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would you trust enya as your lawyer

2023/7/7
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Emergency Intercom

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The episode begins with a playful introduction about merch and consistency, followed by a humorous exchange about masculinity and jawlines.

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Merch is out. Merch is out. Today. Merch is out as this episode is out. Thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years, which is terrifying. I don't think there's anything in my life I've done as consistently as this. And honestly, don't be surprised if you never see my face again.

Welcome to this, wow that was a really masculine clap on your part.

Thank you. Thank you. I've been practicing it. People are like now like pointing out that I have a jawline. They haven't ever seen it before, but I got a jawline. I do. It's there. It's there. That's the new addition to Emergency Intercom. Now that we've passed 100 episodes, Drew is fully just accepting his manliness. Yeah, my jawline fantasy. And like,

Oh my god, you're literally gonna cut me off. Yeah, I'm gonna cut you off. No, say what you were gonna say. Say what you were gonna say. I don't know. Like, now you don't get it. Oh, now I don't get to hear it? It's a secret now? I mean, it was something very special, but since you want to attack me, like... No, please, please share your secret. Like, I don't know. Like, now I feel bad because apparently it was such a big thing. Um, okay. I guess. Here it goes. Bitch, I feel like one of these fucking YouTubers, like...

It can't be that serious. What are you going to do? Like, what did you do? So like with the end of Pride Month, everybody knows like LGBT vibes. My sexuality has been like a mystery for all this time. And I've been claiming straight and like it's just like whatever. I've been quote unquote straight baiting. But I just came on here to say that I am actually... You're a fucking joking rat.

Who the fuck is that? Don't worry about who I am. Are you fucking joking? No, I'm being dead serious. Wait, who are you? Don't worry about that. That's neither here nor there. I'm here to save your soul. You want to come out as a homosexual? Well, let me tell you this. That's a sin. And Jesus don't like that, and I don't like that. You shouldn't want it for yourself either.

This is so like leave him alone. Like Lily Rose that we don't have time for your stuff right now. I'm talking to the homosexual. Because you said, OK, what if I what if I said I was joking? Like what if what if what if that I'm hoping that it is a joke, just jokes and stuff like that. So he can't be gay, but he could joke about being gay. Like I don't know because being gay is a joke. That's disgusting. Actually, facts. I agree with that. Like, OK,

Okay. Okay. Well, wait, but you're a woman. You're a woman, right? And if he did, we're just sitting here saying the simple truth. He is gay and you are

In a wheelchair? Did they say that? Wait, um... I know you can stand up. I bet you can fucking stand up. No, I can't stand up. Did you stand up to your hairstylist when she styled your hair that way? Oh, that's funny. Did you stand up to your mama when I made her squirt when I hit it from the back? Well, that's you and my mama's business, not mine, sweetie. So you're not going to save your mother because she's, like, gay? No, she's beyond reach. She's 600 pounds anyway, so it's like, who cares? She'll be dead next week. She's one of the sisters.

Oh, no, I was lying. I was lying. I was just joking. Yeah, I was just joking the whole time. Like I would I would literally never participate in that lifestyle, that nasty, scary, disgusting lifestyle. Never that. That's funny because I literally have texts from Drew. Wait, I think I have. Pull up the receipts. Yeah, he's told me about he's like, OK, if you're going to bring up Grindr again, I've been telling you that is a pastor's app. I do not use that. I have a Grindr too. What are you doing there?

I pray for people. He said, yo, can I tell you something? I said, if you say you're fucking gay, I'm going to kill myself. Like for real, for real. First hour of 2023 and I will kill myself. And he said, I literally kissed a boy and I liked it. I think I'm gay. Oh my God.

I'm hoping that was a joke. That was New Year's. His New Year's kiss was a boy. So he started bringing in the new year with homosexuality. That's not how you say that word. It definitely is.

Okay, well, homosexuality, homosexuality, sexuality, TTTT. Well, actually, I was lying the whole time. That was all a bit like I was just joking. I'm not gay. Never that like, yeah, actually, how did you do that? I've got ways. I hear homosexuality. I can't don't. Is that really what this is all about for you? Is it like a thing to get off on?

No, that's a good point because you probably you are really obsessed with like the idea of gay dudes touching. No, I'm obsessed with the fact that they're being blasphemous to my Bible and to my Christian God. That's not right. I actually agree with that. I've been saying for a while now that I'm going to start my Christian arc. So my religious arc. Yeah. And keep that arc at your back and start your Christian arc.

Damn. Wow. Did you get your boobs done or are those natural? No, these are all natural. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. See, that's what I want to see. This is what I like to see. Oh, wait, okay, wait. So is that how you turn them out? That's another story that's a little bit explicit. I can't really say that here. She is a Christian woman. But you will pull your boobs out.

Well, God made boobs and I'm a woman, so why not? And I do like to suck boobs. I really do like to suck boobs and play with them. Oh my God. And you know what? I'm happy for you and I'm glad for you. Because you're out here saying that it was a mystery about your sexuality. The mystery to me is why you decided that that shirt was cute or why you have your camera on when you have a pimple on, but whatever.

Are you talking about literally this single pimple? You can barely see that. You're just nipping. How did you even know that was there? No, I'm talking about the one on your ass crack. Wait, why have you seen his ass crack? I can smell it. I can smell it from here. It's postulating. Oh, wait. No, we said leave. We said leave. Okay, you know what? I'll do that. As long as you're not a homosexual and as long as you don't ever cut bangs. I...

I actually think... Well, you have a lot to say about people's looks. It's crazy. Yes, she is ugly. Yes, she probably stinks like mildew. Yes, she probably has a dirty, filthy fucking house with a sink full of dishes. Yes, she probably has... No bitches, no swag, no friends. No money, no love, no anything. But don't stoop down to her level. And she said probably for all those things. None of those things fit her. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, I'm glad you clarified. So that's good. Yeah. The wonderful Terry Jo, everybody. Give it up. Yeah. Well, thanks for coming in and harassing us. We needed that. We need more harassment in our lives. Thanks for letting me come in and harass you. Of course. But of course. What's funny is, like, I feel like usually when it comes to the gay stuff, I'm like... But...

She took it too far. She took it too far. Even if I'm like, not that, you know, like, and I don't think you are. You don't. Nothing about you is like that. Like, yeah. But that's what I'm saying is like, you know how people are like, oh, like my thing with like, whoa, you have nail polish on your fucking nails. Yeah.

but like in like a cool like i gave oh and like an e-boy in an e-boy like yeah yeah exactly but the thing is too like that's why i'm always like oh like i don't i really don't like gay stuff but like but i can respect it like just don't do it in my face but then when i see someone attacking someone like you with that like with that illness i'm like dude that's like fucked up like that's not something you illness you don't choose to be normal or gay you just like end up that

Normal? I think everything you just said is really wrong.

oh if i'm wrong i don't want to be right but okay so i i really want to clear the air first though i don't know why i look like this today how do i turn on the filters do you know because i want to make yourself look pretty i actually don't know you seem like you would be an expert on putting on filters on your ugly face you seem like you would be able to put filters on your ugly face is it in apps no kai do you know how to

I think you go into settings, preference. I just don't know how to do that kind of stuff. Where's settings? Go to Zoom. Are you on Windows? Oh, I'm sweating. I'm sweating really crazy right now. Wow. Oh, I don't know where it's at on Windows, but just it should be like three dots. It should be in your preferences.

Yeah, and then go to... I look like I'm in one of the Kylie Genders photo booths at their birthday parties. Oh, wow. Yeah, you actually really do. If you put me in black and white. And then you put Kenny's 26th birthday, it's like...

Oh, it's touch up my appearance. Is it in the settings? How do I get to the settings on here? Oh my gosh, never used a computer before. You must be really fucking borrowed. Do you right click or do you click view? Exit full screen maybe? I don't care. I don't care. But thank you, Kai. I'm just going to live my life. Yeah, just like being fucking ugly. I just have never had a filter on before.

Wait, am I still in the call? Oh my god, Kai. Yes, you are, because we can't stop hearing you. Oh, okay. Just kidding, bro. Let's go. Kai is not dead. It looks like I'm looking to the camera. Okay. Also, y'all, Kai is not dead or retired. Ah!

I've been here the whole time. He's been here the whole time, but he's doing as a man should do and being silent. Yes. You've seen that that video of you is going viral. People are using it as an audio like the no man one.

oh i saw that and that one and then there was another one where i was like no matter what romantic relationship i'm in like you will just never be my girls stop i saved that i saved that on my phone because i was like that that one is so fucking cute and the one of me and you hugging is so fucking cute wait guys click this for a viral audio on tiktok if you are sad you should just fucking kill yourself because your life will not fucking change because you have no fucking motivation to make it better so why do you just think it will set

be better. Oh, no, no, no. And you have dirty clothes all over your bed. You have nasty dirty clothes. Clean your dirty clothes. And Duster's playing in the background because you're a fucking loser. Oh, I like Duster. I like Duster. Hello. Like, oh my God. Like, I've had enough. Hey, I do actually have something I want to talk about. Okay, then do it. Y'all heard, I don't know if you've heard about this, but that submarine at the bottom of the ocean is

You ever heard about that thing? It's been down there for... The Titanic? Three weeks now. The Titanic or... Yeah, the one that went down to the bottom of the ocean to see the Titanic. Wait, someone went in a submarine to go look at the Titanic? Yes. I actually did watch a video of a guy who was supposed to go on it and I was like, dude, we are so disconnected from the reality we were meant to be forking towards because...

He...

This is after like they watch this video the Dali one the way he kept mentioning it like and remember everyone died everyone I was dying laughing at that shit too cuz I was like and he was like and I got his signature like it's probably the last thing he signed before he died like he's done like I Actually have like a very hot take on it like everybody in the world is like making fun of these people for going to the bottom of the ocean

girl like they're dead and their families are sad like stop making jokes like I was thinking that like last night I was watching a video and it was like I was on TikTok and every single one was people making jokes and I was like yes they're billionaires but this is this is kind of sad this is like crushed underwater dystopian level shit like it's sad like I wouldn't want them to do that about my family if they died

Girl, I know you have some shit to say. Say it. I was going to say, that's literally how our dead family members feel about us. I know, like, literally. Wow, where does that respect when it comes to me? I'd be like, oh, you fucked my dead, stinky, like, mom. My brother and grandpa and your mom are, like, threesome-ing and having and doing squirt squad games. Like, I say that shit. Guys literally have respect for the dead. Like, really? Like...

Like, no room to talk. But no, I like... My take on it is I'm glad they died fast because everybody was dying to know our take. I'm glad they died fast. Since you didn't finish that, I'm glad they died. No, I'm glad the billionaires died and killed over. Obviously, it is sad, but I think the jokes... It was such a good thing for comedy. Oh, it was such good low-hanging fruit. That's like the...

It was the one time where like everybody was joking about the same thing and I had a hard time being annoyed. Oh, my God. Actually, I have a really funny thing because I was texting my friend about it and I was like, oh, like it's so annoying that everybody's talking about this fucking stupid thing. Like it's it reminds me of on Twitter when everybody would rush to make the best viral tweet. It was Harambe 2.0.

It was the biggest like media news event for that entire week. I think I've ever experienced in my life, like literally a list celebrity status, like news event, like everyone in the fucking world was talking about it. And like, don't get me wrong. Like I did indulge in the content and I was eating that shit up. But like the more I sat with it, the more I was like,

Wait, they're, like, dead. Like, this is kind of sad. But I was eating that shit up and I was, like, close to making my own fucking videos and shit. But, like, glad I did it because my take changed. You're serving, like, when men do shrooms and they're like, guys. I have empathy. I told my dad. Wait a second. I told my dad the other day. I was like, dad, like, you really need to do mushrooms so you can get empathy. Because, like, that's the only way men gain empathy. But...

And he did not think it was funny at all. He was like, he was like, dude, why would I do fucking drugs? I would never do fucking drugs. I was like, do you know who I am? Do you know who your son is? I am the drug Lord. Hey, L-O-R-D-E. The Drew Lord. I am Lord, la la la. I am Lord. My fucked up joke about the submarine was, I was like, damn, I really, I was texting a friend and I had sent an audio message where I was like,

damn i'm like don't joke about this but who would i fuck in there because i would have to fuck one last time oh i know who i would oh yeah i know too you know you know there is one person on there that i said smash to and then that made me feel fucked up i was like who who's on the submarine and i literally went through it was like smash pass pass pass there was one other smash in there and i won't give his picture

or say who it is but i just know he's an eater and that's why like that was my thing is like i know he would like suck on my clit like there's oxygen oh my god like an oxygen nozzle oh wow no this is crazy um this is crazy i just know like also i know they're hungry so like he would eat it up

They didn't bring enough food for it to be down there all that time. Okay, that's my take. The TB&J sandwich and the two cookies. It's not filling. No, okay, but no, genuinely, that is my take on it. Like, everybody's been dying to know what Drew Phillips' take on this submarine is. Yeah, there have been multiple viral tweets and TikToks being like, guys, they haven't spoken about this. Yeah, I'm glad they died, period. Yeah.

because they're billionaires and we okay but the one problem i have with it genuinely the one problem i have with it is i didn't get to eat the remains because it's giving eat the rich baby like where like guy wait guy who thinks eat the rich means literally physically eating them like ew true stop you explained that joke to me

I'm gonna fucking kill myself. I'm gonna do it tonight. I had a big bit planned and the big bit. Wait, hold on. Let me come back. I have a big bit. You're literally freaking out. Well, I actually have a question. Okay, here's what I said. I'm not answering it, so don't even ask it.

fine i guess kai will answer it how about that i'll answer it yeah okay people don't need to see me in 4k sorry sorry i don't know because i don't look like this y'all i really don't like i swear i'm sexy like i'm sexy like i was in the last episode like i don't look like this please how do i how do i i need to turn it on okay keep going though ask questions um

Would you trust me to be your lawyer? I'd fight for any reason unless the one thing I will not fight for is if it is my homeboy who cheated on his significant other. I will not be fighting for you. But if you are my homegirl who cheated on your significant other, I will still be fighting for you. I go to the death for my homegirls. Like, girls deserve to cheat. Would I trust you as my lawyer? Yes.

but like that's what i was thinking i feel like i'd be like without like any you'd lie for me like you you know the truth and you'd still lie for me and you'd what is it perjury like what is it like is that what it is like you'd purge the whole fucking bible or whatever i don't know what the fuck that means i think perjury is like lying in court like i oh bitch i'd lie anywhere i would literally lie that's my that's what i think too that's i forgot what it was but there was something i was talking about recently where i was just like

I don't fucking know. I was just talking about lying and how like, really like do I actually care like, but about small things I have to be very clear like all the bits on here. Look how fucking monstrous this is I gotta stop looking at how do I turn off my camera so I can't see myself because I like and looking at myself too much this is always a fucking problem on the zoom episodes like I look like literally ultra uber cracker right now like I'm clear my skin is clear.

yeah why are you pale when you're like in texas right now i think it's this light maybe because steven put on this giant fucking light it's like huge hold on i'm gonna take a picture of it it's ginormous hold on let me put my hand up to it but i mean look how fucking big this light is it's like ginormous like it's insane but anyways i will insert a photo of it yeah i want to see it because can you and anya like figure this situation

you're not supposed to fucking talk about that on the podcast oh my god give her to me give her to me oh my god dude i'm not doing this i know i'm not doing this okay fine like what do you want from me oh my god i actually haven't seen her in so long she's gotten huge i know it's been what three years this is a three-year-old right

yeah yeah oh my god i don't even remember what it was like to give birth to that thing but keep it there leave it there i don't want it so i'm still like not really don't you really don't because i think she's like literally the most perfect baby ever no and i told you before we had another fucking kid i didn't want to have another fucking kid and you forced me to have another kid and i don't want to be around it she's so confused right now she's like wait where are these people okay

She literally is so cute. I'm not kidding. Make her smile.

seeing her on camera almost makes me want to like be a mother and take care of her again but then I really think about it and I'm like damn I couldn't go wow I couldn't lie I couldn't fuck I couldn't smoke like those are all like crucial things to my lifestyle and I just don't want a fucking kid around to stop me like I agree and that's why I'm gonna pass her back to Madeline and Steven and they can keep the lie up okay we put we put 50 grand into your bank account I know is that not enough

Like, do you want a life or do you want 50 grand? Like, I'm so confused. Okay. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. How do you, how do you think they own this house? Think about that. Also, I'm sorry. Like little, Oh, he just said, I know a little podcast that takes care of our fucking kid. And it's little. Wow. The,

The thing is, once they told me that my kid can't smoke for another three years, I was like, I'm not having this around me. No. Also, like, the fact that babies can't smoke joints is how, like, embarrassing. I know. Like, pack your fucking lungs. Pack your lungs. Get your lungs ready. That's what I've been saying is, like, literally grow up challenge. Like, that's the one thing. Like, I'll hang out with her when she's three years old, four years old, whatever age. Because then she can hold her own cigarette. That's the annoying part, too, is you can...

hold the cigarette to the baby, but, like, you have to, like, sit there and, like, be, like, kind of pat their baths so they start breathing in and, like, coughing. Also, the fact that she is a Pabst Blue Ribbon baby and not a Corona baby, I've, like, had enough. Like, how are you going to drink Pabst Ribbon around me and not drink Corona? I don't know. It's...

it's just you're giving your baby alcohol she's begging for it i know and you're saying it like it's a problem like i'm sorry mr like oh like what are you gonna do call the fucking police like we're gonna be our parents that is a problem everyone knows you're not supposed to give babies okay but she's crying all the time and she's like gesturing like she needs to drink something like

Yeah, that's exactly what me and Drew are doing when we start withdrawing from the alcohol. We're like, give me, give me, give me, give me. And so when we saw her doing that, we were like, oh, she needs a bottle. And that's why we need her to drink Corona and not pop Spoo Ribbon is because that can is just not for babies. A bottle is for a baby.

No, that's not what I'm in the wrong for. We usually just put a balloon at the top of the Corona bottle. Like we roll it down almost kind of like a condom, but it's like the balloon. And then we bite a tiny little tip into it and then she can suck on the beer bottle. Like it's a nipple. Yeah. Like it's a boob. First of all, I've never, I didn't even know you guys had this baby. Unky Kai didn't know.

So I've never even met the baby. You're not her uncle, babe. You're not her uncle, babe. So you are fucking not her uncle. Bitch, we're not even her parents. You're not the uncle.

Guys, that was all jokes. I love my Luna girl so much. I, you know, what's crazy is like, I look at that baby and I really think she's mine at some points where I'm just like, I would die for her. And like, I've never really felt that about another baby in my entire life. But for some reason, like the oxytocin Kim's like work very heavily when I'm looking at her, like Bela, like, yeah, like the boys. Yeah. I would take bullets for them, but like,

specifically Luna I don't know what it is I think it's because like maybe full blood or like Madeline is my twin so something something is seriously different and like I would protect that baby like with with my life like genuinely like not even in a joking way like I fucking love her so much and like watching her grow has been so big for me and I'm literally I love her I love her so much I don't have any baby in my life so hello I'm right here I'm baby

baby no babies literally freak me out and like yeah but Luna is so cute and that's the closest to a baby from someone my age that I know and I still think that I don't know I'm still like in between where I'm like I want kids but maybe like I shouldn't

ever do that yeah also madeline and steven like are literally such good fucking parents that they make it almost look easy i know that's the trick i feel like luna is such a trick baby and then madeline and steven even as a couple are a trick couple like yeah they are genuinely too good i'm like

Obviously, I'm like something. There has to be something here. And I actually know what it is. It's Madeline lets me hit from time to time. So it's because she's a kid.

Um, that's my sister, bro. You can't be banging my sister. And y'all are twins. And let me tell you, the sex is the same. I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

Okay, okay. So all of a sudden you get to bang my sister. But when I bang Kai's sister and don't tell him and I tell you, you get on to me that it's a big problem. Well, because that is a problem and you need to tell him. And I guess now you've told him, but he doesn't seem that bothered. Well, you know what's funny is me and Madeline have been like this. Like we've just been like inseparable. We've just been like this recently. Like we're just like so close. Y'all are just like...

like interlocked I'm like oh my god we're like we're like like that is actually so fucking funny we're so close that was like a banger that was like almost that was as good if not better than big parma I still think that might be the best joke ever made on here period and not enough attention has been like drawn to that bit but big parma hold on

Yes, I have a Bitcoin. Something is deeply fucking wrong with you. I think my best joke was a joke I made on the Patreon episode when I said that the first caveman who rode Dick, they were probably like all tweaking. They were like, damn, you can sit on it too? Like, once like the first few cavemen who started doing like different positions, they were like, damn.

You're literally innovating like crazy. I saw something recently that was like the first like human to have twins must have been like, what the fuck is going on? Like literally what is going on? It's the same thing like with blowjobs. No, yeah. The first one to give head was probably like. Now, hold on. Whoa.

Whoa. Or the first one to get head. The first one to give head was like literally brave because nobody else had done it before. And they had to have just been like, listen, I know it's kind of gross because you piss out of there, but let me put my mouth on it. Trust. Trust. I swear. I'm like, trust the process. Trust the process. I swear this is going to change everything.

No, this isn't even going to change our lives. This is going to change the lives of the human race. And that actually quite literally might be the moment that humans transcended consciousness from caveman to like human hominid or whatever the fuck we are.

No, literally because that was like the moment we genuinely started seeking simple like pleasures and like human connection. And you know what's crazy? And what's crazy is a lot of people like to be like, oh, it was the mushrooms. Like it was the Neanderthals taking mushrooms. Like, no, bitch, it was the first orgasm from a blowjob. And then they spread it like wildfire. They were like, look, you got to try this shit. And it was pre-fucking STDs, which like, damn, yeah.

Yeah, they got to all just get ran through. But they were having babies, like, left and right. Because they probably just didn't know. Damn, do you know how pissed I'd be? Every time you had sex. To get fucking pregnant from having sex. I would be like...

bitch i didn't know that was gonna happen like this is bullshit and for the girl i bet it wasn't even hitting like that it was just like okay like keep it pushing like no for real it was like no vibrator no fun like no foreplay foreplay wasn't invented yet like it was dead ass 13 seconds and he was like you seen that like um video of the uh turtle like having sex and moaning like

That's literally what it was like, but in 13 seconds. Okay, how did they come to the conclusion that vibrators were lit? Like somebody had to have sat on something they weren't supposed to be sitting on. Xbox controller.

You've seen the first one. You've seen the first, like, vibrator ever made. It looks like a torture device. I'm pretty sure. I'm not joking. Like, this isn't fact. This is all theory. But, like, I believe that, like, maybe they were inventing it as, like, a torture device. And, like, they started torturing people. I'm like, no, don't torture me. No, I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch. I am a witch. I'm like, no, don't tie me down. Don't torture me. I love talking about sex with you guys. Stop.

How do we kick this guy? You can't kick me. I'm telling you, bro. Like, they're fucking crazy. How does it vibrate? I think it's that little pad. It's like a little, like, jackhammer. Baragun. Yeah. But y'all ever heard of... Yeah, it was a medieval torture device, girl.

Did you wind it up? I'm about to commit a crime. I'm really about to commit a crime. Girl, we need to get you one of those. That would be actually hilarious. I bet you could find one on eBay. Look at all the attachments. That's crazy. That's what you put your espresso in before you hook it up to your machine. Pull the nut and the different attachments make the cup. Okay. We need to get you one of those, though, off eBay. I'm sure you can find one. Yeah. You know how Marcus, what's his name?

opened an unsealed iphone oh mkbh to open an unsealed tortured device did they have packaging back then that's such a trivial question i don't i don't know where that came from oh polar cub electric damn imagine being the face of one of the first vibrators like sign me up she says like that's historic really um y'all ever heard of beekeeping age y'all know what that is

No. Yeah. We're all attracted to be or me and you are attracted to be keeping age. It's like you're old enough to like start keeping bees like you're you pasture like you're in your real prime, like your 30s or your prime, but like your 40s are like your 30s are like fun. Still being like silly. Yeah.

And your 40s, 50s are like, damn, you really hit. You are having sex like tomorrow is your last day. Yeah. Like, you know, you're doing like you are going to hit like it is your last meal. Because it very well could be you could have a heart attack. Like for real. Wait, what did you just say? You said before that there was something that sparked the thought. I said because your 30s are. Oh, yeah. Men are.

Do you think the men now, like me specifically, and like everybody taking selfies now, do you think they're going to be taking selfies in their 30s and 40s? Like, and I really do think that is a thing. But you shouldn't even be taking selfies in the first place. Well, I'm allowed to. Let's get that. Oh, yeah, because you're special in your own ways.

Um, I think so. Because my dad be taking hella selfies, like, but he takes them like he'll if he's with somebody with like, yeah, he loves taking like a picture with whoever he's with. But my dad isn't really sitting around like, like taking a selfie because he's like a man and knows how to build a house if he needed to. Your dad texted me that he was freaking out over a doppelganger y'all saw. And it's

It is the craziest doppelganger I have ever seen. I know it was crazy. The second we entered the restaurant, he was like, look at Drew. And I was like, what? But my dad, I've realized I get so much of my humor from my dad. My dad and me are literally these Muppets when we're hanging out because I've been hanging out with my dad just in the city. Wait, hold on. Why is it not focusing? How do I make it focus? You got to push it forward because it's like focusing on you.

No, you have to push your phone forward. Yeah. Oh, no, you cover your face. Just put the phone over your face. Do like this. And your phone. Jesus, man. How? How? It's literally insane. That's me in 10 years. It was like kind of freaking me out. Me in 10 years challenge. Like, look at that. You can't even tell a difference, really.

I mean, he's like a lot more mid than me. Like, he's not as bad. Yeah, I will say you are sexier, which is like kind of fucked up because that's just a random man who was in a restaurant with me and my dad. And now we're talking about him on a...

on a podcast where a bunch of people will watch but he's a good looking man just not as good looking as you yeah exactly exactly i mean if anybody looks even relatively like me it's game over for the rest of the men because like it's hard to compete with this bone structure yeah it's hard to compete with one very mid-white guy with another like kind of mid-white guy yeah um this is literally who my

My dad and me are, by the way. Like, when we're out in public, this is us. That's awesome. All we did the past three days was...

go out and talk shit about the people we saw like i wish that was a joke like mosa like literally no that's literally where i get it from it's like my dad being she's most as fuck literally just pointing at people laughing and like joking around and also he's so funny because people obviously don't smoke cigars like that anywhere but miami and even in miami people don't like smoke i just smoking cigars isn't really a thing anymore but my dad will be walking down

like manhattan like walking around manhattan and puffing a fucking cigar and it's so funny and i asked him i was like i was like do you like pay attention like do you like see if anybody's looking at you for and he's like no

Muppets are having their Renaissance right now. One and two. I love being the age where like, there's like a threshold that you cross. And I don't know exactly what ages it is, but like it starts slowly after you turn 18. And like, by the time you're 25, you are considered like an adult in all of your family's eyes, even if you're the baby of the family. And now,

Now all me and my family do is talk shit about each other and like talk shit about like other people. And like I'm finally included in all of the conversations and being told all the things that like I wasn't allowed to know growing up. And it is such a fucking amazing thing. Like just being a part of like the family dramas and shit. Dude, I know it's literally the best thing to happen is like the fact that

now that I'm older I could just talk to my family about anything which is also like obviously a blessing because I realized that that's like not that common a lot of people our age aren't very close to their family um but I literally like will go out to drink with my mom or my dad or like go out to a restaurant or a cafe and like walk around with them and we can literally talk

four hours and yes we will be talking shit about my other siblings and i will be talking shit about one parent to the other and kiki and gossiping but it's so crazy to be able to do that like yeah it's really actually sick right hold on i'm doing something you guys have um a ukulele i could use super random absolutely fucking not

Why the fuck would you need a ukulele? I have to make an apology video. So I just like... Oh my god. Stop, dude. I thought that I would bust it out. Guys, honestly, hot take. The song was fucking bomb. No, literally my take is... She made the song of the summer. Girl, literally. No, my take is like obviously never that. Like that is the worst thing you could ever, ever possibly do. Like stupid, stupid, stupid, dumb. But...

Kind of fucking genius because all of us are completely ignoring everything she actually did, which like I don't really know the full scope of it. I've only seen the apology and what she apologized for. But everyone is ignoring that in talking about how terrible the apology was and how terrible the song was. But they're not really caring about like the contents of the apology, which I'm like, girl, like something you did work somehow because like,

But she's obviously, like, in, like, a very bad mental state because, like, why on earth? I know. Why the fuck did your grown ass do that? Like, that shit is so funny. Like, damn. Also, those kind of things freak me out because I'm like, you don't just...

like record that and upload it you record it you sit on it you edit it you look at it you try again like that wasn't her first take like she had to like write it out try it like do a whole thing and she still pushed forward to doing it um but i'm probably gonna also join you kai for your apology ukulele song

Because I have to apologize for begging your mama so hard that she squirted and propelled through the ceiling and broke all her bones. Yeah, it was like really, really scary. Really? She went through the ceiling? She was ejected from the house? Yeah, you know those like backpack jet things that you could take on the water and the water shoots down and like shoots you up? Yeah. She essentially did that with her own squirt and burst through the ceiling. I mean, the repairs are like fucking, it's going to cost me a fortune. Well, I'm glad that she squirted a lot, honestly.

Drew, you look gross. I just tried the new Jeffree Star palette. So I was just playing around with some makeup. Oh, you're Shane Dawson era. Like playing. Yeah. Is that adding a beard to you too? Like it's a beard and lipstick combo? Yeah, your beard's going through the mic. Oh. Weird. That's literally so weird. What the heck? Yeah.

everybody sometimes you look like an animatronic oh yes that's what i want that's what i want to fucking play with um

how the fuck do i stop this? like i literally can't. - anya, anya, anya, you're a bunny. anya, you're a rabbit. anya, you're a rabbit and it's really scary actually. um okay so let's move on. - okay. look wait i fixed it. so now, now i really look like i'm in the kendall gender um like photo booth like. - is giving to like your beauty. - and it's when they always have a glass of like

it literally is that that is literally it that is so funny like somebody had to have just been on zoom playing around and then they were like i know exactly what i need at my party yeah okay well first let's talk about that damn that looks have you been going to the gym that looks crazy yeah i've been doing a bunch of push-ups not the gym i was gonna get a 30 gym membership but i was like

I don't have a car when I'm here, so I'm not going to be able to actually go to the gym unless I go at like 7 a.m. So I decided against it. But what I did come to the conclusion is that, I mean, this is not a hot take at all, but like football is like gay, like real. So someone got a little excited. Your voice cracked. Yeah.

I don't know I just was possessed or some shit I don't fucking know that was weird I saw like red I've been seeing red a lot recently like I miss fighting um you missed fighting yeah I'm a fighter what have you been watching football like what no I just saw a clip of football

And I was like, huh, this is like, we know this is gay. But then I like really thought about like how football is played. And you know, like the hike, like right in the beginning when they like snap the ball to the quarterback and the quarterback. Yeah, they all have their face in each other's butt. Yes, they're like topping each other. Like it's the quarterback is topping like the big, big, burly, hairy, sexy man. Like it's so gay. You might just be like. You might be projecting. Yeah, you might be into like a.

Men. Absolutely fucking not. But yeah, that was kind of my take. But I still love basketball. Basketball is lit. Like, I love b-ball. You, like, being obsessed with basketball is actually the most insane thing to me. Like, it still doesn't make sense and part of me thinks you're lying. No, no. It's very real. Like, I could tell you the top five draft picks from this NBA lottery pick. Spurs got Victor Wibinyama, freak of nature. Like, literally...

Probably the next LeBron James or like very close to like, he won't be like as powerful as him, but he will revolutionize the game in a crazy way. Number two should have been scoot Henderson, but it was Brandon Miller. Number three was scoot Henderson. He played for G league at night. He will be a generational talent. I'm giving like, it's giving like,

Kyrie Irving not the same handles but like the same trajectory of career maybe Dame and for what this is actually really interesting I actually feel like you guys might be interested in this but there was a pair of twins who went to they didn't go to college they didn't go to the G League they went to this thing called do what

Okay. Oh, I said I'm all ears. Yeah. Okay. You were cutting out, but they're a pair of twins and it's a men in a SAR Thompson and they went four in five in the draft, which is fucking crazy. And like, they are so goddamn elite generational talents again, like really just like, I don't know. I just, I love basketball because like, I love seeing like, what the fuck is this?

What is going on? So technical difficulties over. Hello. But you know what I was thinking about? Valley girls give blowjobs for no Louboutins head over heels. That's not that is literally one of the greatest lyrics I think I've ever heard. Really dissected Valley girls. Valley girls give blowjobs for nose jobs. Girl, what are you on about?

Is that not what it is? No, it's Iggy Azalea saying Valley Girls get blowjobs for Louis Vuittons. That's head over heels. No money, no family. 16. You sound like me right now. I know. This is crazy. Valley Girls get blowjobs for Louis Vuittons. Head over heels. What you call that? Oh, yeah. Head over heels. Oh, wow. Is that not insane? Like, really think about it and dissect that lyric.

Okay, we're back again. What water is that? It's Poland Springs. Girl, I'm not joking. I thought Irish soap, whatever that Irish soap is, made water Poland or what is it called? Irish Spring. It's Irish Springs. Yeah, I was like, Irish Springs is like a good ass soap. That's all we use as kids. Oh, what the fuck? What was that? Dude, mute yourself. What the fuck? Do you have like a diaper on? What?

Did he just shit his pants? Oh my god. I don't know. I didn't shit my pants. I have a toilet. Oh! I've been sitting here for a week. Wait, what? Yeah, I shit through that hole and I pissed through this pipe. Are you serious? Yeah, I've been doing this the whole episode silently. Dude, literally, what the fuck is wrong? But that one hurt for some reason. But look. You've just been sitting there with your dick inside of a hose this entire time? Yeah, see? Bruh.

Eww! Stop it, dude! I never needed to see that in my fucking life. Yeah, so that's kind of what I've been on recently. I've actually sat here for three days in a row. That's like the longest I've gone. It's only been like eight hours.

But like you wiping where you put it on the paper. No, not wiping. No, I don't wipe it. It's really itchy. And like I need I what I do is if I do get up, like I'll just scoot my ass on the carpet and there's like a bunch of brown stains. It probably won't focus. But there's like a bunch of like a dog, like a bunch of brown stains over there. So yeah.

I'm just kind of like figuring that shit out. I know. What do you mean figuring that shit out? That's, that's insane. You can just like use toilet paper or go to the fucking toilet. Yeah. And then get up and lose my games, bro. Like I'm playing Valorant and Diablo two and shit like League of Legends type shit. Like you can't pause an online game, bro.

Okay. So where does all the piss go? Like, is there some sort of a jug or something? Yeah, there's a big here. I'll pick it up, but I really don't want to spill it. Oh, fuck. It stings. Okay. There's a huge bucket of piss. Got it. Oh, my God. It's like piss. Dude, I'm literally going to call the police. You're creating a hazard for also our child lives there. Like, you're now you want her. Now you want her.

chemical warfare well i just don't want to go to fucking jail you're so fucking stupid everything i do everything i fucking do you have a problem with and i'm done i'm tired i'm fed up you're sick to me you're evil you're a wick and you're a danger i said like literally three weeks ago bro i've been sitting on it for like fucking three days now like jesus christ

Dude, something is actually fucking wrong with you. Because I shit in a bucket. Where did we used to shit when we were cavemen? In the woods. Yeah, but you're not in the woods. You are in like a home with AC and you're sitting at a computer and we're currently on a video chat. Like we have gone far past shitting in the woods. Oh, would you rather me get up and leave? Yes.

I actually genuinely do think that porta potties and shit like that is inhumane because I don't want to be in an area where it's collecting like that and in my opinion I think it would be better if we were just shitting in the dirt and like digging around like why can't I just pop a

squat like why can i not just pop a squat wherever i am because your cooter bronson would be exposed to everyone but that's another conversation because why do we sexualize the human body so much that we can't just like do human things and be in our og form could you imagine us running around like i would be so fucking cold if i didn't have clothes on like literally what did we do before that did we like you know what i mean like we evolved awfully

um in that aspect yeah but i mean like we we were just killing animals and using their fur so we were like still lit you know yeah that's true we were using yeah yeah um okay well i want to talk about a couple more things have you seen um the dude put nair on his butthole on youtube no and did it burn okay i'm gonna show you the video um look up uh wait let me look it up real quick

there YouTube it's going to be the craziest thing and I want to get your live reaction there let me find the video I hope it's still up Kevin Leonardo where is and both of y'all watch it at the same time it's like the first three seconds it is

potentially the craziest shit I've ever seen on YouTube. I mean, not even potentially. It is the craziest shit I've seen on YouTube ever. Does he show his butt? Just watch. Wait, okay, wait. I'm still trying to find it. Okay. Removing buttheads using their visual guide. Okay, I'm going to mute. No, don't mute yourself. Don't mute yourself. Unmute yourself. Unmute yourself. For reference, this is how hairy my butthole is. And then spread. For reference, this is how hairy my butt is right now.

And girl, no, it gets even crazier. It gets even crazier. He lathers his ass in there and like puts it up his butthole a little bit and he's like rubbing his fucking butthole in taint. Yeah, and then he wipes it off like with a paper towel. I actually find men's bodies like literally repulsive. Like I shouldn't see that. No, no one should. How did this happen?

It's because it's educational because you can watch people put condoms on on YouTube. You can watch breastfeeding on YouTube. Yeah, look up people putting condoms. Steven was putting me on. He was like, you can see people breastfeeding. You can see boobies. This is crazy. The breastfeeding one, women should be able to breastfeed without being sexualized. Ew, ew, ew. I'm sorry, but showing the wiping

and what was left on the napkin. Like that was like- - That was too far. - Dude, this is insane. I had no idea you could do this. - Yeah, if you just frame it as educational, look up people putting condoms on. Like you can see people with an erect penis on different shapes and sizes putting condoms on. And it's like a thing. - No way.

yes i did not know this and i think you can even watch like jerk off tutorials on youtube i could be tripping but i think like it goes that deep oh my god this is crazy is it the one with like a bunch of people like it was 2018 when it was posted no the one i just watched

Just, ew, ew, ew. Dude, dicks are so fucking nasty. I'm watching guys in front of like a pink screen with bones. Yeah, that's the one I was watching. I almost just showed it to the screen. That was really fucking gross. That's insane. I don't know how I didn't know about that. Oh my god. I know, that's what I was saying. I was like, dude, if I was like, yeah,

like i would be all i would have been all over this shit when i was 12 years old like you would be you would be on your girls kissing girls exactly that was our version of that is like girls kissing girls but instead i was on my breastfeeding shit i was like watching breastfeeding videos and getting like so boned up to that shit like i don't even want to talk about it like for

bursting through my shorts type shit like y'all saw it y'all just saw it i still would have to have a bigger wiener for it to burst through your shorts and i've just never seen that happen okay seriously girl

Well, you're a girl. Sorry. Hate to be the fact checker here, but that's just not true. Okay. Let's get the news and the media straight. Like, this is a witch hunt out for me saying I have a tiny penis. And, like, that's just not true. This is a witch hunt. The media lies. What is it? Media? The news and the media. But what Donald Trump says. Trump. Fake news. Fake news. Donald Trump. Fake news. Donald Trump.

The news and the media. I got one more thing. I got one more thing to talk about and then we can move on. I was going to transition it perfectly. I was going to be like, speaking of news and the media.

But no, continue. I was going to say we can either talk about because I have two notes because we have to record another episode. So I have like 500 notes that are all bangers. But we can either talk about the manufactured Xi'an trip that is basically North Korea or we can talk about Nikki Blonsky. We've talked about Nikki Blonsky.

um i don't know much about the xian thing i just know that it is actually insane to end up on the propaganda xian team like there is no money in the world that makes that makes sense and i genuinely am i don't know if they got paid like in my head they didn't get paid i feel like they got paid bank because like

why on earth one would you do that they put a bunch of money into that thing to like uh fix their reputation like i guarantee it was like a 50 to 60 million dollar like campaign like

Not paying these influencers that much, but hiring all these people and all these cameras and all the flights and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I bet they built that facility out to like... I don't know, but do you know what we're talking about, Kai? No, what happened? These influencers got invited on a trip for Shein, which is notoriously like...

destroying like fast fashion. Like I'm just saying this for the people who might not know, but like they like notorious fast fashion, awful working conditions, like really abusive towards their workers and don't pay them like for their work. And mind you, it's a company that now as of May is evaluated at $66 billion. One of the biggest companies. Yeah. One of the biggest companies in the entire world. And yeah,

have been getting a lot of flack recently because someone did like a hit job documentary on them where they like went in there and showed the op like snuck cameras in the awful working conditions and like whatever like there's proof of this of them being terrible and

Well, they hired a bunch of influencers and flew them out to China to show them that like, look, like that's none of that shit was real. This is the real like Xi'an factory. And like the videos they showed, like it was like those videos of

North Korea where like they bring out tourists and like they're in that big office building and they're all none of them are typing but they're all sitting at their desk and none of them are working but they like are faking like there's office jobs in North Korea and just like faking like there's like a civilization there that's like not being fucking like

killed starved to death and they did the same thing at Xi'an where they like faked like the factories were nice and like all of these influencers like yeah it literally was just like they were being used as props to like subdue and they literally had one of the girls who got a bunch of backlash

go back on TikTok and be like, I'm addressing the rumors. So they had her call all of the insane... Dude, it was so funny. I didn't watch her whole video because I was like, bitch, this is crazy. But I saw a really funny stitch where it was somebody holding up paper being like... Because she literally was talking to the camera. She was like, I'm here to address all the rumors about Shein. For instance...

what their production issues, they don't have that. And they treat... Like, she just kept looking off camera, like, at a sheet or something to, like, hit all her points. I was like, damn, bitch. Like, you couldn't even just remember three points and just, like, riff it. You had to just be like... So, yeah, the problem is they don't have... I do. They don't starve people. They don't do that. Yeah, for real. I wonder, like...

I feel like the people that like were tricked into like going to China, like the influencers, like I feel like they might have actually believed it in a way and like just not done their research. And like, obviously they're blinded by the check. Like also, even if they're not getting paid, I'm sure a lot of them like, cause a lot of those like brand trips don't aren't paid for.

like opportunities what they are is like you're in exchange for full stay full nice travel being like accommodated getting a per diem each day so you basically get free travel for upwards of like usually three or four days to in exchange for content and i'm sure a lot of them were like dude in what world would i be able to not only go to china and explore china but you

get flown their business class like it be in like a gorgeous hotel and all these things so I bet a bunch of them were like oh okay like yeah like maybe I'm gonna delude myself into thinking that part of this is true um because I want to be able to have that experience but I'm like girl

That would literally be like somebody being like, hey, we'll get you like round trip to D.C. or wherever the fuck Trump is living now. And was like, we're going to give you round trip, put you up in like a four seasons. All you have to do is like film Trump and be like, guys, the rumors about him are not true. Like, isn't that what Casey Neistat did for Hillary Clinton? Like, I'm pretty sure they paid him. Yeah. Yeah. It was I think it was I think the number leaked and like

I this could be like the most insane like over exaggeration in life. So take it with a grain of salt, but I do know he was paid for that. But I'm pretty sure it was like 200 grand to make that video on YouTube, like by his like team by or by Hillary's team to make that like video on her, which like, honestly, like, I don't know. I don't know. There's there's just a lot of moral gray area there. It's like, what if he actually did believe in her and like,

I don't know, like, if I would take money to, like, promote, like, something I believe in that heavily. But, I mean, if it's 200 grand and it's sitting me in front of my face and I'm, like, wanting to, like, drop out whatever I'm doing because he was in the era where he didn't want to work on YouTube anymore, I wonder if, like, he just was like, fuck it. Like, this isn't hurting anybody. Yeah, it's definitely... It's also, like, definitely a hard line to walk, especially if you're somebody who has a family or wants to provide for your family. Like, I...

Bitch, put me in the wrong position. And I'm like, I'm sorry, my family needs a house. And my dad needs to stop being a hard labor worker. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take the track. Like, low key, if somebody paid me to post a video of Trump, I would. But it's because nobody would believe it. Like, it would be so funny. Like, if I posted a video for Trump.

with like a bunch of money behind me not a single person who knows who i am would watch that video be like damn i can't believe she stands exactly it would be like girl this is so donald chomp coded yeah get the fucking bag like that's how i feel about a lot of shit when i'm just like people i don't know but yeah i just thought that like she and trip was like hilarious and like people like bending the knee to um the dollar is just it's just so funny to bend the knee to be a part of like

extreme propaganda like that's what i'm like girl you're not even bending the knee being like yeah like i don't love this perfume but i'm gonna post it like i'm being paid to post it but like yeah i don't like actually think this company is abusing children and their workers and like polluting exactly exactly but i do want to add another stamp in my passport so i'm gonna do it like that is what's so funny is like i just want to travel

I'm going to become the face of propaganda. Yeah, for traveling. And she definitely did not foresee it becoming this big of a thing. Yeah, not at all. I mean, she definitely didn't foresee two of the most top tier podcasters talking about. Exactly, exactly. Hey guys, I just wanted to say thank you because of you guys. We are a tier one podcast and

Which means we're at the top of the top of the top. We want to be on top. Oh, also, before we end this episode, we should probably throw this in the beginning.

merch is out merch is out today merch is out as this episode is out thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years which is terrifying i don't think there's anything in my life i've done as consistently as this and honestly don't be surprised if you never see my face again all right whoa um

Did she just leave? I think so. I think so. But yeah, merch is out. Love the designs. I think my favorite is obviously the hoodie. If I could wear the baby tee, I would. But then somewhere something went terribly wrong or something somewhere went terribly wrong is my next favorite. And Inya bodied that design, period. Something we've been sitting on since last merch drop, actually.

I can see your eye. It's open. Also, your mic is like peaking so you can't even hear the beeping. It's like... But also, before we go... Wait, wait, wait. This is me when your mom says that she's not going to let me hit anymore. I don't even know if it's going to hear it.

I can't hear it. It's silent. It's like a flat line.

Before we do media, I'm going to take a tab of LSD. No, that's a tab of Listerine because you've been sitting on a shit bucket for eight days and you haven't brushed your teeth. Oh, my fucking God. Guys, I am 21 days today off the vape. Oh, shit. That's impressive. Damn. That is insane. I almost relapsed two nights ago.

I begged my sister for one. Has it been hard to do? Really? It's been really easy just because my mom, I'm around my family and the reason I quit was for my mother. You want this? You want this?

you want to I know you missed the warm euphoric feeling of opiates like come on I know you missed the warm fuzzy feeling of getting a head rush come on yeah no it there were like moments like where I really wanted to buy one where I was just like should I go buy one but like the only the way I got through it was by saying like saying that out loud where I was just like I want to go buy one I'm gonna go buy one and then everybody being like no don't do it and like

I think like, also I didn't replace it with anything else, which I normally like replaced it with like LaCroix or something, but like, or like Dick. Yeah. Yeah. Or getting hit from the back. Um,

But no, it's been like pretty seamless. It's like a mind over matter thing. I have been picking at my fingers like a lot out of anxiety, but I feel like the nicotine is like about to completely leave my system here in the next like couple of days, like 22 days, apparently it's like when you break a habit and when like all the rest of like the residual like effects, like get out of your body. But yeah, pretty seamless. Yeah.

That's awesome, dude. If you can do it, do it. That's huge. That is so awesome. Like, I'm so shocked by that. But what I will say is I'm just not somebody who stops my friends from doing what they want. So the fact that you're like, I want them. Oh my God, it's raining. Oh my God. It's literally, I would show you, but it shows the outside of their house. I'm sorry. Keep going.

I'm just not somebody who stops my friends from doing things I give them pleasure and I would pleasure you. Yeah, okay. That's actually it. We can replace my vape with... Yeah, with me pleasuring you. Putty Tang. I'll give you something else to suck on. Yeah, but... Except gas doesn't come out, there will be a liquid. Sorry, okay. But yeah, no, it's been awesome. I don't feel any different.

So if you're thinking about quitting, you're not going to feel any different. You're not going to feel better. I quite literally, I'm not joking. I think my lungs are like purging, like the rest of like the glycerin that's been sitting at the bottom of them forever. And like yesterday, my lungs hurt. Like I had been hitting a puff bar all day long. Like it was, it was, it was really interesting, but like today it feels better, but I like can like breathe. That is one thing actually is like, I can like,

get a full breath in without feeling like it's inflamed in my lungs. You know what I feel like is good motivation for that is when we were in Mexico and your vape exploded and all the juice came out. I feel like that smell is ingrained in my pineal gland. Whenever I'm like, oh, I shouldn't be vaping, I'm like, yeah, I really should not. Smell that shit. You think of that smell again. Dude, that was awful. I like

For people who don't know, we all went to Mexico together. Y'all saw the episode. But I was asleep in the car on the way back from filming the podcast episode. And I had my vape in my hand. And I was laying in the backseat. And I guess the warmth of my hand or something overheated or activated or melted the juice inside of the flum float. And it just...

oozed all of the juice out at once like it was all over my hands and arms and legs and like it had stained me for like an hour and a half and we tried washing my hands with water out of the window but we were hitting trash it was it was a nightmare and it was a grape flavored vape and it smelled rancid it just smelled so sweet like nauseously sweet but um

Yeah, we also have another story that we'll tell in the next episode of the flight home. We'll leave out a bunch of key details, but...

I feel like we finally had enough time to process. Yeah, exactly. There's an event that happened that was so traumatizing that we literally did not speak about it to each other until like eight months later. And since then, we hadn't spoken to each other about it for like another year and a half. Like we talked about it for the first time in like a year and a half, three weeks ago, but awful, awful, awful energy. We'll save that for the next one. Yeah, but let's hit media. Yeah.

Wow, I look so gorgeous when I yawn. Turn to Stone by Electric Light Orchestra. I'm Glad by Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band. Perfumed Garden, the Raw Band. And Practice Twice, Sam Precom. Precom? Yeah, Precom in my butt. Okay, mine is Builder by Fortier. I'm so sweaty, I'm so sweaty.

What the fuck is this? You're so annoying. And then he also has one called Violent Nights. Oh my god, I've actually listened to this before. I've literally heard this before. But when I found it, it wasn't on Spotify yet. So I'm just cooler than it is. I like he says, poppin' minis.

It's just a beautiful song. But I added these songs to the emergency intercom playlist on Spotify that I created. But Badman by Glock 40 Spaz, Parent Issues by Russian artist,

Flip That OMG by Ash Trakan. Flip that, flip that, that, that, that, that, that. Intro by NaNoWriMo. Been getting back into NaNoWriMo heavily. Love NaNoWriMo. And we'll do Ice Whore! by Lumi Athena.

I haven't really watched any movies or television since being here. I've really just been like actually working all day, every day. Like it's been like the most busy I've ever fucking been. Drew's been being the boss while I'm out playing. Yeah, I've been carrying. That's what these muscles are all about. Look at how sweaty I get while I film. Like it's actually crazy. Oh my God. It smells like... Fucking good. Oh, whoa.

you went to harvard can you send me that shirt i wore the shirt for our viewer soleil who goes to harvard oh yeah queen can you send that to me um i can send you a picture of my fucking butt spread open with nair slathered all over it yes yes that is that is even better wait

I do have to go. One second. This is a real request. I do really badly want someone to send me their... No, no, no. I'll send my soiled boxers to someone for $5,000.