you guys hurt drew’s feelings
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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, small more.

Well, on the way here, I have this cup that I stole from Orion. And there was ice in it. And Drew just suddenly starts playing with it and mixing my fucking coffee around. And I was like, stop fondling my fucking straw. And what did you say? You're like...

I just washed my hands. No, he didn't say it like that. He said it like an eight-year-old. I said it like a man. I said, I just washed my hands. No, he goes, I just washed my hands. And then pulled his hand away and was so mad that I told him to stop touching my straw. You're pressed. You're pressed. Well. Press juice. We just launched the new. Oh, that sucked. That sucked balls. Okay. So there's some concerns that I needed to address right off the bat.

I cannot believe...

that y'all thought I would get rid of the chair. I really, I cannot fathom a world where she doesn't come along for the ride with us. She was there for us in the beginning and she will be there for us in the end. And I just needed to get that off my chest. I don't know how many more years that chair has in her. You're talking as if that chair isn't disintegrating by the day. I mean, it is a forever chemical and a forever plastic. So this will probably survive the nuke and the tornado forever.

Like what would you have to do to get rid of that chair like grind it down into smithereens? I mean even the plastics will live like even even like yeah, even the blended plastic would survive like We're here. We start inhaling it, you know, we're over the chair We can like grind it down to powder form and we'll mix it in with some electrolytes and we'll sell it as merch Oh, that's a good idea. That's literally a good idea. I was gonna say, you know how um with every breath you take you like take a

a molecule of Jesus Christ into your lungs. Like that's basically like, like there's so many molecules of oxygen on this planet. A molecule of Jesus Christ. Of his breath that he breathed. So like the oxygen. Is that like a belief? It's not like a belief. It's just like scientifically a possibility. Okay. Um, that's basically if we grinded it down, people would be breathing the microplastics of the chair for decades and decades and decades. Um, yeah.

Okay. Well, sure. I guess I can go back. That's the episode. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. Oh, I killed the vibe. Really quick. I want to apologize for being late, guys. No, don't even bring it up because I'm going to get pissed off. Well, I would like to apologize. Well, you would like to lose your job if you keep mentioning it to me. Well...

I'm a super good person. I just whenever I'm at fault, I want to apologize. And I also want to say why it happened. Why? I was yelling at all the PAs and all the team that we have now, which is like a cool perk. You shouldn't do that. No, that's not like a perk. You shouldn't be doing that. That's just some Hollywood shit, though. Okay, just hold on to that button that should we let him go? I think it's a problem.

What are you guys saying? I'm farther from you now, so I can't hear. Would you mind running an errand for like an hour? Oh, yeah. And then just like not come back. Ever. Don't yell at people.

No, no, I don't like this joke. I don't like this joke. You're my friend and I love you. I wouldn't say that much. Okay. Trisha Paytas, y'all. Trisha fucking Paytas mentioned us on her podcast. I saw a podcast of someone wearing it and their whole wall unsealed fell in on them. Oh my God, I'm forgetting. I know it's Drew and Enya. Who's that? Who are they? Shout out Emergency Intercom. Okay.

It was goaded experience. It was goaded experience. It did hurt my feelings that she didn't know who I was because I have a massive fucking giant ego and I figured everyone on the internet knew who I was and it was a very humbling experience. However, she is my queen. Please don't read our DMs. They're embarrassing because I just like straight up just start like if I have an infatuation with people, I just start DMing them and my most, my most, uh,

victim is Josh O'Connor. You've been DMing him? Yeah. True. I'm like, that's my future man. You can't do that, bro. No, that is my future man. And he's going to look back on it and be like, oh, this is so cute. I can't believe this. He's going to be like, oh, my God. It's going to be like every corny HGTV-ass movie where they find out the person they're in love with is a stalker.

Do you know what I'm talking about? There's like one really- Everybody named Josh O'Connor has ears on them. They got some good ass fucking ears because there's other Josh O'Connor. What's his Instagram? I think it's like Josh takes pictures or some shit. See, we got to change that. We'll tap in. Yeah, we got to change that. We got to change that. Well, for me, it was actually a very-

grounding experience that Trisha didn't know who we were because I hate to think that I am being perceived by like any like possible peers so when they don't know who I am I'm like oh my god ugh

Okay, I'm not being seen by them like that doesn't matter. Also, it was so funny. I don't know her co host name, but watching him try to explain to Tricia who we were really put into perspective because I think we were talking to somebody and then we were like, how would you describe us and they didn't know what to say. And I was like, Oh, wow.

Oh wow. Like what are we? But that's a good thing. There's so many different ways to describe us. And Trisha got a great version of that from him. So shout out Trisha Paytas. The ceiling falling was real, unfortunately, and it has not been fixed yet. They're exposed pipes and wires in the kitchen and,

And when Drew makes me mad, I just take a water gun and I shoot at the wire so it sparks on top of him. We do have literally an exposed wire in our backyard, like right next to where you park your car. And I get out of your car every time and it almost electrocutes me. And I think we should get that fixed. But yeah, yeah.

That's the tea. That's the fucking tea, y'all. That's the fucking tea. There you go. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's just like, I'm just freaking the fuck out right now. Like I can't, we, we just got to figure it out, you know? Wait, figure out what? Everybody. Everybody. Everything. Everything.

I always watch parents pack their kids lunch. And in my head, when I'm seeing what they're packing, I'm like, oh my God, your kid is going to be fucking famished because you're giving it like orange peels and like a sandwich and all this like random little like kid snack shit. And then last night for the first time ever, a slot slided into my brain. And I was like,

oh, I forget that kids are actually fucking tiny as fuck. So for them, a white bread sandwich is the biggest meal they can ever eat. And that's why it's a valid lunch. But I was watching this mom and like she even to her husband was like, we're giving her the whole sandwich. I don't think she'll finish that. And in my head, I was like,

Hello, half a sandwich is nothing. That's kind of fucked up. And then I really thought about it. I was like, wait, a sandwich is actually fucking huge. Like even like adult sandwiches are big as fuck. We need to downsize sandwiches. Shrinkflations. Oh, wait, shrinkflation. Y'all, y'all seen the subway shit? It's crazy. I mean, like we all know $5 footlongs. Now it's like,

Fucking $13 10-inch sandwiches, and it's just not chill. I will say a footlong is a bit unnecessary anyway. I mean, honestly, it is. It's really hard to deal with. What? It's a really difficult thing to live with and a lot to eat. And that, yeah. How often are you eating a footlong? No, no. I'm not eating the footlong. You're serving a footlong. Yeah, I'm giving you... Okay, so...

Speaking of footlong sandwiches, I asked Inya this the other day and I was like, actually, we need to shut the fuck up because we need to talk about this on the podcast. And I'm very curious if this was an experience in either of y'all's lives. But I saw a TikTok that said,

People didn't relate to and I related to extensively and I related so much that I sent it to Madeline and she was like, oh my fucking God, like this is crazy. But we had fend for yourself dinner nights when we were younger where like we would like have to like. Vitam Collins.

I know literally it's not her fault it's not her fault but we would have to like scavenge meals from inside the house and I was like it was like a fun thing for us to do like we would eat like raw pasta. When I trick my kids into thinking not feeding them is fun I'm like oh how fun would it be if you went ate like raw sugar. No it was like raw pasta chocolate chips and like sometimes beef stroganoff.

What is Beef Stroganoff? Hamburger Helper, Beef Stroganoff. I fucking hate Hamburger Helper. I hate that shit. That shit, eh. But was that not an experience you had? Hamburger Helper. And also we would drink Modelo's.

A lot. That's really bad. But no, it was like juice. It was like very high in carbs. Oh, did they water it down? No, it was just like straight up beer. But like it was good carbs. Were you drinking Modelo's as a child? That's what I'm saying. It wasn't like a child that was like eight. That's like as child of a child you can get.

Well, when you have to fend for yourself for dinner, you have to grow up fast. So your parents weren't feeding you dinner and giving you beer? We were smoking cigarettes. We were chain smoking. Hotboxing the bathroom with Madeline with cigarettes and like eight Modelo cigarettes. We were bad as fuck. We would do shit like that. Like my older brothers and siblings, they would smoke Cheetos, like Cheeto puffs. They would like chief on Cheeto puffs and then like,

My dad caught them one time and made them run around the block, which was like a mile like until they threw up and they never smoked another Cheeto again. But there's like different consistencies like a Cheeto puff like hits better than like a regular Cheeto. Or like you kids would smoke Smarties. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then like let it out a little so it looked like you were smoking it. Bitch, we were bored as fuck.

before we had iPhones in class. We were doing whatever the fuck passed the time. I was smoking Smarties in class. Yeah, 100%. I never smoked a Smartie at home. Dude, it was crazy. It's like drinking with friends versus drinking alone at home. Oh, yeah. Well, Kai does that. You should try it. It's awesome. It stops the crying. It stops the crying and the shakes. No, like one time, since we were talking about smoking Smarties in class, like...

I did like a crazy bong rip in the back of class and my teacher like got livid at me. She got so fucking mad. And I was like, stop being a bitch, bro. Like this is like super chill vibe. I ate that for a second. I believe that was like, what? You didn't get expelled. Wait, but did y'all have Finn for yourself dinner? No, I never had that. I did actually. Okay. It might be a white thing. Like genuinely. It is a white thing. The lights would go out. The caucasity of it all.

No, literally. Well, I remember what I, my go-to meal was like a burrito made out of sugar and butter. A butter sugar roll up. Yeah, a butter sugar roll and you put cinnamon in it. And I was like, oh, this is dinner, I guess. It was so good. And then also, did your mom ever make a cinnamon sugar toast where it was just cinnamon sugar on some white like Wonder Bread cut into a triangle, popped into the oven with some butter and it like crisps up and it becomes like soft.

so fucking good. That actually does sound really yummy. Well, I would... I think my mom made it for you one time because I was like, you have to try it. It is yummy. Well, I used to take refried beans and eat them on toast and it's really good. Don't knock it till you try it. It's really good. That actually does sound yummy. I have refried bean trauma. Like actual trauma of refried beans. Because you haven't had that good shit. I know. No, it was like...

I like refried beans now, but like growing up, it was like nine out of 10 meals were fucking canned refried beans like wrapped in a tortilla. Actually, that is unfair to my parents. My parents were good parents. They cook. They while it out. They did their thing. But the refried bean burritos were horrible. They can't be prosecuted. I know. I know. They're crimes against humanity.

Um, yeah, well, I didn't have that because my parents made sure I ate and I've always been eating sis. We can tell. We know. No, I didn't. But I feel like there was an era when like the lights were going out and the recession really hit hard that I was eating a lot of cup noodles. But even then, like my dad would like spruce up our cup noodles and put like onions and cilantro and like veggies in it and like make it into a soup. Am I giving jawline right now?

You're getting jaundiced, Kai. Unironically, you guys both look good as fuck. Oh my god, thank you. Seriously. Kai, you do too. I'm shrouded in darkness. You can't even see me. No, actually, the lighting on you looks good. Really? You're glowing, king. You're beautiful. Oh my god, wait. Look at me because your eyes are shining bright. Are they? Oh, wait. It looks like you've been crying. The iPhone's doing the thing where it looks like shit when I take the picture. That's just Kai's aura. You guys are gaslighting me. No, you look cute. Wait, I'll show you.

Oh, whoa, I look way better than I thought. What the hell? Okay. Me and Anya have been thinking, and it feels like our life is... Pointless? Yeah, pointless, exactly. It feels like everything is happening so fast and we don't have a moment to just savor it and just sit and be proud of our accomplishments. And I really feel like the reason why...

we've been feeling this way is because we have not been going to sex shops to hang out like i'm not even kidding that's where you get to be real like that's where you get to be you get to laugh you get to have fun like we will laugh about it even like we will have a key well i wanted to bring a baby bong to the sex shop oh you don't know baby bong unless you saw me post it uh-uh

Wait, I'll show you Baby Bong. Oh, I miss him already. I forgot to bring him. He's at home. We like picked this thing up and then like literally shifted. That's a real item? It shifted everything. Is it Baby Yoda? Yeah, it's Baby Yoda with a bong in his belly and I love him. Disney's gonna come after us and take us down. Well, no, he has to go to the... We were asking, we were like, who made this? Like the guy who runs the sex shop or the smoke shop. We were like,

who made this like where did you get this and he was like i don't know the wholesalers just sell me stuff like that and they tell me it's gonna sell so i buy it and then he was like apparently they're fucking you like a wholesaler for smoke shops selling hole oh oh oh my bad they're selling holes is that what you were gonna say that was the joke yeah oh yep here we go oh my god

You almost fall. I was going to dab you up. Zach, did you hear that moan? I heard it. Did you get them out? So gross. Yeah, but I feel like because we haven't been going to sex shops as often, something has shifted and we need to like reign in the evil and just like tap back in and go hang out. It is so fun. Like you get to just like browse around and it's like window shopping with your friends. It's really fun to just look around.

I don't give a fuck like sex is funny it's literally the funniest thing ever like every time we're in there we're like giggling I feel like some people look at us and they're like oh so disrespectful but I'm like girl it's not that fucking deep like we're in amazon.com the store right now like it's literally not that deep also it's so funny everything in there is plastic like

We don't talk enough about how many sex toys are going to be left over on the planet. Like, how many rose toys were sold? They're going to be relics. Oh, my God. They're going to be our relics. I'm always like, oh, like, what is, like, like, in a thousand years, like, what's going to survive and outlive us? And it's going to be those fucking, like, rose toys. Like, dead ass. Yeah, they have to make dildos out of those straws that are made out of, like, bamboo. They do? They should.

But maybe it would dissolve. Oh, actually, yeah, like a bamboo toothbrush, but it's a dildo? Yeah, like, no. Actually, yeah. That'd be good. Nope. And then you could woodcarve. Hopefully you're not listening with your parents in the room because we just got serious. It just got real. So should we go to one today? I think so. We should go key at one later today. But that brings me to my next topic of

Oh fuck, what was it? It was so good. It was such a good transition, bro. Oh my fucking God. - It probably was not bad. - Oh, it's actually a horrible transition and it means nothing to me. But you mentioned earlier about seeing someone on TikTok live. Well, I was watching a live or screen recording of someone on a live and they were prank calling people. Like it was like a live where you like send, DM them a number and they prank call them for you. And they're like good at prank calling. Well, I saw someone,

It's ending. It's happening. The big thing came. The big earthquake. Literally. I saw a screen recording.

of someone submitting the sheriff's station's number so they like ties it in and they were like dude they actually gave us number they actually gave us somebody this is crazy and then they were like we're calling and then the sheriff they were like um orange county sheriff's station and they hung up and freaked the fuck out immediately because they prank called the cop cop what even happens next do they follow up i feel like they would have called them back

Probably, but it wasn't like 9-1-1. It was giving like the front desk worker. Nobody noticed Drew just flipped me off for no reason. Well, you deserve it. If you think hard enough about the things you've done, you probably deserve it. Well, I saw this video that was making me cry, fucking laugh. Okay, I can't show you, so you're just gonna have to use your ears. Oh, okay. Pregnancy announcement gone wrong. I got a surprise for you. You're gonna open me up with a present, okay? Bitch, who the fuck is calling me? Scam ass number. Come on.

Open it. What is the present for? Because we love you so much. What'd it say? Open the rest of the gift. So whatever, she just goes on to be like, I don't want to be a sister and she just starts crying because she's like, you guys aren't going to love me anymore. Why not? Mulan, yes I am. I'm going to love you just the same. I don't know why I wanted a baby.

Dude, I've never seen a child become so existential so fast. In that moment, she woke up. In that moment, she like entered adult reality within like the span of three minutes of hearing that news. And then it had me thinking of like, what is she watching that the like

very obvious love distinction between like an older sibling and a younger sibling is so evident that that's like a fear of hers that's now being unlocked and she's like so fearful of it but she just goes on to talk about it she's like but then I'm gonna die first and then she was just like she just kept saying things like that and the parents obviously didn't know what to say they were like

Like, no, it's going to be fun. And then I want boys. She goes, is this a dream? Am I overreacting? This might just be a dream and I'm overreacting. And I was like, holy shit. Knowing she was going to be an older sibling set her into psychosis. But it's understandable because I have a younger sister and it was the worst thing to ever happen to me as a kid. Now it's awesome. But I was the baby. So you got more love.

I was like taken care of and I was the boy baby of a twin set. Yeah, so that sexism tapped the fuck in. You know that though. You know that though. No, I feel like my parents loved Madeline more than me. And that's why I like would fake like I was going to kill myself several times. Never forget the pill story, y'all.

- Well, I was the middle child for a long time growing up until I was like 12. - Being a middle child is probably so beat. - Yeah, it was bunk as fuck. No one fucked with me. I was hella annoying and no one fucked with me. So that's probably why I'm here. - But I feel like, I don't know what's worse, being a middle child of like a smaller family or being the babies of like a big family.

Well, in my head, being the baby of a big family is lit because your older siblings will take care of you. But also they'll like...

bother the fuck out of you because once my younger siblings were like brought to this earth and in my eyes I was a demon to them I know I got bullied I would find anything that bothered them and I would troll the fuck out of them like I would chase them around with pictures of horses and sharks because they were scared of horses and sharks like I would like act like I was calling the police on them every time they annoyed me and they would freak the fuck out you're fucking evil bro my brothers would pin my arms down and

and then turkey tap my chest for like five minutes and it would be the most painful thing I've ever experienced. They would just like do that over and over and over again. And then they would like pinch this part of my leg all the time. Y'all, it was brutal out there. They would also shoot me with airsoft guns.

And my older brother had ninja stars and he would act like he was going to throw them at me and shit. Like we were cooked. Well, when Natalie would get on my bed, I would take her off with my feet. Really? I would literally, I think I had an old vine. Didn't you spit in her bed or some shit? No, that was to my sister who's like three years apart from me. I got tired of beating her ass when we would get into physical fights and I felt like that was unfair. So instead of physically fighting her, I just started spitting all over her bed. Biological warfare. I started spitting on her bed.

and I would get home from school in my outdoor clothes and roll around in her bed after sweating in the Miami heat but yeah I have like Miami heat basketball team you love basketball should we talk about basketball my Mavericks won they beat the Thunders sorry bye men do the same thing with basketball that they do to their pregnant significant others where they're like we're having a baby we we we we we and they're not doing any fucking work and that's how men talk about basketball it's like oh we're

going to the finals oh we won oh my god i'm so happy for us i bought jerseys and supported the team i paid their salaries i bought movie or i bought uh tickets to the games i bought hot dogs at the stands like i supported i'm a part of this team it's a community that we built yeah it's real as fuck

Y'all ever heard of urinal cake huffing? What? Urinal cake huffing. Urinal cake huffing? There's jankum where you take your waste, your shit, and your piss, and you put it in a bag and ferment it in the sun, and then you huffed...

I was a Jankum plug in high school. Yeah, I kind of like hooked. I was the Heisenberg of Jankum. It gives you like hallucinogenic. Is this a real thing? Because it's pissing me off. It's real, but urinal cake huffing is like people grab the urinal cakes out of like

the urinals in bathrooms and crush it up and sniff it. - Dude, that is so disgusting. - Wait, what does it do? You get high? You break through? - Yeah, you get high. - Do you actually? Or are people just like kind of kinky, nasty monsters? - It's like hitting the jackpot if you find an unused one. So like the urine has nothing to do with it, but-- - Why don't they just buy urinal cakes online? - I don't know. - Why don't you just buy drugs?

literally just smoke weed. I had a guest idea for the podcast. The hat man that you see when you do Benadryl. The Babadook. Yeah, the Babadook. But you know what I'm talking about? The Benadryl thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you see spiders and they're crawling over you. I don't think I've ever even taken Benadryl. You have, but you haven't taken enough to break through. But there's like that specific guy when you get high on Benadryl who wears a hat and stands in the corner of your room and watches you. Yeah. I feel like he would be a good guest. He would be a good guest. Well, that's Drew when he wears his

that's literally me in the show actually somebody recently told me that they had a scary dream and drew was in it and drew had a straight bob and headphones in and like this is somebody who like we haven't seen in a long time and that drew just kept being like and like saying all their business to them and like knew everything about this person's life yeah um i mean that's just like me in reality

I have little plants that collect information for me. And I know everything y'all say and I know everything y'all do because it all gets back to me because I have people. I have people out there. But you wouldn't know that I would know because I keep that information to myself to use for later. Yeah, Josiah is my boyfriend.

Josiah is my boyfriend. I don't know why that sentence alone makes me laugh so hard. I think it's just because we'll be standing around the house and Drew will walk by me and be like, Josiah is my boyfriend. And then go back to his room and that's like the only words I've heard from him in like 30 hours. It was like 30 hours. Yeah.

I've also seen like way too many dicks on my TikTok feed. Has that been a thing for anybody else? Penises? Yeah, like straight up dongs. Like it got banned. Oh, I did see a guy on live who was like recording himself and just like panning down and grabbing his fucking nasty wiener.

Yeah. What? It's crazy. Since when can you do that? That's the thing. It got fucking banned. We got banned in America and the moderator said, all right, fuck y'all. Oh, that's why you've been down recently. That's why you've been depressed probably. Wait, no, that makes... Well, you can't even say kill yourself, but you can put your cock on the live. Yeah. I think it might be like a little bit. It's pretty insane. And there's like this side of TikTok called Leak Talk.

where they like just post pictures of their wieners what yeah wait how do you know I've never seen that yeah I didn't know about any of this Drew I think

think the algorithm no i'm just making all of this up y'all no no stop it that video of michael jackson like no stop stop um well do you think when you get really old every night you go to sleep you're scared you won't wake up because that was scaring me yes like that is terrifying like imagine being like 78 i go to sleep every night praying i don't wake up already

Already? What does that mean to say already after that? The guy already. Oh, I get it. Okay. I've been going to sleep and then I'll stop breathing and I'm convinced...

If I didn't catch it, I would have died. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? That literally happened... Yeah, actually, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You're just hitting that. I'm 29. I'm in my 20s. No. You're in the point, like, 0, 0, 0, 8, 2% of your 20s. You're the oldest 20-year-old. You're holding on with, like, white knuckling. You're the oldest 20-year-old alive. There will be a second where you are the oldest 20-year-old. But...

That happened to me the other night. Like I was like laying down and I just like, like I choked and like woke up really quick and I was like freaking the fuck out. Like it was actually scary. It didn't happen to me, but I do hit my puff bar so many times before I go to bed that I always wake up with almost a sore throat. And then I wake up and I'm like, I need to stop fucking smoking. Like I need to stop. And then I wake up and I'm like, I know my lungs don't hurt though. Cause I can run. True.

The second I get on a treadmill and I can't run, I still won't stop. I simply will walk. The streets killed me. The fucking streets killed me. Wait, who did we say grew up into that? Josiah. No, no, no, no.

Tense Josiah in two weeks. Jojo Siwa drunk at Disney World. Oh, see, I don't give a fuck. I do not give a fuck. I like Jojo Siwa there. I said it. Boom. Yeah, we saw the video of her like in her kitchen dancing around and I was like, oh, she's... Did you see the one with Mario Lopez? Yeah. That shit's great. And everybody's silent around her. Is she the tallest like person on the planet? Why does she look like...

So, like, or is Mario Lopez just a smaller man? I feel like he might be smaller. But she does look like 6'11 in that video. Yeah, she seems like she'd be really fucking tall. Yeah. Also, the fact that she's just now turning 21 is, like, actually scary. Whoa. But...

I've decided that the only way I can keep track of time is there are a certain amount of pregnant women. Are you looking at that? I was just looking back at my Facebook because I just opened my phone to Facebook for some reason and I haven't posted on there since 2018. And I went on this psycho two-week span where I was trolling the fuck out of all of my locals. And I posted this pic as...

a selfie like I was like guys I feel good today like this is a vibe and then my next post after that was this pic Kylie Jenner no it's a broken crown still colors with crazy emojis and then I posted this pic oh this pic and

And then I posted this. I feel like this is before trolling was worldwide and like before TikTok blew up. So people from your hometown definitely were like, oh. Oh, he lost it. Because then I also said, so happy to be back on the bike. It's been a while. I posted this. Hold on. And then I moved on. And then I posted a picture. Got to fly the plane.

The other day, it was awesome. And I photoshopped clouds into the background. Dude, I had a bowl cut. Dude, I distinctly remember sitting in bed with you while you were editing that. Yeah. In 2004. It was a process. And then I posted my... Airpod. My mullet slash airpod 360. Or not mullet. My... What is that? Bowl cut. Bowl cut 360. And now if you look up...

Drew Phillips bowl cut or something like that. If you look up bowl cut or shitty haircut, those pictures come up. If you look up terrible haircut, the 360 of me comes up. And then on Thanksgiving, it posted this. Just cooked up.

And then I posted a picture with Kylie Jenner. Did anybody believe that? Like, what were the comments? Yeah, so many people believed it. Kylie invited me over for dinner the other night. Travis was so funny. And Stormi was a little sweetheart. Ha ha, I'm living in a movie. I can't say who commented and believed it. But yeah, that was my most recent post on Facebook. So yeah, I went on like a crazy troll binge. But then I think about it and I'm like...

That is like the most selfish thing I can do is be a troll because like it's only good for me. Like I'm the only person that gets a laugh out of it. No, because people are laughing at you. True, true, true. There are people out there who are laughing at you. That is true.

because like if there are people who believe that you are actually going insane for the most part people are probably cracking up and Air playing that I mean like okay y'all need to see what I didn't get reached out to once during that era and that was like six months of posting when I was just like Tweaking the fuck out on Facebook like literally like going batshit crazy like and no one said I mean but in all honesty like I

It was a little real. Like, that was, like, kind of coming from a real place if you think about it. The dirt bike photo is not... No, no, no. I'm not saying, like, what I was doing, but, like, even, like, me trolling vibes. You wanted someone to reach out? Exactly. Like, it was coming from a real place. And I was busy ignoring you. No, literally. I had shit going on with myself, so... I was too busy sleeping from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. and then taking melatonin soon after I woke up, so...

Was tapped in I was busy as fuck. I like missed that though. That sounds like kind of fun to just like drug myself to sleep all the time and stuff Yeah, oh That's not real sounds like comforting. Yeah, it's awkward as fuck I was thinking about because I feel like when Nathan for you came out that was like the first time that it became like a very mainstream concept to like fuck with people as

That's not like the first time, but I feel like that's the first big cultural moment where people are like, oh, this is a thing. And I got kind of sad recently because I feel like that is that form of comedy or whatever is now like the default form of comedy on the internet. Yeah, 100%. Like when you open up TikTok, it's like some guy running up and he asks them a question like farts on them or something. I don't know. That's way funnier than for you, actually. Yeah.

It's like, you know, it's scary to think about, though, is like to us. We I always forget what a bubble we live in, because even on those things, it's like you could see a video like that with a million likes. But that doesn't even go to touch even like a small percentage of the US, because every time I see a video of somebody getting trolled, I'm like, how did they not think for a second that they were trolled?

Being like okay. There's an iPhone in my presence. I'm definitely about to be trolled People it happens to people all the time like people just like for you to it, but I also think it's like a shame thing It's like nobody wants to be like leave me alone on camera because they don't want to see us or losers So they just like I was talking to my friend about how like Chipotle workers in LA should have to be paid more just as like a like 30% more just to deal with like the emotional toll of like

an annoying white guy like every week going in and like holding his phone like this in front of like the thing and being like more you add more more Don't be shy put some more please don't be shy don't be shy put some more please put some more Please don't be shy put some more. Do you know why did that?

You'll say it and I'll remember. I don't know if you know what he's talking about, Kai. The stupid video of me saying that in 2019. Oh, I remember this video. And James Charles saying, that girl. I know, that girl, bitch. The girl. That is like a prolific... I feel like that's like TikTok canon. No, it was like right at the genesis of TikTok, like hitting the mainstream. I think that was like one of the first videos I posted also. Yeah.

But I did that because I was at a poke shop and this lady was doing that to the employee. Like she kept being like, don't be shy. Come on. Like, what are you doing? Why are you playing with me? To the worker. And like the worker was around my age and me and him just kept like, he just kept like doing her bowl and looking over at me. And she was like,

What? I'm right here. I'm right here. She was being so scary and eerie. She was cooking. She might have been on something. Honestly, she's probably happier than I am because I could never speak out for myself like that in public. Aw. Yeah. But you're pretty. That doesn't help. It actually makes it worse. Like, being pretty is hard. I fully fucking agree. Thank you. Someone fucking said it. All right, y'all. Since Inya brought it up, I'll talk about it. Being... All right.

As Gorgiana Grande as I am. As Hermosa Bella as I am. Like Guapo Gordo. Guapo. Grande. Like all of it. Wait, you said Gordo? That's fat. Like handsome. You said you have a fat guapo? Yeah, guapo. Guapo is like sexy. It's like guacamole. Okay.

No, I, it is just really difficult existing. Um, I mean, I've said it several times, like as the beauty standard, because like people almost expect things out of you. Like I'm actually almost crying, like thinking about it, like I'm dead serious. Like people like look at you and want you to be what you want them to be in you.

No, I get it. It's like you're so sexy. People expect your personality to be perfect. But really what nobody thinks about is because you are so hot, you're like one of the worst people on the planet. No. Like people always look at you and they're like, oh my God, he's so sexy. He must be the best person ever. But then they get to know him and they're like, you are evil and something about you is so awful and I actually don't want to be around you. Because this is just 100% true. You get it, right? I mean, me and Kai couldn't relate to that because nobody thinks that way.

Okay. It's our job as close friends to be super fucking honest with you. No, no, no. I'm going to fucking kill myself and write y'all on my note. That's fine. Y'all are going to be the reason. That's how you want to deal with this. Uh, no, actually I'm burning the house down. Then don't please. Damn.

I do not play when it comes to this. I do not. Don't fucking play with me. No, no, no. You were saying that. You were like, I don't fuck around with that. Like, I can't remember what it was. Don't fucking play with me. It was something so stupid. Like, we were playing a game or something and Drew was like, because I don't fuck around with like fucking this up or something. And it was the dumbest thing ever. I wish I remember what it was because I was like, I've never heard.

heard somebody so seriously be like it might have been on the patreon episode you were like because i don't fuck around i don't fucking play y'all i do not getting really serious about something will always be super funny like it's never that never but something to actually be serious about is being as gordy gorgeous as gorgeous as i am you're so gorgeous

I think subconsciously you were thinking about how gorgeous, but you're being fetishist. Oh, bitch. Oh my God. And I forgot about the sandwiches. Don't be fetishist. You should have a sandwich because you're gorgeous. Exactly. Inside the gym. Inside the gym. Subconsciously.

Me and Drew were trying to figure out if we were going to do the lingo thing. But maybe that's our thing. It's like when somebody's being a little mysterious. I bet y'all feel so left out right now. These are all of our inside jokes. Don't be fetishist.

all of those come from josiah most of them most of them are just me the chim is just you fucking up while you were speaking y'all i like have like audible typos like 90% of the time i'm speaking and he gets so mad when you repeat them because i'm like girl like you knew what the fuck i was trying to say like oh my god even though you can't make a like mishap in your vocabulary around true because he'll repeat it and be like oh what is that what is that

Back to me being the beauty standard, bitch. It is a hard fucking life out here. It is a hard fucking life. Okay, Annie. It's hard. Oh, should I do my stand-up? Because I've been writing stand-up. I have like a tight probably three minutes that I did at a show. And you're like bracing yourself physically. No, it's actually good. It's actually good. She's taking a breath to laugh. Okay. Okay. This is how I open this up. Are you all all right?

Yeah. Yeah. No, you're all all left. Okay. Water be like, let me be clear. You know, like the Obama. Yeah, that's really good. Let me be clear. Rulers be like, let me get one thing straight. So do I. I'd be like that. I'd be like that too. Haagen-Dazs ice cream be like, get in my stomach. What? What was that? No, wait. I got it.

Okay, do it again, do it again, yeah. Haagen-Dazs, more like Haagen-Old-Dazs ice cream. Oh, okay. People are so crazy. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is where it heats up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. People are so crazy. Wait, hold on. People are so crazy nowadays, they will pee in a bottle and put it under their bed. What? Am I the only one who does that?

- Wait, so how do cameras work? I'm actually confused because every time Inya and Kai step in front of it, it breaks. That's why we keep them off camera everybody 'cause the cameras break. Thousands of dollars in damage. My rugs in the living room have started to stink. I knew I shouldn't have let my dog inside. Inya, you're sleeping outside again. - Imagine Drew doing this on Kill Tony.

That's all folks. Drew doing Enya and Kai jokes on Kill Tony. No, I cooked, y'all. Yeah, you did. I mean, it makes me laugh every time. What's y'all's favorite part? You doing two Haagen-Dazs jokes in a row. Yeah, see, y'all think y'all got me. I keep seeing that in the reflection. I'm so curious what it is. What?

You are a crazy person. No, see what the fuck. Like, the thing is. See what the fuck. Also, wait, last night when Ryan came over and Drew was sitting with us for like three minutes and then me and Ryan started talking and he left and then he came back with a question about himself. Like, he literally left his room and I was like, where do you go? And he's like, I'm painting. And I was like, oh, damn, he doesn't want to hang out with us. And then me and Ryan were like, oh, what characters from Sex and the City are we? And Drew ran in and he's like, wait, who am I? Who am I? Like, who am I?

Yeah, because I need to know. Sorry, I was a baby child and I didn't get all the fucking attention that y'all got. No, but y'all like in the stand-up how I set y'all up where y'all were like, oh, I got him. Like, what the fuck does Haagen-Dazs be on my stomach be like? And then I come back and my Haagen-Dazs... What the fuck does Haagen-Dazs be all up in my stomach? Haagen-Dazs is more like Haagen-Aldaas ice cream. Okay, well... I fucking ate...

Well, I'm going on a strike against going to Drew's room at night because his bedsheets started to smell like all his food. And your room smells like cat piss. Okay, wow. But I was. And?

That's just my piss. That is just Inya's urine. It's my tuna ball. No, y'all, it's a fucking vibe. Like, y'all don't get it. Like, bed food hits differently past 11 p.m. I haven't been to Buffet de Dru in, like, a few days. Actually, you haven't. And I was really sad last night because, you know, the snacks I bought three days ago that we've just kind of been, like...

cheating on for the past three days um wait y'all sour gushers so good please send us sour actually no sour gushers are fucking gross like they're actually so nasty do not go fucking buy them i'm oh yeah actually no because if i go to the store and they're not there i'm actually gonna freak the fuck i'm gonna have a conniption fit i feel like they're the best we're gonna sell out sour we can and literally get some fucking person who's gonna make a tiktok on them and they're gonna be fucking sold some people have self-respect and they're like i don't need to put that

in my body. No, but sour gushers, y'all, they fucking cooked. But I accidentally threw away like six of them last night and I was going to eat them. Those are a hot commodity in the house. I know. They're very rare. They're very... Do you guys still have that...

Sour fruit stuff. Fruit riot. Right. Yeah. That I like so much. Kai, y'all, this is like the craziest thing Kai has ever done. Like never in Kai's life has he been like, I just, I'm going to come over and chill. And we're like, yeah, come over. Kai came over and chilled for five minutes and then was like,

So like what about like do you have any more of that like sour fruit stuff and we were like That's why he wants to come over. He comes over to eat my fucking fruit riot. That is not why that's not the whole reason Is it a big part of why yes? Honestly fair, but the other part is just enjoying life with you guys and spending time with you guys Do I want to get that sweet sour?

in my fucking gut. Yeah. Yes, I do. I literally finally broke Kai's ketosis though. It's been like a very big goal of mine. It broke it. Yeah, it broke it, but I'm fucking back. It was worth it. I'm back. But your jaw is like so snatched. Really? Like you're giving like jowls or not jowls. Jowls? No.

No. No. No, Kai. I didn't mean that. No, the thing is, I'm going to have to fuck up jowls. I'm going to be an ugly old bitch. Like, I'm really going to be fucked up. And I'm going to fucking Dr. Kim. What's his name? Yeah. I'm going to fucking Kim. No, he can cook. We just see it in the healing process. Yeah, no. Like, give it a few months. Yeah, exactly. No, Kai, I'm saying you give, like, gaunt. Like, you don't have any buccal fat. Like, it's a vibe. I'm giving gaunt? Yeah. Can we all go get buccal fat removal? Yeah.

Yes. I gotta take some of this cake and put it in my face. Or do a reverse. Take the cake from my ass and put it in my face. Take the cake from my ass. Y'all small asses are gonna be back in very soon. All of you little ass bitches out there just like be ready. I'm tired of my bubble butt erasure that you guys are always No!

Pick that up. Stop playing with me. Oh, wow. That was actually fire. What is Grindr though? Like I keep hearing this app called Grindr. Like people are like talking about it all the time. No, me and Kai never mentioned that to you. What is that? You tell us. Oh, you must be the Grindr expert. I've actually never downloaded Grindr. Genuinely, I'm actually like so confused. Give me your phone. Us ending the episode all by chewing gum and destroying. But what is Grindr actually? And what is Sniffies? And what's the difference between both of those?

And which one's better? I genuinely don't know. We've talked about this. I don't know. Drew doesn't know. We've got people high up at Grindr, so don't fuck with us. No, we literally do. We literally do. We were like a podcast. Our only connect to social media managers and shit is literally at Grindr. Yeah, we were voted as the first year we were doing the podcast, we were second runner-up in voting for best gay podcast ever.

I was like, bitch, fuck y'all. Like, that is literally not me. I'm going to start releasing bees. Well, I still have my proof of diagnosis by my doctors of being straight. Oh, nice. Yeah. You know, you could test for that now.

I gotta go in. I gotta test. I gotta get an updated registration. No, you literally do have to go. I actually do. You do. They ask for all your symptoms. It's like when you get tested for ADHD. They give you a little test and they ask your symptoms and stuff. Yeah. Did I tell y'all about, I don't think I told them, about how I almost got asbestos? Like I probably do have asbestos in my lungs. Why do you think that? I don't know that.

You always think you got bitch. I could tell you what you have in your lungs, but you're not gonna like it. No, do it. Let's come You have come in your lungs. How is that even possible? You should hit me to get the anger out Or the frustration you should hit me. I'm over here. Go ahead. What bitch? I don't have shit else to say to you. I already said what I had to say You want me to repeat it? Oh my god, you're actually fighting. This is crazy. Yeah, I don't give a fuck Is it over is the podcast over hit me? Oh

Me and Drew haven't fought in a while. When's the last time we fought? Don't fucking play with me, bitch. Give me, guys. No, I got a toy. I found out. Whoa. You got a toy? Shut the fuck up. He wasn't playing about their sexual. I can't stop laughing. We all three need to go to a live screening of SNL and be like, fuck. Yeah.

Oh yeah, going to SNL and doing that. Like super late. Like once all the laughter tapers off. I got this CSI toy growing up.

Wait, I think you have spoken about this. Not on the pod, though. But I got a CSI kit growing up, and it was a really fun toy. It was like my favorite fucking toy, and I was very precious with it. I would not let anybody else touch it. It was like my favorite fucking toy, and I literally used it every day for like six months. Me about my wing bot. My favorite fucking toy I used every day for six months. Yeah.

Girls should not pleasure themselves. The plastic is beat up on that hoe. Girls should not pleasure themselves. That's what I'm here for. I should be your wing bot. You are when it dies, when I lose the charger. Wait, wait, wait. Let me finish. So I bought this CSI toy. Why are y'all laughing at me? Let me finish this goddamn story. You're funny and sexy. Continue. How am I supposed to continue after that?

Because actually that is a fucking problem. No. Why haven't we kissed yet? I can't finish a fucking... No, no, no. I can't finish a fucking story without being objectified. And that's the problem with being beautiful. That is the difficulty with being beautiful. Because... Beautiful. With being beautiful. I haven't been objectified enough lately. Like, we need to talk about that. Like...

that's it that's all I have to say it might be on my part like I'm not doing a good enough job you want to be objectified and we want to be perved on like we need to act yeah I want to be objectified but like not by men like ew but girls just like girls aren't as pervy but I can respect that um but I bought this CSI toy used it all the time

And then it came out like years later. Like, I mean, I use it every day. And my favorite part was doing the fingerprint. Like you put your fingerprint on something and dust it off. Well, it turns out that like basically the fucking fingerprint dust was straight up asbestos. And I would just like dust it off and breathe it in for like, and I did that like every day for like six months. So y'all know what munting is? What is that? It's me and Kai. We go do it all the weekends.

All the week. When me and Kai go out, just know we're fucking munting down. And Kai was the one that introduced me to it, which is actually really interesting. What is that? I don't even know what he's talking about. I'm sweating. I'm freaking out. Now you don't. What does it mean? Please tell me. What is that? I'm not going to be the one that fucking says it because Kai is the one that put me on. What did I do? Let me look this shit up. The last thing in my safari was something I want to get for Drew, by the way, just to let everybody know I'm a good friend. Find and dig up a 70-plus corpse.

You're saying we find a decomposed, a semi decomposed. You don't have to finish that. You don't have to finish that. But yeah, we do that all the time. Why is there a word for that? How many people did that? Causing the juice. No, no, no. Munt maxing. We've been munt maxing. Oh, I saw this kid who was like pheromone maxing. Like I ended up on a really weird. I ended up on like Drew's side of TikTok last night where it was like the scariest people.

ever and i didn't know what was happening like it started on like eternity necklaces which is like a kink thing like oh it's like somebody is like it's like a sub and dom like situation we do genuinely need to bring back bandana culture but that's all i'll say bandana culture there are no mine oh like for like no no anyway and then i found that and then i went on a deep dive of that and i couldn't believe it because there's like a specific kind of person who

um post about that and i just won't get into the details but it's very specific um no i meant the eternally eternity necklace oh very specific y'all should hit up your family and be like oh anybody know like eternity necklaces because that's like kind of the vibe

It's white people. It's a very white thing. And I like went down a rabbit hole in it and I was like, okay, this is crazy. And it was freaking me out. I don't know what eternity maxing is. No, not eternity maxing. You're just adding maxing. Eternity necklace is like a collar, like a forever collar that like somebody wears if they're in like a relationship. Oh, like the chain? Yeah. Oh, it's like they're the sub. Yeah. And that was freaking me out because I was like, I can't believe people like come on the internet and say, see, he knows. Yeah.

But then I found this kid who was pheromone maxing question mark and it just meant he wasn't fucking showering. And it was his like mom being like, please shower, please, please. And then he was like, my mom made me shower. And then he was like talking about how like one of his friends invited him over and he thought he was going to hang out. But like they gave him like a bucket bath. No, they gave him a bucket bath. Like they like washed him. And that's just really gross. And I'm really scared.

Is there any validity to that, though? No. None. Yeah. Okay.

I'm just wondering because sometimes I'll be like, I'm always learning about women. I'm always getting blown away by women. I'm always being impressed by like what I don't know, the multitudes of the female, whatever. And I'm so I'm just asking questions. I'm just asking. No, it's not a thing, bitch. You can smell pheromones immediately. And some of y'all bitches fucking stink. God didn't give you the good pheromones. Get the fuck away from me, nasty fucking monster. Ew, I hate. I can't stand a bitch with nasty pheromones. That shit pisses me off.

One time Drew said something really insightful and he said sometimes. One time, you mean like a million times? No, a ton of times. But just with a specific time you said, and I'll never forget this. I'm actually getting chills just thinking about this. But you said sometimes the prettiest people do the ugliest things. And I was like, wow, what the fuck? That's not a truth. And the way that he had me screaming. And this, and this. The truth will set you free. The truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off. Incredible. Yeah.

What's another one? When I click the equal sign on my keyboard, because for a while I had like a long bit going where I had like on an iPhone, I had like a text signature. Oh, the subject? Yeah. So when I do it, it says, it's a quote by me. Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. And so I would just click it. That's a quote by you? Yeah.

so yeah i cooked so if y'all want a little goof and a gag and y'all want to um yeah y'all get it y'all get the fucking vibe let's do media y'all sex in the city what the fuck why is everybody looking at me well because you're about to do your media we're waiting and you were talking i feel really scared right now i'm really uncomfortable by y'all's presence then go home

Call a fucking Uber and get out of here. Sex in the city. You're not riding back in my car with me. You're getting an Uber. I'm going to start banning Drew. Hold on. I'm going to ride Kai all the way home. Yeah. He's going to ride the shit out of me. I'm going to start banning Drew from being in my fucking car because he has a bad habit of getting in my car and playing TikToks next to my ear. And it is so infuriating. If you get in someone's car and you play TikToks with the volume on.

Burn in fucking hell. You pissed me off. I'm studying. I'm studying. That's better than what Drew does in my car where he'll get in and he'll immediately pull his pants down and then he'll bare ass fart into the leather seats and then he'll tickle me until I piss myself. Yep. Do a sigh up or I'm going to freak out. Hold on now. We're doing media. Oh.

um okay and you put me on to sex in the city it's all we've watched it's all i've been able to consume also oh my god i had the new season of young sheldon spoiled for me and when i saw the fucking video y'all i started crying dead serious i'm dead serious i started crying something very dark happens and my favorite character gets fucking murked and gets killed and they kill him no hell no he goes and wait somebody dies yes and it's really sad actually it's like

It literally is like choking me up. I'm like, oh, that's like pop up. Like stop. That show sucks. Also, IG has been flopping and all of my DMs come in a day later. So I keep seeming like a piece of shit because I'm just not replying to any of my friends. But I like literally don't respond to people on IG. Like I have like five people I DM back. But like I literally like I'm not even on there enough to text man for text. No, literally. My phone is so dry. And whose fault is that?

Yeah. Well, look. Oh, wait. This is another quote by me. The action. Well, look at that. It's the actions to my consequences. Consequences to my actions. The consequences. Look at that. It's the consequences to my actions. How do you say beautiful? Beautiful. Really quick. Drew did say another quote that I'm just now fucking remembering. And he said, karma's a bitch.

And I was like, whoa, that's fucking crazy. But continue. Yeah. Well, she stole it, but we're in ongoing litigation. But I can't talk about that right now. Yeah.

Little Boy by Death Grips, Alberto Balsam, AFX Twin, just some random little artists that not a lot of people know about. Yeah, who is the twins? It's like two guys. They like DJ together. That's cool. My favorite video of all time is that girl that went to Coachella and was like, it was such good EDM vibes. And then we went to that stage and it was just like really demonic energy and like babies crying the whole time. And she said, AFX Twins. Yeah.

I'm pretty... No, I don't know how to say that. I'm not giving y'all that. Y'all, I've been on a Blink Banshee vibe recently. If you know, you know. Like very... Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. Very... Oh, what's that aesthetic called? Vaporwave. Vaporwave. Very Vaporwave coded. Like Blink Banshee goes crazy. Teen Pregnancy. Be Startup. Wave Step is a GOAT song. And then Ecozones. They actually put that album on...

spotify late but great album um but yeah blank banshee tune in tap the fuck in and that's my media um my media of the week is your mama's vagina your mama's stinky pussy in my butt oh uh birds of a feather billy eilish drama baby slash malibu baby sosa

Chihiro? I don't know how to say that, and I don't think it's supposed to be said with a Spanish accent. Oh, the Billie Eilish. Chihiro? I don't know what it's... Like, Chihiro? I think Chihiro. No, I don't know. But you've been tuned to tap the fuck into that album. Yeah, that album's got me. That one and Lunch, those three songs from that album are really good. Oh, it's the... Yeah, it is Japanese. It's the little girl from... The little girl. It's the little girl from Spirited Away. Yeah, from Spirited Away. From Spirit Away. Chihiro. Um...

And that's like honestly it because I've just hit a phase where I'm like, okay, maybe listening to the saddest folk song anybody's ever heard is only going to make me sadder. So I need something that's going to make me happy. I just want to be happy. It's not really working, but... Womp womp. And Sex and the City. That's all I've been watching. I love Sex and the City. That shit's good as fuck. You didn't like Aiden? Oh, yeah. I don't like Aiden. You're crazy. I don't like Aiden. Aiden is like perfect.

How far are you in the show? We just started season four. Give it another season. We'll see how you feel. Even if he fucks up, I'm like, he was perfect. And if he fucks up, look at it. It's the actions of my own consequences. I don't even have a real reason to hate Aiden. You're jealous. Am I sexually intimidated by him? Yes. But... That's literally Dalton. There's...

It literally is. I know. Okay. There's something about like an artisanal guy who lives in Venice. You can't say that about people, Kai. It's 2024. No. I said artisanal. Stop saying that. I know. It's weird. Oh my God. Look, Aiden's sexy, but...

I don't like him. And I do like Mr. Big for Carrie. I do. You do? I do. I think that that is who she should be with. That person. I guess they're both messy boots. Yeah.

As much as I don't like it, I fucking hate when big comes around. I fucking hate when big comes around. Every time he's on screen, I'm like, oh my God. But I did, I did like their little moment on her birthday when she got in the limo with him. Yeah. And then she got out. Yeah. When she got out, I was like, God, good for you, Carrie. Like get the fuck out of that car. But, um,

That was the conversation when I walked in and I was like, who am I from Sex and the City? Who are you? I don't know. We decided he was like a bit of Miranda and Charlotte. I used to be Samantha. Yeah, you used to be Samantha. Now you're a bit of Charlotte and Miranda. I used to be Charlotte as fuck. And then I became... I feel like I used to be Charlotte Miranda. Now I'm...

Orion said Carrie for me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she said Miranda's son Carrie. Well, I'm Shoshanna. Who? That was a girl's reference. Just be like, oh, I'm Shoshanna. Anyway. I feel like you're the chickens outside of her window cocking. Okay. And who else? Oh, you're Steve as fuck. You're Trey. Okay.

I'm Harry. I'm Harry. Have you met Harry yet? No. No. No, Kai, I feel like... I guess I'm no one. I'm not really... No, no, no. You're... I feel like you give the same vibe as me, like Charlotte Miranda vibes. I agree with that. I'm a little neurotic. I wanted to add to the media just because I saw Phoenix live. Oh, really? And it was good as fuck. When? Like a couple days ago. Saturday. Well, thank you for the invite. Dude...

I'm ignoring that. And I'm just going to continue to enjoy this moment. But that shit was so fucking good. Damn. If anybody gets an opportunity to watch Phoenix, I would recommend it. It's super good. Well shit. Had to fucking. And what about gay porn? You've been watching a lot of it. I said that one, maybe three times. And I still get punished for it. I like to have a little bit of fun on the podcast. Same here. Okay. Drew's side.

Now speed that up to two times speed and it sounds good. Some of y'all's AirPods be looking like they was in y'all's ass, not y'all's ears.

Me and this bitch got high and she has no food in her house. So now I'm eating a bag of cough drops. I hate it here. That was me last night. I was so hungry. I wanted to sneak into your room for talking so bad. And I ate them all. I ate a whole bag of Toxie Toxie sticks. Toxies. Toxie sticks. La Toxica. La Toxica.

La taxico, la taxica. Ugly bitches be like my... I don't know how soon this is going to hit. Ugly bitches be like my man gotta be 6'2". Bitch, you make me sick to my stomach. 6'2 to my stomach. That's good. Just chill. Just chill. That's all I got. Did you hear that? Your stomach? Yeah, I'm pretty hungry. All right. Well, thank you guys so much for watching. If you're lucky, we'll be back next week. If we make it.

If we make it... Oh, it's not that camera. If we make it...