. I can't believe it. Oh my gosh. And to have a, such a nice experience with it too. It's like such an amazing experience. I'll never forget it. How can you even go up from there? That's what I'm saying. It's like, what do you even do? Like you said, I guess running the,

walking the show would be the next which will totally happen for sure so next fashion week is september yeah oh my gosh i know i really hope i walk show but if i don't it's okay like you have to kind of set the expectation that like if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't and that's the way it is in modeling like you can't be so hard on yourself because if you don't book a show it might not necessarily be because they don't like you or they don't like this it's

you might just not fit the aesthetic for that collection. Like there's a show that I casted for last New York Fashion Week and it was more of like witchy, dark vibes. And it was just like they wanted models that kind of fit that more. And they were like, she just doesn't fit the aesthetic for the show, but that's okay. Maybe next time. And so you can't be hard on yourself because if you...

pull yourself down like that it's gonna be a long oh my god a long road that's the tortured role right there it's not fun anymore no it's not fun yeah so you just have to like be very open-minded and like if I get it if I get it if I don't it's okay that's the best way what else are you working on are you working on anything I am I'm working I'm working on a book

I'm really excited because I feel like it's something outside of, you know, the content. And it's something that I can really pour my heart into. That is the thing with your age, like 20s. It's just like you grow so much. Well, you've seen it. Like you change year to year, month to month. Yeah. That's why I don't want to create a makeup line right now because I know it's just not going to be exactly what I want as if I were to have it in 2020.

three to five years time. I think people will appreciate just even the capsule. If you change right in two years, like you're capsulating this now, you know, and who you are now because it's so fun. Yeah, maybe you'll be totally different in two years, but it's like this little time capsule they'll have. And I think that's okay for a book. Like that's where that growth, it

it will show and it'll be like cool to read the book and then be like, oh my God, look where she is now. Yeah. Oh, oh my God. You in two years, it'll be like just so crazy to see from like sitting here to like where you'll be in two years. It is so exciting and so fun. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And then I maybe want to start a podcast, but I don't know. You should. Okay. This is what I was saying is like,

talking about being surprised by somebody, like even before the podcast started, how bubbly and like talkative you are because it's good. You see such a image online that's so like clean and polished. And yes, you have your vulnerable moments, but it's still very clean and polished. But when I saw, I was like, oh, this girl talks, which is, you know, it's not easy. The gift of gab is not easy. That would be amazing. But that's the thing. Like I love to talk. I'm like, I'm an introvert, but I also love to talk so much. Like I'd say I have a social battery. Like

love talking, talking, talking, going out. But then when I'm like at my max, I'm like, okay, I need to go home with my dogs and like shut down. But then like the next day I'll be okay. I'm the exact same way. What's your horoscope? I'm Taurus. Okay. I don't know a lot about Tauruses. I don't know either. I just know we like to make money. I'm always like hustling. I love the grind. You know what I mean? I'll take, I'll do anything. I'll do something for a hundred dollars, a thousand. I don't really care. I'm just like a hustler. But I think a podcast would be fun to show that side of my personality because I am

I think I struggle with that a little bit is to show more of my personality. I try through like Instagram and I'm posting more like pictures that are kind of off duty and less like posed. Right. It still looks amazing. They still look professional. Like the one with your dogs. I'm like, this looks like a photo shoot.

But yeah, I just, I think it would be nice to be a little more vulnerable. And like you were saying, it's good for your social battery. Like I don't see anyone. I never see anybody. But when I do this, I get like super hyped, you know, because it's like meeting someone new and exciting. And it just like fulfills something else in you. And it's so fun to learn about somebody else as well. Oh.

Oh my God. And we don't get to do that. I feel like everyone's on their phones. Even when you hang out with your actual friends, like everyone's on their phone. Exactly. So like the minute you can like put down your like phone for like an hour, it just feels so nice. Exactly. And it's so conversational too, which like if I were just trying to like show my personality on TikTok, it's not the same as if,

You're in a conversation with someone. It makes such a difference. Yeah. Such a difference. Than just talking by yourself. Because I love doing those contents too. But talking with someone. It also just brings out something so different in you. Exactly. Which is fun. Yeah. So you're in LA for the week. Yeah. Any exciting things while you're here? There's a Fenty Beauty event that I'm going... There's so much like going on with Rihanna right now. I love it. She changed her profile picture after like...

15 years or something crazy. It's no longer the 16th year. So they're having a big product launch, I think. I don't know if she's going to be there. I really hope. Wait, really? I feel like she will be. Haven't you met her before? No. Oh. Never met her. I've seen like Mikayla meet her, so I feel like I haven't met her. I've never met her, so that would be a dream. Oh my God. That would be like another moment in my career where I'd be like,

Like how? Oh my God. I'd just be speech. I'd be speechless. Yeah. She's kind of like an untouchable person to me. I'm just like, how do people meet her? Exactly. Wow. Oh, that'd be fun. So you're going to go to the Fenty. I love Fenty. We were just saying foundation. I was like. They're the best. The Fenty Foundation. And she's another one that's done so amazing at her brand. And it's not just like another celebrity brand. Like.

So good. Another one is Beyonce. Like, I love – I don't know how to pronounce the name of her new, like, hair care line. Oh, I don't know if she had one. But people were, like, roasting her, like, oh, my God, like, another influencer or celebrity. Yeah.

line and she was like actually no and she did this whole tutorial with the shampoo and the conditioner with her real hair because everyone was like oh you wear wigs like your hair underneath isn't like healthy and she was like actually it is and actually my products work and she did this whole tutorial with her blonde hair and it looked so good and I was like thank you like somebody who's actually tapping in to their brand and showing and

being the face of the brand and showing how it works. That it actually works. Yeah, there's so many people who think they can just launch it and then not be involved. And it's like, it's not going to work like that. Yeah, you have to show. And I use the shampoo and conditioner every day and it's so good. Really? Yeah. I should try it. Is her hair blonde now? Yeah. It's so good. The conditioner is amazing because with the K-tip extensions, you have to be really careful on what you use because it can get like poofy. Right, and they can also like slip out sometimes too. It is so good. So that's like another...

Did you go to the event? No, because I was in New York. I think it was in LA. Because I feel like a lot of people met Beyonce there too. I was like, how are these people getting? I know. The beauty world is connected. It is. It really is so connected. But that's the thing. Like you think of them as so untouchable and then they create this brand and it's like, oh my God, you get a chance to meet them. And then obviously you want to post about the event and about it's,

smart. Yeah. It's kind of like free marketing. No, it's so smart. And I love that the celebrities are doing it because they don't, Beyonce doesn't need that, you know, but the fact that she's doing that is like so smart. And I wouldn't have known. I didn't even know she had hair care. You have to try it. It's so good. Oh my God. I gotta look it up. I love Beyonce too. I think like anything she does. She's amazing. Oh man. Oh, so you have like all these events and parties. Are you just working nonstop while you're here or do you get like a day off? Thursday I have off. Me and my agent are going to have a spa day. Oh my God. Fun. We love. Yeah.

So we're going to get massages and then tomorrow is like filled with meetings and stuff. So you're just like working. Friday meetings, event, and then Saturday and Sunday I go to stagecoach. That's – Which will be really fun. Yeah. You get like your days off then. Yeah. And you're not working at all during stagecoach. No. Not working. And then this summer is going to be crazy. I think I'm going to be gone for like a month and a half to two months straight. Where are you going? So I'm going to Cannes twice for Film Festival and then for Cannes Lions. Okay.

Wait, what? Oh my God. How did you get? Oh my God. That's amazing. Yeah. Are you trying to act or anything? Wait, funny you said that because I actually sent in a, what do you even call it? Real? A what? A self tape. No, you didn't. I don't even know what it's called.

I sent in a self-tape, but like the way my team and I are going about it is like if it fits, it fits. We're not like doing a 180 like, okay, Meredith is like an actress now. You should. Oh my God. The acting is like, you see so many people actually be good at it. You know what I mean? And why not if you have the opportunity? I say if you get the opportunity to do something like you need to just do it. So like I met the acting, one of the like agents from the acting department at CEA and

So sweet. And we kind of just like connect and we're like, if it fits, it fit. If it fits, it fits. If not, like we're not like pushing anything. But I sent in a self tape and it was so funny because when I first looked at the lines, I was like, there is no way that I'm going to be able to memorize everything.

All of this. Oh my God, right. I was like, I don't know how they do it. I'm not going to be able to memorize it. And you have the ADHD. That doesn't help. Yeah. Exactly. Oh no. That's the one part of the ADHD that I was like, this is harder to do because I have to memorize. And when I read lines, I feel like my eyes like skip around. Like it just like doesn't register. I didn't think about that. Yeah. And...

But then I had my friends staying with me and I was like, okay, let's read the lines back and forth to each other. And we were just doing it like on our way to get coffee. And I was like, wait, this isn't as bad as I thought it was. It came more natural than you thought. It came more natural and it was fun and it was a challenge. And I love challenging myself. That's the one thing I think is so important for people to do is to challenge yourself because you can get stuck in this like same routine every day. And it's like, do something different for yourself. Challenge yourself. Yeah.

So I did the self-tape and I had to like laugh in the self-tape, which I'm not a good on-demand laugher. I can't either. Yeah. So it was definitely felt so weird, but I took a few different takes and I set them in and it was fun. And it's just like, whatever happens, happens. I'm not going to be like let down if I don't get it. Yeah. You're like messing it. It was a fun experience. Oh,

Oh my god. Self tapes are. I've actually never even done a self tape. But that's like a big thing. I feel like you'd be good at it. I always want to try it too. I'm one of those people. That's what I'm saying. I'm like. I think maybe my 40s. You know. I always get up to people. Like Lucille Ball. Like okay. 40 is like my stride. Because it's. Yeah. It's just fun. It's like my life goal. Like you were saying. When you like know how to turn on.

like your personality I feel like that's what makes a good actress or actor is like switching you like go into this character well that's a whole different beast did you have an acting coach because okay no no I don't oh you don't no oh so you did the self tape on your own yeah I just did it on my own it wasn't like that serious like I just tried it out I feel like if I were to actually do acting maybe I would get an acting coach just to feel more comfortable I think even if I did a self tape I'd be like um

I'm going to do – I need an acting coach. Even like hearing your voice, you're like, oh. Oh, I know. I couldn't watch it back. But I love the dialogue. I love the acting of it all. Because you said you were going to cancel. I was like, oh, wait. Are you like trying to like – because are you going with – So I'm going with Dior Beauty. So – That's so cool. So – And then I'm going to Haute Couture in July in Paris. No, it will be in June, the end of June. Okay.

And then I'm going to England to the countryside with my family. Then my manager is getting married and she's getting married in the English countryside too. So it worked out perfectly. Oh my God, so cute. And then I'm going to Morocco with my...

my two friends and my dad and his girlfriend. Just for fun? Yeah, for fun. Oh my God. I heard it's like so beautiful. We just had someone that was Moroccan. Poki means Moroccan and she was from there and she's like loves it. I've heard it's amazing. I haven't been either but I'm like, oh, gorge. And then I'm planning my sister's getting married in October. Oh my God. So I'm her maid of honor.

Wow. So I'm planning her bachelorette. So the weekend after I get home from Morocco is her bachelorette. Where's that going to be? Miami. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, you're like never going to be home. So, and then after that, my mom's birthday trip is in Nantucket.

So we're all going to Nancy. Okay, that's boosh. Oh my, you're literally going everywhere. I know. Good thing you are a TikToker because you can vlog. This is so much content too, you know? Not only is it fun, it's like content. It'll be really fun. Yeah. But I know everyone's going to be like, what about your dogs? So my dad, so I grew up with two black labs. So we like always love dogs. My dad loves having dogs. So he lives in Connecticut. Oh, perfect. In like the countryside. Yeah. And I think it's so important for my dogs to like go to the countryside and

roam free because in New York they're on a leash and like they don't really go to the dog parks because there are a lot of vicious dogs in New York and they've gotten attacked so many times so I just get scared um

Vicious people in New York, too. Everyone's getting attacked there. It's, like, so scary. We love New York, but also, like, stay safe. I know. I'm like, doggies, you can go back to the countryside where it's safe. Yeah. But they love it. Like, they go to the beach and go swimming. Oh, nice. That's, like, yeah, so bougie. So it's, like, the best of both worlds because my dad doesn't want to, like, commit to a full-time dog. Yeah. But he's, like, so happy to have them for, like, a month or two. Yeah. He's like, I get the kids for the summer. I'm like, the kids are going to grandpa's.

That's so fun. Oh, yeah. No, and then you just like live your life too and do all that stuff. Yeah. It'll be very eventful. Oh, my God. You really don't have like a break. I feel like what you're doing is so good, right? Like this is your single era, but you're also just so busy. I am very busy. I just don't even feel like how do you have time for anything else but you, which is good. You should be a complete selfish – But that's the thing. I'm like I need to –

like focus on my like loving to be alone but also I'm never alone right now so I'm like I'm going to this trip and this place but you know those moments of solitude that you do have I think are like so important and you realize that. And when I do have time alone by myself it just feels even more like wow I'm by myself because I'm never by myself. Right. You appreciate it more. I appreciate it more. That's the

introvert in you where you're just like this is kind of nice too. Exactly. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited. And then I'm just excited to see everything. So when you go to these events you like style yourself too or you have a stylist? I'll get a stylist for some things. Or like can. Are you like doing the carpet? Are you doing that big like carpet? It depends. Um.

We're like figuring out with like some fashion brands and stuff, but that would be a dream. Oh my gosh. You are, you have like lucky girl syndrome for sure. And I think the manifesting, all of that stuff is like so big into it. You're putting in so much work, first of all, like meetings back to back, flying here, even coming here. It's just like you're booked and busy. So I think putting in the hard work is important, but I think you're just such like an inspiration to people on so many levels, right? Like just being plucked into like TikTok famed, now being this runway model. Oh, thank you.

And it's doing so much. It's really amazing. I think it's important just to like show people though that you can come from not being super wealthy or not like living this lifestyle and still make it here. Like,

When COVID hit, like right before that, I was painting my mom's boyfriend's house. I would go and I would wake up at 5 a.m. because I wanted to get a TikTok up before like my day of painting his house. So I'd wake up at 5 a.m. and do my TikTok and then I would go to his house and paint all day.

And I would also do gardening. So I would like mulch and like dig the trenches like around his like garden. Wow. And yeah, I would have like the wheelbarrow filled with like all the mulch and stuff. What? Did you know how to do it or you had to learn to do it? No, I knew how because like when I was younger, my dad would make us do like gardening and chores with him. Oh, I kind of love that. But I feel like people see this life of me and they like don't see where I came from and they're just like, oh, like whatever. Like, I don't know. I grew up very –

I don't know, different than what people think. Like we would go camping all the time and hiking. Military life. They're like, you hike? And I'm like, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. And I think people just have this vision in their head of me, but. Yeah, they don't know where you came from. Yeah, just work hard and I don't know. You can create any dream life from anything because like, yeah, you think like growing up in the military, you're like,

wouldn't be doing fashion or anything like that or just because it doesn't sound like you had any connections either like your family to have connections zero having no connections is extremely hard yeah you know that's why I always think like good for an epo baby is like I would love to have that connection but when you don't that would be so nice right just like being a being a runway model and having the connections maybe if you have kids maybe then they can have be then get the benefits of it but it's a lot of work that you put in my kids will be lucky yeah

No, I love it. I'm going to make them do their chores. Are you? You're going to be like, we're going to mulch. We're going to do all that stuff like that. No, I won't make them mulch. But like, I think it's important to like set those boundaries and make them have those like morals and their –

because otherwise they're just going to not understand. They won't appreciate it later too. They actually have to work hard in life regardless. I think that's so true. And I think that's true for nepo babies. I think that's true for regular people. Yeah, even the nepo babies, like they still have to work hard. Yeah. Like they can't just sit there and do nothing. Like, yeah, they might get it a little bit easier, but they still have to work really, really hard. Yeah, for sure. Getting up at like one in the morning. And I know it doesn't sound like crazy for people, but I mean, and again, different varieties of hard work, but it's true.

It's really amazing everything you do and I'm so excited to see everything. I'm glad you didn't let those kids in high school stop you from doing your social media dreams. Like, you just can't listen to the haters. Yeah. You can't. I think that's the best message you have. Don't listen to the haters. Be yourself. Don't listen to the haters. And challenge yourself. I think that was another. You're honestly, you could write a book of life advice because I,

because at just such a young age you have so much like wisdom and you're doing so much and I'm like truly in awe of it I definitely will be adding a lot of my advice into the book too because I think it's important it's just so smart too and it's also coming from someone I love learning from people younger for me because it's just they have such a different perspective on life and I think that's like so important to learn too I can learn so many from like older people but like the young generation like you said they kind of know they're like changing the way they really are you know I'm all for it even people younger than me I'm like whoa like they're so smart some

Some of the, oh my God, some of the 18-year-old TikTokers and stuff, like the Charlie D'Amelio's, I was just like, it's actually amazing what they can do. And I'm like so enamored by all of them. Or the people even younger, the 16-year-olds coming up. It's crazy. It's amazing. And it's beautiful. And I love that you're sharing all of it. And you're such a girl's girl. And thank you for making time to come here. Thank you for having me. Are you kidding me? I was so excited. This is so fun. When she told me that she represented you, I was like, I love Meredith B. Senn in the meeting too. I was like, the girl

with all the foundation because he watches you but like you know didn't know my name and I was just like I was so excited so no it's so fun to also meet other people in the industry and like connect and just like get each other's point of views and oh it's so inspiring it's just like an inspiring thing I'm like wow you're really doing it all I was like let's get a self tape going I need a self tape too I want to know more about you now oh my god

thing to uncover but I'd be asking you a million questions but this would be like four hours long yeah yeah if you do your podcast I'll come in the makeup mirror with you and try your foundation wait that would be so fun the new foundation I like this one I'm like something I can do you're like something a little more natural yeah no I'm gonna live the glam but I can't do it you know myself so um you guys check out Meredith literally everywhere TikTok she's going to Cannes this summer she is everywhere thank you for having me on the podcast thank you for having me and thank you guys for watching and we'll see you next time