Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome to this episode. I was trying to think of something funny to say. I was going to say like Instagram. Oh, whoa.
Damn, girl, you're on a good one today. You're immediately on a roll. Um, welcome to this episode of Instagram. Of Instagram.com. Of two bitches who clock into Instagram.com for a living. I literally don't. And it's my job. It's my job and I don't. I have to wake up early for Instagram posting tomorrow. Yeah, damn. I have to go to bed and wake up at noon to post on Instagram. I have to go to bed and wake up at 4pm so that it's 7pm Eastern time in my post as well. I have to be ready. Mm-hmm.
um welcome to this episode uh drew just got back from a very exciting yes i went back to texas for a few days um because my sister had a beautiful baby oh my god it's so scary it's very surreal like i'm already an uncle before that but for some reason this just felt like a little different i don't know i think i'm just like old enough to understand like the levity of this situation and like
Also, I'm at that age where like my body is starting to be like, yeah, we need to figure out how we're going to reproduce and spread our seed and continue the gene pool. Also, it's your twin sister. So it's fucking crazy. It's like a part of you is having a baby. Something I learned about babies after meeting...
Is that they like have to be swaddled. I didn't know why they had to be swaddled, but it's because they're so used to having their hands in their face that now that they're born, they just like scratch the fuck out of their face. So their hands like automatically go up into their face like this because in the womb, their hands were up there like that. Don't.
the entire time. Um, so that's a little fact for you. Yes. And my niece has jaundice. Look, she did it again. And it just started dying. My sister FaceTimed her and was like showing her because she wanted to get like seeing his reaction. Cause we FaceTimed like everybody important to them. And then it was on the list. And, um,
Okay, first of all, I cried. Like, it was so... Like, I literally... Like, it made me so happy that I cried. But then I was like...
Damn! Okay, because also when Drew told me that they had the baby, my first question was like, does she have hair? Yeah, is she bald? Because Inu was like... I was like, oh, they want to FaceTime you to get your reactions. And Inu was like, I need to know if she's bald because if she is, I'm going to make fun of her. Like, immediately. Like, she's going to get got because if she doesn't have hair, that's embarrassing. Also, I was just like... She has hair. She...
She was born with hair, which is a slay on her part. She's already slaying. She's so skinny too. Like, fur. But she... She's literally the skinniest baby I've ever met. She was like... Madeline was showing me the baby and I was like, aw. I was like...
she's low-key tan as fuck like why like on camera she didn't look yellow she literally she literally looked like she just came from fucking cabo yeah back from cabo on her vacation i was like well no i i spray tanned her because like i wasn't gonna have i thought she went to like the keys and got a little tan no no i just dipped her in like a tank of like a five gallon bucket by like the head you know how they baptize babies yeah into turmeric and um self-tanner
kai has a timer now oh kind of like cool i've been waiting all week to show you god this is actually awesome oh your phone's not working oh look at that photo but i was like oh my god your baby is low-key tan as fuck and has hair like
You had a Latin baby. I was like, you literally had a Latin baby. And she told me that. No, she has jaundice and Inya just laughed out loud. But in her defense, like, I've only ever made jokes about jaundice. Yeah, I didn't know that jaundice...
on my like dumb part of my brain I was just like I don't think also jaundice is a funny word like I have jaundice I have big chungus disease oh I was waiting all episode to drop the big chungus it's been five minutes I've got big chungus ew I hate that um but I
laughed really fucking hard and then as we kept talking she didn't make any comment on me laughing that hard and I didn't hear Drew laugh at it so I was like okay and as the conversation went off she was like yeah we're going back to the doctor tomorrow to like check on her jaundice and I was like oh they were being real like she really has jaundice yeah she does but like it's every baby not every baby but a lot of babies are born with it and it's not something to worry about at all so like
my sister made a healthy baby
baby baby and she's really fucking cute normally infants like we've seen the photos of me as an infant like normally infants i'm sorry it could be it could be in his baby and i'd call it ugly to its face like normally infants are ugly as fuck no she's a really cute infant she actually looks like a doll it's really scary porcelain baby it's because she's got those little chubby cheeks i know she's got chubby cheeks and arms she's really cute but yeah it was scaring the fuck out of me because also that's the first person i know who has a baby where it's like i'm like
close to them like we know we have friends who like have babies um and i know people who have kids but this is the first person that like i've like stayed in basically kind of full contact you've never as long as you've never been yeah as long as i've known you and also like
she's the only friend who I've like met her whole family because I met your family. So like literally it feels like a cousin or like somebody I really know. It literally feels like I have a niece. Exactly. Like I genuinely like, Oh my God, I have a niece. And I'm like, Oh, I need to go see my niece. Like we're going to get it going. We're going to try to go back to see her. Um,
Pretty soon once the dust settles of being a new parent. But like Madeline is like Madeline and Steve. I've never seen like someone switch so quickly like that, like everything changed, but like not even like only like the parts that needed to change, change, but they're still themselves, which I like. I don't know what I expected, but I thought them to thought.
people just like became parents and like that was it but like they're hella fucking normal and like they're such good parents it was like really freaky to watch them like parent because I was like dude like
This is crazy. Like, y'all have, like, a child now that you have to take care of. And y'all are doing it. And also, I'm pretty sure Madeline... Like, she said this her whole life. But she was, like, destined to be mother. Like, she's mother to a lot of these bitches already. Like, she had to have her own. So... That is so crazy. That is literally just so... I feel like we talked about pregnancy in the last episode, too. It still just freaks me out. Like, I...
give so much props to people our age who are at the mindset already where they are ready to have child because that like i'm not kidding that is like a death sentence yeah but it shouldn't be because i like i when i really think about it what is having a child yes it's
an extreme responsibility that you will have for the rest of your life. But not that it's comparable to having a pet, but that's the only comparison I have is having... No, Drew, it's not. It is, bro. But it's like having to care for this thing and it doesn't mean you get to stop having a life. Granted, I could leave Azul at home for two days straight. You could leave the kid at home for two days. Wait, they upgrade
They updated them like that? Oh, that's something I looked up because I was like, dude, why the fuck you would think like a baby waking up every two hours? Like we would evolve past that. Like even when we were out in the jungle, just like being fucking apes, like running around having babies, like you would think babies would sleep through the night because like a screaming child would like alert predators or like make your mother like super fucking tired and like whatever, make the village tired. I don't know. But I looked it up and there's like an evolutionary advantage to like
Kind of, I think it's, I forgot what it was exactly. I read it off to Steve last night, but it's like, hold on, let me look it up before I butcher it. Evolutionary advantage to babies waking up three times a night.
It's supposed to, like, ensure greater chance for survival and passing on genes because you're taking more care of the baby. Like, waking up in the middle of the night, making sure it's okay, making sure it's not suffocating. Which, like, seems... No one, like, ever really got to the bottom of it, but there's a word, amenorrhea. Me grabbing your phone like I'm going to be able to read it.
That kind of makes sense because I guess also maybe for the psychology of the baby to recognize who its caretakers are. Maybe that's like an important establishment within like them being the most obnoxious thing in the planet and bothering you that much. But then that makes me think because you know how some parents are like, we just let our kid cry. We don't touch it. We let it cry. And we haven't had a problem with it. I wonder if those kids grow up to be like a little more disconnected.
It grew up to be us. No, actually, contrary to the way I am now, I was a very quiet baby. Yeah. My parents are always talking about it. I was like not, which is shocking because I, but maybe that's why I cried so much in my later adult life and I cry so much now. Because you all have, we all have this, we're born with the same amount of tears, you know. You either cry them as a baby or you cry them as an adult. Whoa.
That was good. That was one of the really good ones. If you said that in 2015, you would win a Nobel Peace Prize. I would have 100,000 notes on Tumblr, babes. 100,000 notes. But I didn't cry as a baby at all, basically. And I was very silent. But then once I was like...
able to speak I was a fucking crybaby and my nickname was boogers because I have always had a very runny sinus when I cry and all like one of the words I did know was boogers and I would get so annoyed and freaked out by my own boogers and I would just start selling yeah I'd be like boogers
And I would just be screaming until somebody cleaned me. Nasty woman. Oh my god. You're low-key a nasty woman. I'm a nasty woman. With a president who looks like he bathes in Cheeto dust. Dust. Yup. Well, sometimes when I fart when I'm laying down, I get scared that the fart's gonna travel upwards and give me a yeast infection. Well, it does.
That's not possible. I think about that too. I think about that whenever I fart. I'm not even joking. I'm like, if I was a woman, I would worry about it going into my pussy.
Don't ever say the P word again. I won't talk. That was disgusting. I was like waiting for this. Why are you thinking about that? I just, I just think about it. Do I sound different? I feel like I haven't heard myself talk in a long time. And I, I feel like I sound different. No, you sound the exact same. Okay. Just making sure. Actually, you know what? Maybe not because yesterday you were kind of scaring me. Cause I was like looking at you and listening to you. I was like, dude, Drew is like fully a man now. And I was like,
I was like, oh, also, you have pink eye, babe. Do I really? Your left eye is mad pink. Is it really? I can't see it. On the right side. This one? Yeah. You fucking doodoo eyes. Did you go to the doctor recently? No. Have you got a colonoscopy? No. No. No. No.
I'm not rubbing shit into my eyes so I get sick. I'm not doing that. Wait, you would do that on purpose? No, I said I'm not doing that. I don't wipe with my finger and just rub my eyes. But no one would ever assume you would just like on purpose put doo-doo in your eyes. I know, that's what I'm saying. I'm not doing that.
I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.
Why are you laughing? Because it's... Talking about putting poop in your face. It's funny. I'm not doing that. Well, you said that when you were a kid, you weren't a crybaby.
I may have talked about this. No, never mind. I'm not talking about that. Let's move on. Okay. Well, one time I cried in fifth grade after a teacher yelled at me. And then she screamed at me so crazy because she was like, you're always fucking crying and yelled at me even more. And then I never cried in school again because I was so embarrassed. I think we should encourage crying. But I think boys shouldn't cry.
Because boys don't cry. Yeah. Yeah. I've never cried. I feel like I would cry if I had pink eye. Oh my God. So you should cry. I don't have fucking pink eye. I need to look at it now. You were, he was in the bathroom for like 20 minutes. My eye is literally not even red at all. I have like a little dot right here. Look over there. Yeah. You're a cop.
Oh, that is like kind of crazy. That's not pink eye, but that's crazy. No, you have pink eye. I just smoked a blunt in the bathroom. I'd be so happy if you did that. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah, right.
Well, now my eyes itch. They actually itch now. I think I just have a hair in there. Because when I blink, it feels like there's something in there. Well, I was with Orion getting coffee and there was gnats literally. No, you weren't. And there weren't gnats. Ow!
You like my new Dr. Scholl socks? Oh, that's... Sorry, you finish your story. I was just going to say, there were literally gnats following around, and we were crying out because I was like, damn, bitch, you fucking stink. Like, they were just on her forever, but I think it was like one pair of gnats started mating on her shoulder, and then they literally were just following her. But we had to move like five tables down. She has eggs under her skin now. Each time we sat down, there was just a swarm of gnats behind her.
And I like couldn't talk to her because we were having really serious conversations. I was like, I can't keep talking to you right now. We have to like go somewhere else. Um, and then one of them got my eye. We were talking about motherhood. Oh,
And it was scary. Scary conversations. Scary things were had. Scary conversations were had. But yeah, tell your fucking stupid story. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had to fly to Texas. I was going to be in and out. And I packed my suitcase really light because I already had a bunch of shit in LA that I had to go get. I mean, in Texas that I had to bring back because I just didn't have enough room in my suitcase last time.
So I packed the light and I was like, okay, cool. Like I'm only going to pack a couple outfits. I'm only going to be here a couple of days, whatever. Well, the morning of my flight, I decide that I want to bring my Uggs because like Alaska just happened and everything free froze over. And there was like two inches of ice. And I was like, it's going to be freezing for two days. So like, I'm going to bring my Uggs. So I took my shoes off and put them in my backpack and put my Uggs on. And for some reason, I,
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's back up. Let's back up. So then I get in my Uber to the airport and I'm just like chilling. I'm in a good mood. Like me and the Uber are talking about a lot of random shit. It's nice. One thing about you is you're going to talk to the fucking Uber.
Yeah. Like, that is so crazy. I'll talk to them if they talk to me. I'm not gonna, like... I'm not gonna start the conversation, but I would like to interview this person and know what's going on in their life. Because, like, most Ubers are very, very open because they sit in silence all day because of people, like...
You don't indulge in conversation. I'm a girl and I don't want to talk to a random man whose car I'm in because what if he falls in love with me and then stabs me when I deny him? Yeah. Yeah. Fair. Honestly, fair. But I get all the way to the airport and I get out of the car and I realize...
Oh, wait, let me back up a little more. So everybody in my life tells me I'm a fucking monster for getting to the airport two hours early and like getting there way, way earlier than I should. Because you are a monster. And this...
This day, my flight was like super, super early. And I was like, oh, like, I'm going to try getting there like 30 minutes before my flight boards like everyone does. Because like if everyone can do it, I can do it. Some exposure therapy, like I'll be fine. I'll make it.
so i get all the way to the airport my flight boards in 30 minutes and i'm like oh i like did it i did it i'm like making good time the tsa line was really short and right when i stepped out of the uber i realized i left my suitcase at home and the only i had was a pair of shoes in my backpack
and the clothes on my body so and then i freaked out and i was like oh my god like i'm gonna have to like uber all the way home and get my bag and i was like no i can't because my flight board's in 30 minutes so i called in you and i was like yo i might need you to uber my oh my god there is like literally shit in my eye like what is going on yeah there's dude i know there's like literally shit flakes away right um
But I like calling you freaking out. I was like, you might have to Uber my bag. And I was like, but I'm going to go to the counter and see if they can put me on the later flight just in case. Cause they asked me if I wanted to for $300. And I was like, I'll do it for free. Like literally just let me get onto the next flight. So I went to the gate agent and they were so fucking mean to me. And I like even prefaced it. I was like, this is really embarrassing. And I can't believe I'm asking this, but is there a way I can be put on the next flight? And she just looks at me and she was like, sir, we don't do that here. And I was like,
what do you fucking mean? And she was like, so you're not going to be on your, or so you're not going to be in your seat on your flight. And I was like, I didn't say that. I was just asking if I could be put on the next flight. And I was like, you know, out of spite, like,
literally the only reason i made it there on that day was because of that gate agent because i was like actually i'm taking my seat bitch like i don't give a fuck if you had 13 people online i'm taking that seat and i'm gonna be on this flight you can't talk to me like that no ma'am not today that's like when i lost my bag and the lady was trying to convince me that i didn't lose my bag that i like didn't have a bag and she was like i think i think i told that story she was like fully talking in spanish talking and shit talking shit about me and i was like i
Bitch, I hear you. Like... That is one thing that I... I wish I knew another language that a lot of people spoke other than English because hearing the shit people were talking about me is, like, something I wish I had. Because I know people are talking shit about me all the time in Spanish. But maybe, like...
It's better to not know because it's like when we were in Japan and we were with friends who did speak Japanese. Oh, yeah. And we were like, unbeknownst to us. Ignorance is bliss. Like, people were looking at us and like, yeah. They saw our tattoos and they were like, they need to get off this mountain. They need to get the fuck away from here. Jobless, jobless. Jobless Americans. They are not wrong, though. Yeah, exactly. So I made it to...
Texas and didn't have any clothes, so I had to go to Walmart that night. And I got a bunch of underwear, socks, and t-shirts in a pair of jeans and a bunch of candy. And I made candy-coated grapes, but I just dipped grapes in Jolly Ranchers and they were fucking deloacious. Do they cook, though, when they get dipped in there? No, because I froze them.
And then I let them thaw out. And then I came home and crunched into them. It was so yummy. I just don't know if I could get by that. I was watching somebody eating like a big thing of it. And it was like nerds covered strawberries. And I was like, God is so upset right now. God is looking down and being like, bitch, I gave you sweets. What are you doing to them?
Why are you putting chemicals on them? Why are you putting red 40 and like blue 30 onto the fucking strawberries I gave you? I think no one's talking about actually genuinely how healthy red 40 is for you because I've survived off of it for like literally 22 years. I don't know if that makes you healthy. You've also avoided all of your doctor's calls. And that means I'm healthy because I'm not dead yet. Because if it was unhealthy, I would be dead.
I don't know. I think I consumed the most Red 40. Like, I actually, I would place myself in the top 1% of Red 40 consumers in this world. I don't know. I think any high schooler beats you. Oh, but I was already in high school and I already did that. I already went through it. Okay, yeah, true, true. Maybe you would make, I think you would 100% make top 1% of Red 40.
24 year olds who eat like that. Cause most people who are like our age are like hitting the wall where they're like, I can't keep eating like that. Like I can't. I just have a good metabolism. You just like also don't buy groceries. So you have to do that. Like you were like forced to stay in the US.
Like, you force yourself into a corner where you have to, like, eat gas station food to survive. And I'm getting the nutrients I need from Takis and Hachis. I wonder if somebody did, like, a test on your cholesterol and stuff. Like, where would you stand? Oh, I'm good. I had that done recently. I'm literally good. How?
The only thing wrong with me is my heart and I think it's the puff bar and that's it. But I'm like healthy. You don't eat vegetables though. I eat vegetables. Quit trying to spread that lie. I eat vegetables. You do not eat. I literally do. I eat vegetables. You eat buffalo cauliflower. Yup. Vegetables. And then sometimes you have broccoli. Yup. Yup.
But you do not- Flour is a vegetable, babe. All the chips I eat is literally corn. Let's talk about it. You don't get to say you eat vegetables because you eat like hot sauce covered cauliflower. I think I do. I don't think- I think I do. And also you do that once a week. You're so off of that now. You haven't been having that. So like I don't remember the last time I saw you eat vegetables. And then the vegetables that come with your veggie grill sit in your platter and go in the garbage.
Side-eye. Side-eye! I'm side-eyeing you! Woo! Side-eye is the new, like, the tea frog emoji. Like, when people would just, like, comment the frog emoji, that's side-eye is the new that. Wow.
Wait, what were we talking about before we got into the vegetables? You not eating vegetables, going to the doctor, Red 40. I lost it. I had something really good. I had something really good to talk about. I feel like if it was that good, it would have just like... It would have came back to me. It really would have. We'll move on. Let me go open the notes app to see what I've got to talk about. Oh, we'll talk about one time in high school.
When I was in my drug addict phase, really, really in deep, really bad, really naughty, never do anything I did, never do anything I do. But nobody knows what you did. So, yeah, I mean, I've been pretty open. Yeah, but.
It was when I was working at the gas station. One thing about this podcast is I'm going to mention growing up poor, you're going to mention having a drug abuse era. Exactly, exactly. But I went to, or I had a shift at the gas station and it was, you know how I was showing you how you had to like connect the soda juice? It was one of those shifts. So I was fucking pissed. Like when you have to like carry the big ass soda bottle
bags that are in the cardboard boxes that are like 80 pounds and put them on the shelf and then connect it. My hands would be like cut and I was so bad at opening boxes. Did you ever stain your hands with like the- Yeah, the Red 40. The Big Red would always get on my head. I fucking hated Big Red and that was literally what the TikTok was, was the Red 40. Whatever.
But I was on shift and I was fucking pissed and I was like, damn, I need to like get home and I want to like get fucked up. So I texted one of my friends and I was like, how do I buy lean? I want lean so bad because I'd had it before and it was fucking lit. And I was like, oh, I want it again. So I hit up one of my friends and I got connected to a guy who's
who still to this day he he's like one of the only people from my hometown that follows my like side instagram um because i like blocked everybody else off because i was like fuck you guys but he still follows it um and like we were really close when we were younger because it was a small town and then like there's got to be a designated drug dealer in every town in every age group like that's just like a thing and he just happened to become the drug dealer
And so I hit him up. I got his number. I hit him up and I was like, yo, like, uh, also he was really close friends with this kid that I went to school with that had like a disorder where he would get blisters all over his feet. Why are you laughing? Like only on your feet? Yeah. He would get blisters on his hands and feet so he couldn't walk. So he had to like sit down all the time.
but he was a shithead yeah exactly exactly he was a shithead though so it's like okay um but they were really close friends and you that's gonna be you when you have your bed sores yeah yeah because i literally just laid in bed today when we were getting up for the podcast i was like oh i'm getting to like stand up and move around like i've been in bed since 5 a.m um but
What was I saying? Oh, so I like texted him and was like, yo, like, can I buy like, I forget how much it was. It was like four ounces of lean or something. And I was like, I want it in the baby bottle. Cause like, that was like a thing is like getting lean in a baby bottle. And so like my entire shift, I was so excited. He was like, how do you want to do this deal? And I was like, honestly, I put my key on the back of the wheel and the wheel well, like on top of the tire and,
just open my car and put it in my console. And I was like, looking back, giving a drug dealer the keys to your car is like batshit crazy. But small town, I had like a very noticeable car problem.
Also, you were like kind of friends with him. Yeah, exactly. And I was like, he's not going to fucking steal my car because like I will literally find him and I'll break his bones. No, I won't. But so I got off my shift. I opened it and I saw it and it literally looked like it was gold. Like it was purple because it was activist.
And I was like, ooh, this is so fucking exciting. Like, I'm about to drink lean again. Like, this was, like, peak, like, lean Xan era. I was like, I'm going to be so cool. So I got – I was, like, really excited. And before my shift ended, I stole a Sprite and some Jolly Ranchers because I stole everything from that fucking job. But I get home. I have the double cup styrofoam cup. I put ice in it, and I –
I pour up, I put the Jolly Ranchers in it. I make walkie slush. I make a walkie slush and I'm drinking it. And I'm like, this doesn't taste like it did before. And I was like, whatever, like,
I'm just tripping like whatever so I'm like sipping on it and then I'd like notice I'm getting like really tired and I'm like Ooh, like this is just like none like I'm nodding off like whatever I'm like getting really high and then I finished the whole cup cuz I was like, oh I want to feel what it feels like to finish it all at once and I just like knocked out I fell asleep and I woke up the next day and I
I realized he had just given me Benadryl and I just drank a cup of fucking Benadryl and fell asleep. And I was too big of like a baby to be like, yo, like give me my money back. You just sold me Benadryl. Cause I was like, I'm not hard. Like I'm a fucking skinny twink. Like, yeah, here I go. Like asking this drug dealer, give me my money, give me my money back.
But so yeah, that's my story. Sis, you're over. I'm going to tweet about this. Tea frog sipping emoji. Noted. Literally noted. Noted. Literally noted. Notes up. So I never bought drugs from him again.
Well, we should find him and fucking break his bones. I know. Because he doesn't do menagerie like that. He keeps up with me, so he might be seeing this. And just know, I know you sold me menagerie. What if he hits you up and he's like, it actually wasn't menagerie. You just have the strongest kidneys intolerance ever. So it just didn't really fuck with you. Yeah. It definitely was menagerie, though. Yeah. It really was. It really was. That is so awesome. You, after a long day of going to school and working at the gas station, you'd be like, oh,
I need to kick my shoes off. I need to have a beer. I like understand that. Like after a day of doing anything, I'm like, no, no,
I need a drink. Literally me when this is my dog, I'm like, woo! But that's me with Fortnite. Instead of beer, I'm like, oh, I need a round of Fortnite. No, you after playing Fortnite. Damn, I need a beer. That was a lot. That was a lot. But yeah, part of me is sad that I didn't do any of that stuff as a kid. But I'm like, I could do it as an adult and not risk it.
My brain development. If I really wanted to now. But now I just don't have a want to. It's also just all fentanyl. Yeah now it's like super dangerous. But. The drugs just aren't the same way. They used to be.
I know. They used to be fun. We used to buy like footballs or bars of Xanax and just get... What's a football? It's two milligrams of Xanax instead of four. Somebody the other day posted edibles and it was like at the thing where it says how much is in it. It was 2.5 grams. And I was like, that's...
literally obliterated obliterated obliterated obliterated what is that to milligrams like I don't even know grams yes it was 2.5 grams like a 2000
I used to love custom grow 420. I lived in Texas and couldn't find weed and I was 13 years old. 2,500 milligrams. That is fucking crazy. And it, but it wasn't like one thing. It was like, each thing was probably like 500 milligrams and it was like a little pack of like cookie things. And I was like, we've gone too far. That would, that is radioactive. That's Chernobyl in a fucking bag for me. That would literally like my skin would start melting and I would like, yeah, like.
Like I would grow another head. Your sounds would start mutating. You guys would never see me again. Like I would just like. You would run away. No, I would evaporate into thin air. Like I would have it and then be on the couch with y'all and then one second just like, like disappear. Put it in your bowels.
Yeah, I just, I knew a lot of kids who would drink lean literally in class. Like, because I think the teachers didn't really understand what that was or like what to look out for. But there would be kids just in my class with a Sprite bottle with purple Sprite in it. That's so fire. And just like at the
the front of class too like they weren't in the back like this one kid that i like remember his face i don't remember his name i remember we were sitting in class it was maybe like an algebra class and he was just sitting there with his whole bottle like so bright and early 7 20 a.m is when school started this was my first class of the day he literally for 7 30 he woke up and was like oh
i need to take a load off he was like this high school no he was just fully addicted and like yeah he would like yeah he stopped he would start getting the shakes if he didn't have it yeah exactly um i wish i was that cool
I would just drink vodka and Powerade bottles in physics. I drank every day in physics. I would have like three shots of vodka in a Powerade bottle that I bought from the lunch line. And I aced that class. And one time I got caught cheating because you had to put your phones in the calculator spots to get it. And I was like, I'm smarter than you. I'm just going to bring a second phone because I had my cracked iPhone 4. So I put my real iPhone in there and I took my other one and just used the calculator the entire time.
And we got busted. And that day or the next day I had a golf tournament. So I was like away on golf or at the tournament. Yeah, I played fucking golf. So what? But I...
I was at a golf tournament and it was literally only me that got caught cheating, but she lectured the whole class and had the principal come in there and everybody was like, none of us were cheating. It was literally Drew. And she hit me up and she was like, I'll let you like retake your test for like a 90 if you want. Cause I did really good on it. Cause I had a calculator. And the next day I stayed after school, retook the test and fucking aced it, got a 98, but I could only get a 90 because I cheated. But yeah,
If you just believe in your abilities and just understand that the knowledge is in there and it's just about tapping in and just really having confidence in yourself, you can get through anything without cheating. No, stop cheating because I need a doctor. We need accountants. We need more doctors. We need accountants. Not more influencers. Stop cheating, please. Stop cheating. Start counting, please. Fuck, what was I going to say?
I forgot. But yeah, I get really drunk in that class and I literally aced it. Oh, I-- I had a 4 point. I literally never was high or drunk or did anything like that in school, but I remember the first time I saw people my age getting drunk, it was, like, 6th, 7th grade, and this girl, like... I remember who it was because I have another story about her that I've told that's, like, a really popular story.
But she had one of the small little things of vodka in sixth grade. Granted, I'm sure that would get a sixth grader fucked up. Yeah, that would black you out. Because now at my age, that much alcohol literally, like, gets... I'm like, I cannot get behind the wheel of a car wheel. Like, I will kill everybody in this town. So, like...
I'm sure it did get her drunk, but it was, like, thinking back to those moments, it is so embarrassing the way she's acting. Like, riding around on the floor. Yeah, no, literally, like, falling down the stairs. It was such a big commotion that people were, like, following her around. She had a crowd following her around because it was all these kids who had never seen a drunk person our age before. And we're all, like, following her around. And I remember being embarrassed of her, though. I remember being like, ooh, this is, like, a lot. And then in, I think this was, like, 11th or 10th or 11th grade...
The other time I had seen somebody who was younger than me get drunk, I was really, really mean to them because I was like, you are so embarrassing. Because it was like when the first group of actually alternative kids came to our school and that wasn't a thing. And there was this one girl who I found really obnoxious because I'm like, babe, you're a ninth grader. Why are you an alcoholic? That is so embarrassing. I always found it really embarrassing. I was like, get a grip. You need to get a grip.
Your life is not that hard. You were 14 years old. Like, what are we talking about? And she would always come with a little thing of vodka and put it into an apple juice. And one time she was drunk, came up to me and my friends, and was like, do you guys want some? And I was like, do you fucking hear yourself? I was like, no. I don't want any of your baba juice. Like, I said something like...
super mean and like just like so i was just so mean to her and i literally was like i don't want any of your fucking kitty juice no and she was like oh my god you're such a fucking like she was like just so drunk she was trying to get someone else to be an alcoholic it's literally 10 40 a.m like go away from me and then i she ended up stopping so basically i saved somebody
I saved somebody from a life of terror, but with shame. Because that's the only way you can change people is with shame and embarrassment. Yes. Yes. Yeah. No love. Just shame. But yeah, I wasn't doing anything like that. I do remember the first time I got high in Miami, me and my friend, like,
-bought weed from... I don't even know who he bought weed from. -He had it in his sock, right? -No, that was the first time I saw weed. The first time I saw weed was in sixth grade. This guy I had a crush on, who was, like, the badass kid at my school, who also recently had gotten suspended for two weeks because when he-- he had a broken arm for, like, a month, and with his broken arm, there was video footage on the news of him breaking into the school and breaking all the windows of the doors, like, 'cause you know how there are the metal doors with the little windows?
Breaking into the school with his other homie right behind him. And he had a broken arm and he, with the broom, was, like, breaking the windows, going in and stealing the chocolate donation money. And then he got caught because there were security guards there and they took the money from him and they were like, yeah, you're suspended for, like, three weeks. So he got suspended for three weeks. I don't know why he wouldn't get expelled for that because that's literally breaking it out of the room. But he got expelled and then when he came back, we were sitting out on, like, the...
the, like, this, like, field that we had in the back of the school. And I was sitting there with him and then he was like, have you ever seen Weed before? And I was like, no. And then he took off his fucking stinky ass Jordan and turned it over and it fucking plopped out. He was wearing 14s at the time, I remember, because I had the same shoes because I was like, we're twinning.
And he took it out and it was like the smallest amount of weed I've probably, like, now thinking back to it, it was literally stems. He stole it from his older brother. Yeah, no, he fully did. And he was like, do you want to smoke some? I was like, no. And he was like, I just love that you're like a good girl. You're like a good girl.
good girl. Rizzler. And then I think he did get expelled. Yeah. Not that long after because he was constantly smoking weed in sixth grade on the property. But the first time I smoked weed was I like bought weed from somebody like in my grade. Like this was like, I think 12th grade or like maybe early 11th grade. It was 11th, 12th grade. It was most likely 12th grade. I bought weed and then me and my friends went to
Like an arcade or something. Like it had to have been 12th grade. Cause I had the money to get us an Uber. So it had to have been 12th grade. We went to like this arcade or something with our friends. And like, I think they gave us the weed because I, I told them I wanted weed. They gave us the weed. And then me and my friend were like walking down this really big,
busy street in Miami, like, freaking out because we were like, "Fuck, we don't have, like, rolling paper. We don't have, like, blunt wraps or anything." And we were, like, both 17 and we were like, "Oh my god, we are so stupid. We have no way of fucking smoking this." And then I think we were just, like, walking around in Miami and we were like, "Let's just go into a random store and see if, like, they'll just sell it to us." And I think, like, there was, like, a younger guy working behind the counter and we just, like, started talking to him and then when we bought it
I think he just didn't care. He was like, okay. And like, just sold us like the blunt wraps. And then I went home and I had to look up a tutorial on how to rule the blunt. And me and my friend sat in my backyard and it's the house my parents live at right now. So, you know, like where my dad sits, we went back there and we were watching it. And my little sister was trying so hard to like be around us. And I was like, go inside, get away. And then we got high and
We, like, were just, like, in my house hanging out watching TV and, like, eating snacks and chilling. And that was a friend who I did that, like, not a lot with. I only smoked weed in Miami, like, three times. Literally three times in my life. One of them was traumatic. Two of them were fun. Because the other time was...
prom i oh and i ate a fat ass nug because i was the person who everybody was like eat it like i bet you won't eat it and i was like this won't do anything to me and then they were like eat it and i was like eating nugs doesn't like get you high and then i just ate a nug and we all thought it was really funny damn um and it was so stupid you're like a popular girl i was just so crazy you're fine you're crazy yeah that was my me and my family went on like a family vacation
And it was like one of those hotels where like you could have like, it was like all free. I think it's all inclusive. And they had like a hookah lounge and like a bar like around every fucking corner. It was like the craziest shit I've ever seen. And me and my three older brothers all stayed in a room. Madeline and Jody stayed in a room and then my parents stayed in a room. And I,
My brothers, like the night before, had gone to the beach and like it's so easy to get weed there. So they just like bought weed. They literally go up and ask you if you want weed. And so my brothers bought some.
And they took it back to the hotel room and they were smoking on the balcony. I think I was like maybe 13, maybe 14. And they were like waving for me to come out there. And I was like, they were like, hit this, hit this. And I was like, no, I'm not smoking weed with you guys. And they like were granted, they were not much older than me. So it's not like they were grown ass men trying to get their...
young ass real high. It was just older brother shit. And they like blew it in my face. Like blew it in my face and I like
freaked out and i like ran out of the room and i was like i'm gonna get i'm gonna get so fucking high like this is oh i'm over and they're like drew you can't get high like that and i was like it's done it's done and i think i either actually did get high or i had placebo or some shit because i went to the dinner table and oh my god it was actually so scary they had like one of those mariachi bands that was going around the restaurant and they stood at our table for like what felt like four
five hours just playing the loudest music I've ever fucking heard I've ever heard in my entire life and I was like freaking the fuck out I was like this is so I was like covering my ears I was like over it and I didn't care if I was being mean I will say like when you were young a mariachi band is the if you're somebody who's easily oversimulated by noise yeah
Every time I heard one as a kid, I cried and freaked out. Yeah, it was. Because it is so, even now, like, I still find them really overstimulating because it's like, how do you get those instruments to be so loud? Also- I've been in rooms where they play instruments, but somehow, like, mariachi instruments are listening.
literally like reverberating off the wall. Um, but I, I also think it was because I was either high or like thought I was high and I was just like freaking the fuck out. And so I like laid my head on the table for like 10 minutes. And my dad was like, lift up your head, drew. And then I like lifted it up and I was just sitting there and I put it back down and I like fell asleep again. And then my dad like shoved me. He was like, fucking,
wake up why are you asleep at the dinner table and like i just sat up again and i laid my head down a third time and they were and my my brothers had caught on to like what was going on i was either
They thought I was, like, high from them. And they, like, started freaking out because they were also high. And my dad was like, what did y'all do to him? And they were like, nothing. He just, like, we were chilling on the balcony. And, like, they just, like, came up with a bullshit lie. And then I fell asleep for a fourth time. And my oldest brother was like, all right, we're going back to the room. And they just, like, took me up to the room and got me room service. And, like, he, like, kind of gave me, like, he, like, babied me so I didn't, like, tell on them. Yeah.
but I never told on them. And then also on that same trip, there was like a hookah lounge and my brothers like snuck me into the hookah lounge and I smoked hookah for the first time, but it didn't have nicotine in it. It was just like regular hookah. And I felt like the coolest person in the world. And then my parents said they were going to give me a shot and they just made like a virgin shot. They gave me a mad one, like
Like, they were white with blue and a little bit of red on the top. And we were like, oh, fuck. We're, like, going to get fucked up. And my parents gave it to us. And we took it. And we were like, ooh! That was, like, nasty. That's literally, like... It was nasty. And it had no alcohol in it. And we thought we were drunk. That's literally what we did to my little sister for New Year's. She, like, genuinely was like, I am so drunk. She was like, and yeah, I'm literally going to get drunk tonight. We're going to do that to Maddox soon. And we literally kept, like... What we were doing was we would...
I had like the shaker to make margaritas and I would make me and my mom a margarita. And then like my little sister would be like, can you give me some, like, give me some of it. And I'd be like, okay. And then when she would look around, I would literally, there's nothing in the thing. There's just the ice. And I would put water in it and shake it and be like, this is going to get you really drunk. And then she would be like, yeah, I was like, don't tell anybody. And I would just pour that in. And because it had like the remnants of like saltiness from whatever was in the shaker. So there was like,
"Oh my god, this tastes disgusting!" This is so strong! "This is so crazy, like, dude!" And we, um, I gave her, like, three of those and she was like, "You have to stop." 'Cause I'm like,
I'm going to get too crazy. Tequila makes me crazy. He's just like, I can't keep having these. And I was like, just don't say anything. That's awesome. We want to do that to Maddox where we give him like sparkling wine and tell him it's real wine and see how he reacts. We'll be like, you're going to get drunk. My other little sister. Oh my God. This is literally so embarrassing. We make fun of her for all the time. Like it's our favorite thing. We went to like a Christmas party and then we came back home and they had given me and my brother wine.
like the sparkling like cider, like the apple cider. What is it called? There's like that one burn that comes in like a champagne bottle and she had given it to us. And then when we got home, my parents were like, oh, we're going to go back to their house and like keep hanging out. But they dropped the kids off at home basically. So like my smallest siblings were asleep. It was just me, my older brother, and then my like sister who's like three years older than me. And we're sitting around. And at this time she's probably like
13, like 13, 14. And me and my brother went to the kitchen and we were like, we should tell her that this is like real. And like, we like went up to her and we were like, hey, so they...
left that bottle here when they meant to take it back but me and Dante are gonna drink it so like do you want some and she was like oh my fucking god yes like she was literally like yes like can I have some and we were like okay but you like need to like shut the fuck up like you can't we were like don't say anything about it and she was like okay I don't care and then we gave it to her and she had like an iPod touch and she had had like a cup and a half and she was like sitting in the corner not saying anything she was like like drinking and she was like
Like, acting like she was nodding off of the chair. And me and my brother were just like...
watching her we didn't say anything and she was like i don't know if i could keep having this like she was like just like acting drunk and we were like bitch that is fucking apple juice and she got so i can't believe y'all told her she got so embarrassed she was like i literally like i fucking knew it like i wasn't even like she got so embarrassed and we held it above her head forever like every family gathering we were like don't give sophia any of that fucking apple cider she's gonna turn up we were like do not do that to her like she will literally freak the
fuck out. And it was so fun. I need, yeah, but it's so fun like doing that to little kids because they think they think they're getting turned the fuck up. Like it's awesome. I imported a transcript of the last episode into chat GPT and it says,
I'm sorry, but this content appears to be inappropriate and offensive. It contains discussions of illegal and harmful activities such as the use of drugs and makes light of serious issues like cheating in relationships. There's no way that's real. I swear to God, I strongly advise against promoting or engaging with this type of content.
Oh my god, we're gonna be the first to go and the robots take over. They're gonna erase us, but maybe that will be good for us. They're gonna erase our digital footprint because they don't like us, which could be beneficial. Yeah, it would be nice. That's awesome, though. Well, I still stand by cheating is good for women. Women should cheat. Me and my mom literally had that conversation on the way to the airport yesterday.
About like being pro-cheating? Yeah, because women already mourn the loss of their relationship way before the men did. And that's why men get destroyed when they break up. But when women just move on in a week, it's because they already... They've been mourning this relationship for seven months, but they were trying to keep it...
together and hold it together, but the man was too busy being a fucking idiot. I mean, like, my shit's good at home. I don't care. I get to play PS5. Oh, that's my exciting...
Guys, this is so exciting. So I took a bunch of clothes to sell them because I had so many clothes and I finally was like, I need to get rid of some of these clothes. I did donate a bunch of things. I know. I'm like, actually... A lot of shit. A lot of shit. A lot of things were donated. So if you're in the greater LA area, just like look out for Inya's closet. It's all out there. But I did sell a bunch of stuff and with that money, I bought a PS5. And I am literally...
like i'm so excited to play fortnite on the new machine that's also like the graphics are gonna be really good i know they're gonna be like insane i'm like genuinely so excited but i do need to play more games i'm gonna play last of us that's actually what got me going is i wanted i was like looking at footage of the last of us game i was like fuck this has always been a game i've wanted to watch and since we're watching the show now like i feel like i need to
play it and then PS5s have been fucking sold out and out of stock for god knows how long and just so happened the day I looked it up they had just been restocked um
at best buy and gamestop and gamestop was sold out but best buy had a few left so i was like i am copying it's a sign if you can see one in stock just get it it's a sign because they are so i want to play it takes two oh and i want to play the new hogwarts game the harry potter game i know i am very anti harry potter it's like it looks cool
Oh, wow. Where do you think you're going to play that? On your fucking PS5. No. I'm going to play it. No Harry Potter shit is getting downloaded. When you're asleep, I'm going to open up that PS5 and shit down the side and fucking push it back on there.
I'm gonna do that I'm gonna fucking piss into the CD port I literally have done that before I think I've told that story I pissed all over my brother's Nintendo 64 and I like I came back like three weeks later and it was like crystallized and like it was growing crystals and shit and I was like to this day I've told them now but I held it down for like literally
10, 15, 20 years. In Honduras, when I had a really bad- Double the amount of time. I think I had traveler sickness. I think that's honestly what I had when I was just godforsakenly sick forever. But I was getting these awful migraines. I also used to get the worst migraines as a kid. When your grandma would give you the cocaine-
Yeah, my secret medicine that I don't know what it is. It's just a powder and she would make me go eat it out of her hand. And I was like, it works. I need to ask her what the fuck that was. But also, I was such a brat bitch. My grandma makes really good... Still is. I really am. My grandma makes really fucking good tortillas. And...
I've always hated store-bought tortillas. Something about the smell freaks me the fuck out. I fucking hate- Like the flour ones? The flour and corn ones. I don't mind corn, but flour, I hate. There is a smell to them that makes me sick. And my grandma, when she would come home with them, instead of like working her ass off and making her whole family tortillas when she would bring them home, I would throw up. I'd literally be like, and like literally start crying and be like, no! And then when she started putting them on the stove, I was like, okay.
I've been freaking out. But...
When I was really fucking sick from probably just, like, the water, like, from me having it as a kid, which doesn't make sense because I went there so much as a kid, but whatever. When I was really sick, my little cousin was playing PS2 with my brother, and they were screaming and, like, yelling, and I went and I picked it up and I fucking slammed it on the ground, which I think I've said before. But I went and I picked it up and I slammed it on the ground, and then the demo disc that they were playing... And then I threw it on the ground! Oh!
It's a dick in a box. Okay. Why were we so obsessed with music? Like, parody music? I don't know. That parody music is not a thing anymore. We need to bring back the key of awesome. Parody music isn't a thing anymore. But I guess, actually, it makes sense because the people who were into, like, all those SNL songs, like, the adults of that time were, like, weird. It's gone.
I guess it is still a thing. But they were like weird Al. It just now came out. Yeah, they were like weird Al Yankovic like fans as kids. And then they grew up and they like still needed that kind of comedic stimulation. It's gone. You need to stop doing that. Hide your kids. Hide your wife.
Well, I don't believe in electric cars, and I genuinely think in, like, 10 years, we're gonna have, like, an insane, massive explosion of multiple cars happening, and it's gonna be a nightmare. Like, I genuinely think the lithium batteries in cars that are on the street... Because I was in a garage going into a CVS, and this random electric car, which I didn't know the brand of it, it was, like, maybe, like, a Sion or, like, a Nissan or something. The sound it was making...
It was literally, it sounded like I was in a fucking like nuclear plant. Like it was just like the craziest sound ever. We're going to have nuclear powered cars sooner than later. Yeah. And we're going to experience literally like mass catastrophes of these cars getting into crashes and fucking exploding and causing like radioactive waste.
because why the fuck are we letting like lithium cars heat up to that like i don't know i'm sure there's i'm sure they're safe but in my head in 10 years watch all of them are gonna like rot the way batteries did in all your old toys and they're gonna explode the earth yeah well the way the lithium and cobalt is mined um is very very immoral and honestly i
it's all greenwashing and electric cars aren't really much more safe for the environment than a gas car. But that could be like big gas companies pushing their agenda just as much as like big electric is pushing their agenda. But like the power for the electric cars has to come from somewhere. The energy has to come from somewhere and it's probably fucking coal mines and no one's telling us. Also, I just don't believe in that because why the fuck would I want to sit and charge my goddamn car? I'm going to get an electric car.
I'm going to. I fear I might. I thought he was a man, but he was just a little boy. We talked about this very briefly in a lot of earlier episodes, but the AI snowball is actively happening in front of our face and no one is talking about it.
What do you mean? Like, once the world gets a taste for AI, it's going to snowball and evolve quicker than we could ever even imagine. And sooner than later, we're going to be
AI ourselves and then we're going to be in the singularity and we're going to be a cloud. I wish I could remember because I was talking about this other day and there was one specific thing that was freaking me out and I was like, we are so done but I can't think of it. But that's how I feel about almost everything.
recently. Oh, it was, there was an AI thing that can make your different artists sing different songs. So like if you wanted Ariana to sing, like, um, take a bow by Madonna, there is a generator that can take all of her like songs and generate her singing that whole song in the same metal, um,
melody and some of them don't sound very good but like specifically the ariana grande ones that i was hearing sound so much like her and yeah we are meeting our end but it's okay because we're gonna be the last generation that has like semi-normalcy um i do feel bad for anyone born after 2008 because um it's gonna be actually i i will um or i i'm like scared i'm
of like what the internet is doing to society because like conspiracy theorists like always existed they always they've always been around but they were like your weird like friend's older brother in his room like being a stoner like and having like neon posters on his wall yeah exactly um but now that like the internet has like connected all of these freaks like that have the same thoughts they've all like
said they've been saying everything is like a conspiracy and it's it's really like honestly starting to scare me the way like like a video of like lebron james beating the scoring record uh
of the all-time scoring record popped up on my feed and I was like, oh cool, I'm going to watch this. And then shortly into the video, I realized it was like conspiracy brainwashing about the number 38 and all of the comments were like, yeah, like, and he broke the record 38 weeks after he was born and they were all being like dead serious. And I was like, literally what is going on and why is this happening? And there needs to be like a limit of,
like internet like genuinely i believe there needs to be a limit to the internet because like the and like all of the comments where it's like or everybody talking about how like oh the world is ending the world is ending like
take the internet away from them and like let them go outside and be normal and like they'll realize it's genuinely okay but like i'm probably just a denier oh you know what i have theories on dreams like i really do i've been having like a lot of really coming right off of saying like people need to stop making conspiracies and like being able to do that on the internet and you're like all right so here's my theory i have theories where do i share my theories
I have theories to share. Who can I talk to? So I genuinely do believe
that when you're dreaming you're just with like I I genuinely like I've gotten to the point where I believe this with my full chest and there's like no convincing me otherwise and I will be the sole pusher of this idea and I'll die on this hill and I'll die alone on this idea but in 30 years in the future when they can research streams properly I will be a genius and like and people will be like he was saying it before everybody I swear just watch this when this happens
But I genuinely believe when you go to sleep and you wake up in a dream and like you're in that dream, you're waking up in a different dimension. And I'm I'm sorry. Like, I know it sounds hoopy doopy, whatever bullshit. But for some reason, I can't shake it because like the feeling that I get like in these dreams is insane.
It's so fucking weird. It literally feels like real life. And I'm like, there's no way. I wonder if some people have way more realistic dreams than others. Yeah. I don't know. Because the dreams lately, I've literally been convinced and been living real lives. And then I've been having dreams lately where I'm having fucking...
five different dreams at once. So they're all stacked on top of each other. And I have screenshots of these dreams memorized where it's five different things happening at once. And it freaks me the fuck out. And when I wake, for example, when I was on the plane, I had a dream flying there and it felt like I experienced an entire lifetime when I woke up. It was so fucking jarring.
um but yeah i believe people watch more um like movies porn and stuff oh yeah i think it has something to do with like all the porn that i watch and consume it sounds like you watch really expansive porn though like yeah it's like everything everywhere at once but porn it's porn it's porn well i don't sleep to dream so oh
Wow. Wake me up when September ends. I'm going to fucking kick the fuck out of you. I think I'm going to join a boxing class and then on one of these episodes beat the living fuck out of Drew. Okay, I'd like to see you try.
Um, I've been watching The Sopranos and it's fucking awesome. And that's, that's all I really have to say. You start watching the, uh, start watching The Sopranos, uh, Sopranos like once every three months. You're like, I'm watching it. I started it like two, three months ago. Um, and then I was watching it with a friend and I hadn't seen the friend in a long time. It's like how I watch girls.
I watch girls. What do you mean by friends? I watch girls with Orion and we haven't fucking watched any more episodes because we watched together and we were like, we need to watch this together. And I haven't made it past episode eight because me and Orion, when we're together, we like to just like get high and be on our iPhones and not on TV. But yeah, that's why I didn't watch it. But now I'm back to watching it and I've been binging Sopranos. That's such big Chungus vibes.
Sopranos is big chungus as fuck. See, that doesn't even hurt because I have this condition that makes it so I don't feel pain, heat, hunger, whatever. I could stick my hand on the stove right now and it wouldn't hurt me. Okay. Promise. Promises, promises. I was listening to Poker Face by Lady Gaga yesterday when I walked into the house and I think it might be one of the greatest songs ever made. And I fully believe that. I thought Judas. Also Judas. Lady Gaga has like 15 entries in the top 100 for me.
so is Lana Del Rey I think what about top five would she make the top five for nostalgia reasons yes but I don't think so one of my top fives is always going to be Somebody Else's Guy by Jocelyn Brown yeah that song is so I still remember when we saw um who was it performing it
at like a drag show and that's how i found it and i literally oh what show was that it was for it was with james charles yeah oh my god that's a story we'll never tell it wasn't even that crazy it was actually sweet he gave us tickets to go see uh
the all not all stars wasn't an all-star season no it was i don't think it's like season seven or something yeah um no it was like season 12 or something like that oh wow uh but yeah it was just maybe season 10 when they go around and perform after they go on tour and it was fucking lit and then we have a photo with all the drag queens and that was before i really watched all rupaul's drag race and i was like where is that photo because it's crazy has that hasn't researched wearing a playboy card yeah i look like there's
I look straight. But I don't. But everybody thought I was funny because I look really uncomfortable. But look, I was shaking it in my fucking boots. Because it was the... Who was the girl that had the peach on her head? I always forget her name. That's who was performing it. But I can't think of her name. Peach. Yeah, from my media, it's The Sopranos. Last of Us.
Even though the best episode was episode three, and I just don't think they're going to, like, surpass that. Oh my god, we didn't talk about that. That episode was single-handedly, I'd say, goes down as top five episode of TV of all time. Like, obviously I'm biased, but, like, that shit was fucking awesome. I don't even think bias or not, like, it is, like, undeniably one of the best.
It felt like a movie. Like, I've never seen an episode of a show. And so it felt like I watched, like, a two-hour movie. And I wanted to watch a two-hour movie of that. Yeah, it was so good. Also, we just don't get, like, gay love stories like that where it's, like, not even... I don't know. I could get into it, but I'm not going to. But, yeah, it was just really beautiful and super...
I'm not going to spoil because it was good. You should watch it. Yeah, you should watch. Nick Offerman was on, I forgot what, Late Night Show, but he made a joke. He was like, that episode was watched, I think, six million times on the first night. Wow. And he was like, yeah, and HBO still put me on here for the last six people who haven't seen it, so...
if you're one of the last 18 people on the planet who haven't seen it, you should go watch it. That's awesome. Because I feel like most of our audience would have seen that, but maybe not. Yeah, you should watch that though. Yeah, you don't have to watch the show because it's really extremely mid and that's probably a hot take. But that episode single-handedly wrote for me back then. Yeah, you can literally just watch that episode. That's how it's felt so far though. The first episode
so fucking good. Second episode, okay. Third episode, so fucking good. Fourth episode, okay. Have you watched the fourth episode? Yeah. I didn't watch it yet. You know what it is? I was saying to Drew, it easily, I feel like, could have been a movie. I haven't played the game though, so there's a chance that's just not true because I think there's like two, three parts to the fucking game. So maybe it could have been a movie, but I feel like it could have been like one movie, two movie, three movie. Like it could have been movies. But...
series are always way more profitable and way more like oh my god i'm on the edge of my seat yeah i know like conservatives and evangelical christians were pissed that played the video games were pissed about that but then they got read the filth because in the show it's or in the in the comics or in the game it said he had a partner but they didn't specify like yeah i think he was gay in the game but they didn't realize that until the show and like
Also, I'm sorry. You're watching a movie about fucking mushroom zombies and that's what you're nitpicking? Yeah. Get a fucking life and a job. Fucking freak bitch.
Oh my god. Oh my god, Drew. My song is Oh My Show. That's not your song, though, or your show. It's your media of the week, but it's not your song. Actually, I did make Devil... No, what was it? Demon Slayer. I started Demon Slayer two nights ago. Oh my god, he's playing now. And it...
Me watching six episodes of Sopranos last night.
Sopranos. Sopranos. But I also... My song is Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. I fucking love that song. Porcelain by Moby. I'll give you one more. Cannonball by The Breeders. Also, Unfinished Symphony. Mine is...
I Think of You by Little Annie. We've only just begun. Grant Green. At Last I Am Free. At last I am free. I found the original. But this one's by Chic. I can't find Lucy in front of me. And Wood Cabin, which I've said by St. Etienne. It was in an episode of The Sopranos. This song. I was back in Texas.
Not too long ago. No, like two years ago. And I had just found At Last I Am Free. I can finally see in front of me. And I would sit in the car alone, parked like really far away from my house, like screaming and crying to that song. And I love that song. Sounds like you have issues because I don't do that kind of crap.
Like when I get to my house, I just go inside. I don't give a fuck. Sitting in the car is the best feeling ever. Oh, now you sit in the car. Now you sit in the car. She wants to be me so fucking bad. You don't even have a car, babes. So I did. And I did sit in the car. I used to sit in the car after school and not purposely not turn on the AC when it was like 110 degrees outside and sweat all the toxins out and do my homework while I was sweating. That's actually awesome. Me and Orion love committing a mess sitting in the car.
Just when we're out and we're like, what are we supposed to be doing next? We don't want to go home yet. So we just park the car and we sit. Are the killers problematic? The killers? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if I know any songs by the killers. There's like the killers and then like the doors. I don't know any songs. Lenny Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz. But yeah, that's it. All right. Novocaine. Novocaine. Novocaine. Control or Blonde?
Control. Like SZA? Yeah. That's really hard, actually. Right? That's genuinely so hard. Comment what you think. Realistically, realistically, control. Because I listen to control more. I just don't listen a lot anymore. Like for you? Or like what is...
Which is a better album? I'm going to say Blonde. I think Blonde, musically, I find more... It's just more interesting. But Control is just undeniably one of the best albums that's come out in my lifetime. Undeniably. Especially in the past 10 years. I think, for me, it's Blonde, for sure. Yeah, but in terms of which... If I could only listen to one for the rest of my life, I'm going to pick Control. Because I listen to Control way more. It's such a vibe. It's so...
classic but blonde also like every time i listen to blonde i'm like god damn it this is such a good fucking album it pisses me off um and it just reminds me of like it reminds any album that came out 2015 to 2017 are like some of my favorite albums because it's just like best time of my life so fun so free finding new things um
also Spotify needs to stop recommending me new artists because I don't want to know any more fucking artists I'm so tired of that shit let me see your stupid fucking cover and I can tell graphically that it was made before the year 2018 and I want to fucking hit you in the head stop making music that sounds old intentionally like I get it you're getting your bag and it's probably what you want to create but don't try to trick me yeah you're not gonna trick me the second I see 2022 I turn the song off and I'm not joking
Unless sometimes Spotify does that thing where it's because it was uploaded in that year. It'll say that year, but if you dig deep, it's like an old album. There's a few albums that I listen to that they're old albums, but it says they were unlisted.
released in 2022 but also if you dig deeper and you go down it'll say like the copyright was made in like 1979 or something um but it was released on spotify 2022 but yeah spotify stop it because you're not gonna fucking trick me also i do you ever get this spotify sometimes will randomly throw in a song that's trending on tiktok and i'm like are you fucking kidding me why are you doing that like who do you think owns this account oh you know what's crazy is i i
saw a video of my sister lip syncing to young oh yeah and it freaked me the fuck out and i was like tiktok has gone too fucking far like it's gone too far that my sister is singing young lean bitch is coming go but it
I was like, no, it's too far. That is mine. She can't have him. The internet cannot have Young Lean. Oh, but Young Lean is so big. No, he's fucking not. You live in a microcosm. You live in a fucking bubble. It's an echo chamber. And all you hear about is Young Lean. He's not massive. He's not mainstream. Oh my god. Here, watch this. Oh my god.