We Love James Charles
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Welcome to Emergency Intercom. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

Sexy edition. Sexy hot edition. Sexy nighttime. We're horny. We're home. And horny. We're home and horny. I guess, yeah, this is our first episode back home after two episodes of being gone. We were on the moon. That was exciting. On the road again. I can't wait. We went to the moon. Last episode. Go to the moon.

What is that? I think it's a Playboi Carti lyric. Whoa. I saw Playboi Carti in Denver at the Red Rocks. And I saw John Mulaney in Long Beach, the worst place in the world. Yeah, I don't know what to talk about. We kind of don't have really anything planned today. We're just like... Oh, no, I've got shit to talk. I've always got shit to talk. I've got some shit to complain about always. One of my complaints of the day is...

Actually, it's not really a complaint. I am so bad at doing little tasks. Like...

I've talked about this before. Doing your silly little tasks. When we were looking through our notes app and I was talking about how, like, on mine... Also, this is so, like, out of, like... It's, like, not centered at all, this episode. And that's okay. Because that's the beauty of our episodes. Every time we come back, there's a little something. It's a little new. It's something new every time. Like, our background decaying from how human it gets in here. But...

Like, I lightly touched on this and the fact that like in my notes app there are so many, like so many fucking entries. And they're uncompleted. Yeah, and they're always uncompleted. Actually, let's go through today. I think I kind of like killed my tasks for the day. But if you knew what it took out of me emotionally and after you hear this list, you're going to be like, damn, bitch, you need help.

Also, to be fair, I was up really late and then I had to like wake up relatively early compared to how late I went to sleep. Yeah. And had like a long, lengthy, emotional night. Not emotional. It was just like I was very upset over nothing. Are you on your period?

Yeah, my big squirt is coming around. Actually, I have no idea when my period's supposed to happen. Dude, it really is so irregular. Yeah, I have, like, it's, like, kind of irregular, but it is. Like, it's always a month and, like, a week later. It's insane. It's, like, always late. My period has never once been on time. And we're always, like, in sync. Like, you sync to mine. Men have, like, random, like...

once every three months where like, I'm just angry for no reason. Well, no, that's because men need therapists and they all refuse to go. Cause they, cause they, they all can't stand the idea of someone looking at them and being like, I know what could help you. And they're like, no, I know what could help me. And I'm not going to do it. Exactly. And I live by that. And that is my life. No men's idea. My wife. Men's idea of therapy is attempting to understand infinite jest. Like,

Like hearing you and Josh talk about it, I was like, this is awesome because it's just like, it's the most like, yeah. And I love y'all and I think y'all are very intelligent people. But hearing y'all talk about it, I was like, these are things we all just know as a collective. No, I have stated multiple times that

That book is too dense for me. I have tried to read it multiple times. The furthest I've gotten is 60 pages in and I wanted to kill myself from how dense and depressing and dark and just like literally it makes me feel so inferior and stupid trying to understand that stupid fucking book. Exactly. That's y'all's version of therapy because that's what therapy does to you for the first year. It makes you feel very small and insignificant and you look at all your problems and they swallow you but then you have to like

crawl your way back out of them.

Why do I need therapy if I got infinite jest? Because you can't finish infinite jest. That's why you need therapy. Then why would I go to therapy? Because I wouldn't be able to finish therapy either. No, because that's with a human who you like bond an emotional connection to. One day I will go to therapy and you will see what it does to me and you will... Oh, I know. I know the first year of everyone's therapy, it's like hell. It's pure hell. Bitch, I ran from my therapist. You remember, I literally ignored her for like months. I was like, no, stop fucking talking to me. And she'd be like, come on, like

it's okay. Like, I know you're scared. And I'd be like, leave me alone. Her, me and her meeting for the first time. And she was like, I heard you're talking shit. Dude, my therapist is so funny. My therapist will like email me and be like, Hey, Hey, like, I hope you're doing good. If she hasn't heard from me. And, um, obviously it's coming from like a real place. Like me and my therapist have like such a good connection to each other. Like, I think we're two people who like,

actually understand each other like a lot of the things that i believe in she does too so it's like a very symbiotic therapist patient relationship and when i'll read like her emailing me being like i hope you're okay like when's the next time do you want to speak if you do want to speak drew will be like that bitch just needs a check she's like obviously as a joke like yeah but he'll be like she needs a check and um one time randomly she brought it up and she was like i

also, I hope you never read it like me, like, needing, like, an appointment or anything. I genuinely, like, check up on you because I, like, care for you and I want to make sure you're doing good. Because I know when I don't hear from you, it's probably because you're, like, going through, like, a tumultuous time and freaking out. Um,

And yeah, when she was on the phone with me the other day and Josh and Drew heard her voice for the first time. It shocked me. Doesn't she sound beautiful? She sounds like a wonderful person. She literally sounds like... She gives mommy vibes. She sounds like I think the character's name or actual like...

philosopher's name is Truman from Midnight Gospel. The one episode where I was like, this sounds like my therapist. Oh. They literally give me the... I'm like, if you want to know how my therapist sounds, watch that episode of Midnight Gospel. Anyways. But yeah, hearing y'all talk about Infinite's just literally had me cracking up in the laundry room. It is. Because I was like, this is like...

I feel like Josh is the type of person to be able to finish that book, understand it, and, like, want to. Josh is a fucking bookworm. Dude, he's destroying it right now. And he has, like, he has, like, a really good, um, like...

I don't even know what they're called. Like he has a good process on it. Like he's, he's not viewing it as like, I'm reading all these books for like pleasure or like, which is like fine. That's awesome. Like if you do that, but that's like what I do. Josh is like reading it to like reading to like study. Like he's like studying these like writing styles and like how these people like convey their thoughts. And I was like, Oh wow. That's like a really like cool way to like digest a book. Um,

I read books to make me sad. I've never once picked up a book that was happy. I don't read happy books. I read books to fuel my sadness. I'm stuck in that phase right now where I get 70 pages into a book and it legitimately, I just can't finish it. And I really am enjoying the books I'm reading. I do that with TV shows too. I'll get like with fucking, what's it called? Um...

Marvelous and Amazing. I got all the way to season three and then just stopped watching it because I was like, I don't want this to end. And I did that with...

like tiger king which is like a shitty example but like no i've done that with so many shows people are gonna be so pissed at me but literally all of my favorite animes i've never fucking finished yeah i do that i haven't finished fully cooley and someone is gonna be as far as to be like fully cooley is only like 8 or 12 episodes yeah and and and i've re-watched episodes in the beginning like in the front like few four episodes but i don't want to finish it because i'm like i don't

I like that, to me, this thing is a thing that hasn't ended. I do that with books, too. I always read it and I'm like, this is the best book I've ever read in my fucking life and then I didn't finish it. Like, Crying in H Mart was one of the books that more recently I was like, damn, this book is fucking amazing. And I don't know how that ends. Just put it down. Yeah. Well, I think that speaks to who we are as people. Keep going.

What does it say about us, Drew? I don't know. I don't fucking know. That silence was actually sinister. That one freaked me out. You backed away from the mic. You got really far. I don't know. I thought I literally said something mad problematic. I was like, wait, did I fuck up? What did I say? I got really offended. I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? No, it does because listen to my to-do list. I haven't finished it. Maybe I did. I said, pack your...

You didn't get the dry cleaning. Camera for sure. I didn't do that. Yeah, I didn't get my dry cleaning. I heard you asked Dante to get it. I know. I'm going to. I need you to do that for me while I'm gone because I'm scared of them getting rid of it because someone told me last night. Someone was like, you can only have it there for 30 days, which like I would be back before the 30 days. But if you could get it for me, that would be a fucking serve. We'll see. Podcast, which we're doing now. I shot with Orion, which I was supposed to do. Call pharmacy and pick up my thing. I did that.

No, I'm not doing that. Yeah. But yeah, that's my list. And it was, if y'all understood the like,

The weight that was on my chest before I went to sleep and this morning and all day today. It literally that's what made me so exhausted today. It wasn't doing the tasks. It was like your mindset, like me being like, dude, I have so like I literally feel like heavy physically because I'm like, I haven't finished that. And it's like 8 p.m. So like what? What am I going to do? Like I've got places to go. I've got people to see and I've.

I was gonna say something like so sexual for no reason. But I changed my mind. I took it back. Yeah, that was something I wanted to talk about. And the other thing I wanted to talk about is I will always be late. Bitch, you are so annoying. Guy looking up from his phone. It won't come down. It won't go down. I will always be late. And that's just a fact. I will never be early.

And I... Someone might say that's, like, a sign of disrespect, but at least I fucking admit it. No, that is... Dude, oh, my God. When you are late, like, it actually drives me fucking insane. Like, that is something that, like, literally hurts me. But, like, I do a good job at just, like, letting you...

And I don't give a fuck. Because guess what? And if I need to be there, if I need to be there on time, I could be five minutes late. You will always stop. It's like I desperately need to. It's like, Enya, if you are not here on time, you will be pushed back for your appointment or this or that or the third. We'll close the doors. I'm like, I could be five minutes late.

That's what you're saying to me right now. You're saying I have a five-minute leeway. If you just managed your time just a little bit better, your life would be amazing. If I didn't get stuck in the loops I get stuck in, I can't express enough. I get caught in loops in this house. And it's always been a thing for me, but it freaks me out sometimes. If you ever...

Girl, it's not the loops. It's the coffee right before you leave. You got to cook that goddamn coffee and then go. Oh, no. Yeah. That's one of... No, that's not a loop. That's a need. That's what I was saying. It's not the loops. It's the coffee. If I don't have time to get to a coffee before I go somewhere, I'm making a damn coffee. Don't play with me. Like, I'm not... Like, I'm... I'm trying to say... Put that down. But you know that already. But you know that. Like, you know I'm... Put that down. Um...

But yeah, but the loop I get stuck in the most and what makes it hardest to leave the house is I'm convinced Azul got out. So I have to see Azul like four times before I leave. You've given me that anxiety. And then I'm convinced I didn't lock any doors. And then sometimes I'm convinced I put a candle on and like I haven't lit a candle. I'm like, I haven't lit a candle in like two weeks. But I'm like so convinced. So I have to go around the house and look at all my candles. I do that right before the airport. Like when I'm like flying somewhere, like I am like,

I'm, I don't know what it is, but I am so weird about like my doors being opened or closed. Like when I leave my doors, I mean, that's not weird, but like my closet door has to be like closed and like my door, like Azul will be in there. And I'm like, fuck dude. Like I want to close my door so bad, but Azul is in there. So I just like let him leave. And then another thing is at night, like I sleep, I have to sleep with my door cracked. I don't know what it is. I

I have to have my door closed. Do you sleep with socks on? I think I asked that. I don't think you asked it on the podcast, but I think you asked me. I don't sleep with socks on. Which I like, actually, that's a lie. When in the winter here, I fully have to sleep with socks on. Yeah, it's really fucked up. Because my feet get so fucking cold. And every time someone sleeps over, they get really mad at me because my feet will touch them. And then they're like, bitch, what the fuck? And then I get really embarrassed. So I have to put socks on. Wait, who's sleeping over?

I was about to say, like, if it's not me, then who is it? Orion, Elisa, the list goes on. I got itches. Wait, hold on.

Alyssa refuses to sleep in my bed and it offends me every time. No, I know. Josiah refuses to sleep in my bed and it offends the fuck out of me. Like last night I was like, Josiah, just sleep in here, please. Like we'll watch Maisel on my iPad while we go to sleep. And he was like, I'm not watching Maisel on that little fucking iPad. I was like, no, we can. It's a big iPad. That's what I said. I was like, this is the biggest fucking screen ever. This is the biggest iPad.

that you can get then he pointed he pointed to my computer and he was like like it's not as big as that and I was like yeah like let me put my fucking monitor in my bed like what do you fucking mean like just sleep in my bed with me

Like, just sleep with me. You know what it is? Okay, so Elisa listens to every single podcast, so I'm airing her ass out and she's going to be so upset with me because, like, no one needs to know this about someone. But it's not that uncommon. But she was like, no, I get really hot when I sleep in bed with someone and, like, I don't want to, like, sweat in your bed, which I can respect that. But even though I know that, each time I feel a sense of rejection that I just, like, can't get over. But I've quit.

I've convinced myself it's, like, because Alisa's, like, scared of, like, we might fall in love if she sleeps next to me. So, like, I'm gonna, like, leave it at that. But she won't sleep with me. Orion will always sleep with me. Orion will, like... Yeah, she's down. Regardless. Yeah, she, like... She's probably one of the first, like, people who I would, like, sleep with all the time. I guess I used to sleep with you on tour. Yeah. But, yeah. I don't know. I'm, like, why...

Why don't you want to sleep with me? Everyone loves sleeping with me, though. Also, that's another thing. I be hugging bitches in their sleep by accident. By the way, I sleep with socks on because... I asked that question because I saw someone ask that and someone was like, yeah, I sleep with socks on. And literally everyone was like, you are a fucking monster freak bitch. I know some people who can only sleep with socks on. It literally...

I can't sleep without them because my feet feel so fucking naked. But, like... Yeah, the only person I know who has to sleep with socks on is, like, also a man. So maybe it's a man thing.

Another thing is I don't trust people who get hot while they're sleeping. Like, learn to fucking regulate your body temperature. Like, literally learn to figure that out. Because, like, also just people who are, like, oh, it's, like, fucking, like, hot. Like, I feel like we are, like, really, like, acclimated to hot environments now. But then when, like, guests come into our house and, like, dude, it's, like, 82 in here. I'm, like, girl, I'm comforted. I'm comfortable in this 82 degrees. Even though, like, we complain about it. I'm just, like, then leave.

Like, since you don't like it so much, why the fuck are you in here? Since you hate our fucking house and you just call this, like, broke and disgusting. And you fucking hate us. Buy me an AC then. Buy me a fucking air conditioner. Fix our AC. Girl, the only thing we need to do to fix our AC is change that filter that is covered in mold. Or, not mold. You are so... You are so convincing. No, we... This is, like, really gross and, like, shows our, like, immaturity right now, but...

We have never, ever changed our vents in the crib. I looked in there about like two months ago and it was like three inches of like dust and debris, which is literally just like fucking dead skin. Like it's our dead skin particles floating around and we're just like reintroducing it to our environment. And that's probably why I think there's black mold. And that's probably why we're tired all the time is because we're just fucking breathing in our dead skin. I've been like this for my whole life.

And so have you. Yeah. So that's not, that's not that. I'm just trying to explain. I'm trying to figure it out. No, you want, you want our audience to feel bad for you and be like, oh my God, no, oh no, Drew is like dying from black mold. Like that's what you want. One day, one day we will get

I don't know what they're fucking called. A mold expert to come in here and they'll test the levels and y'all will be fucking shocked. And you'll be like, oh my God, they're going to find toxic levels of mold in our house. And I won't move. You don't have to move, but they'll be like, I don't know how y'all have lived in this for so long. It could like come out that like, we've just been in like a complete delusion for the last two years. And like everything we experienced wasn't real. And like, it's all because of the mold poisoning. You...

Need help like psychiatric help. I'm okay. Actually, I'm done with the therapist I'm done saying you need to go to a therapist. You need to go lock me up a psychologist. Lock me up Lock me up. I was gonna say something while you were saying that Oh actually while you were saying that I was literally just waiting for my turn to speak because I was thinking about how awful moving is like

The day I... Okay. Because I was like, oh my God, imagine if Moldexberg did come in here and was like, you can't live here. I would be so fucking livid because to be told you have to move... Like, oh, I've experienced... Now I know, like, of course I knew as a kid when we were getting evicted that that is not good and it sucks. But like, oh my God, being told you cannot live somewhere and don't have a choice and you have to move. And like finding another place. Moving is one of the worst things to do in life. Like...

No, it literally, no, not just to you. Like there are like the three main stressors in life are like moving, like experiencing a death. And there's another one. It's like sex. I think it's like divorce or something. Yeah. Like divorce, fucking death and moving are like the top three, like most stressful things in life.

No, Kai's shaking his fucking head because he knows if that's true or not. Girl, Google it. Those are the three most stressful. Google it. Google it right fucking now. You will be shocked. You're saying that moving is as stressful as death? Yeah. No, I'm not saying as stressful. I said the top three. Let's take this poll. Who in the room has experienced a close death and moving? Both of those things, huh?

You have? Girl, fuck you. Have you actually? Yeah. I don't know shit about... Oh, you are pretty old. You have experienced a lot. Well, I think we have not talked about this enough, but everyone in my life is dying. Someone commented... You mentioned that? You mentioned death in...

I'm questioning my mortality. Like, that's just a part of growing up. And I just love being able to, like, voice that with our audience because I just like letting them know, like, you're not alone in these thoughts. Yes, you are, bitch. You went in an episode, you said you were so alone. Everyone's so fucking alone. And now you try to be like, you're not alone. Well, I have. You look it up? Who looked it up? Oh.

Here, I'll look it up right now. I'll look it up right now. Also, not me sitting here assuming Kai had an experience like death. Like, I guess because most people I know haven't experienced like a close death. Okay, top five most stressful things. Let's go. Actually, no. Everyone in our friend group kind of has. Oh, my God. I literally got it. I got it fucking right. Death of a loved one. Divorce. How excited you were to be right? No. Okay, look.

I'm so fucking right right now and I love it. What is this website? Hospitals. It's literally a hospitals.org. Death of a loved one, divorce, moving, major illness or injury, and job loss. I deserve a round of a fucking applause. No, maybe from Kai. Moving seems like the outlier here. How many times have you moved? Like twice. You don't feel like someone who owns a lot of things that you care about.

No, like, little things. Like, do you have, like, little trinkets that you're like, this, and this means this for me? Um, okay, on this list, they listed retirement as one of the most stressful things. Like, I'm sorry, but I cannot wait for the fucking day to retire. Most people can't retire. That's why it's stressful. It's because retirement is not, like, actually real. Like, my dad isn't, like, clicking his heels. Like, I can't wait till I can't work anymore. He's like, oh, my God, when I can't work anymore...

I'm gonna die. I'm just gonna die after that. Like, after that is death. Sorry, Kai. Not for me. I bet you have a lot of things you care about. Not for me. Material-wise. Material girl! Like your two pairs of shoes. I'm gonna edit that out. I got some cool little sneakers on. Thank you.

- You are in your own world. Me and Kai are fully having a conversation in here. - Yeah, oh wait, I forgot it's the Kai and Enya podcast, not the fucking Drew and Enya podcast. Yeah, I forgot. Yeah, no. - It's not called the- - Actually, no, hold on. Y'all go ahead and have y'all stupid little fucking conversation while I'm over here just looking like a goddamn fool. Go ahead. - Yeah, 'cause you're busy relishing and being right. - No, I was researching. - I'm so sweaty. - They said retirement chronic illness makes sense.

No, actually, that sounds like my goddamn dream. I'm not kidding. That is one of the most fucked up things about me is like, I feel like actually disgusting saying this because this is not chill at all. And I recognize that. And I realize that this is not okay to like want this. And I actually do need psychiatric help in this stem. This is very deep. And it like goes back to like my childhood or something. But I legitimately like want a chronic illness.

I don't because I don't believe that I could ever be chronically ill. No, actually, I am chronically ill. I was about to say you're chronically sick. Like, damn, you sick as hell. I'm chronically ill as fuck. Transitioning to adulthood. Yeah, that is very fucking stressful. Yeah, fucking right. People need to grow the fuck up. That shit pisses me off. Like, oh, coming of age. I'm turning 19 and 20. Girl, shut the hell up. Shut the hell up.

Coming to terms with being an adult. I just don't care. I just realized I'm, like, old. No, you're not, though. Like, I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm, like, one of the lucky ones who I just, like... I've never had, like, a serious, like, moment of sadness and, like...

Moment of being actually upset at aging. I love aging because I've always felt and this sounds big-headed But I've always felt like my age didn't match how I felt mentally So I am excited to finally be coming to a place where I'm like, yes the brain in my head makes sense for this age um

But that's because my life fucking sucked balls and I had to deal with a bunch of shit as a young person. So I didn't ever get to be a kid anyway. I feel like I'm regressing. I feel like my brain is getting younger and my body is getting older.

No, girl, that brain is saying the same. Actually, my brain is expanding. Yeah, you've read 60 pages of Infinite Jest. I'm different. I'm actually different. I'm not like these other bitches. Like I've read Infinite Jest. I will always be late. I'm still thinking about that. Like I just like I will. I will be late and I will move plans around because I will be late.

Everyone who knows me knows that, though. Getting married is stressful? I guess. Marriage is also another thing that I don't fucking get. You bitches are weird. Why the fuck do you... I'm not... I don't ever want to be married. Yeah, I don't believe in legal... I used to be like, girl, what? It's cute. But now I'm like... Hell no. A divorce is not cute and a divorce is inevitable. No, marriage is literally fake and it's like...

A governmental experiment to get us to like pay more money. It's a government experience to get us to pay to be in a relationship. Because don't you have to pay to get married? Oh, weddings are expensive. Well, not just weddings. And getting annulled and shit is like very... Legally minded. I don't think it's expensive, but I think it's like, yeah, you have to pay money to get all the documents done. See, that's in fucking sane. That's actually insane. Here I go, bitch. I'd rather just go to Chuck E. Cheese and get in that booth where they like draw you and sketch and I use a pencil to like sign our names on it. Oh, I want to get in the fucking hurricane ticket booth at Chuck E. Cheese so bad right now. Dude.

That was one of the happiest moments. Did they fight at your Chuck E. Cheese? I always saw parents getting into fist fights at my Chuck E. Cheese. And it was fun. And it was like, this is how humans should be existing. Parents should be getting tipsy and fist fighting. And kids are lost. And kids are crying. And they don't know where to go. And the big mouse is scaring the fuck out of everyone.

everyone they need to let that fucking mouse rest they have put that bitch to fucking use they need to get a goddamn new mascot dude what's crazy is like how fucking terrifying it used to look when we were kids and it was normal for us we were like that looks normal now they've like cartoonified the fuck out of him yeah but he actually looked like a big fucking rat five nights at freddy's um the the chucky cheese

What I was saying is that like ticket booth, I have never experienced that level of joy in my entire life than like standing there and like figuring out like the method to like catching the tickets and like, oh. I don't know if I've ever been in there. I always, I think I thought even as a kid, it was like embarrassing to have my hair blow that much. And I was like, oh. You're literally the most vain person I know. Yeah, period. And I never looked stupid as a kid. Actually, I always looked stupid as a kid, but I thought I was throwing fits and everyone thought I was throwing fits. So.

You were throwing crybaby fits. Actually, I used to... I am a big crybaby. I think everyone who knows me knows that. But as a kid, you were so...

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

Something I discovered today. I didn't finish it, bitch. Okay, well, fucking finish. Damn. Damn. As a kid, I used to cry. And when I cry, I get so much mucus and like boogers. It's really gross. It's like disgusting. Like you've seen it. Like I like can fill up a T-shirt with like mucus. It's really disgusting. But as a kid, I didn't know how to wipe my nose and boogers would just be running down my face and I would start screaming. That cry baby snot tastes good. It does. Salty.

Anyway, my family would look at me and just mock me and be like, boogers, boogers. And I would freak the fuck out. And that's it. I don't even remember what the fuck I was going to say. What did I even start saying? I don't know. Ranch dressing.

That shit is like... Disgusting. No, it's delicious. What the fuck is wrong with you? It's delicious. I like dipping baby carrots in ranch, but I would never ever put ranch on a fucking salad. Go to hell. You're going to fucking hell. Let me finish. Literally, ranch is the...

Best named food of all time. I had that real... Ranch and mustard. Like, ranch. Like, that is perfectly named. No, they call it ranch because it smells like fucking horse poop. That's why they call it ranch. It smells... It smells like balls. So fucking delicious. Blue cheese actually is the most accurate description for what that shit smells like. Yeah. Stinky cheese. Blue cheese. Blue cheese. Blue would smell like that. Blue cheese. Ranch...

Mustard. Mustard is like the perfect word. Also, like every time you say mustard, all I could think about is the guy getting mustard squirted all over him while he's sleeping. Actually, the best video ever. Like that's one of the best videos. That one is right under James Charles dancing at Coachella for me.

No, that one's right under James Charles singing in the canyon for me. No, literally, James Charles, I'm sorry. I've said it once and I'll say it again. What the fuck is wrong with that motherfucker? He has too many S people in his life. He has too many S people. No, he has too many people looking at him and being like, sir, no. He has too many delusions. He needs someone to look at him and be like,

Oh, no. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? We should do that people, those people for him. He would hear this and he'd be like, I can ask the same thing about you. What's wrong with you? And I'm like, girl, I've seen you move that body. Something is wrong. You need clinical help. His joints are fusing. He's chronically ill. Dude, the thing is, I've never seen someone who gets told they can't sing and dance so much. Like, he is.

is the fucking the kid who wouldn't stop believing in himself like he no one has the self confidence that motherfucker has and I'm jealous of that because those are the people that go the furthest in life like the people that like blindly like believe everything they're doing is right like

Are like the best. No, the happiest. Yeah. Like you couldn't tell him he can't dance. Everyone says it and he just keeps on dancing. He feels like, um, dude, I'm just like thinking of him singing like Britney Broski, like posting him singing like fucking three times a day is like the single funniest thing. Like,

oh it's just so good i'm trying to think of like i love that like i feel like a lot of people like a lot of influencers and like just like social media people like in private like all watch those videos like they all cycle through there is there is nothing better to do when there's nothing to watch then throw james up on the tv right now i i

I need to pick me up. Throw that motherfucker on the TV. You know what he can't say? He brings a smile to someone. I was about to say. He's made me very happy. A video of him dancing has gotten my ass up and out of bed once. Like, from the other room. Yes, I sent you that video. I was falling asleep. Like...

And it literally, it like, it shot like adrenaline through my body because I couldn't believe it. I heard your laugh across the, across the house and you like drew that fucking video you just sent. It was insane. It's the one of him like opening his, also, someone pointed out to me the other day, his fashion taste is AI made. Like he,

His taste in general is made by an AI. Dude, we've briefly talked about it, but like, it's just that effect where like, let the bodysuits go. Let them go. James Charles, let them go. Let the bodysuit sweatpant combo go. Let it go. Put jeans on, bitch. Put it down. Me and James Charles have a closet every day. Put that down. Girl, that belt, that goddamn belt.

Okay, this is a James Charles. I'm gonna go with some scissors and fucking cut that long ass bell. Um, yeah, like, but we knew this. We knew I was a hater. You know what? He's laughing from his ugly, expensive house. And I'm laughing from my cute, scenic apartment. And look how beautiful it's serving. Like, look who's laughing. Yeah, it looks good. It looks good right now. Um, also James Charles' house looks like an Ikea, like, escape room. Okay.

It just looks like those ultra-modern houses that are built really cheap but look really nice, and they just did it very quickly and cheaply and just upsold the shit out of it. He got scammed. I can run through his walls. Yeah, no, actually. His walls are thin. When I sneak up to his house at night, I can hear him talking. No, same. Oh, when I play on his big little trampoline, sometimes when I'm jumping, I'm scared the springs will be too loud and it'll wake him up.

And when I'm playing basketball, okay, never mind. Okay, I'll stop. I'll stop. Like, I was about to say, now why the fuck do you have a basketball court at your house? Why do you have that? Like, why? Now you're just bored. Literally, why does he have that? It's because he's trying to beat the algorithm. Like, he's trying to beat the algorithm of real life. This is dark. This is dark.

He's trying to lure the straight men. He's like, you want to come play basketball at my house? Because that's what you would like. Okay, this is a good transition. But I've had this thought and every time I've said it, I've been not shut down, but everyone's like, okay. I'm about to okay you. But based is the new edgy. People were embarrassed to be called edgy, so they just made up a new word and it's based.

Base just will always remind me of Lil B. And I know that's like probably where it stems from. Based God. Being used on the internet. I just don't understand. That was like my first merch was based God bracelets. I was so fucking lame and corny. I don't think that's lame and corny. I think that's cute. I think any like Obama based God. Oh, never mind.

My first merch was my One Direction varsity jacket, which I inquired about. No, no, I made them. Oh, that's cute. I didn't sell them, but it was this Google thing where you could 3D print shit. And a few of my followers back then that are now friends got them.

My first thing I ever really made that was merch of something or a bootleg or anything like that was in seventh grade. My crush, his name was Sebastian.

We're still like friends, but his name is Sebastian and he used to go by like super Seb or some shit. Like it was like something with Superman. He liked the S like the logo for that. And then out of polymer clay, I made him a chain for Valentine's day. That like was the Superman logo. And that was my gift to him. And that was like the first, it was probably like really shitty and like look like crap. Actually, I've always been very artistically inclined, even at the ripe age of 12.

Bitch, fuck you. I just have a bunch of topics, things that like pop into my head that I just- I can't believe how long we- Oh!

I can't believe how long we just talked about James Charles. Also, okay, this is the last thing. This is the last thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. In no other community is it okay to say inspired by and just do the same thing someone else did. That is the weirdest thing to me. This motherfucker would be like, look inspired by so-and-so. You go to so-and-so's page, that wasn't inspired. You just did it. But yeah, that's neither here nor there. That also transitioned to one of my thoughts I had this week.

um i'm really airing myself out here right now um by saying this but tick tock is the first app in my entire life that i have like contemplated like thirst following someone i've never really thirst followed people in my entire life but like when people are like sexy hot on my timeline

I like one, I stalk all of their fucking videos. I go to their page and watch every fucking one of their videos. You know what it is? It's because TikTok is the first time that like even someone who has like an interesting personality like is showing personality and also being hot. Like, does that make sense? Yeah. Like, cause on Instagram there's like hot people and you know they're hot, but you don't really know what they're like. And on TikTok, I think a lot of it is like, you kind of have to show like who you are because you have to like choose the music that you like.

The sounds people choose is very indicative of their personality. So especially if they're using music that you find interesting, you're like, hold on, babe.

Now people are going to go look at who you fucking follow, bitch. I know. I'm going to unfollow everybody. I went through and unfollowed a bunch of people, though. I was like, you're not following me back. Fuck you. I do that all the time. I don't care. If you don't follow me back, I'm not following you. And also, I thought about this today also. A lot of the people that I follow...

I don't like why the fuck am I following you? I met you once and I don't like anything you fucking post like I'm like tired. I'm bored The worst thing anybody I feel like this is like for everyone but like the worst thing to happen is when someone's like let's follow each other in real life and you're not even like getting along like that and they're like let's follow each other I'm like bitch. I don't even like our real life experience right now. Why the fuck am I gonna do this online your online experience? um

Should I just keep reading some of my thoughts? Go ahead. Okay, so... The least intrigued go-ahead of my life.

I could talk about how I'm like a snooper. I like going through people's things when I'm in new houses. Oh, I do that shit too. I like, I'm like, what do you got? I don't do it as much as you. You make it a mission. You get into a new space and you look. It's just like, I just like seeing their life that they have hidden away in their drawers. I like, like, what do you not want me to see? Like, what is it that you don't want me to see? Because I want to see it.

Like, Airbnb is... I'm going to invade your fucking privacy. Now, why are you leaving your personal things out? Because I'm going to look. I'm going to steal. I'm going to steal.

You're going to steal. Oh, I stole something the other day. I love stealing. I'm going to be honest. But I don't steal. I know where to steal from. I steal from people who I'm like, you have way too much money and you're not going to miss it. Yeah, exactly. Like that's when I steal, which is like going to be very not okay. But actually most people who like I want to get in the house and steal some shit from, they're not like... That's your feminine instinct to gather. Yeah, I'm just gathering and like that's all I'm doing. But I was at an event the other day where one, I was being a bitch to like everyone because it was like a bunch of rich people who were looking. Like I just...

Oh, we hit a stain at one of these legs. Yeah. Or one of these events. I, yeah, I just felt like they were looking at me funny. So I was like, fuck all of you. I want to like beat the shit out of all of you. Because like, I think it was very obvious that, I don't know. I think everyone there kind of knew each other. And I was like, who the fuck is this? Like, that's what I felt like to everybody. And why are you not in my drawers yet? Me to the physics teacher on TikTok. Yeah, I know.

What the fuck is this and why are you not in my drawers yet? In my drawers? In my drawers? I stole some Chanel seeing glasses the other day and they're literally my prescription. I didn't tell you I was... No, what the fuck? Where? Okay, to be fair, so the venture started out as me being a good person. I saw it was in like a really nice leather carrying case that said Chanel on it. A really nice one? Really? Really? Keep going. Keep going.

Um, it was in a really nice carrying case and it was leather and I thought it was a wallet. So I saw it on the table and there was a bunch of people around, but no one was at this table. And it didn't seem like anybody who was around was ever at that table. So,

I saw it and I was like, oh shit. So I went and opened it because I was like, oh, I'm going to see if there's an ID in this. And if there is, I'm going to like find the person. Like that's what I'm going to do. Shut up. So I like looked in it and I was like, oh, these are glasses. So then I felt really uncomfortable because I was like, people, it's going to look like I was going to steal this. So I closed it and backed up and like looked around and still nobody was looking and nobody even seemed interested. No, no. So I walked.

away and i was like that was weird and i walked away and then an hour goes by and i come back and i'm progressively more drunk than i was the first time i saw it and i was like no one has claimed this yet and this party is dying down so i put my fucking purse over and i took it and i like walked away oh my god and guess what they're my prescription where are they huh where are they they're right there that's them the carrying cases in my room oh hell yeah damn no you came up i do things like

this and admit it publicly and then I'm like so why aren't events like so why am I not getting invited to events like where's my invite I want to be a part of like the socialites but like listen I'm gonna admit it right now when we stole all that Aesop soap from that one event that was like one of the most exhilarating moments of my life

It's fucking fun. Like we stuff our drawers full. Like you obviously also, you don't care about those glasses. You're not someone who's like, oh God, like I'm bringing these out. This is like a big risk. She probably got in a car wreck on the way home. No, they're reading glasses. They're not like farsighted because they're my prescription, but only like in terms of like closeness. Like I can technically read a book without my glasses on, but it would be better if I had reading glasses. And I don't give a fuck.

You're really fucking right. And they're really nice. They are really nice. I stole a pumpkin from this really nice restaurant that I went to in Colorado. I stole a pumpkin off the table, which isn't the craziest thing. And then I took it to the streets and I slam dunked it into a trash can. And it was awesome. In one of the alleyways. Yeah, you know, we don't steal like things. I don't believe in stealing from like small places or businesses. Yeah.

I don't even steal from like big corporations and stuff. I steal from random people who are at least expecting it. So like the worst kind. Yeah.

Okay, bitch. Now, why the fuck are you bringing your reading glasses to an event? Girl, those are her seeing eye glasses and she's blind right now. Good. Then if you needed them so bad, okay, Velma, why the fuck are you losing them? Where are my glasses? The camera's not recording actually this time. You are so annoying. You are one of the worst people I've ever met. Just get pwned. Keep getting pwned by me. It's like embarrassing. I'm going to smack the fuck out of you. Keep going. It's embarrassing how pwned you get. You said Denver? Yeah. What?

You said Denver. Denver is... I'm sorry if you live there. I love you because you're watching this. But Denver, Colorado is literally one of the most sinister cities I've ever been in my entire life. Like, I cannot stress this enough. It is the most quiet, empty city. Like, I swear to God, I saw 13 people total while I was there. That's why it's one of the first places that had legalized weed because there was nothing else to do. Exactly. Like...

It was genuinely shocking. And I don't even know how to explain it. Like we were there on the weekend and there was like no one there. But then like I went to the Playboy Cardi concert and it felt like the entire city was there. Like it was insane. I was like, where the fuck did you people come from? Like, where did y'all come from? Just like you. They came from out of state. And they were like, I want to be at a concert with the Red Rocks.

I could talk about that. The Playboy Cardi concert was fucking awesome. The Red Rocks was beautiful. I met some people there. Y'all are awesome. And yeah, the airport, when I was walking through it, I was like, oh, I have like a bad vibe here. Like, I feel like I'm being herded like a cattle. Like, this place is fucking weird. The airport? Yeah, I was like, there's weird murals all over the walls. So I did a little digging. Um.

It is, like, the conspiracy capital of, like, America. Like, literally... Yeah, because they have nothing else to do. No, it's weird. It, like... It's weird. I, like, was reading about it on the airplane before I, like, knocked out. And then I had, like, a weird dream about it for, like, the 30 minutes that I fucking slept on the plane. Because, like, for some reason I couldn't fall asleep because the Denver airport is cursed. But that shit is weird. They, like...

You know, you keep saying weird, weird, weird, weird. What's so weird? I said like the murals, there's like this scary fucking horse out front that's like 60 feet tall that has like

red glowing eyes and like okay like what the fuck is that and then i read into it a little more and the fucking artist that was that designed and was building the horse the horse fucking killed him while he was building it um it like a piece fell off and cut an artery in his leg like what and then they still erected it they finished it and erected it oh then what they they

made it have a fucking boner and they put the big boner in front boner um and then there's these like weird cursed murals all over that like predict like the new world and then there's like tunnels underneath it and all this shit i'm not saying i'm like feeding into this conspiracy but like why is it the biggest airport in the world is it fucking denver i think it's like the biggest or second biggest airport i feel like the atlanta airport is one of the biggest

I don't know. I can look it up real quick. But on top of that, it costs $4.8 billion. And I'm like, where did that money go? It's all in the tunnels underneath. And there's a secret society living under there. Also, the Masonic. There's like Masonic. Which one's the biggest? I almost said that.

Is Atlanta like a big one? Yeah, that was probably like... Atlanta is a beautiful fucking airport. Atlanta and Chicago. No, I was going to say, actually, I haven't been in the Atlanta airport for a long time. Oh, wait, no. I'm thinking of Chicago, I think. I don't even remember Chicago airport, but I know Atlanta airport. I just know they have a Chick-fil-A there because I would land there when I was younger and be like... At the airport? Because that motherfucker would always get his connecting flights. Oh, okay.

Literally get some of the worst flights ever. Spirit airplane should be illegal. Why is a spirit airplane from Miami to New York $20? No. Why does it cost so much to spend in Uber? You're having a car and it's $5,000. Wait. Wait a damn minute. That really is an Airbus. By all definitions.

I feel like if I showed my student ID in high school to Spirit Airlines, they'd be like, yeah, just get on. Dude, what the fuck?

And they're also yellow. The airplanes are yellow. Because they don't think that the pilots... It's advertising in the sky. Yeah, the pilots they hire can't see other planes unless they're yellow. They're scared that you won't see it. On the train I saw a Spirit Airlines pilot and he had a gay pride Spirit Airlines thing on his bag. I don't know why that's like... That's why it's so cheap because they have gay people flying airplanes. Gay people can't drive. What makes you think they can fly a fucking airplane?

Is that like... Oh, yeah. I guess that is the whole thing that gay people can't drive. Yeah. Like on the internet. People say that. The curbs. Driving on the curbs. Girl, not being able to drive... We've hit a couple curbs. Huh? We've hit a couple curbs. Oh, I hit the fuck... Dude, my car has been through it. It's crazy that my car has no bumps or scratches on it like that because like it's always... It's the bottom. It's the important part that I be hurting on my car. Like...

I'll like hop off a curb and you just hear like the fucking the bottom of it like boom like really hard. The most annoying thing that I do is when you're parking in like a tight spot I like try to predict you hitting it and I'm always like like so annoying. Bitches think I don't know my car. I know my car shockingly well. I know the dimensions of my car and I have never been in a car accident. Knock on wood and I fucking serve the house down because you know what?

No one's going to hit me. I'm going to fucking hit them. And that's how you have to drive. Why are you not in my drawers yet? You keep saying drawers like fucking kitchen drawer. Draws. Draws. Yeah, it's like draws. If you're going to say it, you have to say it correctly. Come correctly.

But yeah, Spirit Airlines flights are way too cheap. Like, when you use, like, Expedia, it'll be like, the flights this day are $100. And it's like $100 to leave LA to go to Miami. And then, like, all the other flights are $400. And it's like, now what the fuck is going to happen on that one? They save the money with the trays. The trays? The trays?

The size of an iPhone. My iPhone cannot fit on the fucking tray. Like, the trays are literally the size of an iPhone Max. And the seats are made out of cardboard. They don't give you a TV. They're like, you better think. You better think about why you made this decision. Oh,

But I guess on a flight, on a spirit, that's where you're going to finish an infinite dress is on a spirit flight because you have nothing else to lose. No, I'm panicking because I'm going to die in this fucking airplane the entire time. You know what's really fucked up is when I get bad turbulence on a plane, like I don't get scared and I find it so fucking funny when everyone's here. I'm like, you are so, I'm like, you are so funny because you're so scared right now. As if your terror and fear is going to stop this plane from

crashes. The girl... I literally just had this conversation with my friend Cooper. The girl next to me on the flight to Texas was like... I think it was her first time flying and she was freaked the fuck out. She grabbed onto my arm on takeoff and was like...

And it was, no, it was so cute and endearing. And then like, there was like, I sleep on flights normally. And like, there was enough turbulence that like, I like, like popped up and like bumped a little bit. And I was like, oh, this is like some intense, like, um, uh, turbulence. And she was next to me, like praying. She was like,

and i was like god is not stopping this airplane like i'm on it because i feel like most people are gonna but maybe it's because we've been on so many flights but even from a young person like i remember when i was on one of my first flights ever and it was from miami to orlando and those flights you get in like a tiny fucking fighter like plane like you don't get on a real plane for those flights like i was in like i'm not kidding like

I am not exaggerating like a 12 seater plane one time. Like it was like nothing. Like it was like you couldn't even bring a bag onto the plane. For that flight, all you could have was like a book bag or some shit. Like because the plane could not handle that much weight. I couldn't fit on that plane because of like my fat ass. And my wieners like too heavy. It would like weigh it down. Because I have a giant fucking car. And now that I'm taking ashwagandha, it's constantly just engorged. It's gotten bigger.

But yeah, I remember on that flight, there was really bad turbulence again, because we were on a paper plane, like going like a thousand miles an hour and everyone on the plane was freaking out. And 16 year old me or 17 year old me was cracking up. You were so fucking annoying. I was dying laughing out loud because I was like, y'all are so scared of dying right now. And in my head, I was like, I was like, if anyone's scared, it should be me. Y'all are like fucking

8 million years old like y'all lived your fucking life me to like a 20 year old when I was 17 I was like you're fucking a million years old like you're passing soon you're disgusting grow grow down no say your stupid fucking airplane thing well I have two things so I have two things to say so I was sitting on my flight it was really fucking early it was really cold and they were like de-icing the airplane

Which was like beautiful to experience. But like as I was sitting there. I've actually seen that before. The airplane, like when we were taxiing, like you know when you're taxiing, it like shakes a little bit or whatever. Well, I was laying and I was like almost asleep and I was like laying with my arms on the table and my face down like this. Really uncomfortable. I had the whole, it was like one of the two Cedar airplanes and the guy sitting next to me like got to move up because there was an empty row. So I had the whole row to myself. It was really fucking like nice and I like was just like spreading out.

I don't know why I told all those details, but I was just laying there and the airplane shook and like literally like I don't know what the fuck it was. It was like antifreeze or like acid or something. No, yeah, acid. They put fucking acid in the air vent. Something came from the air vent from above me and burnt the fuck out of my fingers and like burnt my hand and it like sprayed me and like I literally have like low-key like

Like a mark on my hand where it was. So you're going to sue American Airlines? Yeah, I wrote down in my notes app. I was just writing down all my thoughts because I've been writing my thoughts down. And I have the airplane spit acid all over my hands. And I have it time stamped because I just wanted as much of a case as possible to build against American Airlines because they burnt the fuck out of my hand. I was like, oh, my finger is going to get gangrene and fall off and I'm going to die. You are so annoying. Anyway, yeah, I just don't believe like...

I'm like, if a plane does crash, like, that'll be so funny. And the amount of attention I will get. That was my next thing. It's worth it to die in that way. That's the next thing I was going to say. Let me rephrase because I'm sure there are people who have lost, like, a loved one to a plane crash. And, like, I'm not saying, like, it's something to be laughing about. But as someone who's been in, like, really, like, gnarly situations on flights where I'm like, oh, my God, this, like, flight has crazy turbulence. Let's just say...

I laugh. I sit back and I laugh because I'm like this. Of course. You know what it is? It's like, of course this would happen to me. Like, of course I would be on the flight that's going to go down. That's what I was going to say next was like another thing like to go along with like me wanting a chronic illness is like I want to die in a plane crash. I don't want to die in a plane crash. I've said it before. Not that I want to die.

but like I have, I've played this out in my head so many times when I was like 16 and like super fucking depressed and like flying a bunch. Like in my brain I was like, Oh, like imagine this airplane crashes and like how many people would like talk about me? Like it's literally, it all boils down to me wanting attention. And then like it didn't click for like four years that I was like, Oh my God, like I would be dead as fucking bones. Like I wouldn't even see like,

I would even fucking see the like reaction of everybody around me. Like, I feel like, I think me and Kai talked about that briefly where we were like, I think that's like natural. It's like, oh, like, like if, sorry, this is going to get dark, but like, oh, if I killed myself, like imagine the look on their faces type shit. Um, if I actually did it. Um, okay girl. No, I was going to say, um, you know what's really funny?

thought that happened. No, I'm good. I promise I'm good. I'm happy. No, I believe you, but I'm like, actually, that's, I think for most people, a lot of people think about that, but they think about it in a way like I wouldn't because that would be awful. Like, to the people around me. I'm sorry. Okay, girl. Like, are you okay? Um, okay, but you know what's a really fucked up thing I think about when I think about a plane going down is I'm like, I have to grab my bag. Because I'm not leaving my laptop on the plane. When they're like, oh,

I'm like, are you fucking crazy? No, I'm grabbing my iPad. I have like three cameras in there and a laptop that has a lot of things on it. All my expensive shit. Like, okay, the clothes can burn. I don't give a shit about the clothes. No, that's actually the worst part is the fact that I couldn't get my checked bag and all of my fucking

fucking vintage pieces would just burn oh people are dying they're dying yeah and so are those pieces because they're historical pieces that weren't replicated many times and they're going to be gone you could probably sue and make a bunch of money like and claim no no no no it's not about the money it's not about what it costs it's about the thing that that is mine i've worn it before and i have an emotional attachment to it and i want it material girl no fully i'm a material girl i don't care and you know what it's because god

stripped me of being a material girl as a child because i had a girl what the were you gonna say after i spoke huh what i'm thinking you were like clawing to say something just now yeah and it's just gone i wasn't i was just adding ad libs i could go on my list though should i buzz over the list

Give us one more thing. Okay. Oh, I have so many good ones, though. I have to pick the best one. You think every thought you have is good. Like, that's the problem. You think every thought you have is, like, gold. Okay. Bread and pickles are the devil in disguise. Should I elaborate? Go ahead. Like, what? Because they're so good. It's so common to be like,

to be like should i elaborate because they're so good yeah because no bitch has ever been like bread is the devil because i just can't stop eating it that's literally me i just did that i love bread it's i could eat bread every meal and pickles like pickles are the only food that have me in the refrigerator fucking crouched down digging my dirty fucking fingers in there and pulling them out and like slurping that i love a good pickle pickles are good you know

She'd burn and die in fucking hell. Sweet pickles. Yeah, nope. Absolutely fucking not. Kai the other day was sitting at the counter...

Oh, I had one of those. I had one of those. And I was like, that looks so good. Because I saw the peppers in there. I was like, oh, that's hot. And I was like, yeah, that's about to be spicy. Like a little hot pickle? It was sweet. You're a freak. Something's wrong with you and you're going to hell. And you put that shit on sandwiches? What is wrong with you? No. No, you might as well put fucking caramel marshmallow spread on your goddamn ham sandwich. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Marshmallows and ham. That shit sounds blessing. Yeah.

That sounds like a Thanksgiving after meal. Oh my God. I love. I'm so excited. Leftovers. We're filming this before Thanksgiving, which is one of my favorite holidays. I love Thanksgiving and I love Christmas. Oh, so you support the genocide. No, I support eating fucking good. And just because your white ass doesn't fucking eat good on Thanksgiving doesn't mean you need to perpetuate your guilt onto me. I have a good time. My family loves each other and we serve. Your family loves each other, but I don't think you're eating good. They're all dying. Yeah.

They're dying on me. No, your parents aren't like whipping it up in the kitchen like my dad is. No, we did have good food. But, you know, I saw a TikTok today. And this is really, I'm going to show my true color here. I saw a TikTok and I was like, damn, like, wait, sometimes like unkindness.

unseasoned turkey like tastes good like sometimes like unseasoned food tastes good i'm sorry like like like unseasoned chicken shredded on top of a bowl of rice with like lime and salt and pepper like that sounds actually so fucking delicious salt and pepper is like seasoning no i'm saying like sorry i meant like lightly lightly seasoned

I said I'm going to show my true colors. And I just don't agree with that. That is fucking disgusting. I know that. Oh my God. I know that. I'm putting myself on the line here on the chopping block. Have you ever as a kid had to like sit there and shred hot chicken? Yeah, and it burns the fuck out of your fingers. It fucking hurts so bad. It's not okay. That was like the worst thing to have to do. That's actually torture. Actually, you know what's real torture is having to peel a fucking plantain. Potato. Oh.

Peel a hot potato and then mash it. Oh, peeling a hot potato. No, I'm saying, no, up green plantain. I would love to record you doing that for me this morning. I've seen you do it before and it like actually like gave me PTSD. It was awful. I hate peeling plantain. They're slimy, right? No, they're like so starchy. They make your fingers feel like fucking that white styrofoam that is in. Estranging. Ooh. Um, cases. Also, I think we're at an hour. Yeah, do you want to do Q&A's a little bit?

yeah give us two questions fuck motherfucker i didn't even get to talk about this i wanted to intro it with this the patreon discord is taking lives we were having dinner with a friend at our house we were eating chipotle which was so fucking good chipotle is bae like for real it actually is bae fee like that's like one of the only foods that like have like a little sweetness into it that i'm like oh i can get down with this but sweet savory food lame as shit but we were having

dinner and literally Drew said that to one of our friends and their face they looked like genuinely concerned and I was like can you like you're so annoying because you started like this because you like the way it sounds because it sounds so serious and then it's like the Patreon discord is taking lives and it may need to be shut down because someone hold on let me get the name I think her name's Carrie Bradshaw who the fuck is Carrie Bradshaw is that material girl no that's sex in the city yeah that's what I meant

Fuck. Oh my god, oh my god, where is it, where is it, where is it? I'm gonna freak out, I'm gonna freak out. Okay, her name is Karis. Karis was driving while using the Discord, and I don't support being on your iPhone. I bet her parents were driving. Yeah, maybe. Liar, you're a fucking liar, girl. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Karis...

ran into a deer and like exploded it. Like I've never seen a more dead animal in my entire life than the photo. It didn't explode, but the way that shit's laying in there, that is dead. If you see anything in your life laying like that, it is not alive anymore. Yeah. But yeah, I just wanted to say that before we get into the Patreon questions, um, that, um,

Karis killed a deer while on the Discord. And you should be fucking ashamed. One time when we were in Big Sur, you weren't there, but I was in the car. If you killed an animal, I'm going to be so sad. If I killed an animal, I'd probably kill myself because to know that I took something's life would freak me out. But a baby deer came up to my window. I could kill something. Okay. Give us the fucking question, Kai. He's freaking out over there.

uh selena says if you would have never had careers in social media what do you think your life would be like slash what would you be doing i'd be dead oh um i'd be probably in new york um trying interning at like a radio station because that's what i like wanted to do hopefully that's where i would be um but i would probably also be dead i would i realistically i would i've said this before i'd be in medical school

So whack. Sorry. Like, a bunch of medical students. I'm like, that is so whack. Yeah, I'd be in medical school right now. You just couldn't pay me to go to a doctor. So I'm like, why do you go to school? Because there's bitches like me who won't see you. I wouldn't have survived. Like, I would have gotten, like, five years, six years in and seen all my friends graduate. And then, like, I still have, like, seven more years of, like, schooling and residency. Like...

Absolutely fucking not. But also, I've just had a taste of a life completely different from what I would have had. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like it would have been, like, fine. That's why I'm like, I would have been alive and I would have just, like, made it work. Because I, like, I'm just that kind of girl. I make it work. I make it work. Keep going, Kai. Grace asked, what's the nicest thing you do for each other? I don't know. Play with each other's private areas. Yeah.

That's like a tough one. I think like just mutually like just support. Like I feel like we're just like good at like knowing when each other's like emotionally off and just like asking like, hey, how are you feeling? Like, are you all right? If you want to like we don't even have to say like if you want to talk, you can talk. I think we're just like we just know we can do it intuitive and just like.

I feel like we're very supportive of each other emotionally. Yeah, and we're super in tune and can understand each other. But I guess I don't get the question because I'm like, is it nice things we do? Because I guess that isn't... But that's also just, I feel like, just a normal thing you do as a friendship. Yeah, we do. I was going to say take each other to the airport and pick each other up without question. I'm not doing that tomorrow, though. Oh, okay.

I'm busy. Girl, you are never busy. I got things to do. Yeah, because I feel like that's something nice that most friends do not want to fucking do. I'm sorry. For most of my friends, I don't do that. Drew's the only exception in which I take them to the airport and back and forth. And I love my homies. I've taken Orion to and from the airport before, and she's done that before me. But it's like...

I guess it's also easier because we live with each other. I'm curious if that'll be a thing when we don't. But just doing something like that, which is so fucking annoying to do. Not annoying to do, but it's just like... LAX is fucking awful. Yeah, it's just like, it's not fun. It's far. It's dumb. But stuff like that.

i feel like we do like little tasks for each other without like like like when you were like i want the house to be cleaned and i just like cleaned the house because i was like drew wants yeah that is something that like i feel like is so important it's like when one of us is gone like just like coming home to a clean house like is like one of the best feelings in the world and like literally just like yeah i don't know i just love like

doing little things like that plenty of nice things i got you dinner last night when you were sleeping without asking oh yeah that was stuff like that like we do plenty of nice things for each other we're just like awesome people like and at our core we're just like really good and like the chances of meeting someone like us is like really low so don't hold up it's like try stop trying to stop meeting people honestly like it's really like just like you're not gonna find us

Is that it? Yeah, one more. One more. Shinky asks, what was the best year of your life and why? I don't think I've had that yet. I think... 2021 was pretty close so far. 2020 and 2021 have been, like, pretty good for me. Like, despite, like, little bumps. And, like, actually, I had major bumps in both years. But, like, I'm just, like...

At the end of the day, I don't feel like I have, like, much to complain about. Yeah. Although I love complaining. But, like, I've had anything that's, like, fucking gonna, like, break a hole in my skull. So, for me personally. And then maybe, like, 2017, just because I, like, definitely sugarcoat it. But, like, I feel like anytime someone turns, like...

and has a new independence, especially the kind of independence we got to experience as like fresh out of high school people. Like that was just like fucking, that was everything. And then 2018 was probably the worst year of my life and I fucking hated it with all my heart and 2019. I was going to say, I think like 2017 was like one of my favorite years, but like even, even like 2020 and 2021, even though like those were like the worst years of my life, I feel like

I grew a lot as a person. So, like, now that I'm able to, like, look back on, like, 2020 and, like, with, like, the mindset that I have now, I'm like, damn, that was so shitty. But, like, you, like, survived. And, like, you're, I feel like a better person now from that. I was like, that's, like, kind of, like, a good thing. Yeah, I guess even 2017, like, I feel like that was a really big, like, emotionally, like, 2016, 2017 were, like, really big, like,

personal growth years for me and then so was 2020 2021 we're like very big like this is who I am this is how I feel dude yeah that's like that's really like interesting like just like like the years that like like I forgot who I was talking to about this but like oh it was with Tag and Hunter I was like

I was like when like looking back at times when I felt like literally my life was ending like the most stressful moments of my life the saddest moments of my life like I genuinely cannot recall like what I was like even like thinking about or what was even stressing me out but like

with like that stress came like growth as a person so like I don't know I don't know what I'm trying to say I think it's like like it's like that age-old thing like you can't be happy without being sad like you wouldn't know what sadness felt like so I feel like yeah it's like kind of important to like go through like really fucked up shitty things and like come out on the other side and just have like a new outlook on life yeah I don't know that I've had a year of like wins so like that I'm just like dude

That I'm like, oh my God, I hope this doesn't get bad. Like, because it's so good that there's bound to be something bad to happen to me. I really haven't had that. But like, I think 2020 for me was probably one of my favorite years because I was just like, had a lot of growth. Yeah. And then I was just having fun. I was like taking a lot of my time to be like, I just want to find reasons to enjoy life and like ignore stress and responsibility. Even though that kind of bit me in the ass. But look at us now. We have a podcast.

And we love each other. And we get to talk about our favorite media of the week every week. Which is sometimes hard when we stack episodes because I'm like, I have been listening to the same thing. But I finally broke out of my curse. I was listening to the same thing for a long time. But do you want to hear mine? Or like, what are you fucking doing? I could just feel an energy. I could feel eyes on me.

So here's some of my music. Oh, wait. Do you want to go first, Drew? You can. What, motherfucker? What is so funny? I just looked up and stared directly into my eye.

I could feel it. So, oh, wait. Now I'm, like, I'm having a thing where I'm, like, you go. Because now I have too much. I, like, I'm always, like, I'm about to give, like, a bunch of things. Give it to Patreon. Yeah, I'll give, like, the, because there's, I literally, I'm such a cunt. I went to one of the artists and I, like, was, like, how many monthly listeners do that? Oh, my God. But the song I was going to shout out was their most listened to, but it's still, like, in comparison to, like,

The drakes of the world, like, they're nothing. They're just like a drop in the... A drop in the ocean. I don't know this song that we're singing. I was... And now you and me wouldn't know together. Do you know that song? It's like... Wishing for rain in the heat of the desert. I don't... I can't think of the name of it. Okay. So...

Rediscovered this song in Denver. Shut up. I was in a restaurant and actually oh, that's so weird I was in a restaurant and I like dude it was like a it was like a kind of nice restaurant and I was just being an asshole cuz there's a speaker above me but my phone wasn't picking up the song cuz I was like what fucking song is this so I like stood up and like held my phone to the speaker and a Girl came up and was like are you like do you want the song and then I was like I turned and looked at her and I was again she was like oh my fucking god wait like

like i was just listening to emergency intercom and i just yeah but she gave me the song title it's give it away by zero seven um i love that song right now um kai put me onto a song called counting atomic by ryan lott um i don't know what style of music that is where it's just like super like like i think it's like experimental like orchestra like just like songs that like

are so like epic and build um and just like get like um like super emotionally charged almost yeah like that that one song that i played in the first time we were in that park in joshua tree like that the yeah like that style of music i don't know what it is i fucking love it um

and then josiah showed me i haven't listened to the new adele album yet but strangers by nature by adele is like really really cool she's one of those artists i haven't really listened to i'm trying right now i'm in a phase where i'm like artists that i like like and i know i like and maybe there's an album by them i like i'm trying to like go back and listen to like a full album all the way through and be like there has to be some shit she did this really cool thing with spotify um

where she was like, Spotify, please fucking take the shuffle feature off of my album on Spotify. And they listened and they took it off and you can't. That's awesome. I, I remember. Which makes so much sense. Like if you think about it. Yeah. Cause like the artists put them in that order for a reason, but I'm also like, girl, fuck you. Um, girl, fuck you. I like three songs off this album. Like, I'm sorry. Um, so, oh my God, I get it. Um, I like, I'm like, I'm like, do I share some of this? Oh, well, oh,

Oh, they're going to get it. They're going to get it. They're going to know. Yeah, let's just share it. So...

One of them is Girls, Girls, Girls by Jay-Z. And I feel like if you know that song, you like, I almost posted on my story, but I got insecure because I was like, someone's going to be like, this song is like fucked up because like he says some shit on there. It is gnarly. Yeah. He says some shit on there that's like, you shouldn't say that, but it's such a good song. It is such a good song and never changed from that album. It's like such a good song. Also like both of those are really good songs. I did. I did something funny. I like had a song in my playlist, like one of my main playlists that I like,

was gnarly and I like I said I don't listen to lyrics like I never listen to lyrics and I didn't realize until like two weeks after I had like posted the playlist I was like oh my god like this song is like really gnarly so I took it off the playlist I don't remember what it was I could figure it out though

I think I've already said this song, but Sweet Taste of Love by Zayn has been like in... Wait, Zayn Malik? No. I don't even know if that's how you say it. Someone's probably going to like beat my ass for saying it. It's like, um, it's like the song's like, sweet taste of... Oh, yeah, that's Zayn. Is that how you say it? No, Zayn Malik. Yeah. Um, and then Do You Know Where You're Going? I think that's the name. Oh, Do You Know Where You're Coming From? Oops, by MB and Jamiroquai.

I think that's it. That's all I'm going to give. That's all I want to give to you guys because I don't really fuck with you. I'm still listening to the album Blind by the Sundays. That's it. Ooh, one more. In My Room by the Langley School Music Project. Is it that group of kids who sing songs? That covered all those cool songs. That one is...

It's a cover of Frank Ocean. I don't think it is. No, it's like really old. It's an acapella Frank Ocean cover by children choir.

That would actually sound awesome, I bet. I need to say this because it actually, he doesn't realize how much this like affected me like in a positive way. But I was like, I got him a glass of water and I was like, do you want some B12 in this glass of water? And he was like, sure. And he like looked over at me and like, I saw like a little sparkle in his eye and I was like, oh, what's happening? And he was like, Drew, you look like, I don't know exactly, remember exactly what he said, but

He's like, Drew, you look really good right now. And I was like, oh, like, thank you. And I just like, if he was good to be complimented. Kai has never said that to me. Kai's never once looked at me and been like, you look really good right now. It's different. We're like boys. Like we're bros. We're two straight men. Like I am straight. I shouldn't have laughed. Sorry. Yeah. Why'd you laugh at his sexuality? I don't know how many times I had to say it. Like I'm straight. No, you're serving straight for real. Always and forever.

That's it. That's it for this fucking episode. Oh my God. All right. Bye guys. I hit one.