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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
a few shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Compliments to all you Kieran. Hover your way into the stinky dragon and quaff our latest coffee. Horse to be reckoned with.
It's a mixture of legendary berries, sacred fire sugar cubes, cavalry cold brew, half and hoof topped with crop whipped cream and sprigs of smite. One swig of this swill will have you chomping at the bit of the beyond.
Previously, our adventurers were bombarded with the reality that blood is thicker than water, and none more than the horrendous emo goblin. However, a harrowing row with our heroes freed a winded weezer trapped inside the gory gobby. To top it off, Chip found a fresh fanny pack note from his lost lover, Carol. Bring over a brew and buckle up for this bedtime tale. ♪
You're showing you're American by pronouncing it row. It's a row. Row? Yeah. Row. What's a row? It's what them British people call a fight. A row? Oh.
They say lots of words wrong. I'm not going to listen to them. Hello, everyone. My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I'm your dungeon master. They need to learn how to speak English in England. I'm your dungeon master of our putrid party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Pew, pew, pew. This week's role-playing warm-up question is, if funds were low or your currency was no good somewhere, what's a job or task your character could slash would do for some coin?
I will start. Well, hello, I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play Elga Von Brass, the half-elf vampire barbarian. And I think if Elga was looking for a little side job or extra coin here and there, she would join the local mover company because she could do that all by herself. Maybe not drive the truck, but she could lift anything and everything. Check it out, boys. That's true. Elga is strong. Yeah. But she can't drive.
Hey there, it's me, Chip Painey. Blurble, blurble, everyone. Blurble, blurble. Happy blurble, blurble to you. You know, if the money got a little low, an easy one is, you know, murder for hire. But, you know, outside of that, I always liked, you know, teaching the youths how to play the hacky.
You know, a sacker, football, even hacky sack. All the sports. You know, I got that. I've been told I've got big camp counselor energy and I'd like to tap into that there. Why don't you just be a camp counselor? Why? You know, I can't murder children. You know, that's what I'm good at. What? I like murder.
Murder and teaching children sports. They go hand in hand. That's right. I'm Chris Damaris and I play Barney Farney, the human cleric. And I think I like to carve little trinkets out of wood. I could sell those to...
And your little kids, and adults if they like them. Can I have one of your little wooden figures, Barney? Of course. Make sure it's not pointed on the end. Oh, yeah. Make sure it's not in any cross form. And then I also, I like walking around. So maybe I could give tours of around.
Hey, make money doing what you love, right? That's what they say. Is there anything Barney would want to give a tour of specifically or just like any tour in general? Any tour. Let's just walk around and say that that's a house and that's a bush. And that's, you know, just I remember back in this place used to have a different sized cart. Now it's a bigger cart. Wow. Stuff like that. Where do we line up? Yeah.
I like the idea that Barney doesn't charge for it. It's just like his morning walk that people happen to follow him on. My name is John Reisinger and I play Matty Confucius, the era Cochrane ghost monk. And as I was in my bakery, obviously, that is where we found me in the story. If I wasn't working at a bakery, I would love to be a, what you call a...
perfume use a perfumer the art of pressing and distilling the essence of scents from unique objects yeah the irony of John giving this answer to I love it yeah it's always seemed like such a lovely calling I just wear the old Irish Springs there been doing it for years
Hasn't changed a bit. Yummy outdoor smells. Chip strikes me as a coast kind of guy, not necessarily an Irish spring kind of guy. I don't know if I'm familiar with coast. Is it too old? Too old guy? Yeah. That's that's Barney's bag. Oh, that should be Elga's bag. Oh, there you go. Oh, I get it. Thank you. I appreciate the acknowledgement.
The Hema Goblin roars in agony. Ha ha! Fortune favors even the foolish now and then.
But mark my words, next time, I'm going for the jugular. And with a splash, the Gemo Goblin vanishes into the waterfall, and just like that, every wellspring turns back to fresh water. I want to catch whatever body was inside it. Nothing falls out of it. However, after a second, you hear hacking and wheezing, and someone emerges from behind the waterfall. You all recognize him. It's Weezer. Chief Inspector Weezer? Chief Inspector Weezer. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I pat the chief inspector on the back to help him get the butt out. Thank you. That was a nice trick, by the way. Thank you, Scott. That was my first time using it. Chief Inspector Weezer
What is he doing inside that hemogoblin? He seems to be struggling for his breath. He's like retching up, coughing up blood. He's like pointing out, giving like a wait sign. He's turning one of the blood methods. You all look down and notice your clothes are no longer drenched in blood, but damp with water. We were baptized. What is this? As you're wringing out your vestments and drying off, Chip, you notice your fanny pack zipper is open.
What the heck? You check inside to make sure nothing has fallen out, but the opposite is true. You find a note. On the outside is familiar floral penmanship that reads, To Chip, from Carol. My wife! Gas! Bum, bum, bum.
I want to read it. Well, the notes written in Thieves' Cant, which I think we have established Chip does read. You were able to read them out before. That's right. Carol could write in Thieves' Cant, which is even more impressive. She's so talented that Carol, she could write and speak in all the pretty flowery languages you could imagine. Thieves' Cant is a pretty floral language. Oh, yeah. It sounds like... That's canon now.
So what's the letter say? The note reads, to Chip from Carol. I want to read it. Give it to me. Send it to me. Okay, one second. I'll slack it. Is he reading it out loud to all of us or just to himself? No, that's up to him. What do you have there, Chippa boy? I can tell by the smell it's from my beautiful wife, Carol, who is hopefully not dead. Maybe not telling it from the fact that it says to Chip from Carol that you could tell it from Carol.
All right, it says... I'm going to try to get through this. To Chip from Carol. Address is only the beginning. He has the Book of Daybreak. Go to Lihim's Library. Find the Book of Evenfall. My talons lie elsewhere. Our love cannot be sheathed. P.S. A gift lies in the stars. As you're reading the note out to everyone, the mummy chimes in and says, Of course.
I can't believe I didn't see it before with all these plagues. Hadeem must have the Book of Daybreak. But what's his endgame? And why is my wife involved? What the heck? What a beautiful note. So sweet. Was Carol always involved in all of this? Oh, do you have like a short five to ten hours to talk about my beautiful wife? I'll tell you everything about her. I sure do. Okay, well, basically, to keep things short...
No, I want the full five hours. Okay, all right. It all began on a stormy night. I was on assignment targeting in a ne'er-do-well, and as I approached the target, someone else was there, too. We got into a rough-and-tumble exchanging of the fisticuffs, and I removed her hood, and she removed mine from my shouldy. It's a shirt. Meet with a hoodie. Shouldy wear it, shouldy not. Anyhoo...
It was a beautiful woman and we had kind of this, you know, back and forth for a while where I'd take one of her key targets and she'd take one of mine and that's kind of our, you know, love language, just stealing each other's murders. And eventually we decided, what the heck, let's go get a coffee there at the Tim Hortons and some donuts. And her name was Carol. We fell in love and
We decided to leave our life of assassination behind us and start anew. And then she bought me a bird named Skipper and he bites me a lot. And the rest is history. Thank you. Wow, those five dollars flew by.
Hey, everyone. New chip lore just dropped. Hot chip lore. I came up with all that just now, but that sounds like right to me. I hope I didn't mess up my gut. You can go ahead and update his Wikipedia page. Blaine's going to remember all of that, and he will totally abide by it. Especially if it's on the Wikipedia page, then he'll definitely remember it.
Also, Chris requested that I share the letter with you, so I sent it to you guys over Slack in case you want to read it. Oh, thank you. You, the note takers of the group. So it sounds like we need to go to the IMS library. That is what the note says. So does anyone know where to find this? Mommy? Why wouldn't your lovely wife, Carol, stop and say hi? There's got to be something amiss, Barney. You know that she doesn't normally act like this. She's fallen back to her old assassin ways. So...
Some troubles are brewing, and I need to help her. What in the blazes are you all talking about? Where are we? Who is Hadid, and where is the alchemist? Oh, and it's an absolute pleasure to see you once again, Pharaoh Rajad. Weezer bows low, and the mummy nods approvingly at the plump man. Chief Inspector...
I know this must all be confusing, but suffice to say we are all working together to get to the bottom of this conspiracy. I'm afraid someone has taken control of the throne and means to unleash a scourge upon the land. Perhaps he has your friend, the Alchemist. Regardless, we will no doubt need reinforcements. Perhaps you can go back into town and make contact with your coughs.
Bring as many as you can. Yes, madam, right away. Weezer turns to you. And as for you four, more speed to you all. Gives you all a very curt salute and then runs off. So we're friends with Weezer? He's not chasing us no more? No, you all kind of had a reconciliation before you got on the train back in Maskettan.
Best of luck, Chief Inspector Weezer. If you want, I mean, you all are at, you know, this wellspring of wellness. It's kind of a spa. You're free to take a short rest if you want. Love to. I'll take a long rest if you want.
Shall we? Let's take a nap. Is there reasons why we can't take a long rest is my question. I guess if you wanted to speed along to try to stop Hadi and try to get things resolved as quickly as possible. Taking a short rest then to expeditiously deal with these plagues? Yes. Okay. I don't feel too good. Yeah, I'm all out of hit die, but that's okay. If you're out of hit die, you can immerse yourself in the fresh well springs if you want and rejuvenate yourself that way. Take a little dip, Barney. Here we go.
I will dunk you in. I'll hold you because we don't have your water wings with you today. I'll go do the thing where she holds Barney under the armpits and like slushes him around in the water. If you take a dip in the wellspring to rejuvenate yourself, you can recover two hit die plus your constitution modifier of healing. Now we're talking.
Matty takes a really lovely dive up into the air and like does some twirls and flips and then jumps into the water and makes like no splash whatsoever. Chip holds a sign that says 10. It's a birdbath now. I'm back to full glass. Do I get my, that there hellish rebuke? Once per long rest. That hellish rebuke really did come in handy.
Glad I stored it up for a rainy day. It was used at the perfect time, it seemed like. Yeah. It feels good on my bones. Barney, put your bones back in. You're not supposed to leave them out. At your age, that's terrible. All right, we're all rested, right? Everyone's good? Oh, yeah. Yes. Okay. And it does sound like from this note that Hadi, the headdress was only the beginning, so maybe they plan to steal more things and have more control. Oh, no. So we should definitely get going. The whole outfit.
The shoes are next. Chip is anxious. He wants to find his wife. Let's get moving. Chop, chop. Here we go, Tim. Come on. Let's go. I'm jogging in place. Hey, hey, whoa. Come on. Hey. I hold everybody back to see if he knows where he's going. I'm just running in circles until I find a direction. Mommy, mommy, point me in the right direction. I'm ready to go. I'm a cannonball firing. Here we go. I thought you were saying mommy. Mommy. All right.
Well, you guys need to travel through the crowded city, but you need to do it, you know, discreetly. So we're going to do a group deception check to see if you all are able to successfully discreetly navigate the city. So everyone roll a deception check. I rolled a one. That's a five. I rolled a six. Fifteen. Barney, it's up to you. This is going to determine it. Fourteen.
Don't you have disadvantage on deception checks? No, only stealth. All right. So, yeah, you all are able to navigate the city. Yeah, discreetly. Anytime you are accosted with a local, you're able to make a fib and quickly get out of the way so that they don't investigate and they don't see through your disguises.
Yeah. And we have those tattoos and everything too. So fit right in. Chip keeps a close eye out for Carol. She snuck up on me once. She's playing hard to get, but I'm going to find her. Oh,
I was going to say for clarification, that person that bumped me in the, in the crowd, that was, was that like a messenger or was that Carol? Like, was that, I don't know. I didn't get a good look at them. Do you? You're the, you're, he doesn't just tell us stuff. You know that at this point, we've been playing this for a while. He's God. He knows all. He does. Micah knows all. I just read. Yeah.
You make your way back out of the cavern into the streets of Kahree and instantly feel the afternoon sun beat down on your necks. You notice more and more locals coming out from hiding now that the blood has turned back to water. You cross the main canal to the southeast and immediately spot a two-story building towering above the surrounding homes. As you get closer, you find a side that reads Lahim's Library. The mummy leads you all through the entrance made of revolving glass panels. Everyone go ahead and roll a perception check.
- Got it. - Six. - Eight. - 21. - 14. - Chip and Elga, you enter a tiled lobby and breathe in the musty smell of old homes and dusty. A bug flies into your open mouth and you start choking. Both of you. - Oh no. - Did we both choke on the same bug? - I don't know. I think it came into my mouth and I coughed it out. It went to your mouth. - Gross.
Barney, you find the creaking of aged shelves and trickling of water soothing as you look around the spacious layout of the library. To the east are lofty stacks that reach the next floor. To the west are a few desks near a dribbling fountain and a spiral staircase. Mateed, you happen to peer further down the hall and to the northeast you see a massive brass globe surrounded by shelves of parchment. To the northwest you spot a corner of cubbies stocked with scrolls.
And you hear something besides creaking shelves and trickling water. It sounds like a mixture of chirping and buzzing. So we came in from the south? Correct. Okay. The birds and the bees, I see. Be vigilant, my friends. We don't know what perils await us amongst these tomes. We would do well to find the Book of Evenfall and get out.
Do you know what section that's in? Who's the author? How do they arrange this place? Is it by alphabetical order of title or is there an ISBN number? The Book of Evenfall would most likely be in the non-fiction section. Oh. Are your libraries regularly dangerous?
No, but on the same token, our city is not normally dangerous either. Oh, okay. Is this one of those libraries that's got, like, the ladders that go on the rails and you get to zoom around like you're Belle from Princess the Beauty and the Beast? I love that movie, Princess Beauty and the Beast. But that one, but you've read it twice. Well, it's my favorite.
So there is a spiral staircase on the western wall that wraps around a tree that goes up to the next floor. But then to the east by those stacks I mentioned, those stacks do rise up to the next floor. So yeah, there would be a ladder there that moves around to allow you to access the books on the higher shelves. I jump on that. Okay, well, he does that. I'm just going to... Fine, you can do that. I'm sauntering over to the desk, taking it slow.
Okay, you're sauntering over to like the study area where those cubbies and those desks were. Oh, so it's like desks as in multiple. It's not like a librarian's desk. Yeah, to the west is like a few desks near that fountain. And that might be what you were talking about. It's not like a central desk.
It's more like where people would take books to read them or study. Yeah, I'll head over there anyways. Okay, so Chip goes over to the ladder where the stacks are, which is on the east wall. Mateed heads over to the west where the cubbies are, like the desk, little study area. What do Barney and Elga do? Barney will go with Chip. Okay. What did you say was to the east again when you were describing the room? It's the stairs and like northeast, there's this glow.
Yes. So to the east is where the stacks are. That's where Chip and Barney went. Okay. Where's the stairs then? The stairs are on the west side. Yeah. On the side I'm going to where the desks are as well? Correct. The stairs are like north of those desks. Okay. Thank you. Then yeah, there's like a big globe on the northeast corner. I'll go look at the globe.
but not before sticking my foot out right by the ladder where Chip is swinging on it. So I trip him. I counter that trip with my athleticism. I do a backflip, do a forward flip. Roll off, roll off. You're going to try to knock Chip off of the ladder? Mm-hmm. All right, I guess you just have to stick your foot out for that. Just make a dexterity check just to get your foot in the way. 17.
Oh yeah, you're able to plant your foot down there. Chip, I guess you also make a... I'll give you the choice, a dexterity or strength check to either hold your balance or hold on firmly to the ladder and keep from falling. Check, not saving throw? Check. Dexterity or strength. They are both the same. We're going to go with dexterity. And you will get me now! Twelve.
Yeah, that's good enough. Elga sticks her foot out and stops the ladder as you're rolling around. Gives you quite a jolt. You come to a sudden stop, but you're able to keep your feet under you, Chip, and keep from tumbling down. I do slide down, and I want to address the group before we all disperse, and I say, Guys, I don't mean to be rude, but we are in a library, so from henceforth, until we leave the library, I think we should be whispering, just to be kind to the other people that are here. I agree. That sounds like...
Sounds like a good plan, Jim. Yeah, you gotta lower the voice, okay? Mateed, does that sound kosher to you? That is fine with me. I can abide by these rules. Good, good, good. All right. And break. And then I silently clap. Okay, so I'm going over to the desks with the fountain. Barney's going with Chip, which I don't know what Chip's goal is now that he's been knocked on the stacks. And you're going to the globe.
So what do we see? Just to clarify, I may have substituted one word for another one. The desks that you're going to are like kind of in the southwest corner, Mateed. I think I may have called them cubbies one time. There are cubbies with scrolls up in the northwest corner. Where you said you're going to the desks, that's the southwest corner. So I just want to make sure that the layout is clarified for everyone. So then somewhere between the desks and those scrolls is where the stairs are. Correct. Exactly. Thank you. Along the west wall. The west wing. Who wants to go through their section first?
Elga. All right. Elga walks up to the northeast. Shh, Elga. There you go. And you see here what attracted your attention, obviously. There's a large globe-like sphere of intersecting brass rings.
So it's not like a world globe. No, some sort of art. Elga, make an intelligence check. Oh, dear. What's that on our barbarian? So good, I can't even find it. It's at my head.
- Roger, great start. - I bet you this might be the first time barbarians ever had to roll this. - Oh, good roll, Barb. Good roll. - I rolled a one and then I have a negative one. So I rolled zero. - So you're not sure what this is. This must be some kind of big sphere for use in a sport or a game of some kind. - Oh.
How big is it? Did you give a dimension? I did not, but it's large. It's really big. It's probably, if I had to guess, let's say it's 20 foot diameter. Whoa, big, big thing. Yeah, massive with huge brass rings circling around it. And Elga thinks it's a sports equipment piece. Maybe these are slides. I didn't realize that libraries had water parks in them. Could I at least like...
observe how they look like how they're intertwined like are they just like ring ring ring are they kind of like old AT&T logo or are they going around in different ways like maybe like a solar system and it's like the paths of the planets and the moons yeah something like that like could I at least like visually look at them to yeah it seems like they all go in different directions not AT&T logo they're kind of mishmash all over the place okay
And it's all like brass, you said, or gold? Yeah, giant brass rings that all intersect. Is there any like plaque or like text information near this thing? No, there is not. However, kind of behind it, there are some shelves that appear to contain some kinds of charts. It's like papers. Should I go look at them?
Yeah, there's like shelves of various charts and maps and a lot of them appear to be missing or torn to shreds. Uh-oh. Make an investigation check, Elga. Another strong suit. Oh, I have advantage on this because... You have like something of minute seeing, don't you? Yeah, I have the... Those are her tiny eyes. That's what's like, what is that from? Eyes of minute seeing. It's the crystal lenses.
Beanie bad eyes. It's the item thing. First one is a four. Next one's a 16. Yay. Oh, that's much better. You find a few things here amongst the charts and maps. You find like some insect wings and some dust. Maybe it's like one of the insects that you inhaled earlier. You find a sky chart labeled... Oh God, I have to read French. Uh...
Tempelkache des Moines et Classe Astral. It's difficult to decipher, but maybe, you know, someone with a higher intelligence score might be able to take some time and figure it out. Or maybe someone who speaks French in the group. Who does that? Me.
You also find a sky chart labeled Gold of Under Globula. The upper half of it is ripped off. Gold of Under Globula. Yeah. Could I take the piece that remains? Yeah, the bottom half of the chart. Okay, Elgo goes to rip it off the wall. Gently. This one's not on the wall. It's like in a shelf, so you can just grab it. Yeah. So what should I put in my inventory? Just like piece of chart? Yeah, just write Gold of Under Globula. It's spelled just like how it sounds. I figured. Yeah.
We're gonna have our own like language by the end of this campaign. Blurble, blurble. Give me the gold of globula. So many words. Globula. Yeah. It's like Dracula, but like a glob. Can I look around and see if there's anything else worth noting? That's about all that catches your attention here. Okay.
I head back to the center of the room. Okay. Who wants to go next? I think Mateed had also expressed interest. You want to go next, Mateed? Yeah, let's do it. You know, this is all happening simultaneously while Elga's up there staring at the sports equipment. You walk over and there's a handful of ironwood desks with parchment, pens, and books. And there's a bubbling fountain of fresh water with a smattering of coins on the fountain's floor. Hmm?
It's a weird place to put a fountain near a library. Kind of perfect, though, too. That ambience. Water with delicate scripts. That's a good thing. They always say, more moisture inside of libraries. Yeah, it's good for it. You don't want your paper drying out. Ha ha!
I'd like to check to see if there's anything of interest on these desks. Any, like, books or letters? Make an investigation check. That's a nine. Yeah, you go through and nothing seems to really catch your eye. It's just...
Pretty generic. Like I said, parchment pens, various books, nothing out of the ordinary. I want to look in the fountain. Yeah, you take a look in the fountain and, you know, there's a few coins on the bottom of the fountain. That's it? Just like regular money? Yeah. No exotic coins as far as you can tell. I toss a single copper in. Oh, yeah. You toss a copper in and you instantly feel heartier. Heartier? Yeah. Like, I don't know, like you got a little pep in your step. Oh, okay. Magic fountain. Ooh.
Mm. Mateed is one to try and experiment and tosses in two more. Oh, actually, I'm looking at your character sheet right now, Mateed. The exhaustion you're suffering from is gone. Oh. Well, congrats. That's good. I've totally been abiding by that the entire time. Totally forgot you were suffering from exhaustion. I'm sure I was supposed to do disadvantage on a few of those checks, but don't worry, I've been doing bad on rolls anyway, so...
Okay, so it got me hearty with the water. Man, I don't find nothing over here, do I? There's some scrolls above me, right? Yeah, there's like a little cubby with various scrolls. Well, since I ain't got jack squat in these desks, can I go up there and just see if I see anything good? Yeah, we'll deal with that after we deal with Chip and Barney because all that, this initial searching is all happening simultaneously.
So while those two things are going on, Chip and Barney, what are you guys doing? Okay, now, Barney, we're here on the bookshelves. I'll look at the upper half, and you look at the bottom half, and we'll scan it together as you push me on this ladder down the row of books, and we're looking for the Book of Evenfall. Okay, that sounds like a good plan. Now, hold on. Can we look and push and look and push? Yeah, I guess both of you make investigation checks.
Be careful on that ladder. I like the mischievous nature. Got distracted. I rolled a five. I got distracted. I rolled a three. This is going great. You didn't have any important clues in this room you needed us to see, right? You'd be fine if we just blow through this room. So you approach the stack of books, and there's bookshelves, and there's a plaque that reads, FICTION.
Many of the books appear to be tattered or missing. So you both, you know, begin your search, but you're just having so much fun with the latter, pushing yourselves back and forth. You're really not paying attention to anything in the stack, so nothing really stands out. You know, Barney, I've been so caught up trying to find Carol, the love of my life. I've never asked you, have you ever, you know, had a special someone in your life? I think I have. Yeah.
Yes. You don't recall? You don't remember? It's hard sometimes to remember.
Mysterious. Wow. Okay. I'm trying to remember. I'm trying to remember. I just... I was drinking something when you said that. You almost made me spit out everything on my keyboard. Joe, I have an important quest. It's just hard to remember what it was. Is there anything I can do to jog their memory? Or, you know, like, do you got any clues that we could follow? I want to help you out here, Barney. You're helping me find Carol. Yeah.
Yeah, I just know I'm supposed to save someone. Okay, well. Maybe even more than one. I don't know. All right, well, we're gonna put a pin in that. I'm sure that's an adventure for a later day. I should probably get on that. I need to go. Oh. I gotta go. Does Barney leave? Yeah. Okay. Oh, where does Barney walk towards? I think he just walks, looks for the exit.
Okay, I mean, you would walk, you're still relatively close to it. You can walk back to that lobby area. You all kind of like walked into the lobby then proceeded. So yeah, you walk back to the lobby and there's like, you know, a worn leather couch and a little dusty table with a book on it. I don't know if you want to take a seat or what Barney wants to do. Do we look at that book?
Uh, no, I kind of also brushed past it because it was just where you all entered. But no, there is a book sitting on top of that table there. Swear to God, if it's the Book of Everfall, Evenfall, I'm going to scream. Can I check it? Yeah, make an investigation check. Two books for much, right? Book of Evenfall, Book of Daybreak? Six! Book of Daybreak, yeah. We're looking for Evenfall. Yeah. You know, nothing seems exceptional about it. You take a look at the cover to see if this is the book you're looking for. And the cover reads, Grapes of Wraith. Nice.
There's a bookmark in the middle of the book. Oh, can I go to where the bookmark is? Yeah, you go to where the bookmark is and there's a slightly torn page and the bookmark itself is a library card. Oh, and what's on it? You pull it out of the book, I assume, to like look at it, investigate it. So yeah, when you pull it out of the book to look at it, you flip it over and on the back it reads, beg, borrow, but never steal. Beg, borrow, but never steal. Does it have a name on it or anything? You turn it back over to look at the front and it now has a picture of you and your name on the front.
Oh. What? It says Barney Farney. Is this a magic book card? I've got a library book.
Card. You got overdue charges on that there? Can I go back to Chip? Do you not want to see the ripped page or anything like that? Well, yeah, was the ripped page stand out in any way? No, there was nothing particularly interesting about it. Most likely just wherever the previous person was reading and they stepped away. I like how they instead of they have a bookmark that they use to mark their place in the book, but they also rip the page out to mark where they were in the book. Yeah, there's nothing stands out. Can't go back to Chip.
Sure. I might need your help. Oh, you're back. Okay. On my quest. Okay. It's going to be hard. I don't think I can do it by myself. Well, Barney, we've got your back, you know? I mean, we've been through thick and thin, and we've got more adventures to come. So we're here for you, Barney. Thank you. What you got there? I found a library card. We check out a book. Now we don't have to steal it. Can I take a look at the library card? Yeah. Yeah.
what does it say is it still say barney do you hand it to him barney yeah you hand it over to chip initially you look at it and it you know it's got a picture of barney and says barney farney you read the back it says beg borrow but never steal then when you flip it back to the front it's got your picture chip and it says chip haney barney well how did you get my library card here it says chip haney that's weird it must be magic a magic library you know barney you know what i think all
All library cards are magic and everyone should get one. And I look into the camera of the audio podcast listeners mind and I say, you should go to the library. And then a rainbow appears over Chip's head and just says, knowledge is power. Knowledge is power.
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Can I look again for another book? Any other books or anything else in this area besides books? Chris is asking if you can do an investigation check and this is again in the same place. Yeah, but I'm going to put a pause on that because now all of this would have happened while everything else is happening. We can go back to Elga at this point because Elga went first. What's Elga doing? Good God, Elga's on top of the giant 22 meter wide...
Elga wants to go look at that cubby with the squirrels. Okay, yeah, that's pretty close to where you are. On the side where Mateed is? Yeah, I'll say Mateed was heading up there too, so you both get there at about the same time. Both Elga and Mateed meet at this cubby. Did you see that giant sports thingy in the corner? Is it behind that giant art piece of brass? No, it is that thing. Oh, okay. Is that used in a sport in your life? It's very shiny. Okay.
You're a very funny little girl. Mateed, make an intelligence check for me. Because you're talking to me. Dang, five. Yeah, that's definitely not a sports ball, but you're not... Yeah, it's an art piece. Yeah, it's artistic. So you all meet here. And we're checking the scrolls. Yeah, you're in the corner and there's like wooden cubby holes containing pristine spell scrolls. Oh, spell scrolls. Yeah. I grab one and open it up. Yeah, you grab one and...
open it up you try to read it i assume like to yourself to understand what it is yeah just internally make an arcana check about to level up like zelda style you're about to get a new magic power 11 i don't have magic yeah you're not a you're not a caster right correct it's all arcana stuff it's difficult to try to make out it's good we got us two over here mati turns to elga do you understand what is on this scroll
Let me take a look-a-see. You can make an Arcana check as well, Elika. Okay. Checking on the wrappings, girl. You have a negative one on Arcana.
It's also an 11. Yeah, so combined, 22. What do we know about this one? Yeah, it's just some kind of spellcasting script. Neither of you are casters. You've never really taken the time to look at archaic or archaic writings before, so it doesn't look familiar to you. I would say maybe if you keep trying, maybe if you keep looking at it, it might start to make sense to you. I'm going to keep looking at it harder. Okay.
It's like one of those magic eye posters. You have to cross your eyes and look beyond the paper. It's getting clearer. 13. Oh, I know why you couldn't read it. It's a scroll of blur. Blur? Oh, it's like blurry text. It casts blur. Yeah, it's a spell scroll that casts blur. Silly. Oh.
If we squint and have like our eyes like a little unfocused, can we tell what it says? From a metagaming perspective, blur is a spell that makes your body become blurred, like shifting and wavering to anyone who sees you. So anyone who's attacking you has disadvantage on attack rolls. And how do you like...
initiate the spell. You could just use up scrolls. Yeah, you read it. Since you made a 13-iron check, I'll say we're going to kind of homebrew scrolls a little bit to make them a little more accessible. In traditional D&D rules, they're kind of difficult to use and you have to be a spellcaster. We're going to modify that mechanic a little bit. Ooh.
that allows you to just make an arcana check that's DC 10 plus spell level to be able to cast a scroll. Matt Mercer's listening to this right now and he throws his headphones off. Sorry, Matt. I have a question about that. If you don't make the spell check, is the scroll used and disappears? It's a one
one-off that we failed on it? Yeah. That is an excellent follow-up question. So, Micah wrote a table of scroll mishaps. If you fail to check things that could potentially go wrong by failing to make the check. I know I can't do this because it's going to use it, but could I just, like, use the scroll to test it and be like, Matisse, check me out!
It burns it up. You made the check. If you want to use it, I'll say you can use it. But yeah, it does exhaust it. How many are in there? You see a bunch of different scrolls. Oh, so this one happens to be blur. This particular one happens to be blur. Yes. Mateed goes and reaches for like another one or another two. These are gold. Yeah. Do you just like pocket them or do you want to try to read them to yourself? Yeah, I want to open up the next one to read it. Go ahead and roll an arcana check. That's a one. Ooh.
This one's even harder to read than the other one. I just put it in my pocket. All told, you know, now that you start pulling them out, I'd say there's eight scrolls in there. Can we get some of these scrolls? One of which is blur. You're over there. You're over there. The hoarding in this party. Unbelievable. Oh, oh, who started it?
Not me! I shared! When we went to the store and someone was like, "That weapon would be going great with me." I was like, "Go right ahead." I meant your money pilfering at the beginning of the campaign. You don't know anything about that. I loaned you money. When did you loan me money? Uh, Jacques needed cat food. Jacques. In my territory, we call him Jacques. For the... You said there's like eight total? Eight. Yeah, there's eight. Okay. I hand Elga four and I give me four.
And can we just know what we have now? Man. Sometimes we luck out depending on where we decide to go based off the room we are given. Yeah, I got a cat once. Mateed, roll me... This is just to divide them up. Roll me 4d8. That would be 7, 8, 3, and 4. Oh, perfect. No repeats. Yeah, you divvy up the scrolls and each of you take four. Cool. I'd say right around this time, as you all are finished putting up the scrolls, I'm going to cut back to the book boys. What are you two doing? Hmm.
Let me see. Well, after having a heart to heart about Barney's past and how he needs help on a secret mission, finding the magic library card. Yeah.
Yeah, and just a quick recap, you all are by the stacks to the east, just to the south of there is where you came in. That's where the lobby is where Barney initially found that library card. To the southwest from there is the desks where Mateed initially went. Straight west from you is the stairs going up to the next level. North of you is that big sphere. Look at the sphere. Just west of there to the northwest is the cubbies where Elga and Mateed are currently standing.
You want me to roll over to that big spear? Spear? It looks like Kelga got a little distracted. There might be something there. Meanwhile, I might hop up to the second floor and see what they got up there. You know, maybe they got some sport books. I can learn a little bit about the coaching the youths, you know? The youths. That's how I'll push the...
cart to the sphere? Or is that... Wait, was the sphere... We haven't been to the sphere, right? Sphere. Sphere. Elga went to the sphere. The ladder you're on does not go all the way over there to the sphere. The ladder you're on is just for the stacks of books that you're at. I'll join Barney over at the sphere. But Elga looked at the sphere? Elga looked at the sphere, but it seemed like it was very unresolved, so I think we should both go look at the sphere. Alright, let's go look at the sphere. Our sphere. Both of you make intelligence checks.
Definitely the party strong suit. Party's got okay intelligence. I get advantage when I put my hand on my chin, right? That's a 12. 18. Oh. Our cleric doesn't even have a modifier of plus. Well, normally clerics are more wisdom focused. Did we pick a party again that no one's intelligence based? Oh.
I knew I was playing a barbarian. We somehow totally mixed up. We've got different things, but we still haven't got an intelligence rich party. Hey there, I got the Riz, all right? I can talk to anybody anywhere and make friends no time. You're our top one because you have a plus one. Yeah, Chip has a 12 intelligence. He's the brainiac of the group. I went to Yamford. Ha ha ha!
I forgot about that. He is the only one who has a college degree. Yampford Community College. At least I have an excuse.
Both Chip and Barney, your rolls were decent enough. You recognize that this is an actual globe. Okay. And the different rings seem to represent various stars and constellations, maybe. Okay. Can I, like, touch the rings? Is there, like, some sort of, like, Indiana Jones-like puzzle where you click this into that place and this there, and then it goes, and it reveals a gate? It does remember that poem that says, "'A gift lies in the stars.'"
Oh, yeah. So maybe there's a gift there. Chip, you reach out and touch, you know, one of the brass rings, and they all begin spinning around and shining starry constellation projections onto the walls. After a moment, they slow down and stop. And onto the wall, they
They project a sheath. You said our love cannot be sheathed. The rings begin to fold, revealing a small gift box in the center of the globe. There's a tag on it. Oh, goody, goody. I go look at it. The tag reads, pour contents into fanny pack. Pour contents into fanny pack? Go to the table of contents. Yes.
Let's dump this in the fountain quick! I open the box and I pour the contents into my fanny pack. You open up the box and inside it appears to be, it looks like a great silvery sea swirling with sparkling stars. A sea? Like a water? Yeah. And it's just like swirling with stars everywhere. You pour it into your fanny pack. This better not be a prank, Carol, if you're here listening to this.
Now the inside of your fanny pack appears to also just be illuminated, like looking into deep space and just see stars everywhere. So basically anytime I open my fanny pack and look down, it just illuminates my face. Looking at a bright light. It's not like a bright light. It's just more like it's just like swirling stars. Cool.
Can I, like, stick a hand in it? Can we, like, see if it changed, like, the physics of it? Or, like... Yeah, you should totally put a part of your body in it. Barney, you reach out and stick your hand in. Oh, sorry. And it seems like the fanny pack is much deeper than it makes sense. Is this, like, one of them bags of holding? Yeah, it has been transformed into a bum bag of holding, a.k.a. the fanny pack of filling. Score! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Elga! Elga! I'm sorry to yell it in the library, but come here. I need to act like a kangaroo and you're my baby. Okay! Elga hops over. I start hopping around and I say, look at me, I'm a mama kangaroo. Matit is walking up the stairs.
Bum bag of holding. Is that something I can find in inventory? It should be, yeah. This is just adorable. So we still need to find the Book of Evenfall. They were in a fiction section, so I imagine we gotta go upstairs to where there's nonfiction. What was your thing, Barb? You had a page with constellations on it, right? There were charts, basically, yeah. And I took the rest of the pieces off the place it was, because there were some pieces that were taken.
It was a sky chart. Gold of under globula. That's all I know about it. I can hold up to 500 pounds. Although the bum bag will only weigh around five pounds in reality. Shall we go upstairs? I think Blaine's trying to find it in his inventory. Yeah, no, I found it. I'm just like looking through to see if there's any other like hints or anything like that. Basically like, uh,
It has like a connection to the astral plane. It can fold 500 pounds. I can put things in there. Breathing creatures inside the bum bag can survive up to a number of minutes equal to 10 divided by the number of creatures, minimum one minute, after which they begin to suffocate. Oh boy. And placing the bum bag holding inside another extra dimensional space or similar magic item instantly disintegrates both items and opens a gate to the astral plane.
So like, gotta be careful. This is kind of like a weapon of mass destruction here above my crotch. And she's sucked through it. Cool. Oh gee, Carol! Carol, my wife, I don't know if you can hear this, but that is a heck of a g- Thank you, honey. Happy Blurble Gerble Day. Blurble Gerble. I'll wait to hear a response.
Well, if you guys want to, like, store stuff now, I mean, you know, you got 500 pounds. Give all your stuff to Chip. Yeah. Honestly, I can, you know, carry a lot of stuff in this here bum bag. It's good to know. Maybe you put Carol in there when you find her. Oh, my Carol, I miss her so. And then you'll never lose her again. But she can't be in there for long because then she'll suffocate and that's not good. Okay, that's true.
Does everybody want to try the second floor? Yes. Before we do, what kind of things did you guys get into? There's nothing over here. I want to perceive if that's the case. You can make an insight check. It's funny that Chip would be so just like not trustworthy. Every time we go someplace, I buy drinks for the group. I am always the first to say, you guys buy this thing if you want it first.
Barney has incredible insight, but he's also very trusting in general. Trusting or gullible. Would you roll, Blaine? A 50. A 50? Wow. Divided by 10. Yeah, that's a 5. Yeah, doesn't seem like Mateed found anything. Barney has a plus 9 on insight. Really? What? Yeah, because of that staff of candor. He already had really high insight. Oh.
Let's go upstairs. Yeah. Everyone heads upstairs? Yeah. Why not? Yeah. All together, equally, as a party. Elgar walks up the stairs, clinking around with all the different scrolls in her pockets. Just the sound of paper wriggling against paper. Oh, did you check something out?
Yeah, you gotta have a library card. Yeah, so it's a spiral staircase circling a palm tree that leads to the second floor. What's the order y'all are walking in going up the staircase? Chip will go first because he's hoping that Carol is still somewhere around here. I'll go behind Chip. She's just playing hide and go seek. I'll let Elga go before me. Chip, Barney, Elga, Mateed.
All right. Chip and Barney, make perception checks. Killing me with these perception checks here. Oh, 18. I rolled a 12. Chip, as you're approaching the top of the stairs, you stop at the last second. You don't put your foot down because you realize on the floor, there's like scraps of bones spread across the floor. Hmm.
I motion for the group to stop and I turn back and I say, it's a bone yard up here. There's bones everywhere. Does it look like a battle took place? Like, is this a trap? Like if we stepped on something and move something, it would cause something to happen. It's just the kids play area they have at the top of the library. Of course, of course. A little Lord of the Flies action.
It's hard to tell. It just seems like... Well, one, first of all, there shouldn't be scraps of bones laid here. Like, that's unusual. If you stepped on them, they definitely would snap and make noise, which, again, unusual for a library. Okay, gang, we're going to have to play a classic game called The Floor is Lava, but instead of lava, it's bones.
Is there like a door or any places of interest that we... That was the lay of the room. Yeah, needed to navigate to. As you, you know, you turn back to talk to the party and you turn your attention back to look around the room. And as you do so, you see an obvious trail of innards and trails and blood leading from this area up to the north. All right, this is the adult nonfiction section. Uh...
Here in this area to the north, it appears like there's some shelving and seating to the east. Once again, more stacks of books. And then to the south appears to be an office of some sorts. And like a door to office or an office like is in the room, like a door to an office. Kind of want to go for the office. Yeah, me too. I want to check this stack of books. We got we got to do the split again. Team Carney.
I would have gone Charny, but yeah. Matip, where are you going? You said there was like entrails and something lead to someplace up north, like another door? Shelves to the north. Shelves to the north and seating. Yeah, then stacks to the east. Yeah. I will join Elga in that direction. I think Elga, weren't you going east? I was going east to the books. Oh, the stacks of books, not the shelves of books. Correct. I'll go north to the shelves and the entrails. Okay.
I'll kind of go clockwise around this time. We'll do Mateed, Elga, and then Charny. I would advise trying to avoid crunching the bones just in case it's a trap team. I fly and float. Look at you. Elga's small, so I feel like she can navigate around these pretty easily. What's that little game you do when you're jumping between squares? Hopscotch. Hopscotch. Pop bones. Okay.
Okay, Mateed, you take to the air and fly up to the north. Actually, I have to make this very clear. Mateed actually doesn't have to ever walk. Part of actually my character is I'm floating all the time. I walk just because I'm used to it. I actually don't have to touch the ground. Do you mean you're floating like as a ghost, but you walk because you're used to it? Okay. Cool flex. But I would imagine this doesn't mean like I can float wherever. I imagine there's limitations, but I can fly. So I head over to the books. Sorry. You float up.
up there to the north and what was once perhaps a section of shelves and seating has been overrun by decaying corpses and viscera. What? It's really disgusting. It's gross. So like, does it look like a battle was had here or that these things were just like combusted in their seats? Make a, let's call it a wisdom check. 12. Mediocre rolls my teeth. At least it's out of the single digits.
It looks like these bodies perished violently and there are like grubs crawling all throughout them. Like they've been here a while. So then there's them and then there's like a trail leading away from them? Leading up to this. Like remember you saw the blood and entrails from when you first came up the stairs. It leads up to here.
Okay. Do you want to see if there's any clothing or wrapping or something that would indicate who these people were? Yeah, I was going to ask, do these people resemble anything at this point? It looks like Karkasukans. Is there any sign of a weapon that did this? Is there a weapon around, you mean, on the ground with them? Yeah.
Yeah. And if there was any other way that I might discern, like, oh, that looks like a sword slash them or claw marks. I love the new season of CSI Mateed. Yeah. Make an investigation check. Mateed loves this. Big fan of the gray ghost. That Batman guy? That's a Batman guy. Eight. Nothing really stands out, but go ahead and make me a stealth check while you're here. Ah.
Being careful. Nat, 20, 25. Okay. You're silently moving about the space. Okay, so I'm in the north where all this, like, the shelves should be, but it's actually just a bunch of big bloodbaths. But that trail wasn't leading to, like, another room. This trail was leading to this. To these corpses that are decaying here in this viscera. I'm at the edge of the room looking at all this stuff. Yeah. I don't think I can do anything else to do anything with this side of the room. I relinquish my minutes. Hmm.
Going around the room here, which means Elga is next. You walk over, you know, on the eastern wall are stacks and stacks of bookshelves covered in dust. There's a plaque that reads nonfiction. That's what we need. Could I look at the books that are there? Yeah, make an investigation check. Which is a book that says how to bat. Let's say 15. Yeah, you find a bunch of dusty book covers with half-eaten pages.
What's wrong with all the eating pages? Is the mummy with us? Yes, but as you ask that question, a swarm of dreadmoths, little tiny winged insects, begin flying out from the stacks surrounding you. Oh, God. Could I attempt to bat them away? Bat them?
Yeah, I mean, they're like everywhere. It's like a big swarm of dread moths. It's not just like one or two. It's like many, many insects. Could I attempt to use one of my scrolls? Sure, why not? Or should I save those? Do what you want. Do them. We're really good at using up our inventory items. What scrolls? What's that? You guys are not even close enough to hear me talk to myself.
What is Blight? It's a necromancy spell. It drains moisture and vitality from the target. The target makes a constitution saving throw and takes necrotic damage on a failed save. Do it. They're flying all around me though, right? Yes, but you can target them. Like in D&D, there is like an enemy type called Swarms and this would be a Swarm. So yes. Should I try to target them with that? It's up to you. Yeah. All right. You pull out a scroll and try to read it. Make an Arcana check. I'm excited. I'm very excited, Barbara. I'm very excited. Four.
You rolled a four. Come on, girl. It was so close to rolling onto an 18, and it rolled onto a five, and then negative. What happens? Well, now I get to roll on the scroll mishap table. Dang it. I'm glad we get instant payoff for that. Yeah. Barbara, you're doing a service.
I just don't, you know, we have stuff. I want to use it. Roll me a D6. We'll do four. Okay. Yeah. You pull out the scroll, you know, try to as best as you can put together the words and, you know, point and try to channel the energy, but it doesn't happen. Instead, the energy shoots out from your hand and the circles back behind you striking the unoccupied staircase that you all just walked up from. Oh, sorry. Um,
Anyways. That was some kind of new magic. I've never seen that magic come from you before. Did you learn a new spell? What happened? I don't know what happened. I'm young and confused. Oh.
That's okay. I'm old and confused. The swarm begins biting at you, Elga. Elga's like in initiative. Pretty much. They hit AC 17. Yeah, that hits. What's the damage? They bite you for 10 points of piercing damage. These are nasty little moths. You can attack these with a battle axe, just letting you know. Yeah, I'm going to try to do that. I'm going to take my axe out and just like try to...
Try to hit them with my axe. Swing it around. Just go ahead and make an attack roll. 25. Oh, believe it or not, that hits. These guys are each individually covered in like armor and little helmets. Roll them all individually, all 1,000 of them. That's why swarms exist. You hit 300 of them. Should I do the damage? Yeah, roll your normal damage. 10.
Yeah, you begin, you know, swiping at them with your battle axe. And you don't kill all of them, but, you know, you do manage to drop quite a few. The swarm is much, much thinned out at this point. And could I just keep looking to see if I find this book? Yeah. As you continue to look, they begin biting you again. They're not dead. You're still in, like, battle. Hitting AC 18. Yeah, that does it. Yeah.
Do we? Remember that time Elga died in the library? She got eaten by bugs. Five points of piercing damage. Mateed, you begin to hear a commotion. Well, I have to say, actually, what it is is that Jacques is very interested in these bugs, as all cats are. Jacques is distracted, actually, because as this commotion is happening, swarms of grubs begin writhing out from the corpses that you are near and begin converging on you, starting to attack you, Mateed. I'm not touching the ground. What are these things doing? They're
leaping into the air. They, they like stack on top of each other so that they can reach up. Ah! Ah!
Oh, we figured out how to push Gus so far that he just makes up stuff so he can attack us. A pyramid of grubs begins approaching you. I fly higher. Not before they attempt to bite you. Hitting AC 13. No. I attack back. Okay. They cast bird poop. Oh.
Oh no, they're falling from the ceiling too. They're everywhere. Dang, this place is nasty. Real Temple of Doom situation happening. I love that movie. Okay, can I do Flurry of Blows? Sure. I can make up to three unarmed strikes.
I'm so bothered because I feel like the book could be in this stack, but these moths won't let me look. Yeah, you got to kill the moths and then you can have some book time. We'll get back to you after Mateed takes their action here, Barbara. That's a 12. Is that land? Yes. I guess I'll resolve one at a time. 12. I'll attack. I did seven. Yeah, you begin punching the grubs. Ew. Ew.
Actually, that's not too bad for me. Grubs are num-nums. Oh. The second one was a 16. I rolled it ahead. That hits. Seven. Yeah. You're still squishing them. There's way fewer of them, but they're still writhing around. Nat 20, 25. That hits. So go ahead and roll that damage. 10. 10. So that's 24 points of damage. Do you use your talons or your awesome? I use talons when I do that. Yeah. I like talons. You begin slashing at the grubs with your talons.
And you ripped them all to pieces till none are left moving. I'm very happy with that. Elga, you still have some dread moths kind of all around you. I'm gonna rage. I was gonna say, this actually feels like, canonically, this is when Elga would get so angry. Elga would rage. Did you not one of your brothers earlier
Oh, they're raging now too. Impossible. Barbarian moths. Barbarian moths. Could I use my axe of the scarab this time? Yes. I rolled a two plus eight and it's a ten. You don't have anything you can add to that?
You're real close. You're real close. Anything to plus that up? Perhaps a scroll. I don't have any inspiration die. So that's it. It's a plus two to damage, though, when I'm raging, but not to my roll. Yeah, the attack itself. A rare instance that you miss. You have to roll a two. I know. Well, I guess I miss.
What happens, Gus? If you reckless attacked, you would have advantage on it. Normally, you have to call it before the attack, but if you wanted to retroactively call it here just to see if it hits, I'd allow it. Could I recklessly attack with my Axe of the Scarab? We're all about learning new characters and learning new ways of playing here at Sneaky Dragon D&D Academy. I've never done a reckless attack, so it's new to me. Yeah, all that means is you attack with advantage, but then when you get attacked, they have advantage attacking you.
Gotcha. You are letting down your guard to get a buff on hitting things. So just roll the attack again. Anything above a two. Thank goodness. 18. Okay, yeah. Your axe of the scarab finds a bunch of moths. How much damage does it do? Oh, dang it.
It's okay, plus your rage. I rolled a one plus six, so it's seven, and then my rage would be plus two, so nine. That actually is enough. That is exactly what you needed to deal with the moths. The remaining moths fall to dust and fall apart at the hands of your mighty Axis, the Scarab. Stupid bugs. Mateed turns around and just sees...
Elga just heaving, just full feral mode. Little tiny wings everywhere on the ground. Crunching on a moth. You are now my mortal enemy.
me. I will remember you for this day. Could I continue to look at this book? Find that book. Yeah, there's quite a few books, so you begin, you know, you look through them, taking your time to make sure you don't miss it, but you do not find a book with that title here. But three more swarms of dead moths appear. Limited print. Can I see if there's anything else worth noting or that I want to take
Within the stack. Make an investigation check. She finds a biography of Dracula. With advantage, 12. No, nothing stands out. It's all egghead book stuff. Nerds. And then could Elga take all the dead moths and like put them in a pile and then put all the books on top of them? Yes, absolutely. And stay down. Is there a dumb reference section in this stupid library we should be in? No.
Not that you've seen so far. Okay, so that leaves Charney, correct? And you all went south towards the office? Yeah. Yep. Gonna check out this office. Just to kind of re-wrangle everyone, we'll say everyone reconvenes here at the office, if that's okay with you, and begins heading in that direction. It was taking a really long time for Chip to help Barney through the bones.
I looked back and saw you guys fighting against tiny things. I was like, what the heck is going over there? Some sort of karmic retribution, I suppose. From your perspective, it looks like they're attacking nothing. They're just swinging wildly at the air. Attacking foes that you can't see. They must be training. Good for them. So proud. As you approach the doorway, you hear the crumpling of paper and you notice the door is cracked.
Before you peek inside, a waft of dust fills your noses and beak. Everyone make a constitution saving throw. Uh-oh. I really appreciate how inclusive you are with that kind of speech. 10. 15. Seven. 25. I think Elga made it. Ha!
With a nat 20. Yeah, I would hope so. That was funny. Elga and Chip, you feel a tickle in your nose, but you're able to stifle it. However, Mateed and Barney, you can't help but release a thunderous sneeze. Both of you fall into the door, slamming it into the wall and tumbling into the room. It appears to be an office completely coated in a peculiar dust. In the center of the room is a disheveled desk with an office chair that quickly settles around. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
Oh no! An immense insectoid with wings stands tall from the chair, its mandibles furiously chewing, your eyes disbelieving what they see. A massive mothman is devouring the pages of a tome entitled Book of Evenfall. Oh no!
Mothman, beware of the bridge. Find out what happens on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh, man. We're going to fight a big bug. Did he listen to me when I yelled stop? We're going to find out if he stops. Do you speak moth? You know, I think right now the patriarchy is alive and well. Elka's going to go take a breather outside of this room. You guys handle the big bug.
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Saunier. This week's Arrow question was submitted by @bradakalani on Discord. Here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode. Ryder Rajad, aka The Mummy, named after user Ryda7s on Reddit. Chief Inspector Weezer, named after user CarlWeezer567 on Reddit. And of course, want to give some special thanks to friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode.
Ryder Rajad, aka The Mummy, voiced by Hannah McCarthy at hihello underscore Hannah. Chief Inspector Weezer, voiced by Micah Reisinger at Micah Reisinger. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You know what I think? All magic cards are library and everyone should get one. All magic cards are library? You want to try that again? Alright, take two and action. All library cards are magic.